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INTRO I'm the world greatest

Discussion in 'Forum Introductions (Who are you!?)' started by Code, May 10, 2019.

  1. Code
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    Code New Contributor

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    At giving up.

    Introduction
    Hello, my name is Robin. And I am the world greatest at giving up. Here's a little bit of my story. It was 2009, the day I encountered World of Warcraft both the greatest gift and nightmare for me at that time. I was always the odd duckling at school, the children laughed at me, the teachers laughed at me and even my family. I felt left out so I decided to enter a virtual world. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I quit school, I broke up with my girlfriend and dedicated my life to World of Warcraft. 18 hours everyday 7 days a week. I was tired of being bullied, I wanted to get away from it and that was my escape. No sleep, no contact with my family as my mother was on the edge of suicide, and my siblings were never there. Only one friend, but he was addicted to the game too. No where to go, no one to talk to but ourselves. All we did was play and figure out a way how we could avoid real life as much as possible and just play. Let's forward to 2014. I was still doing the same thing every. single. day. I started ''seeing things'' a voice in my head saying things like ''if you don't clap your hands twice your mother will die today'', I ignored those voices but they got worse everyday. I thought I was insane but I knew it wasn't until this voice told me to take my life. It was a winter night late 2014 and my mother was at work. She'd usually come home at 23:00. I knew this, and I was tired of living. What's the point of living anyway, right? No one is every nice to me, people bullied me anywhere I would go to. I wanted to talk to teachers but they made fun of me for talking about electric cars all the time. I mean electric cars? Who would even think that would be an idea right? I talked about changing the school system, and the teachers definitely didn't appreciate that. I wanted things bigger and better. I was made fun of for those reasons. And it never stopped. Anyway, back to my mother. Those voice had been telling me to kill myself for over a year now. So I decided to do it. There was no reason for me existing anymore. It was 20:30, cold and dark. I decided to go to a place where no one ever goes and the trains usually drive so fast it would definitely take my life. While I was writing my farewell letter to my mother, I heard that voice cheering for my death constantly while writing this letter. The second I opened the door my mother was in front of it. She left work early due to a lack of customers. First thing I started crying relentlessly. I told her everything, everything on my heart and she found doctors for me. Slowly but surely I got better. I read the book ''the 7 habits of highly effective people'' . This changed my life. I have a girlfriend now, as a matter of fact we've been living together for a good two years now. I got accepted into a university starting next August after doing really well in a ''capability test'' which you can take in The Netherlands if you're 21 or older. However this is not enough for me, which is why I am here.

    Expectation
    I am not here to seek pity, or attention. I'm genuinely here to make something of myself, and I hope I can add my 2 cents and pick your brains.

    There's only one problem. Every time I start something I give up between 2 and 4 weeks. I can't stick to anything. I have tried for years to do something about it. I watch those motivational videos and they tell me to ''just do it''. Which isn't as easy as it seems.

    So my question to you is:
    How do you stay disciplined? How do I build incredible self-control? How can I get my lazy a$$ to direct myself into becoming a man. In a perfect world, a successful man.

    I tried any thing you can find in any motivational video. It just didn't work for me. I switch to a point where I do well for 1 month and then boom, everything fades. I stop caring and give up. Please help me become who I want to be. To help me become the best version of myself.

    Thank you for those who took their time to read my introduction.



    Robin
     
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  2. sigma1119
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    sigma1119 New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Hi Robin,

    Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. I think it takes a lot of courage to share such deep and personal life events and I'm happy hear to that your life has taken a turn in a more positive direction.

    I'm currently struggling with, and always have struggled with, entrepreneurial motivation. It was incredibly difficult for me to concentrate on when I was a full time employee and was exhausted after work. All I wanted to do was relax. After going out on my own it is still incredibly difficult for me to find motivation at times. Many will tell you to find your "why". I have found this only partially motivating. Having a "why" does help me, but I still struggle to do the tings that I don't want to do or that seem difficult.

    Thus far, for me, the most effective motivation has been accountability to others. Having others to share your goals with and that will follow up with you on progress helps me. But what helps me more is bring directly accountable to the person or people that I'm providing value to. If you are early on in an idea and you don't have a direct feedback loop that can be tough.

    My 2 cents. Best of luck and keep pushing.
     
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  3. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    Welcome to the forum. Glad to hear you fought thru the tough times. L

    Read Unscripted, it explains WHY you can't stick to anything -- the answer involves purpose and feedback loops.
     
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  4. Mattie
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    First recommendation I would give you is go get a physical from the doctor to rule out any biological issues you may not be aware of.
    Second make an appointment with a licensed therapist and get evaluated whether you need some kind of medication to help you.
    Third I would make a plan every day to go outside and join a recreational activity within your community or sports. When you're moving around it helps you naturally feel better with anxiety and depression.
    It also involves team effort, where you work together as a team, gives your support.
    You're an intelligent individual, and you can't expect the average person to understand the language of an innovator, creative, and genius. Find others like yourself who are involved with some kind of project.
    You mentioned Electric Cars. Is there some kind of Career Center, Training, around your area which works with electronic devices, robotics, building technology for cars. Doesn't necessarily have to be a college or university, but sometimes some places have training or tech centers.

    What kind of intellectual social groups are in your community. I'm sure there out there. I know by experience from my son with Robotics he met all kinds of people all over the state who were into building robots and connected online and offline.

    Quitting and giving up isn't an option. It's recognizing you already been down that road right. You've quit and you've given up. You made an emotional pattern and behavior pattern in creating the reality every day of giving up on yourself and quitting.

    You are not in the school system anymore right. Which eliminates those people from your life. There no longer in your life. Which the trauma has ended there with those people.

    in 2019...you're right here right now. This is where you make a deliberate choice to do something different than what you've done before. You know Quitting and Giving up doesn't bring you the outcome you desire. It gives you failure right. Quitting and Giving up equals failure. What if you decide to to take one day at a time an succeed one day at a time at something. Take small steps. Focus one thing at a time.

    What can you accomplish today and be successful at all. And tomorrow you know that you succeeded at that one goal yesterday. Let's do it again. the Third day you know you succeeded for three days in a row.

    It takes 21 days to form a new habit. Every time you say I want to give up and quit, you use self-talk and say, "No, if I quit and give up." it means I fail. If I keep going, I succeed." Once you do this every day for a month, it gets easier and easier until it becomes natural.

    Value your intelligence, it' s your most valuable asset. It's what helps you succeed, and probably most people don't have the intelligence to create something you may have the ability to create.

    When you hear voices, "Tell the voice thank your for suggestions. I will take it into consideration. Now I will take my own advice and do something more positive and productive with my life which creates success and the reality I want to choose."

    Don't focus on the voice. Divert your attention to something in the physical. This is sometimes just from spending to much time alone, thinking too much, and not using your creativity. If you write some fiction, poetry, or non-fiction every day, this will help you structure your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Words are your thoughts. Words become your actions.

    Start using your intelligence. Research, read, do your own projects, and the more you use your brain, the better you are at harnessing your intelligence in a positive way.

    If you find out something different from the physician or therapist, they can point to what needs to be done biologically.
     
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  5. Johnny boy
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    Changing reality requires a process. Something must happen for reality to change.

    We think the same thing for our mentality. That there must be some list of "steps" to follow and then our mentality will change. We try and try and become frustrated because our minds won't change, despite how hard we "try".

    What people do not realize is that the mind is the instrument of change, not the result. To be disciplined, be disciplined. To stick to something, stick to it. To feel calmness, be calm. It is easier to change our minds than reality, not harder. At any moment I am anything I want to be. I'm not what you think of me. Or what other people think of me. My life isn't what anyone else thinks. It's what I think. It only becomes real in the world after it is real in my mind.

    People say they struggle with "anxiety", or "stress", or any other randomly selected buzzword that describes their lack of control and responsibility over their own thoughts. They talk about stress and anxiety like they are are environmental and actually real. Like they are victims of something attacking them.

    Everything in our minds is created by us. It is all made up and we are always in control. Lack of control allows us the laziness of being a victim. The same is true for people who dream of more for their life but feel victimized by their own lack of discipline and focus. It's just an easy way for you to not be disciplined and focused. You simply do not want to get up early. You do not want to stay focused on a single project. And when you do what you want, you protect your ego by saying "Argh...it's my damn lack of discipline again...I gotta fix that. I'll watch another youtube video. I'm trying!" If you had to confront the fact that you could fix your "problem" with the snap of your fingers, it would force you to make an uncomfortable choice between your dreams and your laziness. It will bring you an uncomfortable bit of clarity that will start popping up everywhere else. Basically, you'll start calling yourself out on your own bullshit. That's the biggest difference between winners and losers; the uncomfortable clarity that hurts people who would prefer to be losers without admitting it. Winners know it's a simple game, but it requires honesty.

    You have tried everything but doing what it is you wish to do.

    If I were you, I would go someplace and be very alone. And I would have a long talk with myself with what I want out of life, who I was, and what I'm doing everything for. And I would start writing out my thoughts and what my plan was. And then I'd think back to the happiest times in my life and ask why, and do the same for the worst times too. I would spend a whole day away from other people and just talking with myself about these things. Clarity is so important. It's the difference between your brain feeling like a beautiful, modern room compared to a moldy hoarder's house.
     
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  6. Timmy C
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    Timmy C I Will Not Stop! Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    This gentleman needs an FTE pronto.
     
  7. Mattie
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    I have to argue with this from experience working as a Nurse Aide. Fortunately, there are brain injuries, different diseases of the brain, which can create things you can't control.
    There are also Mental Disorders which are much more complicated than just giving them Cognitive Therapy. While some people may be able to move through certain types of Depression, Anxiety, and Stress, there are some people who cannot no matter how much treatment they are given. This is a person by person basis.
     
  8. GoodluckChuck
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    GoodluckChuck Grateful Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Hey Robin. Great to have you here.

    What exactly have you been giving up on?

    I ask because maybe it's not always bad to give up on things. Maybe there's a good reason you do what you do?

    You get bored?
    It's not how you thought it would be?
    It's harder than expected?
    Not seeing any results?

    Part of becoming successful is embracing the failures and learning from them. Failing is good because it teaches you what doesn't work.

    Keep trying man. That's the main thing. Eventually you'll find some success and the positive feedback loop will kick in..

    It sounds like you have improved your life tremendously so keep at it! It will continue to get better as long as you keep trying to make it so.
     
  9. Code
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    Code New Contributor

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    First, I really want to take a second to thank you for genuinely reading my thread. I was really anxious writing about my past at first but I figured that if I don't talk about it I will never get myself to change for the better. I will take this advice to heart and do everything you mentioned. I live in Rotterdam (The Netherlands) so there should be a bunch of things I could apply to. And I will. I hope this works out.
    You're right, I think my problem is that I tell myself ''Tomorrow I will be Tony Robbins 2.0 and everything will be perfect. Deep down inside I know it is a lie, so nothing ever happens.

    What can you accomplish today and be successful at all. And tomorrow you know that you succeeded at that one goal yesterday. Let's do it again. the Third day you know you succeeded for three days in a row.
    Luckily the voices slowly faded once I started socializing again. It took a while but I feel that my depression has faded. This is a big help. I did what you mentioned before but it hasn't help yet. I rinse and repeat until I explode and quit everything I did.


    Thank you so much for taking your personal time to suggest me the ideas that you have. I will write them down and start applying today!
     
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  10. Code
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    Hello, first and foremost thank you so much for taking your personal time to write this to me. I appreciate it more than you'd imagine. I heard Joe Dispenza say exactly this and it makes sense. Maybe I should try to form those ideas into a habit until it works out. Thank you for this. I will take this to heart and work on it. You're absolutely right. I experimented with meditation and I'm a lot less agressive than I used to be when someone e.g. insulted me. I have a very stoic approach now and it made me a much happier person.
    It sounds very generic but I wan't to be the best version of myself that I can be. I will train my brain to get the right mindset.

    Thank you for taking your time to read my story, I really appreciate and value it. I hope this will help me get trough where I want to be.
     
  11. Code
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    Hi GoodluckChuck, thank you for taking your time to write to me and reading my story. It genuinely means a lot to me. I have been giving up on all sort of things. I quit school 2 times, I quit learning Korean (The native language of my girlfriend) at least 10 times, I quit working out a good 20 times, I quit reading books a hundred times, I quit so many things I can't even keep count of it.

    I usually try to develop really good habits and then boom, one day everything changes. I just can not focus anymore. Every thing I read are just words, exercising becomes to mentally frustrating, learning how to program becomes to tedious and so on. Ironically enough, the exact same desires come back 2 to 4 weeks later and I start all over again. The gab is usually too big for me to start where I ended so I start over from the beginning and never get anywhere.

    Thank you for heads up, and yes I have come a long way. We've had major improvements but I'm not even at 1% of where I want to be. Thank you for the motivating words. I will keep trying.
     
  12. Code
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    Code New Contributor

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    Hi Timmy, I would like to know what that is. Can I get it in The Netherlands? If it helps me get back on my feet I will get it whatever it takes.

    Thank you for reading my introduction :)
     
  13. Mattie
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    You're welcome. Since you're in the Netherlands why don't you take advantage of the Nordic Walking I see people doing. How about getting your bike out and riding down some of the bike lanes on the road. There's horse back riding I see. Equine Therapy works well, maybe even visit one of the Horse Ranches. I love walking by them. I know you're culture is quite hip on eating healthy, being physically fit, and the doctors I've had so far seem quite nice.

    I'm from Michigan so I'm used to the Great Out Doors. You can go on the train up north to where the high tides and low tides are. I want to see that. You have earthing places here that are quite cool. I do laugh at the fish healing pool that cleanse your toes.

    I'm more on the border of Germany, Belgium, and the Netherlands, but I believe it's about finding something creative to do. And I know sometimes you just have explore what's available. You have many options with surrounding cultures. You're not stuck in one place. Expand your horizons, explore, where's the life in your culture?

    I see they have Studio Apartments you can probably afford. And if you're not happy where you are explore options. Sometimes I know you all like to cross the boarder because it is a different environment. Sometimes you just need a different out look on life and different environment.

    You always have choices. Options. Opportunities. There's an ocean of people in the world. Some of them hate you and some of them love you. I'll tell you that much. I've been bullied myself, but I understand to move on to the people who celebrate me and leave behind the people who tolerate me.

    Are you an artist, musician, writer, and the Netherlands seems to be a leader in innovators at the moment as I see for environmental reasons. You're in the right place as far as that's concerned. You have some awesome Entrepreneurs in the lead right now. Go find out where there hanging out at.
     
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  14. Kennypaul
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    Kennypaul Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Reading TMF and Unscripted will go a long way for you.It gives a "sense of direction" in an unconventional way.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
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  15. LinorCG
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    LinorCG Business Building Warrior Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Welcome to the forum!

    Glad you shared your story...feedback given by MJ is spot on! Good luck on your journey and keep pushing forward my friend.

     
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  16. GoodluckChuck
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    GoodluckChuck Grateful Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    You don't truly fail until you've given up. The fact that you have kept trying over and over is a sign of perseverance.

    Keep trying and don't give up and you will succeed in time.
     
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  17. lowtek
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    lowtek Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Thanks for sharing your story, and I'm really glad you got the help you need. I look forward to your success.
     
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  18. VIDAA
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    Buddy some of the articles on this blog might be of some help!
    Calm Down Mind
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2019 at 4:50 PM
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  19. Roli
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    Roli Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I am reading The Chimp Paradox at the moment, it is proving extremely helpful in the motivation department.

    Glad to hear things are looking up, keep going and keep improving.
     
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  20. Code
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    Hey guys, here with a small update. A few days before I posted this thread I decided to make incredibly tiny habits into big habits. I scheduled my goals, and wrote everything down I want to achieve.

    I made the habits so simple that even I would do it. An example of my habits are deducted into instead of running 1 hour a day, my first goal is to wear running clothes and run around the block. It triggered me to run a larger distance now that I'm already there anyway. I feel much better now, and you guys helped me motivate myself to do so, thanks for that!

    Another thing is that I cut down on sugar. Instead of saying ''I will quit sodas forever'' I now say, I can no longer drink sodas at home. This is easy because I just stopped buying sodas at home. Slowly but surely I notice myself unconsciously buying other drinks than sodas even outside my house.

    Thank you all for the insight, I will read all the recommended books too :) If there's anything else you guys like to add, I'd love to hear.
     
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  21. Roli
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    Roli Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I'm very glad to hear this, you are doing exactly the right thing, keep it up and always make sure you are checking that you are not engaging in negative self-thoughts. When you walk down the street next, pretend you are a famous celebrity, walk down the middle of the pavement, smile and greet people you meet.

    You will see that your new outward projection will bring with it a new type of confidence and will make people want to talk and be around you.

    Most of all, if you ever feel down again, make sure you talk to someone.

    I recently lost a friend to suicide and I wish she would have phoned me...
     
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