Improving Public Speaking??

[jason91]

I think the most effective public speaking tool is a mind shift.

A shift from "Me" focus to Nobody gives a crap about me.

They only care about how I look, how I dress, how I communicate, what I can add to them. They don't give a crap about me.

I don't know how you can adopt this mindset - but it's been insanely useful for me.

Do you care if I'm nervous, shy, or whatever the heck as you're reading these words on this forum? Only if it's effecting how well you understand what I'm saying. Lol It's not about you, it's about them. Forget about yourself and you'll have nothing to worry about

 

[Bila]

I was told on numerous occasions that i am a very good public speaker ( in French lol) , and was advised to run for politics because of that ( was actually offered a riding some years ago ) My advice : Let your heart speak while making good logical points. Have feelings without being emotional. It's ok to be shy ....Public speaking is like a muscle, the more you practice, the more you will get better at it. Practice as much as possible, you will adjust things as you go.

What i find important is to really speak from the heart, it touches people, they will listen more, understand more, follow more.

 

[AndrewNC]

tools or resources

Tools and resources?!

No. Go out and do it.

Toastmasters...anywhere you get experience public speaking.

Just do it. The best mindset shifts come after you have reference experiences of taking action...and realizing you won't die when you do it enough.

I dare you to screw up.
I dare you to choke on your words.
I dare you to get nervous speaking in front of people.

Mess up. Talk about something embarrassing, go unprepared, screw up. Hope people laugh at you.

Because only when this happens, you will realize that it's not really a big deal, all this fear was only some thoughts that floated into your head, and that you'll still be alive after you do it.

I used to be scared to record my YouTube videos in front of other people. I would hike, bike, or drive to places where nobody was around to set up my tripod just to hope that nobody would find me.

Then I hiked to the top of devil's bridge in Sedona, AZ with three...er two and a half... other members of this forum . And we recorded right on one of the major tourist hiking destinations there. At least 30 people were behind the camera when I was recording.

I was nervous recording in front of people for the first time, I couldn't think of my words.

Then I just did it.

...and about 20 seconds into it, some words just spilled out of my mouth which was not only me saying the 'wrong thing'..it was perhaps the most embarrassing thing I could have said at the time. 100x "worse" than my worst fear from public speaking.

People stopped their conversations, turned their heads, and everyone was laughing at what I just said...including myself.

Eventually the people went on with their days, I recorded one of my best videos to that point, and now i'm not scared to record in front of other people at all any more.

The reason? I said something 100x worse than my worst fear..and I still lived. So after that, the old 'hard stuff' is now easy.

And actually, when I came back to Phoenix, a few weeks later, I ran into one of the people who heard me mess up....and they forgot who I was. Didn't even recognize me. She was too busy thinking about all those BS thoughts in her own head to even notice the fears and negative self-talk that other people go through.

Like Reebok....Just do it.

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Toastmasters.

They are everywhere.

Definitely recommend

 

[Longinus]

Funny story:

One meeting I was Toastmaster of the evening. TME is the person who announces all the speeches and gives introductions to all speakers and evaluators etc. Sometimes we work with themes. Before the meeting I announced that a famous Dutch guru "Anton Robijns" was coming especially for that evening. I pimped the invitation with guru-quotes and stuff that was completely over the top. My real name is Anton, so I thought everybody understood it was kinda joke/parody.

But the venue was overcrowded with people who were really coming for that Dutch guru Anton Robijns Even there was no extra promotion made, people who were never seen before were just showing up!

I may have dissapointed them by parodying some famous gurus, but it's maybe also a good sign that people need such gurus in my country

 

[LeftBench]

Found a Toastmasters club near my house that I definitely plan on checking out. Super excited.

Thanks for the videos, @NVious, I will give them a watch now.

 

[NVious]

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqnoVzvx47SwObH_fq50kXw

 

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[MKHB]

I was told on numerous occasions that i am a very good public speaker ( in French lol) , and was advised to run for politics because of that ( was actually offered a riding some years ago ) My advice : Let your heart speak while making good logical points. Have feelings without being emotional. It's ok to be shy ....Public speaking is like a muscle, the more you practice, the more you will get better at it. Practice as much as possible, you will adjust things as you go.

What i find important is to really speak from the heart, it touches people, they will listen more, understand more, follow more.

That's not fair @Bila everything sound better in French.

James,

Toastmaster is great; practice practice practice - no easy way out of this.

Video tape yourself in front of a mirror with a script, then as you get more comfortable start to improvise. Have other people critique you, get the uncomfortable part out of the way. Over prepare, this will remove some of the anxiety of dead air or fumbling when speaking.

I lot of the people who do well in front of crowds are actually the more shy/nervous types. They harness the power of "nervous energy" - fear is a very strong emotion and can be used to your advantage. I know a lot of confidant speakers who really suck at public speaking. They tend to be so relaxed and confident they get caught up in hearing the sound of their own voice the forget about what the audience wants or needs to hear.

 

[ZCP]

Tell 'em what you are going to say. Tell 'em. Tell 'em what you said.

+1 for toastmasters.

Volunteer for offices, coaching kids, church events, etc. where you HAVE to speak / email / communicate with people. Any experience is great experience.

 

[DeletedUser394]

let us know when you go to toastmasters.

btw, when you're arresting some douchebag you can practice your speeches on him/her haha.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

So it's almost been a full week... how was your first toastmasters?

 

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[Longinus]

I have an issue with public speaking also. I tend to get worried about my accent and people not understanding me in college classes(though none of my friends risk me if I say something). I really don't know why...

Yeah, Arnold Schwarzenegger was also worried about his accent. That didn't keep him from making blockbuster movies. Same with Stallone. Or Van Damme. People also laughed with my accent when I was a kid because my parents came from another region. So what, it makes you unique.

Face it, 99.9% of the world population tend to get worried about their accent, looks, posture, ... That's why speaking in front of an audience is the biggest fear of people. Yes, they're actually more afraid of speaking for an audience than for death, nuclear threats, IS, diseases or asking on this forum if their idea is fastlane. Can you imagine?

Just be bold and get in front of that audience. You're probably making it up and if not, it's no reason to stay silent. People don't care about your accent, they care about your message.

 

[Longinus]

I'm a member of Toastmasters for more than 2 years right now (I'm a "Competent Communicator, or CC" now). Before I was quiet lonely, my old friends were pure sidewalkers (was before I read TMF ) and I did not know where I could find people on the right frequency. In Toastmasters I found lots of good and ambitious people, so even if you don't want to speech, I highly recommand. I just hope for you it's not one of those corporate grey suite clubs like there are many.

 

[Mattie]

I definitely have some introvert in me when it comes to worrying about what people think. I don't think I'm a complete introvert though, but I definitely have things I need to work on.

This plays a major factor. And it is pushing yourself to reach beyond the horizon and get out of the introvert comfort zone.

 

[LeftBench]

Tools and resources?!

No. Go out and do it.

Toastmasters...anywhere you get experience public speaking.

Just do it. The best mindset shifts come after you have reference experiences of taking action...and realizing you won't die when you do it enough.

I dare you to screw up.
I dare you to choke on your words.
I dare you to get nervous speaking in front of people.

Mess up. Talk about something embarrassing, go unprepared, screw up. Hope people laugh at you.

Because only when this happens, you will realize that it's not really a big deal, all this fear was only some thoughts that floated into your head, and that you'll still be alive after you do it.

I used to be scared to record my YouTube videos in front of other people. I would hike, bike, or drive to places where nobody was around to set up my tripod just to hope that nobody would find me.

Then I hiked to the top of devil's bridge in Sedona, AZ with three...er two and a half... other members of this forum . And we recorded right on one of the major tourist hiking destinations there. At least 30 people were behind the camera when I was recording.

I was nervous recording in front of people for the first time, I couldn't think of my words.

Then I just did it.

...and about 20 seconds into it, some words just spilled out of my mouth which was not only me saying the 'wrong thing'..it was perhaps the most embarrassing thing I could have said at the time. 100x "worse" than my worst fear from public speaking.

People stopped their conversations, turned their heads, and everyone was laughing at what I just said...including myself.

Eventually the people went on with their days, I recorded one of my best videos to that point, and now i'm not scared to record in front of other people at all any more.

The reason? I said something 100x worse than my worst fear..and I still lived. So after that, the old 'hard stuff' is now easy.

And actually, when I came back to Phoenix, a few weeks later, I ran into one of the people who heard me mess up....and they forgot who I was. Didn't even recognize me. She was too busy thinking about all those BS thoughts in her own head to even notice the fears and negative self-talk that other people go through.

Like Reebok....Just do it.

Thanks for this post. I just need to go and do it!!!!!

My slow lane job requires me to occasionally testify in court. The first few times I had to do it I was so nervous it was ridiculous. Beat red, sweating, shaking, etc. It wasn't until I sat in on a court session and watched it from beginning to end that I realized it's no big deal. People are more worried about themselves than anything else. It was one big joke really. Now when I testify I get up there and kill it. Lawyers got nothing on me.

Your story about taking the video in public reminded me of that. I need to carry these things over into my public speaking. Thanks for the help.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

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[manta]

Another vote for Toastmasters. And they are most places

Where are you planning on public speaking? I know someone who set up free talks all around her City related to her business and would do her best no matter how many people showed up (even if it was only 5 people) and her business grew from that quite significantly. She had a soft pitch at the end I believe. It can really give you an edge over people who solely use online methods of attracting business.

 

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[LeftBench]

That's not fair @Bila everything sound better in French.

James,

Toastmaster is great; practice practice practice - no easy way out of this.

Video tape yourself in front of a mirror with a script, then as you get more comfortable start to improvise. Have other people critique you, get the uncomfortable part out of the way. Over prepare, this will remove some of the anxiety of dead air or fumbling when speaking.

I lot of the people who do well in front of crowds are actually the more shy/nervous types. They harness the power of "nervous energy" - fear is a very strong emotion and can be used to your advantage. I know a lot of confidant speakers who really suck at public speaking. They tend to be so relaxed and confident they get caught up in hearing the sound of their own voice the forget about what the audience wants or needs to hear.

Thanks for this great advice!!!

 

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[LeftBench]

Funny story:

One meeting I was Toastmaster of the evening. TME is the person who announces all the speeches and gives introductions to all speakers and evaluators etc. Sometimes we work with themes. Before the meeting I announced that a famous Dutch guru "Anton Robijns" was coming especially for that evening. I pimped the invitation with guru-quotes and stuff that was completely over the top. My real name is Anton, so I thought everybody understood it was kinda joke/parody.

But the venue was overcrowded with people who were really coming for that Dutch guru Anton Robijns Even there was no extra promotion made, people who were never seen before were just showing up!

I may have dissapointed them by parodying some famous gurus, but it's maybe also a good sign that people need such gurus in my country

LOL, great story!!

 

[masaldana2]

im starting one tomorrow and i might do improv classes

 

[Longinus]

I have a really annoying voice lol. I get super self conscious about it and it causes so much anxiety

You might be the only person who thinks that, and even then, it's what you have to say what matters. I met several people who say the same, and all of them are making it up, causing anxiety for nothing. Besides, you can train your voice. It's just a muscle.

 

[Mattie]

Are you an introvert? It might be useful to get over fears, anxiety, and worrying about what people think.

 

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[mozvideo]

I always start with carrying out to friends or co-workers whenever I have a chance to speak publicly. It's much easier, as you know these people and you're used to them, you already know what they think of you
It's all about practice and seeing your mistakes before you swim in the open.

 

[LeftBench]

I found one that better fits my schedule, although its much further. Not the end of the world. http://opendoor.toastmastersclubs.org/

 

[Anthony Mathapo]

I think the most effective public speaking tool is a mind shift.

A shift from "Me" focus to Nobody gives a crap about me.

They only care about how I look, how I dress, how I communicate, what I can add to them. They don't give a crap about me.

I don't know how you can adopt this mindset - but it's been insanely useful for me.

Do you care if I'm nervous, shy, or whatever the heck as you're reading these words on this forum? Only if it's effecting how well you understand what I'm saying. Lol It's not about you, it's about them. Forget about yourself and you'll have nothing to worry about

best post i have heard all week. THE TRUTH DOES NOT GET BETTER THAN THAT!!!

 

[sija1]

Hey all,

I'm interested in getting better at speaking in public. I tend to get shy/embarrassed and care too much what people think. I was wondering what tools or resources I should look into to improve in this area?

Practice is the king. I remember when I moved to Quebec and started learning french. It took me a lot of time to start speaking to people I don't know. Then one day I just said screw it and started participating in different activities which involved speaking to a group of 10, 50 even 100 people. Made an a$$ of myself couple of times in the process, but now speaking to an audience is one of the things I love the most.

That being said, Google some practical tips and use every opportunity to talk to a group of people. Start with smaller ones, like 10-15. About Toastmasters - never joined but just did a research after reading the posts here and will definitively be doing that too.

I wish you the best of luck!

 

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[DrunkFish]

Something I usually keep in mind is that the most listened to people are the ones who are the most bold. Like MLK or Steve Jobs. Start with the why, stand for something.

If either of these guys cared for what people thought, they definitely wouldn't have turned out to be who they were. A lot of people hate both of them but a lot of people strongly support them as well.

 

[healthstatus]

Toastmasters is good, I would also say to check into a Dale Carnegie course on speaking as they address large groups, small groups and mingling.

 

[LeftBench]

Hey all,

I'm interested in getting better at speaking in public. I tend to get shy/embarrassed and care too much what people think. I was wondering what tools or resources I should look into to improve in this area? I realize I could do a Google search but I am interested in seeing what other forum members have used to improve in this area.

Thanks in advance and I hope everyone is having a great night!

James

 

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[LeftBench]

Toastmasters.

They are everywhere.

Definitely recommend

Checking it out online now. Looks very interesting, thank you for the reply Grumpy.

 

[LeftBench]

I think the most effective public speaking tool is a mind shift.

A shift from "Me" focus to Nobody gives a crap about me.

They only care about how I look, how I dress, how I communicate, what I can add to them. They don't give a crap about me.

I don't know how you can adopt this mindset - but it's been insanely useful for me.

Do you care if I'm nervous, shy, or whatever the heck as you're reading these words on this forum? Only if it's effecting how well you understand what I'm saying. Lol It's not about you, it's about them. Forget about yourself and you'll have nothing to worry about

You make some excellent points, Jason. Thanks for the post!!

 

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