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INTRO From where I stand

Discussion in 'Forum Introductions (Who are you!?)' started by Val77, Mar 2, 2019.

  1. Val77
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    Val77 New Contributor

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    Hi


    I just wanted to present myself. I subscribe to the forums 2 weekend ago.

    But I will start with the harsh reality. I doubt that I’ll be participating much. Why? Because I’ve been in forums before and seen how it can be a waste of time that can seem, at the time valuable. That in fact it is action in disguise, and I refuse to do that. I’ll certainly read and take the valuable information that I can find here, but I will limit myself to that for now. I hope this post could be my meager way of giving back what I can at this point in my life. If you find that this in itself is a good reason to stop reading. No hard feeling. And I wish you all the success in the world.


    So why take the time to post?

    For many reasons.

    But for one in particular. To take the time to reflect correctly on my why’s. Having to post something and make it available for people to read means that what you say: has to be real, has to makes sense, has represent your deep beliefs. I feel it makes me accountable. And I want to be accountable. I want to own this. This is mine. My story, my life, my mistakes. I will surely make tons more, but I have seen the benefits of it. And whether or not I will make or not make money out of my moving into entrepreneurship, those mistakes have made me who I am, and hopefully will influence my children and the people around me to understand that even if you think you are good, you can always be better. You can always get better. You can learn better, you can understand better, and in no time in life are you really stuck. Creativity is your best friend and can conquer your worst enemy: your brain.


    So what are my why’s? Let me explain the how before.


    As I look back, I now realize that as a child, I had all the qualities necessary to succeed. Of course, I needed maturation and experience, but I was off to a very good start.


    My life came tumbling down the moment I decided to stop being the unconventional, rule questioning, action focused person that I was to settle to what society defines as successful life. My life crashed. That is 20 years ago. I have been battling to understand what the hell happened to me since then.


    At first, I didn’t have a clue. I just knew that I was deeply unhappy. But according to the standards of life, I had to reasons to be. So I was reminded regularly by many people, but also by my mother when she was telling me to smile because I had every reasons to be happy. (How did I hate that.) Indeed, I had finished a university degree which gracefully added 3 letters at the end of my name. But yet, that didn’t do nothing for me. And yet this was, according to society, supposed to be a life’s purpose, a finality, something not only one should be proud of, but a token of success for the rest of my life. Well, I can tell you that it didn’t. 2 years out of school, and a wedding later, I was battling with depression to which I couldn’t find a cure to and refused to just take pills to live through it. Being in the state I was, not able to effectively reason, I kept just going with society’s recommended life plan: have a family. Maybe the answer was there? At the time, I was with a guy that is so conventional and very attached to common beliefs. A follower. You know, lifetime job is the best, debts are normal and other type of bullshit. I guess that influenced me going further in. Another blatant mistake made by moi. I therefore had a child, which, as you probably know it, didn’t fix the situation I was into. And it surely didn’t help that my son was born being a “dys” type of person. But he was the trigger of it all. He triggered me to retreat to my former rule-questioning self, but only this time, to a higher level. Never doubt the power of a mother who questions rules, stupid beliefs, and bullshit hearsay.


    And turning my first rock, led me to turn them all. Not only about my son, but about everything in my life. EVEYRTHING. And that pile of everything started to change. And yet, I kept doing mistakes, not being fully aware of how deep in it I was. My “I’ve had enough” moment was the day where my former husband had us move way up north to a location where I would only dream, in my worst nightmares to move to. And the day before the move, I felt this gut wrenching feeling screaming at me how this was a mistake. Yet I did it, and that was the last time somebody made me do something I didn’t want to.



    With that being said, what are my why’s? Again, there are many. A truckload. But the main:


    For my kids. Because they need to know that change is always possible even in situations that seems impossible. Because they don’t have to endure life, they should be living it. And is ever they realize that they are living for anything but themselves, they should act upon it, even if it hard, even if it hurts, even if everybody tells them that it is crazy. Life isn’t meant to be lived like everybody else. And the highway isn’talwaysrarely the best choice.

    And this goes for anybody else as well. If I managed to get stuck, surely other did too. But I was fortunate to realize that I was. Might not be the case of everybody who is. If I can change one stranger’s course of life at least I’ll have done something worthwhile. I had a hell of a ride up to now, but if this ride can help other people that are stuck, I’ll have gone through this for something. I so would like to tell anybody that being led by life is not the answer, to wake them up and make them realize that there is much more to life. And no, obtaining the most coveted diploma isn’t the answer. There are so many other ways. And yes, making mistake is good, contrarily to what we are being told in school. It is the essence of learning and maturing. Every decision matter, every choice should be taken seriously. You never know when you’ll take the wrong one. But when you realize that you have taken the wrong turn, the best time to turn around is RIGHT NOW.



    For my first-born son. He is without a doubt the person on this planet who has kicked my butt the most and made me change. But as he grows, I realize that he is just like me. Different, he does not conform. And while loads of people sees that as a hindrance, I see it as a blessing. For him: He has in him everything to succeed in life. But I need to help him protect this. Protect this from society’s norm, from the people who wants him to conform, from compulsory schooling which is actually killing him. Because I don’t want him to walk those path that I walked into and that led me to lose myself. And yet I want him to learn. Things that are not taught in school. I want him to learn what he really needs to succeed, him and not the next door neighbor. And no, school will do that for him. I won’t even be able to do that for him. I can steer him. But he has to figure out how to do it himself. To focus and fire. And not listen to others.



    For myself: Because for year, even with the DVM beside my name, I didn’t feel like I was doing something worthwhile for anybody. I felt like I could do more. I felt so empty, and this is what led me to depression, something I never want to experience again. Life without fulfillment is nothing. It’s Groundhog Day forever, of the worst day of your life. I don’t want the spotlight, I don’t want the fame, I just want to feel that my passing on this earth had a purpose, a goal. Otherwise, I am useless.

    Because I can’t stand it to live in a country where 180 out of 360 days, my feet are covered by 5 foot of snow. I despise winter, and I just can’t believe I got myself here. WTF.


    And finally, to prove myself to myself. To show my former husband who thought that his job was more important than mine that he was wrong. He who always passed his career before mine, which led me to stay stuck in a job I didn’t like. Who had the impression that his life’s worth was worth more than my own. And most of all to prove him that dreams are made to be attained and should never be ridiculed or laughed. That was the tipping point in my life.


    I am sick of being where I am. It has been 11 years now since this process started little by little. The snowball has now become a gigantic avalanche. And yet, no I don’t have a 1 000 000$ account to show for myself. But I have taken back the reigns of my existence. Entirely. I walked out of my relationship with the father of my children, while everybody told me that I was crazy to do so. I questioned my way of handling money, my deep values and beliefs, I cleaned up my life with chlorhydric acid. And while I now feel much better than I did 20 years ago, I know that some answers are still eluding me, but I also know now how to get the answers I need. By myself, on my own. Answers which are not tainted by whoever’s norm, rule or common beliefs. I am still battling my brain on some issues, I still need to better be the boss of him, but I am gaining momentum.


    My current situation has led me to be stuck in the status quo. A very sucky place to be: In a job that has a reasonable pay, and good work condition. No this does not represent what I want, but it is hard to leave the mistakes in the past and just tell yourself that you need to start over when life is not that bad. But I need to go from status quo to all in. I want life to be great not just ok. For it to be what I want it to be. And that is not happening staying idle. I need to actually be an entrepreneur instead of eventually being one. This post was part of the process.


    I haven’t found my exact niche yet. I still haven’t figured out how I can give to this world to impact it. But I’ll find it. I’m working on it. Everyday. This process has started long ago, and had been very hard, but yet satisfying. I’ve found answers at the right time along the way, and I needed to deal stuff before arriving at this point. I think I am now there. I doubt that the rest of the project will be easier, but I have the will to continue it. To the end. Because I have to. For all the why’s.


    I don’t know if you made it this far, but if you did thank you. Just for listening. And letting this be a part of my process.

    And good luck to you too.
     
    Sheens, jon.a, Mattie and 1 other person like this.
  2. RazorCut
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    RazorCut Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    My, that came from a deep well.

    I don't recall an introduction quite like it. I really hope you stay around and become an active member. I think being part of a community of like minded souls, when obviously you have so few in your physical life, will provide you with benefits. Reading is all well and good but participating will bring you greater fulfilment and will help your accountability.

    Well you need to get started lady. Time is a ticking and you don't have the luxury of being able to waste time like some of the young guns on here do.

    Moving south at the first opportunity seems like one of the first steps. Do you have a plan for that? How old are your children? How does having them impact on your ability to shake off cold climes?
     
  3. Mattie
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    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

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    I believe we can all say we've been conditioned by society, culture, family, education, religious/spiritual, philosophical views. I think today in 2019...I'm challenging people to actually ask themselves what exactly are they breaking away from? The unconventional can be the wild west. There are no rules, regulations, restrictions, policies, procedures, no boundaries, no strings attached, no emotional attachment, and no commitment.

    Now if you notice the last two words. No commitment, you will realize after you break out of all the boxes or collapse all the boxes, where are you going to go? And at that same time you burn all your bridges and boat. I read some weird article yesterday, about this woman, who changed herself into a man, wasn't happy about being a man, and decided to shave her eye brows off, pierce her lips, and because she doesn't feel like she fits in this world and wants to break out of the conditioning of society, she/he is now elaborating I'm an Alien in a Human body, and dresses to fit the picture.

    I've seen so many creative ways to do your eyebrows, lips, face, hair, clothing, body parts, and sometimes just want to close my eyes because people are extreme and others are pretty mild about breaking out of the conditioning. I would just say find a healthy balance, and not be too extreme, and understand at times there's a necessity for rules, regulations, policies, procedures, and commitment.

    Be thankful for having a job for some people don't have one. And if you're going to be a single parent, remind yourself you are the example. The child follows your foot steps, watches everything you do. Life doesn't always happen the way you envision it, plan it, and sure your family, friends, co-workers might not understand your experience or point of view. There's no easy way to take the hits, the blow, and this is really about how much you value yourself, value your future, value your finances, value your education.

    What you say or do is what matters it is what creates your future. Anger, resentment, grudges, will never get you anywhere in life.

    I believe it's more about making smart choices today.
     
  4. Strm
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    Strm Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Hello and welcome!

    Thank you for the intro, It was an emotinonal reading. I sure hope you will stay here and maybe it would help you to find some of the missing pieces in life. You are on the right track - thinking and acting differently from the "normal people" can be tough at first but also liberating. And very often this is the first step to change your life for the better. You have strong whys and I know the feeling inside is also painful and strong. So I have no doubt you will figure your life out.

    About your niche - if you're now raising your kids alone, you could start there. I don't know much about parenting or kids (but I do have a rabbit who I call my son :) ), but I believe single parents have dosens of struggles and emotional moments, where they need help. Think about this while continuing your own jorney and maybe you will find a problem/need that you can solve for others too.

    Stick with the forum and give it a try. Read much, but also post and reply and talk to people. It will do good!

    Best wishes from Estonia!
     
    Mattie likes this.
  5. rwhyan
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    rwhyan Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    What does this mean?
     

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