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I have two questions for you (borrowing from family)

Kak

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How about a mother? No - let the beech starve. Father? Sister? Best Friend? FIANCE? Let em all starve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one suggested letting people starve strawman.

A REAL man - which there are so very few of - would have stepped up to the plate withOUT being asked

A real man would lead and take care of his family, not let them slip into financial disarray where you have to ask a more responsible person to “cover for you.” It isn’t uncle moneybags’ job to take care of you.

Think you're admired because of the size of your bank account? Think again.

No. Clearly the socialists like yourself don’t like me. Save your argument for a pocahontas rally.
 
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Real Deal Denver

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No. Clearly the socialists like yourself don’t like me.

Socialist? Now there's a world record-setting leap! There's a grand canyon difference between helping your brother and wanting to take all your money and dispense it to the general population. Paranoid much?

I have YET to meet the person that did everything all on their own. Everyone had a break of some kind. Here is what Gates said about his break; “I benefited from having a great education — public schools through 6th grade and then a great private School,” Gates said. “So there is a good chance I would never have gotten turned on to software and math the way I did and therefore not as successful.”

Let me give you a solid gold example to AVOID. This pertains closely to this thread because here we are talking about very close family members - and a well off relative. Steve Jobs, a multi-millionaire - denied his own DAUGHTER Lisa, whom he loved so much he named a computer after her. Aw, how touching. All the while, his ex, and his daughter were on public support barely making ends meet. Let's look at the keywords here. Multi-millionaire. Daughter. Denied.

Now Steve is dead and gone. Wonder how his daughter is doing today? Wonder what people think of Steve's legacy? It's all history now - and you can't change history.

When you put the word multi-millionaire into the equation, things change. A lot.

Wanna be like Steve? Rich. Powerful. Admired. Despised. Wha, wha, wha, - did you say despised? Yes I did.

As much as there is to admire about Jobs - there is so much he could have done to really step up and be a man.

Jerry Lewis is another prime example. He cut his SIX kids and ex OUT of his will. Multi-millionaire. His daughter is homeless. IF money infects your brain as bad as Jobs and Lewis seem to have been - then it's a good thing they DID die, so someone else could use their beloved stash and hopefully put it to good use. Lewis will be another one that will be eternally despised because of what HE did. Sure didn't step up and be a man. His choice - his legacy.

Like it or not, that's the truth. Gonna wait till you're dead to learn this lesson? Isn't that what the classic Christmas tale is all about - you know, the Ebenezer Scrooge story...

scrooge.JPG
 
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Scot

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@Real Deal Denver you’ve got one massive chip on your shoulder there buddy.

Your profile says 64, but you’re ranting like a 17 year old.

Chill. Let the grownups talk.
 

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What's wrong with bologna sandwiches? .99c thick bologna is my favorite 'meat' to make a sandwich. :smile:

Maybe he didn't like you. He probably knew y'all were needing money and he CHOSE to not help y'all in hopes y'all would split up because he didn't like his daughter being with you.

Throwing money around never helps anything. Now if you was complaining that you asked him for help in making yourself better and making more money, and he would not help you, I guess you could be mad at him but then again.... he has NO responsibility to you to do ANYTHING for you. Unless it's going to benefit ME, I never give anyone any money. No one gave me any money when I was homeless when I was 19 years old. I knew if I wanted to have better things, I better make a plan; so I did. If someone would have given me money to cover my bills, I probably wouldn't have ever made it to where I am today. If someone tells me they have no money and they are hungry, I'd take them with me to eat and discuss how we can go in to business together.... but I ain't giving anyone any money. Oh wait.... I did do this for a guy named Phillip. He was homeless, living at the shelter in downtown Fort Worth. Turns out, Phillip has now owned his own cleaning business for 8 years. Him and his wife (He met her because of me. I rented him a hotel room once I had him started in the cleaning business) have bought a house and still have their cleaning business. But just think, if I'd have given him $10,000, he would have spent it 8 years ago and probably still be on the streets today.
 
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biophase

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Do you really WANT a relationship with someone that is going to feel "burned" that you borrowed 50K and things didn't work out, so you couldn't pay them back on time? (I'm talking about the guy that has ten mill - not the average dude). Who the F*ck needs some greedy bastard like THAT? Their second true love is money - I'm sure their first is themselves. They have nothing left over for anyone else, or pitifully little if anything.

I have had people offer me the last $20 they had before. Not the VERY last, but the last before payday. They would eat bologna sandwiches for four days in order to help me out. I didn't take it, by the way. But I now know what these people are made of, and I cherish them as friends. Others - like I explained before, were content to sit on the sidelines and watch me spend every dime I had while counting the interest they were making on their MILLIONS while I was dying. F*ck THEM!

Here's an interesting story most here will love. My fiance, with her super super wealthy parents (worth over 100 mill) - are all planning the big Christmas holiday. Wow - I've never gotten a present, or given one, to a multi-millionaire before. I hadn't looked forward to Christmas like that since I was a kid. I asked my fiance if her Dad had asked her what color of Lambo I liked best. No. I asked her if her Dad asked if I wanted a helicopter. I always wanted one of those. No. Yacht? No. Hmmmmm. I know it's gonna be good - can't wait. Christmas day comes, and I get a very large, and heavy box. Must have weighed 6-8 pounds. This was like winning the lottery! Wow! Turned out it was a HALF a VCR. A half VCR is the kind that only plays tapes. It doesn't have a tuner so you can use it to watch or record off TV. I think they were $20 at the time. Never did unpack it. Put it on the shelf as a regift someday. A half a VCR. Wow. Couldn't even spring for the full VCR. If that was me, I'd really be embarrassed. I'll remember that forever. Is that what anyone HERE wants anyone to remember about them? Does anyone here want to be remembered as a cheap a$$? That's a good way to do it.

My experiences. I'm glad I had them because they were like a good movie. But once you see the movie, you never want to see it again.

To put things into perspective - as I mentioned before - her parents wrote a check for about $450K to buy a house for us. To LEND us $50K to get by would have been nothing for them. Get another job - you can make it boy! When I was your age... nobody ever gave me anything... I'm my own man... ya, ya, ya...

And here we have people telling this OP to NOT work with his brother. How pathetic is that?

How about a mother? No - let the beech starve. Father? Sister? Best Friend? FIANCE? Let em all starve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet, through all of this shit - it only reinforced what is truly important in me. Instead of turning into a cheap a$$ - which I easily could have - I am now even more compassionate and generous. I have had many people tell me that I'm a very generous and caring person. I'll take those words to my grave. The rich bastards will NOT be taking their wealth to the grave. Maybe their reputation? Ha. More likely their kids will be glad they're gone because now they can get their hands on the money.

Once again - USE the money to do something. Money is a TOOL. If your ultra-rich Uncle likes to bask in the glory of his money - let him. If he was my Uncle, I wouldn't have the time of day for him. What is the purpose of him even BEING here if he is of no help to anyone? Exactly. Nada.

A REAL man - which there are so very few of - would have stepped up to the plate withOUT being asked. What are people saying about YOU behind your back? Think you're admired because of the size of your bank account? Think again.


All these stories sound like they are your fault. Just because someone has money doesn’t mean they are obligated to lend or give you any. You don’t deserve sh!t. And based on the attitude of your posts here I can venture a guess that your fiancées parents probably were too fond of you. You probably came off to them like you do here, hoping for a helicopter on Xmas.

I hate people that say aw cmon you can afford it, you have $xxxxxx dollars. Those are exactly the type of people that I never help.
 
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biophase

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To the OP, if it’s $3k and your brother is going well and offered, I see no problem with it.

In any case, you need to discuss with him what happens if you can’t pay him back.
 

Kak

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Per this sidebar... I’m not a parent, yet, but I have understood something about raising children into good productive adults... You don’t solve all of your kids’ problems for them, even if it is really damn easy for you.

Enabling creates dependency.

To the op... $3 grand isn’t that much money. Find a way. You could probably get a real loan. Or a temporary job.

Like it or not... owning a business is ON YOU.
 
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MHP368

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Do you really WANT a relationship with someone that is going to feel "burned" that you borrowed 50K and things didn't work out, so you couldn't pay them back on time? (I'm talking about the guy that has ten mill - not the average dude). Who the F*ck needs some greedy bastard like THAT? Their second true love is money - I'm sure their first is themselves. They have nothing left over for anyone else, or pitifully little if anything.

I have had people offer me the last $20 they had before. Not the VERY last, but the last before payday. They would eat bologna sandwiches for four days in order to help me out. I didn't take it, by the way. But I now know what these people are made of, and I cherish them as friends. Others - like I explained before, were content to sit on the sidelines and watch me spend every dime I had while counting the interest they were making on their MILLIONS while I was dying. F*ck THEM!

Here's an interesting story most here will love. My fiance, with her super super wealthy parents (worth over 100 mill) - are all planning the big Christmas holiday. Wow - I've never gotten a present, or given one, to a multi-millionaire before. I hadn't looked forward to Christmas like that since I was a kid. I asked my fiance if her Dad had asked her what color of Lambo I liked best. No. I asked her if her Dad asked if I wanted a helicopter. I always wanted one of those. No. Yacht? No. Hmmmmm. I know it's gonna be good - can't wait. Christmas day comes, and I get a very large, and heavy box. Must have weighed 6-8 pounds. This was like winning the lottery! Wow! Turned out it was a HALF a VCR. A half VCR is the kind that only plays tapes. It doesn't have a tuner so you can use it to watch or record off TV. I think they were $20 at the time. Never did unpack it. Put it on the shelf as a regift someday. A half a VCR. Wow. Couldn't even spring for the full VCR. If that was me, I'd really be embarrassed. I'll remember that forever. Is that what anyone HERE wants anyone to remember about them? Does anyone here want to be remembered as a cheap a$$? That's a good way to do it.

My experiences. I'm glad I had them because they were like a good movie. But once you see the movie, you never want to see it again.

To put things into perspective - as I mentioned before - her parents wrote a check for about $450K to buy a house for us. To LEND us $50K to get by would have been nothing for them. Get another job - you can make it boy! When I was your age... nobody ever gave me anything... I'm my own man... ya, ya, ya...

And here we have people telling this OP to NOT work with his brother. How pathetic is that?

How about a mother? No - let the beech starve. Father? Sister? Best Friend? FIANCE? Let em all starve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet, through all of this shit - it only reinforced what is truly important in me. Instead of turning into a cheap a$$ - which I easily could have - I am now even more compassionate and generous. I have had many people tell me that I'm a very generous and caring person. I'll take those words to my grave. The rich bastards will NOT be taking their wealth to the grave. Maybe their reputation? Ha. More likely their kids will be glad they're gone because now they can get their hands on the money.

Once again - USE the money to do something. Money is a TOOL. If your ultra-rich Uncle likes to bask in the glory of his money - let him. If he was my Uncle, I wouldn't have the time of day for him. What is the purpose of him even BEING here if he is of no help to anyone? Exactly. Nada.

A REAL man - which there are so very few of - would have stepped up to the plate withOUT being asked. What are people saying about YOU behind your back? Think you're admired because of the size of your bank account? Think again.

Well I havent asked. Because it isnt my money , him being my dads brother doesnt give me any right to it.

You dont think rich people have anxiety about moochy relatives? Or havent been asked to fund pie in the sky half baked business ideas?

Frankly I think id rather ask when I have something going and an infusion of cash would allow me to 10x the thing.
 

minivanman

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Per this sidebar... I’m not a parent, yet, but I have understood something about raising children into good productive adults... You don’t solve all of your kids’ problems for them, even if it is really damn easy for you.

Enabling creates dependency.

To the op... $3 grand isn’t that much money. Find a way. You could probably get a real loan. Or a temporary job.

Like it or not... owning a business is ON YOU.

The biggest problem in America is that parents are not raising their kids to be great, self-supporting adults. Parents are raising their young kids to be big, dependent kids.
 

biophase

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Per this sidebar... I’m not a parent, yet, but I have understood something about raising children into good productive adults... You don’t solve all of your kids’ problems for them, even if it is really damn easy for you.

Enabling creates dependency.

To the op... $3 grand isn’t that much money. Find a way. You could probably get a real loan. Or a temporary job.

Like it or not... owning a business is ON YOU.

There are plenty of parents that find their kid’s businesses. Nothing wrong with that. Most people think if they got $50k to start a business that they would be successful. So they blame it on lack of capital. But it’s really all about skills. Just look at shark tank and the number of people who sunk hundreds of thousands into failing businesses.
 
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Kak

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There are plenty of parents that find their kid’s businesses. Nothing wrong with that. Most people think if they got $50k to start a business that they would be successful. So they blame it on lack of capital. But it’s really all about skills. Just look at shark tank and the number of people who sunk hundreds of thousands into failing businesses.

Of course! I wasn't suggesting not funding a kid's good business idea... Or helping them make a bad idea better.

I was referring to RDD and his girlfriend's entitlement issue.
 

MHP368

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There are plenty of parents that find their kid’s businesses. Nothing wrong with that. Most people think if they got $50k to start a business that they would be successful. So they blame it on lack of capital. But it’s really all about skills. Just look at shark tank and the number of people who sunk hundreds of thousands into failing businesses.

Or the recent poll on how many business people had before being profitable.

You burn a bridge with a family member to just fail spectacularly what was it...5 to 7 times? , thats not good adulting

My first business I didn't even do any more market research than reading a single survey and thinking "yup this will work" , i'm much better off today having pissed away my own money (7 grandish) than someone elses. You coulda given me a half million and it wouldn't have worked
 

biophase

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I was referring to RDD and his girlfriend's entitlement issue.

Yes I was speaking in general terms. RDD has many issues other than money.
 
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Real Deal Denver

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So we all choose to ignore Jobs leaving his ex and DAUGHTER destitute?

It's documented history folks. I know you don't like it. Neither do I. But I guess it's soooo much easier to lean on me. Be careful - your true character is showing through...

Same for Jerry Lewis leaving his ex and SIX kids nothing?

His daughter is also destitute and homeless. Google it. Be ashamed, if you have it in you to be.

Yeah, what the F*ck do they deserve anyway? Bloodsucking lazy relatives... even if they are their own DAUGHTERS. So what? Let her be a whore on the corner and work her way up.

Here's how it is. Jobs and Lewis are dead and gone. Their legacy will live on forever, however. Gotta hand it to em for being successful in their careers. Jobs especially. Knowing what we know today, would you want YOUR daughter/sister to marry someone like either of those two? They could be rich - unless they were cut off and left destitute- but it's worth the chance. OR would you like your daughter/sister to marry some genuine guy, that will never forsake her, make her happy, and do whatever it takes to help her? But he's not rich. How you weigh that is how you rate as a decent human being. You know, and that's all that matters.

But back to the issue at hand. Spitting on the lecherous underlings trying to get your money.

Wouldn't want to be giving em any money - oh, hell no.

Nobody is worth a damn if they don't cut through the jungle on their own - using only a swiss knife - and survive in the wilderness for a year. Like YOU did, right? All you supermen real-life action heroes... be proud of what you've done and who you are!!!

arnold.gif

Oh wait - Arnold got his maid pregnant and ending up leaving his wife. Probably not a suitable role model there. Ah - we'll use him anyway cause he's so damn macho.

You may have noticed that I didn't even include my situation in there - cause I don't deserve shit. I am just a worthless bloodsucker that supported my fiance as long as I could - until it broke me. A real loser. Hey - those might be good lyrics to a song? I'm just a worthless bloodsucker cowboy... I am going to send that to Willie and see what he can do with it.
 

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@Real Deal Denver take a Valium ffs. This thread is about a dude who wants to borrow $3k from his brother... the personal lives of Jobs and Lewis are irrelevant here, for two reasons. 1) it’s none of your business, and 2) you don’t know what happened behind the scenes. No one outside of their family circle knows the truth. So let’s not make assumptions for either side.

Real Deal Denver said:
To put things into perspective - as I mentioned before - her parents wrote a check for about $450K to buy a house for us. To LEND us $50K to get by would have been nothing for them. Get another job - you can make it boy! When I was your age... nobody ever gave me anything... I'm my own man... ya, ya, ya...
The family bought you a huge house, and you were upset that they wouldn’t give you MORE?? Get a grip.

Lots of lessons in this thread. The biggest one is DON’T HOLD ONTO THE PAST. It will eat you alive. The past is gone, there is only now and the future.
 

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@Kak @Real Deal Denver I see both sides to this argument.

@Kak is right that it's not a rich person's responsibility to bail you out. Also, @Real Deal Denver assuming you two didn't have kids as you were just engaged? Why were your expenses so high? Your girlfriend lost her job, could she not collect unemployment insurance? Could she not find another job?
If you're working that much and STILL dirt poor, something else is up. Rent's too much? Move into a cheaper place. Have car payments? Downgrade.

Or was the problem that you were spending a lot of money trying to please her, and because she was a selfish bitch she let you?

On the other hand, I know people who have lots of money and are always ready to help people. They don't have to, but they do just because they have kind hearts. That's who I want to be. I'd rather be someone who's generous with my success than someone hardened who thinks everyone else should have it hard too.
 
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Real Deal Denver

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This thread is about a dude who wants to borrow $3k from his brother... the personal lives of Jobs and Lewis are irrelevant here, for two reasons. 1) it’s none of your business, and 2) you don’t know what happened behind the scenes. No one outside of their family circle knows the truth. So let’s not make assumptions for either side.

If you abandoned your kids, that's okay. Me too. Worthless fathers abound.

But for a multi-millionaire to deny his own kids? What excuse is there for that? It's all relative. Bill Gates lending me (not giving) a mill is no big thing. Shit, he gives away more than that on a weekly basis. YOU lending me a mill is impossible. Huge difference. YOU lending me three bucks to buy a hamburger is a different matter. If you'd rather say NO to "lending" me three bucks, then that makes you kind of a shitty person. If you say NO to your own DAUGHTER, that puts you in a very special category of being shitty. To have the whole world know, and you still not give a damn - well, I don't even know how to describe that. Beyond belief. THAT'S how money can infect your mind. When you can deny your own daughter and it doesn't bother you - there's a severe problem. The post here was about a brother wanting to borrow (not be given) money from his own brother. And we have those here standing up BETWEEN brothers? Wow. Takes balls. But I guess Jobs and Lewis demonstrated how that can happen. If it were within my means, I'd be HONORED to lend - hell no, GIVE - my brother money to help fulfill his dreams.

The family bought you a huge house, and you were upset that they wouldn’t give you MORE?? Get a grip.

Nobody gave me anything. They BOUGHT the house, for which I was paying them back for. And by the way, after I spent my last dime supporting my fiance, nary did anyone offer to pay me back for the payments that I made on that house - among many other things. That's the way "life goes" - suck it up butterball. Even after they sold it for a profit. Nothing. I made the deal - yada, yada, yada - I know the lecture. F*ck me. Got it.

Why were your expenses so high? Your girlfriend lost her job, could she not collect unemployment insurance? Could she not find another job?

No, she couldn't get a job to replace her income. It was over $200K.

Why were expenses so high? You're gonna love this one. She inherited $50,000. What did she do with it? Pay off credit cards, of course. Hell no. Invest it. Hell no. Bought a sports car and the payments were STILL almost a grand a month. After the doo doo hit the fan I said the first thing we gotta do is dump the car. WHAT? Might as well have spit on her grandma's grave saying that. Do you know how much money she would lose if she sold that car? That's the response I got. I know, I know - F*ck me. LOL. Kinda funny isn't it? All I know is that after I was thrown out was the car disappeared and the house was sold.

So in retrospect, I wonder what I should have done? Say screw you babe - sorry you lost your job. No, you ain't getting any of my money bitch. Well, I didn't say that. I DID say that we needed a LOAN from her parents to tide us over. Might as well have spit on BOTH her grandma AND grandpa's grave for saying that! So what options did I have? I did the best that I could. And when I was out of money, and almost going insane from working 16 hours a day 7 days a week - I get thrown away like a piece of garbage.

She did offer to work at Starbucks to help may ends meet. LOL. Like that would even cover the car payment? Dumb bitch. Even dumber me.

Now you know the rest of the story.

I have seen from the responses here that if it were SOME people's daughter here, they would have left me die - as she and her parents did. Fine. Keep your money.

What would be interesting is how someone would have handled it if they were ME. In hindsight, I should have walked away - but, as hard as that may be to fathom for some here, that was not an option. I don't abandon people. Jobs and Lewis didn't have any problem doing it though. See the moral of the story? Don't waste your time insulting or bitching at me. Learn something from this. Maybe we should all be like Jobs? Prick boy of the century. A few here ARE like him already.
 

biophase

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If you abandoned your kids, that's okay. Me too. Worthless fathers abound.

No, she couldn't get a job to replace her income. It was over $200K.

Why were expenses so high? You're gonna love this one. She inherited $50,000. What did she do with it? ...Bought a sports car and the payments were STILL almost a grand a month.

After the doo doo hit the fan I said the first thing we gotta do is dump the car. WHAT? Might as well have spit on her grandma's grave saying that. Do you know how much money she would lose if she sold that car? That's the response I got. I know, I know - F*ck me.

Dumb bitch. Even dumber me.

Well there you go. She got $50k and was irresponsible with it. Most likely she has been irresponsible in the past with her money. This is why the parents didn't give her any more money.

Of course you come along as the sucker who is still giving her money and trying to help her when she doesn't even want the help. You couldn't see that she had a past history of blowing money.

And now you blame her parents for her being broke?

What doesn't make sense is that you know that you were duped. You know that it was ALL your fault, but yet you think that if her parents would have just given her $50k or $100k, all would have been solved? You are delusional. How do you not see that her parents cutting her off was the right thing to do?
 

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Well there you go. She got $50k and was irresponsible with it. Most likely she has been irresponsible in the past with her money. This is why the parents didn't give her any more money.

Of course you come along as the sucker who is still giving her money and trying to help her when she doesn't even want the help. You couldn't see that she had a past history of blowing money.

And now you blame her parents for her being broke?

What doesn't make sense is that you know that you were duped. You know that it was ALL your fault, but yet you think that if her parents would have just given her $50k or $100k, all would have been solved? You are delusional. How do you not see that her parents cutting her off was the right thing to do?

Good points.

Two things to add. I used the three dollar example to show how, even $100K, would have been mere pocket change for her parents. No big deal to them. That changes the story a lot. I've bought meals for people I didn't know, and would never see again. No big deal. This was not a stranger though - this was their daughter. So what did they expect to happen? For me to spend every dime I had? Well, that's what did happen.

Secondly - what would YOU have done bio, if you were in that position? I asked her to explain things to her parents, which she refused to do. Pride. She thought she could replace her job quickly. You don't replace a job like hers easily. She was not a doctor. She was in high-end corporate sales. This has been over a decade, and she never has risen to that level again. She now has a run of the mill sales job making peanuts.

So there I was left holding the bag with very few options. What would YOU have done?

PS - I do appreciate your response very much. Thanks!
 
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biophase

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So there I was left holding the bag with very few options. What would YOU have done?

PS - I do appreciate your response very much. Thanks!

I do have two true stories to share.

When I went to college (and my parents did pay for it), my parents would give me a check for $10,000 per semester. That check covered tuition, rent, utilities and all food and expenses for the entire semester! My parents trusted me with a $10,000 check at 18. And every semester, I made it last and never asked for more.

My friends (who's parents paid for their college) got $1000 a month and their parents directly paid the college and the landlord.

Why? Because parents know their kids and they know who is responsible and who isn't.

My second story, my friend Tom once went to his parents and asked for $500 (when he was 24) and his mom just went and gave it to him. His aunt who was there was shocked. But his mom told his aunt, Tom would never ask for money if he didn't need it or have something important to use it on. Now Tom's brother Mike, never got a penny from the mom because he was frivolous and irresponsible with money.

So I think in your case, your fiancee probably was Tom's brother Mike, her parents were probably sick and tired of bailing her out. At some point it has to stop. And you just happen to be there for her parents to offload her burden on to you.

If I was in your spot, I would have told her to find a job no matter what it paid. I would have probably paid the expenses for a few months but seeing that it wasn't going anywhere, I would have stopped. I would have made her sell the car.

I assume the house wasn't under your name, so why pay the mortgage? You were an enabler and you didn't know it. What you were doing was enabling her to keep her standard of living without accepting any responsibilities for it. If you stopped paying the mortgage and for utilities, what would have happened? I doubt she would have been happy when there was no power and you were both sitting in the dark. She probably would have asked her parents for money.
 

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It doesn't matter how big or small of a deal it would have been to them to give you $1 or $1 million. It's their choice to control their money how they CHOOSE.

I can answer what I'd do because I did it. In a similar situation but not exact, my daughter was always wanting for me to give her money. At first, I did..... until she kept blowing it. I could have given her $100,000 and it would have been gone by the end of the month. So here is what I did..... I told her we would take care of her son for her because she was not paying any attention to him anyway (he was 8 years old). She agreed. Over the next few years she asked and asked and asked for money and I never gave in. Over time, she straightened out a little bit at a time. 8 years later she has somewhat control of her life, been with the same guy for 6 years, they have both straightened each other out. He has a decent J.O.B., they have a house on 3 acres out in the country in Florida. She has just about straightened up all the way, has another baby boy and we still have custody of her other son who is 16. We only still have custody because he likes it here and he does way better in school here.... she is secure enough now to have him back if she/he wanted. Or.... I could have kept the money funnel going and she would still be a loser.

That's what I'd do..... help, not hurt by being a money funnel. So tell me how the money funnel would help people? I've given 2 examples where my way worked way better than a money funnel.
 

Real Deal Denver

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Not to derail the thread - I'll close this out and "return to our regularly scheduled program."

After giving this much thought, I can now figure out what happened. When she was in college - she had everything taken care of - but that wasn't enough. She would sell her clothes to her friends for extra money. Her Mom would come to visit and she'd cry that the mean girls would borrow her clothes and never give them back. Her Mom then would "well we'll just take care of that" go out and spend a few thou on new designer clothes, and the cycle would repeat. Funny how liars don't plan things out, and not tell others the real story of what happened.

So I'm sure that the story her parents heard was that she lost her job - cried herself to sleep every night - and I, being the dirtbag I am, walked out and left her high and dry. Poor little Daddy's girl. So I'm a piece of crap in their book.

Thanks for the insight that helped piece together what probably happened. Today, by the way, she's living a very simple no-frills life. Certainly no knight in shining armor in her life either. (I keep tabs on people)

Unfortunately, someday she will be a multi-millionaire from inheritance.

Maybe I will be too. I have a few plans in the works.

But the point is this; some people will go to hell and back to help others. Especially if it's their brother or sister. I would, and I have had my brothers do that for me. It sickens me that someone would place money over the people closest to them in life. In this case, I think the OP should take the money that his brother offered. It's an honor, really, to have a brother like that - but no big deal to me, because that's my automatic response that's built in.

And then we have the Steve Jobs of the world. Leaves his ex and daughter to live hand to mouth. And when it makes the news, he STILL doesn't care. My God- if that's what money does to you, I'd rather be broke. At least I could live with myself. THAT'S my point. So many here (and everywhere) placing so much importance on money. Here's something of interest. I view a company as a means to an end. I have a list of people I'm hoping to employ in my company. The main reason is that they have a miserable existence and they NEED someone to rescue them. They can't do it on their own. Funny isn't it - one of my driving forces is not to make money - but to provide for someone. The polar opposite of Jobs and Lewis.

The way I look at it is we're only here for a short time. Some of us are lucky in love - some very successful in business - a few just plain lucky in everything (think movie stars). If we can't share our talents and resources, what good are we? Ever wonder why we're here in the first place - what are we supposed to be doing? It isn't collecting as much money as we possibly can.

I'd never want to be like Marie Antoinette for example. So self-centered that she couldn't even see that her "people" were starving to death. Jobs and Lewis treated their own families the same way. Utterly unbelievable. What could Job's daughter do to deserve to live in poverty? I don't know yet - but I will - when I read her book someday (at least her version).

Thanks, bio for the response again. I should have called her Dad direct. It's highly doubtful I will ever cross paths with him - but now I think I know the whole story. Not that he would care, but I would want to hear it if I was him. One more side note - we always got along perfectly - we both greatly admired each other. I learned SO much from him, and he appreciated the fact that I highly respected his accomplishments and wanted to learn as much as I could from him (which I did). Such a shame things turned out the way they did.

Rant: OFF
 
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lunga ngcobo

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I once had this great business idea and decided to find people to fund it. after a few months i did find someone to invest and the deal was we would become partners. the business idea was a horrible one so we started losing loads of money. in the end my investor decided to sell everything and i was left with nothing but still demanded i pay them all the money lost during the 12 months of business. the stress of starting from scratch and having someone on my neck for their lost money was horrifying.

So my advice is, if a business cannot be raised from scratch then it's probably going to get you trouble. my situation favored me because the investor could not take me to court but had i straight borrowed that money... boy would i be in deep shit.

The best thing to do is to just start that business from scratch and boost trap it. But if you realy need extra money make sure its not a straight loan but find investors and sign an agreement that protects you.

And Lastly! borrowing money from family is the worst because you stand a good chance of ruining family relationships if your business idea never works out.
 

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