I'm 47, no net worth, facing some critical decisions...

[mrconder]

If you make 85k per year and have 0 net worth at the age of 47 then you've clearly been living on the sidewalk.
.

Clearly.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[mrconder]

welcome to the forum, sorry you've arrived by such painful circumstances. From the title, sounds like you've lead a scripted life. At least you didn't get married and lose half your shit in a messy divorce

I was married for 17 years. I did loose my shit. I still pay $1066 in child support.

 

[Dan_Fastlane]

if these comments dont get you started then nothing will!

 

[mrconder]

• hit the gym, lose some fat and gain some muscle mass. You'll look and feel much better, and you will have the momentum to generate more quick wins in other areas
• .

This is about the only area I'm doing well in right now. I'm an avid rock climber, skiier, moutain biker, and hiker. I look 10 years younger than I am. I'm worried if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer and I'll become a fat slob like most people at the apex of the technology game. All the top tech people I know personally do not take care of themselves and are headed for an early grave.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MidwestLandlord]

I'm worried if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer and I'll become a fat slob like most people at the apex of the technology game. All the top tech people I know personally do not take care of themselves and are headed for an early grave.

THEIR choice.

I was married for 17 years. I did loose my shit. I still pay $1066 in child support.

+$85,000
- $21,250 taxes
- $12,792 child support
---------------------
= $50,958

OUCH

 

[Argue]

This is about the only area I'm doing well in right now. I'm an avid rock climber, skiier, moutain biker, and hiker. I look 10 years younger than I am. I'm worried if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer and I'll become a fat slob like most people at the apex of the technology game. All the top tech people I know personally do not take care of themselves and are headed for an early grave.

No offense but you keep finding excuses for yourself.

So you're worried if you engage in Fastlane pursuits, your health will suffer and you'll become a fat blob?

You lack that much discipline? You cannot control your own health and work/life balance? This is such an excuse.

And why is your focus on other people in the tech game? Worry about yourself, your health, and your life pursuits.

Stop finding ways to counteract what people here are telling you. Be humble, listen, and have an open mind. Stop limiting yourself.

 

[mrconder]

Welcome.
Beneficial things to grasp, in no particular order: humility, empathy and manners.


Not trying to be a dick, but you should read the book again.

Ignoring the passive aggressive left-handed compliment about falling into a successful business...Of course there are methods that worked yesterday that don't work today, but the fundamentals don't change. Having a system that enables you to recognize and leverage opportunities is what we talk about, not fly-by-night hustles.

You're in the top 1%. Downgrade and live off 40k, start investing the rest.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[c_morris]

1st off, thanks for coming back to face the music so to speak. Hopefully you will learn something and can move forward.

I'm worried if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer and I'll become a fat slob like most people at the apex of the technology game. All the top tech people I know personally do not take care of themselves and are headed for an early grave.

People often attach 2 ideas or circumstances to each other and view them as 1 problem.

"I WANT to build a business, BUT I have no money"
"I WANT to build a business, BUT I don't want my health to suffer"
"I WANT to build a business, BUT I don't have time"

Changing the BUT to AND, helps you disassociate the 2 from each other. From there you can solve for the AND while keeping your WANT in tact.

"I WANT to build a business, AND I have no money"
"I WANT to build a business, AND I don't want my health to suffer"
"I WANT to build a business, AND I don't have time"

 

[EvanOkanagan]

I'm 47, I have no net worth, work for a dead end company

I could spin my wheels trying business after business while falling further and further behind in my current career and potentially loose my ability to support myself.

Any advice is appreciate.

Just re-read what you wrote in your intro.

How much further behind could you fall in your current career? You have zero to show for it (your words).

 

[MJ DeMarco]

false dilemma is a type of informal fallacy in which something is falsely claimed to be an "either/or" situation, when in fact there is at least one additional option.

if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer

I say we change mrconder's username to Mr-FalseDilemma.

But then again, if we remove the false dilemmas, what would be left to prop up the excuses?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[mrconder]

I say we change mrconder's username to Mr-FalseDilemma.

But then again, if we remove the false dilemmas, what would be left to prop up the excuses?

I appreciate the replies, especially the harsh ones. Clearly, I have a lot to work out with in head. Thanks everyone.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I appreciate the replies, especially the harsh ones. Clearly, I have a lot to work out with in head. Thanks everyone.

Kudos for taking some heat and not getting defensive, and instead being introspective on what others have said. That indicates YOU CAN make a change.

The same type of great effort you put forth into your health and fitness excellencies need to be applied toward business. Do that, and you'll get there.

Good luck.

 

[AndrewNC]

I'm 47, I have no net worth, work for a dead end company, and my skills haven't been updated in awhile. I'm a systems engineer (not software), but I haven't been challenged in a long time. My insanely hot girlfriend just broke up with me. Not only is she beautiful, but is a COO for a global company making around $250k a year. I think I developed a false sense of security because we had been talking about marriage. I felt if anything happened with my current employment, I'd be safe with her, have time to re-tool and get things worked out. I suppose I thought we would be going into retirement together.

We broke up two months ago. I've been shell shocked and confidence is completely gone. I've been reading books, trying to figure out what direction to take my life. I read the Rational Male and it really got me thinking my lack of confidence stems from my current financial position. Next, I read The Millionaire Fastlane . I want to believe I have it in me to make something happen, a hail mary before I need to chill and stop working. On the other hand, I could focus on my energy on a career pivot, or just sharpening my current skills. I don't have the time or energy for both.

I feel like I have a critical, pivotal decision to make here and I don't have any room for error. I don't know I'm quite sold on the "fastlane" approach, because so many people doing this are just trying to find affiliate products to sell, or putting out their own version of "how to make money," e-books. I'm really leery of all self-help authors who make their money telling others how to get rich. I realize DeMarco made money in the early days of the internet, stumbling upon leadgen and other strategies back when there was competitively little competition. I'd like to seem him do it again right now with no credit, no net worth, and know name recognition. I don't want to be another guy mucking around with making websites to drive traffic. It seems there are way to many people doing that, so it fails at least 1 of the requirements.

At any rate, I guess I have some degree of fear here. I make 85k a year. I could pivot into technical project management or an IT leadership role and make well over 6 figures, but for how long? Alternatively, I could spin my wheels trying business after business while falling further and further behind in my current career and potentially loose my ability to support myself.

Any advice is appreciate. I know all you guys have already drank the kool-aide and are probably going to be very one sided, and even have some harsh words for me, but that's ok. I'm asking for it here.

Interesting story...now let me tell you my story...

The Witchdoctor Part 1

Last night I did a past life regression hypnosis.

After going deep into trance, my soul teleported back many many lifetimes and it was about 15,000 years ago. It was some type of tribal era where everybody lived in the wilderness. People came together to form small groups for security, connection, and protection.

Let's call them tribes...Tribes in the wilderness.

Me? I was a witchdoctor who lived in a cave on the mountain doing my own thing. In this timeframe, I developed some type of special powers where I can cast spells on people and predict the future for them. From time to time I come down to this village to share in the festivities. When someone is lost and wandering through the wilderness with no direction, I cast a spell on them and point them in the direction of this tribe.

During this past life hypnosis session, I come back to this tribe to find a strange caveman come in from the wilderness and greet the tribe members for the first time.

This man comes into the tribe battered and broken, and begins to tell his story...

Many moons ago, he was roaming through this life and met a cave girl who could surely be the alpha of her own tribe. She knew how to hunt, fish, make fires, gather resources, and was very skilled at communicating with the people she meets in the wilderness. She surely lived in abundance and could thrive on her own.

When she met this man that is in front of me now, she saw something in him...

Do you know what that one thing was, which attracted her to him?

He was a strong man, more than capable of gathering an abundance of resources himself...and enough to share with others. Filled with confidence in himself and his abilities, he roamed through the wilderness with confidence. While he compared himself to tribal leaders who had much more than him, he never realized that he was gathering more than enough resources on his own...more than most people out in the world.

He took a moment to stop comparing, and appreciate and be grateful for that at least...

In the past, she came across many weak men wandering through the wilderness with no purpose or direction. They were simply lost, wanderers, trying to leech off of her ability to gather resources and abundance for them. When a long, dark winter was about to come, they weren't confident enough to go off and gather resources by themselves, and they relied on her to take care of them when times got tough.

But then she met this one man, who was different. He has the skills, he has the confidence, and they begin walking their journey together. It was assumed they would walk through the wilderness for the rest of their lives together...

During the spring and summer, she continued to be that strong cave-woman and continued to gather resources with abundance. She pushed herself to new heights and new levels. Her skills always improving and always getting stronger and more confident with herself. She taught herself how to make fire out of nothing...

And he thought he could be reliant on her...

Then this caveman she was with stopped evolving....he stopped growing.

Despite gathering resources on his own... The resources he was bringing in quickly got drained away. He gave it away to others, and he couldn't hold onto the resources he was making...he was careless and didn't properly manage what he has.

He struggled in holding onto them..

He was always back to zero...

What could he do in order to build up the resources to new heights that will last him throughout the winter?

At least he has this one skill-set that keeps him just above zero.

As the fall rolled around, he was barely getting by. He had enough resources to survive, but he was always one bad hunt away from failure. She stuck around for a while because inside she knew that he could evolve, he could grow and he could unleash that strong confidence that was been hiding within him all along.

He could continue to be that man he was when they first met. He could continue to shine out those qualities she originally saw in him...She was ready and excited for him to evolve and grow through this life with her.

But he never did.

He never taught himself the new skills...he never chose to challenge himself.

And then winter begins to roll around.

He became dependent on her...he thought he would be safe with her. And she sensed that he was about to start leeching off of her like the rest of the men she pushes away.

That strong confident man she once met went into hiding...and for quite some time now, it appeared that he was gone..

So she left him for greener pastures. That one thing inside of him never shined out and she was no longer attracted to him..

And that's when the man wanders around the wilderness on his own for many many moons before coming into this village to share his story with us. A story of struggle and depression.

To anyone reading this, it's clear as day why she left him. It's clear why he is struggling to get by. Can't you see it? Why would he want to be with him?

He is feeling sorry for himself. He isn't teaching himself those new skills. He lets the story of his past get in the way of what he could choose to be doing now.

What could he choose to be doing now?

What could he do to make him thrive?

What could he be doing now that would connect him back with that strong confident man who he truly is deep inside, ready and capable to learn these new skills and to evolve and grow, and be his own man?

So here is this newcomer to the village; standing here today with a critical, pivotal decision to make.

1. Does he continue to live wrapped up in these stories of the past and not do anything about it?
2. Or does he choose to be that strong confident caveman who can survive, no...thrive...on his own in the wilderness?

He came in here broken and destroyed, wrapped up in his stories from the past.

But that's the past and that's gone now, so I walk up to him and I tell him:

You have to look into the future. What kind of life do you want to live? Do you want to continue and struggle and feel sorry for yourself and barely get by like you did in the past?

Or do you want to be that strong, confident man who has the character traits and throws himself into the wilderness despite fear.

You can choose to continue to evolve and grow as a man, and develop these traits that make you dependent on nobody; regardless if you know what to do or not.

Hell..simply the fact that you choose to walk forward despite not having and direction or purpose means that you're already confident enough to do anything...that's confidence in itself.

Take that first step into the unknown...and you'll realize the confidence is already here

You'll face your fair share of challenges in the wilderness on your own. You'll get thrown down, beat up, but it's what you do in this moment right when this happens that turns you into:

1. The man with the most resources.
2. The child who sucks on his thumb on the outskirts of this village, crying about the past, left to barely get by...and eventually die...feeling sorry for yourself. Telling these stories over and over in your head.

So here is this caveman who came to this village in search for the answers....and this tribe gave him the answers he needed to hear.

He heard my words. He heard the words of those who live here in abundance. He's skeptical, he's fearful, but he now knows one thing...we don't have the answers he is looking for.

To truly be initiated into this tribe, and this abundant life he wants....he has to prove himself and find the answers himself.

Not with his words, but with his actions.

So we tell him:

Go off into the wilderness. Face these trials and tribulations. Develop these character traits. Learn these new skills to gather these resources. And then one day you'll be that man who is even more abundant and strong than she is...

And she'll notice you. She'll notice how much you changed, and how you're not longer dependent on her for what you're searching for.

That you're no longer dependent on anyone for anything.

Because you learned how to thrive in the wilderness on your own. And that's one bad-a$$ accomplishment.

So in this vision I had from the past life, I go up to this man and I present him a challenge and a nudge in the right direction:

1. Go off in to the wilderness. Find someone who is struggling with something in their lives...anything....

And offer your help. Find out what resources they need. Get the resources yourself, and give it to them. If you don't have the skills or knowledge to get this resource for them, you learn it. By doing. By trying. By taking action.

In fact, if this caveman goes out and learns new skills to bring resources to someone else...he would be doing more than just learning what it takes to make it in this world (by helping others), but he would be growing more confident in himself along the way. Wouldn't you agree?

or I could tell him.

2. Don't.

Feel sorry for yourself, live in your past, and continue to play the victim card, be defeated, and live a lonely, depressing, shattered life where you'll always be struggling...

The caveman who barely survived in the wilderness...

Not the life you want to live, does it?

Do you know why the leader of this tribe is so abundant?

He found people who needed resources and he learned how to give it to them, and as a result of giving other people the resources they are looking for, he was rewarded.

Guess what?

The resources he gave them are gone. To us, they might have seemed easy because the specific resources he gave them were much more abundant when he did it.

But there's a whole large world out there where there are an abundance of resources that you're capable of giving to others.

The only question is...

Are you going to take that leap....?

Then my cat came in my room and jumped on me and woke me up from this hypnotic trance and I'm back in the here and now.

Part 2 of the story coming soon...

I think I'm going to do a future-life regression hypnosis tonight...and see how the next story ends...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[mrconder]

Interesting story...now let me tell you my story...

The Witchdoctor Part 1

That was actually quite powerful and has given me a lot to process. I don't think I'll be able to escape the hard truth in it.

I'll add a little bit more to my victim story. During the 2 years this caveman spent with this cavewoman, about 3 months into the relationship he was climbing one day, his heart rate climbed to 190+ and was highly erratic, so much so that he fell off the wall he was climbing. The cavewoman came to hold him until he heart returned to normal rhythm. They went to see the witchdoctor. The witchdoctor told him he would have to have his heart stopped and opened up for the deep magics. Days after hearing the words of the witchdoctor the caveman surrendered to a sleep he was not able to wake from for the space of many days, even unto the door of death itself. Miraculously, the caveman awoke, but was no more than skin and bones with half a heart. The watchdoctor told him he would need to eat and train for 2 months to be healthy enough to have his chest split open for the deep magic. The caveman worked very hard to be ready to receive this gift, the deep magic that was to restore his heart and make it whole again. The caveman was put under the spell of the witchdoctor not knowing if he would see the light of consciousness again. The deep magic took, the caveman was blessed and he saw light again. The caveman again would start with nothing and work very, very hard. The deep magic can only take you so far, so the caveman literally went into the wilderness, hiked 14+ miles in the dead of winter miles from civilization with his new, repaired heart and his cave woman. When the summer came, the caveman had trained so hard he could perform feats most other cavemen, even much younger cavemen could not. 10 months after surviving a coma brought on by severe pneumonia and nearly dying, 8 months after open heart surgery, this cave man was riding his mountain bike (a bit anachronistic, I know) from the bottom of a mountain, climbing 3800 feet in elevation gain in 8 miles without stopping to an altitude of 9982 feet above sea level. This caveman continues to out perform most able bodied adults.

Almost a year after that, this caveman's cavewoman was diagnosed with breast cancer. This caveman stood by her, tended to her cave and brood for months of treatment and very, very difficult and sad times. The cavewoman was healed, got her new breasts through the deep magic, and the cavewoman still saw weakness and lack in the caveman, even after all they had been though, she left him anyway. She didn't even have the heart to tell her children for over a month after she left him because it would "break their hearts," due to the bond this caveman had established with her children. He loved her children as his own blood.

So, the caveman's heart was broken again and feels more broken than ever before. Even growing up in a voodoo magic cult until he was 39 and having to come to grips with that didn't break his heart as much as the loss of this family.

So, maybe the caveman didn't have as much time as you think you reinvent himself, become sufficient within himself given everything that happened that was out of control during this time. Maybe there are limitations to what I person can do to change when very serious forces outside his control are at play.

Be that as it may. I am where I am now. I get this is my current reality, that she and those kids I loved are gone. It doesn't change the fact that the reasons the cavewoman left the caveman earlier in the story are probably accurate, it just makes it sting a lot more given what has transpired, everything we went through together. Back in January, the cavewoman wrote a note to the caveman detailing all the many qualities she loves about him, that she is happy to have him in her life, the in March, she is gone

I just thought I should add the things people don't see when they think you're sitting out on the perimeter of the tribe, sucking your thumb, waiting for death.

Let's hear what Part 2 has in store for the caveman....

 

[Medic]

Well mrconder..... Hold tight:

I'm also a system engineer (not software) working in a dead end company but make as much as your ex so you'll have to stop using that nonsense as part of your limiting beliefs.

Once you wake up and recognize you're putting all your energy into whining and the poor me story you'll be in a better place to move on to more productive paths. The difference between you and I (we are also the same age) is simply marketing; of yourself as an asset. With the same skills I've convinced my job I have greater value which they then pay me more.

BUT that's not the point either; because once your net worth passes a million you'll still be you - just with money, and you'll be as miserable as you are now because money just provides greater freedom to exercise your time as you want instead of as your j-o-b wants.

So, from one engineer to another understand that life is a process of exchanging energy with your surroundings and you can choose to optimize your time to be very efficient and rewarding. Put your energy to positive use and others will join you. You'll be successful (however you define that) and money will come.

The real enjoyment in my life comes from exchanging energy and seeing it put to good use. When you rock climb you focus on using your energy to summit the climb (ditto on your bike). Focus your energy on positive activities you want to achieve in business and similar summits will come.

Good luck.

 

[AndrewNC]

Thoughts precede actions...

When I had the thought of going to Taco Bell before....I got a good feeling and I drove there.
When I had the thought of eating a hamburger at wendys, I feel disgusted.

It's the thought and the emotion that dictates my experience. So as a witchdoctor, I learned how to attach new emotions to different thoughts....

Stories in your mind...

Nothing we talk about in our experiences from the past is happening right now.

The past is not happening...

In fact, the past isn't even real.

• When you are reading this, the time is right now.
• When you are reading this, the time is also, right now.

Open up your peripheral vision. Look all the way to the left and all the way to the right. It's the present moment, and nothing you described is real. You'll realize that the world is not a flow through time, but a movement of energy.

It's always the present moment and everything you talked about so far is nothing more than a story in your mind.

Than why does everything you listed seem and feel so real?

1. Your thoughts, and
2. Your emotions.

it just makes it sting a lot more

This stinging you feel...it's a thought, which triggers an emotion...correct?

Other than that, it's nothing.

So what if there was a way to drain the stinging emotion from that memory of her leaving? So you can think of her leaving and that unwanted emotion is gone?

Imagine for a moment floating up out of your body. Really high up so you look down at yourself from above.

Now imagine floating back in time to that event (where the stinging began...perhaps when she left you). Looking down from above, the first step is to extract whatever positive lesson you can from that event. Forget the negative, just extract the positive...

Can you do that right now?

When you have that, imagine floating back in time again an hour before that emotion existed...

Only this time, an hour before that emotion existed...a time where everything was great... float into your body and re-live that event now.

See it through your minds eye as if it's happening now. Pay attention to the sounds of one hour before...and feel the emotions you're feeling in that "one hour before" event as if you're feeling those emotions right now...

Hold onto these emotions, and notice how the stinging is gone...isn't it?

Now float back up, and float above the memory from high above...

The stinging is still gone, isn't it?

Now as you float back to right now - hold onto the positive emotions you're still holding from an hour before, and sprinkle those positive lessons all along your timeline now, and into the future, and imagine floating into your body right now.

^Using this witchdoctor technique, it releases the unwanted emotions.

Who are you?

Broken...

"I am broken..."

That negative Identity you're giving yourself...

Can you bring up a small picture in your mind, about the size of a postcard in your mind, and SEE YOURSELF in the picture as being broken... From 0-10, how intense in the emotion?

That is your self-image.

Once again that picture is a thought with an emotion attached to it.

Using a technique called EFT (YouTube Training link Here), you can drain the emotion from that unwanted identity.

"Even though I'm broken...I still love and accept myself"

Those are the words you use while doing the tapping that she outlines in her video. Do about 5 rounds of tapping until the emotion is gone, and when that happens, notice how YOU change in your picture.

Now float into a picture of you being NOT broken (whole, complete, etc.) and see and feel the emotions as if you are right now...

Notice the instant shift.

Witchdoctor stuff...

It all boils down to that everything you talk about are thoughts...and emotions...and what I outlined so far gives you the power to change your history (emotionally), change your self-perception, which changes the difference between driving to taco bell and stuffing my face with a bean burrito and eating a salad...

The reason why you're getting harsh criticism from this tribe is because most people sit around and repeat these stories from the past and re-live them day in and day out, and let the stories in their mind impact their behavior.

But in this tribe, we open up the peripheral vision, get anchored in the present moment, and see that lake off into the distance, and go towards the goals we set out for ourselves....because everything else that stops us from doing it is just a story in our mind (excuse).

Just the fact that you're still here reading this means you're not like the hundreds of others who pass by, complain and leave..

I think you have it in you...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rawr]

I think you have a golden opportunity to focus 100% on a business and see how far it takes you. What great odds.

 

[GameOver]

• I know a person who makes millions selling ordinary stones.
• I know a person who makes millions selling letters and speeches.
• I know a person who makes millions selling drones.
• I know a person who makes millions selling advice.
• I know a person who makes millions selling printers. (you know, the 3d ones? but not the kickstarter guy who invented it, he just went with the flow)
• I know a person who makes millions selling money.

Actually I think I'm more interested in a thread on this please, lol.

 

[MitchM]

That was actually quite powerful and has given me a lot to process. I don't think I'll be able to escape the hard truth in it.

I'll add a little bit more to my victim story. During the 2 years this caveman spent with this cavewoman, about 3 months into the relationship he was climbing one day, his heart rate climbed to 190+ and was highly erratic, so much so that he fell off the wall he was climbing. The cavewoman came to hold him until he heart returned to normal rhythm. They went to see the witchdoctor. The witchdoctor told him he would have to have his heart stopped and opened up for the deep magics. Days after hearing the words of the witchdoctor the caveman surrendered to a sleep he was not able to wake from for the space of many days, even unto the door of death itself. Miraculously, the caveman awoke, but was no more than skin and bones with half a heart. The watchdoctor told him he would need to eat and train for 2 months to be healthy enough to have his chest split open for the deep magic. The caveman worked very hard to be ready to receive this gift, the deep magic that was to restore his heart and make it whole again. The caveman was put under the spell of the witchdoctor not knowing if he would see the light of consciousness again. The deep magic took, the caveman was blessed and he saw light again. The caveman again would start with nothing and work very, very hard. The deep magic can only take you so far, so the caveman literally went into the wilderness, hiked 14+ miles in the dead of winter miles from civilization with his new, repaired heart and his cave woman. When the summer came, the caveman had trained so hard he could perform feats most other cavemen, even much younger cavemen could not. 10 months after surviving a coma brought on by severe pneumonia and nearly dying, 8 months after open heart surgery, this cave man was riding his mountain bike (a bit anachronistic, I know) from the bottom of a mountain, climbing 3800 feet in elevation gain in 8 miles without stopping to an altitude of 9982 feet above sea level. This caveman continues to out perform most able bodied adults.

Almost a year after that, this caveman's cavewoman was diagnosed with breast cancer. This caveman stood by her, tended to her cave and brood for months of treatment and very, very difficult and sad times. The cavewoman was healed, got her new breasts through the deep magic, and the cavewoman still saw weakness and lack in the caveman, even after all they had been though, she left him anyway. She didn't even have the heart to tell her children for over a month after she left him because it would "break their hearts," due to the bond this caveman had established with her children. He loved her children as his own blood.

So, the caveman's heart was broken again and feels more broken than ever before. Even growing up in a voodoo magic cult until he was 39 and having to come to grips with that didn't break his heart as much as the loss of this family.

So, maybe the caveman didn't have as much time as you think you reinvent himself, become sufficient within himself given everything that happened that was out of control during this time. Maybe there are limitations to what I person can do to change when very serious forces outside his control are at play.

Be that as it may. I am where I am now. I get this is my current reality, that she and those kids I loved are gone. It doesn't change the fact that the reasons the cavewoman left the caveman earlier in the story are probably accurate, it just makes it sting a lot more given what has transpired, everything we went through together. Back in January, the cavewoman wrote a note to the caveman detailing all the many qualities she loves about him, that she is happy to have him in her life, the in March, she is gone

I just thought I should add the things people don't see when they think you're sitting out on the perimeter of the tribe, sucking your thumb, waiting for death.

Let's hear what Part 2 has in store for the caveman....

I am sorry for your misfortunes, but as others have said - and as you have acknowledged - it is in the past. Sure, it's not like you can just pretend that it didn't happen, but you can reframe it.

You lived through those hard times. You could very easily not be here. Then, after surviving, your very spirit comes under attack. That's what it feels like when someone leaves you, doesn't it?

Well, here you are now. Behind your computer with a blank slate and a job to keep you afloat. The fact of the matter is that what you are staring at right now is boundless opportunity. What are your present burdens? Like @AndrewNC pointed out through his story - your present burdens reside in your mind. In your past. The past can't weigh you down or lift you up. It no longer exists.

The pivotal decision that you need to make right now is whether you will choose to be a victim or to be empowered. I've had to make this decision over and over again in the past few years. Every day I feel more and more like I am truly blessed for my struggles. As you begin to reframe your experiences (even the bad ones) in the light of opportunity your frame will become stronger and stronger.

Right now you are asking us to show you a way out but first you need to take a look in. Mind precedes action.

Good luck man.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[GoodluckChuck]

This thread is an example of the good that comes out of the human growth and development that is propagated by this forum and the community built around it. Everyone here started somewhere and through purposeful action has developed themselves into people that naturally try and solve problems for other people. Its the act of helping others that not only attracts wealth but also satisfaction in life. It's hard not to feel good when you're helping others. I hope to someday see mrconder giving someone useful advice on this forum and telling his story of how he successfully climbed the mountain of his own self doubt and destruction to reach the summit of happiness and freedom that he though he would never find.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

This thread is an example of the good that comes out of the human growth and development that is propagated by this forum and the community built around it.

Thank you.

I can't think of very many people who haven't had to plow through obstacles on their way to a peaceful place. Whether it's health issues, family drama, or social constructs, every story will have their trials. The question is, how will we react to them. Do they define us? Justify future inaction? Labeled as FTE's? Do they encourage radical shifts into commitment over interest?

 

[Mattie]

I'm 47, I have no net worth

I think this is a statement, I've had to personally eliminate from my life. I advise you to do the same. How much are you worth? This is the question. Are you worthy to have a woman in your life who isn't hot, but one who is nurturing (Inner beauty) versus (Outer beauty).

I can't tell you how many men get stuck on the self-limiting beliefs, a woman's beauty comes from the outside. What are you really attracted to in woman? In my experience I figured out personality typing that I wasn't attracted to people because of their outer exterior, but their personality type. Some personality types you think are healthy because you have the urge to merge are actually not healthy for you. At least that is what I've learned.

Men need to learn to stop allowing dominate women manipulate their emotions, thoughts, feelings, five senses by Hot women. Women need to do the same and stop allowing dominate Hot men to do the same.

Take your personal power back. Take control of your life. Love and Money are one in the same. Depending on how much you believe your worth is how you allow other individuals to treat you. Believe it or not I learned this principle in this Fastlane Forum. I'm and INFJ and the beginning of this journey I went up to bat with dominate personalities in here. Sure, I could have wimped out, back down, and quit the Fastlane Forum. I know some individuals have because they couldn't take the dominate Extroverts going up to bat with them.

If you want wealth in love and money it has to be in balance within in your self. What are your self-limiting beliefs about women? I bet you have this specific vision what she looks like, where she comes from, and a long list. It's supposed to happen this way or that way defined by beliefs. Throw it all out! Start fresh, investigate deeper than the flesh. The surface is frosting, not the layers of cake, and what makes the woman beneath the surface is the filling.

Women have an attitude in 2017. Frankly, they're all becoming whole and complete themselves. Independent. Interdependent. They are tired of waiting on men. They aren't wanting to be the Leave it to Beaver, house wife anymore, prim and proper, obedient, and silenced. Some men are still hooked in the 50's model of women have their place.

While I"m not a feminist, and I don't agree with everything, I believe the world is changing and relationships are changing the same way. I wouldn't depend on a woman or man to stick around in your life. Stability in 2017 is building your own future, standing on your own two feet, and watching out for yourself financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

I have to say, I've learned the hard way myself. Trusting someone else with your life is unstable in a world which doesn't value relationships and love. Them days are long gone, and money and greed seem to be the focal point. I feel for all the women and men I speak with, but fortunately, the world is mostly about abandonment, rejection, slicing and dicing, and looking for the illusion of perfection in the masculine and feminine. They might have already had a person who was compatible, but because people aren't thinking, unconscious, and stuck in this illusion of perfection they're trying to find, they miss the person because they're stuck in emotional and mental pain.

Forget the Hottie! It's not about you. It's about her. For building wealth, the wealth begins with your mindset, thinking, beliefs, vision, emotions. It's not all about heart and mind, but also the guts. The will power to push through all the adversity.

Short-term gains never get you very far. Short-term self-gratification sucks your life away and your money. One of the biggest things that will eat your wealth is every avenue of Entertainment. I believe this is where most people get stuck. They're escaping life, reality, and want to feel good all the time. Pleasure over success. Reminds me of the King sitting at the table with a big feast, hot women, entertainment, and stuck in his ego, and than the enemy sneaks in his kingdom and steals his wealth.

Entertainment is a distraction to success. How much will you sacrifice to get to where you want to be in love and money? What will you value more? What will you exchange on the road to wealth? Will you leave the old you behind? Will you sacrifice beliefs, thoughts, emotions, feelings, negative patterns, negative actions, negative outcomes. Will you sacrifice pleasure short-term for long-term benefits? I admit it sucks sometimes, but I don't see how building wealth is created by playing all the time.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[PoGOOD]

I'm 47, I have no net worth, work for a dead end company, and my skills haven't been updated in awhile.

C'mon man! 47 is not the number to be feared of Zig Ziglar was doing his best presentations at the age of 83, many other people were getting their names well in their fifties or sixties. It is still a lot of days, hours and minutes in front of you and you better start using them right.

Fastlane is a holy grail here - I don't think it is a perfect road for everyone - especially for those of us that are older than 30. You have so much more choices...

What I'd do if I were you - I would instantly pick one direction and stick to it for 3-4 months at least. Do not log into Facebook or any other brainwashing time waster, focus religiously on your chosen topic and do nothing else. This way you will regain self-esteem as it probably is what you are missing the most right now. Sex, new romance, bringing work-family balance to your life might wait for that much.

Most people (wantrepreneurs) I talk to during my coaching sessions confess they need motivation do start any action. I always respond in the same way and will advise it to you as well: action creates momentum, momentum creates a need for more action, only this need will give you the motivation necessary for succeeding. That's how this system operates.

You could spend another week or two reading this forum and you will find much more examples like you mentioned with regard to MJ's way to money. But look around you. Google succeeded DESPITE Yahoo being #1 for years, Tesla succeeded DESPITE all major automotive manufacturers were in the market for ages, new startups emerge every day in most countries around the world and only a fraction of them brings to the market an original idea or tool.

Don't accept "being late to the game" as an excuse - use what you have inside your head, utilise your job experience, contact network and... start pushing.

If you keep doing this for 3-4 months - you will see the difference. If not in your revenue - in your mindset for sure.

Fingers crossed for you coming back to the bright side!

 

[PoGOOD]

LOL, what a great first post. No wonder he is 47 with $0. But just in case he does come back. I'd like some more information about his insanely hot "now single" girlfriend who makes $250k a year. Pics?

I'd also ask for a phone number - a picture without a number could be so much more painful

 

[MarekvBeek]

Interesting story...now let me tell you my story...

The Witchdoctor Part 1

Last night I did a past life regression hypnosis.

After going deep into trance, my soul teleported back many many lifetimes and it was about 15,000 years ago. It was some type of tribal era where everybody lived in the wilderness. People came together to form small groups for security, connection, and protection.

Let's call them tribes...Tribes in the wilderness.

Me? I was a witchdoctor who lived in a cave on the mountain doing my own thing. In this timeframe, I developed some type of special powers where I can cast spells on people and predict the future for them. From time to time I come down to this village to share in the festivities. When someone is lost and wandering through the wilderness with no direction, I cast a spell on them and point them in the direction of this tribe.

During this past life hypnosis session, I come back to this tribe to find a strange caveman come in from the wilderness and greet the tribe members for the first time.

This man comes into the tribe battered and broken, and begins to tell his story...

Many moons ago, he was roaming through this life and met a cave girl who could surely be the alpha of her own tribe. She knew how to hunt, fish, make fires, gather resources, and was very skilled at communicating with the people she meets in the wilderness. She surely lived in abundance and could thrive on her own.

When she met this man that is in front of me now, she saw something in him...

Do you know what that one thing was, which attracted her to him?

He was a strong man, more than capable of gathering an abundance of resources himself...and enough to share with others. Filled with confidence in himself and his abilities, he roamed through the wilderness with confidence. While he compared himself to tribal leaders who had much more than him, he never realized that he was gathering more than enough resources on his own...more than most people out in the world.

He took a moment to stop comparing, and appreciate and be grateful for that at least...

In the past, she came across many weak men wandering through the wilderness with no purpose or direction. They were simply lost, wanderers, trying to leech off of her ability to gather resources and abundance for them. When a long, dark winter was about to come, they weren't confident enough to go off and gather resources by themselves, and they relied on her to take care of them when times got tough.

But then she met this one man, who was different. He has the skills, he has the confidence, and they begin walking their journey together. It was assumed they would walk through the wilderness for the rest of their lives together...

During the spring and summer, she continued to be that strong cave-woman and continued to gather resources with abundance. She pushed herself to new heights and new levels. Her skills always improving and always getting stronger and more confident with herself. She taught herself how to make fire out of nothing...

And he thought he could be reliant on her...

Then this caveman she was with stopped evolving....he stopped growing.

Despite gathering resources on his own... The resources he was bringing in quickly got drained away. He gave it away to others, and he couldn't hold onto the resources he was making...he was careless and didn't properly manage what he has.

He struggled in holding onto them..

He was always back to zero...

What could he do in order to build up the resources to new heights that will last him throughout the winter?

At least he has this one skill-set that keeps him just above zero.

As the fall rolled around, he was barely getting by. He had enough resources to survive, but he was always one bad hunt away from failure. She stuck around for a while because inside she knew that he could evolve, he could grow and he could unleash that strong confidence that was been hiding within him all along.

He could continue to be that man he was when they first met. He could continue to shine out those qualities she originally saw in him...She was ready and excited for him to evolve and grow through this life with her.

But he never did.

He never taught himself the new skills...he never chose to challenge himself.

And then winter begins to roll around.

He became dependent on her...he thought he would be safe with her. And she sensed that he was about to start leeching off of her like the rest of the men she pushes away.

That strong confident man she once met went into hiding...and for quite some time now, it appeared that he was gone..

So she left him for greener pastures. That one thing inside of him never shined out and she was no longer attracted to him..

And that's when the man wanders around the wilderness on his own for many many moons before coming into this village to share his story with us. A story of struggle and depression.

To anyone reading this, it's clear as day why she left him. It's clear why he is struggling to get by. Can't you see it? Why would he want to be with him?

He is feeling sorry for himself. He isn't teaching himself those new skills. He lets the story of his past get in the way of what he could choose to be doing now.

What could he choose to be doing now?

What could he do to make him thrive?

What could he be doing now that would connect him back with that strong confident man who he truly is deep inside, ready and capable to learn these new skills and to evolve and grow, and be his own man?

So here is this newcomer to the village; standing here today with a critical, pivotal decision to make.

1. Does he continue to live wrapped up in these stories of the past and not do anything about it?
2. Or does he choose to be that strong confident caveman who can survive, no...thrive...on his own in the wilderness?

He came in here broken and destroyed, wrapped up in his stories from the past.

But that's the past and that's gone now, so I walk up to him and I tell him:

You have to look into the future. What kind of life do you want to live? Do you want to continue and struggle and feel sorry for yourself and barely get by like you did in the past?

Or do you want to be that strong, confident man who has the character traits and throws himself into the wilderness despite fear.

You can choose to continue to evolve and grow as a man, and develop these traits that make you dependent on nobody; regardless if you know what to do or not.

Hell..simply the fact that you choose to walk forward despite not having and direction or purpose means that you're already confident enough to do anything...that's confidence in itself.

Take that first step into the unknown...and you'll realize the confidence is already here

You'll face your fair share of challenges in the wilderness on your own. You'll get thrown down, beat up, but it's what you do in this moment right when this happens that turns you into:

1. The man with the most resources.
2. The child who sucks on his thumb on the outskirts of this village, crying about the past, left to barely get by...and eventually die...feeling sorry for yourself. Telling these stories over and over in your head.

So here is this caveman who came to this village in search for the answers....and this tribe gave him the answers he needed to hear.

He heard my words. He heard the words of those who live here in abundance. He's skeptical, he's fearful, but he now knows one thing...we don't have the answers he is looking for.

To truly be initiated into this tribe, and this abundant life he wants....he has to prove himself and find the answers himself.

Not with his words, but with his actions.

So we tell him:

Go off into the wilderness. Face these trials and tribulations. Develop these character traits. Learn these new skills to gather these resources. And then one day you'll be that man who is even more abundant and strong than she is...

And she'll notice you. She'll notice how much you changed, and how you're not longer dependent on her for what you're searching for.

That you're no longer dependent on anyone for anything.

Because you learned how to thrive in the wilderness on your own. And that's one bad-a$$ accomplishment.

So in this vision I had from the past life, I go up to this man and I present him a challenge and a nudge in the right direction:

1. Go off in to the wilderness. Find someone who is struggling with something in their lives...anything....

And offer your help. Find out what resources they need. Get the resources yourself, and give it to them. If you don't have the skills or knowledge to get this resource for them, you learn it. By doing. By trying. By taking action.

In fact, if this caveman goes out and learns new skills to bring resources to someone else...he would be doing more than just learning what it takes to make it in this world (by helping others), but he would be growing more confident in himself along the way. Wouldn't you agree?

or I could tell him.

2. Don't.

Feel sorry for yourself, live in your past, and continue to play the victim card, be defeated, and live a lonely, depressing, shattered life where you'll always be struggling...

The caveman who barely survived in the wilderness...

Not the life you want to live, does it?

Do you know why the leader of this tribe is so abundant?

He found people who needed resources and he learned how to give it to them, and as a result of giving other people the resources they are looking for, he was rewarded.

Guess what?

The resources he gave them are gone. To us, they might have seemed easy because the specific resources he gave them were much more abundant when he did it.

But there's a whole large world out there where there are an abundance of resources that you're capable of giving to others.

The only question is...

Are you going to take that leap....?

Then my cat came in my room and jumped on me and woke me up from this hypnotic trance and I'm back in the here and now.

Part 2 of the story coming soon...

I think I'm going to do a future-life regression hypnosis tonight...and see how the next story ends...

This is one of the most amazing posts I've ever seen on this forum. @mrconder you need to print this post and read it every night and morning. Heck, even I should do it!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[azntitan]

Personally, I think a man should never date "up".
It just causes too many problems. So your GF was going to break up with you eventually. Nothing you could really do as it seems that she was on another level from you both physically, financially, and from the depressive tone of your post, mentally.

So let that go first of all.

Millionaire Fast lane isn't going to solve all your problems.
If you're 47 with zero net worth then to me that symbolizes you have had zero issue with doing what you've been doing your entire life. Why do you want to change all of a sudden? TO get your "hot gf" back?

If you make 80k a year you have plenty of women to date. It's not a bad salary and you don't sound like a risk taker or entrepreneur type at all. Sorry bud but I just don't think you have it in you. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Hate to be all cynical but your entire post just screams to me like you're thinking emotionally. Millionaire Fast Lane is not gonna get you your lamborghini or your hot gf back. It requires lots of time, huge balls, and lots of MISTAKES along the way. If you aren't even willing to make mistakes your attempt at change is dead in the water.

I think you should just continue what you're doing at your job and date someone more in your league. You'll be way happier.

some Rabbi Wisdom:

Men should step up when choosing friends, and step down when choosing a wife.

 

[PoGOOD]

People often attach 2 ideas or circumstances to each other and view them as 1 problem.

"I WANT to build a business, BUT I have no money"
"I WANT to build a business, BUT I don't want my health to suffer"
"I WANT to build a business, BUT I don't have time"

Changing the BUT to AND, helps you disassociate the 2 from each other. From there you can solve for the AND while keeping your WANT in tact.

"I WANT to build a business, AND I have no money"
"I WANT to build a business, AND I don't want my health to suffer"
"I WANT to build a business, AND I don't have time"

I love it! I use this idea for years in my coaching but you packed it so neatly. Thanks!

 

[PoGOOD]

[...] it seems that she was on another level from you both physically, financially, and from the depressive tone of your post, mentally.

I think you made an assumption "the guy is a blob" without reading his post about rock climbing and fear of becoming obese when pursuing fastlane business...

Using analogy - I will sell you my "Rabbi Wisdom" I learned from an old Englishman:
"Never ASSUME anything, because doing so you can make an a$$ of U and ME" (a$$/U/ME)

Hope you don't mind Azntitan...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[PoGOOD]

Actually I think I'm more interested in a thread on this please, lol.

Not only you GameOver

 

[azntitan]

I think you made an assumption "the guy is a blob" without reading his post about rock climbing and fear of becoming obese when pursuing fastlane business...

I actually didn't assume anything about him physically, that would be silly to do so on an internet forum.
What I meant but didn't express accurately was that no guy, unless it's the .001% chance that he's a model, is going to match up physically to an "insanely hot" female.

Hell he could be a millionaire with model-looks and he STILL not might be able to hold onto her.
The competition for women like that (from his descriptions it seems like she's in the top 1% of looks, and definitely in the 0.1% of income) is going to be insane. So my overall point was more that he doesn't necessarily need to draw any conclusions about his self worth from being dumped. Why get so down on yourself? He has a solid job and plenty of eligible women would go for a guy like that. Money != confidence.

OP, if you want to go for the Fastlane, that's F*cking awesome and you should go for it. But going through the Fastlane process IMO is incompatible with impressing women. Real entrepreneurs are going to look like failures 90% of the time because of all the risks and mistakes they make.

If you are over your ex and that is totally unrelated to what your'e trying to accomplish here then I'm sorry for "ASSUMING" and you can safely disregard 90% of what i wrote