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Examining your navel

yveskleinsky

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While I was going through Russ' challenge to track my expenses for 30 days, I started to really analyze who I was and who I wanted to be. Thinking along these lines made me come up with some interesting questions- I thought I would share them with you guys. I'd be curious to see if anyone has any other introspective questions to add- or the answers that you get!

Questions:

1. Who am I? ...and who do I want to be?
2. What would I need to do, or what habits would I need to develop to become this person?
3. What things do I need to change in order to increase the speed I travel to achieve my goals faster?
4. What are my strengths?
5. What are my weaknesses?
6. Can I partner with people who have complimentary skills?
7. What am I willing to give up to live up to my potential?
8. What are three things I can do right now that would move me in the direction of being the person I want to be?
9. How am I tracking my progress?
 

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Sid23

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How does your navel play into this? Sounds interesting....
 

andviv

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In my case it has been how to define yourself independently from what you do for a living. For example, you are a 'Medical Doctor', or 'banker', or 'programmer', or a 'manager'. Are you? Is that WHO you are?
Have you noticed how people ask you 'what do you do', it is easy to answer (your profession is what you do) but when somebody ask you 'who you are' is not that easy to answer?

Somewhere in there the BE-DO-HAVE thing kicks in... Russ' opinion here could be very interesting.
 

michael515

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In my case it has been how to define yourself independently from what you do for a living. For example, you are a 'Medical Doctor', or 'banker', or 'programmer', or a 'manager'. Are you? Is that WHO you are?
Have you noticed how people ask you 'what do you do', it is easy to answer (your profession is what you do) but when somebody ask you 'who you are' is not that easy to answer?
I have always wondered that. Perhaps a status thing that we are consumed with.
"Oh my, your a doctor. I didn't realize. Well then let me pull out your chair for you." (no offense to Dr's - just the image some portray)

or "Oh, you run a business?" - like it's always fun :smx4:
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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1. Who am I? ...and who do I want to be?
2. What would I need to do, or what habits would I need to develop to become this person?


Figuring out the "Who am I?" part can be hard - especially if you are in a field where your identity is often tied to a title- such as MBA, CPA or Dr. If you strip your title off- who are you? ...Here's what I came up with:

1. Who am I (in a business sense)?
I am a 30 year old woman who has a passion and (possibly obsessive) interest in real estate and business. I am developing and implementing systems in order to help me become more organized and focused. Currently, I have trouble with keeping accurate files and balancing books.

Who do I want to be?
I want to be a well-planned out action taker. I want to be organized, effective and focused. I want to be able to act on good ideas with more enthausiam than fear.

2. What would I need to do, or what habits would I need to develop to become this person?
I would need to take the time consistently to prepare and educate myself. I would need to wake up earlier so I can pack more work into my hours. I would need to take the time and dive into my filing system and really figure out what's working and what's not and why. I would need to then run it past my accountant to see if I am on the right track. I would need to spend more time focused on the systems and processes of the foundation of our business instead of trying to create a bigger, brighter vision of where I want to be. I would need to rid myself of the habit of procrastination.

I have a whole other set of answers for other areas of my life that I'm trying to develop such as becoming a great cook. I'm finding it interesting to really think about the different areas and what I need to do to become the best me possible.
 

AroundTheWorld

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I think we all at one point or another tie our identity... the "who am I" to our profession, our role in a family or some title.

Losing the title or the job or the... what ever it is that you identify yourself with can sure lead to an awakening about "who you are." It can - after going through the pain of losing who you thought you were - lead to an authentic answer about who YOU are.

If you are able to come to that conclusion without the pain of losing something dear to you - awesome. The answer can become a deeply rooted foundation for all your activities after that.

So... YVes.... kudos to you for starting this thread. You are asking great questions!

I lost my "thing" and it sure did send me reeling. Two books that really helped me rebuild were: "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and also "7 Habits of Highly Effective Families" There are great chapters about developing personal mission statements and understanding our core values - then alligning your life so that it fits into that direction.

The other book was something like... Finding Your North Star. It takes you through a series of questions / exercises to help you identify your authentic mission / purpose / calling.
 

andviv

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Diane, LOL
ATW, you are right on point, as usual.
Very interesting thread.

Yves... in your answer 1 you basically went to discuss the things you HAVE (have a passion for...). You only gave one answer with the TO BE verb. You are a 30 yr old woman. I was expecting more "I am ..." sentences. For example, "I am a caring person", or "I am a smart woman", "I am energetic", "I am a cutie" ;)
I think you get the idea. I've noticed about you that you easily forget the positives and accomplishment and focus in the negatives (the things to fix). You are a problem-solver. You are a "Done, what's next?" type of person (how do I know? let's say it takes one to know one). Or maybe you are already mentioning things like that and decided not to post them, though I doubt that is the case.

In my case, I define my self as active, passionate, energetic, leader, smart, caring, 'humble', etc, etc... so that's what's been my focus lately... I want to mention and focus on the positives, and identify one or two 'things to improve' in the personal level.
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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Andviv-
You have me pegged! I would say that one of my biggest problems is that I have trouble living in the now. I am always looking forward to what's next. Living like that has caused me to focus on the destination and not on the journey- and the journey is where all the fun and learning happen! So, for the sake of living in the now... Who I am now? ...I am caring/protective of those who don't have anyone- and tend to take a mama bear approach with looking out for eldery people and troubled kids. I am always looking for ways to live life to the fullest, and always interested in developing my potential. I am a person who does enjoy setting a goal and checking it off the list- although generally by the time I've achieved it I've lost interest in it -so the accomplishment isn't a big deal. I am surrounded by friggin amazing friends that continually amaze me with how awesome they are. I am interested in almost everything and am always up for something new. I am fascinated by cashflow patterns- seriously fascinated. (It's not normal how much this interests me!) I am enthralled with real estate and business systems devlelopement. ...That's about all the comes to mind right now.

I just reread your posts, and I gotta say that I am really bad at celebrating achievements- I know if I took the time to do this I would be more fulfilled when I do actually achieve something. I suppose I feel like I am a lit firecracker in a box, and everyone can see the sparks coming out but only I know that there is so much more that they don't see.

Thanks for calling me out on not focusing on the moment Andviv. I've gotten better over the years- it's amazing how far as I've come- and how far I still have to go.
 

Russ H

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yveskleinsky-

Do you have any kids?

Having our first child is what has prompted me to work, every day, on living in the moment.

-Russ H.
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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Nope- no kids. ...I can see how having them would make a person live in the moment...and although I am willing to do almost anything to get myself on track- I'm drawing the line at having kids! ...I hope having kids wasn't the next step in the development of "The Plan". ;)
 

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Russ H

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yveskleinsky said:
I hope having kids wasn't the next step in the development of "The Plan". ;)
Naaaah.

Everyone's PLAN is different. Kids are up to you. :)

-Russ H.
 

Diane Kennedy

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Naaaah.

Everyone's PLAN is different. Kids are up to you. :)

-Russ H.
And then sometimes you just never know..... My first child came to us when he was a teenager and I was in my late 40's!!

BTW, have you noticed how many of these threads seem to end up with a few of us talking about the need to focus? (And, yes, I'm one of those people)

Do you suspect a pattern? Nah, it's just coincidence.
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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...When I was a kid, my dream was to have a big house on a hill with lots of land. In that big house I was going to take in all the kids who had no one and all the animals that no one wanted to adopt. My plan was to have all the kids take care of all the animals, and my husband and I would live happily ever after. Fast forward 20 years, and my husband has nixed that plan! I would love to adopt a kiddo 9 or older- ideally a troubled kid. If I can convince my husband to adopt, I think we will in the future. ...It's funny how everyone has their own internal clock. I know for me, the idea of kids is out until I get either to, or closer to, where I want to be. I want to be sure I have arranged my schedule to where my kiddo can be #1 on my list. Right now, I feel if I had a kid it would throw me into neutral, and I would be overly cautious with finances and moving forward. Hell, the other night (out of sheer exhaustion) I had a bowl of cereal and a glass of wine for dinner. Raisin Nut Crunch and Pinot Grigio to be specific. Anyone who can't muster up the energy to have anything better than cereal and wine for dinner probably shouldn't be responsible for another human being! lol.

Yes, Diane- I agree focus seems to be a reoccuring theme among those who are living their dreams. Focusing on focusing has really helped me move forward- in both big and small ways. I know that if I can change my life slightly for the better everyday, that I will be in a whole new place by the end of each month!
 

Diane Kennedy

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You know, I think I would have gone with a Reisling to bring out the sweetness of the raisins, other than that - what was the problem with dinner?
 

Russ H

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Yeah, I was questioning the food/wine pairing too . . (I prefer a good raisiny port with my raisin bran, but that's just me).

Just tried this amazing bran cereal from Trader Joes. It's a crossover cereal: Each piece looks like a cinnamon roll! So you get something sweet, and good for you at the same time.

I had it w/soymilk though. Had never even considered pouring wine in there . . . :smxB:

Yves, I can only tell you what has happened to me as a dad.

Simply put, having a kid unlocks a secret universe of energy you never knew existed.

I was sick yesterday (slept only a few hours the night before, caught whatever KT brought home from daycare). I made dinner for 8 while Sharon watched KT, we entertained until early evening, then put KT to bed, I caught up on emails, and crashed. The last few nights I've been up from midnight through 4 or 5, since KT's been sick (Sharon and I take turns).

The day before that was a doozie-- drew out all the final floorplans/etc required for our latest project, worked w/the building dept to get a set of plans approved for a full remodel (got the permit that same day-- WA-HOO!), managed to track down and pick up a smoked turkey (most everyplace was out!), went out w/Sharon and and found suitable stone for our Inn's fireplace mantel (next week's project), and arranged for Friday delivery . . . you get the idea. A typically busy day. :banana:

And here I am. I feel great. No lie.

Had I had this kind of schedule before KT, I would never have made it.

It's amazing the reserves you tap into. I don't know where the energy comes from. But it's there.

-Russ H.

PS From the time I was 13, I swore I'd never get married or have kids. I felt that way all the way through my mid 30s. Sometimes, people change. :)
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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lol! ...Yes, I suppose a dessert wine would be a better pairing with the raisins and all. Maybe we should ask Russ- with him being in Napa and all. Maybe we should open a cereal and wine bar! :rofl: Whadda ya think Russ? Is there a big untapped market for us closet cereal and wine connoisseurs?
 

Russ H

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yveskleinsky said:
Whadda ya think Russ? Is there a big untapped market for us closet cereal and wine connoisseurs?
Beer and pancakes for brekkies.

Wine and cereal for dinner.

I'm afraid to ask what's for lunch . . .

Popcorn and champagne?

What do you guys do on slow days? ;)

-Russ H.
 
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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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Beer and pancakes for brekkies.

Wine and cereal for dinner.

I'm afraid to ask what's for lunch . . .

Popcorn and champagne?

What do you guys do on slow days? ;)

-Russ H.
lol! Lunch? PB&J and Jim Beam of course!
 

Diane Kennedy

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And after dinner snack, preferably at the hot tub - dark chocolate and Port....
 

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yveskleinsky

yveskleinsky

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Ok, out of all the combinations so far I think the chocolate and port might make it into my regular menu rotation. ...Of course everything tastes better in a hot tub! :)
 

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