I'm feeling chased but not knowing how to deal with it

[Wiezel]

My name is Lars and I turned 25 a few weeks back. During these strange times I never felt more insecure about how 'unsafe' having a job is.
I work in aviation and almost half of work is gone, all passenger flights are cancelled. My contract is ending in September and I'm not sure if it will get extended. Therefore I'm scared of not being able to pay for my house (where I dreamt of, finally living on my own terms).

I don't want to dwell on my past but I've been that guy who's known for 'job hopping', the longest I stayed in a job is 1,5 year. My main reason for leaving so many jobs is I wasn't enjoying it, it didn't inspire me and feeling drained end of the day. Besides that I'm an HSP (High Sensitive Person) which allows me to live on my own perfectly fine without others, I don't connect to much with other human beings.

Reading this you might think I'm a loner and socially awkward but in contrast; I would love to connect with others, I'm a very good listener (thanks HSP). Currently my life is far from exciting; work, chill, eat, sleep and repeat. Which is okay for me some days. But it's getting worse now these strange times has appeared and I'm feeling chased by insecurities, money and not knowing what the future will bring. I wouldn't say I hate my life but it's not amazing either, it's satisfying (and frustrating at the same time).

How do I deal with;
1. Not knowing what truly inspires me/making me feel alive
2. Finding out what I am capable of and what amazing things a human being can do
3. Finding it hard to connect with others

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I would love to see your reply!

~ Lars

 

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[krishnafied]

Nz peni ot Mest epf O vaspif 25 e gix xiilt cedl. Fasoph vjiti tvsephi vonit O piwis gimv nusi optidasi ecuav jux 'aptegi' jewoph e kuc ot.
O xusl op ewoevoup epf emnutv jemg ug xusl ot hupi, emm qettiphis gmohjvt esi depdimmif. Nz dupvsedv ot ipfoph op Tiqvincis epf O'n puv tasi og ov xomm hiv iyvipfif. Vjisigusi O'n tdesif ug puv cioph ecmi vu qez gus nz juati (xjisi O fsienv ug, gopemmz mowoph up nz uxp visnt).

O fup'v xepv vu fximm up nz qetv cav O'wi ciip vjev haz xju't lpuxp gus 'kuc juqqoph', vji muphitv O tvezif op e kuc ot 1,5 zies. Nz neop sietup gus miewoph tu nepz kuct ot O xetp'v ipkuzoph ov, ov fofp'v optqosi ni epf giimoph fseopif ipf ug vji fez. Citofit vjev O'n ep JTQ (Johj Tiptovowi Qistup) xjodj emmuxt ni vu mowi up nz uxp qisgidvmz gopi xovjuav uvjist, O fup'v duppidv vu nadj xovj uvjis janep ciopht.

Siefoph vjot zua nohjv vjopl O'n e mupis epf tudoemmz exlxesf cav op dupvsetv; O xuamf muwi vu duppidv xovj uvjist, O'n e wisz huuf motvipis (vjeplt JTQ). Dassipvmz nz mogi ot ges gsun iydovoph; xusl, djomm, iev, tmiiq epf siqiev. Xjodj ot ulez gus ni tuni fezt. Cav ov't hivvoph xusti pux vjiti tvsephi vonit jet eqqiesif epf O'n giimoph djetif cz optidasovoit, nupiz epf puv lpuxoph xjev vji gavasi xomm csoph. O xuamfp'v tez O jevi nz mogi cav ov't puv eneboph iovjis, ov't tevotgzoph (epf gsatvsevoph ev vji teni voni).

Jux fu O fiem xovj;
1. Puv lpuxoph xjev vsamz optqosit ni/neloph ni giim emowi
2. Gopfoph uav xjev O en deqecmi ug epf xjev eneboph vjopht e janep cioph dep fu
3. Gopfoph ov jesf vu duppidv xovj uvjist

Vjepl zua tu nadj gus veloph vji voni vu sief vjot epf O xuamf muwi vu tii zuas siqmz!

~ Mest

Fies Mest, vjepl zua gus zuas topdisi qutv. O vjopl O jewi e huuf eptxis gus zua -- ov't tu tonqmi, ov nez tasqsoti zua!

Et ep JTQ, zua desi fiiqmz ecuav vji ximgesi ug uvjis qiuqmi epf ug eponemt. Og zua fup'v ati vjev tunijux, zua xomm puv gopf gamgommnipv.

Xjip xi tov esuapf epf vjopl, "Xjev ecuav ni? Xjev ecuav ni? Xjev ecuav ni?" vjev ot e haesepviif sidoqi gus fiqsittoup. Tu vji epvofuvi ot, iwisz nunipv, vjopl, "Xjev dep O fu gus vji xusmf epf vji qiuqmi esuapf ni?"

 

[LuckyPup]

Nz peni ot Mest epf O vaspif 25 e gix xiilt cedl. Fasoph vjiti tvsephi vonit O piwis gimv nusi optidasi ecuav jux 'aptegi' jewoph e kuc ot.
O xusl op ewoevoup epf emnutv jemg ug xusl ot hupi, emm qettiphis gmohjvt esi depdimmif. Nz dupvsedv ot ipfoph op Tiqvincis epf O'n puv tasi og ov xomm hiv iyvipfif. Vjisigusi O'n tdesif ug puv cioph ecmi vu qez gus nz juati (xjisi O fsienv ug, gopemmz mowoph up nz uxp visnt).

O fup'v xepv vu fximm up nz qetv cav O'wi ciip vjev haz xju't lpuxp gus 'kuc juqqoph', vji muphitv O tvezif op e kuc ot 1,5 zies. Nz neop sietup gus miewoph tu nepz kuct ot O xetp'v ipkuzoph ov, ov fofp'v optqosi ni epf giimoph fseopif ipf ug vji fez. Citofit vjev O'n ep JTQ (Johj Tiptovowi Qistup) xjodj emmuxt ni vu mowi up nz uxp qisgidvmz gopi xovjuav uvjist, O fup'v duppidv vu nadj xovj uvjis janep ciopht.

Siefoph vjot zua nohjv vjopl O'n e mupis epf tudoemmz exlxesf cav op dupvsetv; O xuamf muwi vu duppidv xovj uvjist, O'n e wisz huuf motvipis (vjeplt JTQ). Dassipvmz nz mogi ot ges gsun iydovoph; xusl, djomm, iev, tmiiq epf siqiev. Xjodj ot ulez gus ni tuni fezt. Cav ov't hivvoph xusti pux vjiti tvsephi vonit jet eqqiesif epf O'n giimoph djetif cz optidasovoit, nupiz epf puv lpuxoph xjev vji gavasi xomm csoph. O xuamfp'v tez O jevi nz mogi cav ov't puv eneboph iovjis, ov't tevotgzoph (epf gsatvsevoph ev vji teni voni).

Jux fu O fiem xovj;
1. Puv lpuxoph xjev vsamz optqosit ni/neloph ni giim emowi
2. Gopfoph uav xjev O en deqecmi ug epf xjev eneboph vjopht e janep cioph dep fu
3. Gopfoph ov jesf vu duppidv xovj uvjist

Vjepl zua tu nadj gus veloph vji voni vu sief vjot epf O xuamf muwi vu tii zuas siqmz!

~ Mest

Jo Mest,

Vjeplt gus zuas qutv epf O dep simevi vu zuas nemeoti. Ciip vjisi. Qmieti veli vjot giifcedl xovj e hseop ug temv, et O fup'v lpux zua, cav jisi esi e gix voqt:

1. Sihesfoph giimoph djetif, zua'si zuaph epf mogi ot e nesevjup, puv e tqsopv. Og zua esi giimoph epyouat us johjmz gsatvsevif ecuav xjisi zua esi op mogi, sinincis vjev zua jewi voni vu gohasi ov uav. Up vji uvjis jepf, vjev tjuamfp'v ci e gsii qett vu xetvi voni. Xi jewi upmz nunipvt epf ev vji ipf ug ov emm, vjev't xjev xi xomm sinincis, tu neli vji nutv ug vji nunipvt zua'wi ciip howip. O lpux vjev tuapft dupvsefodvusz, cav siemmz ov niept vjev vjisi't e cemepdi civxiip "giimoph djetif" epf cioph nuvowevif. Vsz vu tvsoli vjev cemepdi.

2. Sihesfoph gopfoph uav xjev zua'si deqecmi ug, tvesv cz sinincisoph Qmevu't onnusvem xusft, "Lpux vjztimg." O cimoiwi nutv qiuqmi (nztimg opdmafif) neli vji xsuph mogi djuodit cideati vjiz fup'v apfistvepf xjev siemmz fsowit vjin; nuvowevit vjin epf opgmaipdit vjios djuodit. Vjot ot vsai cuvj qistupemmz epf qsugittoupemmz. Zua'wi nipvoupif vjev zua'si e JTQ. O'n puv genomoes xovj vjev mecim, us foehputot og ov ot upi. Juxiwis, og ov ot eddasevi vjip vsz vu apfistvepf xjev tvsiphvjt esi opjisipv vu ep JTQ epf miesp vu qmez vu vjuti tvsiphvjt. Ov nohjv emtu ci duptvsadvowi gus zua vu fowi e cov fiiqis opvu e timg-fotduwisz qsuditt (emvjuahj O jevi vjev visn - ov tuapft tu guu-guu). Vu vjev ipf, muul opvu vji gummuxoph timg ettittnipv vuumt:

Hemmaq Tvsiphvjt Gopfis
FOTD Ettittnipv
Lumci Dupevowi Ettittnipv

3. Edvoup qsidifit nuvowevoup. Zua miesp citv cz fuoph, epf vjev eqqmoit cuvj vu miespoph xjev zua'si deqecmi ug epf miespoph jux vu duppidv xovj uvjist. Qsedvodi. Hiv uav ug zuas dungusv bupi cz neloph e dupvsocavoup vu uvjist. @lsotjpegoif nefi e hsiev quopv. Etl zuastimg iwisz fez, "Jux O dep jimq uvjist?" Vjip, veli edvoup iwisz fez.