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INTRO I'm married and have a 1yr old son. And I'm not even 20 yet! Looking for advice!

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Nelon154

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Jul 20, 2021
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Hello,

My name is Nelson Brito. I'm new to the forum and I'm looking for some hard advice. This is going to be kinda a long post so I apologize in advance.

A little about me, I'm a 19 year old father to a one year old and I'm also married. I live in New York state and I'm working as an accountant for 19 bucks an hour. My wife is a dental assistant for 17 bucks an hour. We have tons of bills including a daycare payment larger than our rent.

I have an associate's degree in business administration that my dad had to put a lean on our house to pay for so I would not have debt (thanks dad!). I thought that I would be happy being an accountant but I actually hate it.

I read MJ's book the millionaire fast lane and I fell in love with the dream life that MJ lives everyday.

The challenges I currently face that I'd like advice on:

currently,

#1:

I have no direction. I have no idea what kind of value I'd like to provide to the world nor how to be my own dictator of direction. I feel like I'm always waiting for the next order instead of taking the wheel.

I am currently teaching myself how to code java because when I get my idea that's the language best suited due to the range of devices it can be deployed onto.

#2:

My job is draining the life out of me and stressing me out. I come home only to find ten thousand things need to be done. I want to do more at night and so I was wondering if you all knew ways to help me stay focused and not crazy tired besides the obvious caffeinated beverages which seem to have no effect on me.

#3:

I have very strong reasons for why I need to start creating a fast lane process. However I find I lack passion. I've been burned by bad business ideas. I have spent money trying to learn dead end skills.

#4:

I know that I come off as selfish for why I need a fast lane process. It's a challenge for me to think otherwise because I want a life for my family that the average only dream of. I'm tired of missing him say new words or missing out on precious moments together. However I am aware that the only way I can create that life is if regular consumers find me valuable.

So, how can I change my mindset to help me find the passion I need to want to help others rather than myself?

#5:

Has anyone else here ever been in a similar situation to me? Man, I really REALLY don't want to be rich old. I also really feel like I will burn out driving the slow lane.

Any advice and/or criticism is accepted. I thank you in advance for taking the time to read and/or respond.
 

Jon L

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Hello,

My name is Nelson Brito. I'm new to the forum and I'm looking for some hard advice. This is going to be kinda a long post so I apologize in advance.

Your post is concise, actually. Good job
A little about me, I'm a 19 year old father to a one year old and I'm also married. I live in New York state and I'm working as an accountant for 19 bucks an hour. My wife is a dental assistant for 17 bucks an hour. We have tons of bills including a daycare payment larger than our rent.

I have an associate's degree in business administration that my dad had to put a lean on our house to pay for so I would not have debt (thanks dad!). I thought that I would be happy being an accountant but I actually hate it.

I read MJ's book the millionaire fast lane and I fell in love with the dream life that MJ lives everyday.

The challenges I currently face that I'd like advice on:

currently,

#1:

I have no direction. I have no idea what kind of value I'd like to provide to the world nor how to be my own dictator of direction. I feel like I'm always waiting for the next order instead of taking the wheel.

I am currently teaching myself how to code java because when I get my idea that's the language best suited due to the range of devices it can be deployed onto.

While its good to learn a new skill, figure out fairly quickly if its something you're going to use. Time is life's most valuable commodity, and I say this because I have spent too much time in my life doing things I didn't end up using.

#2:

My job is draining the life out of me and stressing me out. I come home only to find ten thousand things need to be done. I want to do more at night and so I was wondering if you all knew ways to help me stay focused and not crazy tired besides the obvious caffeinated beverages which seem to have no effect on me.

Pick and choose the things you will work on at home. You do not have to have a perfectly organized house, for example. As long as there are no bugs attracted to your mess, you're doing well. Use the extra time you save to put towards something long-term.

#3:

I have very strong reasons for why I need to start creating a fast lane process. However I find I lack passion. I've been burned by bad business ideas. I have spent money trying to learn dead end skills.

See my previous response. Maybe try focusing on solving a problem for someone? You will pick up skills along the way.


#4:

I know that I come off as selfish for why I need a fast lane process. It's a challenge for me to think otherwise because I want a life for my family that the average only dream of. I'm tired of missing him say new words or missing out on precious moments together. However I am aware that the only way I can create that life is if regular consumers find me valuable.

So, how can I change my mindset to help me find the passion I need to want to help others rather than myself?

This is not an either/or thing. You help other people by helping yourself. Do both.

#5:

Has anyone else here ever been in a similar situation to me? Man, I really REALLY don't want to be rich old. I also really feel like I will burn out driving the slow lane.

Any advice and/or criticism is accepted. I thank you in advance for taking the time to read and/or respond.

Plenty of people have been in your situation and made themselves a success. Far more, though, have gone backwards. Those that made it somehow figured out how to put their particular set of skills to use in a way that benefited a lot of people. Don't try copying others success. Work hard on adding so much value to other people's lives that they'll gladly pay you money for your efforts.
 

Nelon154

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 20, 2021
12
31
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Your post is concise, actually. Good job


While its good to learn a new skill, figure out fairly quickly if its something you're going to use. Time is life's most valuable commodity, and I say this because I have spent too much time in my life doing things I didn't end up using.



Pick and choose the things you will work on at home. You do not have to have a perfectly organized house, for example. As long as there are no bugs attracted to your mess, you're doing well. Use the extra time you save to put towards something long-term.



See my previous response. Maybe try focusing on solving a problem for someone? You will pick up skills along the way.




This is not an either/or thing. You help other people by helping yourself. Do both.



Plenty of people have been in your situation and made themselves a success. Far more, though, have gone backwards. Those that made it somehow figured out how to put their particular set of skills to use in a way that benefited a lot of people. Don't try copying others success. Work hard on adding so much value to other people's lives that they'll gladly pay you money for your efforts.
Thank you for the advice Jon! I am filled with gratitude.
 

SteveO

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We started on similar paths. I was married and had my first child at 19.

My wife did not work though. I made minimum wage as a landscaper, mechanic, construction, etc...

I worked many long and physically taxing days. Overtime was optional but without overtime pay. It was simply work or don't. Sometimes from 6 am until 9 pm. There were no paid days off. Holidays were without pay unless you chose to work them at straight pay.

It was a tough start. I don't recall complaining though. I moved out of my house at the age of 16 (after getting kicked out of school). Wasn't exactly self sufficient at first but I did work. Either slept in my car or crashed on people's couches or floors.

I was sooooo happy when I got my first apartment only to lose it after 2 months. I had a job but lost my roommate and could not pay. I worked out a deal with the landlord to pay what I owed.

Still happy though. I worked my way up through different jobs and began making more money. Bought a house, got divorced, and kept the 2 kids. Now I was working full time on a job 30 miles away and had to get my children to school and daycare in time to get to work. Then get off work in time to pick the kids up before the centers closed.

I remember dating a girl once and she came over to my place. The kids were cranky and tired. They were fussing and crying about something. My date said "you poor guy" and then left. No loss on my part but dating was tough.

With the added cost of childcare, I could not pay all my bills. Almost lost my house to foreclosure. Ended up selling it and moving into an apartment closer to work.

Very stressed but still happy.

I spent all my time either working or coaching my kids in sports. Still did not have money but loved my life.

I eventually started working on my plans to escape work after marrying again. This freed up some of my time. Every weekend and late nights after work.

It was all the stress, anxiety, lack of freedom and money that motivated me. I did succeed and was able to quit my job after 3 a$$ busting years.

Nothing was easy. Nobody told me it would be and I did not expect it to be. Just did what needed to be done to survive.

I would like to advise you to figure out how to be happy in your circumstances. Deal with your job and life that YOU have designed. Learn things as you go. Once you are ready, make your charge.
 
Last edited:

Nelon154

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 20, 2021
12
31
20
We started on similar paths. I was married and had my first child at 19.

My wife did not work though. I made minimum wage as a landscaper, mechanic, construction, etc...

I worked many long and physically taxing days. Overtime was optional but without overtime pay. It was simply work or don't. Sometimes from 6 am until 9 pm. There were no paid days off. Holidays were without pay unless you chose to work them at straight pay.

It was a tough start. I don't recall complaining though. I moved out of my house at the age of 16 (after getting kicked out of school). Wasn't exactly self sufficient at first but I did work. Either slept in my car or crashed on people's couches or floors.

I was sooooo happy when I got my first apartment only to lose it after 2 months. I had a job but lost my roommate and could not pay. I worked out a deal with the landlord to pay what I owed so it would not go on my credit.

Still happy though. I worked my way up through different jobs and began making more money. Bought a house, got divorced, and kept the 2 kids. Now I was working full time on a job 30 miles away and had to get my children to school and daycare in time to get to work. Then get off work in time to pick the kids up before the centers closed.

I remember dating a girl once and she came over to my place. The kids were cranky and tired. They were fussing and crying about something. My date said "you poor guy" and then left. No loss on my part but dating was tough.

With the added cost of childcare, I could not pay all my bills. Almost lost my house to foreclosure. Ended up selling it and moving into an apartment closer to work.

Very stressed but still happy.

I spent all my time either working or coaching my kids in sports. Still did not have money but loved my life.

I eventually started working on my plans to escape work after marrying again. This freed up some of my time. Every weekend and late nights after work.

It was all the stress, anxiety, lack or freedom and money that motivated me. I did succeed and was able to quit my job after 3 a$$ busting years.

Nothing was easy. Nobody told me it would be and I did not expect it to be. Just did what needed to be done to survive.

I would like to advise you to figure out how to be happy in your circumstances. Deal with your job and life that YOU have designed. Learn things as you go. Once you are ready, make your charge.
Thank you for your advice StevO and also for sharing your story. I admire your discipline and awe at the fact you found a way to be happy even in hard times.

I admit that I have much growing to do. I definitely started to feel more miserable after I started reading about how others have lived. However if I spend all my time now being unhappy I'll probably look old and gray much sooner than 50 haha.

Your contribution really allowed me to feel some perspective. If I may ask, how did you manage your time during those start up years? Between two kids and your work it must have been very hard.
 

Bigguns50

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I would like to advise you to figure out how to be happy in your circumstances.
^^THIS^^

Reflection, journaling, reading. You have to go 'inside'. Go deep.

I recently read "Think Like a Monk", by Jay Shetty. This might fit you well.

Before that, I read a book about taxes, company structures, wealth protection, etc. I don't read a hundred books a year. I read to learn. To understand. To implement.

We can help direct you but YOU have to find the answers to your questions. Dig man! You can do this.
 

SteveO

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I admit that I have much growing to do. I definitely started to feel more miserable after I started reading about how others have lived. However if I spend all my time now being unhappy I'll probably look old and gray much sooner than 50 haha.
I grew up very poor. I went to a high school that had a lot of wealthy families. I did not fit in with the crowd. Instead I hung out with the fighters and drug users.

I had a very poor image of myself and understood that I was simply scum of the earth. So I was numb to the fact that others had so much more.

This changed as I grew older and began having some successes.

It helped that my expectations were low initially.

Your contribution really allowed me to feel some perspective. If I may ask, how did you manage your time during those start up years? Between two kids and your work it must have been very hard.
I'm sure that I was not able to keep up with everything. My youngest was only one year old when the wife bailed out. It was what it was though and there was no option to quit.
 

Nelon154

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 20, 2021
12
31
20
^^THIS^^

Reflection, journaling, reading. You have to go 'inside'. Go deep.

I recently read "Think Like a Monk", by Jay Shetty. This might fit you well.

Before that, I read a book about taxes, company structures, wealth protection, etc. I don't read a hundred books a year. I read to learn. To understand. To implement.

We can help direct you but YOU have to find the answers to your questions. Dig man! You can do this.
^^THIS^^

Reflection, journaling, reading. You have to go 'inside'. Go deep.

I recently read "Think Like a Monk", by Jay Shetty. This might fit you well.

Before that, I read a book about taxes, company structures, wealth protection, etc. I don't read a hundred books a year. I read to learn. To understand. To implement.

We can help direct you but YOU have to find the answers to your questions. Dig man! You can do this.
Thank you for responding to my thread bigguns50! You're absolutely right, if I don't take control of the wheel I won't make it. I can do it! Thank you!
 

Nelon154

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jul 20, 2021
12
31
20
I grew up very poor. I went to a high school that had a lot of wealthy families. I did not fit in with the crowd. Instead I hung out with the fighters and drug users.

I had a very poor image of myself and understood that I was simply scum of the earth. So I was numb to the fact that others had so much more.

This changed as I grew older and began having some successes.

It helped that my expectations were low initially.


I'm sure that I was not able to keep up with everything. My youngest was only one year old when the wife bailed out. It was what it was though and there was no option to quit.
I understand, I shouldn't expect to be on the moon when I've literally just become aware of what could be. Sometimes I forget that I'm 19 years old. I live the life of someone much older.

I made mistakes but I do love my wife and son.
 

WJK

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Hello,

My name is Nelson Brito. I'm new to the forum and I'm looking for some hard advice. This is going to be kinda a long post so I apologize in advance.

A little about me, I'm a 19 year old father to a one year old and I'm also married. I live in New York state and I'm working as an accountant for 19 bucks an hour. My wife is a dental assistant for 17 bucks an hour. We have tons of bills including a daycare payment larger than our rent.

I have an associate's degree in business administration that my dad had to put a lean on our house to pay for so I would not have debt (thanks dad!). I thought that I would be happy being an accountant but I actually hate it.

I read MJ's book the millionaire fast lane and I fell in love with the dream life that MJ lives everyday.

The challenges I currently face that I'd like advice on:

currently,

#1:

I have no direction. I have no idea what kind of value I'd like to provide to the world nor how to be my own dictator of direction. I feel like I'm always waiting for the next order instead of taking the wheel.

I am currently teaching myself how to code java because when I get my idea that's the language best suited due to the range of devices it can be deployed onto.

#2:

My job is draining the life out of me and stressing me out. I come home only to find ten thousand things need to be done. I want to do more at night and so I was wondering if you all knew ways to help me stay focused and not crazy tired besides the obvious caffeinated beverages which seem to have no effect on me.

#3:

I have very strong reasons for why I need to start creating a fast lane process. However I find I lack passion. I've been burned by bad business ideas. I have spent money trying to learn dead end skills.

#4:

I know that I come off as selfish for why I need a fast lane process. It's a challenge for me to think otherwise because I want a life for my family that the average only dream of. I'm tired of missing him say new words or missing out on precious moments together. However I am aware that the only way I can create that life is if regular consumers find me valuable.

So, how can I change my mindset to help me find the passion I need to want to help others rather than myself?

#5:

Has anyone else here ever been in a similar situation to me? Man, I really REALLY don't want to be rich old. I also really feel like I will burn out driving the slow lane.

Any advice and/or criticism is accepted. I thank you in advance for taking the time to read and/or respond.
I was a married 19-year-old -- a long time ago. It's a tough position to be in. Only in those times, I made $1.65 per hour, minimum wages. So, I went back to school, learned new skills, and changed my career direction.

Don't worry about finding your passion. That quest is a dead-end street. Instead, find your path to the life you want to create. And then head down that road, correcting your direction as you go. You'll make a lot of changes along the way. By the time you are in your mid-20s, you'll be a different person from the one you are today. Find creative ways to use your education to propel you forward. Figure out what are the gaps in your education. How can you fill them with additional skills and education? Plug the holes in your finances. Get a handle on your debt. Life as an adult really sucks sometimes. It's full of realities and heavy obligations.

At times it will feel like a dead-end journey But, look at the individual steps like laying bricks. I do my best to lay each brick as carefully and thoughtfully as possible. It's hard to see past that brick in front of my face. Many times I can't see the progress in my work. After all, it is just one more brick laid into my plan. Then, l look up and find out that I have built a dream life.

And here's my personal advice. Love your wife and your child. Find your joy in your life with them. Make sure that your wife is your best friend -- if you want to stay married.

I have a business idea for a young accounting person that you might want to try as a side gig. If you are interested in my idea, just ask.
 

Big_Benny

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Feb 25, 2018
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As many have said, start reading and digging deep. I was almost dead broke just over 8 years ago, but things are very different for me now.

I would suggest that you start building up some additional streams of revenue - which will get your mind thinking differently. It will take time to lay the foundation for additional revenue streams, but it's about changing and unlearning everything you've learnt about money.

I believe it's either Jim Rohn or Brian Tracy who says that in order to be wealthy, you will have to become a different person. You could easily start a YouTube Channel and over time you will start generating some income (it probably won't change your life, but it'll start getting you to think differently).

There will be a lot of growth in the IT space - especially in cyber security.
 

DarkKnight

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We started on similar paths. I was married and had my first child at 19.

My wife did not work though. I made minimum wage as a landscaper, mechanic, construction, etc...

I worked many long and physically taxing days. Overtime was optional but without overtime pay. It was simply work or don't. Sometimes from 6 am until 9 pm. There were no paid days off. Holidays were without pay unless you chose to work them at straight pay.

It was a tough start. I don't recall complaining though. I moved out of my house at the age of 16 (after getting kicked out of school). Wasn't exactly self sufficient at first but I did work. Either slept in my car or crashed on people's couches or floors.

I was sooooo happy when I got my first apartment only to lose it after 2 months. I had a job but lost my roommate and could not pay. I worked out a deal with the landlord to pay what I owed so it would not go on my credit.

Still happy though. I worked my way up through different jobs and began making more money. Bought a house, got divorced, and kept the 2 kids. Now I was working full time on a job 30 miles away and had to get my children to school and daycare in time to get to work. Then get off work in time to pick the kids up before the centers closed.

I remember dating a girl once and she came over to my place. The kids were cranky and tired. They were fussing and crying about something. My date said "you poor guy" and then left. No loss on my part but dating was tough.

With the added cost of childcare, I could not pay all my bills. Almost lost my house to foreclosure. Ended up selling it and moving into an apartment closer to work.

Very stressed but still happy.

I spent all my time either working or coaching my kids in sports. Still did not have money but loved my life.

I eventually started working on my plans to escape work after marrying again. This freed up some of my time. Every weekend and late nights after work.

It was all the stress, anxiety, lack of freedom and money that motivated me. I did succeed and was able to quit my job after 3 a$$ busting years.

Nothing was easy. Nobody told me it would be and I did not expect it to be. Just did what needed to be done to survive.

I would like to advise you to figure out how to be happy in your circumstances. Deal with your job and life that YOU have designed. Learn things as you go. Once you are ready, make your charge.
Hi Steve,

This was super motivating. No matter how hopeful you are and how much of "positive thinking" and "law of attraction" you apply, the truth is that life will inevitably hit you with a sledgehammer and out of the blue sooner or later. For a time, it all looks bleak and dark, but if you hang on, things can look up again and you get to have another shot at it again.

Thanks for sharing your story and for the reminder of what grit can do!
 

ZCP

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@Nelon154 I'll give you the gift I received a few years ago while on a call with some of the people from this forum ........ ask 'what if i give myself some credit?'

It's powerful. Stop and do it for 2 minutes. Write down all the things you are PROUD of. Things you have, have done, are thankful for.

Did you do it? Do it. Trust me.

.
.
.
.
.
.

Look over your list. Picture each one in your mind and how it makes you feel. USE this list to POWER you. You feel down? Go to gratitude. Feel overwhelmed? Go to thankfulness. Tired? Look over that list.

Build a strong base of love and carry it over into your family. When the entire family is on board, it is just a journey. Involve them in what you are doing. Instead of you 'missing out', you'll be together. You are NOT alone. You have a team. You also have a community here that will help you. Reach out.

You have NO idea how amazing @SteveO is! He has changed MY life. I've seen and been there when he changed many others. Hit him up. Call him on the phone.

What part of New York are you in? Let's get you some fastlaners to hang out with to get your journey rolling!
 

ZCP

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AND change your language @Nelon154 !

You GET to be an accountant. You have key skills understanding numbers that others do not.
You GET to go in and learn and find connections and help people.

Language and gratitude.

You got this.
 

Jon L

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Don't worry about finding your passion. That quest is a dead-end street. Instead, find your path to the life you want to create. And then head down that road, correcting your direction as you go. You'll make a lot of changes along the way.
This.

I wish I had known that 20 years ago. I spent way too much time considering what color my parachute was and not enough time jumping out of planes. (If you missed the reference, its from a book I DON'T recommend you read: "What Color is Your Parachute")
 

simonley

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Jul 20, 2021
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Now quite a lot of people have children at an early age. But I believe that you will get the best experience by working out your own mistakes, because not everyone will be suitable for the same ways of raising children. You may have a different opinion and this is normal, but be careful.
 

Nelon154

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Jul 20, 2021
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@ZCP @BlackMagician

So first of all thank you for taking the time to post on this thread, I am grateful for the welcoming vibe of this community.

Second, I've decided that I won't waste time trying to find my passion now. I will change my language and face the challenges involved so I can find peace with my current situation.

Also, I've found a business idea that I know will add value to society. And I've decided to pursue it with all of my heart. No more thinking now, just doing.

Then I've decided, after writing down the things I'm proud of as previously recommended. That I've really accomplished somethings despite my mistakes. A lot of people make mistakes and decide to live with them. However I didn't blindly accept my situation and changed my environment, job, and way of life.

I've decided that instead of beating myself up for my mistakes I will instead recognize what I've done to mend them.
 

WJK

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Now quite a lot of people have children at an early age. But I believe that you will get the best experience by working out your own mistakes, because not everyone will be suitable for the same ways of raising children. You may have a different opinion and this is normal, but be careful.
When I was growing up, we married our boyfriends right out of high school, had a kid the first year, and then more kids after that. Being an "old maid" wasn't acceptable. Birth control pills and the Civil Right movement which spanned the Fair Credit Act changed all of that. Those factors created the Women's Movement. Our world is totally different today.
 

SteveO

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Second, I've decided that I won't waste time trying to find my passion now.
You should be working on your fastlane side. The practice will come in handy.

You did get a lot of advice here. It was your initial perception that triggered me to respond.

Many on this forum feel that you need to have something kick you over the hurdle in order for you to proceed with your fastlane plan. That may work for some or most people. Not for me though.

My philosophy is that you should be happy doing whatever it is that you are needing to do. Use that in your growth and keep moving forward.

Please do waste your time learning and moving forward. That wasted time will pay dividends for you.

With regards to "mistakes", more words for @ZCP to lecture you on. Perhaps "experiences" is a better word for what you are trying to say. :)
 

Nelon154

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Jul 20, 2021
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You should be working on your fastlane side. The practice will come in handy.

You did get a lot of advice here. It was your initial perception that triggered me to respond.

Many on this forum feel that you need to have something kick you over the hurdle in order for you to proceed with your fastlane plan. That may work for some or most people. Not for me though.

My philosophy is that you should be happy doing whatever it is that you are needing to do. Use that in your growth and keep moving forward.

Please do waste your time learning and moving forward. That wasted time will pay dividends for you.

With regards to "mistakes", more words for @ZCP to lecture you on. Perhaps "experiences" is a better word for what you are trying to say. :)
Yeah you're right I have had quite a lot of new experiences. Ever since my son was born I had to be a problem solver. If I had to say what the reason for my discontent is that I see what could be. People come and go and I want to be one of the people that lived life to the fullest. I am happy with my family and they bring me much joy. As I write this they sleep at my side. While I'm doing research on my idea. Turns out a lot of other people had the same idea. I have to brain storm about what unique service and value I could add to the market or if I should come up with something else
 

SteveO

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Yeah you're right I have had quite a lot of new experiences. Ever since my son was born I had to be a problem solver. If I had to say what the reason for my discontent is that I see what could be. People come and go and I want to be one of the people that lived life to the fullest. I am happy with my family and they bring me much joy. As I write this they sleep at my side. While I'm doing research on my idea. Turns out a lot of other people had the same idea. I have to brain storm about what unique service and value I could add to the market or if I should come up with something else
Holy shit dude! You are writing your own story of contentment!

Remember all of this as you march forward...
 

SteveO

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@Nelon154 . One thing that you don't want is to look back at your life in 50 years and think of all the things you wished it could have been.

I had a large collapse that knocked all the money I had plus some out of my hands. I lost over 10M. Today the assets I lost would put my net worth over 80M. I gained a few million back and am satisfied.

I could easily have gone into a downward spiral and not recovered from it. But, I learned a lot about myself, my needs, my thoughts, and philosophy on life. I came out of this as a better and happier person.

Today I own a golf course, a nice house, acres of property, and no debt. My life is focused on pleasure and enjoyment at this point.

Move towards the things you want to do. They will evolve with time. You will find your path. Don't wait until later. Follow your intuition. It will lead you into incredible arenas.

Enjoy your moments on this earth. Accept the negative experiences the same way as you accept the positive ones. Simply acknowledge them and move forward.

One other note. I have been on an extreme roller coaster ride for my entire life. The experiences that were shared on this thread are only the tip of the iceberg. When I reflect on my life, I'm surprised that there is any reflection of sanity left. I am completely fulfilled though and happy with all these experiences.
 
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Nelon154

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@Nelon154 . One thing that you don't want is to look back at your life in 50 years and think of all the things you wished it could have been.

I had a large collapse that knocked all the money I had plus some out of my hands. I lost over 10M. Today the assets I lost would put my net worth over 80M. I gained a few million back and am satisfied.

I could easily have gone into a downward spiral and not recovered from it. But, I learned a lot about myself, my needs, my thoughts, and philosophy on life. I came out of this as a better and happier person.

Today I own a golf course, a nice house, acres of property, and no debt. Sounds great right? Except that I have nagging physical ailments that are making it difficult to enjoy.

Move towards the things you want to do. They will evolve with time. You will find your path. Don't wait until later. Follow your intuition. It will lead you into incredible arenas.

Enjoy your moments on this earth. Accept the negative experiences the same way as you accept the positive ones. Simply acknowledge them and move forward.

One other note. I have been on an extreme roller coaster ride for my entire life. The experiences that were shared on this thread are only the tip of the iceberg. When I reflect on my life, I'm surprised that there is any reflection of sanity left. I am completely fulfilled though and happy with all these experiences.
Wow that must have been very difficult. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad I found these books, this thread, and had the opportunity to hear from you! I will enjoy every moment I have or I'll die trying.
 

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First, amazing replies @SteveO / @WJK / @ZCP!
Important lessons to never forget, regardless of circumstances...
My job is draining the life out of me and stressing me out. I come home only to find ten thousand things need to be done. I want to do more at night and so I was wondering if you all knew ways to help me stay focused and not crazy tired besides the obvious caffeinated beverages which seem to have no effect on me.
The only thing I'd add to this discussion is to take a step back to identify the biggest source of stress/frustration that is the easiest to fix, and by doing so will yield the most positive impact on your mood & energy levels. Some things are stupidly easy to fix.

Notice I didn't mention anything about managing time. There's a great book called "The Power of Full Engagement" about this — I'll always emphasize managing ENERGY over TIME until my last breath, because managing time doesn't mean anything if you're exhausted.

So I'd experiment with your schedule or other factors to maximize energy when you need it the most, which is working on yourself. You mentioned the house is chaotic in the evening, which is suffocating you...I'd say the lowest-hanging fruit here would be to wake up a few hours earlier before everyone's awake, so you can lock in undistracted time while you're fresh.

Beyond that I'd look at the normal culprits like what you're eating, how your sleep is and how you're exercising. Make sure whatever habits you adopt GIVES you energy, and doesn't take it away. Everyone is different, so make note of everything that drains you (Chores? Certain Work Responsibilities?) and try to mitigate it as much as possible, while on the flipside make note of everything that gives you energy (Walking? Weights? Time in Nature?) and try to get it in daily.

This will give you a LOT of energy to work with when you need it. It definitely requires a lot of experimentation to get right, but I'm confident you'll figure it out.

Good Luck!
 

Edgar King

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All of this is gold!

Some of these stars have really been in it and made it out of the trenches, so it's all solid advice.

And if it will help keep you accountable, I recommend you post a progress/execution thread when you've researched your idea appropriately and are ready to execute.

That way we can all chip in for problems you may have along the way.

Best of luck Nelon! Though you won't need it ;)
 
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