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I'm feeling chased but not knowing how to deal with it

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Wiezel

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My name is Lars and I turned 25 a few weeks back. During these strange times I never felt more insecure about how 'unsafe' having a job is.
I work in aviation and almost half of work is gone, all passenger flights are cancelled. My contract is ending in September and I'm not sure if it will get extended. Therefore I'm scared of not being able to pay for my house (where I dreamt of, finally living on my own terms).

I don't want to dwell on my past but I've been that guy who's known for 'job hopping', the longest I stayed in a job is 1,5 year. My main reason for leaving so many jobs is I wasn't enjoying it, it didn't inspire me and feeling drained end of the day. Besides that I'm an HSP (High Sensitive Person) which allows me to live on my own perfectly fine without others, I don't connect to much with other human beings.

Reading this you might think I'm a loner and socially awkward but in contrast; I would love to connect with others, I'm a very good listener (thanks HSP). Currently my life is far from exciting; work, chill, eat, sleep and repeat. Which is okay for me some days. But it's getting worse now these strange times has appeared and I'm feeling chased by insecurities, money and not knowing what the future will bring. I wouldn't say I hate my life but it's not amazing either, it's satisfying (and frustrating at the same time).

How do I deal with;
1. Not knowing what truly inspires me/making me feel alive
2. Finding out what I am capable of and what amazing things a human being can do
3. Finding it hard to connect with others

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I would love to see your reply!

~ Lars
 

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krishnafied

New Contributor
Apr 2, 2020
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Huntsville, AL
My name is Lars and I turned 25 a few weeks back. During these strange times I never felt more insecure about how 'unsafe' having a job is.
I work in aviation and almost half of work is gone, all passenger flights are cancelled. My contract is ending in September and I'm not sure if it will get extended. Therefore I'm scared of not being able to pay for my house (where I dreamt of, finally living on my own terms).

I don't want to dwell on my past but I've been that guy who's known for 'job hopping', the longest I stayed in a job is 1,5 year. My main reason for leaving so many jobs is I wasn't enjoying it, it didn't inspire me and feeling drained end of the day. Besides that I'm an HSP (High Sensitive Person) which allows me to live on my own perfectly fine without others, I don't connect to much with other human beings.

Reading this you might think I'm a loner and socially awkward but in contrast; I would love to connect with others, I'm a very good listener (thanks HSP). Currently my life is far from exciting; work, chill, eat, sleep and repeat. Which is okay for me some days. But it's getting worse now these strange times has appeared and I'm feeling chased by insecurities, money and not knowing what the future will bring. I wouldn't say I hate my life but it's not amazing either, it's satisfying (and frustrating at the same time).

How do I deal with;
1. Not knowing what truly inspires me/making me feel alive
2. Finding out what I am capable of and what amazing things a human being can do
3. Finding it hard to connect with others

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I would love to see your reply!

~ Lars
Dear Lars, thank you for your sincere post. I think I have a good answer for you -- it's so simple, it may surprise you!

As an HSP, you care deeply about the welfare of other people and of animals. If you don't use that somehow, you will not find fulfillment.

When we sit around and think, "What about me? What about me? What about me?" that is a guaranteed recipe for depression. So the antidote is, every moment, think, "What can I do for the world and the people around me?"
 

LuckyPup

Done Dicking Around
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Midwest USA
My name is Lars and I turned 25 a few weeks back. During these strange times I never felt more insecure about how 'unsafe' having a job is.
I work in aviation and almost half of work is gone, all passenger flights are cancelled. My contract is ending in September and I'm not sure if it will get extended. Therefore I'm scared of not being able to pay for my house (where I dreamt of, finally living on my own terms).

I don't want to dwell on my past but I've been that guy who's known for 'job hopping', the longest I stayed in a job is 1,5 year. My main reason for leaving so many jobs is I wasn't enjoying it, it didn't inspire me and feeling drained end of the day. Besides that I'm an HSP (High Sensitive Person) which allows me to live on my own perfectly fine without others, I don't connect to much with other human beings.

Reading this you might think I'm a loner and socially awkward but in contrast; I would love to connect with others, I'm a very good listener (thanks HSP). Currently my life is far from exciting; work, chill, eat, sleep and repeat. Which is okay for me some days. But it's getting worse now these strange times has appeared and I'm feeling chased by insecurities, money and not knowing what the future will bring. I wouldn't say I hate my life but it's not amazing either, it's satisfying (and frustrating at the same time).

How do I deal with;
1. Not knowing what truly inspires me/making me feel alive
2. Finding out what I am capable of and what amazing things a human being can do
3. Finding it hard to connect with others

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I would love to see your reply!

~ Lars
Hi Lars,

Thanks for your post and I can relate to your malaise. Been there. Please take this feedback with a grain of salt, as I don't know you, but here are a few tips:

1. Regarding feeling chased, you're young and life is a marathon, not a sprint. If you are feeling anxious or highly frustrated about where you are in life, remember that you have time to figure it out. On the other hand, that shouldn't be a free pass to waste time. We have only moments and at the end of it all, that's what we will remember, so make the most of the moments you've been given. I know that sounds contradictory, but really it means that there's a balance between "feeling chased" and being motivated. Try to strike that balance.

2. Regarding finding out what you're capable of, start by remembering Plato's immortal words, "Know thyself." I believe most people (myself included) make the wrong life choices because they don't understand what really drives them; motivates them and influences their choices. This is true both personally and professionally. You've mentioned that you're a HSP. I'm not familiar with that label, or diagnosis if it is one. However, if it is accurate then try to understand what strengths are inherent to an HSP and learn to play to those strengths. It might also be constructive for you to dive a bit deeper into a self-discovery process (although I hate that term - it sounds so foo-foo). To that end, look into the following self assessment tools:

Gallup Strengths Finder
DISC Assessment
Kolbe Conative Assessment

3. Action precedes motivation. You learn best by doing, and that applies both to learning what you're capable of and learning how to connect with others. Practice. Get out of your comfort zone by making a contribution to others. @krishnafied made a great point. Ask yourself every day, "How I can help others?" Then, take action every day.
 
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