Hello from the Midwest United States

[Kelso]

Hello TMF & @MJ DeMarco,

Excited to join the forum as I stumbled upon TMF and Unscripted about a month ago. Although, I was on a search that sounds quite different, but ultimately led me here with people that I hope share similar viewpoints. What did this search entail? A 9 month stint of isolation, and writing to figure out what was going on in my life. As the popular terminology here goes, it would be something like, "You can only connect the dots looking backwards." And I was connecting the dots of my past to see what CHOICES I had made to cause the unhappiness in my life. That's where I was at when I stumbled upon these books. How I had gotten to this place in my life?

What were the repeated problems in my life I had to question?

• 18 different jobs, all except one I couldn't stand to be a part of
• 8 different cities I've lived in, all to which brought about similar problems
• Likely 100's of friends, groups, institutions, and relationships that I had to walk away from for the same reason

So, I looked back at this conglomeration of all these terrible events, and asked myself, "What had I done right before sh*t hit the fan for each of these situations?" What choice did I make before all these mini tragedies in my life happened? Simple, I said the word, "No." That was the choice I made. To say the word, "No." I think most people have an atomic bomb of a FTE, where as I've been carpet bombed by them. Only I was dumb enough to run right back to the war zone.

I never had a lick of remorse for saying, "No." I only hated the hell reaped afterwords by the people who disagreed with me. The people in the script. It wasn't the fact that I had made so many bad CHOICES, because most of the choices I had made I felt correct about. It was the fact that I had no CONTROL in my life that was dependent upon these CHOICES.

• It doesn't matter how good of a CHOICE I make in corporate world, because I'm not in CONTROL there. I don't distribute the money, or the job positions.
• It doesn't matter how good of a CHOICE I make in the education system, because I'm not in CONTROL of giving grades.

When there is no CONTROL of your CHOICE you are stuck in a system where you have to TRUST someone else to make the right CHOICE for you. If you have to TRUST people constantly, your life is in a place that is out of CONTROL. Here's essentially what I was doing: Blaming myself for bad choices within the slow lane. When the truth is, your choices have no control in the slow lane. So, they don't matter anyways! The real screw up I made in life was to make the CHOICE to place myself somewhere with no CONTROL.

Here's why I'm here: To make the CHOICE to involve myself somewhere that I can have CONTROL.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Wisz vsai, zua dep'v neli e djuodi up nepz vjopht og zua fup'v jewi dupvsum.

Vjeplt gus vji opvsu epf ximduni.

 

[Timmy C]

O inqevjoti xovj jux zua gimm, itqidoemmz huoph cedl vu vji xes bupi moli e buncoi tvseohjv vu vji tmeahjvisjuati xjisi zuas tuam ot fitvsuzif fez op fez uav.

Zua xomm hiv vjisi.

Ximduni ecuesf.

 

[Kennypaul]

E muv ug "DJUODIT" epf "DUPVSUM" op zuas opvsu,cav O cimoiwi O miespv tunivjoph "pix" gsun ov.Ximduni Limtu.