Having trouble making small talk; I don't care about other people

[guy93777]

Where does the above material come from, @guy93777? It sort of reads like a storyboard from "One Life to Live."

i have said this is the mystery method

The Mystery Method: Amazon.co.uk: Erik von Markovik: 9780312360115: Books

Buy The Mystery Method by Erik von Markovik (ISBN: 9780312360115) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

www.amazon.co.uk

the author is an INTP ( mbti theory ). introvert thinkers are INTP ( architect ) and INTJ ( strategist )

i am an INTJ. there are a lot of other methods to understand people that was created by introvert thinkers. Eben Pagan, Jeff Walker are introvert thinkers


--> to understand the mess that is society, we have to rely on system thinking


for example : jeff Walker's product launch formula





Eben Pagan and the customer avatar in his get altitude program






get altitude really means that we have to stand above society to see what's going on
in the mess








the masterminds ( most of them are INTJ and INTP ) owning society have been working for centuries with system thinking


--> i am a self made expert on social engineering so it seems to me that i know what i am talking about

hint :

 

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[Bertram]

i have said this is the mystery method

The Mystery Method: Amazon.co.uk: Erik von Markovik: 9780312360115: Books

Buy The Mystery Method by Erik von Markovik (ISBN: 9780312360115) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

www.amazon.co.uk

the author is an INTP ( mbti theory ). introvert thinkers are INTP ( architect ) and INTJ ( strategist )

i am an INTJ. there are a lot of other methods to understand people that was created by introvert thinkers. Eben Pagan, Jeff Walker are introvert thinkers


--> to understand the mess that is society, we have to rely on system thinking


for example : jeff Walker's product launch formula

View attachment 25256



Eben Pagan and the customer avatar in his get altitude program

View attachment 25257




get altitude really means that we have to stand above society to see what's going on
in the mess


View attachment 25258





the masterminds ( most of them are INTJ and INTP ) owning society have been working for centuries with system thinking


--> i am a self made expert on social engineering so it seems to me that i know what i am talking about

hint :

View attachment 25259

Thanks for this.

 

[guy93777]

Thanks for this.

you are welcome

in terms of strategy , you have to understand that the level here ( Pagan, walker, etc ) is a joke compared to the masterminds managing society

A JOKE.

the marketing guys are brainwashed like everyone else by the masters at the top. they are part of a superior system of management.

this is like monkeys managing gazelles at the zoo while the masters are managing the zoo , the superior system


smart people make their own rules in life because they understand that they have the right to live according to their cleverness

masterminds think that might is right. cleverness is right, not the stupid opinions of the crowd !

by the way, this is the core of stuart Goldmisth teaching ( INTJ as well )

 

[Tourmaline]

That is an interesting distinction.
It seems to be out there for the sake of excusing parents for bringing up a monster and likewise to get teachers and caregivers off the hook for no intervention.
Why would genetics make a bigger impact on the character development of a psychopath than the rest of us? That's pretty impossible.
The movie "We Need to Talk about Kevin" starring Tilda Swynton is based on the idea that psychopaths are born not made and that bad genes are in charge of their thoughts and feelings.
But the story is also about an uppity, distracted, career-focused, clueless single mom who never thinks for a moment that she and her child might benefit by her picking up a basic book on parenting and childcare. "Chapter One. Your newborn requires cuddling and loving verbal noises. Pick up your crying newborn. Do not hold a screaming newborn at arms length and just stare at it, counting out the minutes. Do not shake a crying infant for hours, it is trying to tell you something. Crying is reporting an issue. Identifying the problem and solving it is up to the adult, not the infant."
For the past 25 years "no geneticist worth his salt holds on to the belief that behavior and personality are driven by genetics and that the individual's unfolding personality is controlled by DNA." That quote is from Lewin, a top geneticist.

These days mass shooters are labeled monsters who were born broken.
The formula for a mass shooter is: (autism + bipolar disorder + male biology) + (bipolar mother + addiction) + social rejection and alienation.

Approximately 1% of humans are born without the neurological structure for empathy. Those are psychopaths. They do not have mirror neurons and when someone else is happy or sad in front of them they feel nothing.

I would not even say they're bad genes. They seem to serve some sort of purpose for humans. However most are not successful in life, and rarely are they actually the type that goes on mass shooting sprees.

To be frank, mass shootings are hardly actually effective at killing people. A smart and learned psychopath is much more likely to be an actual serial killer and have a much larger death toll than the vast majority of mass shootings.

Mass shootings are typically perpetrated by sociopaths. Usually it is a combination of a terrible upbringing lacking adequate amounts of love combined with social indoctrination that led to horribly failed expectations. At some point they snap and attempt to punish their community in the most heinous and spineless way possible, by killing innocents. And what is more innocent than a young child?

Regarding parenting, an entire generation practiced the cry it out sleep method, which involves letting the infant cry until it goes to sleep. No comforting it or touching it, except to clean up its vomit. It's a great starting point for creating deep seeded sociopathy.

 

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[Jm10k]

I completely feel where you are coming from. I've dealt with the exact issue in the past, and overcame my not giving a F*ckness about others. Working in a predominantly hasidic Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn I found that, my thirst for knowledge has led me to become intrested in others. I guess practice makes perfect.

At first it's not natural but after you start to learn how others view the world, and how that can help you build a product or service to help others, you will be surprised on how much effort you put into getting to know people from all walks of life.

Like one of the guys here said, go into interview mode, even if you cannot relate to someone try to find out how they feel and try to understand or feel what it must be like.

 

[Bertram]

Approximately 1% of humans are born without the neurological structure for empathy. Those are psychopaths. They do not have mirror neurons and when someone else is happy or sad in front of them they feel nothing.

I would not even say they're bad genes. They seem to serve some sort of purpose for humans. However most are not successful in life, and rarely are they actually the type that goes on mass shooting sprees.

This not quite correct. The research did not make that conclusion at all.
Psychopaths don't lack mirror neurons. They are not born with out mirror neurons.

The research only showed that psychopaths have the capacity to switch off empathy, so that by result the mirror neurons go quiet.

But it's all there.
Human mammals are not born with emotionally developed brains, or for that matter nervous systems. If take 2 1/2 years for the neural pathways for human emotions to unfold.
It happens in two distinct stages. They correspond with other systems maturing, for example asynchronous breathing and heart rate.
Even something as fundamental as that unfolds well after the human mammal is one year old.

In the late 1990s there was a huge international scandal concerning the plight of hundreds if thousands of Ukranian orphans who had been severely deprived of nurture, nutrition, and the ability to learn to walk or speak, because they had been chained in their cribs since birth. Some were autistic, some had conduct disorder, some had auditory processing problems, some were all set to be sociopaths.
All of these problems can be lumped under the category of "affective disorders."

The second branch of the polyvagal nerve, which innervates the trigeminal nerve, does not develop fully until the human baby is 18-26 months old. It is responsible for processing human emotion, facial expression and distinguishing human from non-human sound. The unfolding and maturation of the 2nd branch of the polyvagal had been cancelled in these kids by lack of exposure to the social conditions that triggers growth.
A lot of these children were adopted by US parents who generally freaked out once the kids turned 4-5. They were clearly very troubled, even cognitively impaired.
A neurophysiologist named Stephen Porges had researched the neurophysiology of emotions in infancy. He offered auditory training to 400 of these poor kids who were by then 6-12 years old. They all came to Chicago, were exposed to what they had missed at 18-24 months. and alll learned to feel, express, and read emotions.

.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

 

[Bertram]

you are welcome

in terms of strategy , you have to understand that the level here ( Pagan, walker, etc ) is a joke compared to the masterminds managing society

A JOKE.

the marketing guys are brainwashed like everyone else by the masters at the top. they are part of a superior system of management.

this is like monkeys managing gazelles at the zoo while the masters are managing the zoo , the superior system


smart people make their own rules in life because they understand that they have the right to live according to their cleverness

masterminds think that might is right. cleverness is right, not the stupid opinions of the crowd !

by the way, this is the core of stuart Goldmisth teaching ( INTJ as well )


View attachment 25266

Maybe Pagan, Walker, etc. just know their audience well?
Monkeys teaching monkeys.
Let me ask you this. If masterminds promulgate the script, so what?
So what if the Vatican and Hollywood and Zuckerberg hypnotize the masses. It only extends to that part of human experience, subset social dynamics, which amounts to role-playing. It seems very easy to break out it and wake up.
Chomsky's deep grammar theory proves this innate capacity, a kind of a hinge in self-awareness, which protets the individual from being pure sheep.
Look at the phrase "Let me tell you what I did last week. "
Two I's are in play. The first, "me," can actually talk about, analyze, and represent the second. One self can construct the other, invalidate the other, join the other.
This basic manifestation of our two-sided identity ensures that culture can never totally overwrite subjective identity.

 

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[Tourmaline]

@Bertram

Well I find this:

Psychopathy and the mirror neuron system: Preliminary findings from a non-psychiatric sample | Request PDF

Request PDF | Psychopathy and the mirror neuron system: Preliminary findings from a non-psychiatric sample | Recent advances in social neuroscience suggest a link between empathy and the mirror neuron system (MNS). Impaired empathy is one of the core... | Find, read and cite all the research you...

www.researchgate.net

And then I find this too:

Reduced spontaneous but relatively normal deliberate vicarious representations in psychopathy

Abstract. Psychopathy is a personality disorder associated with a profound lack of empathy. Neuroscientists have associated empathy and its interindividual

academic.oup.com

I liked my simple definition

Although I'm really good at 'turning my empathy off'. I just usually choose not to these days. Hmmm...

 

[MHP368]

Unless youre a misanthrope thats just introversion and ego


Hoe to win friends and influence people is a pretty short book , go read it.


People like talking about themselves , let them , add some guiding questions. I guarantee you these boring folks youve written off all have a story or two worth hearing.

 

[AppMan]

...I just can't connect to them.

I think reading tons of personal development/success/business/entrepreneurship books and videos might have actually backfired on me.

The only thing I really care talking about is success, business, entrepreneurship, etc. Anything else- I simply have no interest in nor care to discuss. When people talk about their pointless subjects- video games, sports, life drama, other people, etc, I simply find myself zoning out and unable to participate in their discussions.

So, as you can imagine- I have immense struggle in making small talk with other people. I find myself ignoring what most people are saying to me simply because I'm not interested in whatever it is they're talking about- UNLESS it's related somehow to success, business, entrepreneurship, etc. I get it- this is a bad situation to be in. It's affecting my relationships and my ability to build rapport with other people.

I feel like I'm stuck. How can I get out of this?

A good communicators who are loved by people listen genuinely to the other person, I think people smell your disinterest and stay away from you.

 

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[Bertram]

				@Bertram Well I find this: Psychopathy and the mirror neuron system: Preliminary findings from a non-psychiatric sample | Request PDF Request PDF | Psychopathy and the mirror neuron system: Preliminary findings from a non-psychiatric sample | Recent advances in social neuroscience suggest a link between empathy and the mirror neuron system (MNS). Impaired empathy is one of the core... | Find, read and cite all the research you... www.researchgate.net And then I find this too: Reduced spontaneous but relatively normal deliberate vicarious representations in psychopathy Abstract. Psychopathy is a personality disorder associated with a profound lack of empathy. Neuroscientists have associated empathy and its interindividual academic.oup.com I liked my simple definition Although I'm really good at 'turning my empathy off'. I just usually choose not to these days. Hmmm... Thanks, I did read the actual papers and others. Both claims you make are not supported by nor even mentioned at all in these papers. It just ain't true that psychopaths don't have mirror neurons. You posted horsesh*t to back up that earlier neurotrash bomb that psychopaths are born not made while sociopaths are made not born. Clever sounding horsesh*t. I just want to make a strong request to refrain from circulating nonsense because it wastes the time and energy of many.

 

[Dignium]

...I just can't connect to them.

I think reading tons of personal development/success/business/entrepreneurship books and videos might have actually backfired on me.

The only thing I really care talking about is success, business, entrepreneurship, etc. Anything else- I simply have no interest in nor care to discuss. When people talk about their pointless subjects- video games, sports, life drama, other people, etc, I simply find myself zoning out and unable to participate in their discussions.

So, as you can imagine- I have immense struggle in making small talk with other people. I find myself ignoring what most people are saying to me simply because I'm not interested in whatever it is they're talking about- UNLESS it's related somehow to success, business, entrepreneurship, etc. I get it- this is a bad situation to be in. It's affecting my relationships and my ability to build rapport with other people.

I feel like I'm stuck. How can I get out of this?

Are you heartbroken because you aren’t in a romantic relationship? I am and I’ve lost all joy in doing anything but doing what it takes to gain love because at the end of the day I have nobody to spoon when I go to bed.

 

[Tourmaline]

@Bertram

Easy there. But I should have explained more. The first study supports some sort of genetic difference. While it doesn't state no mirror neurons it states lessened response.

The second study however supports you. Saying that when asked to they had nearly the same response.

How do you differentiate between psychopathy and sociopathy?

 

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[Bertram]

@Bertram

Easy there. But I should have explained more. The first study supports some sort of genetic difference. While it doesn't state no mirror neurons it states lessened response.

The second study however supports you. Saying that when asked to they had nearly the same response.

How do you differentiate between psychopathy and sociopathy?

One reason why I am investing in FLF is because it's not social media entertainment, but an online business maker space.
You posted misinformation then backed it up with more misinformation. And then backed that up with even more misinformation. Facebook is the best place to make this happen.
I call that wasting time and also damaging this product that I am paying to use.
Peace and good luck.
So it's clear you don't understand the two studies at all nor the underlying assumptions.
From your last post, now I think the confusion here is that you think a person' genetics and their anatomy are one and the same thing. (Or make believe confusion so everyone can all speak in neurotrash.)
Ballet dancers develop different brains over years of training than non-dancers. Their neural networks when problem-solving are strikingly whole brain. So does that mean these differences are genetic? No.
Smokers lose brain volume in distinct patterns over many years. Does that recognizable brain damage involve genetics? No. Will their kids' DNA now carry the genes for brain shrinkage? No. It is caused by oxygen deprivation during smoking.
Coma in brains from severe brain damage from car accidents looks different on brain scans than brains of fully awake people. Did inherited genetic differences cause this? No, vehicular collision altered physio!ogy, not genetics.

"Lessened response" refers to behavioral anatomy, not genes.

Neurons also aren't genes. Hope this helps.

Peace out.

 

[Tourmaline]

One reason why I am investing in FLF is because it's not social media entertainment, but an online business maker space.
You posted misinformation then backed it up with more misinformation. Facebook is the best place to make this happen.
I call that wasting time and also damaging this product that I am paying to use.
Peace and good luck.

Look, I actually appreciate being corrected. It means I learned something. Why I thought psychopaths lacked mirror neurons exactly, I don't know. It's been many years since I've really researched them.

I think we're both here for the same purpose.

However you are also insulting me which is uncalled for.

So from your last post, now I think the confusion here is that you think a person' genetics and their anatomy are the same thing. (Or you make believe confusion so everyone can all speak in neurotrash.)
Ballet dancers develop different brains over years of training than non-dancers and their neural networks when problem-solving are strikingly whole brain. So does that mean these differences are genetic?
Smokers lose white matter in distinct patterns over many years. Does that recognizable brain damage involve genetics? Will their kids' DNA now carrt the genes for braib shrinkage? It is caused by oxygen deprivation during smoking. braib
Coma in brains from severe brain damage from car accidents looks different on brain scans than brains of fully awake people. Did inherited genetic differences causing this?

"Lessened response" is physiological.

Peace out.

Your point here is fair, although presumptuous. Perhaps you're used to being the smartest person in the room and talking down to everyone else.

Yet you get very uppity too. Check yourself.

So yes, I do attribute the impaired empathy response to genetics. I do also recognize that physiology and genetics are not the same. Yet you cannot deny that genetics are responsible for many physiological traits too.

Do you actually have any information for why their physiology is different?

I will ask again, as you did not answer, What do you see as the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?

I hope you are able to control yourself and be respectful.

 

[Bertram]

Look

Look, I actually appreciate being corrected. It means I learned something. Why I thought psychopaths lacked mirror neurons exactly, I don't know. It's been many years since I've really researched them.

I think we're both here for the same purpose.

However you are also insulting me which is uncalled for.



Your point here is fair, although presumptuous. Perhaps you're used to being the smartest person in the room and talking down to everyone else.

Yet you get very uppity too. Check yourself.

So yes, I do attribute the impaired empathy response to genetics. I do also recognize that physiology and genetics are not the same. Yet you cannot deny that genetics are responsible for many physiological traits too.

Do you actually have any information for why their physiology is different?

I will ask again, as you did not answer, What do you see as the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?

I hope you are able to control yourself and be respectful.

This is no big deal, you posted some misinformation and I put the facts out in front, you added two more bits including links to 2 paper titles, but not the papers just the titles on Research Gate and these don't support your idea that psychopaths are born different either, and it sure sounds like you haven't even read them. And now it seems you are still not sated. The content ratio was about 90/10 and all the heavy lifting was on me. That attitude suggests to me you're really here to kill time. Have at it. Let it be. I guess it does not matter that we high-jacked a zombie post in the meantime.

 

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[Tourmaline]

Okay, you're clearly more interested in stroking your own ego than actually talking about things.

 

[honeyb]

Building good relationships with other people can greatly reduce stress and anxiety in your life. In fact, improving your social support is linked to better mental health in general, since having good friends can act as a “buffer” for feelings of anxiety and low mood. However, for some people their anxiety can contribute to their avoidance of social situations, and prevent them from building relationships. This is especially true if you are socially anxious and desperately want to make friends but are either too fearful to do so or are unsure about how to reach out to others.

 

[Bertram]

Okay, you're clearly more interested in stroking your own ego than actually talking about things.

You made a choice.
10/90
See post #96.

 

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[ProcessPro]

Thanks for being honest.

I guess the way you 'learned' to be obsessed with success, you can 'unlearn'. Immerse yourself with people (start small).

Two tips: Open ended questions and listening. You'll hear little gems of stories here and there, many of which may indirectly add to your success.

I think we should strive to like people because they are the ones we're trying to create value for and they're the ones that will give us their money.

 

[kaibutsu]

Reading this thread was extremely valuable. It actually made me think it's a skill I need to seriously work on. I've already been applying the focus on the other person but I haven't been going out my way to look for new connections in places outside my interests.

Thank you all so much!

The thing with being empathetic and oriented towards providing value for the other person is that you end up having everybody like you and you can't find someone to really connect to.