Girlfriend pregnant on execution

[drpeppehr]

You thought you had to move to a different country to make a website? That shows me you haven't done research. You can build your company anywhere if it's online. This shows me that you were not ready to go hard.

Now, you have to go hard. It will be the best thing to ever happen to you. You will feel so much relief, so blessed when you hold your son/daughter in your arms and you will think "I have to do my best to take care of my kin."

NBA players have kids and they still go hard throughout the season. Entrepreneur's have family's too. Delete these bullshit excuses out of your brains storage that it somehow affects you and your time. Learn to enjoy her company. Don't stress about the future, the only thing you have is right now.

Good luck brother. This forum is your gold mine of information, but only you can change your lifestyle through it.

 

[Kevin88660]

My biggest fear was always getting someone pregnant before reaching my goals, and now it just happened.

A few months ago i was planning on leaving my town to launch my dream website and now I'm stuck with news from my girlfriend (she's pregnant)

My plan was to escape detraction enough for me to have plenty of time and inspiration to start my website... everything is in place and i was ready to leave.
I Know alot of guys who got stuck in their lives (including my dad) because they had to raise a family and i fear the same will happen to me. I will be honest and tell you that since im already 32, i was ready to have my first kid but having such a clingy relationship with a woman right now is a problem for me for the following reasons:

• I haven't reached my Goals
• I have very little time to myself now because she always shows up and does not care about my private space
• She wants what she wants and don't care what i think
• My age says its time to start a family but my dream says not right now
• she's ready and I'm not
• She had a plan of having a baby before i even met her

I know lots of people would ask me if i love her but the answer is - I don't know... and the reason is that my heart is not condition to love anyone yet.
I want the baby but i feel suffocated by the mother...

Most wealth building books will tell us about building a business, numbers and scaling but topics like these rarely pop up... I'm stuck here guys.

I dont know what to do!!!

I have some questions.

1) Did you use a condom? What birth control measures did two of you adopt? I am just curious to know what went wrong so that everyone can learn.

2) I want you to be honest with yourself when you say you do not know if you love her. What does that mean because to me it sounds like a smoke screen, especially you are not averse to having a children. Do you think that you might find someone better in the future? Is that the real issue because you seem to be unsatisfied with her? How old is her? Do you think she is not hot enough for you? I am asking this because those things you mentioned do not seem to be that important. Of course My guesses could be wrong because I do not know you.

 

[Mattie]

• I haven't reached my Goals
• I have very little time to myself now because she always shows up and does not care about my private space
• She wants what she wants and don't care what i think
• My age says its time to start a family but my dream says not right now
• she's ready and I'm not
• She had a plan of having a baby before i even met her

I would focus on your goals number one. Although it just comes with the territory of making babies, if you play the part, your responsibility is there whether you stay with the woman or not.

Really, it's not a good idea to get married unless you know 100% you love the woman. A baby doesn't keep a relationship together.

I believe this is a tough lesson for the feminine sometimes when they don't think about the consequences and protect themselves. Sure, it sounds like a great idea to have a baby before you can support one, but a whole different story when the reality hits.

Fortunately, you just have to be honest with her. And sure her feelings might get hurt, but really bringing a child into the world without two parents who can afford it number one or who are not in alignment with the same goals is always quite difficult.

Obviously, focusing on your goals and succeeding really determines the outcome either way. You still have to support yourself or a family.

You just have to both own it and make the best choices you can along the way.

 

[Mattie]

i certainly can afford a baby mattie but i wanted my babies life to be perfect, that is why im concerned. i guess i have about 8 months to make my business... the count is on.

as for the mother... still not sure. guess i need time to decide.

thank you for the comment brother...

From experience, in 1995, I was a single mother. Really, I put my child first, and sacrificed a lot, while the father did something different. And it was better this way. And really, I learned your example is what matters and teaching them to what's right, have morals, have ethics, and to succeed. Really, you don't need two parents to do this. And sure, we've had our ups and downs and always will through out our lifetime. There is no perfect family. There is no perfect answer. Life is what it is as you go along on the journey of life.

Every family is different. Every child is different. Thankfully, I only had one. But, others have many and never quite evolve, grow, and mature, or to teach their children to do the same.

 

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[Mattie]

At the back of my mind i did want a kid but not so sure about the mother coz lately shes been showing her true colors...

How long have you know this person?

 

[ChrisV]

What to do? Just be honest. Tell her exactly what you told us.

Then tell her that you're not sure if you're going to be in that childs life and maybe you'd prefer to jjust pay child support. She's trying to manipulate you into a situation. Fight that.

 

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[Tourmaline]

I wouldn't say to impress your kid. Rather, to give him the option to not have to work, to give yourself freedom to spend as much time with him as you want, to be able to provide him more opportunities than you had.

 

[Matt Sun]

“Choose someone whose way of life as well as words, and whose very face as mirroring the character that lies behind it, have won your approval. Be always pointing him out to yourself either as your guardian or as your model. This is a need, in my view, for someone as a standard against which our characters can measure themselves. Without a ruler to do it against you won’t make the crooked straight.” — Seneca, Letters From a Stoic

 

[ChrisV]

Part of man’s drive in money and ambition inevitably is about having access to quality girls. Some care about it more and some cared about it less.

What are you.. a 12 year old dude bro? People actually think like this?

I'm voting this the #1 worst piece of advice ever posted on this forum. This makes Andrew look like an actual role model.

Well from an evolutionary standpoint, that part of the post is actually right. I mean the rest of the post was complete Word Salad, but that part was correct. Much of the male drive for status and wealth comes from our desire to attract quality mates, which signals to females that you have the resources to properly provide for your children if you should have some. Then if you have children, that drive doesn't go away because now the goal becomes properly providing for your family. So for the people saying having children will kill your ambition... no.

The rest of the post took too much horsepower to understand, so I hit the brakes.

 

[S.Y.]

Well from an evolutionary standpoint, that part of the post is actually right. I mean the rest of the post was complete Word Salad, but that part was correct. Much of the male drive for status and wealth comes from our desire to attract quality mates, which signals to females that you have the resources to properly provide for your children if you should have some. Then if you have children, that drive doesn't go away because now the goal becomes properly providing for your family. So for the people saying having children will kill your ambition... no.

The rest of the post took too much horsepower to understand, so I hit the brakes.

True.

But taking in account the context, I side with @Scott

OP needs to man up. And stop finding reasons to fail. I would even go as far as to say that he is giving himself reasons to fail, in life and in business.

He got a woman pregnant. He should change his mindset to be there for the kid WHILE working on his ventures.

He should see himself being as a successful father entrepreneur and then prove himself right.

Most time here people see the wealth aspect of the Fastlane. And forget health and relationship.

This is one those case. Win at life.

 

[Dan_Fastlane]

take F*cking responsibility for what u did!!

If you make a mistake in business, what you are doing? leaving Africa? ridiculous

 

[lunga ngcobo]

take F*cking responsibility for what u did!!

If you make a mistake in business, what you are doing? leaving Africa? ridiculous

I'll take the baby with me Van...

 

[Tourmaline]

I'll take the baby with me Van...

Can't tell if you're joking or not. A child needs its mother, especially before the age of 2. Ever heard of the fourth trimester for example? Plus, if you're raising the kid mostly by yourself you will have such little time compared to if the mother is doing most of the sleeping/caring while you give her slack.

Learn to handle your baby's mama well and give her what she needs to be happy(that doesn't mean give her everything she asks for lmao).

 

[SkyLake]

Plans very rarely work as you planned them. You just adjust your approach along the way.

Having a kid is one of the greatest joys of life. If your approach is to turn it into an excuse for not reaching your goals, that is your mindset.

 

[Champion]

Dont have any experience of raising a kid, but sometimes I feel similar to how you just described the situation with your girlfriend (that she is suffocating you).

If you havent read "Men are from mars, women are from venus", I would suggest you take a look at it.

The basic idea in the book is that the man needs his "cave" and alone time, where he gets to work on his projects, at the same time however, your woman needs time dedicated to where you listen and give her your full attention.

Its time to get disciplined! If I was you, I would cut down on sleep and use the extra time to work on your biz and also to give your girlfriend the attention that she needs, so you can be alone in return.

Just some ideas to get you out of the desperation:

- can your parents help with raising the child?
- can her parents help with raising the child?

Im sure you can find a way, just think of the positives in the situation and use it to make that fire under your a$$ burn even stronger and get shit done!

Best

 

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[MarkHenry]

Be careful and think more before you take any decision.

One thing I want to say, don't take any decision against the kid. He was not at fault. He is innocent in this case.

Take care of yourself.

Thanks anyway!

 

[lunga ngcobo]

Dont have any experience of raising a kid, but sometimes I feel similar to how you just described the situation with your girlfriend (that she is suffocating you).

If you havent read "Men are from mars, women are from venus", I would suggest you take a look at it.

The basic idea in the book is that the man needs his "cave" and alone time, where he gets to work on his projects, at the same time however, your woman needs time dedicated to where you listen and give her your full attention.

Its time to get disciplined! If I was you, I would cut down on sleep and use the extra time to work on your biz and also to give your girlfriend the attention that she needs, so you can be alone in return.

Just some ideas to get you out of the desperation:

- can your parents help with raising the child?
- can her parents help with raising the child?

Im sure you can find a way, just think of the positives in the situation and use it to make that fire under your a$$ burn even stronger and get shit done!

Best

finaly someone who fully understands my situation... usually im used to spending time alone and now all of a sudden i have no time to myself. you advice is perfect and i will read the book you recommended. thanks bro!!

 

[Champion]

finaly someone who fully understands my situation... usually im used to spending time alone and now all of a sudden i have no time to myself. you advice is perfect and i will read the book you recommended. thanks bro!!

No worries bro, read the book first and then give it for your partner to read!

I also suggest taking a look at "Crucial Conversations" by Joseph Grenny, Al Switzler, Ron McMillan.

Best
Champion

 

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[Tourmaline]

No worries bro, read the book first and then give it for your partner to read!

I also suggest taking a look at "Crucial Conversations" by Joseph Grenny, Al Switzler, Ron McMillan.

Best
Champion

Crucial Conversations is excellent. Pretty amazing how so many things are affected by talking about what needs to be talked about...or not!

 

[lunga ngcobo]

No worries bro, read the book first and then give it for your partner to read!

I also suggest taking a look at "Crucial Conversations" by Joseph Grenny, Al Switzler, Ron McMillan.

Best
Champion

thank you champ

 

[Val Okafor]

My biggest fear was always getting someone pregnant before reaching my goals, and now it just happened.

A few months ago i was planning on leaving my town to launch my dream website and now I'm stuck with news from my girlfriend (she's pregnant)

My plan was to escape detraction enough for me to have plenty of time and inspiration to start my website... everything is in place and i was ready to leave.
I Know alot of guys who got stuck in their lives (including my dad) because they had to raise a family and i fear the same will happen to me. I will be honest and tell you that since im already 32, i was ready to have my first kid but having such a clingy relationship with a woman right now is a problem for me for the following reasons:

• I haven't reached my Goals
• I have very little time to myself now because she always shows up and does not care about my private space
• She wants what she wants and don't care what i think
• My age says its time to start a family but my dream says not right now
• she's ready and I'm not
• She had a plan of having a baby before i even met her

I know lots of people would ask me if i love her but the answer is - I don't know... and the reason is that my heart is not condition to love anyone yet.
I want the baby but i feel suffocated by the mother...

Most wealth building books will tell us about building a business, numbers and scaling but topics like these rarely pop up... I'm stuck here guys.

I dont know what to do!!!

Bro, believe it or not, All things work together for Good!. Barack Obama once said that he does not deal with the world as he wishes it to be, he deals with the world as it is. And the reality is that your world is not as you wish it to be ( which is to take a productivity break) but your world is that you have a baby on the way. The good thing is that I did not hear abortion as an option.

Embrace it, Bro, it's your world as is. Have a modest wedding asap and start a family. Will that delay your dream - yes. Would that make your dream more challenging - yes, would that kill your dream - absolutely No. Here is what I would do if I were you (actually I was in a similar situation a while ago). I would find ways increase your current take-home pay in line of work.

I mean if there is room for growth in what you do currently, seek to become more valuable and earn more. Because you can use the extra money to pay for someone to build that website for you. Here is a summary of how I did it: when I met my wife she was more than ready to have kids, the matter of fact age is not on our side, less than a year later she was pregnant. The issue is I am 32, always wanted to be an entrepreneur and was making $12 an hour doing tech support. Three kids later, I am still making $17 an hour, trying eBay, Craigslist stuff on the side with little success, then, I pivoted.

I thought myself how to code, in the midst of little kids, went to school and got bachelors and masters degree with little kids. Now I am earning solid six figures (not a lot of money in California) with a highly sought after skill. And what about the entrepreneurial dream? Sure it is delayed but not denied. I have a dead set time to transition. I am already earning income from my digital products and kids are super excited watching my transition. The downside is that I have little to no personal or social life these past 12 years and I suspect that it could be same for you.

Overall all thing had worked together for good for me and I hope it will for you, but you must first deal with the world as it is and not as you are wishing it to be. And for that website, not knowing what type of website you want to launch I will suggest you start with a Shopify Store today or as soon as possible. It is easy to launch, it can start earning money soon, it keeps your entrepreneurial dream alive and allows you to have more time to do them diaper changes - it's coming.

Good luck.

 

[stephen kageche]

My biggest fear was always getting someone pregnant before reaching my goals, and now it just happened.

A few months ago i was planning on leaving my town to launch my dream website and now I'm stuck with news from my girlfriend (she's pregnant)

My plan was to escape detraction enough for me to have plenty of time and inspiration to start my website... everything is in place and i was ready to leave.
I Know alot of guys who got stuck in their lives (including my dad) because they had to raise a family and i fear the same will happen to me. I will be honest and tell you that since im already 32, i was ready to have my first kid but having such a clingy relationship with a woman right now is a problem for me for the following reasons:

• I haven't reached my Goals
• I have very little time to myself now because she always shows up and does not care about my private space
• She wants what she wants and don't care what i think
• My age says its time to start a family but my dream says not right now
• she's ready and I'm not
• She had a plan of having a baby before i even met her

I know lots of people would ask me if i love her but the answer is - I don't know... and the reason is that my heart is not condition to love anyone yet.
I want the baby but i feel suffocated by the mother...

Most wealth building books will tell us about building a business, numbers and scaling but topics like these rarely pop up... I'm stuck here guys.

I dont know what to do!!!

You just have to accept the circumstances and the situation you are into,sit your girlfriend down tell her what you want out of your life and figure it out how to make it work because you have to take a responsibility .Regards

 

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[FierceRacoon]

My take is, make a decision:
- if you want to raise a child with her, embrace it.

- if you don't, tell her. Tell her that you don't want a child, that she will be a single mother and whatever else you can come up with. She may just choose to do an abortion or to find another dude. If that works out and you can walk away without paying child support, then do it and never see her again.

In my view, don't even for a second worry about the moral dilemma. The harm of raising an unwanted child in the atmosphere of manipulation is great. If you don't trust her, I'd say, better to pay child support if unavoidable, cut the losses and find a way to make even more money... just my take anyway.

 

[lunga ngcobo]

Bro, believe it or not, All things work together for Good!. Barack Obama once said that he does not deal with the world as he wishes it to be, he deals with the world as it is. And the reality is that your world is not as you wish it to be ( which is to take a productivity break) but your world is that you have a baby on the way. The good thing is that I did not hear abortion as an option.

Embrace it, Bro, it's your world as is. Have a modest wedding asap and start a family. Will that delay your dream - yes. Would that make your dream more challenging - yes, would that kill your dream - absolutely No. Here is what I would do if I were you (actually I was in a similar situation a while ago). I would find ways increase your current take-home pay in line of work.

I mean if there is room for growth in what you do currently, seek to become more valuable and earn more. Because you can use the extra money to pay for someone to build that website for you. Here is a summary of how I did it: when I met my wife she was more than ready to have kids, the matter of fact age is not on our side, less than a year later she was pregnant. The issue is I am 32, always wanted to be an entrepreneur and was making $12 an hour doing tech support. Three kids later, I am still making $17 an hour, trying eBay, Craigslist stuff on the side with little success, then, I pivoted.

I thought myself how to code, in the midst of little kids, went to school and got bachelors and masters degree with little kids. Now I am earning solid six figures (not a lot of money in California) with a highly sought after skill. And what about the entrepreneurial dream? Sure it is delayed but not denied. I have a dead set time to transition. I am already earning income from my digital products and kids are super excited watching my transition. The downside is that I have little to no personal or social life these past 12 years and I suspect that it could be same for you.

Overall all thing had worked together for good for me and I hope it will for you, but you must first deal with the world as it is and not as you are wishing it to be. And for that website, not knowing what type of website you want to launch I will suggest you start with a Shopify Store today or as soon as possible. It is easy to launch, it can start earning money soon, it keeps your entrepreneurial dream alive and allows you to have more time to do them diaper changes - it's coming.

Good luck.

thanks Oval. your comment really inspires me. actually i have rental property at the moment. startiing a website will take time as i figuared. so i have decide to continue building my rental business... and i have made the right decision. thanks to the forum, now my income is increasing and i project that my income will be more than double by the time this baby is born.

thanks bro...

 

[lunga ngcobo]

My take is, make a decision:
- if you want to raise a child with her, embrace it.

- if you don't, tell her. Tell her that you don't want a child, that she will be a single mother and whatever else you can come up with. She may just choose to do an abortion or to find another dude. If that works out and you can walk away without paying child support, then do it and never see her again.

In my view, don't even for a second worry about the moral dilemma. The harm of raising an unwanted child in the atmosphere of manipulation is great. If you don't trust her, I'd say, better to pay child support if unavoidable, cut the losses and find a way to make even more money... just my take anyway.

hmmm... Strong words there Fierce. I have to admit that i do want a baby but im not sure if im ready for a relationship with the mom.

the fact is i have known this woman for such a short period thats its hard for me to just let her into my life. let me just give her a bit of time to show me who she is. the baby, i definitely want that in my life but the mom... hmmm... not so sure...

 

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[lunga ngcobo]

My biggest fear was always getting someone pregnant before reaching my goals, and now it just happened.

A few months ago i was planning on leaving my town to launch my dream website and now I'm stuck with news from my girlfriend (she's pregnant)

My plan was to escape detraction enough for me to have plenty of time and inspiration to start my website... everything is in place and i was ready to leave.
I Know alot of guys who got stuck in their lives (including my dad) because they had to raise a family and i fear the same will happen to me. I will be honest and tell you that since im already 32, i was ready to have my first kid but having such a clingy relationship with a woman right now is a problem for me for the following reasons:

• I haven't reached my Goals
• I have very little time to myself now because she always shows up and does not care about my private space
• She wants what she wants and don't care what i think
• My age says its time to start a family but my dream says not right now
• she's ready and I'm not
• She had a plan of having a baby before i even met her

I know lots of people would ask me if i love her but the answer is - I don't know... and the reason is that my heart is not condition to love anyone yet.
I want the baby but i feel suffocated by the mother...

Most wealth building books will tell us about building a business, numbers and scaling but topics like these rarely pop up... I'm stuck here guys.

I dont know what to do!!!

 

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[100k]

Good luck.

 

[lunga ngcobo]

I would focus on your goals number one. Although it just comes with the territory of making babies, if you play the part, your responsibility is there whether you stay with the woman or not.

Really, it's not a good idea to get married unless you know 100% you love the woman. A baby doesn't keep a relationship together.

I believe this is a tough lesson for the feminine sometimes when they don't think about the consequences and protect themselves. Sure, it sounds like a great idea to have a baby before you can support one, but a whole different story when the reality hits.

Fortunately, you just have to be honest with her. And sure her feelings might get hurt, but really bringing a child into the world without two parents who can afford it number one or who are not in alignment with the same goals is always quite difficult.

Obviously, focusing on your goals and succeeding really determines the outcome either way. You still have to support yourself or a family.

You just have to both own it and make the best choices you can along the way.

i certainly can afford a baby mattie but i wanted my babies life to be perfect, that is why im concerned. i guess i have about 8 months to make my business... the count is on.

as for the mother... still not sure. guess i need time to decide.

thank you for the comment brother...

 

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[lunga ngcobo]

Having a kid can light a fire under your a$$ too! Make the best of it. Now you have something more to succeed for than just yourself, you have a legacy to pass on to.

lol, thats is certainly a good reason to pursue my millionaire dream... to impress my kid!

im glad i posted this thread... now i feel i have new beginnings ... thank you cuz

 

[lunga ngcobo]

I have some questions.

1) Did you use a condom? What birth control measures did two of you adopt? I am just curious to know what went wrong so that everyone can learn.

2) I want you to be honest with yourself when you say you do not know if you love her. What does that mean because to me it sounds like a smoke screen, especially you are not averse to having a children. Do you think that you might find someone better in the future? Is that the real issue because you seem to be unsatisfied with her? How old is her? Do you think she is not hot enough for you? I am asking this because those things you mentioned do not seem to be that important. Of course My guesses could be wrong because I do not know you.

Actually in my mind i always though you had better options in everything when you are richer and i thought committing to someone before success would blow back badly... but reading these comments just made me realise that life beggins at any stage and mybe i shoud just give this new thinking.
i guess my dream of banging celebrities and supermodels when i get richer has nothing to do with starting a real family.

thanks for the comment Kev. you made a difference in my thinking...