Family member failure and self destruction

[Brian Suh]

Yes it’s another negative family thread from me. I’m making a huge effort in increasing my paradigms and progressing my life but it seems that my family isn’t. But they are in my top 3 priorities but they are in a failing self fulfilling prophecy that can hurt me. For instance my sister self sabotages our relationship by making up lies and thinking I’m against her. It hurts me to see her ruining her life but it’s effecting my self esteem because I am pouring water into a bucket with holes. Do I just cut her off? My dad keeps telling me to be “normal” like everyone else and get a 9-5. I don’t really care as I just ignore him but what do I do with my sister? Let her go?

 

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[Merging Left]

Accept her for who she is and how she is. You can't force her into a behavior, just like your dad can't force you to take a 9-5.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

It's really difficult to influence someone if you're judging them.

But before you influence anybody else whom should you influence first?

(yourself!)

Let others live how they'll live and lead by example. Don't push your beliefs on people, don't try and force people to see the world how you do, and try your best to get curious instead of furious.

 

[Brian Suh]

It's really difficult to influence someone if you're judging them.

But before you influence anybody else whom should you influence first?

(yourself!)

Let others live how they'll live and lead by example. Don't push your beliefs on people, don't try and force people to see the world how you do, and try your best to get curious instead of furious.

They’re trying to put their beliefs on me. I come from an Asian family and honestly I feel like my dad is disabaonding me from the family due to my choices. God people suck. Why can’t we just live our lives and not conform to others desires?

 

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[daivey]

cause your dad pays for your shit. that's why.

 

[Tourmaline]

She sounds like drama. Don't take her too seriously and just try to be there for her when she really needs. I would minimize talking about anything real, keep it to small talk. Whatever small talk she likes to do just go to those.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Your parents are just trying to do what they think is best.

Your sister is more than likely going through a phase and trying to find herself. She may not communicate exactly how you want her to for a while...

All you can do is give people unconditional love.

If your response is "yeah, but..." that means it's conditional love.

It doesn't mean you have to be best friends. It doesn't mean you have to live someone else's life. It just means you love them regardless of their behavior.

Here's the real question that changed my life and I *wish* someone had given it to me sooner:

"In 10 years is any of this going to matter?"

The answer is almost always "No."

 

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