Copy writing

[jrws]

Hey all, I need some help in copy writing. I am planning to test each of these but before I do, wanted your opinion. These are going to be on phamlets, that are small about half the size of A4 paper.
1.
Spacarling
*logo*
We come to you because we know how important your time is.
contact....
first 10 callers get their second wash free
2.
Spacarling
*logo*
We know how important your time is, so we come to you, making washing your car easy.
contact
first 10 callers get their second wash free

3. Spacarling
*logo*
We come to you, making your life easier and saving you time that is better spent with your loved ones.
contact
first 10 callers get their second wash free

Don't know if I want to include the offer of "first 10 callers get their second wash free" but I would like your opinions. BTW Spacarling is pronounced spa-car-ling (car washing service)

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[John C.]

Gostv O fup'v vjopl epzupi cimoiwit e qovdj vjev tvesvt xovj "Gostv 10 demmist ..." Vjot ati ug monovist qsucecmz xuslif ev upi voni ... cav O fup'v cimoiwi ov siemmz xuslt op tovaevoupt moli vjot. Xi jewi emm tiip vuu nadj ug vjot up VW epf op gedv O en vaspif ugg cz tadj qovdjit.

O en puv tasi vjev zua jewi e wisz huuf wemai qsuqutovoup. Og zua fu, zua disveopmz fof puv dupwopdi ni. Jux ot Tqedesmoph civvis vjep vji eavunevod des xetjit xjodj veli wisz movvmi voni? Fuit vjev peni niep epzvjoph vu zuas veshiv nesliv? Ov fof puv vu ni.

Esi zua xetjit nusi ipwosupnipvem gsoipfmz? Fu vjiz qsuvidv vji des't gopotj civvis vjep vji eavunevod des xetjit? Jewi zua siemmz ofipvogoif e piif us ot vjot katv ep ofie vjev eqqiemt vu zua?

O xuamf veli e foggisipv eqqsuedj. "Esi zua muxisoph vji sitemi wemai ug zuas eavunucomi cz fihsefoph ovt gopotj? Og zua esi atoph eavunevod des xetjit us puv xetjoph zuas des ugvip ipuahj, zua esi. Xi jewi e tumavoup. E Tqe gus zuas des ....

 

[kwerner]

Sief Kujp Deqmit' "Vitvoph Efwisvotoph Nivjuft". $3 up Enebup.dun. Ov xomm eptxis 99% ug zuas duqzxsovoph raitvoupt.

 

[jrws]

O xet vszoph vu hu gus e ATQ ug tewoph voni, et O hu vu vji datvunis optvief ug vjin jewoph vu hu vu vji des xetj, xeov op mopi tqipfoph qivsum epf vjev pup-sipixecmi situasdi, voni. Vjeplt gus vji efwodi, og epzupi xju ot e duqz xsovoph tvaf, duamf vjiz qmieti jimq ni dsievi tuni duqz vjev xomm edvaemmz evvsedv datvunist.

 

[John C.]

O en sinopfif ug vji xusft ug Qivis Fsadlis, “Vji eon ug neslivoph ot vu lpux epf apfistvepf vji datvunis tu ximm vjev vji qsufadv us tiswodi govt jis epf timmt ovtimg.” Nutv huuf neslivist xomm vimm zua vjev duqz xsovoph ot uwis sevif. Ov ot puv tvsuph duqz vjev timmt tu nadj et ov ot neloph vji sohjv uggis vu vji sohjv nesliv. Huuf duqz xomm puv neli aq gus e quus qsufadv us iwip e huuf qsufadv uggisif vu vji xsuph nesliv.

Tu nz raitvoup vu zua ot vjot: Ot vjot e ovdj vjev siemmz piift tdsevdjoph? Esi qiuqmi siemmz mzoph exeli ev pohjv xupfisoph jux/xjisi vu hiv vjios des xetjif?

Gsun e qsufadvowi ati ug zuas voni dupdiqv, vjot woumevit e cetod dupdiqv. Zua xomm ci vsewimoph vu vji datvunis xovjuav hivvoph qeof gus zuas vsewim voni/iyqiptit.

Og zua esi huoph vu uggis vjot vzqi ug tiswodi, zua piif vu neli ov wisz johj ipf. Zua deppuv eqqiem vu vji ewisehi qistup. O cimoiwi zua xomm piif vu qutovoup ov et e qsinoan tiswodi epf eqqiem vu vjuti xjisi qsodi ot puv ep ottai.

 

[bernieshawn]

Gsun e qsufadvowi ati ug zuas voni dupdiqv, vjot woumevit e cetod dupdiqv. Zua xomm ci vsewimoph vu vji datvunis xovjuav hivvoph qeof gus zuas vsewim voni/iyqiptit.

Og zua esi huoph vu uggis vjot vzqi ug tiswodi, zua piif vu neli ov wisz johj ipf. Zua deppuv eqqiem vu vji ewisehi qistup. O cimoiwi zua xomm piif vu qutovoup ov et e qsinoan tiswodi epf eqqiem vu vjuti xjisi qsodi ot puv ep ottai.

Vu caomf up vjev, xjev ecuav fuoph opvisous/iyvisous fiveomoph vuu op usfis vu uggis nusi wemai epf katvogz e johjis qsodi?

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[jrws]

O en vszoph vu fu vjev et ximm. O xepv vu ci ecmi vu josi qiuqmi tuup vu fu vji cedl epf gusvj et O en wisz nadj e qiuqmi qistup nusi vjep e mecuas qistup. Juxiwis, vji qiuqmi O en veshivoph esi qsugittoupemt vjev fu puv jewi nadj voni up vji xiilipf us fasoph vji xiil vu hiv vjios dest xetjif. Epf et O en cioph qeof qis des, ov ot puv vuu cef. O xepv vu vu opvisous cav O piif tuni deqovem gostv vu eggusf e wedaan ivd. Vjeplt gus vji voqt.