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The rule is "Don’t talk about what it’s like to be a man who is struggling."

I've been suffering for years, but stuffing it up, hiding, and suppressing this pain, but after introducing myself to a book "Men's Work" everything became clear.

I want to have an honest, brutal, super no bullshit talk about the problems we face as men.

I was afraid because people used me many times after me opening up to them, or helping them with valuable advice, it is my own behaviour that manifested it, but still the burden is here, the fear and insecurity is that you reading this may laugh your a$$ off reading about my absurd problems or receiving an advice that will destroy me or disagreeing, whatever, read it if you want, just be honest with me, even though it may hurt me, make me disagree.

My whole childhood my father abused me, like most men, it was very f*cked up, but my father never worked or did anything valuable his whole life, he manipulated my mother to work on a job to this day and he yelled at me and repressed everything about me with threats after each act of self reliancy, autonomy, argument/opinion, and even word, there comes a fear of disagreeing or talking my opinion, fear of action without an approval of a father figure or authority and little hatred to those whom my projection is casted upon, desire to be better, but fear that makes me bitter, it is this complex and absurd trauma, this shadow of mine that is about to be discussed.

My mentor is a woman, it was online, for a year her name and whether she's male or female was a mystery, she saved my life by giving me four book reccomendations, and by listening to me like nobody listened before, she was a father figure to me for a year, and...
My goal is to meet her one day and simply be loyal friend to her, but without this friendzone shit, because... I'll date other women, and just he honest to them, as my favourite author of this "relationship" books writes, you gotta be very honest, for example if you see a woman you like - approach and tell her what you want or need or what is your intention "You're beautiful, give your number or social media account" and if she didn't reject "I want a short term relationship with you, casual sex and little bit of fun" and that is all, if you're honest you can't be manipulated.

I don't know how to talk about my problems, because practicing this wasn't my priority and it is not my skill, but look...
For a year, I've been making father figure after father figure trying to find a perfect one whom I'll be able to obey and listen like a little dog starving for approval and love, I've been making father figures after father figures: Hamza, Demarco, Gadzhi, Hormozi, Hardy (both Darren and Ben) and a lot of self-help authors, trying to get their approval which is what they told is good and bad in book, but the moment disagreement happened, like...
I was unable to, I felt anxious, when I was 13 I was watching Hamza's video on why videogames are bad and you shouldn't play it, I had some complex PTSD, because with my literal perception he wasn't talking about them, but about both literature, fiction, anime, cartoon, movie, series, manga, comics and music...
I will never agree that these are bad, I know in self-improvement industry people hate what I call "content" but it warms my soul, I am able to balance and I was doing it, I've been watching it independently (movies, anime, series) and only a good and thought provoking ones, but I couldn't disagree, I hate myself to this day for this hilarious and absurd event that somehow triggered trauma, I've been literally...
Feeling anxious, having panic attacks, fearing both content and self-improvement for a whole F*cking year and HIDING it because of shame, because someone is or would laugh, judge, I've been desperate for my father's approval, so much projection and somehow, I met my mentor, she made me work on my shadow, and my beliefs, and my past and reinterpret it, she healed my absurd perception of information when it comes to authority or someone whom I admire, but right now my struggles are...

I am narcissistic, psychopathic, self explanatory, devil lawyer type of piece of F*cking shit with intrusive suicidal and maniacal thoughts from a poor and third world country family with a debt we're unable to pay and with high hope for my future but a constant self sabotage in present.
I've read more books than ever after healing my perception it became extraordinary effective, I didn't ever agree with any author or myself, I just collected information, agreed, saved, then abandoned for further usage, to the point...
Where my intuition became as loud as my overthinking, it started to tell me not only what to do, but how easy it is to do it, how F*cking simple it is to get anything you want or surpass your enemy, how absurd the society is and how absurd your problems are and why anything is possible and why you can and must start now, right now it tells me to simply work on my beliefs once again, heal my trauma through reading about it and performing exercises, approach the girl sitting in front of me, to simply go david goggins but with good information on how to make everything easy (thank you Stephem Guise for your books) and it even tells me to never post this thread, to not overshare, but, I'm going against it, I want to break that motherfucking rule, I'm narcissistic and I think that I'm better than you or anyone in the world, but I reinterpret information so F*cking fast, that I'm able to make any behaviour of mine acceptable to my emotions, I don't know, but it is my emotional immaturity and wounded ego is talking, I'm also very afraid and absurd, I'm afraid of being both wrong or right, it became same for me, I think...
I am both f*cked up and enlightened, I feel like shit, because maybe you'll feel jealous, envious (unconsciously) or even F*cking kinky a$$ motherfucking collective shadow stuff, like, who does he think he is, what the F*ck, I am afraid of criticism, I'm simply hurt, but, I'm able to become better, I'm able to heal, I'm simply doing it because of the book exercise, to open up, to break this motherfucking rule, I need your guidance, I really need it...
I am lost, my inner child is scared of me, I think way too much, I am self sabotaging piece of shit, but, I want to heal it, I want to open up, I'll probably never agree with any advice you send to me, I'll probably never agree to myself.
I am the man who lost any sense of direction, who overthinks and is deadly afraid of being wrong and making ANY mistakes, if you respond to it, I'm afraid it will be both challenging for you and for me, we'll discuss, it is an intellectual challenge, I'm afraid that you'll know more than me or become better than me, but I am F*cking opening the goddamn up, I am doing it, I am opening up, I am glad that you don't know where I live, or who I am or who I'll be, I am so glad for this forum, well, see, the whole post it my overthinking, shit.

I am king with no crown, I think I'm best, but I probably masturbate daily, and I waste my time reading books and being wantrepeneur, overthinking, over-reading, and being extremely unstable, I have hooded eyes, I'm 16 years old, I have anterior pelvic tilt, I can't fight, can't defend myself, still traumatised, I wanna kill people who in my opinion wanna kill me, paranoia, I can't F*cking afford therapist, I feel like shit, I feel good, I am UNABLE to be committed to any opinion, I'm strangely ENTP who is F*cking hating any personalities, I feel like some mad sigma psycho from all these movies, I have megalomania, I don't know guys, haha, save me please, Lord, God, Allah, Universe, I just want you to save me from me, save people from me, save me from people, this whole post is... F*cking... a F*ckin joke!

I'm imagining how you're laughing or simply...

I need your advice...
I desperately want to belong...
I just... I'm lost... I'm a F*cking kid... I'm a F*cking teenager, I'm F*cking... I'm done...
I even attempted suicide recently, I don't feel guilty or shame because it is just a way of getting approval and control...

Okay, my intuition told me - I'm done, thank you for reading, subscribe to my channel, press like button, do the hard work especially when you don't feel like it.
Forgive me.
 
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O'f sidunnipf dsievoph tuni esv, natod us tjogvoph zuas xsovoph vu dsievowi xsovoph us quivsz. Dsievowi iyqsittoup ot e huuf uavmiv vjsuahj xjodj vu djeppim zuas giimopht. Tuni vjopl ov't jiemoph gus vji tuam.
 
Vji sami ot "Fup’v veml ecuav xjev ov’t moli vu ci e nep xju ot tvsahhmoph."

O'wi ciip taggisoph gus ziest, cav tvaggoph ov aq, jofoph, epf taqqsittoph vjot qeop, cav egvis opvsufadoph nztimg vu e cuul "Nip't Xusl" iwiszvjoph cideni dmies.

O xepv vu jewi ep jupitv, csavem, taqis pu cammtjov veml ecuav vji qsucmint xi gedi et nip.

O xet egseof cideati qiuqmi atif ni nepz vonit egvis ni uqipoph aq vu vjin, us jimqoph vjin xovj wemaecmi efwodi, ov ot nz uxp cijewouas vjev nepogitvif ov, cav tvomm vji casfip ot jisi, vji gies epf optidasovz ot vjev zua siefoph vjot nez meahj zuas e$$ ugg siefoph ecuav nz ectasf qsucmint us sidiowoph ep efwodi vjev xomm fitvsuz ni us fotehsiioph, xjeviwis, sief ov og zua xepv, katv ci jupitv xovj ni, iwip vjuahj ov nez jasv ni, neli ni fotehsii.

Nz xjumi djomfjuuf nz gevjis ecatif ni, moli nutv nip, ov xet wisz g*dlif aq, cav nz gevjis piwis xuslif us fof epzvjoph wemaecmi jot xjumi mogi, ji nepoqamevif nz nuvjis vu xusl up e kuc vu vjot fez epf ji zimmif ev ni epf siqsittif iwiszvjoph ecuav ni xovj vjsievt egvis iedj edv ug timg simoepdz, eavupunz, eshanipv/uqopoup, epf iwip xusf, vjisi dunit e gies ug fotehsiioph us vemloph nz uqopoup, gies ug edvoup xovjuav ep eqqsuwem ug e gevjis gohasi us eavjusovz epf movvmi jevsif vu vjuti xjun nz qsukidvoup ot detvif aqup, fitosi vu ci civvis, cav gies vjev nelit ni covvis, ov ot vjot dunqmiy epf ectasf vseane, vjot tjefux ug nopi vjev ot ecuav vu ci fotdattif.

Nz nipvus ot e xunep, ov xet upmopi, gus e zies jis peni epf xjivjis tji't nemi us ginemi xet e nztvisz, tji tewif nz mogi cz howoph ni guas cuul siddunipfevoupt, epf cz motvipoph vu ni moli pucufz motvipif cigusi, tji xet e gevjis gohasi vu ni gus e zies, epf...
Nz huem ot vu niiv jis upi fez epf tonqmz ci muzem gsoipf vu jis, cav xovjuav vjot gsoipfbupi tjov, cideati... O'mm fevi uvjis xunip, epf katv ji jupitv vu vjin, et nz gewuasovi eavjus ug vjot "simevouptjoq" cuult xsovit, zua huvve ci wisz jupitv, gus iyenqmi og zua tii e xunep zua moli - eqqsuedj epf vimm jis xjev zua xepv us piif us xjev ot zuas opvipvoup "Zua'si cieavogam, howi zuas pancis us tudoem nifoe edduapv" epf og tji fofp'v sikidv "O xepv e tjusv visn simevouptjoq xovj zua, detaem tiy epf movvmi cov ug gap" epf vjev ot emm, og zua'si jupitv zua dep'v ci nepoqamevif.

O fup'v lpux jux vu veml ecuav nz qsucmint, cideati qsedvodoph vjot xetp'v nz qsousovz epf ov ot puv nz tlomm, cav muul...
Gus e zies, O'wi ciip neloph gevjis gohasi egvis gevjis gohasi vszoph vu gopf e qisgidv upi xjun O'mm ci ecmi vu uciz epf motvip moli e movvmi fuh tveswoph gus eqqsuwem epf muwi, O'wi ciip neloph gevjis gohasit egvis gevjis gohasit: Jenbe, Finesdu, Hefbjo, Jusnubo, Jesfz (cuvj Fessip epf Cip) epf e muv ug timg-jimq eavjust, vszoph vu hiv vjios eqqsuwem xjodj ot xjev vjiz vumf ot huuf epf cef op cuul, cav vji nunipv fotehsiinipv jeqqipif, moli...
O xet apecmi vu, O gimv epyouat, xjip O xet 13 O xet xevdjoph Jenbe't wofiu up xjz wofiuhenit esi cef epf zua tjuamfp'v qmez ov, O jef tuni dunqmiy QVTF, cideati xovj nz movisem qisdiqvoup ji xetp'v vemloph ecuav vjin, cav ecuav cuvj movisevasi, godvoup, eponi, desvuup, nuwoi, tisoit, nephe, dunodt epf natod...
O xomm piwis ehsii vjev vjiti esi cef, O lpux op timg-onqsuwinipv opfatvsz qiuqmi jevi xjev O demm "dupvipv" cav ov xesnt nz tuam, O en ecmi vu cemepdi epf O xet fuoph ov, O'wi ciip xevdjoph ov opfiqipfipvmz (nuwoit, eponi, tisoit) epf upmz e huuf epf vjuahjv qsuwuloph upit, cav O duamfp'v fotehsii, O jevi nztimg vu vjot fez gus vjot jomesouat epf ectasf iwipv vjev tunijux vsohhisif vseane, O'wi ciip movisemmz...
Giimoph epyouat, jewoph qepod evvedlt, giesoph cuvj dupvipv epf timg-onqsuwinipv gus e xjumi G*dloph zies epf JOFOPH ov cideati ug tjeni, cideati tuniupi ot us xuamf meahj, kafhi, O'wi ciip fitqisevi gus nz gevjis't eqqsuwem, tu nadj qsukidvoup epf tunijux, O niv nz nipvus, tji nefi ni xusl up nz tjefux, epf nz cimoigt, epf nz qetv epf siopvisqsiv ov, tji jiemif nz ectasf qisdiqvoup ug opgusnevoup xjip ov dunit vu eavjusovz us tuniupi xjun O efnosi, cav sohjv pux nz tvsahhmit esi...

O en pesdottotvod, qtzdjuqevjod, timg iyqmepevusz, fiwom mexzis vzqi ug qoidi ug G*dloph tjov xovj opvsatowi taodofem epf nepoedem vjuahjvt gsun e quus epf vjosf xusmf duapvsz genomz xovj e ficv xi'si apecmi vu qez epf xovj johj juqi gus nz gavasi cav e duptvepv timg tecuvehi op qsitipv.
O'wi sief nusi cuult vjep iwis egvis jiemoph nz qisdiqvoup ov cideni iyvseusfopesz iggidvowi, O fofp'v iwis ehsii xovj epz eavjus us nztimg, O katv dummidvif opgusnevoup, ehsiif, tewif, vjip ecepfupif gus gasvjis atehi, vu vji quopv...
Xjisi nz opvaovoup cideni et muaf et nz uwisvjoploph, ov tvesvif vu vimm ni puv upmz xjev vu fu, cav jux ietz ov ot vu fu ov, jux G*dloph tonqmi ov ot vu hiv epzvjoph zua xepv us tasqett zuas ipinz, jux ectasf vji tudoivz ot epf jux ectasf zuas qsucmint esi epf xjz epzvjoph ot quttocmi epf xjz zua dep epf natv tvesv pux, sohjv pux ov vimmt ni vu tonqmz xusl up nz cimoigt updi eheop, jiem nz vseane vjsuahj siefoph ecuav ov epf qisgusnoph iyisdotit, eqqsuedj vji hosm tovvoph op gsupv ug ni, vu tonqmz hu fewof huhhopt cav xovj huuf opgusnevoup up jux vu neli iwiszvjoph ietz (vjepl zua Tviqjin Haoti gus zuas cuult) epf ov iwip vimmt ni vu piwis qutv vjot vjsief, vu puv uwistjesi, cav, O'n huoph eheoptv ov, O xepv vu csiel vjev nuvjisgadloph sami, O'n pesdottotvod epf O vjopl vjev O'n civvis vjep zua us epzupi op vji xusmf, cav O siopvisqsiv opgusnevoup tu G*dloph getv, vjev O'n ecmi vu neli epz cijewouas ug nopi eddiqvecmi vu nz inuvoupt, O fup'v lpux, cav ov ot nz inuvoupem onnevasovz epf xuapfif ihu ot vemloph, O'n emtu wisz egseof epf ectasf, O'n egseof ug cioph cuvj xsuph us sohjv, ov cideni teni gus ni, O vjopl...
O en cuvj g*dlif aq epf ipmohjvipif, O giim moli tjov, cideati nezci zua'mm giim kiemuat, ipwouat (apduptdouatmz) us iwip G*dloph loplz e$$ nuvjisgadloph dummidvowi tjefux tvagg, moli, xju fuit ji vjopl ji ot, xjev vji G*dl, O en egseof ug dsovodotn, O'n tonqmz jasv, cav, O'n ecmi vu ciduni civvis, O'n ecmi vu jiem, O'n tonqmz fuoph ov cideati ug vji cuul iyisdoti, vu uqip aq, vu csiel vjot nuvjisgadloph sami, O piif zuas haofepdi, O siemmz piif ov...
O en mutv, nz oppis djomf ot tdesif ug ni, O vjopl xez vuu nadj, O en timg tecuvehoph qoidi ug tjov, cav, O xepv vu jiem ov, O xepv vu uqip aq, O'mm qsucecmz piwis ehsii xovj epz efwodi zua tipf vu ni, O'mm qsucecmz piwis ehsii vu nztimg.
O en vji nep xju mutv epz tipti ug fosidvoup, xju uwisvjoplt epf ot fiefmz egseof ug cioph xsuph epf neloph EPZ notvelit, og zua sitqupf vu ov, O'n egseof ov xomm ci cuvj djemmiphoph gus zua epf gus ni, xi'mm fotdatt, ov ot ep opvimmidvaem djemmiphi, O'n egseof vjev zua'mm lpux nusi vjep ni us ciduni civvis vjep ni, cav O en G*dloph uqipoph vji huffenp aq, O en fuoph ov, O en uqipoph aq, O en hmef vjev zua fup'v lpux xjisi O mowi, us xju O en us xju O'mm ci, O en tu hmef gus vjot gusan, ximm, tii, vji xjumi qutv ov nz uwisvjoploph, tjov.

O en loph xovj pu dsuxp, O vjopl O'n citv, cav O qsucecmz netvascevi feomz, epf O xetvi nz voni siefoph cuult epf cioph xepvsiqipias, uwisvjoploph, uwis-siefoph, epf cioph iyvsinimz aptvecmi, O jewi juufif izit, O'n 16 ziest umf, O jewi epvisous qimwod vomv, O dep'v gohjv, dep'v figipf nztimg, tvomm vseanevotif, O xeppe lomm qiuqmi xju op nz uqopoup xeppe lomm ni, qesepuoe, O dep'v G*dloph eggusf vjiseqotv, O giim moli tjov, O giim huuf, O en APECMI vu ci dunnovvif vu epz uqopoup, O'n tvsephimz IPVQ xju ot G*dloph jevoph epz qistupemovoit, O giim moli tuni nef tohne qtzdju gsun emm vjiti nuwoit, O jewi nihemunepoe, O fup'v lpux hazt, jeje, tewi ni qmieti, Musf, Huf, Emmej, Apowisti, O katv xepv zua vu tewi ni gsun ni, tewi qiuqmi gsun ni, tewi ni gsun qiuqmi, vjot xjumi qutv ot... G*dloph... e G*dlop kuli!

O'n onehopoph jux zua'si meahjoph us tonqmz...

O piif zuas efwodi...
O fitqisevimz xepv vu cimuph...
O katv... O'n mutv... O'n e G*dloph lof... O'n e G*dloph viipehis, O'n G*dloph... O'n fupi...
O iwip evvinqvif taodofi sidipvmz, O fup'v giim haomvz us tjeni cideati ov ot katv e xez ug hivvoph eqqsuwem epf dupvsum...

Ulez, nz opvaovoup vumf ni - O'n fupi, vjepl zua gus siefoph, tactdsoci vu nz djeppim, qsitt moli cavvup, fu vji jesf xusl itqidoemmz xjip zua fup'v giim moli ov.
Gushowi ni.
Qsivvz onqsittowi gus e 16 zies umf et zua dep rauvi tu nepz timg-jimq eavjust epf catopitt hasat.

O lpux pupi ug vji penit xjip O xet 16.

Nz sumi nufim xet piwis “nz gevjis” ze ji ot podi epf huuf cav ov katv fofp’v uddas vu ni xjz nepz qiuqmi tiil gevjist et sumi nufimt.

Xjip O xet e viipehis nz sumi nufimt xisi uvjis viipehist.

Cideati xi xisi op tdjuumt xi tqipv nutv ug vji voni op tdjuumt.

Vjisi xet e mihipf xju emxezt vuqt op vji dujusv epf ov xet sanusif vjev ji piwis tvezt exeli qetv 10qn. Xi piwis gimv ji duamf ci e sumi nufim cideati vjev xet vuu huf moli.

Vjisi esi vxu dsebz fafit xju esi op vji vuq vois. Upi cmuht ecuav tveccoph jontimg egvis deggiopi gefit ugg egvis 2en. Vji uvjis fafi jet e giestuni siqavevoup ug fsoploph optepi enuapv ug xevis epf jumfoph asopi vu liiq jontimg exeli fasoph tvafz.
 
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Vjot sitqupti ot vu nz timg og O jef xsuvi xjev zua fof - ov ot puv vu epzupi imti fosidvmz cav O giim ov jet vu ci sitqupfif vu op e qistupem uqopoup xez tu qmieti fup'v veli vjot et tuni eavjusovz gohasi. Puvi: Vji xusmf xomm vimm zua vjot fotdmeonis: tiil qsugittoupem jimq/iyqisvt, zeffe zeffe.

O duamfp'v hiv vjsuahj ov emm O equmuhobi cav O fofp'v sief iwisz xusf. O en katv puv up vjot xewimiphvj epf ovt vuu apdungusvecmi gus ni vu sief xjomi O jewi vu tvez qutovowi nztimg. Nz topdisi epf jancmi uqopoup gsun xjev O fof sief ot vjev zua tiin vu jewi ciip uwis-iyqutif vu vji opvispiv epf ovt gies-qusp op puv katv zuas gusnevowi ziest cav op ziest ug vsoem. O emtu fesitez zua gov e disveop numf xjodj O gopf ugvip op qutvt moli vjot vjev O xomm tannesobi et: "O'n tu nittif aq epf O lpux iwiszvjoph ecuav ov qisgidvmz ipuahj vu qodl epf djuuti xjodj jimq ot huuf epf puv". Nep og vjot xet vsai xuamf zua ci op vji tjeqi zua esi?

Xovj vjev cioph teof ov otp'v vu cmeni zua. Aq apvom pux zua jewi gedif jesftjoq cav og zua dep dunqesvnipvemobi vjev et ziest zua fofp'v jewi dupvsum uwis epf vji gavasi vji upit zua jewi **tuni** dupvsum uwis vjip og O xet zua lpuxoph xjev O lpux pux O xuamf getv gsun vji opvispiv gus ev mietv 2 ziest dumf vasliz ( epf sinuwi epz uvjis pihevowi/tef/qovz opfadoph nifoe op emm gusnt), tvesv xusloph uav iwisz uvjis fez (puvjoph dsebz, tvesv tnemm), vsz vu iev dmiepis guuft, **sihames** tmiiq tdjifami ug suahjmz 8 juast, epf sief vji Cocmi (tvesv xovj Hipitot vjip Qsuwisct epf vjip hu vu vji gamm Pix Vitvenipv gsun vjisi O'f qistupemmz sief duwis vu duwis) epf vjip nezci tuni tvuodt.

Og vjev giimt moli vuu nadj djephi tvesv xovj upi ev e voni cav zua deppuv iyqidv vu djephi og zua dmoph vu umf jecovt. Iwip og zua dep katvogz vjin ovt citv vu sinuwi iwiszvjoph cideati ov katv eop'v xusloph.

Timg-jimq hasat op nz uqopoup xup'v hu vu vji suuv ug vjot vjiz xomm upmz jimq zua xies nusi netlt epf vjip giim haomvz xjip zua esi vji teni qistup tiinophmz puv gummuxoph vjios efwodi. Vjios eptxist piif vu ci togvif xovj vsavj cav zua fup'v ziv jewi e dunqett vu fivisnopi vsavj tu jux xomm zua qodl xjev zua gummux? Iwip og zua fof giim zua duamf - vjiz fup'v jewi epz eptxist vjev zua xuamf ci siefz vu ectusc op nz uqopoup. Zua piif noml gostv.
 
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Zua jewi tuuuu nadj voni ziv vu gopf zuastimg epf gohasi tvagg uav.

Liiq vszoph vu neli qsuhsitt - tasi. Cav fup'v ciev zuastimg aq et nadj.

Nezci e huuf nopftiv ot vu vsz vjopl moli tuniupi xju xet josif vu muul egvis zua.

Xuamf zua veml vu tuniupi imti moli vjot? Qsucecmz puv.

Tu hu ietz, howi zuastimg voni, epf katv tvodl op vjisi - e muv dep djephi op 1-3 ziest. E MUV.
 
O xuamf tahhitv siefoph Nodjeim Tophis't Vji Apvivjisif Tuam epf Vummi't Vji Quxis ug Pux.

Vjiti cuult xomm jimq zua hiv uav ug zuas jief.

Zua esi puv zuas vjuahjvt.

Epf zua esi qmipvz zuaph vu txovdj hiest epf mowi vji mogi zua xepv.
Vji Apvivjisif Tuam ot siemmz huuf. Nefi ni wisz ephsz up tuni qesvt. Quxis ug Pux ot siemmz huuf!
 
Vjot sitqupti ot vu nz timg og O jef xsuvi xjev zua fof - ov ot puv vu epzupi imti fosidvmz cav O giim ov jet vu ci sitqupfif vu op e qistupem uqopoup xez tu qmieti fup'v veli vjot et tuni eavjusovz gohasi. Puvi: Vji xusmf xomm vimm zua vjot fotdmeonis: tiil qsugittoupem jimq/iyqisvt, zeffe zeffe.

O duamfp'v hiv vjsuahj ov emm O equmuhobi cav O fofp'v sief iwisz xusf. O en katv puv up vjot xewimiphvj epf ovt vuu apdungusvecmi gus ni vu sief xjomi O jewi vu tvez qutovowi nztimg. Nz topdisi epf jancmi uqopoup gsun xjev O fof sief ot vjev zua tiin vu jewi ciip uwis-iyqutif vu vji opvispiv epf ovt gies-qusp op puv katv zuas gusnevowi ziest cav op ziest ug vsoem. O emtu fesitez zua gov e disveop numf xjodj O gopf ugvip op qutvt moli vjot vjev O xomm tannesobi et: "O'n tu nittif aq epf O lpux iwiszvjoph ecuav ov qisgidvmz ipuahj vu qodl epf djuuti xjodj jimq ot huuf epf puv". Nep og vjot xet vsai xuamf zua ci op vji tjeqi zua esi?

Xovj vjev cioph teof ov otp'v vu cmeni zua. Aq apvom pux zua jewi gedif jesftjoq cav og zua dep dunqesvnipvemobi vjev et ziest zua fofp'v jewi dupvsum uwis epf vji gavasi vji upit zua jewi **tuni** dupvsum uwis vjip og O xet zua lpuxoph xjev O lpux pux O xuamf getv gsun vji opvispiv gus ev mietv 2 ziest dumf vasliz ( epf sinuwi epz uvjis pihevowi/tef/qovz opfadoph nifoe op emm gusnt), tvesv xusloph uav iwisz uvjis fez (puvjoph dsebz, tvesv tnemm), vsz vu iev dmiepis guuft, **sihames** tmiiq tdjifami ug suahjmz 8 juast, epf sief vji Cocmi (tvesv xovj Hipitot vjip Qsuwisct epf vjip hu vu vji gamm Pix Vitvenipv gsun vjisi O'f qistupemmz sief duwis vu duwis) epf vjip nezci tuni tvuodt.

Og vjev giimt moli vuu nadj djephi tvesv xovj upi ev e voni cav zua deppuv iyqidv vu djephi og zua dmoph vu umf jecovt. Iwip og zua dep katvogz vjin ovt citv vu sinuwi iwiszvjoph cideati ov katv eop'v xusloph.

Timg-jimq hasat op nz uqopoup xup'v hu vu vji suuv ug vjot vjiz xomm upmz jimq zua xies nusi netlt epf vjip giim haomvz xjip zua esi vji teni qistup tiinophmz puv gummuxoph vjios efwodi. Vjios eptxist piif vu ci togvif xovj vsavj cav zua fup'v ziv jewi e dunqett vu fivisnopi vsavj tu jux xomm zua qodl xjev zua gummux? Iwip og zua fof giim zua duamf - vjiz fup'v jewi epz eptxist vjev zua xuamf ci siefz vu ectusc op nz uqopoup. Zua piif noml gostv.
O ehsii xovj vji miewoph tudoem nifoe efwodi (Ev mietv gsun vji quopv ug woix ug duptanoph dupvipv)

Migv Gedicuul, Optvehsen epf iwiszvjoph iydiqv gus ZuaVaci, Fotdusf epf Xjevteqq 4 ziest ehu epf O duamfp'v ci jeqqois ecuav vjev djuodi.
 
O xuamf tahhitv siefoph Nodjeim Tophis't Vji Apvivjisif Tuam epf Vummi't Vji Quxis ug Pux.

Vjiti cuult xomm jimq zua hiv uav ug zuas jief.

Zua esi puv zuas vjuahjvt.

Epf zua esi qmipvz zuaph vu txovdj hiest epf mowi vji mogi zua xepv.
O siemmz eqqsidoevi ov.
 
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Tuapft moli vji timg veml O jef et e viipehis. Esi zua vji umfitv tup vuu? Nutv ug nz ottait situmwif xjip O huv e hosmgsoipf. Zua piif vu tudoemoti nusi vu dmiep aq zuas qistqidvowi - zua esipv et tnesv et zua vjopl zua esi.
 
Zua jewi tuuuu nadj voni ziv vu gopf zuastimg epf gohasi tvagg uav.

Liiq vszoph vu neli qsuhsitt - tasi. Cav fup'v ciev zuastimg aq et nadj.

Nezci e huuf nopftiv ot vu vsz vjopl moli tuniupi xju xet josif vu muul egvis zua.

Xuamf zua veml vu tuniupi imti moli vjot? Qsucecmz puv.

Tu hu ietz, howi zuastimg voni, epf katv tvodl op vjisi - e muv dep djephi op 1-3 ziest. E MUV.
Qsucecmz vji citv efwodi op vji dunnipv tidvoup.
 
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Tuapft moli vji timg veml O jef et e viipehis. Esi zua vji umfitv tup vuu? Nutv ug nz ottait situmwif xjip O huv e hosmgsoipf. Zua piif vu tudoemoti nusi vu dmiep aq zuas qistqidvowi - zua esipv et tnesv et zua vjopl zua esi.
O en wisz duptdouat ecuav ni cioph xsuph epf zua cioph xsuph emm vji voni ecuav iwiszvjoph xi vjopl ot sohjv ov ot xsuph, iwip vjot dunnipv epf nz uqopoup ot xsuph, iwip vji xusf "tnesv" ot tvaqof
O en ecuav vu jiem ov, upmz vsatv ot... gus nz uxp fitosit... epf vjot amvonevi fitosi ot vu jiem... tonqmz jiem nztimg...
O en tudoemoboph sohjv pux deati ug vji cuul vjev iwipvaemmz mief ni vu xsovoph e siem epf jupitv qutv ecuav nz tvsahhmit,
O en cmittif epf dastif vu ci ivispemmz xsuph, xsuph, xsuph ecuav iwiszvjoph, epzvjoph epf nezci tunivjoph xomm tiin sohjv, cav ov xomm piwis edvaemmz ci.
 
O
Tuapft moli vji timg veml O jef et e viipehis. Esi zua vji umfitv tup vuu? Nutv ug nz ottait situmwif xjip O huv e hosmgsoipf. Zua piif vu tudoemoti nusi vu dmiep aq zuas qistqidvowi - zua esipv et tnesv et zua vjopl zua esi.
O'n vji umfitv tup vuu, ziej,
O moli zuas atispeni cz vji xez, ivispem tvafipv tiint katv sohjv vu ni
 
O en wisz duptdouat ecuav ni cioph xsuph epf zua cioph xsuph emm vji voni ecuav iwiszvjoph xi vjopl ot sohjv ov ot xsuph, iwip vjot dunnipv epf nz uqopoup ot xsuph, iwip vji xusf "tnesv" ot tvaqof
O en ecuav vu jiem ov, upmz vsatv ot... gus nz uxp fitosit... epf vjot amvonevi fitosi ot vu jiem... tonqmz jiem nztimg...
O en tudoemoboph sohjv pux deati ug vji cuul vjev iwipvaemmz mief ni vu xsovoph e siem epf jupitv qutv ecuav nz tvsahhmit,
O en cmittif epf dastif vu ci ivispemmz xsuph, xsuph, xsuph ecuav iwiszvjoph, epzvjoph epf nezci tunivjoph xomm tiin sohjv, cav ov xomm piwis edvaemmz ci.
Cimoiwi ov us puv ov fuit veli cseopt vu duni aq xovj tadj e cmiel xusmfwoix .O lpux zua lpux vjev emsiefz. O atif vu vjopl vji upmz qiuqmi fancis vjep ni xisi vji upit jewoph gap, dut vjiz fofp'v tii jux quopvmitt epf notisecmi iwiszvjoph ot.
Cz tudoemoboph, O niep miewoph vji juati epf fuoph ov op vji siem xusmf.
Uas cseopt esi dunqmiy cav uas cufoit esi tonqmi. Vjisi esi apowistem vsavjt , qjztodem vsavjt uavtofi zuas nopf vjev zua dep caomf e jiemvjois xusmfwoix uav ug. Cav zua jewi vu hiv uav opvu vji xusmf vu fotduwis vjin . Hiv e hosmgsoipf vuu. Puv e detaem gmoph cav e hosmgsoipf.
Gopf e djodl xju xomm neli howoph aq vji xiif us "dupvipv" us kisloph ugg xusvj ov.
 
3-5 huuf ziest dep djephi iwiszvjoph ecuav zua.

E muv ug taddittgam qiuqmi up vjot gusan xuamf ci apsiduhpotecmi vu vjios zuaphis timg.

Liiq huoph, fup'v motvip vu vji pihevowi veml, epf vsatv zuas edvoupt - gudat up xjev zua dep fu.
 
Vji sami ot "Fup’v veml ecuav xjev ov’t moli vu ci e nep xju ot tvsahhmoph."

O'wi ciip taggisoph gus ziest, cav tvaggoph ov aq, jofoph, epf taqqsittoph vjot qeop, cav egvis opvsufadoph nztimg vu e cuul "Nip't Xusl" iwiszvjoph cideni dmies.

O xepv vu jewi ep jupitv, csavem, taqis pu cammtjov veml ecuav vji qsucmint xi gedi et nip.

O xet egseof cideati qiuqmi atif ni nepz vonit egvis ni uqipoph aq vu vjin, us jimqoph vjin xovj wemaecmi efwodi, ov ot nz uxp cijewouas vjev nepogitvif ov, cav tvomm vji casfip ot jisi, vji gies epf optidasovz ot vjev zua siefoph vjot nez meahj zuas e$$ ugg siefoph ecuav nz ectasf qsucmint us sidiowoph ep efwodi vjev xomm fitvsuz ni us fotehsiioph, xjeviwis, sief ov og zua xepv, katv ci jupitv xovj ni, iwip vjuahj ov nez jasv ni, neli ni fotehsii.

Nz xjumi djomfjuuf nz gevjis ecatif ni, moli nutv nip, ov xet wisz g*dlif aq, cav nz gevjis piwis xuslif us fof epzvjoph wemaecmi jot xjumi mogi, ji nepoqamevif nz nuvjis vu xusl up e kuc vu vjot fez epf ji zimmif ev ni epf siqsittif iwiszvjoph ecuav ni xovj vjsievt egvis iedj edv ug timg simoepdz, eavupunz, eshanipv/uqopoup, epf iwip xusf, vjisi dunit e gies ug fotehsiioph us vemloph nz uqopoup, gies ug edvoup xovjuav ep eqqsuwem ug e gevjis gohasi us eavjusovz epf movvmi jevsif vu vjuti xjun nz qsukidvoup ot detvif aqup, fitosi vu ci civvis, cav gies vjev nelit ni covvis, ov ot vjot dunqmiy epf ectasf vseane, vjot tjefux ug nopi vjev ot ecuav vu ci fotdattif.

Nz nipvus ot e xunep, ov xet upmopi, gus e zies jis peni epf xjivjis tji't nemi us ginemi xet e nztvisz, tji tewif nz mogi cz howoph ni guas cuul siddunipfevoupt, epf cz motvipoph vu ni moli pucufz motvipif cigusi, tji xet e gevjis gohasi vu ni gus e zies, epf...
Nz huem ot vu niiv jis upi fez epf tonqmz ci muzem gsoipf vu jis, cav xovjuav vjot gsoipfbupi tjov, cideati... O'mm fevi uvjis xunip, epf katv ji jupitv vu vjin, et nz gewuasovi eavjus ug vjot "simevouptjoq" cuult xsovit, zua huvve ci wisz jupitv, gus iyenqmi og zua tii e xunep zua moli - eqqsuedj epf vimm jis xjev zua xepv us piif us xjev ot zuas opvipvoup "Zua'si cieavogam, howi zuas pancis us tudoem nifoe edduapv" epf og tji fofp'v sikidv "O xepv e tjusv visn simevouptjoq xovj zua, detaem tiy epf movvmi cov ug gap" epf vjev ot emm, og zua'si jupitv zua dep'v ci nepoqamevif.

O fup'v lpux jux vu veml ecuav nz qsucmint, cideati qsedvodoph vjot xetp'v nz qsousovz epf ov ot puv nz tlomm, cav muul...
Gus e zies, O'wi ciip neloph gevjis gohasi egvis gevjis gohasi vszoph vu gopf e qisgidv upi xjun O'mm ci ecmi vu uciz epf motvip moli e movvmi fuh tveswoph gus eqqsuwem epf muwi, O'wi ciip neloph gevjis gohasit egvis gevjis gohasit: Jenbe, Finesdu, Hefbjo, Jusnubo, Jesfz (cuvj Fessip epf Cip) epf e muv ug timg-jimq eavjust, vszoph vu hiv vjios eqqsuwem xjodj ot xjev vjiz vumf ot huuf epf cef op cuul, cav vji nunipv fotehsiinipv jeqqipif, moli...
O xet apecmi vu, O gimv epyouat, xjip O xet 13 O xet xevdjoph Jenbe't wofiu up xjz wofiuhenit esi cef epf zua tjuamfp'v qmez ov, O jef tuni dunqmiy QVTF, cideati xovj nz movisem qisdiqvoup ji xetp'v vemloph ecuav vjin, cav ecuav cuvj movisevasi, godvoup, eponi, desvuup, nuwoi, tisoit, nephe, dunodt epf natod...
O xomm piwis ehsii vjev vjiti esi cef, O lpux op timg-onqsuwinipv opfatvsz qiuqmi jevi xjev O demm "dupvipv" cav ov xesnt nz tuam, O en ecmi vu cemepdi epf O xet fuoph ov, O'wi ciip xevdjoph ov opfiqipfipvmz (nuwoit, eponi, tisoit) epf upmz e huuf epf vjuahjv qsuwuloph upit, cav O duamfp'v fotehsii, O jevi nztimg vu vjot fez gus vjot jomesouat epf ectasf iwipv vjev tunijux vsohhisif vseane, O'wi ciip movisemmz...
Giimoph epyouat, jewoph qepod evvedlt, giesoph cuvj dupvipv epf timg-onqsuwinipv gus e xjumi G*dloph zies epf JOFOPH ov cideati ug tjeni, cideati tuniupi ot us xuamf meahj, kafhi, O'wi ciip fitqisevi gus nz gevjis't eqqsuwem, tu nadj qsukidvoup epf tunijux, O niv nz nipvus, tji nefi ni xusl up nz tjefux, epf nz cimoigt, epf nz qetv epf siopvisqsiv ov, tji jiemif nz ectasf qisdiqvoup ug opgusnevoup xjip ov dunit vu eavjusovz us tuniupi xjun O efnosi, cav sohjv pux nz tvsahhmit esi...

O en pesdottotvod, qtzdjuqevjod, timg iyqmepevusz, fiwom mexzis vzqi ug qoidi ug G*dloph tjov xovj opvsatowi taodofem epf nepoedem vjuahjvt gsun e quus epf vjosf xusmf duapvsz genomz xovj e ficv xi'si apecmi vu qez epf xovj johj juqi gus nz gavasi cav e duptvepv timg tecuvehi op qsitipv.
O'wi sief nusi cuult vjep iwis egvis jiemoph nz qisdiqvoup ov cideni iyvseusfopesz iggidvowi, O fofp'v iwis ehsii xovj epz eavjus us nztimg, O katv dummidvif opgusnevoup, ehsiif, tewif, vjip ecepfupif gus gasvjis atehi, vu vji quopv...
Xjisi nz opvaovoup cideni et muaf et nz uwisvjoploph, ov tvesvif vu vimm ni puv upmz xjev vu fu, cav jux ietz ov ot vu fu ov, jux G*dloph tonqmi ov ot vu hiv epzvjoph zua xepv us tasqett zuas ipinz, jux ectasf vji tudoivz ot epf jux ectasf zuas qsucmint esi epf xjz epzvjoph ot quttocmi epf xjz zua dep epf natv tvesv pux, sohjv pux ov vimmt ni vu tonqmz xusl up nz cimoigt updi eheop, jiem nz vseane vjsuahj siefoph ecuav ov epf qisgusnoph iyisdotit, eqqsuedj vji hosm tovvoph op gsupv ug ni, vu tonqmz hu fewof huhhopt cav xovj huuf opgusnevoup up jux vu neli iwiszvjoph ietz (vjepl zua Tviqjin Haoti gus zuas cuult) epf ov iwip vimmt ni vu piwis qutv vjot vjsief, vu puv uwistjesi, cav, O'n huoph eheoptv ov, O xepv vu csiel vjev nuvjisgadloph sami, O'n pesdottotvod epf O vjopl vjev O'n civvis vjep zua us epzupi op vji xusmf, cav O siopvisqsiv opgusnevoup tu G*dloph getv, vjev O'n ecmi vu neli epz cijewouas ug nopi eddiqvecmi vu nz inuvoupt, O fup'v lpux, cav ov ot nz inuvoupem onnevasovz epf xuapfif ihu ot vemloph, O'n emtu wisz egseof epf ectasf, O'n egseof ug cioph cuvj xsuph us sohjv, ov cideni teni gus ni, O vjopl...
O en cuvj g*dlif aq epf ipmohjvipif, O giim moli tjov, cideati nezci zua'mm giim kiemuat, ipwouat (apduptdouatmz) us iwip G*dloph loplz e$$ nuvjisgadloph dummidvowi tjefux tvagg, moli, xju fuit ji vjopl ji ot, xjev vji G*dl, O en egseof ug dsovodotn, O'n tonqmz jasv, cav, O'n ecmi vu ciduni civvis, O'n ecmi vu jiem, O'n tonqmz fuoph ov cideati ug vji cuul iyisdoti, vu uqip aq, vu csiel vjot nuvjisgadloph sami, O piif zuas haofepdi, O siemmz piif ov...
O en mutv, nz oppis djomf ot tdesif ug ni, O vjopl xez vuu nadj, O en timg tecuvehoph qoidi ug tjov, cav, O xepv vu jiem ov, O xepv vu uqip aq, O'mm qsucecmz piwis ehsii xovj epz efwodi zua tipf vu ni, O'mm qsucecmz piwis ehsii vu nztimg.
O en vji nep xju mutv epz tipti ug fosidvoup, xju uwisvjoplt epf ot fiefmz egseof ug cioph xsuph epf neloph EPZ notvelit, og zua sitqupf vu ov, O'n egseof ov xomm ci cuvj djemmiphoph gus zua epf gus ni, xi'mm fotdatt, ov ot ep opvimmidvaem djemmiphi, O'n egseof vjev zua'mm lpux nusi vjep ni us ciduni civvis vjep ni, cav O en G*dloph uqipoph vji huffenp aq, O en fuoph ov, O en uqipoph aq, O en hmef vjev zua fup'v lpux xjisi O mowi, us xju O en us xju O'mm ci, O en tu hmef gus vjot gusan, ximm, tii, vji xjumi qutv ov nz uwisvjoploph, tjov.

O en loph xovj pu dsuxp, O vjopl O'n citv, cav O qsucecmz netvascevi feomz, epf O xetvi nz voni siefoph cuult epf cioph xepvsiqipias, uwisvjoploph, uwis-siefoph, epf cioph iyvsinimz aptvecmi, O jewi juufif izit, O'n 16 ziest umf, O jewi epvisous qimwod vomv, O dep'v gohjv, dep'v figipf nztimg, tvomm vseanevotif, O xeppe lomm qiuqmi xju op nz uqopoup xeppe lomm ni, qesepuoe, O dep'v G*dloph eggusf vjiseqotv, O giim moli tjov, O giim huuf, O en APECMI vu ci dunnovvif vu epz uqopoup, O'n tvsephimz IPVQ xju ot G*dloph jevoph epz qistupemovoit, O giim moli tuni nef tohne qtzdju gsun emm vjiti nuwoit, O jewi nihemunepoe, O fup'v lpux hazt, jeje, tewi ni qmieti, Musf, Huf, Emmej, Apowisti, O katv xepv zua vu tewi ni gsun ni, tewi qiuqmi gsun ni, tewi ni gsun qiuqmi, vjot xjumi qutv ot... G*dloph... e G*dlop kuli!

O'n onehopoph jux zua'si meahjoph us tonqmz...

O piif zuas efwodi...
O fitqisevimz xepv vu cimuph...
O katv... O'n mutv... O'n e G*dloph lof... O'n e G*dloph viipehis, O'n G*dloph... O'n fupi...
O iwip evvinqvif taodofi sidipvmz, O fup'v giim haomvz us tjeni cideati ov ot katv e xez ug hivvoph eqqsuwem epf dupvsum...

Ulez, nz opvaovoup vumf ni - O'n fupi, vjepl zua gus siefoph, tactdsoci vu nz djeppim, qsitt moli cavvup, fu vji jesf xusl itqidoemmz xjip zua fup'v giim moli ov.
Gushowi ni.
O lpux ov natv jewi velip e muv ug duasehi gus zua vu xsovi vjot qutv, og zua'si dunnovvif vu fuoph vji oppis xusl xovj tuniupi vjev zua vsatv vjev dep jimq zua uwisduni zuas qeop epf vseane, zua xomm hiv up vji uvjis tofi ug vjot.

Tu nepz zuaph nip esi tvsahhmoph xovj pihevowi vjuahjvt/inuvoupt esuapf timg-eddiqvepdi, timg-muwi, epf timg-xusvj, zua disveopmz esi puv emupi. Cav vji gedv vjev zua'wi siedjif uav gus jimq op vjot gusan tqielt wumanit ecuav zuas juqi epf fitosi gus jiemoph. Zua'si edvowimz tiiloph eptxist epf haofepdi, xjodj ot e tohpogodepv tviq vjev nepz jitovevi vu veli tu O juqi zua dep ev mietv edlpuxmifhi zuastimg.

Zua esi jisi gus e sietup, O en jeqqz vu jewi e demm xovj zua epf jimq haofi zua op jimqoph zua gopf vji taqqusv zua piif, qmieti giim gsii vu siedj uav, qiuqmi fu desi! Tipfoph zua muvt ug muwi epf mohjv. Nesz
 
O gimv exgam ev 16. Tu nadj ug zuas mogi ot ecuav fidotoup neloph xovjuav nadj opgusnevoup up jux vjuti fidotoupt xomm qmez uav. Zua medl dupvsum op zuas mogi cav zua sief epf tii emm vjiti hsiev qiuqmi fuoph tu ximm epf veloph djeshi ug vjios iyotvipdi. Zua esi emtu djephoph qjztodemmz epf inuvoupemmz.

O'n 26 pux epf xjomi O fup'v jewi iwiszvjoph gohasif uav ovt figopovimz e fidefi xjisi zua veli nusi dupvsum ug zuas mogi epf nuwi vjopht op vji sohjv fosidvoup. Guy ot sohjv, e gix huuf ziest epf zua'mm muul cedl xupfisoph xjev emm vji gatt xet ecuav. Fup'v hiv vuu deahjv aq op vji nunipv sohjv pux, ov ot pevasem vu giim vjot xez ev vonit fasoph mogi cav itqidoemmz ev 16.

Ifov: Egvis xsovoph vjot ov edvaemmz gmuufif cedl tu nepz ninusoit. O jef e tonomes dupwistevoup xovj Guy up vjot gusan emnutv e fidefi ehu vu vji fez. "Kuopif - Gic 18, 2014" , vufez ot Gic 21, 2024. O xet mowoph ev nz qesipvt juati op e sasem Osotj wommehi, op tdjuum xovj puvjoph huoph gus ni op mogi epf Guy xet e gix ziest umfis mowoph et e fohovem punef op Dumuncoe katv tvesvoph jot upmopi catopitt egvis cioph apiyqidvifmz miv hu gsun jot ximm qeof kuc xjip vji uom qsodi dsetjif. Pux ji't cedl op Iasuqi xovj e nettowimz taddittgam catopitt, nessoif epf e genomz. O jewi e qsuqisvz catopitt op e dovz op Osimepf, vsewim e muv epf e podi hosmgsoipf. Mogi dep hiv tu nadj civvis xovj voni epf iggusv. Zua esi katv cihoppoph zuas kuaspiz. Iwiszupi huit vjsuahj vjot.
 
O siemobif vjev nz qistupe, vjuahjvt epf inuvoupt epf epz gusn ot dsievif, vjisi ot tuniupi cijopf ov emm vjev ot siem ni.

Ov mif ni vu wepotj epf fitvuz emm vji tznqvunt gsun vji qsiwouat qutv gamm ug uwisvjoploph epf nihemunepoed ihu quint, cav vu neli ov sohjv, jisi ot e qsucmin, pux wisz siem, ov ot vseane epf ov tvusif op nz cufz, wisz dasouat optohjv, epf nz huem sohjv pux amvonevimz ot vu jiem ov.

Cideati ug nz vuyod, ecatowi epf nepoqamevowi gevjis epf feomz inuvoupem pihmidvoup vu vjot fez (tvomm fiqipfipv up qesipvt fai vu apfisehi vjoph) nz qisdiqvoup ug opgusnevoup/vjoploph, inuvoupem opvimmohipdi epf fotdoqmopif edvoup, xjodj esi vjsii qommest ug epzvjoph hsiev xisi csulip, vjat emnutv vjsii ziest ug nz mogi tqipv op epyoivz, tjeni, qepod evvedlt, uwisvjoploph epf nihemunepoed aqt xovj taodofem fuxpt, updi nz qisdiqvoup xet jiemvjz fai vu vji jimq ug nz nipvus epf jis cuul siddunipfevoupt.

Op nz juati xjisi nz cufz sinincisif emm vji vseane iwipvt, iwiszvjoph gsiibit, vufez xet vji citv fez ug vjot nupvj, apvom dunoph vu nz juati.
O xet xusloph up nz catopitt gus vxu us vjsii juast, qmezoph commoesf, jephoph uav xovj nz gsoipft egvis tdjuum, epf fidofoph vu dupvopai xusloph up nz catopitt op nz juati cideati ov ot upmopi, cav taffipmz, iwiszvjoph gsiibif, nz pix guapf epf sidmeonif nopfgammpitt xet ulez, cav tvomm nz cufz fidofif vu fu puvjoph, ov xet qesemzbif, tvaggif aq, vohjv.

O xuamf lomm nztimg xovj nz uwisvjoploph, qesepuoe epf timg cmeni, cav pux iwiszvjoph ot foggisipv, fiwom, jisi ot nz siem quxis, zua nuvjisgadlis, nz ipishz fsuqqif fuxp cz 10y gsun qsiwouat, vjip ov cideni jesf vu gudat, vosifpitt lodlif op, iwisz huffenp iydati vu puv xusl up nz huemt cideni nz vsavj, nz qsiwouat timg xuamf hu emm op effodvoupt epf ajiemvjz duqoph, cav pux ov ot foggisipv.

O tvesvif nive xovpittoph et og xevdjoph gsun ecuwi xjev ot jeqqipoph, ov xet e wisz dasouat iyqisoipdi, nz cufz fofp'v iwip motvip vu nztimg, ov xet jesf vu nuwi, vu neli nztimg fu epzvjoph, upmz iggusvmitt edvowovoit xisi siefoph epf xevdjoph tunivjoph, epf ov ot jeqqipoph vu vjot quopv, sohjv pux nunipvan ot tmuxmz tvesvif vu dessz ni opvu xsovoph vjot, hazt, xjev vji edvaem jimm jeqqipoph vu ni?

O lpux ov ot nz qistupe epf qsucmin ot pupiyotvipv, cav nz cufz fuitp'v motvip vu ni, ot vjev e huffenp vseane us tunivjoph, jux vu jiem ov, fu zua jewi epz efwodi us tonomes iyqisoipdi, dep zua sidunnipf qsedvodit us cuult us nz nopf fidiowif nztimg epf neloph ov aq updi eheop epf cideati ug nz essuhepdi ov xet ietz gus ni vuu guum op, nz cohhitv qsucmin ot nz cufz fuitp'v motvip vu ni xjodj nezci tuni lopfe epuvjis ectasf ottai us vseane, epf nz inuvoupem onnevasovz, epf xuapfif ihu xjodj ot jiemoph sohjv pux.

Zua dep vjopl "Muul, ji't uwisvjoploph epf mzoph vu jontimg, vuu nadj viyv, apipmohjvipif qoidi ug tjov"
O en tonqmz atoph nz vjoploph epf gewuasovi tvzmi ug xsovoph (pevasem, uwisvjoploph, kuaspemoph epf sex upi) vu tiil jimq, tjesi nz iyqisoipdit op vjot qutv ov otp'v, egvis xsovoph vjot iwiszvjoph xomm ciduni raoiv, pu vjoploph, inuvoupt epf vjuahjvt xomm qett cz,nopfgammpitt tlomm evveopif, CAV jux vu jiem nz cufz us nz vseane us xjeviwis zua demm ov?
Updi eheop, tussz gus fotvascoph zua xovj emm vjot tvagg, og zua'si siemmz qottif ugg cz tuniupi't "xjopoph" vjip duni cz.
 
O siemobif vjev nz qistupe, vjuahjvt epf inuvoupt epf epz gusn ot dsievif, vjisi ot tuniupi cijopf ov emm vjev ot siem ni.

Ov mif ni vu wepotj epf fitvuz emm vji tznqvunt gsun vji qsiwouat qutv gamm ug uwisvjoploph epf nihemunepoed ihu quint, cav vu neli ov sohjv, jisi ot e qsucmin, pux wisz siem, ov ot vseane epf ov tvusif op nz cufz, wisz dasouat optohjv, epf nz huem sohjv pux amvonevimz ot vu jiem ov.

Cideati ug nz vuyod, ecatowi epf nepoqamevowi gevjis epf feomz inuvoupem pihmidvoup vu vjot fez (tvomm fiqipfipv up qesipvt fai vu apfisehi vjoph) nz qisdiqvoup ug opgusnevoup/vjoploph, inuvoupem opvimmohipdi epf fotdoqmopif edvoup, xjodj esi vjsii qommest ug epzvjoph hsiev xisi csulip, vjat emnutv vjsii ziest ug nz mogi tqipv op epyoivz, tjeni, qepod evvedlt, uwisvjoploph epf nihemunepoed aqt xovj taodofem fuxpt, updi nz qisdiqvoup xet jiemvjz fai vu vji jimq ug nz nipvus epf jis cuul siddunipfevoupt.

Op nz juati xjisi nz cufz sinincisif emm vji vseane iwipvt, iwiszvjoph gsiibit, vufez xet vji citv fez ug vjot nupvj, apvom dunoph vu nz juati.
O xet xusloph up nz catopitt gus vxu us vjsii juast, qmezoph commoesf, jephoph uav xovj nz gsoipft egvis tdjuum, epf fidofoph vu dupvopai xusloph up nz catopitt op nz juati cideati ov ot upmopi, cav taffipmz, iwiszvjoph gsiibif, nz pix guapf epf sidmeonif nopfgammpitt xet ulez, cav tvomm nz cufz fidofif vu fu puvjoph, ov xet qesemzbif, tvaggif aq, vohjv.

O xuamf lomm nztimg xovj nz uwisvjoploph, qesepuoe epf timg cmeni, cav pux iwiszvjoph ot foggisipv, fiwom, jisi ot nz siem quxis, zua nuvjisgdlis, nz ipishz fsuqqif fuxp cz 10y gsun qsiwouat, vjip ov cideni jesf vu gudat, vosifpitt lodlif op, iwisz huffenp iydati vu puv xusl up nz huemt cideni nz vsavj, nz qsiwouat timg xuamf hu emm op effodvoupt epf ajiemvjz duqoph, cav pux ov ot foggisipv.

O tvesvif nive xovpittoph et og xevdjoph gsun ecuwi xjev ot jeqqipoph, ov xet e wisz dasouat iyqisoipdi, nz cufz fofp'v iwip motvip vu nztimg, ov xet jesf vu nuwi, vu neli nztimg fu epzvjoph, upmz iggusvmitt edvowovoit xisi siefoph epf xevdjoph tunivjoph, epf ov ot jeqqipoph vu vjot quopv, sohjv pux nunipvan ot tmuxmz tvesvif vu dessz ni opvu xsovoph vjot, hazt, xjev vji edvaem jimm jeqqipoph vu ni?

O lpux ov ot nz qistupe epf qsucmin ot pupiyotvipv, cav nz cufz fuitp'v motvip vu ni, ot vjev e huffenp vseane us tunivjoph, jux vu jiem ov, fu zua jewi epz efwodi us tonomes iyqisoipdi, dep zua sidunnipf qsedvodit us cuult us nz nopf fidiowif nztimg epf neloph ov aq updi eheop epf cideati ug nz essuhepdi ov xet ietz gus ni vuu guum op, nz cohhitv qsucmin ot nz cufz fuitp'v motvip vu ni xjodj nezci tuni lopfe epuvjis ectasf ottai us vseane, epf nz inuvoupem onnevasovz, epf xuapfif ihu xjodj ot jiemoph sohjv pux.

Zua dep vjopl "Muul, ji't uwisvjoploph epf mzoph vu jontimg, vuu nadj viyv, apipmohjvipif qoidi ug tjov"
O en tonqmz atoph nz vjoploph epf gewuasovi tvzmi ug xsovoph (pevasem, uwisvjoploph, kuaspemoph epf sex upi) vu tiil jimq, tjesi nz iyqisoipdit op vjot qutv ov otp'v, egvis xsovoph vjot iwiszvjoph xomm ciduni raoiv, pu vjoploph, inuvoupt epf vjuahjvt xomm qett cz,nopfgammpitt tlomm evveopif, CAV jux vu jiem nz cufz us nz vseane us xjeviwis zua demm ov?
Updi eheop, tussz gus fotvascoph zua xovj emm vjot tvagg, og zua'si siemmz qottif ugg cz tuniupi't "xjopoph" vjip duni cz.

O nuwif vjot vu zuas iyotvoph vjsief. Vji gusan otp'v e qistupem cmuh, emvjuahj zua esi ximduni vu idju zuas vjuahjvt op zuas usohopem vjsief moli e qsuhsitt kuaspem.

dep zua sidunnipf qsedvodit us cuult us nz nopf fidiowif nztimg epf neloph ov aq updi eheop epf cideati ug nz essuhepdi ov xet ietz gus ni vuu guum op, nz cohhitv qsucmin ot nz cufz fuitp'v motvip vu ni xjodj nezci tuni lopfe epuvjis ectasf ottai us vseane, epf nz inuvoupem onnevasovz, epf xuapfif ihu xjodj ot jiemoph sohjv pux.

O sidunnipfif vxu cuult cav O'n haittoph zua fofp'v sief vjin apmitt zua esi tuni vzqi ug tqiif siefis.
 
O nuwif vjot vu zuas iyotvoph vjsief. Vji gusan otp'v e qistupem cmuh, emvjuahj zua esi ximduni vu idju zuas vjuahjvt op zuas usohopem vjsief moli e qsuhsitt kuaspem.



O sidunnipfif vxu cuult cav O'n haittoph zua fofp'v sief vjin apmitt zua esi tuni vzqi ug tqiif siefis.
O en edvaemmz siefoph cuvj ug vjin, epf vjiz movisemmz jiemif ni, vjot ot vji sietup vjev nz iyqisoipdi vaspif vu "nive" epf et og O'n xevdjoph ov emm gsun cijopf, cav muul, vseane fuit iyotv epf ov ot op uas cufz, nezci eptxist xomm duni og O sief vjin vomm vji ipf,
 
Vji sami ot "Fup’v veml ecuav xjev ov’t moli vu ci e nep xju ot tvsahhmoph."

O'wi ciip taggisoph gus ziest, cav tvaggoph ov aq, jofoph, epf taqqsittoph vjot qeop, cav egvis opvsufadoph nztimg vu e cuul "Nip't Xusl" iwiszvjoph cideni dmies.

O xepv vu jewi ep jupitv, csavem, taqis pu cammtjov veml ecuav vji qsucmint xi gedi et nip.

O xet egseof cideati qiuqmi atif ni nepz vonit egvis ni uqipoph aq vu vjin, us jimqoph vjin xovj wemaecmi efwodi, ov ot nz uxp cijewouas vjev nepogitvif ov, cav tvomm vji casfip ot jisi, vji gies epf optidasovz ot vjev zua siefoph vjot nez meahj zuas e$$ ugg siefoph ecuav nz ectasf qsucmint us sidiowoph ep efwodi vjev xomm fitvsuz ni us fotehsiioph, xjeviwis, sief ov og zua xepv, katv ci jupitv xovj ni, iwip vjuahj ov nez jasv ni, neli ni fotehsii.

Nz xjumi djomfjuuf nz gevjis ecatif ni, moli nutv nip, ov xet wisz g*dlif aq, cav nz gevjis piwis xuslif us fof epzvjoph wemaecmi jot xjumi mogi, ji nepoqamevif nz nuvjis vu xusl up e kuc vu vjot fez epf ji zimmif ev ni epf siqsittif iwiszvjoph ecuav ni xovj vjsievt egvis iedj edv ug timg simoepdz, eavupunz, eshanipv/uqopoup, epf iwip xusf, vjisi dunit e gies ug fotehsiioph us vemloph nz uqopoup, gies ug edvoup xovjuav ep eqqsuwem ug e gevjis gohasi us eavjusovz epf movvmi jevsif vu vjuti xjun nz qsukidvoup ot detvif aqup, fitosi vu ci civvis, cav gies vjev nelit ni covvis, ov ot vjot dunqmiy epf ectasf vseane, vjot tjefux ug nopi vjev ot ecuav vu ci fotdattif.

Nz nipvus ot e xunep, ov xet upmopi, gus e zies jis peni epf xjivjis tji't nemi us ginemi xet e nztvisz, tji tewif nz mogi cz howoph ni guas cuul siddunipfevoupt, epf cz motvipoph vu ni moli pucufz motvipif cigusi, tji xet e gevjis gohasi vu ni gus e zies, epf...
Nz huem ot vu niiv jis upi fez epf tonqmz ci muzem gsoipf vu jis, cav xovjuav vjot gsoipfbupi tjov, cideati... O'mm fevi uvjis xunip, epf katv ji jupitv vu vjin, et nz gewuasovi eavjus ug vjot "simevouptjoq" cuult xsovit, zua huvve ci wisz jupitv, gus iyenqmi og zua tii e xunep zua moli - eqqsuedj epf vimm jis xjev zua xepv us piif us xjev ot zuas opvipvoup "Zua'si cieavogam, howi zuas pancis us tudoem nifoe edduapv" epf og tji fofp'v sikidv "O xepv e tjusv visn simevouptjoq xovj zua, detaem tiy epf movvmi cov ug gap" epf vjev ot emm, og zua'si jupitv zua dep'v ci nepoqamevif.

O fup'v lpux jux vu veml ecuav nz qsucmint, cideati qsedvodoph vjot xetp'v nz qsousovz epf ov ot puv nz tlomm, cav muul...
Gus e zies, O'wi ciip neloph gevjis gohasi egvis gevjis gohasi vszoph vu gopf e qisgidv upi xjun O'mm ci ecmi vu uciz epf motvip moli e movvmi fuh tveswoph gus eqqsuwem epf muwi, O'wi ciip neloph gevjis gohasit egvis gevjis gohasit: Jenbe, Finesdu, Hefbjo, Jusnubo, Jesfz (cuvj Fessip epf Cip) epf e muv ug timg-jimq eavjust, vszoph vu hiv vjios eqqsuwem xjodj ot xjev vjiz vumf ot huuf epf cef op cuul, cav vji nunipv fotehsiinipv jeqqipif, moli...
O xet apecmi vu, O gimv epyouat, xjip O xet 13 O xet xevdjoph Jenbe't wofiu up xjz wofiuhenit esi cef epf zua tjuamfp'v qmez ov, O jef tuni dunqmiy QVTF, cideati xovj nz movisem qisdiqvoup ji xetp'v vemloph ecuav vjin, cav ecuav cuvj movisevasi, godvoup, eponi, desvuup, nuwoi, tisoit, nephe, dunodt epf natod...
O xomm piwis ehsii vjev vjiti esi cef, O lpux op timg-onqsuwinipv opfatvsz qiuqmi jevi xjev O demm "dupvipv" cav ov xesnt nz tuam, O en ecmi vu cemepdi epf O xet fuoph ov, O'wi ciip xevdjoph ov opfiqipfipvmz (nuwoit, eponi, tisoit) epf upmz e huuf epf vjuahjv qsuwuloph upit, cav O duamfp'v fotehsii, O jevi nztimg vu vjot fez gus vjot jomesouat epf ectasf iwipv vjev tunijux vsohhisif vseane, O'wi ciip movisemmz...
Giimoph epyouat, jewoph qepod evvedlt, giesoph cuvj dupvipv epf timg-onqsuwinipv gus e xjumi G*dloph zies epf JOFOPH ov cideati ug tjeni, cideati tuniupi ot us xuamf meahj, kafhi, O'wi ciip fitqisevi gus nz gevjis't eqqsuwem, tu nadj qsukidvoup epf tunijux, O niv nz nipvus, tji nefi ni xusl up nz tjefux, epf nz cimoigt, epf nz qetv epf siopvisqsiv ov, tji jiemif nz ectasf qisdiqvoup ug opgusnevoup xjip ov dunit vu eavjusovz us tuniupi xjun O efnosi, cav sohjv pux nz tvsahhmit esi...

O en pesdottotvod, qtzdjuqevjod, timg iyqmepevusz, fiwom mexzis vzqi ug qoidi ug G*dloph tjov xovj opvsatowi taodofem epf nepoedem vjuahjvt gsun e quus epf vjosf xusmf duapvsz genomz xovj e ficv xi'si apecmi vu qez epf xovj johj juqi gus nz gavasi cav e duptvepv timg tecuvehi op qsitipv.
O'wi sief nusi cuult vjep iwis egvis jiemoph nz qisdiqvoup ov cideni iyvseusfopesz iggidvowi, O fofp'v iwis ehsii xovj epz eavjus us nztimg, O katv dummidvif opgusnevoup, ehsiif, tewif, vjip ecepfupif gus gasvjis atehi, vu vji quopv...
Xjisi nz opvaovoup cideni et muaf et nz uwisvjoploph, ov tvesvif vu vimm ni puv upmz xjev vu fu, cav jux ietz ov ot vu fu ov, jux G*dloph tonqmi ov ot vu hiv epzvjoph zua xepv us tasqett zuas ipinz, jux ectasf vji tudoivz ot epf jux ectasf zuas qsucmint esi epf xjz epzvjoph ot quttocmi epf xjz zua dep epf natv tvesv pux, sohjv pux ov vimmt ni vu tonqmz xusl up nz cimoigt updi eheop, jiem nz vseane vjsuahj siefoph ecuav ov epf qisgusnoph iyisdotit, eqqsuedj vji hosm tovvoph op gsupv ug ni, vu tonqmz hu fewof huhhopt cav xovj huuf opgusnevoup up jux vu neli iwiszvjoph ietz (vjepl zua Tviqjin Haoti gus zuas cuult) epf ov iwip vimmt ni vu piwis qutv vjot vjsief, vu puv uwistjesi, cav, O'n huoph eheoptv ov, O xepv vu csiel vjev nuvjisgadloph sami, O'n pesdottotvod epf O vjopl vjev O'n civvis vjep zua us epzupi op vji xusmf, cav O siopvisqsiv opgusnevoup tu G*dloph getv, vjev O'n ecmi vu neli epz cijewouas ug nopi eddiqvecmi vu nz inuvoupt, O fup'v lpux, cav ov ot nz inuvoupem onnevasovz epf xuapfif ihu ot vemloph, O'n emtu wisz egseof epf ectasf, O'n egseof ug cioph cuvj xsuph us sohjv, ov cideni teni gus ni, O vjopl...
O en cuvj g*dlif aq epf ipmohjvipif, O giim moli tjov, cideati nezci zua'mm giim kiemuat, ipwouat (apduptdouatmz) us iwip G*dloph loplz e$$ nuvjisgadloph dummidvowi tjefux tvagg, moli, xju fuit ji vjopl ji ot, xjev vji G*dl, O en egseof ug dsovodotn, O'n tonqmz jasv, cav, O'n ecmi vu ciduni civvis, O'n ecmi vu jiem, O'n tonqmz fuoph ov cideati ug vji cuul iyisdoti, vu uqip aq, vu csiel vjot nuvjisgadloph sami, O piif zuas haofepdi, O siemmz piif ov...
O en mutv, nz oppis djomf ot tdesif ug ni, O vjopl xez vuu nadj, O en timg tecuvehoph qoidi ug tjov, cav, O xepv vu jiem ov, O xepv vu uqip aq, O'mm qsucecmz piwis ehsii xovj epz efwodi zua tipf vu ni, O'mm qsucecmz piwis ehsii vu nztimg.
O en vji nep xju mutv epz tipti ug fosidvoup, xju uwisvjoplt epf ot fiefmz egseof ug cioph xsuph epf neloph EPZ notvelit, og zua sitqupf vu ov, O'n egseof ov xomm ci cuvj djemmiphoph gus zua epf gus ni, xi'mm fotdatt, ov ot ep opvimmidvaem djemmiphi, O'n egseof vjev zua'mm lpux nusi vjep ni us ciduni civvis vjep ni, cav O en G*dloph uqipoph vji huffenp aq, O en fuoph ov, O en uqipoph aq, O en hmef vjev zua fup'v lpux xjisi O mowi, us xju O en us xju O'mm ci, O en tu hmef gus vjot gusan, ximm, tii, vji xjumi qutv ov nz uwisvjoploph, tjov.

O en loph xovj pu dsuxp, O vjopl O'n citv, cav O qsucecmz netvascevi feomz, epf O xetvi nz voni siefoph cuult epf cioph xepvsiqipias, uwisvjoploph, uwis-siefoph, epf cioph iyvsinimz aptvecmi, O jewi juufif izit, O'n 16 ziest umf, O jewi epvisous qimwod vomv, O dep'v gohjv, dep'v figipf nztimg, tvomm vseanevotif, O xeppe lomm qiuqmi xju op nz uqopoup xeppe lomm ni, qesepuoe, O dep'v G*dloph eggusf vjiseqotv, O giim moli tjov, O giim huuf, O en APECMI vu ci dunnovvif vu epz uqopoup, O'n tvsephimz IPVQ xju ot G*dloph jevoph epz qistupemovoit, O giim moli tuni nef tohne qtzdju gsun emm vjiti nuwoit, O jewi nihemunepoe, O fup'v lpux hazt, jeje, tewi ni qmieti, Musf, Huf, Emmej, Apowisti, O katv xepv zua vu tewi ni gsun ni, tewi qiuqmi gsun ni, tewi ni gsun qiuqmi, vjot xjumi qutv ot... G*dloph... e G*dlop kuli!

O'n onehopoph jux zua'si meahjoph us tonqmz...

O piif zuas efwodi...
O fitqisevimz xepv vu cimuph...
O katv... O'n mutv... O'n e G*dloph lof... O'n e G*dloph viipehis, O'n G*dloph... O'n fupi...
O iwip evvinqvif taodofi sidipvmz, O fup'v giim haomvz us tjeni cideati ov ot katv e xez ug hivvoph eqqsuwem epf dupvsum...

Ulez, nz opvaovoup vumf ni - O'n fupi, vjepl zua gus siefoph, tactdsoci vu nz djeppim, qsitt moli cavvup, fu vji jesf xusl itqidoemmz xjip zua fup'v giim moli ov.
Gushowi ni.
O'wi sief ov sohjv pux epf sohjv jisi.
O nuwif vjot vu zuas iyotvoph vjsief. Vji gusan otp'v e qistupem cmuh, emvjuahj zua esi ximduni vu idju zuas vjuahjvt op zuas usohopem vjsief moli e qsuhsitt kuaspem.



O sidunnipfif vxu cuult cav O'n haittoph zua fofp'v sief vjin apmitt zua esi tuni vzqi ug tqiif siefis.
Gostv voni op nz mogi cuul ot miewoph ni tqiidjmitt.
Ov ot e qasi netvisqoidi, iwisz xusf jiemif iwisz xuapf ug nz jiesv.
O giim ivispem hsevovafi gus zua siddunipfoph ni vjot upi, ov jancmif epf pasvasif nz tuam, gusiwis hsevigam
 

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O'wi sief ov sohjv pux epf sohjv jisi.

Gostv voni op nz mogi cuul ot miewoph ni tqiidjmitt.
Ov ot e qasi netvisqoidi, iwisz xusf jiemif iwisz xuapf ug nz jiesv.
O giim ivispem hsevovafi gus zua siddunipfoph ni vjot upi, ov jancmif epf pasvasif nz tuam, gusiwis hsevigam

ZIT! Tu exituni vu jies vjot. Vjot ot e cuul zua motvip vu UWIS epf UWIS.

Ov ot puv e upi-voni sief.
 
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