Family: An obstacle in your fastlane plan? *Sorta Long*

[Bozigian]

Right now I just had the biggest argument with my brother. Its sorta funny how family members put you down when they are supposed to encourage you.

For me instance, Im reading almost everything I can about investing, I still have alot to learn about it but I have the basics already in my mind. Everytime we go out to eat, I explain to my brother about this stock and that stock. I watch CNBC nearly the whole day and it does help me. I practice on a stock simulator using "fake" money.

I told my brother, that I would have made this amount of money in the stock market. He always says "Gilbert shut up, you made fake money. Dont b*** to me until you make real money."

This always happens when I talk about my business and what I want to do in my future.

Its sorta weird because my brother is overweight and all he does is play call of duty all day. He has been wanting to lose weight for a long time now. He doesnt join the swim team because he has some pretty bad acne scars. He always tells me he wants to have a ripped body like I once had before I had surgery.

The Problem is,. he does not want to lift weights. He wants to lose weight by swimming. Isnt that pretty ironic? I tell him just to do suicide sprints and you will lose weight slowly just by doing that. He tells me he doesnt want to do that.

So all set aside:
----My parents dont shut up about me not wanting to get a job
----My aunts says I wont do anything in life becuase Im not going to school.
----My brother does not say I will be rich. He just said "If God wanted you to be rich then he would have made you rich already."


This is not my diary to complain about my life.... because it is not. Its to show that for me, I will have to put family aside and ignore their wishes because obviously they dont see the picture that I see.

So if you people that are young and reading this. I could say to ignore your parents and family members but respect them. I know that when my time comes when I become rich and own a Lamborghini. I will be the one that proved everybody wrong.

This is not my diary, I made this thread to show that my family is an obstacle on my fastlane plan. Maybe others are experiencing the same thing and I wrote this thread to show that you are not alone.

In the future, people and family members will know me as:
The young successful guy with the Lamborghini

 

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[emilybon]

You are not alone. Unfortunately, unless we are born into a rich family who have been there and done that, they don't really know what it is all about.

Our family really does love us and want the best for us. However, they want what they think is best for us, which most of the time is what they have for themselves.

I had a business that made $150,000 in just a couple of months (not fastlane) and still my father-in-law pushed for me to get a job, and said that my husband was the one making all the money (my husband barely made $28,000 in a year) even though my husband told them how much money I made.

Some people are just blinded by what they want to believe. I can write a book on how deluded this man's mind is. But I won't go there.

Also, remember "execution". Not everyone can "execute". Many people are just lazy and look for the easy way. A job or living off of welfare, is the easy way for many. They know what they need to do to succeed, but don't want to work for it. Then there are some that really don't know what to do but are willing to "execute", thank goodness MJ's book helps us find the right stuff to "execute".

 

[Bozigian]

I completely agree with you emily.

According to my aunt, being an investor does not count as having a real job in her mind. Her definition of a job is waking up and working 8 hours for someone.

I do have the execution skills but the only trouble I have is family. I aint got no support from anyone and I am the only one that can do what I want to do.

I will execute my plan and live fastlane!:fastlane:

 

[Knowledge Kick]

If you talk to most of the people here you will find that probably 90% of people deal with this. It's just human nature to question someone who strays from the norm. I, and many other members here, can definitely relate to family and friends not supporting your decisions. I know it's upsetting but try not to dwell on it. It's common so just use it as motivation.

If I could offer one piece of advice it would be to just handle your business and let your actions do the talking. People will resent what you're doing even more if you are "in their face" with it or act too preachy. Sure, you want to tell people that the slowlane is a bad place to be, but the reality is people will only listen if they WANT to.

So in short...accept the doubters, stay motivated and let your actions do the talking.

 

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[Bozigian]

So in short...accept the doubters, stay motivated and let your actions do the talking.

Couldnt have said it better myself

 

[andrewsemi]

This is happening to me also. I just made the decision in my life to quit the slow lane. 99% of people that are around me are slowlaners. (some sidewalkers) and I have been flooded with criticism. Every day, my parents, my siblings.

Most of my friends are riding the slow lane. Its tough to stay focused when they go "chillin" and I need to work for the my future.

But yea---Hang in there

 

[Bozigian]

In the future, while we are living life and we forget what an alarm clock is. we can all remember the time when we had doubters and realize that we made it in life.

While our family members complain about working, we dont have to complain about anything

 

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[oddball]

From my experience, parents and siblings are in that rut of slowlane. Like MJ said in his book, that is what they were taught, there parents, and their parents, and so on. So for them to understand what we want, its seen as risky, only with luck, or impossible.

My dad is strict, "school, good grades, good job." Granted, I still go to college now, but its as a backup/stepping stone. I want to get into real estate because i love buying and selling and am very good at it. I plan to graduate and get a job to obtain some startup money. a 40k a year job is better than $10/hour. Startup money always is nice.

Just keep at it and work hard.

 

[DeletedUser394]

An obstacle is only an obstacle if you choose to make it an obstacle.

If that makes any sense.

Does it matter if your parents do not approve/understand your choices? No. How do you make them understand? Show them the first cheque that your business brings in. Then that lambo or whatever car you want.

Then they'll understand.

If after that, they still don't understand... then they never will.

My mother once told me I was useless. Yeah, well now I support myself.

 

[JEdwards]

My Uncle once called me a bum and that no way any business I started would work, ever.

He still lives in the same 850 sq ft house. My pool is 700 sq feet and I haven't worked for someone else in over 20 years. At this point I think he was way off.

 

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[Bozigian]

@JackEdwards.
Has your uncle congratulated you on your accomplishments?

 

[oddball]

Like RyanDrake said, prove it to them. For me, I hate working stupid retail jobs with terrible hours, terrible pay, and miserable managers, so what did I do? I started buying and selling stuff (legally). I go on a forum and buy whatever I can, usually electronics, I do research on them, then sell them on amazon. It's not much but my ROI is about 25%, I make more now then when I worked. It's not hard, doesn't take much time and I enjoy it. I save money on gas not driving to a job and make my PO runs on the way to school.

 

[JEdwards]

@JackEdwards.
Has your uncle congratulated you on your accomplishments?

Nope.... No big deal though.

 

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[Bozigian]

Maybe when their is an individual who speaks out and says he is going to be rich, I think people tend to put them down because they are not in his position and they dont know what plans he has that will make him rich in the future.

I guess I could say its like when some people are jealous of seeing a Lamborghini. They are jealous and talk trash because they wished that they had a lambo.

And when someone speaks out and says they will make it rich by doing this and that. The other people will try to put them down because they wished they had the oppurtunities and want to know what he does as a job that makes him wealthy.

I guess when people ask what do you do for a living?
I bet the people asking those questions probably know that doctors, surgeons, businessmen, investors, business owners make enough to own a Lamborghini.
But they just want to hear the answer anyways.

 

[ClintonSkakun]

Like one of the posters said, it's an obstacle for 99% of us. Felix Dennis, Magazine Mogul and former owner of Maxim, said you have to cut loose or you may never be successful.

My game plan is moving to a condo in the next two months. No more distractions or bullshit. My parents have actually always been supportive of what I'm doing but more than once my dad has said, "Maybe you should try out for the City Police."

There is no way I'm going to be working a employee job 10 years from now, and that's because I'll do whatever it takes to make it in business. No f***ing way my future spouse, whoever that ends up being, is going to work because I don't have a good enough source of income. And people can tell me to go get a real job or whatever but they can f*** off because I'm not just doing this for a big house or a luxury car. I'm also doing it for my freedom and for my parents. Anyone that would oppose or threaten that, I'm turning my back to.

 

[TheFinBin]

My mother once told me I was useless.

It's good to know I'm not the only one. I have also heard: "I wish you were never born."

It was hard for me to hear at first (obviously). But, now, I just use all the negative talk as bulletin board material.

Hey, Bozigian, thanks for starting this thread. I have plenty of family issues as well. It's good to know I'm not alone with this.

 

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[JEdwards]

My mother once told me I was useless. Yeah, well now I support myself.

I was breaking up with this chick and she said, you will never find a girl like me, and I was like.. I hope not.. That is why I am breaking up with you.

 

[Rem]

I was in this sort of predicament back when I first joined the forum. Maybe some remember. The thing I learned was don't waste your time explaining to people who don't care or don't want to listen, the things you want. I used to worry about it and get all kinds of negative comments and feedback. I simply learned what information I could share with those people and what not to share. I was able to determine what sort of relationship I could have with them. If someone doesn't believe you are going to make money, who cares. Honestly. I used to go around caring about what my sister thought, and my parents, and my inlaws, and my wife.

Now if someone asks what I do for a living or what goals I have, I minimize it just for them so I can move on with life and pursue my dreams. Even if you told them you were going to make a ton of money. Most don't care. They would say cool and back they would go to watching American Idol or playing call of duty. You need to focus on what you want and all the negative crap out there is just noise. It's the noise set in place to filter out the weak.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

When you talk, no one believes you.

When you roll up in a Lamborghini or a Ferrari that you paid cash for, suddenly, people believe. When you disappear for 3 months to live in the Caribbean, people believe.

:smug2:

In other words, just do it. Use the naysayers as fuel for your fire and passion. As they say, the best revenge is massive success.

 

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[Graves]

Everyone thanking each other in this thread, this is like a mutual support group

I think those people actually are "well-meaning", just misinformed - which is actually even more irritating than if they truly were haters.

Running a profitable business doesn't exist in their reality because their view of entrepreneurship is basically what they've been told by the media/their entourage : "you have a 90% chance of failure when starting a business, and you won't even make that much money if you succeed - unless you win the lottery and become a multimillionaire overnight"

 

[Bozigian]

My parents have actually always been supportive of what I'm doing but more than once my dad has said, "Maybe you should try out for the City Police."

My parents arent supportive of me and today they woke me up and said the Superior supermarket is looking for employees maybe you should work.

I dont know whats better. To work on your fastlane goals and learn about investing on the side?
Or...... work for 11 dollars an hour being demanded and taking orders from people?

I was breaking up with this chick and she said, you will never find a girl like me, and I was like.. I hope not.. That is why I am breaking up with you.

A lot of girls say that. I noticed that girls will say anything to get back with a guy. Then when the girl sees their ex as successful then she would do almost anything to get you back and want to freeload off you, well some of them.

When you roll up in a Lamborghini or a Ferrari that you paid cash for, suddenly, people believe. When you disappear for 3 months to live in the Caribbean, people believe

Hell Yeah, I will be doing this in the near future. When my aunt asks me for money because I know she will. I will say sorry cannot talk right now, I have business to go to.

Hey, Bozigian, thanks for starting this thread. I have plenty of family issues as well. It's good to know I'm not alone with this.

Yup your welcome. I started this thread immediately after an argument between me and my brother. It was intense, he said if God wanted me to be rich then he would have made me rich by now. Im not right now but will be in the future.

 

[Graves]

My parents arent supportive of me and today they woke me up and said the Superior supermarket is looking for employees maybe you should work.
I dont know whats better. To work on your fastlane goals and learn about investing on the side?
Or...... work for 11 dollars an hour being demanded and taking orders from people?

Well, are you supporting yourself right now ?
If not yet I think you should work part-time. They'll probably let you do whatever you want if you can cover your own living expenses.

EDIT : http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2010/04/leadership/ -> is relevant to thread subject.

 

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[rexxkai]

i have the same feeling!!!

but, i think those that tell you to find a job, (which my parents kept telling me to do when I wasn't taking a full course load in uni) is just trying to help you -- they want you to succeed, they want you to live a good life, because in their minds, that is what their parents did, what they did -- but they don't ask themselves enough questions, eg. why did i get a job, why am I driving this camry, or accord, or why i live in a small house.

as people in general, we should always be asking questions (eg. do i really wanna work a 9 to 5 job until i'm 60??--imagine yourself being 60 years old, and you look back at your life, and think, what the heck have i been doing my whole life??? and you feel that you've wasted your whole life working.)

1 ask more questions
2 think from other's peoples perspective (they may be wanting to help you), but also know that it is your future, and you have the choice to decide your future.

 

[TK1]

you have to realize at the beginning you start out you ll get lonely bc you get tired of all the people around you not getting the point of starting your own stuff. suddenly you see many of them as a huge waste of time, even sometimes your parents.

all those nay-sayers like 99,99% of the world population that have jobs will be the first to hype you and suck your dxxx if they see your ferrari or whatever, don't worry about it

 

[CalleZorro]

I've come to learn that it's a BLESSING when naysayers start their naysaying...because that lets you know UP FRONT who you need to cut out of your life!!!

When I had literally nothing except dreams and ambition, there were people who resented and despised me for my dreams and ambition.

Those people were definitely cut out of my life.

Then, when I was in the corporate world...and had reached greater success than many people in the corporate world ever attain...a healthy 6-figure annual income...well, there was a new group of people around me who "respected" me for my "success"...but who also resented me for it.

Side note: Isn't kind of interesting how the mass-majority of people (at least here in America) consider you very "successful" if you have a job where you earn $100,000 per year or more?

Anyway, after enough years in the corporate world, it started to make less and less sense to me to be a leading contributor of millions of dollars going into other people's pockets while only a few hundred thousand made it into mine.

I also became less and less willing to be the company's "man"...at their beck and call...with no time to live and fulfill my purpose...no time to do the things that in my mind "count"...no time to do the things that I believe are significant and meaningful.

So, when I announced to the approximately 300 people who were "active" in my life at that point that I was leaving the corporate world and striking out on my own in my own business, there were MANY, MANY people shaking their head at me...telling me I was crazy...that I would never make it on my own...that I needed to be happy with the "good deal" that I had.

The rest either didn't say anything to me...or at best, all they could say to me was, "Most people don't make it...I hope you know what you are doing" as they shook their heads with TOTAL DISBELIEF that I could make it.

Of those 300 people, only 2...that's right 2...had something positive, up-lifting, and encouraging to say to me when I made my announcement.

Well, that was a REAL WAKE-UP CALL to me...because it was a REVELATION into just how negative the mass-majority of people...the 95% of the population...really is.

And, those 298 people got cut out of my life too!!!

The problem is, when you cut all the negative people out of your life...that doesn't leave very many people around you. That's why I am happy to have discovered this forum and the entrepreneurial, success-minded people who are here.

 

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[Bozigian]

Side note: Isn't kind of interesting how the mass-majority of people (at least here in America) consider you very "successful" if you have a job where you earn $100,000 per year or more?

Yeah, true

The problem is, when you cut all the negative people out of your life...that doesn't leave very many people around you. That's why I am happy to have discovered this forum and the entrepreneurial, success-minded people who are here.

We all here have the same goals, to make it fastlane!

 

[HenkHolland]

My parents arent supportive of me and today they woke me up and said the Superior supermarket is looking for employees maybe you should work.

You cannot blame your parents for that. If I had an 18 years old son still living at home and not earning money I would tell him that he should find his own place to live. Fortunately, it never came to that with my son. He went to university, got his master's degree and PhD. Now he has his own, very promising, start-up company in the biotech field.

 

[rexxkai]

rant time!!!

just had a horrible 2 last days, not sure how long this bad experience is going to continue...

anywayz, here's the situation, i am currently going to university, but during this semester, i didn't take any courses, so I'm free for 4 months, in the beginning of this 4 months, i convinced my mom that i was going to take this time to read, and invent a new product. she allowed me to do so.

but however, after a couple more days, in the morning my dad started telling me to get a job since i wasn't going to school, so i told him that i would be reading and inventing my product during this time. and he starts saying "you need work experience and learning to serve your boss, it's not as easy as you think, you could get into legal trouble with your invention, and stuff like that". and so i said, "that's why i need to read books and learn, and if i fail, i 'll try again". he says "why do you need to fail???" - implying to me to just get a job and be like everyone else.

in the afternoon(same day), he starts trying to convince me to get a job again. it's starting to really get on my nerves. this time he says, "your just thinking about everything in your head, and the world isn't what you think it is going to be", and he starts to try to convince me again, and it's just making me so angry.

at night time, he starts trying to convince me AGAIN!!! he tried to convince me 3 times in a day!!! i clearly stated my opinion, but he just doesn't believe it.

the next morning, my brother starts arguing with me why the FASTLANE doesn't work and how the main principles to success can't be found in books and again trying to prove that SLOWLANE is the only way.

so i'm thinking that the only way i can escape all this BS is:
1-take the bus and go to library everyday, pack my lunch, go in the morning, come back at dinner time
2-walk to starbucks, same routine as above
3-get a part-time job, and continue my plan
4-convince them to give me a break, and let me do what i want for 4 months, and then i'll go back to school and continuing studying (while working on FASTLANE PLAN)

i'm hoping CHOICE 4 will work, if not i'm going to go with 1 or 2

and that's the end of my rant session!! thank you for reading XD

 

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[Bozigian]

Why is it that parents dont seem to understand our plans?

Surprisingly, my sister is over staying over our house and she agrees and has confidence in my fastlane plans

 

[Trent]

rant time!!!

just had a horrible 2 last days, not sure how long this bad experience is going to continue...

anywayz, here's the situation, i am currently going to university, but during this semester, i didn't take any courses, so I'm free for 4 months, in the beginning of this 4 months, i convinced my mom that i was going to take this time to read, and invent a new product. she allowed me to do so.

but however, after a couple more days, in the morning my dad started telling me to get a job since i wasn't going to school, so i told him that i would be reading and inventing my product during this time. and he starts saying "you need work experience and learning to serve your boss, it's not as easy as you think, you could get into legal trouble with your invention, and stuff like that". and so i said, "that's why i need to read books and learn, and if i fail, i 'll try again". he says "why do you need to fail???" - implying to me to just get a job and be like everyone else.

in the afternoon(same day), he starts trying to convince me to get a job again. it's starting to really get on my nerves. this time he says, "your just thinking about everything in your head, and the world isn't what you think it is going to be", and he starts to try to convince me again, and it's just making me so angry.

at night time, he starts trying to convince me AGAIN!!! he tried to convince me 3 times in a day!!! i clearly stated my opinion, but he just doesn't believe it.

the next morning, my brother starts arguing with me why the FASTLANE doesn't work and how the main principles to success can't be found in books and again trying to prove that SLOWLANE is the only way.

so i'm thinking that the only way i can escape all this BS is:
1-take the bus and go to library everyday, pack my lunch, go in the morning, come back at dinner time
2-walk to starbucks, same routine as above
3-get a part-time job, and continue my plan
4-convince them to give me a break, and let me do what i want for 4 months, and then i'll go back to school and continuing studying (while working on FASTLANE PLAN)

i'm hoping CHOICE 4 will work, if not i'm going to go with 1 or 2

and that's the end of my rant session!! thank you for reading XD

Have you thought about working for someone you could learn from? I was in similar situation before and my uncle got me a job with a small business. It turns out the guy had an ecom site that grossed 5-10k PER DAY. Needless to say, learning from someone like that was a tremendous experience...maybe you could do the same?