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Hate and dreams - searching for my own road to happiness.

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Deleted03867

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Hello everyone,
First of all - I am Eryk, 18 years old dream-chaser from Poland (my english can be wrong sometimes, I am still learning, sorry for that), and I am in the place that I would never imagine to be there.
Two months before my eighteen birthday I was living by my own believe - searching for happiness wherever it takes, as long as it's not about money.

I've always been deep thinker, I always wanted to know "the answer" and I was searching for that "essence of happiness", starting from making new friends, through rebellions and doing everything by my own, ending on the biggest parties with tons of alcohol.

I was searching for happiness in computer games, playing 18 hours in row, day after day - without results.

I was searching for happiness in being "that guy who rules the town", making as many friends as possible and chasing the love - despite huge success, deep in my soul i knew, that something is missing - without results.

I was searching for happiness smoking marijuana, drinking alcohol as much as i could, having the best time and trying to enjoy every other second - WITHOUT RESULTS.

Everything what I did gave me a lot of experience and satisfaction, but now I am really sure, that it's going about the devil, which hides in my deepest thoughts, in my head.
I always wanted to avoid money. I hated this topic with all of my heart.

I didn't understand anything - deep down I knew that It is about money and my dreams, which I wanted to make real, but I really wanted to make them "only dreams" too, because "it's only money".

Everyday I was seeing how my family is living in strange way - work from monday to friday for a bunch of dollars, saturday and sunday sitting on a couch with beer and watching TV. And again... and again... AND AGAIN. And this is the life which everyone dreamed about since being little kid?!

I was in a pickle. I knew, if I won't do anything about it and I'll end up just like my family, destroying my whole life, changing my time for some money - I will be done.
This monotony started to make me sick, I started to hate money so hella much. And I made a decision.

I want to travel.
I want to help my family.
I want to drive cabrio in summer.
I want to be finally happy.
I want to live in my own house.
I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE I WANT!

And now I am here. On my own journey to reach the true happiness.
 
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