How to overcome an addiction?

[Gurvinder]

I have an addiction that is causing me depression, anxiety, and less energy and focus throughout the day. I am looking for solutions but am unable to find them. I have a lot to study in less time. So my question is there any way I can overcome this addiction?

 

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[Happyheart]

I have an addiction that is causing me depression, anxiety, and less energy and focus throughout the day. I am looking for solutions but am unable to find them. I have a lot to study in less time. So my question is there any way I can overcome this addiction?

Can you be more specific on what kind of addiction?

 

[Gurvinder]

Can you be more specific on what kind of addiction?

It's a fapping addiction

 

[Johnny boy]

Josh Hudson – Pinnacle of Man Home Page

pinnacleofman.com

Hit up my boy Josh. Good guy. Has a lot of good things to say. I spent a few days down in mexico with him.

 

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[Ali Hamza]

Lots of resources are available online, am also doing nofap.
Check out Improvement Pill youtube channel, he has some great nofap videos.
Try the MDF (Man Don't Fap) app to keep track of your streaks. Learn from your relapses. Unfollow all insta models that trigger you. Don't lose hope, even if you have relapsed a lot of times. One thing I have learnt is that nofap cannot be treated as a background task, it needs a lot of focus and mindfulness. Do not edge, it causes more damage than regular pmo. And remember that Nofap is a tool for success, it won't make you successful alone, but it will make the journey sooo much easier!

 

[Mind:Life]

Addictions of all types are the result of focus on short term pleasure and ignoring the long term pain that will comve from continuing the addiction. This includes porn, drugs, food, social media, work, etc. The pleasure is strongest in the beginning, but after a while it decreases leading to either increased use of the addiction or continuing to do it even though it now causes some level of pain. This sounds like where you currently at.

The solution?

Force yourself to focus on what will happen if you continue to do what you are doing. Not in a general way, but in a very specific way where you close your eyes and see yourself continuing the addiction for a period of time. Look at the result from your own eyes as if you are actually there. What will you see? What will be the colors? Where will you be? Who else will be there? Who won't be there?

What will you hear? What will be the sounds? What will people be saying to you? What will you say to yourself?

How will you feel? What will you smell?

Do this envisioning yourself 30 days from now, 1 year from now, 5 years from now, and 10 years from now. Ask yourself what will I see if I continue to do this for a year? Then repeat from 5 years, etc.

Get real with yourself! Yes, this will hurt! But that's the point. If you continue to do what you are doing there is guaranteed pain in your future. So... use this exercise to move the pain from the future into the present and then use the pain as leverage to stop the addiction. NOW.

Then replace the addiction with something more empowering that gets you the same thing you are currently getting from the addiction. There is no such thing as a vacuum, so you can't just remove the addiction without replacing it.

 

[Simon Angel]

I have an addiction that is causing me depression, anxiety, and less energy and focus throughout the day. I am looking for solutions but am unable to find them. I have a lot to study in less time. So my question is there any way I can overcome this addiction?

How do you know masturbating is causing all of these issues for you?

Considering you didn't disclose what your addiction is until prodded by someone else for an answer, I'm just going to assume you feel ashamed for masturbating. Ironically, that shame is likely the root cause of you feeling down throughout the day.

So, having said that, there are two two ways you can go about this:

A) Stop masturbating in order to not feel ashamed
B) Continue masturbating and choose not to feel shame

I've masturbated a few times per day and not masturbated for MONTHS on end. Neither really affected my levels of depression, anxiety, etc. And if they did, it would only last for a short while (a.k.a The Honeymoon Period).

Nothing is stopping you from doing what you should be doing or feeling great. Nothing except for you, that is.

 

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[Fasted]

I have an addiction that is causing me depression, anxiety, and less energy and focus throughout the day. I am looking for solutions but am unable to find them. I have a lot to study in less time. So my question is there any way I can overcome this addiction?

Transmute. If you have an urge to masturbate use that sexual energy and put it towards something positive. Intense workouts, working on your business, lose yourself in a hobby etc. View it as energy that needs redirecting.

 

[Diego Liu]

Don’t focus on NOT doing something.

Think of yourself as a rubber band. When you force yourself to resist doing something, it’s like pulling a rubber band back.

Eventually, you’ll run out of willpower (the rubber band will reach its limit of elasticity), and then BAM! You relapse (the rubber band snaps back) even harder.

You feel guilty, sorry for yourself, and self-sabotage. After a while, you decide to try again and think “it’s going to be different this time.” You fail again and keep repeating this vicious cycle. I’ve been there countless times.

To make lasting changes, you must change your nature, or self-image.

That’s why people who say “I haven’t smoked for a week” almost always relapse sooner or later. Deep down, they still see themselves as smokers.

Also, according to James Clear in Atomic Habits, you can’t really “quit” any habit, but you can REPLACE it.

Instead of saying, “I’m not going to masturbate for 30 days.” What about, “Whenever I feel the urge to watch porn and masturbate, I’ll do 50 jumping jacks/take a cold shower/meditate for 10 minutes.”


Here are a couple videos I recommend watching with some real, practical advice.

1.

2.

3.

4.

 

[heavy_industry]

Addiction is almost never the problem.
Addiction is something that you come up with to distract yourself from your real problems. Addiction is the human response to pain and suffering.

So the key to overcoming any addiction is to fix your actual problems. Make your life so wonderful, that the addiction is no longer needed.

 

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[Diego Liu]

Also, not just applicable to watching porn and fapping, for those out there who are currently “on a streak” and are afraid of relapsing (be it weed, alcohol, junk food, video games, social media, etc.), I highly recommend watching these 2 videos:

1.

2.

(You can watch the full episode on the official website: South Park - Watch Full Episodes Free Online | South Park Studios US
It’s still hilarious, but this one is surprisingly profound and wholesome)

Personally, I once had phone addiction that I could hardly get any work done. So I decided to put the phone in my motorcycle so that I’d have to walk for 5 minutes to get there and use it.

It worked. But I found out that I felt guilty whenever I used my phone, even for legitimate reasons.

Or while I worked outside in coffee shops where I had to have my phone beside me for hotspot, I either relapsed and got sucked into it or just felt super anxious that I’d end up doing that.

It wasn’t until watching that video by Alex Becker and that South Park episode and reflecting some more did I realize that long-term, I couldn’t rely on any “hack,” the problem was still within me.

Recently, I’ve learned to use my phone more productively. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media, I mostly either read my Kindle or contribute by writing posts here (like what I’m doing right now).

“If you devote your whole life to completely avoiding something you like, then that thing still controls your life, and you haven’t learned any discipline at all.”

“All or nothing is easy, but learning to drink a little bit, responsibly, that [requires] discipline. Discipline comes from within.”

 

[Danny_Cox]

I have an addiction that is causing me depression, anxiety, and less energy and focus throughout the day. I am looking for solutions but am unable to find them. I have a lot to study in less time. So my question is there any way I can overcome this addiction?

Raise your general level of satisfaction to the degree that you no longer need the object of your addiction. Mindfulness practice is uniquely suited to this.

 

[Emmanuaell]

I have an addiction that is causing me depression, anxiety, and less energy and focus throughout the day. I am looking for solutions but am unable to find them. I have a lot to study in less time. So my question is there any way I can overcome this addiction?

You can use the 5T STRATEGY to self evaluate yourself, experience and uncover effective strategy to overcome masturbation permanently.

TRUTH
A man who told the truth to himself is the one who realised his flaws, the one who realised his flaws is ready to readjust himself. This is the beginning of your freedom - You can be anything but stay true to yourself!

Always remember that the one who told the truth is close to freedom.

TRUST
Trust your guts, what you believe you can't, you're less likely to achieve. Trust your ability, trust yourself, trust the process , it doesn't matter if you relapse. you have nothing to loose If you trust yourself.The only thing there in to loose is defeat.

If you believe you can, then you should, and if you're brave enough to trust yourself, you will

THOUGHTS
Just like the Pareto principle - 20% of your thoughts reflects 80% of your reality. Your thoughts are big game players to your reality. This can't be overemphasized. Stay aware of your thoughts

Thoughts awareness Is a way of controllinghow and what you think. It's like you're playing trickswith your brain.

Let's say you're about getting set to bath or alreadyin the shower, and this thought to masturbate keepstapping, try thinking of something calculative.
Think with details, keep the mind busy, think outloud to shift your mindfrom the thought of masturbation.

TIME
Pay attention to how you spend your time especially when you're alone. Ask yourself :What can I do differently ?
How do I make today count ?
What is the last thing I did before masturbating? What are my triggers?
How do I turn sexual energy to productive energy? If possible have a journal to track your daily activities to help you better manage your time.

TEST
Try out New stuffs, you can't do the same thing and expect different results - it's like taking tea with fork while anticipating the results a tea spoon would deliver

Try out New stuffs, does it mean changing environment?, Your daily routine? Morning rituals ? Late night habits? The focus is to rejuvenate your regular lifestyles to hit your target.

To your freedom!

 

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[Gurvinder]

Many thanks to all of you. I am beyond grateful and blown away by all the hard work and value you guys put into this thread. This forum is a blessing. I have enough resources to get over it now. Thanks, Much appreciated!

 

[Angler]

I'd also suggest go out and talk to girls. It'll push you to develop yourself into a better man, and in the process stop fapping. This is especially true if you can see the other consequences of jerking off too much... low self esteem, your voice is high as a kid when you get a compliment, you can't hold eye contact, etc.

 

[Andreas Thiel]

Another angle you can look at - if the mental side doesn't add up and you suspect another component - is described in "Breaking The Food Seduction".

Have not read it and it might be a stretch with fapping, but there is a part about people with fewer receptors of a certain kind (maybe for endorphins?) in the brain, who have a harder time feeling happy or even just normal.

 

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