I made a decision to finally take control of my life - Need advices

[Vigilante]

Welcome to the forum!

The headline of your thread is the most important sentence:

"I made a decision to finally take control of my life."

So do it. Stop talking about it, stop bitching about it, stop thinking about it, and make something happen.

You may succeed. You may fail. Welcome to life. But make a move. Nobody can do this for you. You have to decide where you are headed, and go there. You are asking people to weigh in on your life's biggest decision. This is ALL YOU. Nobody else can tell you what to do. If they did, they would probably be wrong because they don't know what you are capable of. Do you?

When I was 19, I had an apartment (that my girlfriend lived in), two cars, and a job. You're 22. You are out of excuses. Time to decide.

Hang around here. Read 30 threads in the next day or two. Get inspired. Then get off the couch and go make something happen.

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/fo...sions-you.html?highlight=Can't+Make+Decisions

 

[mimedia]

My grandma's brother from Australia tells me how it's not as easy as I think to become independent in Australia. I just laughed at how he forgot where he came from. Then we compared the wages and the opportunities. He said nothing. Silence. Of course he won't. He has a house worth 300 000 dollars. My father makes 6000 dollars a year.

You laughed? Really? It doesn't sound like he forgot where he came from at all - if it's so easy, why don't you do it? He started exactly where you are. Why don't you go to Australia and try to make it if it's so easy?

He was silent because he realized no matter what he said, you wouldn't get it. Do you really think a $300,000 house just falls into the lap of every immigrant that moves to Australia? Stop assuming other people's success is a result of luck and circumstance and take responsibility for your own life.

I think I know now why I keep failing. Because every action I take or decision I make is done out of lack. I wanted to accomplish so many things in life, but I was always failing to achieve that what I lacked. James Altucher sums this up good in this post THE ONLY THING YOU’LL EVER NEED Altucher Confidential. I am behaving exactly the same. I am putting my happiness on things and circumstances. Everything that involves “I want to be X†means first (by definition), “I am not.†I don't want to be a NOT.

From this thread, it seems like you fail because you give up before you really start anything, and you assume your circumstances are out of your control. You created a thread titled "I made a decision to finally take control of my life", then the entire post is filled to the absolute brim with excuses and self-pity, ending with a plea for someone to "point me to something to ease my journey".

Also, its been 5 weeks since you started this thread, and you're already talking about failure.

Lot of people say, since the internet there are no more excuses. I don't have internet access (I do this from another PC).

That is an excuse. You're on a PC with internet right now aren't you? So you do have internet access. I know VAs from the Philippines who feed their families off of the income they earn working out of internet cafes.

We talked about my situation and he said I should go to work on those cruise ships. He was supposed to work there himself, but his girlfriend became pregnant and he didn't. He has regrets. But I don't want to do that. That's just not for me. Or maybe I should go and trade my time for money. The money is mediocre according to US standards, but a lot of people from here are going on those cruise ships. They can either do that or work for 300 dollars a month. Or kill themselves.

If you can't afford internet access and your father is threatening to kick you out if you don't get a job, trading time for money might be a good start. Its kinda gross when people with no money and live with their parents look down their noses at people who "trade time for money".

And Cleaveland, you are right man. I shoud consider a career in writing. If I ever get to the fastlane, that's my road. When I have a PC or/and an internet connecion I will write a book or start a blog. Not for the money, but the freedom potential is huge. Although that seems light years away.

You said you wanted someone to point you to something to ease your journey. No one can ease your journey, because from the sounds of it, you haven't even started it yet. But I can definitely point some stuff out that should help you, if you actually take action:

1. Stop feeling bad for yourself. Stop limiting yourself with self-defeating thoughts. You might not even realize you're doing it, but its all over this thread. Start monitoring yourself for excuses and stamp them out.

2. Start earning money, so you can buy a PC and internet. Get over your irrational fear of trading time for money - it's an excuse for inaction. If you don't want to work for local wages, why don't you do something about it? Do what everyone else in poor countries do when they're not happy with the local pay and start hustling up some income online. Go be a VA for an internet marketer, you'll make some money and you'll learn a thing or two that will help you in your own business when the time comes. Or go take that cruise ship job and see the world while you save up money.

3. Use that money and move out of your father's house. Your father has every right to tell you how to live your life when you're under his roof, eating his food. If you want to live your own life on your own terms, move out.

4. Stop making excuses about having no skills and no time to learn, and spend your free time acquiring those skills you don't have.

5. You say your goal is 5,000 Euros a month. That's pretty safely attainable within a few years, no matter which country you're in, provided you're not starving to death or dealing with civil war. Create an action plan that you can start today, and don't stop until you've hit your goal. Again, you might want to start by trading your time for money.

6. Just, for the love of god, find a way to be happy, I feel bummed out just reading your thread. Life is short, if you're really unhappy, take yourself out of your comfort zone and start doing some new things. Meet some new friends, work on your personal shortcomings, go to the gym.

 

[Vigilante]

I spent a long weekend feeling really sorry for myself. Then I realized there was nowhere to go but forward, and up. I simply started doing things. I knew that if I took action, I might fail. But so what? What was the worst that could happen? I might fail, again. OK. So what. I might lose, again. So what?

I put one foot in front of the other. Took a few slow steps. Probably stumbled a few times. But I kept going. Next thing you know, I was walking again.

I learned. I learned what trouble looked like. I learned how to protect myself. I learned to rely on nobody but myself. I resolved to have a different outcome the next time.

I would wear my scars like a badge of courage. My only other alternative was to do nothing, and that really is no choice at all. That takes no courage.

So... I pushed up off the mat.

For a long time, here on the forum, this was my signature :

"In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"-I am leaving, I am leaving'
But the fighter still remains"
- Paul Simon

So... back to you. Put one foot in front of the other. Take steps. You can't become if you don't have the courage to start. So start. Take risks. Let yourself know it is OK to fail. You don't have to listen to other people's ideas for what your life should be. They will be there to laugh when you fall. That's OK. That will make you stronger. Resolve to let it make you stronger. Resolve to keep walking. Before you know it, you will be running. Leave everything else in your rear view mirror.

The people who cut me? They helped me. They strengthened me. My scars helped me. You will be OK if you fail. It won't kill you. Just start doing. Start taking action. You will survive.

Good luck. I will be watching for your updates.

 

[Vigilante]

I woke up one morning, fired from my own company, two kids and a wife dependent on me, zero in savings (had spent it all building a company), no unemployment money, and square on my back on the floor.

Afraid? I survived. Put fear to work for you. I guarantee you what ever failures you encounter won't take you as deep in the well as I have been, and I lived to not only tell you about it, but use it to my advantage.

Scars make tougher skin. Get out there and make something happen. Use fear as a cause to act. Change it into adrenaline.

What's the worst that can happen? The worst happened to me... and several years later I am back on top again.

There's a new book out by James Altucher called Choose Yourself. Read it.

Fear is not accepted or acknowledged on this forum as a reason for inaction.

 

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[zoomzoom]

Hey Eagleeye... you know what I think? You think too much!!

At 50 I'm in the process of rebuilding my life after losing everything,except the most important, my kids and my passion for living, so I'm always looking for inspiration to start my day. I opened this thread thinking, let's see what steps this guy is taking to "take control" of his life and you're not taking control at all. You're talking about lack, can't, fear, what if's... the fact is you are where you are in life right now because of the choices you have made in the past.

Nobody goes from the cradle to the fastlane. If it was easy, everyone would be living on that highway. The fact is we all need to start somewhere to get some momentum going in their life. I think the best something for you is to get a job. You're not going to be stuck on the sidewalk or slowlane because you get a job for pete's sake... get over that fear. And I'm guessing if you had a talk with your father and said "listen dad I'm going to get a job for now but it's not my long term goal give me 6 months to prove my intentions to you."

This would do two things for you:

1) you won't be forced to get a job just to pay for living expenses, you can give your father a few euros to live with him while you are exploring finding a business model that you want to follow.

2) you will have a time limit to... get get off your butt and do something... fail fast and fail often... learn what does and doesn't wok and watch for opportunities. Your 22, the world is yours to conquer... just get moving and stop thinking about moving.

Wishing you the best in your journey, take responsibility for where you are, hold yourself accountable for your daily actions to move towards your goals and I look forward to seeing your success story!

 

[stranger]

Here have sounded so many good suggestions to a guy who is just lazy to move.

I remember how I got my 1st computer many years ago. My parents had no money to buy one. I borrowed some money from my not many friends to buy pentium 2. I promised them to back the money withing 5-6 months. And I did it. I spent 3 weeks to teach myself to work at the computer. And it took me 2 months to earn my 1st 200 bucks. Also, I only can move my left hand. I knew nothing about PC and online earnings but I had the great wish to make a living myself. I'm from the poorer country than yours. I had nobody to pay for my education. Yes, I'm not a fastlane and I made/make a ton of mistakes. Anyway, I pay for my beer and foods from my own pocket.

As for me, you are just afraid yourself to change something.
Good luck.

 

[Allen]

Self-pity can creep into every facet of your psyche if you let it. In reading your original post and subsequent updates, it's obvious your rolling back and forth between feeling inspired and then feel self-absorbed with self-pity.

I'm not here to judge you as I have also had similar feelings of self-pity. My childhood was no picnic and even though I didn't know or understand the Fastlane lifestyle as a young adult, I did realize that there had to be a "better way". I had one job working for a successful local business owner and it was at that time I realized that if he could be successful, anyone could because he did not come across as very smart. Just very energetic and willing to take risks and fail.

Remember that MJ points out in TMFL that the Slowlane can be part of your Fastlane plan, just not THE plan. If you need to trade your time for money with a job to get you to the next step, do it. Then take another step and hopefully you will find yourself in a place where you can then trade your job in for a lifestyle. Imagine working for one of your mentors, becoming successful at what you do and then approach him (her) with the proposal to become a partner to expand the business instead of an employee.

 

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[Allen]

One of the best explanations I ever read pertaining to self-pity came from Deepak Chopra. It really helped me understand my emotions and how to correct them.

He indicated that self-pity is the opposite of self-esteem. As a result, the real issue is dependency. Self-pity arises because you feel no one will lift you out of your difficulties. With no one stronger, older, wiser, and kindler to help you, there's a tremendous sense of lack. You cannot find the same strength that these rescuers have, or that you imagine them to have, and the ache of not being enough is felt as self-pity or "poor me".

The answer to feeling poor inside is to gather some riches. A person who is rich inside feels as if he is enough. If you do not have these inner riches, you can begin to accumulate them by writing down each desired quality and how to gain it. The next time you feel sorry for yourself, lapse into self-pity, or in any way feel inadequate, take out your list since different feelings arise out of different situations. Look at your situation and analyze where these feelings of self-pity come from each and every time it occurs. Be specific because once you have analyzed where this particular feeling of self-pity comes from, you can then write down a way to fix it. You remedy should be active and positive.

Remember, your enemy is apathy and being dependent on someone to rescue you. Only action can fill your sense of lack, and that action must be based on who you are and what you stand for.

As a newb to this forum, one of the things I really like is the amount of tough love that is readily available. There are enough "feel good" websites out there, however as most successful Fastlaners already know, bruises, cuts, scrapes, etc. are part of the process and we get stronger and closer to our goals with every failed attempt.

Good luck!

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

If you aren't making any money, wallowing in self-pity, you sir are below the sidewalk. You are sewer waste. I mean this in the most polite way.

I've determined that you don't want to work for anything from your posts. Turning your nose down at wage slavery. You don't have that option right now. You aren't making any money to support yourself. You don't know hard work.

I know people who have survived since they were 13 years old without their family, no one helped them. They worked their a$$ off though.

I've been raising myself since I was 15. That was the first time my mother kicked me out. No father either. It's bad when you don't have the moral support of parents. You have your father, his constant nagging is him wanting you to do better.

I'm 22 as well. I pay $430 U.S. in rent and cell phone(non-smart phone) a month from my family(most of my friends only pay $200 in rent). Might not sound like much but add in cost of food and car fees and you have about 1 grand in monthly costs. I only make $1100 after taxes at my wage slave job. But I have a safety net. I'm not worried about getting kicked out or being without food. It also allows me a safe place to work on my business. I don't have to worry about being robbed by a homeless guy or jumped by college kids on "beat a bum" night.

If you want the easy road, stay where you're at. Even a stray dog gets a good meal once in a while. Otherwise, work.

 

[DennisD]

Bro.
I've been where you are.
Literally no money, kicked out of my parents house, literally on the streets, literally not eating for days at a time.
I've built myself out and been kicked back down 3 times now... a different mistake crushing me each time.
I'm only 3 years older than you.

The "safe" suggestion is to get 2-3 jobs, lower your cost of living, and save money.
Educate yourself at night, work during the day.
Save until you have enough money to support yourself for 12 months.
Then quit and pursue something fastlane fulltime.

Building a business is a lot easier when you can reinvest your profits and grow exponentially, rather than using it to feed yourself.

 

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[Enki]

I have no "special" skill that I can sell and no time to teach myself

That is probably the most bogus statement I have ever read. I recently started reading books while on a treadmill. If you sleep 8 hours a night, you could cut back two hours of sleep as designated learning time. That's 14 hours a week. In less then 6 months you could learn a new language fluently with that much time added to your life. There is always time to learn.

You articulated the situation that you "perceive" yourself to be in very well. You should definitely think about a career in writing.

 

[Gruby Phil]

I'm from Central-Eastern Europe country as well. When I graduated from high school I had 3 months of vacation ahead of me but my parents told me that they 'can't afford sending me to college' afterwards. I couldn't find a job anywhere- at least job that would allow me to move from my parents and live on my own. You know what I did? I was working on a farm for two weeks and spent all the money I had earned on a one-way plane ticket to England. Being there I would knock on the door of every restaurant. I found a job on my first day (kitchen porter). After my vacations I had enough money to come back and cover my living expenses throughout the whole year. Remember- there is always a way!

 

[CommonCents]

Update.
I contacted the founder and CEO of one of the best real estate agencies, we will meet on Friday to talk more. I told him that I am willing to work for free and that I am a student. He was interested, but said he was very busy these days, and he will first check the legal issues and meet me on Friday.

Also I have something else to offer him that I didn't mentioned on the phone. By checking their website I noticed they don't have testimonials, so I might make him a good offer. I was thinking of telling him that I know a way he can make his company more profitable or more persuasive to customers. I am considering to tell him, that I might make those testimonials by contacting the customers and companies they worked with and ask for testimonials. Then choose the best lines and compile that, and give the whole thing to them so they can put it online. What do you think? Should I do that now, or later on, when I would already work there?


I really don't know why I did this(work for free), I am dead broke, I need money...but on the other hand, this is a good opportunity, if I somehow make it to selling and negotiating, that should benefit me a lot for the fastlane.

Mentors are a huge stepping stone advantage. Try and network with every single one in your area. Use your same humble yet proactive approach. Many successful people will get excited again meeting a young motivated person like you that reminds them of their youth. They will be happy to help and do not get approached that often, oddly enough. Ask yourself, where do these people hang out? Do you have a golf country club you could work at? or similar places, if you can't get hired from them straight away.

 

[Thriftypreneur]

I have to agree with what others have said so far.

There's a ton of self-defeatism in all your posts. "I can't," "I don't want to," "I'm not able to," and on and on.

If you spent half as much time on working/learning as you do finding excuses and feeling sorry for yourself, you'd probably be getting ready to receive a paycheck from a job already.

Also, in the position you've described, it's laughable how you're acting like you're too good to get a regular job and trade time for money. I've read hundreds of success stories, and in 99.99% of them, people bankrolled their efforts with regular jobs. Saying you don't want to trade time for money, when you have none, is nothing more than another excuse so that you don't have to do the stuff you already know you should be doing.

I'm not trying to rip on you or be insulting, I'm just trying to call it like I see it. Get over yourself and get to work. You're not going to get anywhere with out putting in the work. Good luck.

 

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[brainact]

Hi Eagleeye,

in which country you live?

Well imo the first step is to realize that u're really in no control. Much much less u could imagine.

So consider this, when it comes to control yourself:

- your emotions are in control over your mind

- we're deiceiving ourselves all the time. You do, i do, everyone does. Cause we can't handle all the information coming in. So we have to filter, distort, delete, generalize.

- There is a distinction about the story what happened and what really happened. We make stories all the time.

- The stories we create, allows us to go back and rationalize all the bad decisions we've made in life and allows us NOT to take responsibilty

-you can make up such stories and reasons in a way, so that u're in the victim role OR u can stop and say "i made all the choices and i need to figure out how i'm making choices and understand how i'm making bad choices and how i can make better choices. Look back at your bad choices and learn. Yap that's uncomfortable.

-most of the decisions that u make are made unconsciously.

-What are your secondary payoffs??
check out this one: Suzanne Matthiessen: Mind-Body Wellness Awareness: Secondary Gains: The Subconscious Payoffs Of Being Stuck

- give up your desire for fairness. Do things that are "unfair" for you.

Keep rockin

 

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[DeletedUser19]

Ok, maybe fear was too strong, worry should have been more suitable, which is bad either. And I will read the book when I can afford it.

What did you do when you were down? How did you get yourself up again?

 

[Era]

You have the power to do whatever you want. If you want to be a waiter, go do that. If you don't want to do that then find the most successful person in your town and see if they have a job for you, even that means running errands for them. You have to start somewhere, the key however is to keep growing. Learn something new everyday. Do what makes you uncomfortable.

 

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[DeletedUser19]

Update.
I contacted the founder and CEO of one of the best real estate agencies, we will meet on Friday to talk more. I told him that I am willing to work for free and that I am a student. He was interested, but said he was very busy these days, and he will first check the legal issues and meet me on Friday.

Also I have something else to offer him that I didn't mentioned on the phone. By checking their website I noticed they don't have testimonials, so I might make him a good offer. I was thinking of telling him that I know a way he can make his company more profitable or more persuasive to customers. I am considering to tell him, that I might make those testimonials by contacting the customers and companies they worked with and ask for testimonials. Then choose the best lines and compile that, and give the whole thing to them so they can put it online. What do you think? Should I do that now, or later on, when I would already work there?


I really don't know why I did this(work for free), I am dead broke, I need money...but on the other hand, this is a good opportunity, if I somehow make it to selling and negotiating, that should benefit me a lot for the fastlane.

 

[wealthyliving]

But I must admit I am a little afraid. Not afraid of failing to find a job, or failing to start a business or whatever, I am afraid of literally ending on the sidewalk.

Honey, you need to get over your fear of failure. If you fail to find a job, if you fail to start a business...so what? What's the worst that could happen? In order to achieve success, you are going to experience failure. Get that in your head already. EXPECT failure. That way, when it arrives, you won't be too disappointed.

Another thing is, if you know what you want, and you have a BURNING DESIRE for it, you will do ANYTHING it takes to get it. If that means sacrificing some time and effort to earn money in mediocre jobs while studying Fastlane methods in your free-time, then so be it. Only you have the ability to make it happen. Not anybody else.

We all have the freedom to make choices. Use it.

 

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[skylizard]

Hey Eagleeye... you know what I think? You think too much!!

At 50 I'm in the process of rebuilding my life after losing everything,except the most important, my kids and my passion for living, so I'm always looking for inspiration to start my day. I opened this thread thinking, let's see what steps this guy is taking to "take control" of his life and you're not taking control at all. You're talking about lack, can't, fear, what if's... the fact is you are where you are in life right now because of the choices you have made in the past.

Nobody goes from the cradle to the fastlane. If it was easy, everyone would be living on that highway. The fact is we all need to start somewhere to get some momentum going in their life. I think the best something for you is to get a job. You're not going to be stuck on the sidewalk or slowlane because you get a job for pete's sake... get over that fear. And I'm guessing if you had a talk with your father and said "listen dad I'm going to get a job for now but it's not my long term goal give me 6 months to prove my intentions to you."

Solid advice. It's so easy to get down in the dumps and so hard to get out of that frame of mind. Most of us have been there (or are there now) so we know what you're going thru. It's tough. Best thing you can do is try to surround yourself with positive peeople. Also, maybe try some meditation or subliminal stuff. I know some on this forum have tried and with good results.

Chin up!!

 

[Tlcalis]

When I read this thread all over again, I see that even the first couple of replies on this thread were sufficient for me to change my life if I am in the right state. No matter how many good replies I get won't help me, if I am down. And excuses, I have a lot. Even in this post I make excuses. I need to get rid of them completely from my vocabulary and thought pattern.

This might help you a little

[video=vimeo;10359554]http://vimeo.com/10359554[/video]

 

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[mimedia]

It's easy to feel hopeless and angry at 19. Rest assured, the best years of your life definitely have not passed you by. At least you do have the self-awareness to realize you're making excuses.

Your parents are paying for your college and providing you with a roof over your head. It can definitely suck living with your parents when you're clashing on everything and you want to make your own life, but at the end of the day remind yourself that you don't really have it that bad, and you do have options if you don't keep finding reasons not to take action.

Finding a local job: "Pays too little, can't survive on my own." - So take the meager pay, keep living at home, and save up your money.
Moving away to a new country: "No money." You're living at home and your parents are paying for everything, Get a job and start saving so you can move away and start fresh.
Work for someone online as a VA: *Crickets*. I have a VA from a poor European country that makes a lot more working for me than he would working locally. Why not pursue this further? You'll learn, and you can leverage your low cost of living to make some decent coin.
Finishing college: "No money to go out, don't want to live at home, can't keep going like this" - So take up sports or something that doesn't cost much money. Join some student clubs. Or get a low paying job so you can afford to go out once in awhile.
Take action: "I just can't seem to do it." There's not much anyone can say to that except wish you the best and hope you come around. But you should try checking out James Altucher's blog and his new book, "Choose Yourself". There's a lot of good stuff in there that might help you out. Look up "The Daily Practice" as well. If you can't afford the book, just read the blog.

 

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[mimedia]

I am actually 22 and will turn 23 soon. If I was 19, I wouldn't be upset that much.

Still young, but realize that if you don't start acting soon, things will get a lot harder, very quickly.

I think this would be the best option right now. I'd only need a PC with internet access. Btw, I don't know a lot about VAs, so before I do research, would you mind telling me how much you delegate to that VA? The reason I ask is because I'd like to know if I need to work as a VA for one person or more.

Why do you need me to respond to such a basic question? You'll find out as soon as you start doing research. If you had started as soon as I planted the idea, you could be working right now, earning real money.

I agree with the guy who said it doesn't sound like you wanna work though. It sounds like you just want to wallow in self pity and vent about how hopeless your life is. I'd bet that a year from now you won't have gotten anywhere as a VA. Prove me wrong!

I started the daily practice, a similar one. The only problem I have is with removing the people who are dragging me down from my life(my parents) and the "feel grateful" thing.

Your parents aren't dragging you down in life they're the only ones holding you up. They're completely justified in pushing you to get a job, and they're the only reason you can get away without having one. Take advantage of it while you still can.

Write down 5 things you're grateful for everyday, even if you don't *feel* grateful.

 

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[DeletedUser19]

I have been on the side walk for as long as I can remember. I am 22 btw, a college student, soon to be a dropout probably. So, I would appreciate some advices before I go and wreck my life.

Here is some info about me. I live in a small and poor country in Europe. My financial situation is abysmal at the moment, I live with my parents and the money they give me is small. The only thing they give me money for is food(rarely for something else) and even for that they complain. Last time I was out having fun was on 31 Decembar - New Year. I know that it's my fault, and I should have taken action long ago. But regrets will do me no good now, and I must focus on my present and how to change it - intense realism is needed. One thing I do know now is that I don't want to live with them anymore, because the ultimatums they are giving me are unacceptable(I would rather keep that private). And, as the tensions rise, I would probably get out of my house(or be expelled by my dad anyway)

I have read the Millionaire Fastlane , gave my last money on it and I don't regret it. Although it motivated me to start a fastlane journey, I realized it's not for me at the moment. So the Fastlane should wait for a while.

I have no "special" skill that I can sell and no time to teach myself, I have no money at all(like zero srsly) and have nothing to sell, so one of the things remaining, besides a job, is hustling which I have never done. I know that necessity is the biggest motivator and I know that I could survive on my own out there but it's going to be hard, because the jobs are not nearly enough paid, or lot of time is needed until I can make money enough from a job to survive.

So that leaves me with very little options. If I find a normal job(a barman, waiter, or work in some warehouse, salesman in electronics shop..) I can earn from 150 - 250 euros a month. The rent I would pay in a small house or apartment would be minimum 100 euros a month( It might be lower when the semester starts -September if I live with some students ), 100 euros for food, and (if there is anything left) 50 euros for bills(if not I am screwed).

Another option is to find 2 shitty jobs and work 17 hours a day(earn 400 euros a month), but kiss my fastlane goals Goodbye. Probably, I will get a burnout.

I thought about hustling but it's risky(my life would be at stake) and I have nothing to sell anyway and no money to start. I have been considering some business opportunities, but they all require at least some capital, and I have nothing, so I need a steady minimum income to keep my belly full. You have to survive first right? Besides, a lot of entrepreneurs had a job at one time.

Do something illegal - The worst option. I condemned everyone that did that. I don't want to do something like that, but...

There are some jobs that are paid good if 350 euros a month can be called good. But they require lot of experience and time. I don't have time. I thought if I could somehow offer great value to an employer, so he would pay me good from the start. Anyone has any idea, how can I provide good value to a company?

I hope someone can point me to something that will ease my journey. My father already told me to pack my bags and leave if I don't "listen"(live my life like he wants) to him. Of course I won't listen - it's my life, not his.

 

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[DeletedUser19]

Well, thanks for the reply. The decision has been made, as you pointed out. But I must admit I am a little afraid. Not afraid of failing to find a job, or failing to start a business or whatever, I am afraid of literally ending on the sidewalk. And yes, I have been reading old threads for a while, that's why I am not that very active.

When I was 19, I had an apartment (that my girlfriend lived in), two cars, and a job. You're 22. You are out of excuses. Time to decide.

Thanks, I really needed that. Srsly.

 

[DeletedUser19]

Mentors are a huge stepping stone advantage. Try and network with every single one in your area. Use your same humble yet proactive approach. Many successful people will get excited again meeting a young motivated person like you that reminds them of their youth. They will be happy to help and do not get approached that often, oddly enough. Ask yourself, where do these people hang out? Do you have a golf country club you could work at? or similar places, if you can't get hired from them straight away.

I really appreciate what you said, although I don't even think there is a golf club in my country(business idea?? ), so I will try to find something similar. However, I was planning to contact other successful entrepreneurs if this fails and ask for a job or mentoring, but now that you put that out, I will do it regardless of this succeeding or not. Although I might get overwhelmed.



@wealthyliving I have already overcome fear, but thanks anyway

 

[andyredsox]

I haven't read everything on this thread but i think you're ready to really take control of your life.

It's good that you can now admit where you are at at the moment.

But stop there. Don't complain anymore.

Use them to your advantage.

We are only what we want to be.

So when you make a decision, stick to it.

Have you tried finding jobs online??

 

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[DeletedUser19]

My grandma's brother from Australia tells me how it's not as easy as I think to become independent in Australia. I just laughed at how he forgot where he came from. Then we compared the wages and the opportunities. He said nothing. Silence. Of course he won't. He has a house worth 300 000 dollars. My father makes 6000 dollars a year.

I spoke with my neighbor couple of days ago. He has been a hustler his whole life and has been working and selling stuff since he turned 15. He is 33 now and sells used cars mostly. We talked about my situation and he said I should go to work on those cruise ships. He was supposed to work there himself, but his girlfriend became pregnant and he didn't. He has regrets. But I don't want to do that. That's just not for me. Or maybe I should go and trade my time for money. The money is mediocre according to US standards, but a lot of people from here are going on those cruise ships. They can either do that or work for 300 dollars a month. Or kill themselves.

I failed Vigilante. I failed.

Whatever I tried, I failed. Thoughts of giving up start to creep up.

I think I know now why I keep failing. Because every action I take or decision I make is done out of lack. I wanted to accomplish so many things in life, but I was always failing to achieve that what I lacked. James Altucher sums this up good in this post THE ONLY THING YOU’LL EVER NEED Altucher Confidential. I am behaving exactly the same. I am putting my happiness on things and circumstances. Everything that involves “I want to be X†means first (by definition), “I am not.†I don't want to be a NOT.

Lot of people say, since the internet there are no more excuses. I don't have internet access (I do this from another PC).

I don't want to be a millionaire really. 5000 euros a month would make me fell like "The richest man who ever lived". I just want freedom. But that means I am not free, which means I am not happy. I put happiness again on circumstances. But how to be happy when there is nothing good about my life. If I understood correctly, even MJ was happy before he was rich. When he left Chicago and moved to Phoenix he was happy. Not satisfied, but happy. I am not. I don't want to be a NOT.

And Cleaveland, you are right man. I shoud consider a career in writing. If I ever get to the fastlane, that's my road. When I have a PC or/and an internet connecion I will write a book or start a blog. Not for the money, but the freedom potential is huge. Although that seems light years away.

 

[DeletedUser19]

In reading your original post and subsequent updates, it's obvious your rolling back and forth between feeling inspired and then feel self-absorbed with self-pity.

I am doing that all the time and I am aware of that.

Remember that MJ points out in TMFL that the Slowlane can be part of your Fastlane plan, just not THE plan. If you need to trade your time for money with a job to get you to the next step, do it. Then take another step and hopefully you will find yourself in a place where you can then trade your job in for a lifestyle. Imagine working for one of your mentors, becoming successful at what you do and then approach him (her) with the proposal to become a partner to expand the business instead of an employee.

My concerns are not whether or not I should trade my time for money, but how and if I will find a job that will enable me to survive on my own(or live with students). Everything else afterwards should be "easier", and by easier I mean, at least I will be happy and I can build from that.

Best thing you can do is try to surround yourself with positive peeople. Also, maybe try some meditation or subliminal stuff. I know some on this forum have tried and with good results.

Chin up!!

The most cheerful person I spend my time right now is my brother really. I've lost almost all of my friends, but I don't care much. I will make new ones. And I've tried meditation. I'll start doing it more regularly.

Hey Eagleeye... you know what I think? You think too much!!

Yes. I can't deny that. Maybe I should approach life like Forest Gump. Just say "Ok" and do it.

Nobody goes from the cradle to the fastlane. If it was easy, everyone would be living on that highway. The fact is we all need to start somewhere to get some momentum going in their life. I think the best something for you is to get a job. You're not going to be stuck on the sidewalk or slowlane because you get a job for pete's sake... get over that fear. And I'm guessing if you had a talk with your father and said "listen dad I'm going to get a job for now but it's not my long term goal give me 6 months to prove my intentions to you."

Couple of weeks ago, I had a fight with my dad, and he told me to leave if I didn't like how things were. With 20 dollars in my pocket, I would struggle to survive and I would be forced to do things I don't want to do.

I looked down and I said nothing. It felt like I was swallowing a pint of blood and my manhood with it.

You said you wanted someone to point you to something to ease your journey. No one can ease your journey, because from the sounds of it, you haven't even started it yet. But I can definitely point some stuff out that should help you, if you actually take action:

1. Stop feeling bad for yourself. Stop limiting yourself with self-defeating thoughts. You might not even realize you're doing it, but its all over this thread. Start monitoring yourself for excuses and stamp them out.

2. Start earning money, so you can buy a PC and internet. Get over your irrational fear of trading time for money - it's an excuse for inaction. If you don't want to work for local wages, why don't you do something about it? Do what everyone else in poor countries do when they're not happy with the local pay and start hustling up some income online. Go be a VA for an internet marketer, you'll make some money and you'll learn a thing or two that will help you in your own business when the time comes. Or go take that cruise ship job and see the world while you save up money.

3. Use that money and move out of your father's house. Your father has every right to tell you how to live your life when you're under his roof, eating his food. If you want to live your own life on your own terms, move out.

4. Stop making excuses about having no skills and no time to learn, and spend your free time acquiring those skills you don't have.

5. You say your goal is 5,000 Euros a month. That's pretty safely attainable within a few years, no matter which country you're in, provided you're not starving to death or dealing with civil war. Create an action plan that you can start today, and don't stop until you've hit your goal. Again, you might want to start by trading your time for money.

6. Just, for the love of god, find a way to be happy, I feel bummed out just reading your thread. Life is short, if you're really unhappy, take yourself out of your comfort zone and start doing some new things. Meet some new friends, work on your personal shortcomings, go to the gym.

Well I know what I should be doing. But I am not. I have myself as my greatest enemy. I know a lot of people trash happiness and feeling good, but I really think it is prerequisite. Everything good that I've done in life, every accomplishment, happened when I was happy.
And I do want a job. But every job that was an option for me these weeks...the pay was too low and not enough to move.

6. Just, for the love of god, find a way to be happy, I feel bummed out just reading your thread. Life is short, if you're really unhappy, take yourself out of your comfort zone and start doing some new things. Meet some new friends, work on your personal shortcomings, go to the gym.

Ok. I can find happiness even if the circumstances are shit, and..every time I find it, every time I start feeling happy, it all breaks down, like a house of cards, and I feel even more miserable.



Btw, thanks everyone for the replies. But now when I look at all of this from a different perspective, the problem is not the action I take, or the plan I have. I am. Nothing works without me.

When I read this thread all over again, I see that even the first couple of replies on this thread were sufficient for me to change my life if I am in the right state. No matter how many good replies I get won't help me, if I am down. And excuses, I have a lot. Even in this post I make excuses. I need to get rid of them completely from my vocabulary and thought pattern.

 

[Runum]

Doing some looking around it appears you are from Macedonia. Interesting.

When you ask anyone for advice they can only give you advice through their lens, how they see life. My opinion is based on the US economy and my experiences. What I say is not unbiased. I think some facts abut your area are interesting. Looking at this site:

Macedonia vs. Greece - economy comparison

As you said, this is a poor country. It is a very small economy and +30% unemployment. Unemployment among 15-25 is 52%, wow! Biggest employment sector is services.

You say you are about to drop out of college. This brings up several questions. Who is paying for your college? What are you studying? What was the plan after graduation? What other things could you have done?

If you drop out in hopes of finding a job it doesn't look good. What do all of those unemployed people do all day? How do they get food?

My thinking is to move to another area with more opportunity. Ask Ryan(richkid) what a visit to another area will do to your perspective.

I wish you well, but I do think you need a better plan than quit college, find a job, and be optimistic.