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Continue with them or go my own way ?

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Raoul Duke

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You
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If you want a friend. Buy a dog.
 
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jetstoltz

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May 29, 2021
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In my case they are people without ambition who simply aspire to a quiet and "normal" life, without shocks.
Never burn bridges, if you want to spend more time around people that inspire you do it.

There's nothing wrong with having a good time with friends, even if you have different goals.

Remember Happiness > Money
 

Mavrick614

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May 13, 2022
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@S.M. hit me up, I went thru a similar struggle and ended up with a group of much more entrprnuerial focused individuals.

It's much easier for me to communicate with them about all facets of life because they understand the struggle and speak the same language. They will also help you over hurdles and overcome problems in a way that others can't.
 
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Oso

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Jan 18, 2022
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I hang out with a group of friends. Together we have a good relationship,however they are all either sidewalkers or slowlaners. Their only ambition is to stay and live in their country/region,get a job,get a paycheck.My ambitions (also because I attend this forum) are inevitably different from theirs,and do not match theirs at all.What to do ? Continue with them or go my own way ?
(My personal experience, though I later learned (via therapy) most of my past friends/associates were a special type of toxic.)

I felt this way regarding 99.9% of my friends ~1.5 years ago. Most of them were similar: lazy, unmotivated (despite having kids/partners/debt/etc.), were seemingly in a state of never-ending toxicity. Their problems were everyone else's fault. I quickly realized these would be the people asking for handouts/jobs, being fake, more than likely growing resentful (despite the fact I've offered them to join me, with no risk to them, etc).

I figured we'd have bumps here and there, but would ultimately figure out a way to continue being friends... Being real here? It isn't going to work out. There will always be some form of resentment, jealousy, etc. If you fail, they laugh at you for not taking the "safe route." If you're successful, they resent you because it isn't them, and/or they feel they're entitled to what you have simply because <we've been friends since 14!>.

It genuinely breaks my heart to say this to you, especially considering I'm now 33 years old and have next to 0 friends.

Walk away, because if you don't, you'll end up hating/resenting them.
 
Last edited:

Leo Hartas

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May 17, 2018
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I hang out with a group of friends. Together we have a good relationship,however they are all either sidewalkers or slowlaners. Their only ambition is to stay and live in their country/region,get a job,get a paycheck.My ambitions (also because I attend this forum) are inevitably different from theirs,and do not match theirs at all.What to do ? Continue with them or go my own way ?
All my life I've tried to figure out friendships. I've come to the conclusion that it is very difficult to find the 'perfect' friend whether you are an entrepreneur or not. Instead I see people as as multifaceted and that you can usually find a part of them to connect with, from having a friendly chat about the weather at the checkout to deep conversations about your love life with a longstanding friend from school. There are very few in my 50 odd years that I feel I could connect with on the most interesting deeper levels or about my entrepreneurial endeavours. Most think I'm mad!

Everyone throws up walls, limits to where you can go in a relationship. I'm fascinated by what, where and when these limits appear. If they appear too soon and are rigorously defended it's a sign for me not to bother with investing in a friendship. Beyond this there are many who will seek to exploit you, especially if you have built up valuable skills that they lack but need for own entrepreneurial desires. Such people can be clever, manipulative and difficult to spot. Fallen for that a few times!

Depending on how you connect with friends there is usually something you can learn. In fact some of happiest moments have been helping a friend do some DIY, move home, or any project together. When there is a mutual 'flow' of learning and achievement between you. Others are just fabulously entertaining. They may be an a**hole in many respects, but the laughs can bring valuable joy. And some can really be relied on to support you when you are down.

I could go on. Truth is, friends are human, and as such infinately complex whether fastlane, slowlane or sidewalk. Finding and keeping good friends is as tricky as finding a good life partner. You really have to curate your friendships, and it's one of the most complicated and difficult life skills to learn. It may suit some to go 'lone wolf', but for me I need the texture friends bring to my life and endeavours.
 

woken

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Mar 24, 2021
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I think OP is not busy enough.

There needs to be a balance. You don’t need to get rid of your friends. If your ambitions keep you busy you’ll have no time to meet up anyways.
 
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Busy24s

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Jul 30, 2021
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I hang out with a group of friends. Together we have a good relationship,however they are all either sidewalkers or slowlaners. Their only ambition is to stay and live in their country/region,get a job,get a paycheck.My ambitions (also because I attend this forum) are inevitably different from theirs,and do not match theirs at all.What to do ? Continue with them or go my own way ?
If they are "good people" keep them, however at a reasonable distance. I don't think many people understand how influential friends are. Here below are two hypothetical examples of how you could be influenced.

Example 1: You're working a demanding full time job, and so are your friends. After work they rush home to go and "relax", and on Fridays and weekends they go out clubbing and etc.

Example 2: You're working a demanding full time job, and so are your friends. However, these friends spend their evenings after work learning a new skill/ or actively pursuing ways to advance themselves in their career.

Being honest, do you really think both examples would have the same influence on you?
 

Providence

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Oct 21, 2020
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Such an awful cliche.

No wonder successful people are often lonely. Too many people propogate this myth.

First off, the five people you spend the most time with, as an entrepreneur, is often either your family or your employees. So you're the average of 3 kids and a partner? The average of your top employees?

Taken literally, this triteness makes no sense.

Sure, it is great to be in rooms with people smarter or more successful than you. But how much time do you really get with people like that? They've got their own lives too. And it gets harder to do as everyone gets older and more settled.

But people act like Musk, Jobs, Gates, Bezos, and Buffet all hang out with only each other and that's how they got to be so grrrrreat. Puh-lease.

Sure, some people "hold you back", if you let them.

Those same people are often the best ones to "keep you grounded".

It's all perspective. Truly, we can't answer this question for you

If you have real friends, not just "people I hang out with", but I'm talking true blue philos-love level friends, don't cut those people from your life for any reason. Maybe you spend less time while you pursue your dreams, and you'll know they're there for you when they celebrate your successes.

If these are just "friends for now" then so what? What's wrong with having beers with sidewalkers and sharing some laughs?

Ultimately the only one holding you back from your dreams is you.

If you have bigger dreams than your friends what are you doing to pursue them? What action can you take today to make those dreams a reality?

That's what you need to worry about...
Different perspective but true to the Heart, heck i keep a few sidewalks around(not too close) just to know what's happening in dey circles
 

UlmerHere

New Contributor
May 17, 2022
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Thanks for the feedback. The problem is that they want to live a let's say "normal" life, not moving from their region, finding a job there and continuing to hang out with the same people. This goes absolutely against my intentions, which would be to go and live abroad and settle there. Moreover, I have the feeling that in this way I could find better people and live more experiences.
I also think that they would not understand or believe in the Fastlane philosophy.
I personally think you overestimate the importance of your friends and surroundings having the same philosophy as you. So you think and act differently from them regarding work, so what? I think it's valuable to try to receive different kinds of quality time from different kinds of people and develop the different aspects of your personality in this way. These aren't supposed to be your work buddies or employees, so who cares if they want to live a slow "normal" life?
 
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