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If you make 85k per year and have 0 net worth at the age of 47 then you've clearly been living on the sidewalk.
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Clearly.
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Free registration at the forum removes this block.If you make 85k per year and have 0 net worth at the age of 47 then you've clearly been living on the sidewalk.
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welcome to the forum, sorry you've arrived by such painful circumstances. From the title, sounds like you've lead a scripted life. At least you didn't get married and lose half your shit in a messy divorce
- hit the gym, lose some fat and gain some muscle mass. You'll look and feel much better, and you will have the momentum to generate more quick wins in other areas
- .
I'm worried if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer and I'll become a fat slob like most people at the apex of the technology game. All the top tech people I know personally do not take care of themselves and are headed for an early grave.
I was married for 17 years. I did loose my shit. I still pay $1066 in child support.
This is about the only area I'm doing well in right now. I'm an avid rock climber, skiier, moutain biker, and hiker. I look 10 years younger than I am. I'm worried if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer and I'll become a fat slob like most people at the apex of the technology game. All the top tech people I know personally do not take care of themselves and are headed for an early grave.
Welcome.
Beneficial things to grasp, in no particular order: humility, empathy and manners.
Not trying to be a dick, but you should read the book again.
Ignoring the passive aggressive left-handed compliment about falling into a successful business...Of course there are methods that worked yesterday that don't work today, but the fundamentals don't change. Having a system that enables you to recognize and leverage opportunities is what we talk about, not fly-by-night hustles.
You're in the top 1%. Downgrade and live off 40k, start investing the rest.
I'm worried if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer and I'll become a fat slob like most people at the apex of the technology game. All the top tech people I know personally do not take care of themselves and are headed for an early grave.
I'm 47, I have no net worth, work for a dead end company
I could spin my wheels trying business after business while falling further and further behind in my current career and potentially loose my ability to support myself.
Any advice is appreciate.
false dilemma is a type of informal fallacy in which something is falsely claimed to be an "either/or" situation, when in fact there is at least one additional option.
if engage in fastlane pursuits, my health will suffer
I say we change mrconder's username to Mr-FalseDilemma.
But then again, if we remove the false dilemmas, what would be left to prop up the excuses?
I appreciate the replies, especially the harsh ones. Clearly, I have a lot to work out with in head. Thanks everyone.
I'm 47, I have no net worth, work for a dead end company, and my skills haven't been updated in awhile. I'm a systems engineer (not software), but I haven't been challenged in a long time. My insanely hot girlfriend just broke up with me. Not only is she beautiful, but is a COO for a global company making around $250k a year. I think I developed a false sense of security because we had been talking about marriage. I felt if anything happened with my current employment, I'd be safe with her, have time to re-tool and get things worked out. I suppose I thought we would be going into retirement together.
We broke up two months ago. I've been shell shocked and confidence is completely gone. I've been reading books, trying to figure out what direction to take my life. I read the Rational Male and it really got me thinking my lack of confidence stems from my current financial position. Next, I read The Millionaire Fastlane . I want to believe I have it in me to make something happen, a hail mary before I need to chill and stop working. On the other hand, I could focus on my energy on a career pivot, or just sharpening my current skills. I don't have the time or energy for both.
I feel like I have a critical, pivotal decision to make here and I don't have any room for error. I don't know I'm quite sold on the "fastlane" approach, because so many people doing this are just trying to find affiliate products to sell, or putting out their own version of "how to make money," e-books. I'm really leery of all self-help authors who make their money telling others how to get rich. I realize DeMarco made money in the early days of the internet, stumbling upon leadgen and other strategies back when there was competitively little competition. I'd like to seem him do it again right now with no credit, no net worth, and know name recognition. I don't want to be another guy mucking around with making websites to drive traffic. It seems there are way to many people doing that, so it fails at least 1 of the requirements.
At any rate, I guess I have some degree of fear here. I make 85k a year. I could pivot into technical project management or an IT leadership role and make well over 6 figures, but for how long? Alternatively, I could spin my wheels trying business after business while falling further and further behind in my current career and potentially loose my ability to support myself.
Any advice is appreciate. I know all you guys have already drank the kool-aide and are probably going to be very one sided, and even have some harsh words for me, but that's ok. I'm asking for it here.
Interesting story...now let me tell you my story...
The Witchdoctor Part 1
it just makes it sting a lot more
- I know a person who makes millions selling ordinary stones.
- I know a person who makes millions selling letters and speeches.
- I know a person who makes millions selling drones.
- I know a person who makes millions selling advice.
- I know a person who makes millions selling printers. (you know, the 3d ones? but not the kickstarter guy who invented it, he just went with the flow)
- I know a person who makes millions selling money.
That was actually quite powerful and has given me a lot to process. I don't think I'll be able to escape the hard truth in it.
I'll add a little bit more to my victim story. During the 2 years this caveman spent with this cavewoman, about 3 months into the relationship he was climbing one day, his heart rate climbed to 190+ and was highly erratic, so much so that he fell off the wall he was climbing. The cavewoman came to hold him until he heart returned to normal rhythm. They went to see the witchdoctor. The witchdoctor told him he would have to have his heart stopped and opened up for the deep magics. Days after hearing the words of the witchdoctor the caveman surrendered to a sleep he was not able to wake from for the space of many days, even unto the door of death itself. Miraculously, the caveman awoke, but was no more than skin and bones with half a heart. The watchdoctor told him he would need to eat and train for 2 months to be healthy enough to have his chest split open for the deep magic. The caveman worked very hard to be ready to receive this gift, the deep magic that was to restore his heart and make it whole again. The caveman was put under the spell of the witchdoctor not knowing if he would see the light of consciousness again. The deep magic took, the caveman was blessed and he saw light again. The caveman again would start with nothing and work very, very hard. The deep magic can only take you so far, so the caveman literally went into the wilderness, hiked 14+ miles in the dead of winter miles from civilization with his new, repaired heart and his cave woman. When the summer came, the caveman had trained so hard he could perform feats most other cavemen, even much younger cavemen could not. 10 months after surviving a coma brought on by severe pneumonia and nearly dying, 8 months after open heart surgery, this cave man was riding his mountain bike (a bit anachronistic, I know) from the bottom of a mountain, climbing 3800 feet in elevation gain in 8 miles without stopping to an altitude of 9982 feet above sea level. This caveman continues to out perform most able bodied adults.
Almost a year after that, this caveman's cavewoman was diagnosed with breast cancer. This caveman stood by her, tended to her cave and brood for months of treatment and very, very difficult and sad times. The cavewoman was healed, got her new breasts through the deep magic, and the cavewoman still saw weakness and lack in the caveman, even after all they had been though, she left him anyway. She didn't even have the heart to tell her children for over a month after she left him because it would "break their hearts," due to the bond this caveman had established with her children. He loved her children as his own blood.
So, the caveman's heart was broken again and feels more broken than ever before. Even growing up in a voodoo magic cult until he was 39 and having to come to grips with that didn't break his heart as much as the loss of this family.
So, maybe the caveman didn't have as much time as you think you reinvent himself, become sufficient within himself given everything that happened that was out of control during this time. Maybe there are limitations to what I person can do to change when very serious forces outside his control are at play.
Be that as it may. I am where I am now. I get this is my current reality, that she and those kids I loved are gone. It doesn't change the fact that the reasons the cavewoman left the caveman earlier in the story are probably accurate, it just makes it sting a lot more given what has transpired, everything we went through together. Back in January, the cavewoman wrote a note to the caveman detailing all the many qualities she loves about him, that she is happy to have him in her life, the in March, she is gone
I just thought I should add the things people don't see when they think you're sitting out on the perimeter of the tribe, sucking your thumb, waiting for death.
Let's hear what Part 2 has in store for the caveman....
This thread is an example of the good that comes out of the human growth and development that is propagated by this forum and the community built around it.
I think this is a statement, I've had to personally eliminate from my life. I advise you to do the same. How much are you worth? This is the question. Are you worthy to have a woman in your life who isn't hot, but one who is nurturing (Inner beauty) versus (Outer beauty).I'm 47, I have no net worth
I'm 47, I have no net worth, work for a dead end company, and my skills haven't been updated in awhile.
LOL, what a great first post. No wonder he is 47 with $0. But just in case he does come back. I'd like some more information about his insanely hot "now single" girlfriend who makes $250k a year. Pics?
Interesting story...now let me tell you my story...
The Witchdoctor Part 1
Last night I did a past life regression hypnosis.
After going deep into trance, my soul teleported back many many lifetimes and it was about 15,000 years ago. It was some type of tribal era where everybody lived in the wilderness. People came together to form small groups for security, connection, and protection.
Let's call them tribes...Tribes in the wilderness.
Me? I was a witchdoctor who lived in a cave on the mountain doing my own thing. In this timeframe, I developed some type of special powers where I can cast spells on people and predict the future for them. From time to time I come down to this village to share in the festivities. When someone is lost and wandering through the wilderness with no direction, I cast a spell on them and point them in the direction of this tribe.
During this past life hypnosis session, I come back to this tribe to find a strange caveman come in from the wilderness and greet the tribe members for the first time.
This man comes into the tribe battered and broken, and begins to tell his story...
Many moons ago, he was roaming through this life and met a cave girl who could surely be the alpha of her own tribe. She knew how to hunt, fish, make fires, gather resources, and was very skilled at communicating with the people she meets in the wilderness. She surely lived in abundance and could thrive on her own.
When she met this man that is in front of me now, she saw something in him...
Do you know what that one thing was, which attracted her to him?
He was a strong man, more than capable of gathering an abundance of resources himself...and enough to share with others. Filled with confidence in himself and his abilities, he roamed through the wilderness with confidence. While he compared himself to tribal leaders who had much more than him, he never realized that he was gathering more than enough resources on his own...more than most people out in the world.
He took a moment to stop comparing, and appreciate and be grateful for that at least...
In the past, she came across many weak men wandering through the wilderness with no purpose or direction. They were simply lost, wanderers, trying to leech off of her ability to gather resources and abundance for them. When a long, dark winter was about to come, they weren't confident enough to go off and gather resources by themselves, and they relied on her to take care of them when times got tough.
But then she met this one man, who was different. He has the skills, he has the confidence, and they begin walking their journey together. It was assumed they would walk through the wilderness for the rest of their lives together...
During the spring and summer, she continued to be that strong cave-woman and continued to gather resources with abundance. She pushed herself to new heights and new levels. Her skills always improving and always getting stronger and more confident with herself. She taught herself how to make fire out of nothing...
And he thought he could be reliant on her...
Then this caveman she was with stopped evolving....he stopped growing.
Despite gathering resources on his own... The resources he was bringing in quickly got drained away. He gave it away to others, and he couldn't hold onto the resources he was making...he was careless and didn't properly manage what he has.
He struggled in holding onto them..
He was always back to zero...
What could he do in order to build up the resources to new heights that will last him throughout the winter?
At least he has this one skill-set that keeps him just above zero.
As the fall rolled around, he was barely getting by. He had enough resources to survive, but he was always one bad hunt away from failure. She stuck around for a while because inside she knew that he could evolve, he could grow and he could unleash that strong confidence that was been hiding within him all along.
He could continue to be that man he was when they first met. He could continue to shine out those qualities she originally saw in him...She was ready and excited for him to evolve and grow through this life with her.
But he never did.
He never taught himself the new skills...he never chose to challenge himself.
And then winter begins to roll around.
He became dependent on her...he thought he would be safe with her. And she sensed that he was about to start leeching off of her like the rest of the men she pushes away.
That strong confident man she once met went into hiding...and for quite some time now, it appeared that he was gone..
So she left him for greener pastures. That one thing inside of him never shined out and she was no longer attracted to him..
And that's when the man wanders around the wilderness on his own for many many moons before coming into this village to share his story with us. A story of struggle and depression.
To anyone reading this, it's clear as day why she left him. It's clear why he is struggling to get by. Can't you see it? Why would he want to be with him?
He is feeling sorry for himself. He isn't teaching himself those new skills. He lets the story of his past get in the way of what he could choose to be doing now.
What could he choose to be doing now?
What could he do to make him thrive?
What could he be doing now that would connect him back with that strong confident man who he truly is deep inside, ready and capable to learn these new skills and to evolve and grow, and be his own man?
So here is this newcomer to the village; standing here today with a critical, pivotal decision to make.
He came in here broken and destroyed, wrapped up in his stories from the past.
- Does he continue to live wrapped up in these stories of the past and not do anything about it?
- Or does he choose to be that strong confident caveman who can survive, no...thrive...on his own in the wilderness?
But that's the past and that's gone now, so I walk up to him and I tell him:
You have to look into the future. What kind of life do you want to live? Do you want to continue and struggle and feel sorry for yourself and barely get by like you did in the past?
Or do you want to be that strong, confident man who has the character traits and throws himself into the wilderness despite fear.
You can choose to continue to evolve and grow as a man, and develop these traits that make you dependent on nobody; regardless if you know what to do or not.
Hell..simply the fact that you choose to walk forward despite not having and direction or purpose means that you're already confident enough to do anything...that's confidence in itself.
Take that first step into the unknown...and you'll realize the confidence is already here
You'll face your fair share of challenges in the wilderness on your own. You'll get thrown down, beat up, but it's what you do in this moment right when this happens that turns you into:
So here is this caveman who came to this village in search for the answers....and this tribe gave him the answers he needed to hear.
- The man with the most resources.
- The child who sucks on his thumb on the outskirts of this village, crying about the past, left to barely get by...and eventually die...feeling sorry for yourself. Telling these stories over and over in your head.
He heard my words. He heard the words of those who live here in abundance. He's skeptical, he's fearful, but he now knows one thing...we don't have the answers he is looking for.
To truly be initiated into this tribe, and this abundant life he wants....he has to prove himself and find the answers himself.
Not with his words, but with his actions.
So we tell him:
Go off into the wilderness. Face these trials and tribulations. Develop these character traits. Learn these new skills to gather these resources. And then one day you'll be that man who is even more abundant and strong than she is...
And she'll notice you. She'll notice how much you changed, and how you're not longer dependent on her for what you're searching for.
That you're no longer dependent on anyone for anything.
Because you learned how to thrive in the wilderness on your own. And that's one bad-a$$ accomplishment.
So in this vision I had from the past life, I go up to this man and I present him a challenge and a nudge in the right direction:
1. Go off in to the wilderness. Find someone who is struggling with something in their lives...anything....
And offer your help. Find out what resources they need. Get the resources yourself, and give it to them. If you don't have the skills or knowledge to get this resource for them, you learn it. By doing. By trying. By taking action.
In fact, if this caveman goes out and learns new skills to bring resources to someone else...he would be doing more than just learning what it takes to make it in this world (by helping others), but he would be growing more confident in himself along the way. Wouldn't you agree?
or I could tell him.
2. Don't.
Feel sorry for yourself, live in your past, and continue to play the victim card, be defeated, and live a lonely, depressing, shattered life where you'll always be struggling...
The caveman who barely survived in the wilderness...
Not the life you want to live, does it?
Do you know why the leader of this tribe is so abundant?
He found people who needed resources and he learned how to give it to them, and as a result of giving other people the resources they are looking for, he was rewarded.
Guess what?
The resources he gave them are gone. To us, they might have seemed easy because the specific resources he gave them were much more abundant when he did it.
But there's a whole large world out there where there are an abundance of resources that you're capable of giving to others.
The only question is...
Are you going to take that leap....?
Then my cat came in my room and jumped on me and woke me up from this hypnotic trance and I'm back in the here and now.
Part 2 of the story coming soon...
I think I'm going to do a future-life regression hypnosis tonight...and see how the next story ends...
People often attach 2 ideas or circumstances to each other and view them as 1 problem.
"I WANT to build a business, BUT I have no money"
"I WANT to build a business, BUT I don't want my health to suffer"
"I WANT to build a business, BUT I don't have time"
Changing the BUT to AND, helps you disassociate the 2 from each other. From there you can solve for the AND while keeping your WANT in tact.
"I WANT to build a business, AND I have no money"
"I WANT to build a business, AND I don't want my health to suffer"
"I WANT to build a business, AND I don't have time"
[...] it seems that she was on another level from you both physically, financially, and from the depressive tone of your post, mentally.
Actually I think I'm more interested in a thread on this please, lol.
I think you made an assumption "the guy is a blob" without reading his post about rock climbing and fear of becoming obese when pursuing fastlane business...
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