Complicated interpersonal relationships.

[Satoshi]

Recently, I’ve been having some troubles with interpersonal relationships, especially when it comes to communication. When the other person doesn’t reply to your messages, you can always feel a sense of disrespect. But when you have more value or status, social interactions become less difficult. Is this the essence of human relationships? Is this what can be called human nature? Should I focus on improving my own value before engaging in social interactions? But if you’re already valuable enough, wouldn’t that mean you no longer need social connections? Interpersonal relationships are indeed quite complicated.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[TheWiseGuy]

Can you provide more context?

 

[Kevin88660]

I noticed it’s a Gen Z thing. They like to ghost people and it’s normalised.

I remember recently recruiting a dude age 27 into my business and trade and he talk to me an hour about how passionate he is about this business.

I added him to another business associate then after fixing an interview date and he missed it and rearrange then…suddenly he exited the group.

I feel like calling him and lecture him as if he had a missing father in his life (he didn’t) despite me being no more than ten years older than him. But I refrained. Because I am still recruiting and looks like this is normal..not gonna be angry about it.

Happened to another 25 year old good looking girl I know on a dating app. She asked me out, led with interest, after 3 dates when I showed back interest start to exhibit behavior of distancing and my radar sensed that she is about to ghost (after my recruitment experience). When she officially ghosted, I sent her a screenshot of my interactive broker account’s net asset value.

Ghost all you want, but don’t expect me to be not even sarcastic towards your childish behavior.

If everyone just accept and move on and hope people with bad behavior learnt their lessons elsewhere, then they will never learn anything.

 

[Kevin88660]

Recently, I’ve been having some troubles with interpersonal relationships, especially when it comes to communication. When the other person doesn’t reply to your messages, you can always feel a sense of disrespect. But when you have more value or status, social interactions become less difficult. Is this the essence of human relationships? Is this what can be called human nature? Should I focus on improving my own value before engaging in social interactions? But if you’re already valuable enough, wouldn’t that mean you no longer need social connections? Interpersonal relationships are indeed quite complicated.

You can have value and status but people can still choose to shit on you.

You need to have both carrots and sticks in your kit.

It’s like a kungfu master who rarely uses the kungfu but you make sure people know you have it.

Fear, not love, keeps people in good behavior.

 

[BellaPippin]

When the other person doesn’t reply to your messages, you can always feel a sense of disrespect

When the other person doesn't reply to your messages, it says more about them than what it says about you, so just move on, and going forward don't go out of your way for someone who can't be bothered with answering a message. Unless you were being a dick and the kind of person that won't hear reasoning so it's not worth answering, but that's too specific.

But when you have more value or status, social interactions become less difficult.

What kind of value are we talking about? what kind of status? what kind of difficulty are we talking about?

I agree we need more context

 

[Kybalion]

Who cares if they reply or not? Don't you have other things to do but worry about getting a reply? It's not as much of a status thing as much as having a full life so you don't even notice that someone didn't reply.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[PRESENTUR]

I would like to introduce you to a concept from Albert Ellis. It is called USA for unconditional self acceptance. It is crucial to understand that. You accept yourself no matter what. No conditions. You dont need a screenshot of your broker account. You dont get a hype when it shows some money, you dont get depressed when it shows none. You are free from that. You accept yourself independent from anything. Albert Ellis had a very funny and heated discussion about that with the Ex Husband from Ayn Rand, Nathaniel Branden. He wrote dozens of books about self confidence and how to build it up and stuff. Ellis pointed out, that the highest self confidence is simply the other side of the coin of seld doubt and misery. It is the exact same pattern. You high status? Good. You low status? Uuuh bad. This axis will always turn against you. So start USA. Unconditional Self Acceptance. You are broke? You have no emotional stress. You got rich quick? Your ego does not knock the ceiling. You are just chilled. Allow everyone the freedom to think, say and do whatever they wish. And allow yourself that same freedom. No emotional stress because you do not.get blocked on absolute demands "oh she has to call me, he has to answer, he has to respect me..." No. You wish they would. Do not mistake your preference with how you yourself, others or the world has to be necessarily. They dont. Dont put absolute demands on yourself, others or the world. You can always express your preference. And while you do, be ready to unconditionally accept their answer. Allow that freedom and you will always have peace.
Or as Jiddhu Krishnamurti said:
"You wanna know my secret? ...
I dont mind what happens."

 

[Simon Angel]

I noticed it’s a Gen Z thing. They like to ghost people and it’s normalised.

I remember recently recruiting a dude age 27 into my business and trade and he talk to me an hour about how passionate he is about this business.

I added him to another business associate then after fixing an interview date and he missed it and rearrange then…suddenly he exited the group.

I feel like calling him and lecture him as if he had a missing father in his life (he didn’t) despite me being no more than ten years older than him. But I refrained. Because I am still recruiting and looks like this is normal..not gonna be angry about it.

Happened to another 25 year old good looking girl I know on a dating app. She asked me out, led with interest, after 3 dates when I showed back interest start to exhibit behavior of distancing and my radar sensed that she is about to ghost (after my recruitment experience). When she officially ghosted, I sent her a screenshot of my interactive broker account’s net asset value.

Ghost all you want, but don’t expect me to be not even sarcastic towards your childish behavior.

If everyone just accept and move on and hope people with bad behavior learnt their lessons elsewhere, then they will never learn anything.

You let her take the lead and invite you on three dates. She didn't like what she saw. So you ask her to meet up and she went cold on you. Big deal.

She didn't do it because she thought you didn't have money. She did it because you didn't do anything on those three dates other than show up.

You need to have fun, connect on an emotional level, and engage in some form of intimacy on those dates.: laughing at the guy next table that keeps on farting, talking about your passions, dreams, and fears, and being comfortable with each other's touch.

What you don't do is show up in interview mode or talk about politics and past relationships. Don't talk about nor flaunt your money or status—that's how you become a provider.

If you want to date successfully, you need to get over yourself first. A date doesn't have to go anywhere, so stop thinking about your future with that person and immerse yourself in the present moment.

And lastly, stop thinking money makes you attractive or more desirable as a person because you'll end up alone and bitter. If money, looks, and status were all that's needed, women wouldn't cheat on and divorce men like Brad Pitt.

But they do.

 

[Kevin88660]

You let her take the lead and invite you on three dates. She didn't like what she saw. So you ask her to meet up and she went cold on you. Big deal.

She didn't do it because she thought you didn't have money. She did it because you didn't do anything on those three dates other than show up.

You need to have fun, connect on an emotional level, and engage in some form of intimacy on those dates.: laughing at the guy next table that keeps on farting, talking about your passions, dreams, and fears, and being comfortable with each other's touch.

What you don't do is show up in interview mode or talk about politics and past relationships. Don't talk about nor flaunt your money or status—that's how you become a provider.

If you want to date successfully, you need to get over yourself first. A date doesn't have to go anywhere, so stop thinking about your future with that person and immerse yourself in the present moment.

And lastly, stop thinking money makes you attractive or more desirable as a person because you'll end up alone and bitter. If money, looks, and status were all that's needed, women wouldn't cheat on and divorce men like Brad Pitt.

But they do.

The purpose of my content is less about what makes dating successful but more about not normalizing childish behavior (that I see in under 30s these days).

If Satoshi is the one pitching himself to others, do expect that others to not reciprocate.

It’s another thing if people are trolling you and wasting your time, intentionally or unintentionally.

It’s hard to judge which is which, but if you use your heart to feel you can tell, that people voted you as dispensable with a click of a button. Pure disrespect because they think they not gonna see you again anyway.

If you expect me to be at the receiving end of ghosting, then I expect you to be not offended at my random musings and flexes. Look who has the last laugh? Maybe you wasted an opportunity too? Too bad you screwed up?

It’s like when a newcomer once came to fastlane forum and talked about how he used fastlane logo to create merchandise, MJ quickly reminded him that selling those without permission will invite lawyers letter from MJ.

Only carrots without sticks won’t work.

Ghosting is just rude. Plain and simple. No excuse. To do it towards someone senior and older than you just makes it worse.

 

[Lou7]

When the other person doesn't reply to your messages, it says more about them than what it says about you, so just move on, and going forward don't go out of your way for someone who can't be bothered with answering a message. Unless you were being a dick and the kind of person that won't hear reasoning so it's not worth answering, but that's too specific.


What kind of value are we talking about? what kind of status? what kind of difficulty are we talking about?

I agree we need more context

she is right here. You will face this a looot of times. Specially if this is in dating context. It's normal

So, just keep going

 

[Kybalion]

The purpose of my content is less about what makes dating successful but more about not normalizing childish behavior (that I see in under 30s these days).

Sending a girl your interactive broker account’s net asset value after getting ghosted is way more childish than ghosting . Let's not normalize that either.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Kevin88660]

Sending a girl your interactive broker account’s net asset value after getting ghosted is way more childish than ghosting . Let's not normalize that either.

It’s my FU without the F word.

Anger suppression is a major cause of cancer.

If trolls keep meeting nice people who brainwash themselves that think they are beyond this and just “move on” the end result is trolls keep trolling, and good people have higher propensity of getting cancer.

I am just saying don’t feel guilty to say FU before moving on.

Trolls will think twice before doing the same nonsense to others.

 

[DareDevil]

Listen Brother ,

Pain is inevitable in life but suffering is optional,

Suffering comes from expectations

Expectation from external environment a outcome like making X amount of money , your women / man etc

So How you overcome it , How do you build emotional resilience

Focus on what you do , your actions , your thoughts today is more important than a particular outcome

no matter what , if you are doing your best work , living in alignment with your vision , treating people right

from your side no matter their behaviour you are doing great and you don't need any external validation

So PROCESS>EVENT

 

[DareDevil]

It’s my FU without the F word.

Anger suppression is a major cause of cancer.

If trolls keep meeting nice people who brainwash themselves that think they are beyond this and just “move on” the end result is trolls keep trolling, and good people have higher propensity of getting cancer.

I am just saying don’t feel guilty to say FU before moving on.

I know it hurt man , pretty girl ghosting you , it happens to all of us , don't remain bitter , instead of bank account next time you could ask , we had great time together, I just haven't heard from you since then are you too busy? / If I made you uncomfortable just let me know! Done you did your part after that its not your responsiblity
*This advice is just to help I am not a ceritified dating coach and hold no responsiblity for it lol*

 

[Kevin88660]

I know it hurt man , pretty girl ghosting you , it happens to all of us , don't remain bitter , instead of bank account next time you could ask , we had great time together, I just haven't heard from you since then are you too busy? / If I made you uncomfortable just let me know! Done you did your part after that its not your responsiblity
*This advice is just to help I am not a ceritified dating coach and hold no responsiblity for it lol*

The context didn’t matter because only the people involved know the full context. It’s Nth time me and my business associate has been dealing with this generation from ongoing business recruitment.

The point I am driving across is respectability is partly earned from having the ability to have people think twice before messing with you, because they fear you.

Most people are nice and good and they deserved to be rewarded by you. You need to build your own capital to reward good behavior and own rules of engagement for bad haviour.

Two years back there was a troll (not gen z)who was supposed to meet me for business at a supposed timing and place, and despite my messages reminder, did not show up, did not reply (message blue tick) and of course did not indicate his intention of not turning up.

I called him twenty times until he picked up and i told him we are supposed to meet and I worry that “you are caught in a bad accident or something on the way and genuinely hope that you are alright.” He quickly apologized and said he overslept and he was sorry about it. Of course we never talked again but I had the final victory because he will think twice before playing the same punk on someone else again. I am doing my job to clean up the humanity.

 

[Satoshi]

Actually, when a girl doesn't reply to messages, it's quite clear that she's just not into you. There's no need for us to bother her further; we can simply move on to the next. What troubles me is the fundamental logic of interpersonal relationships. Essentially, on the path to success, we encounter a variety of people. If you aim to network upwards, you might not get a response or respect, as the other party may deem your level not up to theirs. However, if you socialize with people at your own level, you won't grow. This implies that, in most cases, you have to move forward alone, because there are many who don't really wish for you to become better than them. Does this mean we need to achieve success first before seeking and maintaining stable interpersonal relationships?

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Satoshi]

This is precisely one of the issues that troubles me. In the process of interacting with people, I've noticed that if you frequently and kindly consider others' feelings, they tend to take advantage of your kindness and increasingly disrespect you. On the other hand, if someone wants something from you—be it money, information, or the secrets to making money—they will act very warmly toward you. However, once they have fully obtained what they want, they will constantly seek to replace you. I wonder, if most people are like this, then interpersonal relationships are actually very complex and energy-draining.

 

[Kevin88660]

Actually, when a girl doesn't reply to messages, it's quite clear that she's just not into you. There's no need for us to bother her further; we can simply move on to the next. What troubles me is the fundamental logic of interpersonal relationships. Essentially, on the path to success, we encounter a variety of people. If you aim to network upwards, you might not get a response or respect, as the other party may deem your level not up to theirs. However, if you socialize with people at your own level, you won't grow. This implies that, in most cases, you have to move forward alone, because there are many who don't really wish for you to become better than them. Does this mean we need to achieve success first before seeking and maintaining stable interpersonal relationships?

You can earn your spot to “network up”.

A premium gym membership, A good master program placing, a cubicle flat in a prime estate.

Or you have social media audience.

Anything that has some entry barrier that allows you to meet others who “passed the test.”

 

[Satoshi]

Thank you, this is an extremely valuable life lesson.

 

[Think180]

This is precisely one of the issues that troubles me. In the process of interacting with people, I've noticed that if you frequently and kindly consider others' feelings, they tend to take advantage of your kindness and increasingly disrespect you. On the other hand, if someone wants something from you—be it money, information, or the secrets to making money—they will act very warmly toward you. However, once they have fully obtained what they want, they will constantly seek to replace you. I wonder, if most people are like this, then interpersonal relationships are actually very complex and energy-draining.

I think you might be expecting too much. What are you bringing to them? Successful people are busy and not necessarily able or willing to help everyone who reaches out to them. I don't have the context so I don't know what you are doing or expecting.

Find ways to get to know the people you are wanting to help you and try hard to give before you ask for anything. Are you in the same groups as these people? Chamber of Commerce, business groups, hobby groups, sports clubs/gyms?

As a teen I wrote to 10 of the leaders and business people I admired. I briefly explained that I was starting a business and wondered what one piece of advice they could give me. Then, briefly, I explained that I admired X about them and looked forward to getting their reply. To make it easy I enclosed a stamped self addressed envelope. I received 4 replies and all of them gave me more advice/tips than I had asked for. 2 of them became mentors and friends.