Improving Public Speaking??

[LeftBench]

Hey all,

I'm interested in getting better at speaking in public. I tend to get shy/embarrassed and care too much what people think. I was wondering what tools or resources I should look into to improve in this area? I realize I could do a Google search but I am interested in seeing what other forum members have used to improve in this area.

Thanks in advance and I hope everyone is having a great night!

James

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Toastmasters.

They are everywhere.

Definitely recommend

 

[LeftBench]

Toastmasters.

They are everywhere.

Definitely recommend

Checking it out online now. Looks very interesting, thank you for the reply Grumpy.

 

[NVious]

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqnoVzvx47SwObH_fq50kXw

 

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[LeftBench]

Found a Toastmasters club near my house that I definitely plan on checking out. Super excited.

Thanks for the videos, @NVious, I will give them a watch now.

 

[jason91]

I think the most effective public speaking tool is a mind shift.

A shift from "Me" focus to Nobody gives a crap about me.

They only care about how I look, how I dress, how I communicate, what I can add to them. They don't give a crap about me.

I don't know how you can adopt this mindset - but it's been insanely useful for me.

Do you care if I'm nervous, shy, or whatever the heck as you're reading these words on this forum? Only if it's effecting how well you understand what I'm saying. Lol It's not about you, it's about them. Forget about yourself and you'll have nothing to worry about

 

[LeftBench]

I think the most effective public speaking tool is a mind shift.

A shift from "Me" focus to Nobody gives a crap about me.

They only care about how I look, how I dress, how I communicate, what I can add to them. They don't give a crap about me.

I don't know how you can adopt this mindset - but it's been insanely useful for me.

Do you care if I'm nervous, shy, or whatever the heck as you're reading these words on this forum? Only if it's effecting how well you understand what I'm saying. Lol It's not about you, it's about them. Forget about yourself and you'll have nothing to worry about

You make some excellent points, Jason. Thanks for the post!!

 

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[Longinus]

I'm a member of Toastmasters for more than 2 years right now (I'm a "Competent Communicator, or CC" now). Before I was quiet lonely, my old friends were pure sidewalkers (was before I read TMF ) and I did not know where I could find people on the right frequency. In Toastmasters I found lots of good and ambitious people, so even if you don't want to speech, I highly recommand. I just hope for you it's not one of those corporate grey suite clubs like there are many.

 

[Bila]

I was told on numerous occasions that i am a very good public speaker ( in French lol) , and was advised to run for politics because of that ( was actually offered a riding some years ago ) My advice : Let your heart speak while making good logical points. Have feelings without being emotional. It's ok to be shy ....Public speaking is like a muscle, the more you practice, the more you will get better at it. Practice as much as possible, you will adjust things as you go.

What i find important is to really speak from the heart, it touches people, they will listen more, understand more, follow more.

 

[manta]

Another vote for Toastmasters. And they are most places

Where are you planning on public speaking? I know someone who set up free talks all around her City related to her business and would do her best no matter how many people showed up (even if it was only 5 people) and her business grew from that quite significantly. She had a soft pitch at the end I believe. It can really give you an edge over people who solely use online methods of attracting business.

 

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[LeftBench]

I'm a member of Toastmasters for more than 2 years right now (I'm a "Competent Communicator, or CC" now). Before I was quiet lonely, my old friends were pure sidewalkers (was before I read TMF ) and I did not know where I could find people on the right frequency. In Toastmasters I found lots of good and ambitious people, so even if you don't want to speech, I highly recommand. I just hope for you it's not one of those corporate grey suite clubs like there are many.

Great info, thanks for the post. Definitely gonna give Toastmasters a shot.


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[LeftBench]

What i find important is to really speak from the heart, it touches people, they will listen more, understand more, follow more.

Great advice... Thank you!


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[LeftBench]

Another vote for Toastmasters. And they are most places

Where are you planning on public speaking?

Thanks! And I don't have any definitive public speaking engagements of any type at the moment. I just feel that it's an important skill to have when trying to build almost any type of business. I used to run a company that conducted Women's Self Defense seminars and it definitely helped my public speaking skills, but also brought to my attention how afraid I was of it.




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[MKHB]

I was told on numerous occasions that i am a very good public speaker ( in French lol) , and was advised to run for politics because of that ( was actually offered a riding some years ago ) My advice : Let your heart speak while making good logical points. Have feelings without being emotional. It's ok to be shy ....Public speaking is like a muscle, the more you practice, the more you will get better at it. Practice as much as possible, you will adjust things as you go.

What i find important is to really speak from the heart, it touches people, they will listen more, understand more, follow more.

That's not fair @Bila everything sound better in French.

James,

Toastmaster is great; practice practice practice - no easy way out of this.

Video tape yourself in front of a mirror with a script, then as you get more comfortable start to improvise. Have other people critique you, get the uncomfortable part out of the way. Over prepare, this will remove some of the anxiety of dead air or fumbling when speaking.

I lot of the people who do well in front of crowds are actually the more shy/nervous types. They harness the power of "nervous energy" - fear is a very strong emotion and can be used to your advantage. I know a lot of confidant speakers who really suck at public speaking. They tend to be so relaxed and confident they get caught up in hearing the sound of their own voice the forget about what the audience wants or needs to hear.

 

[Longinus]

Funny story:

One meeting I was Toastmaster of the evening. TME is the person who announces all the speeches and gives introductions to all speakers and evaluators etc. Sometimes we work with themes. Before the meeting I announced that a famous Dutch guru "Anton Robijns" was coming especially for that evening. I pimped the invitation with guru-quotes and stuff that was completely over the top. My real name is Anton, so I thought everybody understood it was kinda joke/parody.

But the venue was overcrowded with people who were really coming for that Dutch guru Anton Robijns Even there was no extra promotion made, people who were never seen before were just showing up!

I may have dissapointed them by parodying some famous gurus, but it's maybe also a good sign that people need such gurus in my country

 

[LeftBench]

That's not fair @Bila everything sound better in French.

James,

Toastmaster is great; practice practice practice - no easy way out of this.

Video tape yourself in front of a mirror with a script, then as you get more comfortable start to improvise. Have other people critique you, get the uncomfortable part out of the way. Over prepare, this will remove some of the anxiety of dead air or fumbling when speaking.

I lot of the people who do well in front of crowds are actually the more shy/nervous types. They harness the power of "nervous energy" - fear is a very strong emotion and can be used to your advantage. I know a lot of confidant speakers who really suck at public speaking. They tend to be so relaxed and confident they get caught up in hearing the sound of their own voice the forget about what the audience wants or needs to hear.

Thanks for this great advice!!!

 

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[LeftBench]

Funny story:

One meeting I was Toastmaster of the evening. TME is the person who announces all the speeches and gives introductions to all speakers and evaluators etc. Sometimes we work with themes. Before the meeting I announced that a famous Dutch guru "Anton Robijns" was coming especially for that evening. I pimped the invitation with guru-quotes and stuff that was completely over the top. My real name is Anton, so I thought everybody understood it was kinda joke/parody.

But the venue was overcrowded with people who were really coming for that Dutch guru Anton Robijns Even there was no extra promotion made, people who were never seen before were just showing up!

I may have dissapointed them by parodying some famous gurus, but it's maybe also a good sign that people need such gurus in my country

LOL, great story!!

 

[masaldana2]

im starting one tomorrow and i might do improv classes

 

[P3HSB]

they get caught up in hearing the sound of their own voice the forget about what the audience wants or needs to hear.

I have a really annoying voice lol. I get super self conscious about it and it causes so much anxiety

 

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[Longinus]

I have a really annoying voice lol. I get super self conscious about it and it causes so much anxiety

You might be the only person who thinks that, and even then, it's what you have to say what matters. I met several people who say the same, and all of them are making it up, causing anxiety for nothing. Besides, you can train your voice. It's just a muscle.

 

[P3HSB]

You might be the only person who thinks that, and even then, it's what you have to say what matters. I met several people who say the same, and all of them are making it up, causing anxiety for nothing. Besides, you can train your voice. It's just a muscle.

Back in high school I had several people tell me to shut up because I had an annoying voice. Some of them were my closes friends too. I didn't believe them at first, then I asked my sibling and they said I did. I never really did anything about it till I was in college. When I hit rock bottom and figured I had to improve myself; one thing I knew I had to work on was my voice. I started recording myself only to realize how bad I really was. I started reading and watching videos on how to "open up the voice". I practice and practice but even till this day, it is still bad, but I am still working on it. The only way for me to deal with this right now is to not think about it, but sometimes the thought just creeps in

 

[Mattie]

Are you an introvert? It might be useful to get over fears, anxiety, and worrying about what people think.

 

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[LeftBench]

Are you an introvert? It might be useful to get over fears, anxiety, and worrying about what people think.

I definitely have some introvert in me when it comes to worrying about what people think. I don't think I'm a complete introvert though, but I definitely have things I need to work on.

 

[LeftBench]

Hi James,
As others have already mentioned Toastmasters is a great place to start. Once you've mastered all that you can get out of Toastmasters and really want to take your skills to the next level to do more speaking engagements, feel free to reach out, I do public speaking coaching. For more information, my website is www.unleashyourpresence.com. Best of luck!

Thanks for the info. Nice site, btw. I signed up for the news and updates.

 

[AndrewNC]

tools or resources

Tools and resources?!

No. Go out and do it.

Toastmasters...anywhere you get experience public speaking.

Just do it. The best mindset shifts come after you have reference experiences of taking action...and realizing you won't die when you do it enough.

I dare you to screw up.
I dare you to choke on your words.
I dare you to get nervous speaking in front of people.

Mess up. Talk about something embarrassing, go unprepared, screw up. Hope people laugh at you.

Because only when this happens, you will realize that it's not really a big deal, all this fear was only some thoughts that floated into your head, and that you'll still be alive after you do it.

I used to be scared to record my YouTube videos in front of other people. I would hike, bike, or drive to places where nobody was around to set up my tripod just to hope that nobody would find me.

Then I hiked to the top of devil's bridge in Sedona, AZ with three...er two and a half... other members of this forum . And we recorded right on one of the major tourist hiking destinations there. At least 30 people were behind the camera when I was recording.

I was nervous recording in front of people for the first time, I couldn't think of my words.

Then I just did it.

...and about 20 seconds into it, some words just spilled out of my mouth which was not only me saying the 'wrong thing'..it was perhaps the most embarrassing thing I could have said at the time. 100x "worse" than my worst fear from public speaking.

People stopped their conversations, turned their heads, and everyone was laughing at what I just said...including myself.

Eventually the people went on with their days, I recorded one of my best videos to that point, and now i'm not scared to record in front of other people at all any more.

The reason? I said something 100x worse than my worst fear..and I still lived. So after that, the old 'hard stuff' is now easy.

And actually, when I came back to Phoenix, a few weeks later, I ran into one of the people who heard me mess up....and they forgot who I was. Didn't even recognize me. She was too busy thinking about all those BS thoughts in her own head to even notice the fears and negative self-talk that other people go through.

Like Reebok....Just do it.

 

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[ZCP]

Tell 'em what you are going to say. Tell 'em. Tell 'em what you said.

+1 for toastmasters.

Volunteer for offices, coaching kids, church events, etc. where you HAVE to speak / email / communicate with people. Any experience is great experience.

 

[Mattie]

I definitely have some introvert in me when it comes to worrying about what people think. I don't think I'm a complete introvert though, but I definitely have things I need to work on.

This plays a major factor. And it is pushing yourself to reach beyond the horizon and get out of the introvert comfort zone.

 

[LeftBench]

Tools and resources?!

No. Go out and do it.

Toastmasters...anywhere you get experience public speaking.

Just do it. The best mindset shifts come after you have reference experiences of taking action...and realizing you won't die when you do it enough.

I dare you to screw up.
I dare you to choke on your words.
I dare you to get nervous speaking in front of people.

Mess up. Talk about something embarrassing, go unprepared, screw up. Hope people laugh at you.

Because only when this happens, you will realize that it's not really a big deal, all this fear was only some thoughts that floated into your head, and that you'll still be alive after you do it.

I used to be scared to record my YouTube videos in front of other people. I would hike, bike, or drive to places where nobody was around to set up my tripod just to hope that nobody would find me.

Then I hiked to the top of devil's bridge in Sedona, AZ with three...er two and a half... other members of this forum . And we recorded right on one of the major tourist hiking destinations there. At least 30 people were behind the camera when I was recording.

I was nervous recording in front of people for the first time, I couldn't think of my words.

Then I just did it.

...and about 20 seconds into it, some words just spilled out of my mouth which was not only me saying the 'wrong thing'..it was perhaps the most embarrassing thing I could have said at the time. 100x "worse" than my worst fear from public speaking.

People stopped their conversations, turned their heads, and everyone was laughing at what I just said...including myself.

Eventually the people went on with their days, I recorded one of my best videos to that point, and now i'm not scared to record in front of other people at all any more.

The reason? I said something 100x worse than my worst fear..and I still lived. So after that, the old 'hard stuff' is now easy.

And actually, when I came back to Phoenix, a few weeks later, I ran into one of the people who heard me mess up....and they forgot who I was. Didn't even recognize me. She was too busy thinking about all those BS thoughts in her own head to even notice the fears and negative self-talk that other people go through.

Like Reebok....Just do it.

Thanks for this post. I just need to go and do it!!!!!

My slow lane job requires me to occasionally testify in court. The first few times I had to do it I was so nervous it was ridiculous. Beat red, sweating, shaking, etc. It wasn't until I sat in on a court session and watched it from beginning to end that I realized it's no big deal. People are more worried about themselves than anything else. It was one big joke really. Now when I testify I get up there and kill it. Lawyers got nothing on me.

Your story about taking the video in public reminded me of that. I need to carry these things over into my public speaking. Thanks for the help.


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[mozvideo]

I always start with carrying out to friends or co-workers whenever I have a chance to speak publicly. It's much easier, as you know these people and you're used to them, you already know what they think of you
It's all about practice and seeing your mistakes before you swim in the open.

 

[DeletedUser394]

let us know when you go to toastmasters.

btw, when you're arresting some douchebag you can practice your speeches on him/her haha.