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Dealing with porn and other addictions

Andy Bell

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I read alot on porn addiction and finally this one book really helped me out have been porn clean for months now without even temptation. It was called your brain on porn by gary wilson.

Will share some of my top notes here.

"problems correlated most closely with the number of screens opened (variety) and degree of arousal, not with time spent viewing online porn."

"researchers found that ‘young people who are initially free of mental health problems but use the Internet pathologically’ develop depression at 2.5 times the rate of those who don't engage in such use."

"If a fantasy even remotely resembles porn, it should be off the table during a reboot. Two reasons: 1) Porn fantasies can lead to relapsing. 2) They can reinforce the screwed up neural circuitry that we're attempting to undo by rebooting. Your brain doesn't make a distinction between imagery that comes
"
"I totally stopped fantasizing about porn about four weeks ago. Whenever a porn flashback enters my mind I visualise a big red X over it and imagine a loud ambulance siren. If the porn image is insistent, I visualise exploding it in my head. The key is to do it immediately. The technique becomes more automatic with time."

"Lie on your back and list everything that you are grateful for. When I first started doing this, my gratitude list was long. Now, I barely get through being thankful for my friends and my dog and I'm dead asleep."

"You will be able to go long periods of time without porn when watching porn is no longer an option in your life. Live as if porn didn't exist. Completely forget about it. Don't spend your day fighting urges. Don't ‘try hard’. Be OK with the idea that you will never watch porn ever again in your life."

"If I don't actually have a sexual encounter with a real woman, I have to go to bed frustrated, and that's all there is to it. I don't allow myself to make up scenarios about women, but I do allow myself to reflect visually on women I have seen. Now, if I remember a woman's smile, I know that it's someone I met in real life."

"I've spoken to numerous men older than me and have asked them how they last long. Many said that they last long naturally and don’t watch porn or masturbate. My cousin who says he lasts 20-30 minutes has said he lasts longer when he doesn’t watch porn or masturbate."

"PE may be related to a history of forcing orgasms with weak erections: I would force myself to ejaculate in the morning before school, and several times after. I wasn't even horny or hard, merely compelled by some urge to keep forcing myself to cum. My mechanistic porn habits have taken away all sensuality from the act of orgasm, turning it into a short spurt and muscle memory twitch of a climax. If you have porn-induced PE consider the new behaviours, feelings and sensations that came with its onset. Before, orgasms were absolutely phenomenal (my f--king knees would literally shake), but now I cum with a mechanical twitch and no sort of real gratitude toward the act (and that is including with women). If feels different and lame."
 
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ChrisV

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Raedrum

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You guys are really non-jugmental and helpful. I'm new on the forum but it seem like a really nice place of open-minded people.

@WhatsMyName I understand your problem, I have an addictive personallity too, and the world's overflow of entertainment doesn't help. Don't compare yourself to an immature guy, it's not a matter of age, it's the first time in history that society have such a saturation of entertainment. Everything is not your fault.

I have no concrete solution but the Kaizen principle. Try to reduce slowly your bad habits and replace them with others. Day after day, it's not easy but it's working for me.
 

Madame Peccato

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I'm having huge issues with biting my own nails, I just can't stop. I could quit just about anything else without any issue, at least for a prolonged amount of time, but I can't resist not biting my own nails for more than 24 hours, and that's a massive struggle already. Like, the moment I don't concentrate fully on not doing it I will have my fingers in my mouth, so if I am for example reading something I have already lost...

I'm at a complete loss on how to overcome this huge challenge. I could quit sugary drinks and foods by not buying them, and I can avoid looking at porn or mindless entertainment, as I still have to take a conscious decisions to indulge in them...but this is a completely different beast for me.
 

BellaPippin

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I'm having huge issues with biting my own nails, I just can't stop. I could quit just about anything else without any issue, at least for a prolonged amount of time, but I can't resist not biting my own nails for more than 24 hours, and that's a massive struggle already. Like, the moment I don't concentrate fully on not doing it I will have my fingers in my mouth, so if I am for example reading something I have already lost...

I'm at a complete loss on how to overcome this huge challenge. I could quit sugary drinks and foods by not buying them, and I can avoid looking at porn or mindless entertainment, as I still have to take a conscious decisions to indulge in them...but this is a completely different beast for me.

This is what worked for me and as soon as I stop I'll lose my nails again, guaranteed. I also start biting them mindlessly.

NOTE: idk why is $38 in Amazon it's like 5 bucks in CVS, I just wanted you to see the packaging.

This shit tastes so disgusting that the moment you barely even graze the surface of your fingers against your lips you will have a horrible taste in your mouth for like an hour. I've tried other ones and just rip them off, I can't put into words how bad this tastes. You even have to be careful when eating finger foods (anything you eat with your mouth, chips, chicken tenders, etc etc). It says apply daily but a bit on the tip of the finger/nail lasts there like a week.
 

The Abundant Man

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In the Wolf of Wall Street, Matthew McConaughey asks Leonardo DiCaprio how many times he masturbates because they're stressed all day.

There's this movie called Shame, starring Michael Fassbender, about this guy who is a sex addict. Sex has completely taken over his life. Its a very dark depressing movie.

Lars and the Real Girl is a great movie about Ryan Gosling buys a sex doll online and treats it as if it's his actual girlfriend as a way to cope with past childhood trauma
 
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