Has anyone dropped their spouse or significant other...

[Jesse Dallenbach]

Disregard post wrong thread! ;-(

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MKHB]

• I certainly hear what you are saying. But, this is not a materialistic goal for most of us. It is a lifestyle.
  
  Nobody should just drop their significant other for petty reasons. There can be reasons though.
  
  I was divorced a number of years ago even though we had a lot of money. My ex could not buy-in to the crazy world of business. She wanted X dollars to be coming in every month. I wanted XXXX dollars coming in to us in very large chunks.
  
  We parted ways and she went back to work. I have not worked for anyone for 16 years and the large chunks keep coming.

• Well said SteveO-obviously a man who has the benefits of a "better half" to enjoy his triumphs with.

• • The only thing more satisfying than a prosperous, rewarding journey is being able to share it with someone;
  • Being able to say I did it is great, but being able to say we did, it is magnificent; and
  • If you have kids or are planning to have kids, there is no better way to set an example; and
  • Think about how great you could be! Only now, there are two of you.
  
  
  Make sure you can tell the difference between your partner's anxiety and uneasiness over the unknown vs the absolute need to control his/her surroundings, by thinking that hiding at a 9-5 job will provide security and stability, it will do neither.
  
  And ironically, the tell-tale signs of this is their unhappiness and discontent over the very plan they choose. Watch your partners interaction with family, friends, and associates. Do they commiserate over poorly treated they are, how under appreciated they are, or enviously go on and on about other people and these great jobs they have. When and if the conversation touches on profits or process improvement, do they seek ways to curry favor with their employer or do they get that "little twinkle" in their eye and ask questions: "how could we do that, what are the start up costs, do we know anybody"
  
  If you are a member of this forum and you have read the MFL and listened to the counsel of those who have been where you want to go, you will know.
  
  MK

 

[MKHB]

Similar but not wholly related to the post title, but I have a different situation.

I own a house with a family member who is not fastlane or in any rush to go there.

Financially I cant afford to get my own place (even renting) and renting out my current room isnt an option either as she wouldnt accept another person living there.

I am into self help and improvement whereas she is constantly negative and not one for bettering herself (lives the standard 5 days work for 2 day freedom jailtime and is happy to continue this until retirement in the sidewalk).

I do know the answer on this is to hasten my fastlane and double/triple current earnings which will create the freedom for me personally. Selling the house isnt an option as its in negative equitity at present.


Has anyone any advice/experience on this one?

Hang in there, you have obtained awareness, now the only thing left is the focus. Ignore the negativity, put the blinders on-without the ability to block out the noise-you will never achieve your dreams.

Another thing many well meaning people sometime miss, including people on this site, is that even though other individuals get inured with mediocrity doesn't mean they will never get it. Leaders need to lead, don't wait for others to always gain wisdom on their own, sometimes they just need to be led.

This is a good test: what if she was that client or that VC or Angel Investor that you need to pitch or sell to make your deal..this is a scenario that will play itself out over and over...selling to nonbelievers, skeptics, and all together insufferable people from the gatekeeper to the CEO. Get used to it, the quicker and more often the you fail the quicker you will succeed.

Be thankful that you get it and that she's not the one on this forum venting about you sitting around watching the Kardashians and bitching about your plight. Hah.

 

[SteveO]

Similar but not wholly related to the post title, but I have a different situation.

I own a house with a family member who is not fastlane or in any rush to go there.

Financially I cant afford to get my own place (even renting) and renting out my current room isnt an option either as she wouldnt accept another person living there.

I am into self help and improvement whereas she is constantly negative and not one for bettering herself (lives the standard 5 days work for 2 day freedom jailtime and is happy to continue this until retirement in the sidewalk).

I do know the answer on this is to hasten my fastlane and double/triple current earnings which will create the freedom for me personally. Selling the house isnt an option as its in negative equitity at present.


Has anyone any advice/experience on this one?

The fact that she does not think the same way as you about the fastlane should not concern you in the least. She is in charge of her life and you are of yours.

The other issue of her negativity simply means that you are letting her energy affect you. The good thing is that you are into self-help. This gives you a project to work on. Figure out what is truly bothering you about the fact that she is negative and why it should affect you.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[iAmTrade]

The fact that she does not think the same way as you about the fastlane should not concern you in the least. She is in charge of her life and you are of yours.

The other issue of her negativity simply means that you are letting her energy affect you. The good thing is that you are into self-help. This gives you a project to work on. Figure out what is truly bothering you about the fact that she is negative and why it should affect you.

I bolded the above most important part of the message.

I don't understand why people break apart just because of the mentality differences. I find it is easier to just reframe the situation.

In a post above that @SteveO made, there was a divorce that took place. Was it not possible to just say- ok you want x coming in steadily...I understand that, but I have xxx coming in every once in a while which is more $ than x steadily.

Then if the aspect of insecurity came in, where she did not feel safe financially... you could have always just taken the chunk of $xxx and put it into an account and paid yourself out every 2 weeks from it, and been like "there you go, now I receive a paycheck..."...with your end goal of course, to make that account grow beyond what you take out...or something.

I find divorce or breaking up with someone an impeccable pain. I don't know how things don't work out, if they were soo hot in the beginning- and if both are willing to communicate with one another and try different things.

I just want to say I wish everyone luck with this, because I see it occur too often, my neighbors and friends got a divorce over similar things. It horrible.

Anyways- I do wish everyone luck and hope compromises can be made and mindsets changed.

P.S...if anyone wants to change the mindset of another- do not do it with words. Do it by taking action that disproves their way as being better/safer etc.

 

[SteveO]

Then if the aspect of insecurity came in, where she did not feel safe financially... you could have always just taken the chunk of $xxx and put it into an account and paid yourself out every 2 weeks from it, and been like "there you go, now I receive a paycheck..."...with your end goal of course, to make that account grow beyond what you take out...or something.

believe me... This was a frequent discussion. I did not know how much it was affecting her though. I had no insecurities, she had many.

There is more to the story than this but I believe it was all related to her discomfort.

It is not all that bad though. I am remarried and much happier than I ever was before.