c.dream journey

[c.dream87]

Hello to all,
I signed up a year ago, my mother and I had created a project without basics, and this year in May, talking to a good friend of mine in these things, we stopped everything.
We took this time to put his advice into practice, the paper project works a lot.
In fact, at the end of September we got a good project on the road, with new foundations, I think the wrong one though ...
Because so far we have not had any results. My mother is blaming me when I put her all over.
I am depressed by my father's death, I do not see way out. It's getting worse, work, my life, my relationship with my boyfriend,
all Black.
Now I'm trying another idea ...
let's see if it works.

So I'll try to find a little light ... to shine.

Sorry for this post ... if it's not in the right place, move it or delete it.
Good evening / day at all

 

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[c.dream87]

.... here I am almost a year from this last post.
The project eventually turned out to be beautiful only on paper.

We are still sharing with a similar project,
always and only the two of us, but with another girl who is much more practical.

since my personal life is bad, we hope to revive my working life.

This time my commitment must be maximum !!

I'll try to find a little light ... to shine.

 

[c.dream87]

I have not written here since September, what has changed in 5 months? Little or almost nothing. With a group of friends we are implementing other projects, but if I have to tell the truth, it seems to me that my project with my mother is setting aside.
I believe a lot in this project, in fact two weeks ago I contacted a person from Dubai, he was interested in my product to be exported, unfortunately he wanted something and we do others. We told him that if he was interested we could get along.
I have to sell. As soon as possible, Sunday I am 32 years old, and I still live with my mother and her partner and we can not stand each other. My partner is worse off than me, I can not even bring him up from Sicily, I can not keep myself, let alone him!

 

[c.dream87]

oh well, it's since December that I do not write.
I feel more and more run aground.
I do not know what to do, say, write.
I only know that I want to leave here, but I can not.
I do not have money.
I would need a miracle.
I do not want to make flea markets, it seems a waste of money and time.
Will I be the wrong one?
Am I the one who makes disasters ??
I'm not there.
I want to be independent, I want to do something for the others, get settled with the boyfriend, I want to make my mother feel comfortable. I only have her, and I've disappointed her so many times, even now.
I am 32 years old.
If I go on like this I go into depression.
Or I continue to be.

Speaking of work, I had a contact with a guy from Dubai, but unfortunately he did not go to port. He was looking for bags in series, but we only make unique products.
Crossed fingers, this year must be the right year.
Home, cohabitation, daughter, mother settled and thoughtless, dogs and cats, and lots of money.
Mari, ready?

 

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[c.dream87]

And nothing, the project I had started with my mother, pauses for a moment.
I have been screaming for two weeks, giving me all the guilt of his life gone bad, ok, I'm 32, I take my guilt. I accept them and try to improve myself.
Yesterday I updated my poor curriculum vitae, I turned it to only two companies looking for people to hire.
My CV is miserable because I have only two jobs, from 2009 to today.
I'm a shit.
I would like to leave this house, but at the moment I lack the money. So, I have to find a job right now. Help my mother and then leave.
I'm alone on this trip, my boyfriend does not know anything, I did not tell him anything, it's my problem and I'll solve it by myself. Maybe.
I know that my trip to the fastlane stops here.
I want to be taken, but I do not have the means, I do not know how to do it, I'm alone but I would like to be a team with someone.
Divide up your duties, sit in front of a café and talk about innovations, marketing, expansions.
Is everything so difficult?
This thread is becoming a wailing wall

 

[NMdad]

Working with family can often--usually--be a nest of problems, since you end up magnifying any family problems by working with them.

My hunch is that depression from your father's death affects not just you but your mom. When my father died (I was 21), his death brought out a TON of issues in my family; I was at a pivotal point in life, trying to decide on a path, and with all the family issues, family members made things MORE difficult for me. Surround yourself with people who will listen to you without judgement.

You're only 32. There's still time.

You're not alone. The people on this forum--and others in your life--can help. On this forum, it seems that more specific topics get more attention, so you might consider asking a more specific question so you can get more specific input from the forum.

Read @Andy Black's thread about helping someone:
Who have you helped?
Helping others is the easiest, quickest path out of your dark place. Helping others makes us feel good, provides meaning, and can lead to money in the bank.

 

[c.dream87]

Thank you @NMdad for replying, and thank you for all the things you have written.
The problems were born a year / two after the death of my father, and the fault is mine. Only mine.
I convinced my mother to sign another mortgage in the house and then I did not help her at all. My days were a bed-sofa-bed.
He had an affair two months after my father died and I had a bad reaction, wrong.

A couple of hours ago we quarreled, and I know that this time it will be hard to resume a relationship without even bringing the mortgage back to me, to talk to me without having the voice annoyed.

So I deserve it all I've been through, because I chose it.

We hope that there is still time, because I want to have a beautiful life, love, family, friends, professional satisfaction, and keep my mother in my life, I remain only her family, I have relatives but we have not seen for years.
I want to be able to rebuild a relationship with her.
She is the only one I care about, comes before myself and my fiancé.

But where do I start? Without money, without a diploma, with a disproportionate weight (the latter is already under control)

Thanks for the post you shared, I will read it very willingly.
Sorry for my post so long

 

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[c.dream87]

A quarter of an hour ago I received a call for an interview on Monday.
I know what I wrote yesterday, that I do not want to work for others, but only for me.
Right now I need to get out of the house, get a work experience out of here.
We cross our fingers and that the interview goes well.

 

[NMdad]

There's nothing wrong with getting a job if you need to pay bills; a job will also create structure in your life, and it sounds like you might benefit from that--too much unstructured time can be a bad thing.

Don't blame yourself for others' choices. We each are responsible for our own behavior and the consequences of those behaviors.

Decide what, specifically, you want in each area of your life, envision what you want, then figure out what you need to do to make that vision reality. Then take action, assess, and adjust.

 

[c.dream87]

Yes you are right. Now I need a job to help my mother with the bills, the mortgage, and the inconveniences that can happen.
This unexpected call made me want to do projects.
If the interview goes as it should go, I have the possibility to do some courses that can also help me with my and my mother's project.

 

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[theOfficialRJ]

I read your reply in a different thread (What's stopping you?) and I think I sort of have an idea of what your situation is.

You have product (if you mother co-operates) and you don't know how to sell it, correct? You prefer to sell it online and not in a brick and mortar store. This is what I would do as well. I've been into e-commerce for the past five months or so, and my business has just recently started to take off.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done in order to launch a store/product. My advice is to outsource a lot of these technical tasks like product photography, branding, store setup, order fulfilment etc.; and focus on the important things like marketing, competetive research etc. Definitely teach yourself the facebook and google shopping ads platforms.

I learned this the hard way after spending thousands of dollars but the most important thing is marketing. You can literally sell shit to people if you know how to market it right (and people are successfully selling shit. I'll show you their store if you don't believe me lol).

I have some resources that have helped me learn about advertising, and e-commerce in general. I can send them over to you if you are interested.

 

[RoadTrip]

You have to take things one step at a time. So you feel guilty for still living at home with your mother. Put all your efforts in finding a job first. It helps you stand with two feet on the ground, gain confidence, opens you up to new opportunities, provides you with money and you can help your mother pay for the mortgage.

I believe you live in Italy? I don't think there's anything wrong with living with your mother so the both of you can have a roof above your head. It's especially not an issue in Italy where it's a lot more common to live with your parents even in your 30's...

So once you have found a job, you can now start focussing on one thing at a time. You will have more confidence so perhaps you can start dating. In the meanwhile you focus on 1 business only. Decide whether you want to continue with the bags, or start something completely different.

And remember 1 thing: only YOU can decide to be happy RIGHT NOW.

 

[NMdad]

Something else to consider is that working on a business with a family member can be problematic. Same with having any business partner: you have to choose very wisely and make sure it's a good fit for both of you.

I have an acquaintance that was working with her mother on a physical product. They had a promising product that solved a need in a niche market, but the mother & daughter were working at cross-purposes--they had different goals and different ideas about what the priority tasks were in the business. They were both frustrated with each other.

 

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[c.dream87]

I have some resources that have helped me learn about advertising, and e-commerce in general. I can send them over to you if you are interested.

Hi @theOfficialRJ , I completely agree with you,
I need to understand marketing better, because as I have already repeated the product is beautiful,
it's me who is lacking, unfortunately!

If you do not mind, can you pass me the resources?
Thank you very much, very kind

You have to take things one step at a time. So you feel guilty for still living at home with your mother. Put all your efforts in finding a job first. It helps you stand with two feet on the ground, gain confidence, opens you up to new opportunities, provides you with money and you can help your mother pay for the mortgage.

I believe you live in Italy? I don't think there's anything wrong with living with your mother so the both of you can have a roof above your head. It's especially not an issue in Italy where it's a lot more common to live with your parents even in your 30's...

So once you have found a job, you can now start focussing on one thing at a time. You will have more confidence so perhaps you can start dating. In the meanwhile you focus on 1 business only. Decide whether you want to continue with the bags, or start something completely different.

And remember 1 thing: only YOU can decide to be happy RIGHT NOW.

Thanks @RoadTrip , I needed these words.
This year will really be my real change.
Fingers crossed!

Something else to consider is that working on a business with a family member can be problematic. Same with having any business partner: you have to choose very wisely and make sure it's a good fit for both of you.

I have an acquaintance that was working with her mother on a physical product. They had a promising product that solved a need in a niche market, but the mother & daughter were working at cross-purposes--they had different goals and different ideas about what the priority tasks were in the business. They were both frustrated with each other.

@NMdad, my mother and I have a good understanding,
she's worried too much, and gets angry with me.
By now I'm used to it, but I have to run for cover as soon as possible

 

[c.dream87]

Here I am in my diary ... did something happen ??
Yes sure! Last week I had two job interviews, they didn't go well, but I already knew it, it wasn't news!
With my mother we go pretty well, one day it's good and the other insults me ... today he cursed me! (I do not know whether to laugh or cry!)

So ... my job search goes on, especially to start taking all my responsibilities that I've done and, above all, I haven't done!

Second I have to find someone to give me serious marketing lessons (I found only people who talked about marketing, but not how, when and why!)
I know, I would ask for free lessons, the problem is that!

With my boyfriend it is better that we do not open the book ... there would be so much to say!

 

[theOfficialRJ]

Here I am in my diary ... did something happen ??
Yes sure! Last week I had two job interviews, they didn't go well, but I already knew it, it wasn't news!
With my mother we go pretty well, one day it's good and the other insults me ... today he cursed me! (I do not know whether to laugh or cry!)

So ... my job search goes on, especially to start taking all my responsibilities that I've done and, above all, I haven't done!

Second I have to find someone to give me serious marketing lessons (I found only people who talked about marketing, but not how, when and why!)
I know, I would ask for free lessons, the problem is that!

With my boyfriend it is better that we do not open the book ... there would be so much to say!

How did you find someone to teach you about marketing? Did you look into setting up a Etsy store?

 

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[c.dream87]

Hi, sorry if I answer you now, but this week has been a nightmare.
However I answer your questions:

How did you find someone to teach you about marketing?

No I didn't find anyone to teach me marketing, I would love it because I need it as air.

Did you look into setting up a Etsy store?

Yes, I examined the creation of an etsy shop, but unfortunately I don't think it's right for us.

 

[MitchM]

Hi, sorry if I answer you now, but this week has been a nightmare.
However I answer your questions:



No I didn't find anyone to teach me marketing, I would love it because I need it as air.



Yes, I examined the creation of an etsy shop, but unfortunately I don't think it's right for us.

If you want, shoot me a message and maybe we can get into contact.

It sounds to me like you could really use somebody one on one to talk to and maybe I can help you out.

I will be busy but I come on here during the evenings some days and maybe then we can arrange a call or something.

Good luck’

 

[c.dream87]

I update my "diary for the fastlane"
Leaving aside my private life for a moment, between last night and today I modified and updated the website.
These days I'm also looking for markets for creatives to go out with products.
It's hard because I live in a strange spot, hardly reachable by tourists, so if we want to do something interesting we have to grind many miles.

But I'll make it this time. I don't want to disappoint myself, my mother, my father's soul and my grandfather's soul just gone away.

And I want to get out of this depression that has been following me for 10 years.

 

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