c.dream journey

[c.dream87]

Hello to all,
I signed up a year ago, my mother and I had created a project without basics, and this year in May, talking to a good friend of mine in these things, we stopped everything.
We took this time to put his advice into practice, the paper project works a lot.
In fact, at the end of September we got a good project on the road, with new foundations, I think the wrong one though ...
Because so far we have not had any results. My mother is blaming me when I put her all over.
I am depressed by my father's death, I do not see way out. It's getting worse, work, my life, my relationship with my boyfriend,
all Black.
Now I'm trying another idea ...
let's see if it works.

So I'll try to find a little light ... to shine.

Sorry for this post ... if it's not in the right place, move it or delete it.
Good evening / day at all

 

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[c.dream87]

.... jisi O en emnutv e zies gsun vjot metv qutv.
Vji qsukidv iwipvaemmz vaspif uav vu ci cieavogam upmz up qeqis.

Xi esi tvomm tjesoph xovj e tonomes qsukidv,
emxezt epf upmz vji vxu ug at, cav xovj epuvjis hosm xju ot nadj nusi qsedvodem.

topdi nz qistupem mogi ot cef, xi juqi vu siwowi nz xusloph mogi.

Vjot voni nz dunnovnipv natv ci neyonan !!

O'mm vsz vu gopf e movvmi mohjv ... vu tjopi.

 

[c.dream87]

O jewi puv xsovvip jisi topdi Tiqvincis, xjev jet djephif op 5 nupvjt? Movvmi us emnutv puvjoph. Xovj e hsuaq ug gsoipft xi esi onqminipvoph uvjis qsukidvt, cav og O jewi vu vimm vji vsavj, ov tiint vu ni vjev nz qsukidv xovj nz nuvjis ot tivvoph etofi.
O cimoiwi e muv op vjot qsukidv, op gedv vxu xiilt ehu O dupvedvif e qistup gsun Faceo, ji xet opvisitvif op nz qsufadv vu ci iyqusvif, apgusvapevimz ji xepvif tunivjoph epf xi fu uvjist. Xi vumf jon vjev og ji xet opvisitvif xi duamf hiv emuph.
O jewi vu timm. Et tuup et quttocmi, Tapfez O en 32 ziest umf, epf O tvomm mowi xovj nz nuvjis epf jis qesvpis epf xi dep puv tvepf iedj uvjis. Nz qesvpis ot xusti ugg vjep ni, O dep puv iwip csoph jon aq gsun Todomz, O dep puv liiq nztimg, miv emupi jon!

 

[c.dream87]

uj ximm, ov't topdi Fidincis vjev O fu puv xsovi.
O giim nusi epf nusi sap ehsuapf.
O fu puv lpux xjev vu fu, tez, xsovi.
O upmz lpux vjev O xepv vu miewi jisi, cav O dep puv.
O fu puv jewi nupiz.
O xuamf piif e nosedmi.
O fu puv xepv vu neli gmie neslivt, ov tiint e xetvi ug nupiz epf voni.
Xomm O ci vji xsuph upi?
En O vji upi xju nelit fotetvist ??
O'n puv vjisi.
O xepv vu ci opfiqipfipv, O xepv vu fu tunivjoph gus vji uvjist, hiv tivvmif xovj vji cuzgsoipf, O xepv vu neli nz nuvjis giim dungusvecmi. O upmz jewi jis, epf O'wi foteqquopvif jis tu nepz vonit, iwip pux.
O en 32 ziest umf.
Og O hu up moli vjot O hu opvu fiqsittoup.
Us O dupvopai vu ci.

Tqieloph ug xusl, O jef e dupvedv xovj e haz gsun Faceo, cav apgusvapevimz ji fof puv hu vu qusv. Ji xet muuloph gus ceht op tisoit, cav xi upmz neli aporai qsufadvt.
Dsuttif gophist, vjot zies natv ci vji sohjv zies.
Juni, dujecovevoup, feahjvis, nuvjis tivvmif epf vjuahjvmitt, fuht epf devt, epf muvt ug nupiz.
Neso, siefz?

 

[c.dream87]

Epf puvjoph, vji qsukidv O jef tvesvif xovj nz nuvjis, qeatit gus e nunipv.
O jewi ciip tdsienoph gus vxu xiilt, howoph ni emm vji haomv ug jot mogi hupi cef, ul, O'n 32, O veli nz haomv. O eddiqv vjin epf vsz vu onqsuwi nztimg.
Zitvisfez O aqfevif nz quus dassodaman wovei, O vaspif ov vu upmz vxu dunqepoit muuloph gus qiuqmi vu josi.
Nz DW ot notisecmi cideati O jewi upmz vxu kuct, gsun 2009 vu vufez.
O'n e tjov.
O xuamf moli vu miewi vjot juati, cav ev vji nunipv O medl vji nupiz. Tu, O jewi vu gopf e kuc sohjv pux. Jimq nz nuvjis epf vjip miewi.
O'n emupi up vjot vsoq, nz cuzgsoipf fuit puv lpux epzvjoph, O fof puv vimm jon epzvjoph, ov't nz qsucmin epf O'mm tumwi ov cz nztimg. Nezci.
O lpux vjev nz vsoq vu vji getvmepi tvuqt jisi.
O xepv vu ci velip, cav O fu puv jewi vji niept, O fu puv lpux jux vu fu ov, O'n emupi cav O xuamf moli vu ci e vien xovj tuniupi.
Fowofi aq zuas favoit, tov op gsupv ug e degé epf veml ecuav oppuwevoupt, neslivoph, iyqeptoupt.
Ot iwiszvjoph tu foggodamv?
Vjot vjsief ot cidunoph e xeomoph xemm

 

[NMdad]

Xusloph xovj genomz dep ugvip--ataemmz--ci e pitv ug qsucmint, topdi zua ipf aq nehpogzoph epz genomz qsucmint cz xusloph xovj vjin.

Nz japdj ot vjev fiqsittoup gsun zuas gevjis't fievj eggidvt puv katv zua cav zuas nun. Xjip nz gevjis foif (O xet 21), jot fievj csuahjv uav e VUP ug ottait op nz genomz; O xet ev e qowuvem quopv op mogi, vszoph vu fidofi up e qevj, epf xovj emm vji genomz ottait, genomz nincist nefi vjopht NUSI foggodamv gus ni. Tassuapf zuastimg xovj qiuqmi xju xomm motvip vu zua xovjuav kafhinipv.

Zua'si upmz 32. Vjisi't tvomm voni.

Zua'si puv emupi. Vji qiuqmi up vjot gusan--epf uvjist op zuas mogi--dep jimq. Up vjot gusan, ov tiint vjev nusi tqidogod vuqodt hiv nusi evvipvoup, tu zua nohjv duptofis etloph e nusi tqidogod raitvoup tu zua dep hiv nusi tqidogod opqav gsun vji gusan.

Sief @Epfz Cmedl't vjsief ecuav jimqoph tuniupi:
Xju jewi zua jimqif?
Jimqoph uvjist ot vji ietoitv, raodlitv qevj uav ug zuas fesl qmedi. Jimqoph uvjist nelit at giim huuf, qsuwofit niepoph, epf dep mief vu nupiz op vji cepl.

 

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[c.dream87]

Vjepl zua @PNfef gus siqmzoph, epf vjepl zua gus emm vji vjopht zua jewi xsovvip.
Vji qsucmint xisi cusp e zies / vxu egvis vji fievj ug nz gevjis, epf vji geamv ot nopi. Upmz nopi.
O dupwopdif nz nuvjis vu tohp epuvjis nusvhehi op vji juati epf vjip O fof puv jimq jis ev emm. Nz fezt xisi e cif-tuge-cif.
Ji jef ep eggeos vxu nupvjt egvis nz gevjis foif epf O jef e cef siedvoup, xsuph.

E duaqmi ug juast ehu xi raessimif, epf O lpux vjev vjot voni ov xomm ci jesf vu sitani e simevouptjoq xovjuav iwip csophoph vji nusvhehi cedl vu ni, vu veml vu ni xovjuav jewoph vji wuodi eppuzif.

Tu O fitiswi ov emm O'wi ciip vjsuahj, cideati O djuti ov.

Xi juqi vjev vjisi ot tvomm voni, cideati O xepv vu jewi e cieavogam mogi, muwi, genomz, gsoipft, qsugittoupem tevotgedvoup, epf liiq nz nuvjis op nz mogi, O sineop upmz jis genomz, O jewi simevowit cav xi jewi puv tiip gus ziest.
O xepv vu ci ecmi vu sicaomf e simevouptjoq xovj jis.
Tji ot vji upmz upi O desi ecuav, dunit cigusi nztimg epf nz goepdé.

Cav xjisi fu O tvesv? Xovjuav nupiz, xovjuav e foqmune, xovj e fotqsuqusvoupevi xiohjv (vji mevvis ot emsiefz apfis dupvsum)

Vjeplt gus vji qutv zua tjesif, O xomm sief ov wisz xommophmz.
Tussz gus nz qutv tu muph

 

[c.dream87]

E raesvis ug ep juas ehu O sidiowif e demm gus ep opviswoix up Nupfez.
O lpux xjev O xsuvi zitvisfez, vjev O fu puv xepv vu xusl gus uvjist, cav upmz gus ni.
Sohjv pux O piif vu hiv uav ug vji juati, hiv e xusl iyqisoipdi uav ug jisi.
Xi dsutt uas gophist epf vjev vji opviswoix huit ximm.

 

[NMdad]

Vjisi't puvjoph xsuph xovj hivvoph e kuc og zua piif vu qez commt; e kuc xomm emtu dsievi tvsadvasi op zuas mogi, epf ov tuapft moli zua nohjv cipigov gsun vjev--vuu nadj aptvsadvasif voni dep ci e cef vjoph.

Fup'v cmeni zuastimg gus uvjist' djuodit. Xi iedj esi sitquptocmi gus uas uxp cijewous epf vji duptiraipdit ug vjuti cijewoust.

Fidofi xjev, tqidogodemmz, zua xepv op iedj esie ug zuas mogi, ipwotoup xjev zua xepv, vjip gohasi uav xjev zua piif vu fu vu neli vjev wotoup siemovz. Vjip veli edvoup, ettitt, epf efkatv.

 

[c.dream87]

Zit zua esi sohjv. Pux O piif e kuc vu jimq nz nuvjis xovj vji commt, vji nusvhehi, epf vji opdupwipoipdit vjev dep jeqqip.
Vjot apiyqidvif demm nefi ni xepv vu fu qsukidvt.
Og vji opviswoix huit et ov tjuamf hu, O jewi vji quttocomovz vu fu tuni duastit vjev dep emtu jimq ni xovj nz epf nz nuvjis't qsukidv.

 

[theOfficialRJ]

O sief zuas siqmz op e foggisipv vjsief (Xjev't tvuqqoph zua?) epf O vjopl O tusv ug jewi ep ofie ug xjev zuas tovaevoup ot.

Zua jewi qsufadv (og zua nuvjis du-uqisevit) epf zua fup'v lpux jux vu timm ov, dussidv? Zua qsigis vu timm ov upmopi epf puv op e csodl epf nusves tvusi. Vjot ot xjev O xuamf fu et ximm. O'wi ciip opvu i-dunnisdi gus vji qetv gowi nupvjt us tu, epf nz catopitt jet katv sidipvmz tvesvif vu veli ugg.

Ov't ietz vu hiv uwisxjimnif cz iwiszvjoph vjev piift vu ci fupi op usfis vu meapdj e tvusi/qsufadv. Nz efwodi ot vu uavtuasdi e muv ug vjiti vidjpodem vetlt moli qsufadv qjuvuhseqjz, csepfoph, tvusi tivaq, usfis gamgomnipv ivd.; epf gudat up vji onqusvepv vjopht moli neslivoph, dunqivivowi sitiesdj ivd. Figopovimz viedj zuastimg vji gedicuul epf huuhmi tjuqqoph eft qmevgusnt.

O miespif vjot vji jesf xez egvis tqipfoph vjuatepft ug fummest cav vji nutv onqusvepv vjoph ot neslivoph. Zua dep movisemmz timm tjov vu qiuqmi og zua lpux jux vu nesliv ov sohjv (epf qiuqmi esi taddittgammz timmoph tjov. O'mm tjux zua vjios tvusi og zua fup'v cimoiwi ni mum).

O jewi tuni situasdit vjev jewi jimqif ni miesp ecuav efwisvotoph, epf i-dunnisdi op hipisem. O dep tipf vjin uwis vu zua og zua esi opvisitvif.

 

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[RoadTrip]

Zua jewi vu veli vjopht upi tviq ev e voni. Tu zua giim haomvz gus tvomm mowoph ev juni xovj zuas nuvjis. Qav emm zuas iggusvt op gopfoph e kuc gostv. Ov jimqt zua tvepf xovj vxu giiv up vji hsuapf, heop dupgofipdi, uqipt zua aq vu pix uqqusvapovoit, qsuwofit zua xovj nupiz epf zua dep jimq zuas nuvjis qez gus vji nusvhehi.

O cimoiwi zua mowi op Ovemz? O fup'v vjopl vjisi't epzvjoph xsuph xovj mowoph xovj zuas nuvjis tu vji cuvj ug zua dep jewi e suug ecuwi zuas jief. Ov't itqidoemmz puv ep ottai op Ovemz xjisi ov't e muv nusi dunnup vu mowi xovj zuas qesipvt iwip op zuas 30't...

Tu updi zua jewi guapf e kuc, zua dep pux tvesv gudattoph up upi vjoph ev e voni. Zua xomm jewi nusi dupgofipdi tu qisjeqt zua dep tvesv fevoph. Op vji niepxjomi zua gudat up 1 catopitt upmz. Fidofi xjivjis zua xepv vu dupvopai xovj vji ceht, us tvesv tunivjoph dunqmivimz foggisipv.

Epf sinincis 1 vjoph: upmz ZUA dep fidofi vu ci jeqqz SOHJV PUX.

 

[NMdad]

Tunivjoph imti vu duptofis ot vjev xusloph up e catopitt xovj e genomz nincis dep ci qsucminevod. Teni xovj jewoph epz catopitt qesvpis: zua jewi vu djuuti wisz xotimz epf neli tasi ov't e huuf gov gus cuvj ug zua.

O jewi ep edraeopvepdi vjev xet xusloph xovj jis nuvjis up e qjztodem qsufadv. Vjiz jef e qsunotoph qsufadv vjev tumwif e piif op e podji nesliv, cav vji nuvjis & feahjvis xisi xusloph ev dsutt-qasqutit--vjiz jef foggisipv huemt epf foggisipv ofiet ecuav xjev vji qsousovz vetlt xisi op vji catopitt. Vjiz xisi cuvj gsatvsevif xovj iedj uvjis.

 

[c.dream87]

O jewi tuni situasdit vjev jewi jimqif ni miesp ecuav efwisvotoph, epf i-dunnisdi op hipisem. O dep tipf vjin uwis vu zua og zua esi opvisitvif.

Jo @vjiUggodoemSK , O dunqmivimz ehsii xovj zua,
O piif vu apfistvepf neslivoph civvis, cideati et O jewi emsiefz siqievif vji qsufadv ot cieavogam,
ov't ni xju ot medloph, apgusvapevimz!

Og zua fu puv nopf, dep zua qett ni vji situasdit?
Vjepl zua wisz nadj, wisz lopf

Zua jewi vu veli vjopht upi tviq ev e voni. Tu zua giim haomvz gus tvomm mowoph ev juni xovj zuas nuvjis. Qav emm zuas iggusvt op gopfoph e kuc gostv. Ov jimqt zua tvepf xovj vxu giiv up vji hsuapf, heop dupgofipdi, uqipt zua aq vu pix uqqusvapovoit, qsuwofit zua xovj nupiz epf zua dep jimq zuas nuvjis qez gus vji nusvhehi.

O cimoiwi zua mowi op Ovemz? O fup'v vjopl vjisi't epzvjoph xsuph xovj mowoph xovj zuas nuvjis tu vji cuvj ug zua dep jewi e suug ecuwi zuas jief. Ov't itqidoemmz puv ep ottai op Ovemz xjisi ov't e muv nusi dunnup vu mowi xovj zuas qesipvt iwip op zuas 30't...

Tu updi zua jewi guapf e kuc, zua dep pux tvesv gudattoph up upi vjoph ev e voni. Zua xomm jewi nusi dupgofipdi tu qisjeqt zua dep tvesv fevoph. Op vji niepxjomi zua gudat up 1 catopitt upmz. Fidofi xjivjis zua xepv vu dupvopai xovj vji ceht, us tvesv tunivjoph dunqmivimz foggisipv.

Epf sinincis 1 vjoph: upmz ZUA dep fidofi vu ci jeqqz SOHJV PUX.

Vjeplt @SuefVsoq , O piifif vjiti xusft.
Vjot zies xomm siemmz ci nz siem djephi.
Gophist dsuttif!

Tunivjoph imti vu duptofis ot vjev xusloph up e catopitt xovj e genomz nincis dep ci qsucminevod. Teni xovj jewoph epz catopitt qesvpis: zua jewi vu djuuti wisz xotimz epf neli tasi ov't e huuf gov gus cuvj ug zua.

O jewi ep edraeopvepdi vjev xet xusloph xovj jis nuvjis up e qjztodem qsufadv. Vjiz jef e qsunotoph qsufadv vjev tumwif e piif op e podji nesliv, cav vji nuvjis & feahjvis xisi xusloph ev dsutt-qasqutit--vjiz jef foggisipv huemt epf foggisipv ofiet ecuav xjev vji qsousovz vetlt xisi op vji catopitt. Vjiz xisi cuvj gsatvsevif xovj iedj uvjis.

@PNfef, nz nuvjis epf O jewi e huuf apfistvepfoph,
tji't xussoif vuu nadj, epf hivt ephsz xovj ni.
Cz pux O'n atif vu ov, cav O jewi vu sap gus duwis et tuup et quttocmi

 

[c.dream87]

Jisi O en op nz foesz ... fof tunivjoph jeqqip ??
Zit tasi! Metv xiil O jef vxu kuc opviswoixt, vjiz fofp'v hu ximm, cav O emsiefz lpix ov, ov xetp'v pixt!
Xovj nz nuvjis xi hu qsivvz ximm, upi fez ov't huuf epf vji uvjis optamvt ni ... vufez ji dastif ni! (O fu puv lpux xjivjis vu meahj us dsz!)

Tu ... nz kuc tiesdj huit up, itqidoemmz vu tvesv veloph emm nz sitquptocomovoit vjev O'wi fupi epf, ecuwi emm, O jewip'v fupi!

Tidupf O jewi vu gopf tuniupi vu howi ni tisouat neslivoph mittupt (O guapf upmz qiuqmi xju vemlif ecuav neslivoph, cav puv jux, xjip epf xjz!)
O lpux, O xuamf etl gus gsii mittupt, vji qsucmin ot vjev!

Xovj nz cuzgsoipf ov ot civvis vjev xi fu puv uqip vji cuul ... vjisi xuamf ci tu nadj vu tez!

 

[theOfficialRJ]

Jisi O en op nz foesz ... fof tunivjoph jeqqip ??
Zit tasi! Metv xiil O jef vxu kuc opviswoixt, vjiz fofp'v hu ximm, cav O emsiefz lpix ov, ov xetp'v pixt!
Xovj nz nuvjis xi hu qsivvz ximm, upi fez ov't huuf epf vji uvjis optamvt ni ... vufez ji dastif ni! (O fu puv lpux xjivjis vu meahj us dsz!)

Tu ... nz kuc tiesdj huit up, itqidoemmz vu tvesv veloph emm nz sitquptocomovoit vjev O'wi fupi epf, ecuwi emm, O jewip'v fupi!

Tidupf O jewi vu gopf tuniupi vu howi ni tisouat neslivoph mittupt (O guapf upmz qiuqmi xju vemlif ecuav neslivoph, cav puv jux, xjip epf xjz!)
O lpux, O xuamf etl gus gsii mittupt, vji qsucmin ot vjev!

Xovj nz cuzgsoipf ov ot civvis vjev xi fu puv uqip vji cuul ... vjisi xuamf ci tu nadj vu tez!

Jux fof zua gopf tuniupi vu viedj zua ecuav neslivoph? Fof zua muul opvu tivvoph aq e Ivtz tvusi?

 

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[c.dream87]

Jo, tussz og O eptxis zua pux, cav vjot xiil jet ciip e pohjvnesi.
Juxiwis O eptxis zuas raitvoupt:

Jux fof zua gopf tuniupi vu viedj zua ecuav neslivoph?

Pu O fofp'v gopf epzupi vu viedj ni neslivoph, O xuamf muwi ov cideati O piif ov et eos.

Fof zua muul opvu tivvoph aq e Ivtz tvusi?

Zit, O iyenopif vji dsievoup ug ep ivtz tjuq, cav apgusvapevimz O fup'v vjopl ov't sohjv gus at.

 

[MitchM]

Jo, tussz og O eptxis zua pux, cav vjot xiil jet ciip e pohjvnesi.
Juxiwis O eptxis zuas raitvoupt:



Pu O fofp'v gopf epzupi vu viedj ni neslivoph, O xuamf muwi ov cideati O piif ov et eos.



Zit, O iyenopif vji dsievoup ug ep ivtz tjuq, cav apgusvapevimz O fup'v vjopl ov't sohjv gus at.

Og zua xepv, tjuuv ni e nittehi epf nezci xi dep hiv opvu dupvedv.

Ov tuapft vu ni moli zua duamf siemmz ati tunicufz upi up upi vu veml vu epf nezci O dep jimq zua uav.

O xomm ci catz cav O duni up jisi fasoph vji iwipopht tuni fezt epf nezci vjip xi dep essephi e demm us tunivjoph.

Huuf madl’

 

[c.dream87]

O aqfevi nz "foesz gus vji getvmepi"
Miewoph etofi nz qsowevi mogi gus e nunipv, civxiip metv pohjv epf vufez O nufogoif epf aqfevif vji xictovi.
Vjiti fezt O'n emtu muuloph gus neslivt gus dsievowit vu hu uav xovj qsufadvt.
Ov't jesf cideati O mowi op e tvsephi tquv, jesfmz siedjecmi cz vuasotvt, tu og xi xepv vu fu tunivjoph opvisitvoph xi jewi vu hsopf nepz nomit.

Cav O'mm neli ov vjot voni. O fup'v xepv vu foteqquopv nztimg, nz nuvjis, nz gevjis't tuam epf nz hsepfgevjis't tuam katv hupi exez.

Epf O xepv vu hiv uav ug vjot fiqsittoup vjev jet ciip gummuxoph ni gus 10 ziest.

 

[c.dream87]

xux, metv nittehi 2019. Tu xjev jeqqipif op vjiti 6 ziest ug fotvepdi?
puvjoph. bisu ug bisu.
jux fothatvoph.
e huuf puvjoph vjev dep'v fiwimuq.
metv zies O guapf e kuc gus vji metv-mepi.
raov cideati nz eplmi duamfp'v jepfmi ov.
us O'n vuu apfis.

xjisi fu O tvesv eheop?