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INTRO Goodbye to "It's virtuous to not make money"

Bekit

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Hi everyone, great to be here on the forum with you all. I am just starting my journey towards breaking the "slow lane" mindset that I was raised with, including...
  • It's virtuous to not make money.
  • Minimum wage jobs are normal, and a "stretch goal" would be a few dollars per hour more than that.
  • As a woman, I probably shouldn't be working at all, but if I do have to work, I'm worth $50k/year max.
  • The best option to make ends meet is to take on another part-time job. In fact, I should expect to probably have to work two or three jobs for life.
After living with that kind of mentality for too many years, I'm sick and tired of it and looking for a way out. I'm grappling with the mindset issues that hold me back. I'm gradually learning a new way of thinking while constantly wondering, "Can this really be true?" (Case in point: Defining what you want to make and reverse engineering what you need to do to get there. That sounds to me like a pipe dream. And yet I'm seeing the truth of the fact that it's only impossible if I believe it to be. )

In the meantime, I'm just barely surviving, loaded with debt, not breaking even (i.e. spending more than I make each month) and definitely not even covering the basics (like retirement, health care, saving for a new vehicle, etc). But I've come to a sense of desperation and frustration and said, "Enough is enough."

I am intelligent. I'm good at what I do. I have unlimited potential. And I have hope that since there is a completely different approach out there than the one I've used so far, that things can be very different than what I've known. For now, I'm attempting to use my copywriting skills to steer me towards a better income, but I am open to using any (ethical) mechanism that can help me to get there, and I am operating under a "whatever-it-takes" mentality with a red-hot drive to make up for lost time.

So I look forward to learning from you all and steeping in these new ideas until they start to become part of my mindset and lead to great outcomes.

*Edit* I started a progress thread here: Slowlane until age 36--and then--this happened
 

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MJ DeMarco

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Welcome to the board Rebekah! If you haven't yet, check out the books that this forum is based upon.

Don't Just Build a Business... Build A Life!

We're all about FREEDOM and we understand that money plays a pivotal role in that function.

You can make as much $$$ as the mathematics allows for, and it has nothing to do with race, gender, etc!

:thumbsup:
 
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Bekit

Bekit

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Welcome to the board Rebekah! If you haven't yet, check out the books that this forum is based upon.

Don't Just Build a Business... Build A Life!

We're all about FREEDOM and we understand that money plays a pivotal role in that function.

You can make as much $$$ as the mathematics allows for, and it has nothing to do with race, gender, etc!

:thumbsup:
Thank you so much, MJ! I'm honored to be taking my first baby steps into this. Appreciate your encouragement!
 
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Bekit

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Andy Black

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Welcome, and thanks for your intro.

It's virtuous to not make money.
On the matter of this ^^^, have a look at MJ's quote in my signature. Once you think about it that way then how can it be a bad thing to make (earn) money?
 
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Bekit

Bekit

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Welcome, and thanks for your intro.
On the matter of this ^^^, have a look at MJ's quote in my signature. Once you think about it that way then how can it be a bad thing to make (earn) money?
@AndyBlack, thanks for the welcome, and wow! That is a GREAT POINT!

I heard someone else recently make a similar point... they said that your impact and wealth goals have to be in alignment with each other. If your goal is to give one sandwich to a homeless person once, then your wealth goal can be very small. But if your goal is to feed all the homeless people in a city for a year, you need to increase your wealth goal accordingly.

Money does indeed let you do more good. And yet, it's amazing how the opposite paradigm ("seek to attain the virtue of complete detachment from wanting things") can hold on tight.

It's the repetition of thoughts like these (MJ's quote) that I need, probably again and again, to fully break the parts of my mindset that are problematic. Who I hang out with will influence who I become. So thanks for highlighting that.

I look forward to reporting on the progress of my future success story. And being able to point back to this post in one year or five years and say, "WHOA, look how far I've come."
 

Kak

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Hi everyone, great to be here on the forum with you all. I am just starting my journey towards breaking the "slow lane" mindset that I was raised with, including...
  • It's virtuous to not make money.
  • Minimum wage jobs are normal, and a "stretch goal" would be a few dollars per hour more than that.
  • As a woman, I probably shouldn't be working at all, but if I do have to work, I'm worth $50k/year max.
  • The best option to make ends meet is to take on another part-time job. In fact, I should expect to probably have to work two or three jobs for life.
After living with that kind of mentality for too many years, I'm sick and tired of it and looking for a way out. I'm grappling with the mindset issues that hold me back. I'm gradually learning a new way of thinking while constantly wondering, "Can this really be true?" (Case in point: Defining what you want to make and reverse engineering what you need to do to get there. That sounds to me like a pipe dream. And yet I'm seeing the truth of the fact that it's only impossible if I believe it to be. )

In the meantime, I'm just barely surviving, loaded with debt, not breaking even (i.e. spending more than I make each month) and definitely not even covering the basics (like retirement, health care, saving for a new vehicle, etc). But I've come to a sense of desperation and frustration and said, "Enough is enough."

I am intelligent. I'm good at what I do. I have unlimited potential. And I have hope that since there is a completely different approach out there than the one I've used so far, that things can be very different than what I've known. For now, I'm attempting to use my copywriting skills to steer me towards a better income, but I am open to using any (ethical) mechanism that can help me to get there, and I am operating under a "whatever-it-takes" mentality with a red-hot drive to make up for lost time.

So I look forward to learning from you all and steeping in these new ideas until they start to become part of my mindset and lead to great outcomes.
Great opening post! I would steer you away from freelancing and more to building a business. I can recommend you read E-Myth (in addition to MJs books) to get your mind right on the type of system you want to own.

Not only is it not even close to virtuous to be poor... it is virtuous to be the best you can be. In a capitalist country you are literally providing value and jobs to others as you make clean and ethical money. I encourage you to get as rich as ethically possible... Why? Because it means you left your mark. Who better to trust with the wealth of the nation than the ones who build and provide the world's true value?

Other than that! Welcome! Your post reads of future greatness.
 
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Bekit

Bekit

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Great opening post! I would steer you away from freelancing and more to building a business. I can recommend you read E-Myth (in addition to MJs books) to get your mind right on the type of system you want to own.

Not only is it not even close to virtuous to be poor... it is virtuous to be the best you can be. In a capitalist country you are literally providing value and jobs to others as you make clean and ethical money. I encourage you to get as rich as ethically possible... Why? Because it means you left your mark. Who better to trust with the wealth of the nation than the ones who build and provide the world's true value?

Other than that! Welcome! Your post reads of future greatness.
Thank you, @Kak. This made me smile. I'm grateful for the encouragement. And I so strongly and deeply resonate with what you said. I think that it's innate within me to reach for greatness, for the very *best* version of myself that I can be... and I'm not content to shrug and settle for mediocrity.

This may be just "beginner's blindness" not to know the answer to this, but what is the difference between freelancing and building a business as a copywriter? Because pursuing freelance work was what I was attempting to do...

I'm starting on MJ's books now!

*Edit* Regarding the question I asked you, I just read your breakdown of different types of businesses on this post and it helped! Think big and then think bigger than that.
 
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amp0193

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In the meantime, I'm just barely surviving, loaded with debt, not breaking even (i.e. spending more than I make each month)
For now, I'm attempting to use my copywriting skills to steer me towards a better income
Working on upping the income is important, but also important (and arguably, easier to do) is to dramatically cut your expenses.

I'd recommend checking out the blog www.mrmoneymustache.com/ and reading through some of the "most popular" posts. He's kicked a lot of people's asses into gear when it comes to getting spending in check.

Become a brilliant copywriter, make millions, and then spend however you damn well please. But for now... get your house in order.

Welcome to the forum!
 
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Bekit

Bekit

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Working on upping the income is important, but also important (and arguably, easier to do) is to dramatically cut your expenses.

I'd recommend checking out the blog www.mrmoneymustache.com/ and reading through some of the "most popular" posts. He's kicked a lot of people's asses into gear when it comes to getting spending in check.

Become a brilliant copywriter, make millions, and then spend however you damn well please. But for now... get your house in order.

Welcome to the forum!
Thank you so much! Yes, I agree. It's a hair-on-fire emergency to get my house in order. I got married a year ago and had zero debt, and in one year, I've gotten myself into deep doo-doo, which has left me terrified and ashamed at myself for neglecting to pay sufficient attention to our finances to let them get to this point. So... it is what it is. I can't undo the past, but I have choices and a brain and I'm jolly well going to make the best that I can of these circumstances.

I've frozen spending on everything and cut back on food almost to the "beans and rice" level. At this moment in time, it's not possible for me to cut expenses down further, but I'm still not at the break-even point, and wouldn't be able to get there without selling my house. And that's a step I'm reluctant to take if I have ANY alternative, as rental places in the local area will only be $200-300 less than my mortgage. So for now the focus is on taking dramatic action to make myself a viable contributor to the marketplace in a way that will result in wages. :) Plus my husband is taking on a part-time job. *Takes a deep breath* Things will be different. Soon.
 

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Bekit

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Thanks for your words, @lowtek ! It's still a work in progress... the chains aren't quite gone yet... but thankfully I've found a whole collection of insanely helpful people who can give me a good dose of this new way of thinking. Looking forward to learning a lot (and especially, to seeing the progress follow)!
 

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Welcome to the Fastlane community, @Rebekah.

I am intelligent. I'm good at what I do. I have unlimited potential. And I have hope that since there is a completely different approach out there than the one I've used so far, that things can be very different than what I've known. For now, I'm attempting to use my copywriting skills to steer me towards a better income, but I am open to using any (ethical) mechanism that can help me to get there, and I am operating under a "whatever-it-takes" mentality with a red-hot drive to make up for lost time.
In times like this, it's critically important to dwell on the haves and not allow your critical self to drown your spirit in the have-nots. Glad you figured that one out already!

I just read your progress thread, and yes, I'm convinced your "red-hot drive" will more than make for any "lost time" (I like to think of this as learning time).

Godspeed!
 
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Bekit

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Welcome to the Fastlane community, @Rebekah.



In times like this, it's critically important to dwell on the haves and not allow your critical self to drown your spirit in the have-nots. Glad you figured that one out already!

I just read your progress thread, and yes, I'm convinced your "red-hot drive" will more than make for any "lost time" (I like to think of this as learning time).

Godspeed!
Thank you so much, @George Appiah ! Appreciate your encouragement!
 
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Bekit

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Why thank you, @The Abundant Man ...

The only question is, is it the red pill vs the blue pill?

Or have I now woken up with a jolt and realized that THIS is real, sane, concrete, and logical, while almost everyone around me is still walking around in a foggy dreamland and they're the ones who will go down a (nightmare) rabbit hole?

Gave me food for thought anyway...
 

The Abundant Man

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Why thank you, @The Abundant Man ...

The only question is, is it the red pill vs the blue pill?

Or have I now woken up with a jolt and realized that THIS is real, sane, concrete, and logical, while almost everyone around me is still walking around in a foggy dreamland and they're the ones who will go down a (nightmare) rabbit hole?

Gave me food for thought anyway...
Think about the movie. Neo is this regular guy names Anderson. He's a computer programmer. Day in and day out he goes to work. He does the same thing everyday.

At night he creates a persona as Neo where he's a computer hacker. But again he still does the same thing over and over again. It's not until he gets a message from a username: Alice(Reference to Alice In Wonderland) That night he meets Trinity. It's through Trinity that he escapes. (The romance is overdone in the sequels)

Before all this, he never knew anything about The Matrix nor Morpheus nor Zion etc. It's a classic Hero's Journey. (Star Wars is a perfect example where Luke is a farmboy all of a sudden thrust upon a great grand adventure)

The Blue Pill keeps him in ignorance. He goes back to being a regular computer programmer for some random company and back to doing the same thing over and over again. The Red Pill exposes the lies and brings out the truth that he's been living in this virtual world where he's just under control. (Machines use humans as batteries but the machines created The Matrix as a fantasy to keep them ignorant)

That's the point. As through the sequels(which were a mess) he meets these people that are preprogrammed in the matrix. They just follow what they're programmed to do.

In the movie, the Agents are the controllers or guardians where they try to prevent from people escaping the matrix. At the end of the movie, Neo stands up for himself and fights Agent Smith. Morpheus says, "he's beginning to believe."

In the scene with The Oracle, he meets a boy with a spoon. He notices that the spoon moves with the boys head. He asks how he does it? The boy tells him there is no spoon. The point of this is that "you create your own reality" (This goes back to Plato's Theory of Forms)

The movie is escapism but The Wachowskis clearly had the movie as an allegory or metaphor of regular people to escape "The Matrix" and gain control of our lives.
 
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Bekit

Bekit

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Think about the movie. Neo is this regular guy names Anderson. He's a computer programmer. Day in and day out he goes to work. He does the same thing everyday.

At night he creates a persona as Neo where he's a computer hacker. But again he still does the same thing over and over again. It's not until he gets a message from a username: Alice(Reference to Alice In Wonderland) That night he meets Trinity. It's through Trinity that he escapes. (The romance is overdone in the sequels)

Before all this, he never knew anything about The Matrix nor Morpheus nor Zion etc. It's a classic Hero's Journey. (Star Wars is a perfect example where Luke is a farmboy all of a sudden thrust upon a great grand adventure)

The Blue Pill keeps him in ignorance. He goes back to being a regular computer programmer for some random company and back to doing the same thing over and over again. The Red Pill exposes the lies and brings out the truth that he's been living in this virtual world where he's just under control. (Machines use humans as batteries but the machines created The Matrix as a fantasy to keep them ignorant)

That's the point. As through the sequels(which were a mess) he meets these people that are preprogrammed in the matrix. They just follow what they're programmed to do.

In the movie, the Agents are the controllers or guardians where they try to prevent from people escaping the matrix. At the end of the movie, Neo stands up for himself and fights Agent Smith. Morpheus says, "he's beginning to believe."

In the scene with The Oracle, he meets a boy with a spoon. He notices that the spoon moves with the boys head. He asks how he does it? The boy tells him there is no spoon. The point of this is that "you create your own reality" (This goes back to Plato's Theory of Forms)

The movie is escapism but The Wachowskis clearly had the movie as an allegory or metaphor of regular people to escape "The Matrix" and gain control of our lives.
Makes sense. Sometimes I can overthink things.. Here's to gaining control of our lives!
 

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