Growing Brass Balls

[DeletedUser394]

When meeting with zen******* last week, one topic kept coming up over and over with him and associates that I spoke with. And that's the importance of going outside of your comfort zone, and doing things even if you might be afraid of them. He said something to the effect of 'having balls so big they touch the floor' (...something like that hahaha).

Anyway.. I have too many irrational fears and I seldom leave my comfort zone, and that all ends now. I mean, what does it really matter in the end? Are my stupid fears (and there are MANY) going to mean anything in a decade? In a hundred years? Heck, they won't even matter as soon as I conquer them... and of course I'm going to post them all here as I destroy them one by one.

Life is too short to live in fear.

It's late and I'm tired, so to recap in case I wasn't clear: In this thread, I will do things and try things that I've been too afraid to do in the past, for whatever reason.

The first fear I overcame before even leaving zen*******'s office: I gave 2 weeks notice at my job. I wasn't working enough hours, so I need to find a new one. That scared me, because I'm not sure where my income will come from, and I had grown into being too comfortable at my old job. So what? I'll get over it. Going to be hitting the job boards hard in the coming weeks.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DeletedUser394]

Task for tomorrow will be to answer the phone at work.

As silly as this sounds, answering the phone is technically part of my job, and I've yet to do it in the year and a half that I've been working there. (I know phone communication is an issue for quite a few younger people here and in the general public).

What am I afraid of? I'm not going to be physically attacked over the phone or anything. It's an irrational fear, and it dies tomorrow.

I don't want to be known as the guy who couldn't even pick up the phone; I want to be the guy that could pick up the phone, call anyone, and sell them anything.

Baby steps.

 

[EEasyMoney]

What am I afraid of? I'm not going to be physically attacked over the phone or anything. It's an irrational fear, and it dies tomorrow.

I'm not sure what you do for a living so this might not be relevant to your situation. Thirteen years ago, when I was 22, I started my first "sales" position at a bank. I had no professional sales experience, and was terrified on the phones. Part of my job entailed outbound sales calls to current bank clients. I used to find anything else to do to pass the time and meet my goals, to avoid "hitting the phones."

One day, I discovered a way to get clients on the phone, who actually wanted to talk to me, and had a reason to talk to me. I simply answered the phone. It seemed like it was ringing all day, and nobody really wanted to answer it because it was probably someone calling with a problem. And that's usually what it was, but I learned fast to become a problem solver, and to turn the problem into a new sale. By simply answering the phone, I quickly improved my conversational skills, problem solving skills, and learned to transition issues into sales.

With my newfound confidence, I realized that people do want to talk to me, and my fear of making outbound calls disappeared. With every dial, I improved my skills, and my confidence grew. Looking back, I laugh now about the fear that I used to feel, when thinking about picking up the phone. Now, I'm known for being a machine on the phones... all I need is a name and a number, and I'm in my zone... sometimes I don't even get a name... just a number. I don't care, I just dial and start with "Hello." I've even dialed wrong numbers by mistake, got a callback, and turned them into sales.

The point of my reply is just to tell you that you will get over the fear of answering the phones, and some day you'll look back and laugh.

Just a suggestion... consider watching Boiler Room!

Good luck.

 

[LibertyForMe]

No fear when talking to people is something that I cultivated without really realizing it. I almost think it is easier to start by talking to people in person than on the phone; and once you get an idea of how people react in person you can more easily translate it to the phone. Next time you are at the gas station or a department store checkout, just pick an item on the counter display and start asking them questions about it.

Might play like this:
Me: "hey, how are you today"
Them: doing alright
Me: well, they day is almost over, so that is good! (I have found that sympathy opens people up sometimes)
Them with a smile: yea, praise the lord
Me: So I was just curious, what would you say is the best selling item up here?
Them: Umm, probably those cigarrillos
Me: really? Not the 5 hour energy?
Them: no, we sell out of these flavored .99 cent cigars as soon as we get them! We are sold out now in fact.

Basically, just talk to people as people and ask them a crap ton of innocent questions to start out. This convo is one I had the other day at a gas station, and now I know that they need a more reliable cigarillo distributor because they keep selling out!

Try it out today!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DeletedUser2]

BALLS SO BIG THEY SHINE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU WALK

thats the comment around the office

Z

 

[DeletedUser394]

Try it out today!

Oddly enough I'm good with striking up random conversations with strangers, it's when I can't see the other person, or don't know ahead of time who's calling/who I'm calling, it's the unknown that gets to me.

Example: Within 1 hour of landing in Phoenix I had a 10 minute conversation at a bus stop with a homeless man who was telling me how he was staying with friends occasionaly, and that their house was full of cats that would shit everywhere. He would go take a shower, and there would be cat shit in the shower. lol

Next day I had a 20 minute conversation with another man from Atlanta while waiting for the bus.

Both were enjoyable experiences.

So with regards to communicating, the only two things that scare me are taking/making phone calls when I don't know who will be on the other end, and women... I'm afraid of women both in person and on the phone lol.

Oh and group situations. I'm uncomfortable in large groups, but fine in 1 on 1 situations.

 

[DeletedUser394]

BALLS SO BIG THEY SHINE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU WALK

thats the comment around the office

Z

How could I forget hahahaha.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[GuestUser8117]

Oddly enough I'm good with striking up random conversations with strangers, it's when I can't see the other person, or don't know ahead of time who's calling/who I'm calling, it's the unknown that gets to me.

Example: Within 1 hour of landing in Phoenix I had a 10 minute conversation at a bus stop with a homeless man who was telling me how he was staying with friends occasionaly, and that their house was full of cats that would shit everywhere. He would go take a shower, and there would be cat shit in the shower. lol

Next day I had a 20 minute conversation with another man from Atlanta while waiting for the bus.

Both were enjoyable experiences.

So with regards to communicating, the only two things that scare me are taking/making phone calls when I don't know who will be on the other end, and women... I'm afraid of women both in person and on the phone lol.

Oh and group situations. I'm uncomfortable in large groups, but fine in 1 on 1 situations.

Practice. Keep telling yourself that "fear is a illusion". The worst that can happen is you mess up. So what. Who cares if you or I mess up? Good post.

 

[hotshot]

I wasn't working enough hours, so I need to find a new one. That scared me, because I'm not sure where my income will come from, and I had grown into being too comfortable at my old job.

That took some shoe-shining balls right there. I'm not sure if you're living on your own but that is a scary feeling having no income.

I'm in the opposite situation, working way too many hours. I was about to quit this week but I'd like to persevere a few more months. The steady paycheck is like crack..

 

[DeletedUser394]

That took some shoe-shining balls right there. I'm not sure if you're living on your own but that is a scary feeling having no income.

I'm in the opposite situation, working way too many hours. I was about to quit this week but I'd like to persevere a few more months. The steady paycheck is like crack..

Not yet living on my own (or at least with roommates.. bloody expensive here), but that's one of the things that I'll be building up to in this thread haha. Within the year.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DeletedUser394]

Believe it or not, I just had my first opportunity to answer the phone at work as I'm the only one here right now (which is not typical). It only took 2 weeks

I didn't die. It was easy. On to the next one. Some lady was trying to sell me newspapers.

My phone conversation skills could use some improvement, but that'll come with practice.

On October 1st I move out of the house. That's another fear taken care of.

 

[Tom.V]

Gotta love balls that dig holes in the ground. It just makes everything you do so much easier. It also helps with making logical and instinctual decisions, which can make or break an operation. Just stay out of your comfort zone and push as hard as you can, it will come. Stay consistent and keep progressing.

 

[JAJT]

My phone conversation skills could use some improvement, but that'll come with practice.

To help with this fear - make it a point to never, ever email or text when a phone call will work.

You might be surprised at how many things people use to have to call each other about.

Does Home Depot carry some widget you need? Look up the number, pick up the phone and ask. Don't surf their website for 5 minutes looking for it - even if it might be quicker. Just call. You never know what "extra" information workers will give you - discounts, deals, reviews, personal experience, whatever. Chat them up.

Want to make plans with friends? Call them.

Hotel reservation? Phone.

Need to ask Mindy down in HR how many vacation days you have left? Call her extension (or better, go see her in person).

Do you have "someday" tasks you haven't gotten around to? Call up a company that specializes in it and chat them up on options. A phone call isn't a contract, just pick their brain.

You probably do SOMETHING every day that you could use the phone for instead of the internet or texting. You don't need to wait 2 weeks between intervals to rely on someone to call you.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DeletedUser394]

To help with this fear - make it a point to never, ever email or text when a phone call will work.

You might be surprised at how many things people use to have to call each other about.

Does Home Depot carry some widget you need? Look up the number, pick up the phone and ask. Don't surf their website for 5 minutes looking for it - even if it might be quicker. Just call. You never know what "extra" information workers will give you - discounts, deals, reviews, personal experience, whatever. Chat them up.

Want to make plans with friends? Call them.

Hotel reservation? Phone.

Need to ask Mindy down in HR how many vacation days you have left? Call her extension (or better, go see her in person).

Do you have "someday" tasks you haven't gotten around to? Call up a company that specializes in it and chat them up on options. A phone call isn't a contract, just pick their brain.

You probably do SOMETHING every day that you could use the phone for instead of the internet or texting. You don't need to wait 2 weeks between intervals to rely on someone to call you.

Great advice for practicing (and I'll definitely implement it), however as for the fear I don't get nervous when I'm the one calling out. I get nervous when I don't know who the other person/institution is that's calling me.

For example if I call my bank, yes I don't know who's going to answer, but I know it's my bank I'm calling.

But answering the phone ain't bad at all in the end. Ended up with around a half dozen calls this afternoon and it was no sweat. It only took me 2 years of working there to realize that the people on the phone aren't going to kill me. :smilielol:

 

[million$$$smile]

Fear is one of the greatest emotions there is. There are so many different kinds of fear that as soon as you think you have one harnessed. a different one can bring that emotion right back up to the surface.

My career for well longer than I care to admit was an ironworker. We would erect steel building, bridges or anything else made of steel. One of my first jobs "breaking in" was hanging iron on a bridge 150 feet over a river. My connecting partner and myself were tying in steel beams between the bridge girders. The ground crew had sent up a 60 foot long beam with a crane with one steel choker balancing the beam in the center. The beam hit the steel beam I was standing on and I lost my balance falling into thin air 150 feet above a rock strewn river.
When your in a situation like that, you end up reaching inside and grabbing a little more. The only thing between me and the river was the balanced beam hanging about 12 feet below me. I caught that beam and it flipped like a windmill and I slid down to the center where the steel choker was. I felt like I had been cut in half but hung on for dear life. The crane operator dropped me down to the ground where before anyone could do anything about it, I cut the steel beam and choker loose and screamed at the operator to send me back up on the hook and headache ball to resume working. He hesitated but when I screamed again, he relented. He sent me up on the crane hook and gracefully dropped me back on the iron.

It happened SO FAST that I myself was still in shock, but I KNEW INSIDE, THAT IF I DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY GET BACK ON THAT BRIDGE AND GO BACK TO WORK, I WOULDN'T EVER GO UP AGAIN.

For weeks afterward, I had nightmares about that experience but I learned to control it, though some days it was tough. I learned from that experience that if I immediately resume what caused the fear and followed through that I could conquer just about any fear that came my way.

BTW, for years after that experience, I had the nickname "Iron Balls" for some crazy reason.

RichKid, keep breaking those fear barriers down. Force yourself to step out of that box, that comfort zone that is only in your mind.

Force yourself to get comfortable in your own skin, and not worry what others will think. (That one sometimes is tougher than one thinks...)

Sorry for the long post. I wasn't trying to hijack the thread.

Good luck!

Randall

 

[Mr. Icy]

Do you have aspergers? I like you bro but you got to man the f up. You got one shot at this thing called life. That's it as we know of. So burn it to the ground and show life who's the Boss. You are the Boss! Now get the *&$& out and be the boss.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Tlcalis]

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.â€

― Frank Herbert, Dune

"Fear is the perception on an unknown threshold.
The more unknowns, the greater the fear. The unknown why, when, what, where, who, and how much have more to do with fear than the actual task or danger itself.
The less control we have to greater our perceived fear. This is why surprise quckly gives way to fear.

The way to conquer fear is to move into and through it.
Imagine it as a veiled, paper-thin mist and just walk through it.
It's like fog: Sometimes a fog seems as dense as stone. You can't see anything through it, it seems to engulf you. But if you keep walking, putting one foot in front of the other, all of a sudden it's gone.
Suddenly you can see everything.

It helps some of my students to image fear as this paper-thin vailed mist. And once you walk through this paper-thin mist, it's clear on te other side. Your fear is behind you"

- Richard "Mack" Machowicz (from his book Unleash The Warrior Within. Former 10 year navy seal veteran)

 

[socaldude]

Fear is an indication that we must open our eyes instead of closing them. What do most people do? They close their eyes and evade, deny and repress. When you open your eyes you grow, change and transcend you CONFRONT. Fear is simply your imagination getting the best of you. Use your imagination to your advantage and practice optimism.

Fear is an indication that we are stuck in the future. We are too concerned with trying to predict an outcome in the near future of which we are sure will painful. Likewise Rumination and longing means we are stuck in the past. Lose yourself in the moment and you will find common fears will disappear because they all have their roots in the future and past which has NOTHING to do with the present moment. You CAN'T predict the future so there is no use in being afraid. Whatever happens happens.

Self-Confidence just means SELF TRUST. The "Self" is the mind and "Confidence" is trust. We TRUST our MIND to be an effective tool for whatever the context maybe: A romantic date , a business meeting or a public event.

You can't predict anything so the best method is to simply TRUST yourself that your mind is an effective tool to handle challenges.

Living in the moment has a tremendous liberating joy to it. Don't be afraid of the future and don't dwell on the past.

Look at people with depression and anxiety they are all either stuck in the future or stuck in the past. Fear, longing, rumination, regret etc.

 

[FastLearner]

Fear is an indication that we must open our eyes instead of closing them. What do most people do? They close their eyes and evade, deny and repress. When you open your eyes you grow, change and transcend you CONFRONT. Fear is simply your imagination getting the best of you. Use your imagination to your advantage and practice optimism.

Well said! :eusa_clap:

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[socaldude]

I have too many irrational fears and I seldom leave my comfort zone,

Make reality your comfort zone not the imaginary thoughts in your head. Your comfort zone is just an imaginary web of thoughts and beliefs in your head that tell you what your capable of and competent at. There are no limitations in reality except the ones you allow your mind to present and interfere. Fall in love with the possibilities and uncertainty of life / reality and I guarantee you will never be afraid of anything irrational. Instead fear will turn into excitement, thrill and satisfaction.

When you adopt reality as your comfort zone you look OUTWARD as to what is possible you don't focus INWARD. Life is intrinsically uncertain, accept it and love it. The same way one person loves skydiving while the others dreads it. Adopt an attitude of love towards reality no matter how scary it can seem sometimes. Make the universe your comfort zone not your mind.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Well that's another bs fear completely eradicated. No more fear of the phone. Answered it all afternoon for the past few days. Boss couldn't believe it.

Killed a lifelong fear in a couple of days.

Anyway, on to the next one.