How To Form A Deeper Bond With Anyone

[Edgar King]

Just wanted to post some advice I received from a good friend of mine who's mother networks, I've applied, and found it actually helped create a deeper bond with others. It's my hope that you'll find possibly even better success, for the situations where you wish to get your foot in the door with the other person.

1. On meeting them, start with the good, the bad (if any), and end with the good to build rapport. The good can be as simple as a compliment, you just want to raise their physical, emotional, or mental state. From live to online conversations, it'll help create a more positive impression of you and helps others open up to you.
2. People bond over misfortunes, troubles and struggles. If they won't share them with you first, share yours and continue from there. Make sure to share struggles appropriate to where you stand in the relationship. If you just met them, don't go in explaining you need heart surgery to a stranger, keep it to a surface level.
3. Solve problems they bring up.
4. Keep doing the above in the conversation (naturally of course).
5. Join the conversation already happening in their head. Don't force new angles.
6. Put more of the focus on them, rather than you.

Here's an example of a bad start for instance...

A: Hey, how are you?
B: Good, how are you?
A: Good. END.

Incorporating principle 2...
A: Ah, hey B.
B: Hey, how are you?
A: Bad.
B: Huh, what happened?
A: I ripped my pants.
B... HAHAH
Success.

Incorporating principle 3..
A: Hey, how are you?
B: Pretty good.
A: Where are you heading off to?
B: To study. I've got this programming coursework, I don't know how to start.
A: (Asks him to explain)
A: Hmm. I've got a programming guide I used that does 80% of those tasks, would you like to use it? Just give me your number and I'll send it to you.
B: Perfect, thanks!

Unsurprisingly, everything can be summed up as, put good out in the world for people to experience. Things that raise people up emotionally, mentally, physically (what is called 'value'). And when you raise people up, they will raise you up.

 

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