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Do big goals make you depressed?

Discussion in 'General Entrepreneur Discussion' started by LiveEntrepreneur, Nov 25, 2018.

  1. LiveEntrepreneur
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    LiveEntrepreneur Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    So lately I have been stressed out about my new business idea, all the work that is involved. Like I haven't seen it but I have researched it and I can't help but feel stressed, and I haven't even really started. I am running into the same issue that I had a year ago, where something is hard I get discouraged very fast and feel sorta depressed. I thought it was a motivational issue, but I think I was wrong, it's a hard work issue it seems. Do you guys get the same feeling where you have this goal but immediately feel overwhelmed then procrastinate the entire day?
     
  2. The Abundant Man
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    The Abundant Man Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    You're just having anxiety and need to get rid of it. That's all it is.

    You haven't started yet stressing out about it. You just need to get started then the worries will go away.

    I say relax and go talk to some people or go for a walk. Then come back and start. As Yoda says, "Do or do not."


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-sfG8BV8wU
     
  3. fvcorp
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    fvcorp Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Absolutely not. You’ve only got 10-20 years left in your prime and you only live once. Wake up, fast!

    Break your huge goal into smaller pieces. Only do what’s essential. Never waste excess time on stupid sh*t like processes and documentation. Leave that until you have some value to sell.

    Remember, business is simple. Value and Sales.

    You need something to sell.

    You need someone to sell it to.

    Stop over complicating it.
     
  4. Bryceem
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    Bryceem New Contributor

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    Having this exact feeling/problem right now..
    Glad to know i'm not alone.
     
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  5. James Cozens
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    James Cozens Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER

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    This ^^^

    In the beginning, break down your massive goals into all the micro steps required to get you there. Write these all down and tick each one off as you go. Get into the habit of this and I've found progress actually becomes fun!
    e.g.
    - Create product video
    - Run Facebook ad to it
    - Get X sales per week

    Naturally things evolve as you do, so revisit this list daily. All I can say is it freaking works!
     
  6. LiveEntrepreneur
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    I had a feeling maybe just need to break it down. I do tend to overthink things or think about stuff which im not even sure what im thinking about. So much confusion, it never seems go away. Im always trying to find why im feeling this way but cant find the answer. Maybe its just overthinking.

    One thing though i realy needed an answer to its been really bugging me for a while. Why is it when my mindset changed and i realizes business is about delivering value that my motivation changed to wanting to help people?
     
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  7. Neng Her
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    Neng Her Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    Why don't you start with small goals then. Small goals that lead to the bigger ones. Then bigger goals that leads to biggger ones. Then bigggger biggggger biggggger.....
     
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  8. loop101
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    loop101 Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    If it was easy, it would not be an opportunity.
     
  9. jasoncuellar123
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    jasoncuellar123 I’m probably awake. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    No, being mediocre makes me depressed lol
     
  10. ManlyMansNegator
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    I think it was in a book I read that said something along the lines:
    "Most people aren't successful because they are less scared of losing than winning"
     
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  11. RazorCut
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    It's about dreaming of something substantial then forgetting the big picture and concentrating on the process.

    I think Jeff Haden sums this up well:

    “Thinking about goals is like thinking about winning the lottery: You get to dream big and imagine yourself living a totally different life.

    Dreams are really important. They make us human. We dare to set nearly impossible goals.

    Yet all those imaginings are worthless without a process to help us achieve them. A dream, once born, quickly dies without a process to support it. Then a dream turns into a regret—and all of us already have too many of those.

    The key is to set a goal, use it as a target that helps you create a plan for achieving it . . . and then do your best to forget all about that goal. As I learned from James Clear, a leading thinker on the subject, the best use of a goal is to inform the process you will follow to achieve it.

    What’s the difference between a goal and a process?

    If you’re a manager, your goal is to develop your employees. Your process is how you identify areas for improvement, create implementation plans, follow through on training and coaching and feedback. Your process is what you do to make your goal happen.

    If you’re a teacher, your goal is to help your students reach their potential. Your process is how you craft your lectures, create slides and ancillary materials, find ways to motivate individual students. Your process is what you do to make your goal happen.

    If you’re a parent, your goal is to raise healthy, happy kids. Your process is how you build your children’s self-confidence and self-esteem, nurture their dreams, instill important values.

    Your process is what you do to make your goal happen.

    Take Arnold Schwarzenegger. Before he became a movie star and later the governor of California, Arnold was a six-time Mr. Olympia (the highest achievement in bodybuilding).

    As a teenager, he decided he wanted to win the Mr. Olympia contest, but on a daily basis he cared only about reps. In his mind, each repetition of an exercise took him one step closer to becoming Mr. Olympia. At the gym, he wasn’t focused on winning the contest; he cared only about doing the reps, about doing the work, about doing what was necessary to get him to his goal.

    Sure, he wanted to become Mr. Olympia. He set that goal . . . and then he forgot that goal and focused on reps, and reps, and more reps.

    Everyone has goals. The people who actually achieve their goals create routines. They build systems. They consistently take the steps that, in time, will ensure they reach their ultimate goal.

    They don’t wish. They don’t hope. They just do what their plan says, consistently and without fail.

    They forget the goal and focus solely on the process”

    Excerpt From
    The Motivation Myth
    Jeff Haden
     
  12. GoGetter24
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    • Make the idea smaller. Always aim for the smallest, minimum viable product, that targets the most pressing market need. You can always expand from there. Never start with a behemoth plan.
    • Break the work involved down into specific parts.
    • Consider taking on partners or hiring
    • Build confidence by doing other, smaller, components of the work, before attempting this project. For instance, if the project is going to involve digital marketing, designing a physical product, getting it manufactured, and so on, practice one thing at a time on a smaller task.
    Part of getting things done is being aggressive towards yourself and forcing yourself to stick to, focus on, and execute the work until it's finished.

    The other part is not attempting something wildly outside your zone of competence and your available physical capacity.
     
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  13. S.Y.
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    Stress is not necessarily bad. Though, feeling depressed is.

    I do feel discouraged at times when I face a massive goal. More often, it has to do with not knowing where to start, not knowing the very next action I should take.

    Switching to systems oriented goals might help. It made a huge difference to me. Specially by giving me back control.

    Check also @eliquid post here. (and his thread on alignement).
     
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  14. ZF Lee
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    ZF Lee Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I wouldn't call it depressed. Maybe a bit anxious or worried.

    'Depressed' seems like an exaggeration.

    It is perfectly healthy to be worried about reaching any goals at all.

    I used to procrastinate a lot, but when it comes to tasks where you have direct obligations to others, such as meeting people on time, your reputation is put on the stake, and procrastination is a no-no.

    I have a deadline for a freelance gig today.

    Hence, even if I am using the computer to do my task, I don't go do stupid things like watch anime or whatever. My client needs the solution on time, effectively. It's set, mentally.

    Are you still shutting yourself up in the house, BTW?

    Think about including the accountability factor in your plans. No entrepreneur ever works alone.
     
  15. Real Deal Denver
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    Real Deal Denver Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    You can be your own worst enemy. You are loading yourself down with guilt.

    I take days off sometimes, even though I know I have a lot of work to do. I have to. I have to recharge sometimes.

    But when I do, I disconnect completely for the express purpose of recharging. I know I need it, and I know I'll do better the next day.

    I used to feel guilty about it, as you are doing. I used to wonder why I am so slow/lazy/ineffective too. And you know what that did? Nothing. It sapped my energy even more.

    NOBODY can be ON all the time. Right now I am working at about 80% capacity. I know I could do more, but I pace myself. I get more done in the end that way. I have worked full out before, and it wears me down fast. Then discouragement sets in - then the guilt. Just. Say. No. You're. Not. Going. To. Play. That. Game.

    Your time and your energy are all that you have. Sometimes you can do more by doing less. Don't punish yourself. I know. I've been where you are. It will pass, and the sooner you stop feeling guilty and worrying about it, the better off you will be!
     
  16. LiveEntrepreneur
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    LiveEntrepreneur Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    shutting myself up in the house?
     
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  17. LiveEntrepreneur
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    LiveEntrepreneur Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    thanks for the advice.
     
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  18. ZF Lee
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    In product development and business in general, one is never 100% knowledgeable of everything and anything.

    You don't see the White House being run by one President alone. He goes for meetings with his staff, and meets people outside. Doesn't matter whether they are merely babies, sheriffs, celebrities or ministers.

    I myself have a lot of problems and things I don't know about. Here are a few of them:

    • How to arrange business financing (if you want a credit line or a business account)
    • politics in the marketplace ( some businesses have a tight-knit community and clientele that acts like the Mafia, namely the supplier-manufacturers)
    • effects of law on products (in my country, the Prime Minister is enacting a harsh tax on foreign car imports like Honda, allowing leeway to boost sales for the national car company's latest car, Proton. Heard it this morning while stopping by for a bit at a car dealer place)
    • Best partners (lawyers, accountants, consultants, etc.) to team up with. You need to gather stories and recommendations from all over the local field, decide which stories are right, verify it and keep a quality list of folks to turn to for help when needed
    • Investing outlook. (I went to a recent investment talk, where the audience basically wasted time by worrying too much on Trump's trade war and asking 'too simple' question on macroeconomics to the director) I was better off going to an informal meetup.com meeting where I had met a founder of an online investing platform, one of the first in the country.

    Speaking of the last point, I think this video is a perfect rant for folks who like to ask stupid questions that don't give me value. Hate these f*ckers, especially when they are grown adults with income.


    View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GIj2BVJS2A


    Don't spend too much time on meeting the more knowledgeable folks, though.

    Do it after-business hours. Here, that would be like 7-10 pm, sporadically a few times a month.

    Once in a while, they might want some favours from you as well.
     
  19. Mainstream7
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    I had the same issue. The real problem is somewhere in your subconscious there is a misalignment in values.
    There is no commitment strategy.

    As an example:
    A dream was to make a really cool artistic game. But there were several misalignment and the reason why I couldn´t "move" out of the house.

    Reasons were:
    -wanting to exit as soon as I reached my net worth goal(this shows there is no real commitment)
    -hesitating on meeting people, get funding and build a team(subconscious hesitation)
    -be "workless" after the exit

    Now I found something I can commit on, which is creating traditional art and selling it:
    They fit with my core values:
    -even after reaching net worth goal I will continue to do this
    -conveying strong emotions artistically
    -working independently
    -willingness to meet with people and setup models
    -integrity with life style
    -money is a by-product

    And I also know there is demand for my kind of art.

    Art makes me free and cured depression. The train is starting to move.
    --------

    Is there something you always wanted to do? But put it back in the backburner due to "money chasing" or chasing passive income?
    What can you do that works? What can you do that is fun to you? What are you good at? What can you do that can be long-term?
    The dream of retirement is an illusion. An entrepreneur who cares only about money has no purpose. He will get bored after two weeks on the beach and ultimately stay depressed unless he takes action towards meaning.
     
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  20. NMdad
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    I think the anxiety & discouragement are a result of limiting beliefs.

    For some of us, saying "get rid of the anxiety" works, but for others, that advice feels hollow or shallow. (Although I've found that taking action can indeed dissipate the fear).

    If you're not taking action, then identify the limiting belief(s) that produce the anxiety/overwhelm/fear/discouragement. Do you think:
    -the goal is too big for you?
    -you won't be able to succeed?
    -that you're incapable of succeeding?

    Once you identify your limiting beliefs, objectively ask yourself if they're actually accurate. Usually they're not. Then, you can create a more accurate belief (e.g., "I've succeeded at other hard, complicated things, and can figure this out too"). You can then use the feeling (anxiety, etc.) as a signal to remind yourself of your new, more accurate belief.

    And you don't need to know all the steps. You just need to know the very NEXT step, and then act. Forget about steps 2 - 100 for now. All you care about is the very next action that'll move you forward.

    After you take that action, see what happens, then identify the next action, and so on. You'll encounter hurdles. But deal with them as you run into them--don't plan out everything for the next X years.

    And what RazorCut said: Focus on the process (& improving your process) that'll let you reach your goal.
     
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  21. Ninjakid
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    I've struggled with this too.

    Big goals are not making you depressed.

    Your lack of discipline in achieving your goals is making you depressed.

    Let me guess, you think about the goal all day. But your actions never follow. Your body never follows. Then you get depressed that you don't have the energy to follow your goal. Am I right so far?

    If your goal is only in your head, it's just a manifestation of nervous energy. Nervous energy saps your energy. It releases cortisol in your body, which ages you and makes you vulnerable to disease.

    It's the ego, the illusion of self. Thoughts drain you, and lead to anxiety.

    If you're a person who's particularly cerebral and uses their head a lot, you're probably more vulnerable to this type of nervous energy than people who habitually act a lot.

    Watch this vid


    View: https://youtu.be/D00atlIwwPw


    Practice what he says. Let go of your thoughts. Automate your day. Become a machine, and lose yourself to the process.

    You are not your mind. You are consciousness expressed in human form. You don't need to always think about a goal to achieve it.

    Visualize your goal, and create a plan of action to move towards that goal. Lose yourself to the process, and allow your anxieties to dissolve accordingly.

    When you do this, you will embody what you plan to achieve. You will feel like you no longer need to have it, because you are already it.

    Don't strive for the thing, become the thing.

    Sacrifice your old self, cast away the illusion, and become your true self.
     
  22. DVU
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    The thing that set this straight for me was this:

    You need to have a working process that gets results.

    Then, once it's working, go big.
     
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  23. luniac
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    yes a million times it happened to me.
    PERSEVERE.
     
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  24. YoungPadawan
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    YoungPadawan Miles to go before I sleep Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I agree with the others. Break the goal into tiny, bite-sized pieces.

    Five years ago I bicycled 4,200 miles across the United States. If I was to look at the entire goal of the trip and only focused on that, I would become overwhelmed and depressed.

    Instead, what I did, was understand what ultimate goal was, and from there, take it a single mile at a time. I looked at the horizon and focused on a single item that I saw. If I saw a tree, I focused on just getting to that tree. It made the big goal much easier to process and much more manageable.

    You can't focus on the goal as a whole. You'll become overwhelmed easily. Focus on one tiny piece of the puzzle at a time.
     
  25. LiveEntrepreneur
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    What you said, I think it's all 3. ESPECIALLY the first one. Like I know you have to be realistic and I have these ideas and then people say it won't work because of these reasons (and what they say makes sense). And that doesn't make me want to quit but I get discouraged quite fast thinking I won't reach my goals because they aren't realistic.

    Now I am trying to not overthink it and just focus on that small step at a time and forget about everything. I am using Mj's sort of thinking which was doing things on a problem by problem basis. Fix a problem ---> onto the next problem ----> repeat.
     

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