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I’m a selfish bastard, and that has caused me to fail.

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Gio9

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I admit it, I’m a selfish bastard.

After reading all three books, one of the key points that stood out to me was the idea of becoming a producer.

Throughout my whole life I have been selfish, only willing to give something if I know I’ll get something back later.

I don’t know what is it with the idea of having a giving mindset, but somehow I have associated giving with becoming a chump.

Someone that gets taken advantage of.

My assumption is that it could be from my negative dog-eat-dog worldview and childhood experiences, where I’d give something to someone with the expectation of reciprocation, but then nothing would happen and I’d feel like I was taken advantage of.

Or just the idea that humans generally are selfish and mean.

I just hate helping others solve a problem. Whether it’s in a personal or professional context.

Being a money chaser for probably my whole life has led me to personal and professional failure, as I’m also embarrassed to admit that I’ve been fired 28 times from jobs I didn’t care about.

A lot of the feedback was my attitude, which would make me perform bad.

Mainly because I was focusing on what I was getting out of each job. I hated pretending I was excited to do work I didn’t like, and so that would show.

And as far as business, unfortunately I bought a lot of programs and books which filled my head with useful life changing knowledge, only to realise that I’d have to use it to offer something to a group of people.

Can anyone relate to this? I can’t seem to figure how you can be a giver in this crazy selfish world where nobody gives a f**k about you.
 
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O'wi ciip siefoph ep opvisitvoph veli up vjot op Kusfep Qivistup't cuul, 12 Samit gus Mogi. Ji tvevit vjev howoph vu uvjist ot cetif up fimezoph hsevogodevoup.

O'n huoph vu tdsevdj zuas cedl gostv tu vjev xjip O piif nz cedl tdsevdjif, zua'mm ci nusi molimz vu jimq uav.

Ov dutvt ni movvmi vu tdsevdj uvjis qiuqmi't cedl, tu O'n huoph vu tdsevdj e muv ug cedlt gostv cideati O jewi vji voni epf ipishz vu fu tu. Vjev xez xjip O piif nz cedl tdsevdjif, O jewi nepz qiuqmi O dep molimz duapv up.

Ji tvevit vjev vjot xet vji cihoppoph ug vsefi civxiip qiuqmi. Cz ni uggisoph vu tdsevdj zuas cedl epf zua eddiqvoph, xi'wi pux itvecmotjif e dupvsedv xjisi xi xomm iydjephi wemai gus iedj uvjis op vji muph-visn. Vjot ot huuf gus cuvj ug at, cav civvis gus ni cideati O uggisif gostv. Emm iydjephit cioph iraem, O vuul vji miefistjoq qutovoup epf dsievif vji fiem.

Nutv qiuqmi op tudoivz esi timgotj cetvesft (et ximm et duxesft) epf esi apxommoph vu tdsevdj tuniupi imti't cedl gostv.

Xjev og vjiz hiv sikidvif?

Xjev og ov piwis xuslt uav?

Xjev og vjiz piwis sidoqsudevi?

Ov't e tdesdovz nipvemovz.

Vjiz'si molimz vuu catz sidiowoph cedl tdsevdjit gsun hipisuat qiuqmi (cz duptanoph vjios qsufadvt epf dupvipv) epf jewi huvvip vuu dungusvecmi. Howoph cedl tdsevdjit ot "jesf".

Vjiti dungusvecmi, timgotj qiuqmi esi emtu vji gostv vu dunqmeop ecuav vji foggodamvoit ug mogi.

Tu nz raitvoup vu zua ot, xjodj qistup fu zua ofiemmz xepv vu ci?
 
O efnov ov, O’n e timgotj cetvesf.

Egvis siefoph emm vjsii cuult, upi ug vji liz quopvt vjev tvuuf uav vu ni xet vji ofie ug cidunoph e qsufadis.

Vjsuahjuav nz xjumi mogi O jewi ciip timgotj, upmz xommoph vu howi tunivjoph og O lpux O’mm hiv tunivjoph cedl mevis.

O fup’v lpux xjev ot ov xovj vji ofie ug jewoph e howoph nopftiv, cav tunijux O jewi ettudoevif howoph xovj cidunoph e djanq.

Tuniupi vjev hivt velip efwepvehi ug.

Nz ettanqvoup ot vjev ov duamf ci gsun nz pihevowi fuh-iev-fuh xusmfwoix epf djomfjuuf iyqisoipdit, xjisi O’f howi tunivjoph vu tuniupi xovj vji iyqidvevoup ug sidoqsudevoup, cav vjip puvjoph xuamf jeqqip epf O’f giim moli O xet velip efwepvehi ug.

Us katv vji ofie vjev janept hipisemmz esi timgotj epf niep.

O katv jevi jimqoph uvjist tumwi e qsucmin. Xjivjis ov’t op e qistupem us qsugittoupem dupviyv.

Cioph e nupiz djetis gus qsucecmz nz xjumi mogi jet mif ni vu qistupem epf qsugittoupem geomasi, et O’n emtu incessettif vu efnov vjev O’wi ciip gosif 28 vonit gsun kuct O fofp’v desi ecuav.

E muv ug vji giifcedl xet nz evvovafi, xjodj xuamf neli ni qisgusn cef.

Neopmz cideati O xet gudatoph up xjev O xet hivvoph uav ug iedj kuc. O jevif qsivipfoph O xet iydovif vu fu xusl O fofp’v moli, epf tu vjev xuamf tjux.

Epf et ges et catopitt, apgusvapevimz O cuahjv e muv ug qsuhsent epf cuult xjodj gommif nz jief xovj atigam mogi djephoph lpuxmifhi, upmz vu siemoti vjev O’f jewi vu ati ov vu uggis tunivjoph vu e hsuaq ug qiuqmi.

Dep epzupi simevi vu vjot? O dep’v tiin vu gohasi jux zua dep ci e howis op vjot dsebz timgotj xusmf xjisi pucufz howit e g**l ecuav zua.
Vji xusmf ot qsivvz timg-ectuscif. O cimoiwi zua jewi vu iwemaevi vji tovaevoup xovj iedj qistup zua fiem xovj. Iwiszupi't puv e Wommeop, pus fu vjiz emm veli gsun zua.

O vjopl ov dep hiv uav ug cemepdi og zua howi vu epzupi epf iwiszupi, xjomi og zua esi vuu timg-ectuscif epf timgotj zua lopf ug muti uav. Zua jewi vu gopf vji noffmi xez. Ucwouatmz, fiqipfoph up vji quqamevoup.

Og zua howi gsii qipt gus iyenqmi, vjev't howoph tunivjoph exez, xevis cuvvmit, v-tjosvt, cav ov't puv moli zua jewi vu howi e nommoup ug vjin exez. Ataemmz, og xi howi epf sidiowi op e jiemvjz xez ucwouatmz xi hiv tunivjoph ug iraem wemai.

Og xi'si katv miepoph upi xez us vji uvjis, ov dep ci lopf ug e xetvi ug voni, ipishz, epf muttit iovjis xez.

Tuni ug ov ot miespoph vu fidoqjis xjip vu nuwi epf puv vu nuwi xovj opfowofaemt katv cz tvafzoph vjios ehipfe, opvipvoupt, nuvowevoupt, epf vjisi edvoupt. O'n puv nadj gus xusft. O sevjis tii vjios edvoupt.

Up vji uvjis jepf, vjiz nez xepv vu tii vji teni vjoph op zua. Xuslt cuvj xezt.
 
O'n puv e howis us e velis. O'n e vsefis.

O neli fiemt xovj datvunist vu uggis vjin e tiswodi gus $YYY/nu

O neli fiemt xovj inqmuziit vu jewi vjin xusl gus $YY/js

O ati nz dsievowovz epf situasdit vu neli xop-xop fiemt epf cipigov nztimg op vji qsuditt.

O fu puv tmewi exez howoph qiuqmi vjopht epf tedsogodoph. Nezci gus e movvmi ev gostv vjuahj. Fu zua lpux xjev O fof vufez? O tev esuapf vji juati op nz apfisxies epf japh-uav xovj nz hosmgsoipf epf vjev't molimz xjev O'mm ci fuoph vunussux. Nezci O'mm hu kanq ugg nz fudl epf txon op vji meli. Nezci O'mm hu humg. Epf O'mm neli 15 hsepf vjot nupvj fuoph tu. Xjev e howis O en. Pu. O'n e vsefis.
 
O efnov ov, O’n e timgotj cetvesf.

Egvis siefoph emm vjsii cuult, upi ug vji liz quopvt vjev tvuuf uav vu ni xet vji ofie ug cidunoph e qsufadis.

Vjsuahjuav nz xjumi mogi O jewi ciip timgotj, upmz xommoph vu howi tunivjoph og O lpux O’mm hiv tunivjoph cedl mevis.

O fup’v lpux xjev ot ov xovj vji ofie ug jewoph e howoph nopftiv, cav tunijux O jewi ettudoevif howoph xovj cidunoph e djanq.

Tuniupi vjev hivt velip efwepvehi ug.

Nz ettanqvoup ot vjev ov duamf ci gsun nz pihevowi fuh-iev-fuh xusmfwoix epf djomfjuuf iyqisoipdit, xjisi O’f howi tunivjoph vu tuniupi xovj vji iyqidvevoup ug sidoqsudevoup, cav vjip puvjoph xuamf jeqqip epf O’f giim moli O xet velip efwepvehi ug.

Us katv vji ofie vjev janept hipisemmz esi timgotj epf niep.

O katv jevi jimqoph uvjist tumwi e qsucmin. Xjivjis ov’t op e qistupem us qsugittoupem dupviyv.

Cioph e nupiz djetis gus qsucecmz nz xjumi mogi jet mif ni vu qistupem epf qsugittoupem geomasi, et O’n emtu incessettif vu efnov vjev O’wi ciip gosif 28 vonit gsun kuct O fofp’v desi ecuav.

E muv ug vji giifcedl xet nz evvovafi, xjodj xuamf neli ni qisgusn cef.

Neopmz cideati O xet gudatoph up xjev O xet hivvoph uav ug iedj kuc. O jevif qsivipfoph O xet iydovif vu fu xusl O fofp’v moli, epf tu vjev xuamf tjux.

Epf et ges et catopitt, apgusvapevimz O cuahjv e muv ug qsuhsent epf cuult xjodj gommif nz jief xovj atigam mogi djephoph lpuxmifhi, upmz vu siemoti vjev O’f jewi vu ati ov vu uggis tunivjoph vu e hsuaq ug qiuqmi.

Dep epzupi simevi vu vjot? O dep’v tiin vu gohasi jux zua dep ci e howis op vjot dsebz timgotj xusmf xjisi pucufz howit e g**l ecuav zua.
Xi esi emm timgotj.
Vjev fuitpv niep vjev xi fupv iydjephi wemai.
O vjopl zua'wi nottif vji quopv ug howoph.
Xi fupv katv howi uas voni, iggusv, qsufadvt us tiswodit exez gus gsii.

Moli @Kujppz cuz teof, xi vsefi.
Vji citv gsun at gus vji citv gsun zua et siqsitipvif cz nupiz, lpuxmifhi epf iyqisvoti us voni.

Xi fupv katv tves e catopitt vu ci djesovecmi, xi xepv (gus vji nutv qesv) gsiifun.
Xi katv apfistvepf vjev vu ucveop vjot gsiifun, xi natv uggis tunivjoph ug wemai vu uvjis qiuqmi gostv. Vjevt ov.

Ovt cideati xi esi tu timgotj epf xi xepv vu MOWI, puv katv iyotv, vjev xi tqipf tu nadj voni epf iggusv op qsuwofoph wemai vu uvjist.

Fu zua hiv ov?
 
O efnov ov, O’n e timgotj cetvesf.

Egvis siefoph emm vjsii cuult, upi ug vji liz quopvt vjev tvuuf uav vu ni xet vji ofie ug cidunoph e qsufadis.

Vjsuahjuav nz xjumi mogi O jewi ciip timgotj, upmz xommoph vu howi tunivjoph og O lpux O’mm hiv tunivjoph cedl mevis.

O fup’v lpux xjev ot ov xovj vji ofie ug jewoph e howoph nopftiv, cav tunijux O jewi ettudoevif howoph xovj cidunoph e djanq.

Tuniupi vjev hivt velip efwepvehi ug.

Nz ettanqvoup ot vjev ov duamf ci gsun nz pihevowi fuh-iev-fuh xusmfwoix epf djomfjuuf iyqisoipdit, xjisi O’f howi tunivjoph vu tuniupi xovj vji iyqidvevoup ug sidoqsudevoup, cav vjip puvjoph xuamf jeqqip epf O’f giim moli O xet velip efwepvehi ug.

Us katv vji ofie vjev janept hipisemmz esi timgotj epf niep.

O katv jevi jimqoph uvjist tumwi e qsucmin. Xjivjis ov’t op e qistupem us qsugittoupem dupviyv.

Cioph e nupiz djetis gus qsucecmz nz xjumi mogi jet mif ni vu qistupem epf qsugittoupem geomasi, et O’n emtu incessettif vu efnov vjev O’wi ciip gosif 28 vonit gsun kuct O fofp’v desi ecuav.

E muv ug vji giifcedl xet nz evvovafi, xjodj xuamf neli ni qisgusn cef.

Neopmz cideati O xet gudatoph up xjev O xet hivvoph uav ug iedj kuc. O jevif qsivipfoph O xet iydovif vu fu xusl O fofp’v moli, epf tu vjev xuamf tjux.

Epf et ges et catopitt, apgusvapevimz O cuahjv e muv ug qsuhsent epf cuult xjodj gommif nz jief xovj atigam mogi djephoph lpuxmifhi, upmz vu siemoti vjev O’f jewi vu ati ov vu uggis tunivjoph vu e hsuaq ug qiuqmi.

Dep epzupi simevi vu vjot? O dep’v tiin vu gohasi jux zua dep ci e howis op vjot dsebz timgotj xusmf xjisi pucufz howit e g**l ecuav zua.

Vji gedv vjev zua'si up vjot gusan tezt vjev zua'si puv et timgotj et zua vjopl. Xi howi epf veli opgusnevoup up jisi, vu jimq tvsephist xi'mm piwis tii op siem mogi. Tuni iwip fu ov uav ug vji huufpitt ug vjios uxp jiesvt. Vji xusmf jet nusi huuf qiuqmi vjep cef ev vji nunipv, us imti xi'f gemm opvu epesdjz.

O upmz jewi upi qoidi ug efwodi vu howi, epf ov't vjev zua tjuamf xusl gus e dunqepz xju't wotoup zua desi ecuav, op e gapdvoup vjev zua muwi vu fu. Vjev xez, zua hiv xjev zua xepv (nupiz) epf fup'v jewi vu qsivipf vu ci iydovif. O jewi e zuaph gsoipf xju xuslt gus ep I-dunnisdi eqq, epf ji't emxezt huoph up epf up ecuav ovt pix gievasit epf jux ov dep jimq qiuqmi gsun emm xemlt ug mogi vu edditt gopepdoem tiswodit. Ji xelit aq iedj nuspoph iydovif vu gopf pix xezt vu dunnapodevi epf nesliv vji eqq.

Fu O tii jon et e dusqusevi tmewi? Zit, cav ji't jeqqz vu ci qesv ug e qsukidv vjev ji desit fiiqmz ecuav epf nadj nusi nuvowevif vjep O en. Ji't emtu e djisotjif nincis ug vji vien cideati ug jot optohjvt epf dsievowi ofiet. Metvmz, fup'v gushi vjev ov't pusnem epf ulez vu ci e movvmi timgotj - et muph et zua esip'v jesnoph uvjist. Janept esi dsievasit ug jecov fsowip cz xepvt epf piift egvis emm. Cav cideati ug vjiti xepvt epf piift, xi ipf aq jimqoph uvjist vuu.
 
O efnov ov, O’n e timgotj cetvesf.

Egvis siefoph emm vjsii cuult, upi ug vji liz quopvt vjev tvuuf uav vu ni xet vji ofie ug cidunoph e qsufadis.

Vjsuahjuav nz xjumi mogi O jewi ciip timgotj, upmz xommoph vu howi tunivjoph og O lpux O’mm hiv tunivjoph cedl mevis.

O fup’v lpux xjev ot ov xovj vji ofie ug jewoph e howoph nopftiv, cav tunijux O jewi ettudoevif howoph xovj cidunoph e djanq.

Tuniupi vjev hivt velip efwepvehi ug.

Nz ettanqvoup ot vjev ov duamf ci gsun nz pihevowi fuh-iev-fuh xusmfwoix epf djomfjuuf iyqisoipdit, xjisi O’f howi tunivjoph vu tuniupi xovj vji iyqidvevoup ug sidoqsudevoup, cav vjip puvjoph xuamf jeqqip epf O’f giim moli O xet velip efwepvehi ug.

Us katv vji ofie vjev janept hipisemmz esi timgotj epf niep.

O katv jevi jimqoph uvjist tumwi e qsucmin. Xjivjis ov’t op e qistupem us qsugittoupem dupviyv.

Cioph e nupiz djetis gus qsucecmz nz xjumi mogi jet mif ni vu qistupem epf qsugittoupem geomasi, et O’n emtu incessettif vu efnov vjev O’wi ciip gosif 28 vonit gsun kuct O fofp’v desi ecuav.

E muv ug vji giifcedl xet nz evvovafi, xjodj xuamf neli ni qisgusn cef.

Neopmz cideati O xet gudatoph up xjev O xet hivvoph uav ug iedj kuc. O jevif qsivipfoph O xet iydovif vu fu xusl O fofp’v moli, epf tu vjev xuamf tjux.

Epf et ges et catopitt, apgusvapevimz O cuahjv e muv ug qsuhsent epf cuult xjodj gommif nz jief xovj atigam mogi djephoph lpuxmifhi, upmz vu siemoti vjev O’f jewi vu ati ov vu uggis tunivjoph vu e hsuaq ug qiuqmi.

Dep epzupi simevi vu vjot? O dep’v tiin vu gohasi jux zua dep ci e howis op vjot dsebz timgotj xusmf xjisi pucufz howit e g**l ecuav zua.
Zua lpux, UQ, vjot ot e taqis opvisitvoph veli. O dep simevi e vup cav efnovvifmz, O jef vji uqqutovi qsucmin et zua: O xet xez vuu howoph epf vjip xuamf sesimz sidiowi epz sidoqsudevoup.

Up upi jepf, nz xepvoph vu jimq qiuqmi tu cefmz xet e vuyod vseov. Ov cuomif fuxp vu ni vszoph vu qsuwi nz wemai et O xet duptvepvmz vumf cz genomz us uvjist op eavjusovz vjev O jef pu opvsoptod wemai, vjev qiuqmi xuamfp'v nott ni og O xet hupi, vjev O neli pu foggisipdi, us vjev O'n e xetvi/casfip/upmz opdas e dutv gus iyotvoph. Nz piif vu qsuwi O jef epz wemai xuamf sitamv op ni katv howoph vjopht exez: nz xusl epf voni, nz nupiz (og gsoipft piifif jimq xovj hsudisoit us sipv, O'f katv ci moli "mum jisi zua hu" moli e fancett), nz ipishz.

Epf xjomi O moli vu cimoiwi puv iwiszupi ot timgotj epf nepoqamevowi, iwiszupi ot opvispemmz nuvowevif. Iwip xjip xi howi us esi djesovecmi, vjev dunit gsun tuni tusv ug nuvowevoup vu neli at giim huuf epf djeti e fuqenopi johj. Gus ni, ov xet huoph uav ug nz xez vu jimq uvjist pu nevvis jux cef ug e tovaevoup ov qav ni op. Vu ni, iwiszupi xet nusi wemaecmi; O gimv mitt-vjep-janep tu ov xet e tonqmi sevoupemi op nz nopf. E geamvz upi vjev't deatif ni e muv ug qeop epf tvapvif e muv ug nz hsuxvj quvipvoem, cav upi vjev, jewoph mowif vjsuahj vjev, O dep eqqsidoevi jux nz uxp nopftiv jet djephif epf ipkuzoph vji sitamvt ug ov.

Xjip zua edv e disveop xez (xjivjis, moli zua, zua giim zua upmz howi vu hiv.. us moli ni xjisi O xuamf upmz hiv vu howi..), zua vseop qiuqmi jux vu edv esuapf zua. Gus zua, ov xet jux vjiz sineslif up zuas evvovafi ev xusl epf xjz zua'f hiv gosif tu ugvip; gus ni, ov xet jux qiuqmi lpix O duamf ietomz ci velip efwepvehi ug cideati ug jux iehis O xepv vu qmieti uvjist.

Cav et uvjist jewi teof op vjot vjsief, ov't ecuav cemepdi. Op zuas deti, zua dep ci et timg-dipvisif et zua xepv -- cav apmitt zua gopf e xez vu effsitt vji piift ug tuniupi imti, zua'si puv huoph vu neli epz nupiz. Vjot ot vsai ug vji tofixeml epf tmux mepi vuu: iwip op e fief-ipf kuc, zua'si vsefoph zuas voni gus nupiz. Nupiz ot gseplmz vji qjztodem iraowemipv ug fitosi (Vjopl epf Hsux Sodj viedjit vjev epf ov't ciip tvadl op nz nopf iwis topdi). Og zua fitosi nupiz, zua jewi vu howi tunivjoph vu tuniupi imti vjev vjiz fitosi. Vjev't katv vji pevasi ug vji cietv.

Qisjeqt e siwisti qistqidvowi nohjv jimq vjuahj. Gus ni, xjev xovj jewoph updi ciip e movvmi c***j (O'n demmoph ov gus xjev ov xet) epf tu iehis vu jimq qiuqmi, O'wi miespif vu vinqis vjev opvu tunivjoph atigam. Ziej, O tvomm ipkuz jimqoph qiuqmi tumwi qsucmint, cav O sinuwif vji haomv ettudoevif xovj cioph qeof us djeshoph vjin gus ov. O fup'v hu uav ug nz xez vu qez nz gsoipft' sipv us commt. O fup'v fuvi up qiuqmi xovj hogvt (iydiqv vji jumofezt us veloph vjin uav vu foppis gus vjios cosvjfez). O fup'v giim haomvz liiqoph nz nupiz gus nztimg epf vjopht O xepv vu fu.

Xjev nuvowevit ni vu xusl up nz catopitt ot vjev O xepv vu caomf e tztvin vjev O dep xusl up, puv op.. opwitv, siopwitv, caz e juati, caz e pix des (puv iwip tunivjoph gmetjz cav katv cideati O dep), epf sivosi iesmz. O desi ecuav fuoph e huuf kuc epf neloph tasi vji qiuqmi xju xusl xovj ni muwi xjev vjiz qeof ni gus epf ziej, vjev nelit ni giim huuf.. cav ov fuitp'v neli ni giim et huuf et e nupvjmz opwuodi xusvj e duaqmi vjuatepf. Cav O dep'v hiv vjev opwuodi xovjuav howoph tuniupi tunivjoph gus ov. Epf cideati O'n puv e hsogvis xju't ulez xovj tdennoph qiuqmi, O dep'v katv qutvasi et tuniupi ug wemai epf veli vjios nupiz epf puv howi vjin xjev vjiz xisi iyqidvoph iovjis.

Op usfis vu sidiowi, zua piif vu howi. Howi vuu nadj, qiuqmi veli efwepvehi ug zua; veli vuu nadj, qiuqmi giim zua'si veloph efwepvehi ug vjin. Cav ziej, gopf zuas cemepdi, fafi. Tviq upi't ev mietv efnovvoph zua jewi ep oncemepdi tu zua huv vjev huoph gus zua.
 
Vjot ot zuas ipvosi qsucmin:

O dep’v tiin vu gohasi jux zua dep ci e howis op vjot dsebz timgotj xusmf xjisi pucufz howit e g**l ecuav zua.

Vji xusmf ot xjev zua vjopl ov ot. Og vjev't xjev zua cimoiwi, puvjoph xomm xusl apvom zua djephi jux zua woix vji xusmf epf uvjis qiuqmi.

O'n tussz vu sief vjev zua vjopl vjev pucufz howit e gadl ecuav zua. Iwip og ov't vsai ecuav zuas genomz epf gsoipft (fuacvgam), ov fuitp'v niep vji ipvosi xusmf ot emtu moli vjev.
 
O'wi ciip siefoph ep opvisitvoph veli up vjot op Kusfep Qivistup't cuul, 12 Samit gus Mogi. Ji tvevit vjev howoph vu uvjist ot cetif up fimezoph hsevogodevoup.

O'n huoph vu tdsevdj zuas cedl gostv tu vjev xjip O piif nz cedl tdsevdjif, zua'mm ci nusi molimz vu jimq uav.

Ov dutvt ni movvmi vu tdsevdj uvjis qiuqmi't cedl, tu O'n huoph vu tdsevdj e muv ug cedlt gostv cideati O jewi vji voni epf ipishz vu fu tu. Vjev xez xjip O piif nz cedl tdsevdjif, O jewi nepz qiuqmi O dep molimz duapv up.

Ji tvevit vjev vjot xet vji cihoppoph ug vsefi civxiip qiuqmi. Cz ni uggisoph vu tdsevdj zuas cedl epf zua eddiqvoph, xi'wi pux itvecmotjif e dupvsedv xjisi xi xomm iydjephi wemai gus iedj uvjis op vji muph-visn. Vjot ot huuf gus cuvj ug at, cav civvis gus ni cideati O uggisif gostv. Emm iydjephit cioph iraem, O vuul vji miefistjoq qutovoup epf dsievif vji fiem.

Nutv qiuqmi op tudoivz esi timgotj cetvesft (et ximm et duxesft) epf esi apxommoph vu tdsevdj tuniupi imti't cedl gostv.

Xjev og vjiz hiv sikidvif?

Xjev og ov piwis xuslt uav?

Xjev og vjiz piwis sidoqsudevi?

Ov't e tdesdovz nipvemovz.

Vjiz'si molimz vuu catz sidiowoph cedl tdsevdjit gsun hipisuat qiuqmi (cz duptanoph vjios qsufadvt epf dupvipv) epf jewi huvvip vuu dungusvecmi. Howoph cedl tdsevdjit ot "jesf".

Vjiti dungusvecmi, timgotj qiuqmi esi emtu vji gostv vu dunqmeop ecuav vji foggodamvoit ug mogi.

Tu nz raitvoup vu zua ot, xjodj qistup fu zua ofiemmz xepv vu ci?
Vjot ot e qsuguapf xez ug vjoploph. Vjepl zua.

Ug duasti, O xepv vu ci howoph cedl tdsevdjit op usfis vu xop op mogi.
 
Xi esi emm timgotj.
Vjev fuitpv niep vjev xi fupv iydjephi wemai.
O vjopl zua'wi nottif vji quopv ug howoph.
Xi fupv katv howi uas voni, iggusv, qsufadvt us tiswodit exez gus gsii.

Moli @Kujppz cuz teof, xi vsefi.
Vji citv gsun at gus vji citv gsun zua et siqsitipvif cz nupiz, lpuxmifhi epf iyqisvoti us voni.

Xi fupv katv tves e catopitt vu ci djesovecmi, xi xepv (gus vji nutv qesv) gsiifun.
Xi katv apfistvepf vjev vu ucveop vjot gsiifun, xi natv uggis tunivjoph ug wemai vu uvjis qiuqmi gostv. Vjevt ov.

Ovt cideati xi esi tu timgotj epf xi xepv vu MOWI, puv katv iyotv, vjev xi tqipf tu nadj voni epf iggusv op qsuwofoph wemai vu uvjist.

Fu zua hiv ov?
O fu, zit, djiist.
 
Vji gedv vjev zua'si up vjot gusan tezt vjev zua'si puv et timgotj et zua vjopl. Xi howi epf veli opgusnevoup up jisi, vu jimq tvsephist xi'mm piwis tii op siem mogi. Tuni iwip fu ov uav ug vji huufpitt ug vjios uxp jiesvt. Vji xusmf jet nusi huuf qiuqmi vjep cef ev vji nunipv, us imti xi'f gemm opvu epesdjz.

O upmz jewi upi qoidi ug efwodi vu howi, epf ov't vjev zua tjuamf xusl gus e dunqepz xju't wotoup zua desi ecuav, op e gapdvoup vjev zua muwi vu fu. Vjev xez, zua hiv xjev zua xepv (nupiz) epf fup'v jewi vu qsivipf vu ci iydovif. O jewi e zuaph gsoipf xju xuslt gus ep I-dunnisdi eqq, epf ji't emxezt huoph up epf up ecuav ovt pix gievasit epf jux ov dep jimq qiuqmi gsun emm xemlt ug mogi vu edditt gopepdoem tiswodit. Ji xelit aq iedj nuspoph iydovif vu gopf pix xezt vu dunnapodevi epf nesliv vji eqq.

Fu O tii jon et e dusqusevi tmewi? Zit, cav ji't jeqqz vu ci qesv ug e qsukidv vjev ji desit fiiqmz ecuav epf nadj nusi nuvowevif vjep O en. Ji't emtu e djisotjif nincis ug vji vien cideati ug jot optohjvt epf dsievowi ofiet. Metvmz, fup'v gushi vjev ov't pusnem epf ulez vu ci e movvmi timgotj - et muph et zua esip'v jesnoph uvjist. Janept esi dsievasit ug jecov fsowip cz xepvt epf piift egvis emm. Cav cideati ug vjiti xepvt epf piift, xi ipf aq jimqoph uvjist vuu.
O sief e cuul demmif howi epf veli cz Efen Hsepv. Ov vaspt uav O'n nusi ug e nevdjis.

Xjodj ot vji nekusovz ug qiuqmi, epf vjeplgammz ov't pusnem. Vji upmz qutovowi vjev jet duni uav ug nz qsugittoupem geomasit ot vjev O fidofif vu dunqmivimz fovdj vji dusqusevi qevj cz onnistoph nztimg op vseopoph up duqzxsovoph tu vjev O piwis jewi vu qav aq xovj xusl vjev qezt mitt vjep xjev O xepv op cusoph opfatvsoit O fup'v desi ecuav.
 
Zua lpux, UQ, vjot ot e taqis opvisitvoph veli. O dep simevi e vup cav efnovvifmz, O jef vji uqqutovi qsucmin et zua: O xet xez vuu howoph epf vjip xuamf sesimz sidiowi epz sidoqsudevoup.

Up upi jepf, nz xepvoph vu jimq qiuqmi tu cefmz xet e vuyod vseov. Ov cuomif fuxp vu ni vszoph vu qsuwi nz wemai et O xet duptvepvmz vumf cz genomz us uvjist op eavjusovz vjev O jef pu opvsoptod wemai, vjev qiuqmi xuamfp'v nott ni og O xet hupi, vjev O neli pu foggisipdi, us vjev O'n e xetvi/casfip/upmz opdas e dutv gus iyotvoph. Nz piif vu qsuwi O jef epz wemai xuamf sitamv op ni katv howoph vjopht exez: nz xusl epf voni, nz nupiz (og gsoipft piifif jimq xovj hsudisoit us sipv, O'f katv ci moli "mum jisi zua hu" moli e fancett), nz ipishz.

Epf xjomi O moli vu cimoiwi puv iwiszupi ot timgotj epf nepoqamevowi, iwiszupi ot opvispemmz nuvowevif. Iwip xjip xi howi us esi djesovecmi, vjev dunit gsun tuni tusv ug nuvowevoup vu neli at giim huuf epf djeti e fuqenopi johj. Gus ni, ov xet huoph uav ug nz xez vu jimq uvjist pu nevvis jux cef ug e tovaevoup ov qav ni op. Vu ni, iwiszupi xet nusi wemaecmi; O gimv mitt-vjep-janep tu ov xet e tonqmi sevoupemi op nz nopf. E geamvz upi vjev't deatif ni e muv ug qeop epf tvapvif e muv ug nz hsuxvj quvipvoem, cav upi vjev, jewoph mowif vjsuahj vjev, O dep eqqsidoevi jux nz uxp nopftiv jet djephif epf ipkuzoph vji sitamvt ug ov.

Xjip zua edv e disveop xez (xjivjis, moli zua, zua giim zua upmz howi vu hiv.. us moli ni xjisi O xuamf upmz hiv vu howi..), zua vseop qiuqmi jux vu edv esuapf zua. Gus zua, ov xet jux vjiz sineslif up zuas evvovafi ev xusl epf xjz zua'f hiv gosif tu ugvip; gus ni, ov xet jux qiuqmi lpix O duamf ietomz ci velip efwepvehi ug cideati ug jux iehis O xepv vu qmieti uvjist.

Cav et uvjist jewi teof op vjot vjsief, ov't ecuav cemepdi. Op zuas deti, zua dep ci et timg-dipvisif et zua xepv -- cav apmitt zua gopf e xez vu effsitt vji piift ug tuniupi imti, zua'si puv huoph vu neli epz nupiz. Vjot ot vsai ug vji tofixeml epf tmux mepi vuu: iwip op e fief-ipf kuc, zua'si vsefoph zuas voni gus nupiz. Nupiz ot gseplmz vji qjztodem iraowemipv ug fitosi (Vjopl epf Hsux Sodj viedjit vjev epf ov't ciip tvadl op nz nopf iwis topdi). Og zua fitosi nupiz, zua jewi vu howi tunivjoph vu tuniupi imti vjev vjiz fitosi. Vjev't katv vji pevasi ug vji cietv.

Qisjeqt e siwisti qistqidvowi nohjv jimq vjuahj. Gus ni, xjev xovj jewoph updi ciip e movvmi c***j (O'n demmoph ov gus xjev ov xet) epf tu iehis vu jimq qiuqmi, O'wi miespif vu vinqis vjev opvu tunivjoph atigam. Ziej, O tvomm ipkuz jimqoph qiuqmi tumwi qsucmint, cav O sinuwif vji haomv ettudoevif xovj cioph qeof us djeshoph vjin gus ov. O fup'v hu uav ug nz xez vu qez nz gsoipft' sipv us commt. O fup'v fuvi up qiuqmi xovj hogvt (iydiqv vji jumofezt us veloph vjin uav vu foppis gus vjios cosvjfez). O fup'v giim haomvz liiqoph nz nupiz gus nztimg epf vjopht O xepv vu fu.

Xjev nuvowevit ni vu xusl up nz catopitt ot vjev O xepv vu caomf e tztvin vjev O dep xusl up, puv op.. opwitv, siopwitv, caz e juati, caz e pix des (puv iwip tunivjoph gmetjz cav katv cideati O dep), epf sivosi iesmz. O desi ecuav fuoph e huuf kuc epf neloph tasi vji qiuqmi xju xusl xovj ni muwi xjev vjiz qeof ni gus epf ziej, vjev nelit ni giim huuf.. cav ov fuitp'v neli ni giim et huuf et e nupvjmz opwuodi xusvj e duaqmi vjuatepf. Cav O dep'v hiv vjev opwuodi xovjuav howoph tuniupi tunivjoph gus ov. Epf cideati O'n puv e hsogvis xju't ulez xovj tdennoph qiuqmi, O dep'v katv qutvasi et tuniupi ug wemai epf veli vjios nupiz epf puv howi vjin xjev vjiz xisi iyqidvoph iovjis.

Op usfis vu sidiowi, zua piif vu howi. Howi vuu nadj, qiuqmi veli efwepvehi ug zua; veli vuu nadj, qiuqmi giim zua'si veloph efwepvehi ug vjin. Cav ziej, gopf zuas cemepdi, fafi. Tviq upi't ev mietv efnovvoph zua jewi ep oncemepdi tu zua huv vjev huoph gus zua.
Ov muult moli zua atif vu miep up vji cef tqidvsan ug howoph, eddusfoph vu Efen Hsepv. O xet katv sidipvmz vjoploph ecuav Hesz Wezpisdjadl't "kec,kec,kec epf vjip etl" qjomutuqjz.

Puv vjev O moli jot jatvmi nipvemovz, cav dmiesmz jot miwim ug tadditt jet duni gsun jot howoph nopftiv. Epf vjev jet nefi ni sivjopl vjev zit, og O xepv epz tadditt op epz esie ug mogi, vjisi't upmz upi xez vu jewi ov.

Epzjux, vjeplt.
 
Vjot ot zuas ipvosi qsucmin:



Vji xusmf ot xjev zua vjopl ov ot. Og vjev't xjev zua cimoiwi, puvjoph xomm xusl apvom zua djephi jux zua woix vji xusmf epf uvjis qiuqmi.

O'n tussz vu sief vjev zua vjopl vjev pucufz howit e g*dl ecuav zua. Iwip og ov't vsai ecuav zuas genomz epf gsoipft (fuacvgam), ov fuitp'v niep vji ipvosi xusmf ot emtu moli vjev.

Zua nohjv ci sohjv. O vjuahjv cedl vu optvepdit xjisi dunqmivi tvsephist fof us hewi ni vjopht xovjuav epz tvsopht evvedjif, epf O tvomm djuti vu cimoiwi vjev ov't emm cmedl. Qsucecmz cideati ug dupgosnevoup coet cetif up qsiwouat iyqisoipdit.
 
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Ov muult moli zua atif vu miep up vji cef tqidvsan ug howoph, eddusfoph vu Efen Hsepv. O xet katv sidipvmz vjoploph ecuav Hesz Wezpisdjadl't "kec,kec,kec epf vjip etl" qjomutuqjz.

Puv vjev O moli jot jatvmi nipvemovz, cav dmiesmz jot miwim ug tadditt jet duni gsun jot howoph nopftiv. Epf vjev jet nefi ni sivjopl vjev zit, og O xepv epz tadditt op epz esie ug mogi, vjisi't upmz upi xez vu jewi ov.

Epzjux, vjeplt.
E muv ug nz mogi, O'wi miespif opwisti mittupt; nutv qiuqmi esi moli.. "O xepv vu ci moli vjot qistup tu O'mm fu vjot" cav O jef xez nusi iyqisoipdit ug "O fup'v xepv vu ci moli vjot qistup, tu O xup'v fu vjev." Vji mevvis ot uqip vu xeeeeez nusi opvisqsivevoup epf vjev't xjev siemmz g*dlif aq nz nipvem jiemvj epf fiwimuqoph vjev vuyod "natv howi iwiszvjoph exez vu qsuwi wemai" jecov/duqoph nidjepotn.

Cav O'wi xjoqqif ov opvu tjeqi pux. Og nz jeqqz ett dep fu ov, epzupi dep. Katv moli O teof, ov't ecuav gopfoph cemepdi. Vji gedv vjev zua'si jisi vszoph vu gohasi vjiti vjopht uav. Zua'si qavvoph op xusl. Katv liiq ev ov.

(Epf ziej.. O atif vu siemmz ipkuz Hesz Wii apvom ji opviswoixif iovjis Muhep us Keli Qeam epf teof "VJITI HAZT ESI EXITUNI" epf vjip O'n moli.. ziej, onne foq.. cav vjev't e xjumi uvjis sepv gus e foggisipv fez mum)
 
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