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I got rejected everywhere I went

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Tuvo Apps

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I started with entrepreneurship because of rejection. And it was the best motivator!

But I just can't do it anymore. Let me explain.

Ever since I was in kindergarden, I was always the kid that everyone was mocking and making fun of.
In school, every time I had a friend, he then used something I told him against me, and soon the whole school was making fun of me.

I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I was naively trying to make more friends for a few more years, until I learnt not to trust anybody.

Rejection, everywhere I went.

It was the same story in high school, but I met a guy there who had his own business and was making quite a lot of money.

He got accepted socially thanks to his money. I though "This has to be it!"

For the next 6 years till now, I worked restlessly to build a business, so that one day I could be a valuable part of the society.

I didn't have to make any sacriices, since I didn't have any friends.

I just wanted to show up in a Ferrari, so that everyone would understand.

"Oh, so that's why he was so awkward and insecure! He was working on his goal to become a millionaire!"


A year ago, I joined a club of people who want to improve their social skills. I got a lot better, learnt to like myself a bit more, had a few girlfriends, and made a lot of new friends.

I am still overthinking the most basic things, like how to reply to my friend invivting me to a party. But it's a lot better - for example, I'm finally not afraid to post this post here on the forum and potentially lose all respect - I wouldn't mind if that happened, if it meant I would get some advice

Now when I understand this social life a lot more, I realised: Why am I still working on that dream to become rich? I already have that validation - I don't need the money to explain myself!

I realised, that entrepreneurship is such a great part of me now - I learnt to love the process of making money (and I finally had some success now). I can't go get a job and live a normal life.

But I would love that!! I would love to go every morning to job where I would be accepted, chat with my colleagues, maybe go to the cinema in the evening. Be happy.

I would love to not have to think about my business all the time, and how I'm going to win and be better than my firends, or constantly think about if I'm awkward right now. I HATE this.

I can't get a job and be normal, because business is such a big part of who I am. It's my identity. Getting a job would mean I failed. Everyone around me would think I failed, and I would think I failed.
Even if it meant I would ultimately be happy.

All of this thinking makes me mad already.

I would love to... just chill. Not have to prove anything to anyone.

Does anyone feel the same? I'll be happy for any feedback.


TLDR: Wanted to be successful because I was rejected everywhere I went. Wanted to prove my worth.
Now I have a few friends, and I know that I don't need millions to be valuable. I have no motivation to continue with entrepreneurship,
but I learnt to love the proccess, and it's such a big part of my identity that I can't stop.
 

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fastlanedoll

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Don't live life trying to appease other people. You need to do what makes YOU happy.
I'm honestly happier having less friends. You can't trust too many people these days. Everyone is out for themselves.
A lot of the times, 'friends' = drama.

Go into entreprenership because YOU want to. Make money because YOU want to.

Lastly, I really, really hate to sound rude (and maybe you know this already), have you ever gotten checked out for autism?
I am truly just trying to help *hugs* <3
I hope you find the happiness you are looking for.
 

Lyinx

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I started with entrepreneurship because of rejection. And it was the best motivator!

But I just can't do it anymore. Let me explain.

Ever since I was in kindergarden, I was always the kid that everyone was mocking and making fun of.
In school, every time I had a friend, he then used something I told him against me, and soon the whole school was making fun of me.

I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I was naively trying to make more friends for a few more years, until I learnt not to trust anybody.

Rejection, everywhere I went.

It was the same story in high school, but I met a guy there who had his own business and was making quite a lot of money.

He got accepted socially thanks to his money. I though "This has to be it!"

For the next 6 years till now, I worked restlessly to build a business, so that one day I could be a valuable part of the society.

I didn't have to make any sacriices, since I didn't have any friends.

I just wanted to show up in a Ferrari, so that everyone would understand.

"Oh, so that's why he was so awkward and insecure! He was working on his goal to become a millionaire!"


A year ago, I joined a club of people who want to improve their social skills. I got a lot better, learnt to like myself a bit more, had a few girlfriends, and made a lot of new friends.

I am still overthinking the most basic things, like how to reply to my friend invivting me to a party. But it's a lot better - for example, I'm finally not afraid to post this post here on the forum and potentially lose all respect - I wouldn't mind if that happened, if it meant I would get some advice

Now when I understand this social life a lot more, I realised: Why am I still working on that dream to become rich? I already have that validation - I don't need the money to explain myself!

I realised, that entrepreneurship is such a great part of me now - I learnt to love the process of making money (and I finally had some success now). I can't go get a job and live a normal life.

But I would love that!! I would love to go every morning to job where I would be accepted, chat with my colleagues, maybe go to the cinema in the evening. Be happy.

I would love to not have to think about my business all the time, and how I'm going to win and be better than my firends, or constantly think about if I'm awkward right now. I HATE this.

I can't get a job and be normal, because business is such a big part of who I am. It's my identity. Getting a job would mean I failed. Everyone around me would think I failed, and I would think I failed.
Even if it meant I would ultimately be happy.

All of this thinking makes me mad already.

I would love to... just chill. Not have to prove anything to anyone.

Does anyone feel the same? I'll be happy for any feedback.


TLDR: Wanted to be successful because I was rejected everywhere I went. Wanted to prove my worth.
Now I have a few friends, and I know that I don't need millions to be valuable. I have no motivation to continue with entrepreneurship,
but I learnt to love the proccess, and it's such a big part of my identity that I can't stop.
You've shared your story, so it's only fair that I share mine :)
My goal: own my own home, and live relatively debt free (I'm 27 Yr old at time of writing this)
I broke down my goal, and figured out how far I needed to go to achieve it, and then went there, and quit (as per the plan)

The achievement of "more money" will never end. If you can find something that you would like to buy/have/do that would make you happy, then decide what it is, and then quit.

If you don't know where to stop, then you will never stop.

Vague, yes. Hope this helps :)
 

Yzn

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Are you burnt out?

I remember feeling like this when I was running the grocery store.

I was the cashier, sales guy, shelf guy, storage guy, accountant, customer service etc.

And for 2 years I was only making basic wage. So not even cash money young money motivation.

So are you burnt out?
Maybe you're doing too much?

These "I'd love to just get a damn job and live like the rest" ideas usually come when you're doing everything which your physical body can not take anymore.

Maybe you need to delegate?
I don't know about your business so I'm not sure.
 

Bekit

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Thanks for sharing your post. I have a few thoughts to share:

But I just can't do it anymore. Let me explain.
Watch the language that you use. "I can't" is a very destructive phrase to permit into your vocabulary.

I learnt not to trust anybody.
I'm sorry that you have experienced so much rejection. I believe you will find that many people here on the forum have similarly been burned by many people in the past. It hurts to come to the place where trust is broken. I wish it didn't have to be the case. Let me just acknowledge that.

For the next 6 years till now, I worked restlessly to build a business,
Congratulations on your business!

so that one day I could be a valuable part of the society.
It sounds like a big part of the source of your drive is just wanting to "fit in." You didn't fit in when you were growing up, and you're still longing for that now. Is that accurate?

A year ago, I joined a club of people who want to improve their social skills. I got a lot better, learnt to like myself a bit more, had a few girlfriends, and made a lot of new friends.
Congratulations! I'm very happy that you made progress in this area and built some good relationships with friends.

Social skills don't come naturally to everyone, but you've shown that it IS learnable.

I am still overthinking the most basic things, like how to reply to my friend invivting me to a party.
Even though this is learnable, it'll probably be a lifelong process of discovery for you. Skills that are obvious and natural to others will take you a lot of effort to attain. (I speak from personal experience.) This is just something for you to accept as part of the territory for you. No use moping about it. Just keep on being curious and asking questions and finding opportunities to learn these skills.

But it's a lot better - for example, I'm finally not afraid to post this post here on the forum and potentially lose all respect
There's nothing you posted here that would cause you to lose all respect. From this post, I see a successful entrepreneur who has overcome massive odds and social rejection to get to where you are today. You haven't let your past define you. You've worked on improving yourself. Everything about this says that you're worthy of respect.

Now when I understand this social life a lot more, I realised: Why am I still working on that dream to become rich? I already have that validation - I don't need the money to explain myself!
It's fairly common for a person who finally attains a lifelong goal to feel a sense of letdown. You wonder, "Is this all there is?" You thought that you would be finally happy when you reached your goal, but once you have it, you feel a sense of emptiness. It's a massive disappointment not to experience the happiness that you assumed would be part of reaching the goal. You're not alone in this.

I realised, that entrepreneurship is such a great part of me now - I learnt to love the process of making money (and I finally had some success now). I can't go get a job and live a normal life.
Observe your choice of words. "I can't" again.

Actually, you CAN - but it would be a blow to your identity.

So really, what I'm reading into this is that if you were to go "get a job and live a normal life," you would lose a big part of what makes you who you are today.

So what you go on to say next is a massive contradiction.

But I would love that!! I would love to go every morning to job where I would be accepted, chat with my colleagues, maybe go to the cinema in the evening. Be happy.
No, you wouldn't.

Your imagination is not serving you here.

You're telling yourself that if you just had a "normal job and normal life," you'd be happy.

This is false.

Here's what I predict would happen to you in a "normal job."

You wouldn't be accepted. The whole experience of rejection would come screaming back, full force.

As an entrepreneur, you get to call the shots. But as an employee, you'd have to fit into someone else's mold.

This is never going to work for you. It didn't work while you were in school, and it's not going to work while you're in a job. It would be like Steve Jobs getting stuck in a role as an associate at Target.

Being in a job as an employee is one of the most brutal experiences you can have when your brain is wired in a way that frequently results in other people classifying you as a misfit.

You'll be CONSTANTLY stepping on toes without meaning to.

Constantly wondering how to respond to the latest office drama (and always guessing wrong).

Constantly hearing about coworkers doing things together that they didn't bother to invite you to.

Constantly wondering what you're doing wrong and trying to bend over backwards to fit in.

I speak from experience.

This takes a MASSIVE amount of energy. It kills your creativity. It causes you to always be looking over your shoulder. It contributes to the feeling that you can't trust anyone. You'll want to just slink away and hide - but you'll have to keep showing up to make your paycheck.

Your happiness will NEVER be found in a job.

I would love to not have to think about my business all the time, and how I'm going to win and be better than my firends, or constantly think about if I'm awkward right now. I HATE this.
It's a fact that as an entrepreneur, you'll always be thinking about your business. That comes with the territory. You said you've learned to love it. You have what it takes to be successful.

However, being an entrepreneur does NOT mean that you have to constantly be thinking about (1) how you're going to win and be better than your friends or (2) if you're awkward right now.

Let go of (1) and keep working on your social skills to minimize (2).

I can't get a job and be normal, because business is such a big part of who I am. It's my identity. Getting a job would mean I failed. Everyone around me would think I failed, and I would think I failed.
Even if it meant I would ultimately be happy.
There's "I can't" again.

But you're setting up a false dichotomy here.

You're framing the problem as if you're stuck in an impasse where (A) the only way to be happy is to have "a normal job" and (B) Getting a job would wreck your identity and spell failure.

So you're getting frustrated at the fact that happiness is denied you because it's only found in a "normal job where you can chill and go to the cinema in the evenings and be like other people."

Wrong.

You have other alternatives. What are they?

I would love to... just chill. Not have to prove anything to anyone.
Can MJ just chill? Does he have to prove anything to anyone?

So you can have that scenario as an entrepreneur, too.
 

amp0193

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I would love to... just chill. Not have to prove anything to anyone.
Some people want to change the world and make it better.

Others want to netflix and chill.


There's a reason for the drive, and at the core, I don't think it's to "prove something".


Unless it's to prove something to yourself. To show yourself what you're capable of.


Delete your Facebook if you have one. That will help. Makes it much easier to stop the comparison mind games.
 
OP
OP
Tuvo Apps

Tuvo Apps

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Thank you for the kind replies everyone. It's been a while, but believe me when I say I've been thinking about this issue the whole time.

If you don't know where to stop, then you will never stop.
Honestly, I don't think I'll ever stop. I'll always be thinking about new projects and ideas. I want to be the 60 years old millionaire looking for an idea to spend all his money on :). But I get what you're saying.

You need to do what makes YOU happy.
I know what makes me happy on the inside, but it doesn't seem so worthwhile pursuing. The last thing I want is to look back at my life and say "I could have had all the cool supercars and could have impressed all these people and lived a dope life - but instead I chose to do what makes me happy." (The things I love don't have anything to do with impressing others - hence why they're more boring).

I never got checked out for autism, but I don't think I have it. I would understand the people and the world a lot better, if I had the chance to speak to people and to be heard. I think that all the questions I have come from rejection and isolation. And if I have autism, I think it also helps me a lot in my life - for example, I overthink every message I send, which means I'm always super precise about what I say to a potential client - that's why I'm good at sales.

There's a reason for the drive, and at the core, I don't think it's to "prove something".
I mean, I know that I'm definitely going to achieve great things. No doubt about that. It's my duty to be great. But at the same time, I feel like I don't even deserve to have any friends - why would they hang out with me? What do I have to offer? I seriously don't know. It's a very weird feeling, I know I'm great, but at the same thime I feel like I'm not.

I don't know where my drive comes from, I just sort of always had it. But proving something to others sounds like the only option to me. Achieving great things to see peopke open their mouths, awakening emotions in people - I literally don't see any other reason why would someone want to succeed. But if it does help me succeed, then who cares what motivated me, right? The results will be there, you just need a strong motivator, even if it's your identity.

You have other alternatives. What are they?
Thank you so much Bekit. Your reply made me very happy. It seems like you've come through quite a lot as well.

You're right with the social drama thing - I would never be able to chill in a "social group" situation. I hate the drama. It does take a ton of energy to think about how to talk with who, who is trying to take my position in the group, etc.

I think I have two choices:
1
) I can try and become the person that thrives in these social settings. I can just forget about all the questions and insecurities I have, overwrite the bad experiences from the past, learn how people work, and be normal.

2) I can extract the thing I wanted from the "normal job life" - which is having friends to talk to. To have a few people in my life that would care about my life, and wouldn't make fun of me. Stable people that don't need drama in their lives. Although this option seems like 'giving up' - rather that facing my fears and going into harsh social groups, I would just avoid them - but having a few normal friends would be awesome!

Anyway, the second option would require a lot of studying of people on my part too - How do I even make friends? I had a few chances to become friends with great people, but it always ended for some reason - either I felt I didn't provide enough value in the firendship, or I felt too needy to even text the friend.

It's going to be a long journey, but messages like yours give me hope that I'm not the only one with these problems. Thanks again.
 

sparechange

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Maybe entrepreneurship isn't for you if you have no motivation. Go get a job at Mcdonalds and unclog shit stained toilets for minimum wage while getting yelled at management from third world countries, maybe that is your true calling.

You have a horrible view of money, money is not about buying a box with wheels (Ferrari) But about freedom and the pleasures to do whatever you desire with free time.

Regardless of whatever anyone says, money is one of the most important things in life besides health and relationships with other human beings on this big spinning thing. You need food, shelter, and the ability to do fun things like sip martinis on the beach and jumping some big waves on a jetski. Unfortunately these things cost money, and that is the reason for entrepreneurship, but first to do these things, what value or perceived value can you provide to the world? No one owes you a dam thing in life. You have to go out and take it, refer to the quote in my sig from Felix Dennis.
 

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Lyinx

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Anyway, the second option would require a lot of studying of people on my part too - How do I even make friends?
If you looking to study people, I've got a list of books that I could share

Maybe entrepreneurship isn't for you if you have no motivation. Go get a job at Mcdonalds and unclog shit stained toilets for minimum wage while getting yelled at management from third world countries, maybe that is your true calling.

You have a horrible view of money, money is not about buying a box with wheels (Ferrari) But about freedom and the pleasures to do whatever you desire with free time.

Regardless of whatever anyone says, money is one of the most important things in life besides health and relationships with other human beings on this big spinning thing. You need food, shelter, and the ability to do fun things like sip martinis on the beach and jumping some big waves on a jetski. Unfortunately these things cost money, and that is the reason for entrepreneurship, but first to do these things, what value or perceived value can you provide to the world? No one owes you a dam thing in life. You have to go out and take it, refer to the quote in my sig from Felix Dennis.
@sparechange has a LOT of good points... and I've got to wonder... how old are is @Tuvo Apps ? @Tuvo Apps would you mind sharing?

from your posts I would say your on the younger side? I'm 27 and the last 3 years have really changed my worldview. From 16 to 24 I would say I was like you (focused on how others perceive me/how many possessions I have) and now I'm more focused on myself (how I enjoy life/what I will do/and how I will impact others)

this is a normal progression through life... (or so I've noticed in my life and others around me).

If you are setting yourself up to follow the fast lane lifestyle... that doesn't mean you get to drive sports cars just because you want to right away... it means making money first and setting up income streams so that when you decide to drive sports cars that you have FU money so that you can easily afford to do so.

why would they hang out with me? What do I have to offer? I seriously don't know. It's a very weird feeling, I know I'm great, but at the same thime I feel like I'm not.
Friends: those who know how shitty you are, and still choose to hang with you... be a friend in return to them, if they need a hand, lend a hand.. that's a large part about what life is about.

No one owes you a dam thing in life. You have to go out and take it, refer to the quote in my sig from Felix Dennis.
this cannot be repeated enough... it's the turning point in any person's life. If ya sit on your ask, you won't get anything! (ask=a$$)
 

TheProcess

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Thank you for the kind replies everyone. It's been a while, but believe me when I say I've been thinking about this issue the whole time.


Honestly, I don't think I'll ever stop. I'll always be thinking about new projects and ideas. I want to be the 60 years old millionaire looking for an idea to spend all his money on :). But I get what you're saying.


I know what makes me happy on the inside, but it doesn't seem so worthwhile pursuing. The last thing I want is to look back at my life and say "I could have had all the cool supercars and could have impressed all these people and lived a dope life - but instead I chose to do what makes me happy." (The things I love don't have anything to do with impressing others - hence why they're more boring).

I never got checked out for autism, but I don't think I have it. I would understand the people and the world a lot better, if I had the chance to speak to people and to be heard. I think that all the questions I have come from rejection and isolation. And if I have autism, I think it also helps me a lot in my life - for example, I overthink every message I send, which means I'm always super precise about what I say to a potential client - that's why I'm good at sales.


I mean, I know that I'm definitely going to achieve great things. No doubt about that. It's my duty to be great. But at the same time, I feel like I don't even deserve to have any friends - why would they hang out with me? What do I have to offer? I seriously don't know. It's a very weird feeling, I know I'm great, but at the same thime I feel like I'm not.

I don't know where my drive comes from, I just sort of always had it. But proving something to others sounds like the only option to me. Achieving great things to see peopke open their mouths, awakening emotions in people - I literally don't see any other reason why would someone want to succeed. But if it does help me succeed, then who cares what motivated me, right? The results will be there, you just need a strong motivator, even if it's your identity.


Thank you so much Bekit. Your reply made me very happy. It seems like you've come through quite a lot as well.

You're right with the social drama thing - I would never be able to chill in a "social group" situation. I hate the drama. It does take a ton of energy to think about how to talk with who, who is trying to take my position in the group, etc.

I think I have two choices:
1
) I can try and become the person that thrives in these social settings. I can just forget about all the questions and insecurities I have, overwrite the bad experiences from the past, learn how people work, and be normal.

2) I can extract the thing I wanted from the "normal job life" - which is having friends to talk to. To have a few people in my life that would care about my life, and wouldn't make fun of me. Stable people that don't need drama in their lives. Although this option seems like 'giving up' - rather that facing my fears and going into harsh social groups, I would just avoid them - but having a few normal friends would be awesome!

Anyway, the second option would require a lot of studying of people on my part too - How do I even make friends? I had a few chances to become friends with great people, but it always ended for some reason - either I felt I didn't provide enough value in the firendship, or I felt too needy to even text the friend.

It's going to be a long journey, but messages like yours give me hope that I'm not the only one with these problems. Thanks again.
Hey. I can relate to some of the things you write about here.

"The last thing I want is to look back at my life and say "I could have had all the cool supercars and could have impressed all these people and lived a dope life - but instead I chose to do what makes me happy.""

I used to think like this but it can be dangerous way of thinking. Forget about the cars and impressing other people. Similar to you, I faced social rejection as a kid and it took me a lot of time to become a "natural". Now I'm perfectly fine socially and it's a part of my nature. I no longer overthink simple things, but it took time. I say this to show you that it can happen, and I hope it happens for you.

I also think your view on happiness is dangerous. Happiness is not something that you chase, or something that is a goal. Happiness is something that comes when you stop looking for it. When you turn your head and focus on something else, such as building a business or working on a cool project. Don't ever try to chase happiness.

Just as important, you need to enjoy the process. F*ck the destination. If you don't enjoy the process, then I promise you that the destination will not feel meaningful if you get there.

I recommend you read about conditions of worth, because it seems as though you have some. Furthermore, I recommend you check out some books on happiness and enjoying the process, such as the book "flow", or the happiness project / the happiness hypothesis. You don't need to read the the entire books, you can simply check out summaries on YouTube or Blinklist.

"I mean, I know that I'm definitely going to achieve great things. No doubt about that."

Actually, there is a doubt about that. You can get hit by a bus tomorrow for example. I think it would help you to focus more on the moment, on one small step at a time, and have a more balanced mindset.

"But at the same time, I feel like I don't even deserve to have any friends - why would they hang out with me? What do I have to offer? I seriously don't know."

Once again, a condition of worth. You are enough, as a human being. You're being very hard on yourself here. It remind me a lot of myself. Of course you deserve friends, don't tell yourself otherwise.

"I don't know where my drive comes from, I just sort of always had it. But proving something to others sounds like the only option to me. Achieving great things to see peopke open their mouths, awakening emotions in people - I literally don't see any other reason why would someone want to succeed. But if it does help me succeed, then who cares what motivated me, right? The results will be there, you just need a strong motivator, even if it's your identity."

I think this is a dangerous mindset. Forget about the others, about proving them wrong. I used to think like this at one point. So many people hurt me that I decided that success would be my ultimate revenge. The reason I wanted to be successful was to be able to tell everyone "F*ck you" at the end of it all. But I no longer think this way. I find the process of slowly improving myself rewarding for its own sake. Let me ask you something, do you have OCD?

With everything here being said, please take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm no expert and I've still got a long way to go myself. Bekit analyzed my own post the other day when I wasn't doing too well. I also don't mean to sound insulting or if I do, just trying to help because I can relate and because I once had a very similar way of thinking.
 

Nemolein

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What do I have to offer? I seriously don't know. It's a very weird feeling, I know I'm great, but at the same thime I feel like I'm not.
God, this phrase touched my heart because im on the same situation. We are aware we have something useful and value to give. Maybe we need help or just talk to someone who could help to finally start using our knowledge in order to add value
 

Xeon

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This is never going to work for you. It didn't work while you were in school, and it's not going to work while you're in a job. It would be like Steve Jobs getting stuck in a role as an associate at Target.

Being in a job as an employee is one of the most brutal experiences you can have when your brain is wired in a way that frequently results in other people classifying you as a misfit.

You'll be CONSTANTLY stepping on toes without meaning to.

Constantly wondering how to respond to the latest office drama (and always guessing wrong).

Constantly hearing about coworkers doing things together that they didn't bother to invite you to.

Constantly wondering what you're doing wrong and trying to bend over backwards to fit in.

I speak from experience.

This takes a MASSIVE amount of energy. It kills your creativity. It causes you to always be looking over your shoulder. It contributes to the feeling that you can't trust anyone. You'll want to just slink away and hide - but you'll have to keep showing up to make your paycheck.

Your happiness will NEVER be found in a job.

This is so gold that I'm going to save this and come back and re-read this later tonight.

 

Kevin88660

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I started with entrepreneurship because of rejection. And it was the best motivator!

But I just can't do it anymore. Let me explain.

Ever since I was in kindergarden, I was always the kid that everyone was mocking and making fun of.
In school, every time I had a friend, he then used something I told him against me, and soon the whole school was making fun of me.

I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I was naively trying to make more friends for a few more years, until I learnt not to trust anybody.

Rejection, everywhere I went.

It was the same story in high school, but I met a guy there who had his own business and was making quite a lot of money.

He got accepted socially thanks to his money. I though "This has to be it!"

For the next 6 years till now, I worked restlessly to build a business, so that one day I could be a valuable part of the society.

I didn't have to make any sacriices, since I didn't have any friends.

I just wanted to show up in a Ferrari, so that everyone would understand.

"Oh, so that's why he was so awkward and insecure! He was working on his goal to become a millionaire!"


A year ago, I joined a club of people who want to improve their social skills. I got a lot better, learnt to like myself a bit more, had a few girlfriends, and made a lot of new friends.

I am still overthinking the most basic things, like how to reply to my friend invivting me to a party. But it's a lot better - for example, I'm finally not afraid to post this post here on the forum and potentially lose all respect - I wouldn't mind if that happened, if it meant I would get some advice

Now when I understand this social life a lot more, I realised: Why am I still working on that dream to become rich? I already have that validation - I don't need the money to explain myself!

I realised, that entrepreneurship is such a great part of me now - I learnt to love the process of making money (and I finally had some success now). I can't go get a job and live a normal life.

But I would love that!! I would love to go every morning to job where I would be accepted, chat with my colleagues, maybe go to the cinema in the evening. Be happy.

I would love to not have to think about my business all the time, and how I'm going to win and be better than my firends, or constantly think about if I'm awkward right now. I HATE this.

I can't get a job and be normal, because business is such a big part of who I am. It's my identity. Getting a job would mean I failed. Everyone around me would think I failed, and I would think I failed.
Even if it meant I would ultimately be happy.

All of this thinking makes me mad already.

I would love to... just chill. Not have to prove anything to anyone.

Does anyone feel the same? I'll be happy for any feedback.


TLDR: Wanted to be successful because I was rejected everywhere I went. Wanted to prove my worth.
Now I have a few friends, and I know that I don't need millions to be valuable. I have no motivation to continue with entrepreneurship,
but I learnt to love the proccess, and it's such a big part of my identity that I can't stop.
It depends on which life stage you are in.

For college kids spending daddy’s money money goal might be too distant.

Wait until you have a boss and job you hate, you wife complaining about why you cannot get a promotion while John had, you cannot afford to send your child to a private school to avoid mixing with bad kids..You will barely have time even texting your college and high school friends that time... because everyone has their own issues to settle just like you.

You can ignore money but I don’t think money will ignore you.
 

Knicks

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You're an entrepreneur now, there is no way back. Accept it and move forward. Otherwise you're driving yourself not only mad but truely unhappy.

Build something you can sell and then chill. Take some time off and reevaluate on how to help society in a big way having fun doing so.

Most people are living a fake live anyway without even knowing it. True freedom comes from choices, and without money your choices are limited.

Take some time and learn to appreciate the fortunate position you are in. The rejection you've faced in the past only adjusted your sight for how ruthless the world is.

Accept that almost everyone only cares for himself and don't try to appeal to anyone. Only then you'll find happiness.

Don't give up!
 

Bekit

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This is so gold that I'm going to save this and come back and re-read this later tonight.

Thanks Xeon!
(But please: no bowing down to me. I'm a mortal, just like you. Funny gif in its over-the-top dramaticness, but now imagine that instead of standing motionless, the girl takes you by the shoulder and says, "Hey, get up man, we're all equal here." )
 

P3HSB

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Your happiness will NEVER be found in a job.
your happiness will never be found in a business as well. Your transition from job to business only increases your problems which will in turn make you more stressed and more unhappy

Business is not for everyone, but you can always be a hybrid entrepreneur and get a taste of both world while maintaining your sanity and just live your life
 
Last edited:

Itsmeantonios

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May 28, 2020
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What makes you feel like you have to impress other people and fit in? You only need to do what you feel you need to do, not what others want you to do.

Excuse my language, but F*** other people if they don't like you, think you're strange, or whatever the case may be. You are who you are and you don't need to conform to other people's social circles. Having a job sounds like the exact opposite of what would work for you. To do well at a company you need to fake being friends with people, fake liking your boss even if you think he/she's a pile of garbage, fake enjoying standing around chatting with other people you actually don't care about at all. Based on your post, I really don't think you want a job. You just feel like you need to fit in, for some reason. I don't really understand that and would love to hear why you feel like that is so important.

I haven't fallen into the same problem as you. I don't have a problem making friends. I do have a problem with women though. Not that I can't talk to them or anything like that, but the vast majority of women are just not interested in me for some reason. Why? I have no idea. I don't think I'm particularly unattractive, pretty average there I think. I've worked in careers the average person would think attract women out of the wood work: police officer, pilot.

Makes no difference. I don't let it get to me. If I meet a woman some day who is drawn to me and I'm drawn to her - great. If not, well I guess I'll just be single forever. I've come to terms and accept that I am who I am and if that means I never have a wife, then it is what it is and there's nothing I can do to change that. I'm not going to try to alter my personality to conform to someone else's idea of an ideal partner.

It sounds like you need to come to terms that it doesn't matter if you "fit in." Or maybe reconsider what it means to you to fit in, or why you feel like that is so important.

Wish you the best!
 

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