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- Joined
- May 10, 2019
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At giving up.
Introduction
Hello, my name is Robin. And I am the world greatest at giving up. Here's a little bit of my story. It was 2009, the day I encountered World of Warcraft both the greatest gift and nightmare for me at that time. I was always the odd duckling at school, the children laughed at me, the teachers laughed at me and even my family. I felt left out so I decided to enter a virtual world. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I quit school, I broke up with my girlfriend and dedicated my life to World of Warcraft. 18 hours everyday 7 days a week. I was tired of being bullied, I wanted to get away from it and that was my escape. No sleep, no contact with my family as my mother was on the edge of suicide, and my siblings were never there. Only one friend, but he was addicted to the game too. No where to go, no one to talk to but ourselves. All we did was play and figure out a way how we could avoid real life as much as possible and just play. Let's forward to 2014. I was still doing the same thing every. single. day. I started ''seeing things'' a voice in my head saying things like ''if you don't clap your hands twice your mother will die today'', I ignored those voices but they got worse everyday. I thought I was insane but I knew it wasn't until this voice told me to take my life. It was a winter night late 2014 and my mother was at work. She'd usually come home at 23:00. I knew this, and I was tired of living. What's the point of living anyway, right? No one is every nice to me, people bullied me anywhere I would go to. I wanted to talk to teachers but they made fun of me for talking about electric cars all the time. I mean electric cars? Who would even think that would be an idea right? I talked about changing the school system, and the teachers definitely didn't appreciate that. I wanted things bigger and better. I was made fun of for those reasons. And it never stopped. Anyway, back to my mother. Those voice had been telling me to kill myself for over a year now. So I decided to do it. There was no reason for me existing anymore. It was 20:30, cold and dark. I decided to go to a place where no one ever goes and the trains usually drive so fast it would definitely take my life. While I was writing my farewell letter to my mother, I heard that voice cheering for my death constantly while writing this letter. The second I opened the door my mother was in front of it. She left work early due to a lack of customers. First thing I started crying relentlessly. I told her everything, everything on my heart and she found doctors for me. Slowly but surely I got better. I read the book ''the 7 habits of highly effective people'' . This changed my life. I have a girlfriend now, as a matter of fact we've been living together for a good two years now. I got accepted into a university starting next August after doing really well in a ''capability test'' which you can take in The Netherlands if you're 21 or older. However this is not enough for me, which is why I am here.
Expectation
I am not here to seek pity, or attention. I'm genuinely here to make something of myself, and I hope I can add my 2 cents and pick your brains.
There's only one problem. Every time I start something I give up between 2 and 4 weeks. I can't stick to anything. I have tried for years to do something about it. I watch those motivational videos and they tell me to ''just do it''. Which isn't as easy as it seems.
So my question to you is:
How do you stay disciplined? How do I build incredible self-control? How can I get my lazy a$$ to direct myself into becoming a man. In a perfect world, a successful man.
I tried any thing you can find in any motivational video. It just didn't work for me. I switch to a point where I do well for 1 month and then boom, everything fades. I stop caring and give up. Please help me become who I want to be. To help me become the best version of myself.
Thank you for those who took their time to read my introduction.
Robin
Introduction
Hello, my name is Robin. And I am the world greatest at giving up. Here's a little bit of my story. It was 2009, the day I encountered World of Warcraft both the greatest gift and nightmare for me at that time. I was always the odd duckling at school, the children laughed at me, the teachers laughed at me and even my family. I felt left out so I decided to enter a virtual world. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I quit school, I broke up with my girlfriend and dedicated my life to World of Warcraft. 18 hours everyday 7 days a week. I was tired of being bullied, I wanted to get away from it and that was my escape. No sleep, no contact with my family as my mother was on the edge of suicide, and my siblings were never there. Only one friend, but he was addicted to the game too. No where to go, no one to talk to but ourselves. All we did was play and figure out a way how we could avoid real life as much as possible and just play. Let's forward to 2014. I was still doing the same thing every. single. day. I started ''seeing things'' a voice in my head saying things like ''if you don't clap your hands twice your mother will die today'', I ignored those voices but they got worse everyday. I thought I was insane but I knew it wasn't until this voice told me to take my life. It was a winter night late 2014 and my mother was at work. She'd usually come home at 23:00. I knew this, and I was tired of living. What's the point of living anyway, right? No one is every nice to me, people bullied me anywhere I would go to. I wanted to talk to teachers but they made fun of me for talking about electric cars all the time. I mean electric cars? Who would even think that would be an idea right? I talked about changing the school system, and the teachers definitely didn't appreciate that. I wanted things bigger and better. I was made fun of for those reasons. And it never stopped. Anyway, back to my mother. Those voice had been telling me to kill myself for over a year now. So I decided to do it. There was no reason for me existing anymore. It was 20:30, cold and dark. I decided to go to a place where no one ever goes and the trains usually drive so fast it would definitely take my life. While I was writing my farewell letter to my mother, I heard that voice cheering for my death constantly while writing this letter. The second I opened the door my mother was in front of it. She left work early due to a lack of customers. First thing I started crying relentlessly. I told her everything, everything on my heart and she found doctors for me. Slowly but surely I got better. I read the book ''the 7 habits of highly effective people'' . This changed my life. I have a girlfriend now, as a matter of fact we've been living together for a good two years now. I got accepted into a university starting next August after doing really well in a ''capability test'' which you can take in The Netherlands if you're 21 or older. However this is not enough for me, which is why I am here.
Expectation
I am not here to seek pity, or attention. I'm genuinely here to make something of myself, and I hope I can add my 2 cents and pick your brains.
There's only one problem. Every time I start something I give up between 2 and 4 weeks. I can't stick to anything. I have tried for years to do something about it. I watch those motivational videos and they tell me to ''just do it''. Which isn't as easy as it seems.
So my question to you is:
How do you stay disciplined? How do I build incredible self-control? How can I get my lazy a$$ to direct myself into becoming a man. In a perfect world, a successful man.
I tried any thing you can find in any motivational video. It just didn't work for me. I switch to a point where I do well for 1 month and then boom, everything fades. I stop caring and give up. Please help me become who I want to be. To help me become the best version of myself.
Thank you for those who took their time to read my introduction.
Robin
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