How to tap into your inner Badass

[Gymjunkie]

This a great article that every man should read. It will help to bring in the leader in you and a better man in general...

Let’s face it, everyone wants to be a “badass.†The type of person that is unafraid to live how they want, totally free from restraint.
But is it really possible to learn how to be a badass? That’s supposed to be something you’re born with, right? I don’t think so. I think everyone has an inner, alter-ego badass, waiting to be unleashed.
All you have to do is practice letting it out. And I’m about to show you how to do that.
But first let’s take a look at…

The Validity of the Badass

Here’s what makes the badass trait so desirable:

• A badass has an “I don’t give a damn†attitude. They seem to live on their own terms, free from the social constraints that leave others feeling inhibited. Their careless attitude may seem like they really don’t care about anything, but they realize that by not caring about things that don’t matter, they liberate themselves.
• Badasses are natural leaders. Confidence naturally builds trust in others. If others are uncertain, but you are 100% certain, they’ll gravitate toward you.
• Badasses get what they want. They put themselves first and in doing so, unabashedly seek out and attain what they desire. This is actually a highly positive trait to have, as long as you don’t use or manipulate others to get what you want.
• They don’t tolerate BS. They don’t have low self-esteem. Therefore, they have no need to tolerate bullsh**.
• Excitement. This is, hands down, the most coveted trait of them all. Badasses, renegades, outliers, whatever you want to call them, live on the edge. They’re not afraid to take risks or break the rules. Their fearlessness enables them to ignore the so-called practical requirements for living the masses prescribe to. Badasses realize that most rules are really just agreements. They don’t agree that life needs to be dull, boring, drudgery. Therefore, they take risks and choose endeavors that would make others cringe.

But the most catalytic factor between the badass and the average citizen is this:
Regular People Exist, Badasses Live

Badasses arrive at the grave thoroughly used up. They aren’t afraid to speak their mind or take a risk for something they believe in. The faint at heart think about taking action toward their dreams, but this type of man wastes no time hesitating.
As I said earlier, I think everyone has an inner badass. Whether yours is dormant or stirring, I think we could all be well-served to connect with this side of ourselves.
Below are some strategies for tapping into your inner rebel without a cause. But remember, the most desirable trait is living on your own terms. So follow these rules or break them; they’re your agreements.

1. Say what you mean. Don’t beat around the bush. Use strong, powerful language. Avoid words like “try,†“maybe,†and “someday.†Replace them with “will,†“of course,†and “absolutely.†Also avoid using politically correct language. Don’t dumb down your words. If you want to say “shell shockâ€, say it! Don’t say “post traumatic stress disorder.â€
2. Question authority. One of the oldest living renegades, Siddhartha Gautama (also known as the Buddha) once said “Do not believe anything that you’ve been told, unless it agrees with your own common sense.†The same advice applies 2,000 years later. Listen to yourself first, before you listen to the experts.
3. Be independent. Don’t rely on anyone else to tell you that something is possible, and don’t seek anyone else’s permission to do what you want. You may work synergistically within your tribe, but your sense of self does not depend on it. Your independence means that you are firmly rooted enough in your self that you don’t seek validation externally.
4. Don’t tolerate BS. A renegade may be a showman and occasionally embellish circumstances, but keeping it real always comes first. The more you give into pretense and duplicity, the more you become fake. A badass may have a flare for the dramatic, but he is by no means counterfeit.
5. Push your threshold of uncertainty. A true badass is not afraid of taking risks. Though he may have fears, he acts in spite of them. He knows that giving into fear is the mind killer. The more you give into fear, the more you give away ownership of your mind. To cultivate the renegade mindset, you must accustom yourself to act in spite of uncertainty. You’re not afraid to steer off the highway and engage in unexplored terrain.
6. Face reality head on. You don’t shirk away from responsibility. While most people are whining about their problems, you see challenges as opportunities to improve and grow.
7. Do what you want. This is crucial and really ties into the other six points. When you’ve fully embraced and in tune with your inner bad-a$$, you develop a life that is incredibly awesome. You know that most rules are social agreements, so you have no problem pursuing your passions while everyone else is complaining that it’s not practical. You know that you create your own reality, so you decide what’s practical and what isn’t. You realize that doing what you want is mostly a matter of discovering an intersection of your deep passion and the world’s deep need. You find out how to use your unique gifts (strengths) and brain malfunctions (flaws) as opportunities to market yourself. You figure out ways to get paid to exist.

These are just a few of the major traits I’ve discovered of the quintessential bad-a$$. Remember, even if you think you’re shy or you’re not made out for the prolific life, that’s just your ego talking.
Your inner renegade is in there, waiting to be unleashed.

Link to it:
How to Tap Into Your Inner Badass
Cheers

 

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[Salinger]

This is good but, I feel, lacks a few traits I'd like to see. I can imagine someone taking this as license to be a jerk. Even though that's not quite what it says, I think it could be read that way.

Here's what I would add:
Honor your commitments - do what you say you're going to do (I would put this ahead of "do what you want.")
and
Treat others fairly and with respect (some people may prove they don't deserve your respect, but still be fair.)

These may not be "badass" traits, but it's unlikely that doing these would diminish your badass status in any way.

 

[Salinger]

This thread has evolved in a interesting direction. I have some thoughts on what I've read:
Runum has made several good points and shared a lot of wisdom.
GymJunkie is, understandably, exploring what it means to be a man.

Being a "real man" has very little to do with muscles and intimidation and being cocky (I know you didn't say this, but this is a prevalent belief among young men). Some of the most gentle men I know are very manly and very tough. That toughness is on the inside, where it counts. They treat others kindly because they know who they are and know their own inner strength.

Most people, throughout their 20's, change their outlook on life by several degrees about once a year. It's a normal process in figuring out how the world works, and how they fit with the world. My guess is that your attitudes will change over time, especially as you acquire new experiences. You will probably become less chauvinistic. Knowing more women, particularly a few strong ones, will change your attitude about who they are and their role in society and your life. The toughness of women will absolutely astound you someday - talk about badass!

Getting married and having children will (and should) change your priorities completely. Using your manliness/badassness to better the world should, at that point, begin at home with your own family and expand from there. If you're single, change the world however you like, but once the family comes along, understand that your focus will shift toward home.

I would argue that being a true man (and husband and father) is much more challenging than simply being a "badass."

 

[Runum]

I am actually from a family that has divorced and haven't had the attention from dad as much as I wanted so I agree. Kinda. But you take it to an extreme. What I mean is to manage all things in life, no doubt you can't leave kids without dad's attention.

I may take it to an extreme, but your original post can be taken to an extreme as well. My extreme is backed up by statistics of broken families and personal experience. Too many men not taking care of business.

I agree with you, if you want to set the world on fire on your terms do it. However, once you walk down that aisle and say "I do" you are making a pledge. Once you decide to make woopie you are accepting the responsibilities in case you are also making babies. When you do those two things you are voluntarily changing your commitments. If you don't want to change your commitments, then don't. Once you have made those commitments, honor them. It's just that simple to me.

 

[Runum]

Since when contributing to the world is fierce self-importance? Also keeping your integrity (your values).. how is that selfish?

I ask not to say you are an idiot, but because I know most of the people don't get what I want to communicate and I wonder if it is my fault as in bad communication skills. For me it looks like this paradigm that I have is way way different from most people and they can't relate to it and understand it..

BTW, if there was 3rd World War suddenly and you had to choose you go to defend your country and risk deaf (automatically leaving your spouse and kids a lone) or you you don't go. What would you do in this case?

Good question. To me there is a difference between what is written and what is real life. Most of the guys I know that would classify themselves as badass are completely self absorbed jerks. They are loud, obnoxious, and more of the a$$ than badass. They use up and spit out everyone around them. They are kind and generous only if it benefits them directly. They talk about the great things they do for everyone and even their family. They have to talk themselves up because no one else will. They are true legends in their own mind.

The guys I would consider true men are much more quiet. They are more the definition of a gentleman. They are often spoken of very well by people that know them. They know where their priorities and obligiations are and they take care of business.

As far as war goes, that is an extreme. First, I doubt that anyone would want me on their fighting line but I'll go if needed. Second, a war would be something that was thrust on me and wouldn't be my choice. I would still do what I could to make sure my wife and kids were taken care of first(financially, homestead, life insurance, support people).

Thanks for the polite discussion. Could you tell me if you are married or have children of your own?

Me? I'll be 50 later this year and married 24 years with one kid. I have walked out of several meetings to take care of my kid. I even walked out on a well known radio talk show personality because my kid was playing in a concert. I know the reason I do all of what I do is to make mine and my families life better. It wouldn't be better for me to skip out of her life to work.

 

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[AroundTheWorld]

wow....

First of all, are you talking man - as in human? Or is this man, as in male? If it is second, Gymjunkie, I'm curious about your take on women.

Secondly, I too am curious about your home life? Are you married? Do you ever plan to marry? Do you have children?

Thirdly - now that I have those little pesky questions out of the way (you don't have to answer them - for some reason I just felt compelled to ask them) I'll move on to my reaction to these two views.

Ummm. Why do you have to choose? There is nothing more satisfying in the world than sharing your mission, your values and your passions with your family.

Which will make a bigger impact on the world:

1) Digging a well and building a school.
2) Going with your spouse and children to dig a well and build a school.

Teach a child to have compassion, to give, and to fully participate in this world and you have changed the world.

 

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[Russ H]

Gymjunkie-

Full disclosure: I was not interested in being a dad in my teens.

Or my 20s.

Or, most of my 30s.

I grew up w/2 parents who did not like kids (they told us this).

They liked each other, but didn't really enjoy living together.

But they stuck together for us (their kids).

They got divorced as soon as my brother hit 16.

Once I got out of the house, I didn't see much value in marriage, or being a parent.

(makes sense, right?)

Then I started to notice all of the incredible families and parents around me-- my friends, clients-- they were really having a great time. And they were blown away that I wasn't a dad, or interested in being one.

I was interested in making my mark.

You might call it being a badass (it kinda fits a lot of your quote above).

From my mid 20s to early 40s, I became one of the top screening room/home theater designers in the entire world.

Lived my dreams:

Spent time at Dolby Labs, Lucasfilm . . . met directors, producers, and the guys that made movie sound (my heroes).

Installed home theaters, or consulted for, rock stars, celebs, and big time venture caps.

A few billionaires, too.

Worked side by side w/Disney Imagineers (I was the Project Designer of an exhibit in Epcot).

Wrote as a regular columnist for 3 magazines (I was featured every month).

Developed the first design and installation guidelines for the home theater industry.

Even invented a few things.

My design work was featured in over 130 newspapers and magazines. Stuff like the Wall St Journal (4x), NY Times, LA Times, Robb Report (7x), Audio Video Interiors (cover story multiple times, they even featured my own home on the cover once), This Old House magazine, Home, Home and Garden, Metropolitan Home, Elle Decor, Arch Digest, Architectural Record . . . was featured in a 1/2 hour HGTV/FIne Living episode . . .

You get the idea.

Gave it all up to get married and have kids.

Why?

Industry was changing. But-- more importantly-- I was changing.

Having a wife and a family were now more important to me than devoting all of my time and skills to making home theater an everyday word (a trend and not a fad, if you will).

On that, I felt like I'd succeeded.

**********

Oh, and I never went into it to be a badass.

Or to have respect.

Or for any of the other reasons listed in your OP.

I did it to help others-- specifically, to help folks enjoy watching movies-- and to help my colleagues learn the craft (I personally taught over 1,500 home theater installers how to design/install home theaters, over a period of about 15 years).

I did it to grow the industry-- make it a healthy, living thing.

Not bragging-- just showing you that a "badass" can change their mission.

Taking care of their family becomes their mission.

Wanna know something really weird?

When I was 20, a few of my friends w/kids told me about this 'family' stuff.

I thought they were full of sh*t. Truth.

-Russ H.

 

[LagunaLauren]

I gotta agree with most of the other responses to this post. While I admire commitment, goals, dedication, etc., I do think admirable qualities, commitment and respect are derived from more than selfish egotistical, typically traditional "badass" pursuits. Success is widely admired, but moreso when it's achieved through values and morals associated with more than yourself. I also achieved success and goals, becoming a self-made millionaire by 28, becoming a VP Creative Director for the largest independently-owned ad agency in the world by the time I was 30. Retiring 2 years ago at age 35, etc. While success is great, and I committed to my goals, nothing compares to the commitment I have to my family. My kids do come first. My commitment is to them before it is to me. I am compounding my successes and my wealth not as much for me as much as that I want to be ridiculously philanthropic and leave a legacy of charity that outlasts me and my children. Maybe that doesn't make me a badass, but I live with pride and integrity and respect. Oh, and I'm a woman. (Not sure that "How To Be A Man" should be on your reading list as much as biographies of badasses that achieved ridiculous levels of success and philanthropy and commitment to family, like Richard Branson of Virgin Atlantic, etc.)

 

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[Russ H]

Gymjunkie-

Others like Sparlin and Runum have explained themselves far better than me.

I keep trying to say stuff, but it's not coming out right.

When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I wanted to be a 'badass' in many ways (by your definition):

-I wanted to live on their own terms, free from the social constraints that keft others feeling inhibited.

-I wanted to exude confidence (I had low self esteeem).

-I wanted to get whatever it was that I wanted.

-I didn't tolerate BS.

-Above all, I wanted excitement, and a feeling of fulfillment in my life.

These are all pretty natural needs/wants when you first get out on your own. You are becoming an individual-- charting your own course, and figuring out life-- or what 'life' means for you.

I wouldn't call this being a 'badass'-- more growing up.

Girls and guys both go through this, BTW. Everyone does it a bit different-- but the desire to become an individual is the same.

I think perhaps that's where our disagreements are coming from on this thread-- you may define these characteristics as being a badass-- but we see it as normal growing up.

To many of us, a badass is someone who is mean or beligerant.

It's the classic movie hero-- does what they want, doesn't care who dies or gets hurt.

Gets their way, or hurts people to get there.

Doesn't give a sh*t about hurting others' feelings.

******

I'm not saying that's *your* definition-- but that's what I think of when I hear the term "badass".

******

-Russ H.

********

 

[Gymjunkie]

This is good but, I feel, lacks a few traits I'd like to see. I can imagine someone taking this as license to be a jerk. Even though that's not quite what it says, I think it could be read that way.

Here's what I would add:
Honor your commitments - do what you say you're going to do (I would put this ahead of "do what you want.")
and
Treat others fairly and with respect (some people may prove they don't deserve your respect, but still be fair.)

These may not be "badass" traits, but it's unlikely that doing these would diminish your badass status in any way.

Agreed! Nice additions.. Speed+

 

[Runum]

Two of those biggest commitments are to your spouse and kids. Honor those and you are Badass.

 

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[Gymjunkie]

Two of those biggest commitments are to your spouse and kids. Honor those and you are Badass.

I personally think there is one bigger commitment (or at least should be for each man) than relationship. It is to have a mission, huge goal in life that is your main goal. A great vision that can change the world for the better. Also, you should have values that are impeccable (if it's the right term) and which you wouldn't change or betray for anything! Not to demean spouse or kids though.. I just think man should be committed to something bigger than himself or his relationships.

 

[Runum]

I personally think there is one bigger commitment (or at least should be for each man) than relationship. It is to have a mission, huge goal in life that is your main goal. A great vision that can change the world for the better. Also, you should have values that are impeccable (if it's the right term) and which you wouldn't change or betray for anything! Not to demean spouse or kids though.. I just think man should be committed to something bigger than himself or his relationships.

I guess we are gonna agree and disagree here. I'm also guessing you're not married and are not a father.

I see too many men running around "pursuing their bigger interests" and leaving kids all over the place. You cannot say you are changing the world for the better if you can't or won't take care of your own. If you're not man enough to man up, don't get married and keep peter in the pocket.

If you don't see what I see then look at all the young children who don't have engaged dad's. Look them in the eye and tell them that your daddy is out making the world better.

 

[Gymjunkie]

I guess we are gonna agree and disagree here.

I see too many men running around "pursuing their bigger interests" and leaving kids all over the place. You cannot say you are changing the world for the better if you can't or won't take care of your own. If you're not man enough to man up, don't get married and keep peter in the pocket.

If you don't see what I see then look at all the young children who don't have engaged dad's. Look them in the eye and tell them that your daddy is out making the world better.

I am actually from a family that has divorced and haven't had the attention from dad as much as I wanted so I agree. Kinda. But you take it to an extreme. What I mean is to manage all things in life, no doubt you can't leave kids without dad's attention.

 

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[Gymjunkie]

I think this quote will illustrate what I mean best since it opened my eyes originally:

2. Put your relationships second.

A man who claims his #1 commitment in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either too dishonest or too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.

A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not willing to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility that comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate his own values.

Life will test the man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles. The man will be offered many temptations to expose his true loyalties. A man’s greatest reward is to live with integrity, and his greatest punishment is what he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above his integrity. Whenever the man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He becomes an object of pity. - Steve Pavlina from an article on How to Be a Man

 

[Gymjunkie]

I may take it to an extreme, but your original post can be taken to an extreme as well. My extreme is backed up by statistics of broken families and personal experience. Too many men not taking care of business.

I agree with you, if you want to set the world on fire on your terms do it. However, once you walk down that aisle and say "I do" you are making a pledge. Once you decide to make woopie you are accepting the responsibilities in case you are also making babies. When you do those two things you are voluntarily changing your commitments. If you don't want to change your commitments, then don't. Once you have made those commitments, honor them. It's just that simple to me.

Honoring these commitments doesn't mean you can't do something else... But still, one needs to learn how to balance two things.

 

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[Runum]

Honoring these commitments doesn't mean you can't do something else... But still, one needs to learn how to balance two things.

On that we can agree, balance. I didn't get a sense of balance from your original post. I got a sense of fierce self importance. Maybe I misread it.

 

[Gymjunkie]

On that we can agree, balance. I didn't get a sense of balance from your original post. I got a sense of fierce self importance. Maybe I misread it.

Since when contributing to the world is fierce self-importance? Also keeping your integrity (your values).. how is that selfish?

I ask not to say you are an idiot, but because I know most of the people don't get what I want to communicate and I wonder if it is my fault as in bad communication skills. For me it looks like this paradigm that I have is way way different from most people and they can't relate to it and understand it..

BTW, if there was 3rd World War suddenly and you had to choose you go to defend your country and risk deaf (automatically leaving your spouse and kids a lone) or you you don't go. What would you do in this case?

 

[Russ H]

Simple solution, guys.

If you want to put your mission first, don't get married and have kids.

Choose a significant other who is OK with being a second banana to your mission.

But don't take the vows, or make babies, and tell yourself that you have a greater mission in life.

A gentle suggestion:

Read the bios of every great industrialist, politician, and inventor you can, Gymjunkie.

(or if you're not a reader, watch the Biography channel)

My guess is you will be absolutely stunned at what they considered their greatest achievement-- their most important accomplishment in life.

I certainly was.

-Russ H.

 

[Runum]

Simple solution, guys.

If you want to put your mission first, don't get married and have kids.

Choose a significant other who is OK with being a second banana to your mission.

But don't take the vows, or make babies, and tell yourself that you have a greater mission in life.

A gentle suggestion:

Read the bios of every great industrialist, politician, and inventor you can, Gymjunkie.

(or if you're not a reader, watch the Biography channel)

My guess is you will be absolutely stunned at what they considered their greatest achievement-- their most important accomplishment in life.

I certainly was.

-Russ H.

Thanks for the summation Russ.:cheers:

 

[Russ H]

Another 'badass' who became a dad:

Legacy Dad: Welcome to Legacy Dad

(a Psyops Ranger)

-Russ H.

 

[Gymjunkie]

Good question. To me there is a difference between what is written and what is real life. Most of the guys I know that would classify themselves as badass are completely self absorbed jerks. They are loud, obnoxious, and more of the a$$ than badass. They use up and spit out everyone around them. They are kind and generous only if it benefits them directly. They talk about the great things they do for everyone and even their family. They have to talk themselves up because no one else will. They are true legends in their own mind.

The guys I would consider true men are much more quiet. They are more the definition of a gentleman. They are often spoken of very well by people that know them. They know where their priorities and obligiations are and they take care of business.

As far as war goes, that is an extreme. First, I doubt that anyone would want me on their fighting line but I'll go if needed. Second, a war would be something that was thrust on me and wouldn't be my choice. I would still do what I could to make sure my wife and kids were taken care of first(financially, homestead, life insurance, support people).

Thanks for the polite discussion. Could you tell me if you are married or have children of your own?

Me? I'll be 50 later this year and married 24 years with one kid. I have walked out of several meetings to take care of my kid. I even walked out on a well known radio talk show personality because my kid was playing in a concert. I know the reason I do all of what I do is to make mine and my families life better. It wouldn't be better for me to skip out of her life to work.

Again, people seem to not get what "badass" means in OP. It's not being a jerk it's being unafraid to live how you want and how others tell you. And once you start doing that you will be called an a$$ actually and most of them people might even think you are selfish. In personal life, I recently started to not really care about what others think about me, about all that small talk etc, I have a different opinion on life and tend to not tolerate a lot of BS (although I still have to learn about this) and well, I am called selfish for this. But I just don't care about stuff that doesn't matter, not about other people. And I am bad guy in some people's eyes.. This is what OP is about in my opinion.


I am not married. Just a 21 years old guy! I want to be married and have kids but not now.

 

[Gymjunkie]

Simple solution, guys.

If you want to put your mission first, don't get married and have kids.

Choose a significant other who is OK with being a second banana to your mission.

But don't take the vows, or make babies, and tell yourself that you have a greater mission in life.

A gentle suggestion:

Read the bios of every great industrialist, politician, and inventor you can, Gymjunkie.

(or if you're not a reader, watch the Biography channel)

My guess is you will be absolutely stunned at what they considered their greatest achievement-- their most important accomplishment in life.

I certainly was.

-Russ H.

People should find a balance which is hard to do. It is possible to do that, plus your significant other must be supportive of your mission, if not you shouldn't marry her/him in the first place..

Oh I love reading biographies of successful people..

 

[Gymjunkie]

wow....

First of all, are you talking man - as in human? Or is this man, as in male? If it is second, Gymjunkie, I'm curious about your take on women.

Secondly, I too am curious about your home life? Are you married? Do you ever plan to marry? Do you have children?

Thirdly - now that I have those little pesky questions out of the way (you don't have to answer them - for some reason I just felt compelled to ask them) I'll move on to my reaction to these two views.

Ummm. Why do you have to choose? There is nothing more satisfying in the world than sharing your mission, your values and your passions with your family.

Which will make a bigger impact on the world:

1) Digging a well and building a school.
2) Going with your spouse and children to dig a well and build a school.

Teach a child to have compassion, to give, and to fully participate in this world and you have changed the world.

I think mission in general is more important for men but there are such women too.. The quote is about being a Man so mostly it's about men though..

Women? Love them! Wonderful creatures (although capable of bad things too). Support of a woman is wonderful thing and is according to some the best help there can be to achieve one's goals.
And I agree with second part, why not share. I am talking about this already BUT I still say that while it is incredibly important it is not the most important thing. Bu they, I might change the views once I have family...

 

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[Gymjunkie]

I gotta agree with most of the other responses to this post. While I admire commitment, goals, dedication, etc., I do think admirable qualities, commitment and respect are derived from more than selfish egotistical, typically traditional "badass" pursuits. Success is widely admired, but moreso when it's achieved through values and morals associated with more than yourself. I also achieved success and goals, becoming a self-made millionaire by 28, becoming a VP Creative Director for the largest independently-owned ad agency in the world by the time I was 30. Retiring 2 years ago at age 35, etc. While success is great, and I committed to my goals, nothing compares to the commitment I have to my family. My kids do come first. My commitment is to them before it is to me. I am compounding my successes and my wealth not as much for me as much as that I want to be ridiculously philanthropic and leave a legacy of charity that outlasts me and my children. Maybe that doesn't make me a badass, but I live with pride and integrity and respect. Oh, and I'm a woman. (Not sure that "How To Be A Man" should be on your reading list as much as biographies of badasses that achieved ridiculous levels of success and philanthropy and commitment to family, like Richard Branson of Virgin Atlantic, etc.)

That "How to be a Man" post should be in most men reading lists, men have gotten such wimps.. I know cuz I've been earlier in my life too...
You are a woman, I'd have no respect for you if kids came second for you. There is something wrong with a woman who doesn't love kids and nurturing.

And I've read Bransons biography, he does care about his family much and is thankful and appreciative of them, but still, he has missed a lot of time with family, with kids..he can't always be there cuz he has tons of stuff to do..

You also misunderstand in what sense a word "badass" is used here..

 

[Gymjunkie]

**********

Oh, and I never went into it to be a badass.

Or to have respect.

Or for any of the other reasons listed in your OP.

I did it to help others-- specifically, to help folks enjoy watching movies-- and to help my colleagues learn the craft (I personally taught over 1,500 home theater installers how to design/install home theaters, over a period of about 15 years).

I did it to grow the industry-- make it a healthy, living thing.

Not bragging-- just showing you that a "badass" can change their mission.

Taking care of their family becomes their mission.


-Russ H.

I still think you did some if not all things from this list on your way to success! And that is not bad..

 

[Runum]

Glad to see you are still here Adrian. Many people would have gotten hacked off and not come back. I think what we have here is a failure to communicate. I looked through the post at the link. I also followed that post back to the original poster. I do mean no offense here, but you guys are a different group and are speaking to a different audience. Your audience is single young men. Good for you. However, that's not the majority audience of active participants here. As a result, the same blog will not work here.

A main part of blogging, writing, and public speaking is know your audience.

Now, when you ever buy and manage rental real estate, come back and tell me about not tolerating a lot of BS. A lot of real estate books have been written about that same thing, "Don't put up with a lot of BS." Great in theory.
Problem is, when you are in business and your business involves people, there will be BS. It just comes with the territory. You will not change people. You will have to change yourself or you will be in jail, mental institution, or out of business. That's just my experience.

 

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[Gymjunkie]

Glad to see you are still here Adrian. Many people would have gotten hacked off and not come back. I think what we have here is a failure to communicate. I looked through the post at the link. I also followed that post back to the original poster. I do mean no offense here, but you guys are a different group and are speaking to a different audience. Your audience is single young men. Good for you. However, that's not the majority audience of active participants here. As a result, the same blog will not work here.

A main part of blogging, writing, and public speaking is know your audience.

Now, when you ever buy and manage rental real estate, come back and tell me about not tolerating a lot of BS. A lot of real estate books have been written about that same thing, "Don't put up with a lot of BS." Great in theory.
Problem is, when you are in business and your business involves people, there will be BS. It just comes with the territory. You will not change people. You will have to change yourself or you will be in jail, mental institution, or out of business. That's just my experience.

I understand not everyone will agree with my opinion, but I still express it (that's a nice exercise actually for those who are afraid to get criticism). Anyone can critique me as long as they keep it respectful and constructive. I am open for change. But I can defend my opinion (and defend it hard sometimes ).

As for that blog, yeah, it's not for this audience but still the article is still universal enough for those who can see patterns in life ( I tend to..). Cuz the truth is, I don't care if you are rockstar, basketball player, real estate agent, entrepreneur, best nanny of the world or best cleaner of the world, once you choose your topic, your specialty and decide to become successful at it, you will have to learn the same stuff as everyone (control emotions, persist, deal with people, etc,etc...).. So people should really look deeper into things...

BTW, that post of How to be a Man is from totally different blog. So my stance on priorities is not based on Badass article

As for BS, I think it is still possible not to take but it's damn hard... Other people get offended if you talk straight sometimes as they can't handle it. You can get a lot of heat for it, but still gotta keep BS to a minimum. Plus, seeing how much BS your business partner tells is a good indication of whether you should or shouldn't partner with him (that's from my experience as I tend to stay away from those who look for excuses and other BS)... It's like a filter

 

[Gymjunkie]

This thread has evolved in a interesting direction. I have some thoughts on what I've read:
Runum has made several good points and shared a lot of wisdom.
GymJunkie is, understandably, exploring what it means to be a man.

Being a "real man" has very little to do with muscles and intimidation and being cocky (I know you didn't say this, but this is a prevalent belief among young men). Some of the most gentle men I know are very manly and very tough. That toughness is on the inside, where it counts. They treat others kindly because they know who they are and know their own inner strength.

Most people, throughout their 20's, change their outlook on life by several degrees about once a year. It's a normal process in figuring out how the world works, and how they fit with the world. My guess is that your attitudes will change over time, especially as you acquire new experiences. You will probably become less chauvinistic. Knowing more women, particularly a few strong ones, will change your attitude about who they are and their role in society and your life. The toughness of women will absolutely astound you someday - talk about badass!

Getting married and having children will (and should) change your priorities completely. Using your manliness/badassness to better the world should, at that point, begin at home with your own family and expand from there. If you're single, change the world however you like, but once the family comes along, understand that your focus will shift toward home.

I would argue that being a true man (and husband and father) is much more challenging than simply being a "badass."

Of course it is, it is just a part of men that has been rejected these days. As I mentioned earlier there are a lot of wimps in the world. And learning to be themselves actually and discovering their "badassness" is necessary if they want to be successful...

As for tough women... if they manage to keep that femininity and be a great mom/business woman then all is good. But I don't like tough women who are masculine and aren't great with kids. I've met both kinds, dated one from the first type even...
I am not chauvinistic ( although a bit I might be), I just see that men need to toughen up.

 

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[Gymjunkie]

Gymjunkie-

Others like Sparlin and Runum have explained themselves far better than me.

I keep trying to say stuff, but it's not coming out right.

When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I wanted to be a 'badass' in many ways (by your definition):

-I wanted to live on their own terms, free from the social constraints that keft others feeling inhibited.

-I wanted to exude confidence (I had low self esteeem).

-I wanted to get whatever it was that I wanted.

-I didn't tolerate BS.

-Above all, I wanted excitement, and a feeling of fulfillment in my life.

These are all pretty natural needs/wants when you first get out on your own. You are becoming an individual-- charting your own course, and figuring out life-- or what 'life' means for you.

I wouldn't call this being a 'badass'-- more growing up.

Girls and guys both go through this, BTW. Everyone does it a bit different-- but the desire to become an individual is the same.

I think perhaps that's where our disagreements are coming from on this thread-- you may define these characteristics as being a badass-- but we see it as normal growing up.

To many of us, a badass is someone who is mean or beligerant.

It's the classic movie hero-- does what they want, doesn't care who dies or gets hurt.

Gets their way, or hurts people to get there.

Doesn't give a sh*t about hurting others' feelings.

******

I'm not saying that's *your* definition-- but that's what I think of when I hear the term "badass".

******

-Russ H.

********

That's the only problem because people are kind scared of that word or something. OP is originally written probably to open people's eyes to different perspective a bit.
Looks like this forum is more mature than others. It is smaller a bit but has way more successful mature people here. Which is great! Glad I joined this one! You pretty much nailed it with this post so Speed+!