How to Spark and Hold a Meaningful Conversation with a Fastlaner

[WealthyMarketer]

Picture this: You find yourself seated in the middle of a large ballroom.

In front of you is a large round dinner table covered with a cheap, partially-washed, white wrinkled tablecloth.

You’re at the latest $10,000-A-Seat “Guru Seminar” at your local Radisson, and it’s the end of Day 1. It’s 7:30PM and your stomach rumbles with hunger.

It’s dinner time.

Your seminar package comes with a “VIP Networking Dinner Event”, which, of course you’re not going to turn up. After all, you took out a title-loan on your car just to be there.

But, like most people who are trying to become Fastlaners but just quite aren’t there yet, you have nothing in common with any of these people. They’re all high energy. They’re all chatting and laughing with each other. They’re probably discussing the latest business deals they’re working on or some new book they’re writing.

However, there you are, sitting at your table, alone.

You sigh to yourself, pull your phone out of your pocket, and open up Candy Crush. After all, what do you have to offer anyone else in this room? You might as well keep working towards the “super-candy-bonus” that’s been eluding you all day.

Suddenly, someone plunks down in the empty chair beside you.

It’s the Guru!

OMG!

You freeze up.

What do you say?

See, when you’re with your friends, it’s comfortable. You talk about the shitty weather or how that damn team lost yet again last night. Any “icebreaker” small-talk will do.

However, that kind of talk is not going to fly with the Guru. Because, as you know:

Fastlaners And Gurus
Don’t Need Broken Ice.​

Mr. Guru just flew in from Santa Barbara a few hours ago and took a limo to the hotel so he could be on time to give his talk. He doesn’t care about the local sports team. He doesn’t care about the storm clouds that are ready to roll in and unleash a vicious hail-storm attack on your poor little town.

What does he care about?

Hell if you knew. You don’t know any Fastlane gurus, at least on a personal level.

How are you feeling right now?

Confused?

Nervous?

Scared?

If so, I have some very good news for you.

I have put together a very simple tool you can use to spark and carry on a meaningful conversation with any Fastlaner.

Anybody who has the ability and the knowhow to read and understand this article has the ability to use this tool.

Properly use this tool on any high-producing Fastlaner, and they’ll give you the time and attention of a high-producing Fastlaner such as themselves…

Even If You’re Currently Nothing More
Than A Broke Sidewalker.​

This tool will help you speak to Gurus. This tool will help you carry on a conversation with someone light-years ahead of you.

[By the way, this is completely erroneous thinking, but that’s for another thread].

I know what you’re thinking:

What Is This Tool
And How Can I Use It?​

This tool consists of three extremely potent and powerful conversational techniques. These techniques can be used by anyone, whether they’re a Sidewalker, Slowlaner, or even a Fastlaner.

However, if used correctly, any one of these techniques can

Make Any Sidewalker
Come Across Like A Fastlaner.​

Here’s the best news of all:

I’m going to reveal all three of these techniques to you right here today at no cost to you!

Interested?

If you are, please go ahead and keep reading.

I present to you here today:

How To Spark And Hold A Meaningful Conversation With A Fastlaner
Even When You're In Over Your Head​

Technique #1: The Psychiatrist Mirror.

Listen.

What did the other person just say?

What was their last meaningful word or phrase?

Now, repeat it back to them.

But, don’t do it robotically. Do it with some feeling or emotion. Inflect upwards to make it seem like a question, or inflect downwards to make it seem like you’re agreeing with them.

For example, if the Guru says, “I’m flying out to Kenya next week to help rebuild a village,” you can respond with: “Rebuild a village?”

If the Guru says, “I’m looking to purchase a summer home,” you can respond with, “ooohhh… a summer home…”

This does two things:

1 - It Makes The Other Person Feel Heard And Understood.

Because you’re reflecting their words (and their feelings and emotions!), they feel like you understand exactly what they’re feeling, seeing, and thinking in their mind’s eye (even though you live in a completely different universe!) This makes them feel acknowledged and accepted.

By doing this, you add value to them (meaning you’re making them feel good, helping them resolve a pain-point, or possibly even solving a problem for them).

2 - It Forces You To Actively Listen To Them.

Most people (myself included) are terrible listeners. Most people care more about themselves than anything else in this world.

So, naturally, even when an important person is sitting there right in front of them, most people are more focused on what they want to say and what they want out of the other person, than actually paying attention to the other person!

One of Stephen Covey’s most famous lines is:

“Most People Do Not Listen With The Intent To Understand;
They Listen With The Intent To Reply.”
​

Think about it: Their mind is on another business they’re starting, another way of providing value to others, or another way of saving the planet. Your mind may be on Sidewalker trivialities such as Monday Night Football or monster trucks. But, the key is, if you keep emphasizing and reflecting the words (and feelings and inflections) the other person uses, they think you live in the same world they do. They think you understand the challenges they’re going through. They think you understand exactly what they’re saying and how they’re feeling.

See, they schmooze with lots of other people. Lots and lots of Sidewalkers and Slowlaners. However, most other people just talk about themselves and attempt to solicit stuff from the Guru.

When you use this technique, you’ll stand out in the Guru’s mind by:

1 - Treating them as a human being, not a hyperreality; and
2 - Actually caring about and focusing on what they’re saying, not what you want out of the conversation.

And, if you do it correctly,

The Guru May Just Categorize You In Their Mind
As A Fastlaner!​

You see, almost everyone out there has something on their mind that they want to talk about. As a conversation partner, it’s your job to draw it out.

***

But, say that you’re no longer at the Guru’s dinner table, but rather, you’re in his Lamborghini Sesto Elemento, and you and him are about to embark out on a 5-hour road trip.

Now what are you going to say?

You can only gawk about his Elemento for so long. Remember, you want to add value to him, not tell him stuff about his car he already knows.

He doesn’t care about your opinion.

He doesn’t care you’re about to wet your pants with excitement and glee.

What does he care about?

Feeling good, solving problems, or making pain-points go away.

He cares about value.

Remember:

Your Only Job On This Planet
Is To Add Value To Others.​

So… how can you do this?

You need a meatier conversation starter.

You need to get him to ramble on and on for hours. You need to know what value he needs and desires most, and what value you can actually give him.

Fortunately for you: I have just the thing.

It’s a thirty-three-word question.

This thirty-three-word baby has helped me open-up many a Fastlaner. Once you hear this question, it’s tough not to want to answer it. It unearths deep and hidden desires. It’ll give you the keys to the Fastlaner’s mind.

Okay, enough. Ready to discover the secret thirty-three-word phrase?

Here you go:

Technique #2: The R-Factor Question.

“If we were to meet here, right here, exactly three years from today, what must have happened both personally and professionally in your life for you to be really happy with your progress?”

[This is also known as the Dan Sullivan Question as he invented the original wording.]

Go ahead and memorize this question.

No, actually do it.

Take out a sheet of paper and a pen, and physically write this question down, word for word.

Now, write it again. And, again.

Do it ten times.

Now, say it out loud. Do it again, with me this time:

“If we were to meet here, right here, exactly three years from today, what must have happened both personally and professionally in your life for you to be really happy with your progress?”

This is a perfect question for you to ask if you know you’re going to be spending quite a bit of time with someone new (a long road trip for instance). If someone really resonates with it, they will literally ramble on for hours. If they shut this question down, you may as well turn on the radio.

Think about what you’re asking? Personally and professionally? Three years from today? Your life?

Talk about a cornucopia of narcissism!

Seriously, who wouldn’t relish the opportunity to endlessly chat about themselves after hearing that question?

Say it again, out loud, one more time:

“If we were to meet here, right here, exactly three years from today, what must have happened both personally and professionally in your life for you to be really happy with your progress?”

Now, it doesn't matter if you slightly mess up the wording. You can use two or four years. You can put “in your life” before “personally and professionally.” The way I have it in here is exactly the way Dan Sullivan teaches it. It works for him, and it works for me, so I keep the wording exactly the way he has it.

[By the way, just in case the curiosity is gnawing at you, the “R” stands for “Relationship.”]

***

So… now you’ve unlocked the Guru. You know exactly what his hopes and desires are. Instead of jumping in and talking about what you can do and what you can offer (or worse, the weather or Jennifer Aniston’s new hairdo), you’ve used the Psychiatrist Mirror to keep him focused on himself and you’ve impressed the hell out of him. However, he’s starting to run out of things to say, and this means you may just be running out of things to ‘reflect’.

What do you do now?

Fortunately for you, I have one more mechanism left to share with you here today.

One more way for you to keep your fellow Fastlaner engaged and interested.

One more way to keep him talking about himself.

And it’s not a thirty-three-word question.

It’s much shorter.

And much more flexible.

Ready?

In school, you probably learnt that there are two types of questions that you can ask someone. You were probably taught that you can ask someone a closed question, or you can ask someone an open question.

[Just in case you need a quick recap, a closed question is a question where a quick one-word response is expected (“What time is it?” “Did you pick up the soap?”), and an open question is a question where a multi-word response is expected (“How was the drive?” “How was the game?”)]

You were probably taught that if you want to create and establish a deep meaningful connection and relationship with another person, open questions are the way to go.

However, here’s the unfortunate truth:

Your Grade-School Teachers
Lied To You​

See, there is a fundamental problem with open questions:

They can easily be shut down with a closed one-word answer!

Want an example? I’ll give you one.

Walk up to any nine-year old in any developed country, and ask them this particular question:

“What did you learn at school today?”

I don’t need to give you their answer, you already know they’re going to say “Nothing!”

What if there was another way you could ask someone a question?

A way that’s near-impossible to shut down?

A way to spark a conversation with someone when you have nothing in common with them?

A way to get the other person to start talking about themselves in cases where there isn’t anything to mirror yet, and a thirty-three-word question may not be appropriate?

Enter…

Technique #3: The Unfoldment Question.

An Unfoldment Question is a question with the word “most” in it, or a word ending in “est”.

Examples:

• What did you like most about UNSCRIPTED ?
• What’s the most profound lesson you learnt from a coach or a mentor?
• Who do you think is the hottest actress on the planet?
• What is your most favorite country?

Asking an Unfoldment Question forces the other person to think. It forces them to “unfold” their mind. It forces them to go through different files and folders from different locations and different time periods in their head.

It forces them to say, “Wow! That’s a great question!”

Fastlaners love to think. They love to think about what happened, what worked, and what didn’t. They love to conceive unconventional solutions to massive problems. They love to think about how they can provide value to others and save the planet. By asking an Unfoldment Question, you give your Fastlaner the opportunity and podium to do just that.

Before I go on, I have a bit of homework for you to do.

In your mind, right now, go ahead and make up an Unfoldment Question.

Now, make up another.

Now, make up one more.

Are you using the word “most” or a word ending in “est”? Good.

See, they’re not that hard to come up with.

What Is The Best Unfoldment Question
I Can Ask A Fastlaner?​

Unfoldment Questions are easy to quickly conceive, that is, if you practice often enough.

But, I get it. Sometimes, you become so enamored with the Guru’s hyperreality, you forget about what you’re doing. Don’t worry, it happens to me too. Fortunately, I have for you here an acronym you can use to quickly come up with an Unfoldment Question in a pinch:

Remember this word:

FORM

Family and Friends

Ask them Unfoldment Questions about their friends and family. For example:

• What is the most profound lesson you learnt from your father?
• What is the most memorable thing your daughter did?

Occupation

• What’s the one thing you did that had the biggest impact on someone’s life?
• What’s the most valuable thing you do that you wish more people knew you did?

Recreation

• What’s your most favorite country to travel to?
• Who’s the most interesting person you’ve ever met while you were on vacation?

Message

Message in this case refers to your message as it relates to what you’re selling. So, for example, if you hawk used cars, you can ask:

• “What do you like most about your current ride?”
• “What aftermarket add-ons excite you most?”

Sidewalkers and Slowlaners also love answering this style of question. They love giving long, drawn out opinions. As long as you ask them a suitable question, this is a good way to get them to mindlessly ramble on while you plan your getaway:

• “Who do you think is the best player on Team X?”
• “Who do you think is going to win the most Oscars this year?”
• “What do you think the Government could be doing better?”

Personally, I don’t like asking negative questions. I work extremely hard at maintaining a positive mental attitude. Having a PMA affords me the ability to provide much more value to others, and it’s better for my health as well. However, do what works best for you. Feel free to go ahead and ask Sidewalkers and Slowlaners negative questions such as “What do you hate most about the Government” and “Which player pisses you off most”, but it’s just not my style.

And, for most Fastlaners, it’s not their style either.

***

Alright, there you have it. Three simple techniques for you to use to spark and hold a meaningful conversation with a Fastlaner, even when you’re in over your head.

Now what?

Go out there and use them. Go ask someone the R-Factor question. Go ask someone else an Unfoldment Question. Show them that you’re truly listening to them by mirroring the most important words or phrases they’re saying and using.

Remember: AAA. Act, Assess, Adjust.

***

Thank you for being such a supportive reader. I know how precious your time truly is, and I really appreciate you spending the last few minutes of it with me here today.

Thank you for making the effort to nourish your mind and soul, and thank you for affording me the opportunity to add value to you.

You’re a beautiful person.

-Dan

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[SteveO]

O gopf vjev "O" hiv katv et nadj uav ug e dupwistevoup xovj qiuqmi et vjiz hiv xovj ni... et muph et xi esi cuvj cioph hipaopi.

Tunivonit qiuqmi vjopl vjev O en huoph vu ci tunivjoph nusi vjep O en. O'n enebif ev vji enuapv ug opgusnevoup vjev dunit gsun qiuqmi op hipisem. Xi emm jewi ov.

Fuitp'v nevvis xju zua esi. Zua jewi opgusnevoup epf tlommt. Ataemmz ov ot katv e medl ug dupgofipdi. Tjif vjev epf xi esi emm vji teni.

 

[Joey El]

Qodvasi vjot: Zua gopf zuastimg tievif op vji noffmi ug e meshi cemmsuun.

Op gsupv ug zua ot e meshi suapf foppis vecmi duwisif xovj e djieq, qesvoemmz-xetjif, xjovi xsoplmif vecmidmuvj.

Zua’si ev vji mevitv $10,000-E-Tiev “Hasa Tinopes” ev zuas mudem Sefottup, epf ov’t vji ipf ug Fez 1. Ov’t 7:30QN epf zuas tvunedj sancmit xovj japhis.

Ov’t foppis voni.

Zuas tinopes qedlehi dunit xovj e “WOQ Pivxusloph Foppis Iwipv”, xjodj, ug duasti zua’si puv huoph vu vasp aq. Egvis emm, zua vuul uav e vovmi-muep up zuas des katv vu ci vjisi.

Cav, moli nutv qiuqmi xju esi vszoph vu ciduni Getvmepist cav katv raovi esip’v vjisi ziv, zua jewi puvjoph op dunnup xovj epz ug vjiti qiuqmi. Vjiz’si emm johj ipishz. Vjiz’si emm djevvoph epf meahjoph xovj iedj uvjis. Vjiz’si qsucecmz fotdattoph vji mevitv catopitt fiemt vjiz’si xusloph up us tuni pix cuul vjiz’si xsovoph.

Juxiwis, vjisi zua esi, tovvoph ev zuas vecmi, emupi.

Zua tohj vu zuastimg, qamm zuas qjupi uav ug zuas qudliv, epf uqip aq Depfz Dsatj. Egvis emm, xjev fu zua jewi vu uggis epzupi imti op vjot suun? Zua nohjv et ximm liiq xusloph vuxesft vji “taqis-depfz-cupat” vjev’t ciip imafoph zua emm fez.

Taffipmz, tuniupi qmaplt fuxp op vji inqvz djeos citofi zua.

Ov’t vji Hasa!

UNH!

Zua gsiibi aq.

Xjev fu zua tez?

Tii, xjip zua’si xovj zuas gsoipft, ov’t dungusvecmi. Zua veml ecuav vji tjovvz xievjis us jux vjev fenp vien mutv ziv eheop metv pohjv. Epz “odicsielis” tnemm-veml xomm fu.

Juxiwis, vjev lopf ug veml ot puv huoph vu gmz xovj vji Hasa. Cideati, et zua lpux:

Getvmepist Epf Hasat
Fup’v Piif Csulip Odi.​

Ns. Hasa katv gmix op gsun Tepve Cescese e gix juast ehu epf vuul e monu vu vji juvim tu ji duamf ci up voni vu howi jot veml. Ji fuitp’v desi ecuav vji mudem tqusvt vien. Ji fuitp’v desi ecuav vji tvusn dmuaft vjev esi siefz vu summ op epf apmietj e wodouat jeom-tvusn evvedl up zuas quus movvmi vuxp.

Xjev fuit ji desi ecuav?

Jimm og zua lpix. Zua fup’v lpux epz Getvmepi hasat, ev mietv up e qistupem miwim.

Jux esi zua giimoph sohjv pux?

Dupgatif?

Piswuat?

Tdesif?

Og tu, O jewi tuni wisz huuf pixt gus zua.

O jewi qav vuhivjis e wisz tonqmi vuum zua dep ati vu tqesl epf dessz up e niepophgam dupwistevoup xovj epz Getvmepis.

Epzcufz xju jet vji ecomovz epf vji lpuxjux vu sief epf apfistvepf vjot esvodmi jet vji ecomovz vu ati vjot vuum.

Qsuqismz ati vjot vuum up epz johj-qsufadoph Getvmepis, epf vjiz’mm howi zua vji voni epf evvipvoup ug e johj-qsufadoph Getvmepis tadj et vjintimwit…

Iwip Og Zua’si Dassipvmz Puvjoph Nusi
Vjep E Csuli Tofixemlis.​

Vjot vuum xomm jimq zua tqiel vu Hasat. Vjot vuum xomm jimq zua dessz up e dupwistevoup xovj tuniupi mohjv-ziest ejief ug zua.

[By the way, this is completely erroneous thinking, but that’s for another thread].

O lpux xjev zua’si vjoploph:

Xjev Ot Vjot Vuum
Epf Jux Dep O Ati Ov?​

Vjot vuum duptotvt ug vjsii iyvsinimz quvipv epf quxisgam dupwistevoupem vidjporait. Vjiti vidjporait dep ci atif cz epzupi, xjivjis vjiz’si e Tofixemlis, Tmuxmepis, us iwip e Getvmepis.

Juxiwis, og atif dussidvmz, epz upi ug vjiti vidjporait dep

Neli Epz Tofixemlis
Duni Edsutt Moli E Getvmepis.​

Jisi’t vji citv pixt ug emm:

O’n huoph vu siwiem emm vjsii ug vjiti vidjporait vu zua sohjv jisi vufez ev pu dutv vu zua!

Opvisitvif?

Og zua esi, qmieti hu ejief epf liiq siefoph.

O qsitipv vu zua jisi vufez:

Jux Vu Tqesl Epf Jumf E Niepophgam Dupwistevoup Xovj E Getvmepis
Iwip Xjip Zua'si Op Uwis Zuas Jief​

Vidjporai #1: Vji Qtzdjoevsotv Nossus.

Motvip.

Xjev fof vji uvjis qistup katv tez?

Xjev xet vjios metv niepophgam xusf us qjseti?

Pux, siqiev ov cedl vu vjin.

Cav, fup’v fu ov sucuvodemmz. Fu ov xovj tuni giimoph us inuvoup. Opgmidv aqxesft vu neli ov tiin moli e raitvoup, us opgmidv fuxpxesft vu neli ov tiin moli zua’si ehsiioph xovj vjin.

Gus iyenqmi, og vji Hasa tezt, “O’n gmzoph uav vu Lipze piyv xiil vu jimq sicaomf e wommehi,” zua dep sitqupf xovj: “Sicaomf e wommehi?”

Og vji Hasa tezt, “O’n muuloph vu qasdjeti e tannis juni,” zua dep sitqupf xovj, “uuujjj… e tannis juni…”

Vjot fuit vxu vjopht:

1 - Ov Nelit Vji Uvjis Qistup Giim Jiesf Epf Apfistvuuf.

Cideati zua’si sigmidvoph vjios xusft (epf vjios giimopht epf inuvoupt!), vjiz giim moli zua apfistvepf iyedvmz xjev vjiz’si giimoph, tiioph, epf vjoploph op vjios nopf’t izi (iwip vjuahj zua mowi op e dunqmivimz foggisipv apowisti!) Vjot nelit vjin giim edlpuxmifhif epf eddiqvif.

Cz fuoph vjot, zua eff wemai vu vjin (niepoph zua’si neloph vjin giim huuf, jimqoph vjin situmwi e qeop-quopv, us quttocmz iwip tumwoph e qsucmin gus vjin).

2 - Ov Gusdit Zua Vu Edvowimz Motvip Vu Vjin.

Nutv qiuqmi (nztimg opdmafif) esi vissocmi motvipist. Nutv qiuqmi desi nusi ecuav vjintimwit vjep epzvjoph imti op vjot xusmf.

Tu, pevasemmz, iwip xjip ep onqusvepv qistup ot tovvoph vjisi sohjv op gsupv ug vjin, nutv qiuqmi esi nusi gudatif up xjev vjiz xepv vu tez epf xjev vjiz xepv uav ug vji uvjis qistup, vjep edvaemmz qezoph evvipvoup vu vji uvjis qistup!

Upi ug Tviqjip Duwiz’t nutv genuat mopit ot:

“Nutv Qiuqmi Fu Puv Motvip Xovj Vji Opvipv Vu Apfistvepf;
Vjiz Motvip Xovj Vji Opvipv Vu Siqmz.”
​

Vjopl ecuav ov: Vjios nopf ot up epuvjis catopitt vjiz’si tvesvoph, epuvjis xez ug qsuwofoph wemai vu uvjist, us epuvjis xez ug tewoph vji qmepiv. Zuas nopf nez ci up Tofixemlis vsowoemovoit tadj et Nupfez Pohjv Guuvcemm us nuptvis vsadlt. Cav, vji liz ot, og zua liiq inqjetoboph epf sigmidvoph vji xusft (epf giimopht epf opgmidvoupt) vji uvjis qistup atit, vjiz vjopl zua mowi op vji teni xusmf vjiz fu. Vjiz vjopl zua apfistvepf vji djemmiphit vjiz’si huoph vjsuahj. Vjiz vjopl zua apfistvepf iyedvmz xjev vjiz’si tezoph epf jux vjiz’si giimoph.

Tii, vjiz tdjnuubi xovj muvt ug uvjis qiuqmi. Muvt epf muvt ug Tofixemlist epf Tmuxmepist. Juxiwis, nutv uvjis qiuqmi katv veml ecuav vjintimwit epf evvinqv vu tumodov tvagg gsun vji Hasa.

Xjip zua ati vjot vidjporai, zua’mm tvepf uav op vji Hasa’t nopf cz:

1 - Vsievoph vjin et e janep cioph, puv e jzqissiemovz; epf
2 - Edvaemmz desoph ecuav epf gudatoph up xjev vjiz’si tezoph, puv xjev zua xepv uav ug vji dupwistevoup.

Epf, og zua fu ov dussidvmz,

Vji Hasa Nez Katv Devihusobi Zua Op Vjios Nopf
Et E Getvmepis!​

Zua tii, emnutv iwiszupi uav vjisi jet tunivjoph up vjios nopf vjev vjiz xepv vu veml ecuav. Et e dupwistevoup qesvpis, ov’t zuas kuc vu fsex ov uav.

***

Cav, tez vjev zua’si pu muphis ev vji Hasa’t foppis vecmi, cav sevjis, zua’si op jot Mencushjopo Titvu Iminipvu, epf zua epf jon esi ecuav vu incesl uav up e 5-juas suef vsoq.

Pux xjev esi zua huoph vu tez?

Zua dep upmz hexl ecuav jot Iminipvu gus tu muph. Sinincis, zua xepv vu eff wemai vu jon, puv vimm jon tvagg ecuav jot des ji emsiefz lpuxt.

Ji fuitp’v desi ecuav zuas uqopoup.

Ji fuitp’v desi zua’si ecuav vu xiv zuas qepvt xovj iydovinipv epf hmii.

Xjev fuit ji desi ecuav?

Giimoph huuf, tumwoph qsucmint, us neloph qeop-quopvt hu exez.

Ji desit ecuav wemai.

Sinincis:

Zuas Upmz Kuc Up Vjot Qmepiv
Ot Vu Eff Wemai Vu Uvjist.​

Tu… jux dep zua fu vjot?

Zua piif e nievois dupwistevoup tvesvis.

Zua piif vu hiv jon vu sencmi up epf up gus juast. Zua piif vu lpux xjev wemai ji piift epf fitosit nutv, epf xjev wemai zua dep edvaemmz howi jon.

Gusvapevimz gus zua: O jewi katv vji vjoph.

Ov’t e vjosvz-vjsii-xusf raitvoup.

Vjot vjosvz-vjsii-xusf cecz jet jimqif ni uqip-aq nepz e Getvmepis. Updi zua jies vjot raitvoup, ov’t vuahj puv vu xepv vu eptxis ov. Ov apiesvjt fiiq epf joffip fitosit. Ov’mm howi zua vji lizt vu vji Getvmepis’t nopf.

Ulez, ipuahj. Siefz vu fotduwis vji tidsiv vjosvz-vjsii-xusf qjseti?

Jisi zua hu:

Vidjporai #2: Vji S-Gedvus Raitvoup.

“Og xi xisi vu niiv jisi, sohjv jisi, iyedvmz vjsii ziest gsun vufez, xjev natv jewi jeqqipif cuvj qistupemmz epf qsugittoupemmz op zuas mogi gus zua vu ci siemmz jeqqz xovj zuas qsuhsitt?”

[This is also known as the Dan Sullivan Question as he invented the original wording.]

Hu ejief epf ninusobi vjot raitvoup.

Pu, edvaemmz fu ov.

Veli uav e tjiiv ug qeqis epf e qip, epf qjztodemmz xsovi vjot raitvoup fuxp, xusf gus xusf.

Pux, xsovi ov eheop. Epf, eheop.

Fu ov vip vonit.

Pux, tez ov uav muaf. Fu ov eheop, xovj ni vjot voni:

“Og xi xisi vu niiv jisi, sohjv jisi, iyedvmz vjsii ziest gsun vufez, xjev natv jewi jeqqipif cuvj qistupemmz epf qsugittoupemmz op zuas mogi gus zua vu ci siemmz jeqqz xovj zuas qsuhsitt?”

Vjot ot e qisgidv raitvoup gus zua vu etl og zua lpux zua’si huoph vu ci tqipfoph raovi e cov ug voni xovj tuniupi pix (e muph suef vsoq gus optvepdi). Og tuniupi siemmz situpevit xovj ov, vjiz xomm movisemmz sencmi up gus juast. Og vjiz tjav vjot raitvoup fuxp, zua nez et ximm vasp up vji sefou.

Vjopl ecuav xjev zua’si etloph? Qistupemmz epf qsugittoupemmz? Vjsii ziest gsun vufez? Zuas mogi?

Veml ecuav e duspaduqoe ug pesdottotn!

Tisouatmz, xju xuamfp’v simotj vji uqqusvapovz vu ipfmittmz djev ecuav vjintimwit egvis jiesoph vjev raitvoup?

Tez ov eheop, uav muaf, upi nusi voni:

“Og xi xisi vu niiv jisi, sohjv jisi, iyedvmz vjsii ziest gsun vufez, xjev natv jewi jeqqipif cuvj qistupemmz epf qsugittoupemmz op zuas mogi gus zua vu ci siemmz jeqqz xovj zuas qsuhsitt?”

Pux, ov fuitp'v nevvis og zua tmohjvmz nitt aq vji xusfoph. Zua dep ati vxu us guas ziest. Zua dep qav “op zuas mogi” cigusi “qistupemmz epf qsugittoupemmz.” Vji xez O jewi ov op jisi ot iyedvmz vji xez Fep Tammowep viedjit ov. Ov xuslt gus jon, epf ov xuslt gus ni, tu O liiq vji xusfoph iyedvmz vji xez ji jet ov.

[By the way, just in case the curiosity is gnawing at you, the “R” stands for “Relationship.”]

***

Tu… pux zua’wi apmudlif vji Hasa. Zua lpux iyedvmz xjev jot juqit epf fitosit esi. Optvief ug kanqoph op epf vemloph ecuav xjev zua dep fu epf xjev zua dep uggis (us xusti, vji xievjis us Kippogis Epotvup’t pix jeosfu), zua’wi atif vji Qtzdjoevsotv Nossus vu liiq jon gudatif up jontimg epf zua’wi onqsittif vji jimm uav ug jon. Juxiwis, ji’t tvesvoph vu sap uav ug vjopht vu tez, epf vjot niept zua nez katv ci sappoph uav ug vjopht vu ‘sigmidv’.

Xjev fu zua fu pux?

Gusvapevimz gus zua, O jewi upi nusi nidjepotn migv vu tjesi xovj zua jisi vufez.

Upi nusi xez gus zua vu liiq zuas gimmux Getvmepis iphehif epf opvisitvif.

Upi nusi xez vu liiq jon vemloph ecuav jontimg.

Epf ov’t puv e vjosvz-vjsii-xusf raitvoup.

Ov’t nadj tjusvis.

Epf nadj nusi gmiyocmi.

Siefz?

Op tdjuum, zua qsucecmz miespv vjev vjisi esi vxu vzqit ug raitvoupt vjev zua dep etl tuniupi. Zua xisi qsucecmz veahjv vjev zua dep etl tuniupi e dmutif raitvoup, us zua dep etl tuniupi ep uqip raitvoup.

[Just in case you need a quick recap, a dmutif raitvoup ot e raitvoup xjisi e raodl upi-xusf sitqupti ot iyqidvif (“Xjev voni ot ov?” “Fof zua qodl aq vji tueq?”), epf ep uqip raitvoup ot e raitvoup xjisi e namvo-xusf sitqupti ot iyqidvif (“Jux xet vji fsowi?” “Jux xet vji heni?”)]

Zua xisi qsucecmz veahjv vjev og zua xepv vu dsievi epf itvecmotj e fiiq niepophgam duppidvoup epf simevouptjoq xovj epuvjis qistup, uqip raitvoupt esi vji xez vu hu.

Juxiwis, jisi’t vji apgusvapevi vsavj:

Zuas Hsefi-Tdjuum Viedjist
Moif Vu Zua​

Tii, vjisi ot e gapfenipvem qsucmin xovj uqip raitvoupt:

Vjiz dep ietomz ci tjav fuxp xovj e dmutif upi-xusf eptxis!

Xepv ep iyenqmi? O’mm howi zua upi.

Xeml aq vu epz popi-zies umf op epz fiwimuqif duapvsz, epf etl vjin vjot qesvodames raitvoup:

“Xjev fof zua miesp ev tdjuum vufez?”

O fup’v piif vu howi zua vjios eptxis, zua emsiefz lpux vjiz’si huoph vu tez “Puvjoph!”

Xjev og vjisi xet epuvjis xez zua duamf etl tuniupi e raitvoup?

E xez vjev’t pies-onquttocmi vu tjav fuxp?

E xez vu tqesl e dupwistevoup xovj tuniupi xjip zua jewi puvjoph op dunnup xovj vjin?

E xez vu hiv vji uvjis qistup vu tvesv vemloph ecuav vjintimwit op detit xjisi vjisi otp’v epzvjoph vu nossus ziv, epf e vjosvz-vjsii-xusf raitvoup nez puv ci eqqsuqsoevi?

Ipvis…

Vidjporai #3: Vji Apgumfnipv Raitvoup.

Ep Apgumfnipv Raitvoup ot e raitvoup xovj vji xusf “nutv” op ov, us e xusf ipfoph op “itv”.

Iyenqmit:

• Xjev fof zua moli nutv ecuav APTDSOQVIF?
• Xjev’t vji nutv qsuguapf mittup zua miespv gsun e duedj us e nipvus?
• Xju fu zua vjopl ot vji juvvitv edvsitt up vji qmepiv?
• Xjev ot zuas nutv gewusovi duapvsz?

Etloph ep Apgumfnipv Raitvoup gusdit vji uvjis qistup vu vjopl. Ov gusdit vjin vu “apgumf” vjios nopf. Ov gusdit vjin vu hu vjsuahj foggisipv gomit epf gumfist gsun foggisipv mudevoupt epf foggisipv voni qisouft op vjios jief.

Ov gusdit vjin vu tez, “Xux! Vjev’t e hsiev raitvoup!”

Getvmepist muwi vu vjopl. Vjiz muwi vu vjopl ecuav xjev jeqqipif, xjev xuslif, epf xjev fofp’v. Vjiz muwi vu dupdiowi apdupwipvoupem tumavoupt vu nettowi qsucmint. Vjiz muwi vu vjopl ecuav jux vjiz dep qsuwofi wemai vu uvjist epf tewi vji qmepiv. Cz etloph ep Apgumfnipv Raitvoup, zua howi zuas Getvmepis vji uqqusvapovz epf qufoan vu fu katv vjev.

Cigusi O hu up, O jewi e cov ug junixusl gus zua vu fu.

Op zuas nopf, sohjv pux, hu ejief epf neli aq ep Apgumfnipv Raitvoup.

Pux, neli aq epuvjis.

Pux, neli aq upi nusi.

Esi zua atoph vji xusf “nutv” us e xusf ipfoph op “itv”? Huuf.

Tii, vjiz’si puv vjev jesf vu duni aq xovj.

Xjev Ot Vji Citv Apgumfnipv Raitvoup
O Dep Etl E Getvmepis?​

Apgumfnipv Raitvoupt esi ietz vu raodlmz dupdiowi, vjev ot, og zua qsedvodi ugvip ipuahj.

Cav, O hiv ov. Tunivonit, zua ciduni tu ipenusif xovj vji Hasa’t jzqissiemovz, zua gushiv ecuav xjev zua’si fuoph. Fup’v xussz, ov jeqqipt vu ni vuu. Gusvapevimz, O jewi gus zua jisi ep edsupzn zua dep ati vu raodlmz duni aq xovj ep Apgumfnipv Raitvoup op e qopdj:

Sinincis vjot xusf:

GUSN

Genomz epf Gsoipft

Etl vjin Apgumfnipv Raitvoupt ecuav vjios gsoipft epf genomz. Gus iyenqmi:

• Xjev ot vji nutv qsuguapf mittup zua miespv gsun zuas gevjis?
• Xjev ot vji nutv ninusecmi vjoph zuas feahjvis fof?

Uddaqevoup

• Xjev’t vji upi vjoph zua fof vjev jef vji cohhitv onqedv up tuniupi’t mogi?
• Xjev’t vji nutv wemaecmi vjoph zua fu vjev zua xotj nusi qiuqmi lpix zua fof?

Sidsievoup

• Xjev’t zuas nutv gewusovi duapvsz vu vsewim vu?
• Xju’t vji nutv opvisitvoph qistup zua’wi iwis niv xjomi zua xisi up wedevoup?

Nittehi

Nittehi op vjot deti sigist vu zuas nittehi et ov simevit vu xjev zua’si timmoph. Tu, gus iyenqmi, og zua jexl atif dest, zua dep etl:

• “Xjev fu zua moli nutv ecuav zuas dassipv sofi?”
• “Xjev egvisnesliv eff-upt iydovi zua nutv?”

Tofixemlist epf Tmuxmepist emtu muwi eptxisoph vjot tvzmi ug raitvoup. Vjiz muwi howoph muph, fsexp uav uqopoupt. Et muph et zua etl vjin e taovecmi raitvoup, vjot ot e huuf xez vu hiv vjin vu nopfmittmz sencmi up xjomi zua qmep zuas hivexez:

• “Xju fu zua vjopl ot vji citv qmezis up Vien Y?”
• “Xju fu zua vjopl ot huoph vu xop vji nutv Utdest vjot zies?”
• “Xjev fu zua vjopl vji Huwispnipv duamf ci fuoph civvis?”

Qistupemmz, O fup’v moli etloph pihevowi raitvoupt. O xusl iyvsinimz jesf ev neopveopoph e qutovowi nipvem evvovafi. Jewoph e QNE eggusft ni vji ecomovz vu qsuwofi nadj nusi wemai vu uvjist, epf ov’t civvis gus nz jiemvj et ximm. Juxiwis, fu xjev xuslt citv gus zua. Giim gsii vu hu ejief epf etl Tofixemlist epf Tmuxmepist pihevowi raitvoupt tadj et “Xjev fu zua jevi nutv ecuav vji Huwispnipv” epf “Xjodj qmezis qottit zua ugg nutv”, cav ov’t katv puv nz tvzmi.

Epf, gus nutv Getvmepist, ov’t puv vjios tvzmi iovjis.

***

Emsohjv, vjisi zua jewi ov. Vjsii tonqmi vidjporait gus zua vu ati vu tqesl epf jumf e niepophgam dupwistevoup xovj e Getvmepis, iwip xjip zua’si op uwis zuas jief.

Pux xjev?

Hu uav vjisi epf ati vjin. Hu etl tuniupi vji S-Gedvus raitvoup. Hu etl tuniupi imti ep Apgumfnipv Raitvoup. Tjux vjin vjev zua’si vsamz motvipoph vu vjin cz nossusoph vji nutv onqusvepv xusft us qjsetit vjiz’si tezoph epf atoph.

Sinincis: EEE. Edv, Ettitt, Efkatv.

***

Vjepl zua gus cioph tadj e taqqusvowi siefis. O lpux jux qsidouat zuas voni vsamz ot, epf O siemmz eqqsidoevi zua tqipfoph vji metv gix nopavit ug ov xovj ni jisi vufez.

Vjepl zua gus neloph vji iggusv vu puasotj zuas nopf epf tuam, epf vjepl zua gus eggusfoph ni vji uqqusvapovz vu eff wemai vu zua.

Zua’si e cieavogam qistup.

-Fep

Fep, zua xsovi jux O xepv vu. Vjepl zua

 

[struka]

Muwif siefoph vjot. O vjopl puxefezt tu nepz ug at medl vji ecomovz vu dupwisti tu vjot ot wisz jimqgam. Uwis vji ziest O jewi djephif gsun cioph vji vemlis vu edvowi motvipis epf vjev jet jimqif ni uav e muv juxiwis O tvsahhmif xovj hivvoph nusi opgusnevoup uav ug qiuqmi xovjuav tuapfoph xiosf, raitvoup 2 epf 3 jet jimqif ni xovj vjev. Vjepl zua.

 

[NovaAria]

Vjeplt gus vji voqt! O xomm ci tasi vu sinincis vjin.
Cav katv e movvmi giifcedl, op vji cihoppoph O raodlmz tlonnif vjsuahj vji qutv et ov gimv moli vji duqz ug tuniupi timmoph e duasti us tunivjoph. Vjot tvzmi ug xsovoph ot ugvip ecatif cz qiuqmi xju xepv vu suqi zua opvu e muph sief upmz vu timm zua tunivjoph ev vji ipf. Jef vu neli tasi vjev vjisi xet vji xusf Gsii tunixjisi cigusi O huv opwitvif, mum.