Brave

[Delmania]

What do think verbal strength is?

I'd guess the ability to defuse a situation with words and not fists.

 

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[HiMyNameIsTom]

I'm 6'1, 185 lbs and I have a background in Karate, Boxing, Kickboxing and BJJ. So I don't physical strenght. I need verbal strenght.

Yeah dude, I remember people said "learn to fight" for a long time, but even when I had a blue belt in BJJ and knew logically I could handle myself in a fight (even if not to destroy other people, just be competent enough to not get destroyed...), but I still had fear/anxiety.

A buncha the stuff in my recent post should help, but in general you need to learn to be not passive, not aggressive, but assertive. I found the Aziz Gazipura stuff helpful, but there are other resources too.

 

[James Bond]

I'd take the VIA Signature Strengths test:
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/

Under questionnaires there is a "VIA Survey of Character Strengths" to find out where "Bravery" falls on your strengths.

Then, go here:
http://www.viacharacter.org/resources/ways-to-use-via-character-strengths/

They talk about some movies you can watch to connect with some that side of yourself, and some actions you can take.

Also, already mentioned here, is to read biographies of great people. To me, Ted Turner was kind of badass and his autobiography was a great audiobook, and thinking of him can help me draw on some courage. Other's as well, if you read the Bezos book, you can imagine how ballsy he must have been to make some of the decisions he made. I originally heard the idea "Read biographies of great people to draw courage" from Tai Lopez, and initially thought it was dumb until I tried it and realized that by seeing great people's stories over and over again, you at least get more of a mental roadmap of how you can then take the right actions in life.

"""
I. Bravery [valor]: Bravery is the capacity to take action to aid others in spite of significant risks or dangers. This strength allows people to avoid shrinking from the threats, challenges, or pain associated with attempting to do good works. Brave acts are undertaken voluntarily with full knowledge of the potential adversity involved. Brave individuals place the highest importance on higher purpose and morality, no matter what the consequences might be.

Too much: foolhardiness, risk taking, foolishness
Too little: debilitating fear

MOVIES:

1. Milk (2008) – A biographical film based on the life of gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk. Movie depicts Milks’ courage to the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California.
2. The Kite Runner (2007) – is a moving tale of courage of two friends Amir and Hassan whose friendship flourishes in pre-Soviet invasion Kabul in mid to late 1970s. Where Hassan displays the courage and loyalty of being faithful to Amir, Amir, ultimately overcomes his inner cowardice to rescue Hassan’s son from war ravaged and Taliban ruled Afghanistan, to make things right, again.
3. Schindler’s List (1993) – Oskar Schindler is a German businessman who sees the opportunity of cheap labor in the plight of persecuted Jews. Over the course of the movie, however, his perspective changes and he begins to use his factory as a cover for hiding refugees. His actions cost him his fortune but save over a thousand lives.
4. Life as a House (2001) – An architect diagnosed with terminal cancer finally faces the most difficult parts of his life: his relationships with his estranged son and ex-wife. As he rebuilds the house that contained his most painful memories, he braves the pain and uncertainty of his past in order to build a foundation for his future, no matter how short it may be.

SUGGESTED ACTIONS:

1. Resist social or peer pressure, instead choosing to act on noble values and causes in meaningful ways. For example, you can write, speak out, participate in a protest, or join an activist organization.
2. Speak up for or write about an unpopular idea in a group. Be respectful of other opinions without backing down from yours.
3. Take small, practical steps for a constructive social change. Local volunteer organizations are an excellent resource for ways to get involved.
4. Report an injustice, abuse, blatant unethical practice, or abuse of power or resources to appropriate authorities, even if the perpetrator is someone close to you. Remember the people that you are helping by preventing further injustice.
5. Protect or stand up for someone who will not otherwise stand up for him- or herself, such as a younger sibling or a battered woman. Make them feel like they can depend on you in the future.
6. Ask difficult questions that help you and others face reality. Be gentle and kind, but don’t keep questions inside merely because they are hard to express or answer.
7. Clarify your values by thinking about how best they have served you in challenging situations. Also consider ways in which your values have hindered you, and ways to change this in the future.
8. Cultivate a reputation for recognizing and appreciating brave acts that are accomplished despite challenges. Express your appreciation for other people who exhibit bravery.
9. Identify an area in which you generally shy away from confrontations. Practice the phrases, the tones, and the mannerisms that will enable you to effectively confront the situation next time.
10. Collect contemporary stories of bravery in everyday life situations. Save newspaper or magazine clippings about courageous acts.
11. Don’t be afraid to be different while still being positive. Act in ways that make you feel true to your beliefs and personality.
12. Don’t be afraid to befriend someone who is different. Think of ways that their strengths as a friend can compliment your own.

"""

My VIA Survey of Character Strengths

The ranking of the strengths reflects your overall ratings of yourself on the 24 strengths in the survey, how much of each strength you possess. Your top five are the ones to pay attention to and find ways to use more often.
Your Top Strength
Love of learning -
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.
Your Second Strength
Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith -
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.
Strength #3
Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness -
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.
Strength #4
Curiosity and interest in the world -
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.
Strength #5
Creativity, ingenuity, and originality -
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.
Strength #6
Caution, prudence, and discretion -
You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.
Strength #7
Perspective wisdom -
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.
Strength #8
Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness -
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.
Strength #9
Zest, enthusiasm, and energy -
Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.
Strength #10
Fairness, equity, and justice -
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.
Strength #11
Appreciation of beauty and excellence -
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.
Strength #12
Kindness and generosity -
You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.
Strength #13
Gratitude -
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.
Strength #14
Humor and playfulness -
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.
Strength #15
Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness -
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.
Strength #16
Capacity to love and be loved -
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.
Strength #17
Leadership -
You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.
Strength #18
Self-control and self-regulation -
You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.
Strength #19
Forgiveness and mercy -
You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.
Strength #20
Modesty and humility -
You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.
Strength #21
Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty -
You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.
Strength #22
Bravery and valor -
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.
Strength #23
Industry, diligence, and perseverance -
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.
Strength #24
Social intelligence -
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

 

[James Bond]

When someone insults or threatens you, how do you respond?

That's the problem that I have. If normal people gets insulted they insult back. But I do nothing and than I get so angry that they fear that I'm going to beat them up. So I don't have a middle ground. Or I use too little agression or too much agression.

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

I want to become:

• Verbally strong.
• Socially strong.

I want to have:

• Business knowledge.
• Courage to face my fears.
• Willpower.

Those are good areas to seek self-improvement in, and I have confidence that you will see improvement in them.

Here are some tips that may help.

-Ten minutes of experience is worth more than one hour of studying theory. Knowledge is only as good as it is applied. You will learn more, and faster by doing that then by mentally masturbating with more and more reading. Plus, by doing this, you will build courage by facing fears of social anxiety. Two birds with one stone! Knowledge should give you ideas to test out and gain experience with.

-To increase your speaking abilities, practice projecting your voice. Pick a spot five feet in front of you and project your voice as you talk to 'hit' that spot. You can also have a friend stand in this spot to see if you are being loud enough. Then, pick a spot or have your friend move back to 10 feet, 20 feet, up to half a foot ball field to a football field away. As you increase the distance, increase the strength of your voice to reach the spot you are targeting. Don't project from your throat, but from your belly (the diaphragm). If you are to shout, expel the air from your gut, not from your throat. Speaking from the diaphragm also tends to make people talk in a lower toned voice, which I am sure is a characteristic you may unconsciously want as well. Our internal voice volume may sound loud/normal to us, but our external voice volume is much lower than we think.

-SLOW. THE F*ck. DOWN. WHEN. YOU. TALK. Speak clearly and with purpose. You are speaking to transmit information to another person. If you fail to give them the information you are trying to pass, you fail in communicating. Most people are afraid of pauses and silence in conversation and use place holding words like 'umm.' There is nothing wrong with silence, so long as you are in control of your actions. If you have to pause for several seconds to figure out what you want to say, that is 100% fine, and shows confidence because you are acting with purpose and are not afraid of what others think. If you freeze up and have no clue what to say, own it. Say you just had a brain freeze, smile, laugh it off, and try again. (SUMMARY: Speak slowly enough to be understood, speak louder than you normally do-project your voice to the appropriate distance, project your voice from your diaphragm.)

-Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. Confidence comes from receiving validation from within yourself, not from the validation of others outside of yourself.

-People follow those who have their best interests in mind. This can be either out of love or fear. I prefer to have people love me than fear me. People like people who make them feel good. The best book I have read in interacting with people is How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. There are several other paths we can go down as far as human interactions go, but you will learn so much by reading that book, that it will give you plenty to experiment with.

-Business knowledge comes from trial and error. Fools learn from their own mistakes; wise men learn from the mistakes of fools. This should push you in the right directions.

-Willpower is like a muscle. Start small to exercise it and build up. Not everyone has the willpower to climb Mount Everest if they were to start RIGHT NOW. Start by deciding to walk to the kitchen. Then walk down the block. Then walk several miles. Now walk up a few hills on those miles, etc. Will is a reflection to adherence to internal principles that trump external stimulus. We use will to take one more step forward when our body aches because we hold the view that we are mentally stronger than we are physically. We use will to get out of bed regularly at 6am because we hold the view that early risers get more done than those that sleep in (just an example, may not be true. Experiment and find out). I think you get the idea.

Most importantly, seek self-improvement so that you are better able to provide value and help to others. Seeking self-improvement for vanity will be shallow and people will see right through it. Take the stereotypical 'douche-bag' type male for example. When you do things to get validation from others, you lose the very thing you are seeking to get in the first place, which is self-confidence and respect. When you try to do things to get others to like you, it tends to repulse people. They smell the neediness. BUT, if you focus on deriving validation from yourself, you are able to be different from the crowd because you do not seek validation from the crowd. You then blaze your own trail. People will wonder whats up, and you may find others coming to you to see just what you are about.

There are no simple fixes. Trial and error are your best friend. Failure is a success if you learn from it and use the lessons to push on. Dwelling on failure is the only way for a failure to remain so.

I highly recommend the following books to help you out in the areas you want: How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, What Every Body Is Saying by Joe Navarro, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Psyco-Cybernetics by Mawell Maltz, The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco.

What you will find is that every book boils down to the following: Stop looking for an outside solution to fix your problems. Change must start internally. By focusing inwards instead of outwards, we will notice that our actions will be different, which produces new changes in our environment and thus shaping a new reality. We cannot wait for Reality to change for us to change. The exact opposite is true. We must change ourselves to change reality. This is the great secret everyone tries time and time again to tell the masses. Focusing on outside things to change our reality is a consumer mindset. Focusing on changing ourselves to act differently and change our environment and reality is a producer mindset, an entrepreneur mindset.

I hope this helps you, or anyone else out. It is a brain dump, so the information might not be the most coherent or well formatted. I just wanted to get it out of my mind and into yours.

With Love,

A.S.

 

[jon.a]

Those are good areas to seek self-improvement in, and I have confidence that you will see improvement in them.

Here are some tips that may help.

-Ten minutes of experience is worth more than one hour of studying theory. Knowledge is only as good as it is applied. You will learn more, and faster by doing that then by mentally masturbating with more and more reading. Plus, by doing this, you will build courage by facing fears of social anxiety. Two birds with one stone! Knowledge should give you ideas to test out and gain experience with.

-To increase your speaking abilities, practice projecting your voice. Pick a spot five feet in front of you and project your voice as you talk to 'hit' that spot. You can also have a friend stand in this spot to see if you are being loud enough. Then, pick a spot or have your friend move back to 10 feet, 20 feet, up to half a foot ball field to a football field away. As you increase the distance, increase the strength of your voice to reach the spot you are targeting. Don't project from your throat, but from your belly (the diaphragm). If you are to shout, expel the air from your gut, not from your throat. Speaking from the diaphragm also tends to make people talk in a lower toned voice, which I am sure is a characteristic you may unconsciously want as well. Our internal voice volume may sound loud/normal to us, but our external voice volume is much lower than we think.

-SLOW. THE F*ck. DOWN. WHEN. YOU. TALK. Speak clearly and with purpose. You are speaking to transmit information to another person. If you fail to give them the information you are trying to pass, you fail in communicating. Most people are afraid of pauses and silence in conversation and use place holding words like 'umm.' There is nothing wrong with silence, so long as you are in control of your actions. If you have to pause for several seconds to figure out what you want to say, that is 100% fine, and shows confidence because you are acting with purpose and are not afraid of what others think. If you freeze up and have no clue what to say, own it. Say you just had a brain freeze, smile, laugh it off, and try again. (SUMMARY: Speak slowly enough to be understood, speak louder than you normally do-project your voice to the appropriate distance, project your voice from your diaphragm.)

-Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. Confidence comes from receiving validation from within yourself, not from the validation of others outside of yourself.

-People follow those who have their best interests in mind. This can be either out of love or fear. I prefer to have people love me than fear me. People like people who make them feel good. The best book I have read in interacting with people is How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. There are several other paths we can go down as far as human interactions go, but you will learn so much by reading that book, that it will give you plenty to experiment with.

-Business knowledge comes from trial and error. Fools learn from their own mistakes; wise men learn from the mistakes of fools. This should push you in the right directions.

-Willpower is like a muscle. Start small to exercise it and build up. Not everyone has the willpower to climb Mount Everest if they were to start RIGHT NOW. Start by deciding to walk to the kitchen. Then walk down the block. Then walk several miles. Now walk up a few hills on those miles, etc. Will is a reflection to adherence to internal principles that trump external stimulus. We use will to take one more step forward when our body aches because we hold the view that we are mentally stronger than we are physically. We use will to get out of bed regularly at 6am because we hold the view that early risers get more done than those that sleep in (just an example, may not be true. Experiment and find out). I think you get the idea.

Most importantly, seek self-improvement so that you are better able to provide value and help to others. Seeking self-improvement for vanity will be shallow and people will see right through it. Take the stereotypical 'douche-bag' type male for example. When you do things to get validation from others, you lose the very thing you are seeking to get in the first place, which is self-confidence and respect. When you try to do things to get others to like you, it tends to repulse people. They smell the neediness. BUT, if you focus on deriving validation from yourself, you are able to be different from the crowd because you do not seek validation from the crowd. You then blaze your own trail. People will wonder whats up, and you may find others coming to you to see just what you are about.

There are no simple fixes. Trial and error are your best friend. Failure is a success if you learn from it and use the lessons to push on. Dwelling on failure is the only way for a failure to remain so.

I highly recommend the following books to help you out in the areas you want: How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, What Every Body Is Saying by Joe Navarro, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Psyco-Cybernetics by Mawell Maltz, The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco.

What you will find is that every book boils down to the following: Stop looking for an outside solution to fix your problems. Change must start internally. By focusing inwards instead of outwards, we will notice that our actions will be different, which produces new changes in our environment and thus shaping a new reality. We cannot wait for Reality to change for us to change. The exact opposite is true. We must change ourselves to change reality. This is the great secret everyone tries time and time again to tell the masses. Focusing on outside things to change our reality is a consumer mindset. Focusing on changing ourselves to act differently and change our environment and reality is a producer mindset, and entrepreneur mindset.

I hope this helps you, or anyone else out. It is a brain dump, so the information might not be the most coherent or well formatted. I just wanted to get it out of my mind and into yours.

With Love,

A.S.

Damn that was good

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

I want to become:

• Verbally strong.
• Socially strong.

I want to have:

• Business knowledge.
• Courage to face my fears.
• Willpower.

You want to be strong in these areas? You know how you get strong? By lifting weights.
The weights you need to lift are going out and being social. Going to toastmasters will help you with speech.

You can't read a friggin' book to get better at these things.

 

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[AmericanSpartan]

That's the problem that I have. If normal people gets insulted they insult back. But I do nothing and than I get so angry that they fear that I'm going to beat them up. So I don't have a middle ground. Or I use too little agression or too much agression.

People insult back because their Ego is attacked, their identity, which is based on the perceptions they receive in validation from others than themselves. When you attack or strike back, either verbally or physically, you are telling them that they are a threat to you. If they are a threat, then you are giving them power over yourself.

The only power others have over us is the power we give them by our perception of the situation. Read the philosopher Epictetus' essay called 'On Freedom' for a way better understanding of power and perception. Hell, do yourself a favor and read his entire Discourses and Selected Writings (I prefer the Penguin Classics edition to the one provided, but the link is free vs buying a book).

It is natural to feel emotions. It is natural to feel anger or pain from a verbal assault. This is where mindfulness and self-awareness is crucial in developing internal strength. When this happens, we need to detach ourselves from the situation. Japanese samurai had the ability to detach themselves from the situations they found themselves in. When angered or in pain, they would say 'someone is in anger,' 'someone is in pain.' This gives us clarity of mind to see if the threats we are facing are valid, or if they are figments of our imagination. In NLP they call this technique 'framing' the situation. They create new viewpoints to see the situation in new ways.

How people respond to other people, or outside stimulus in general, is more a reflection of their internal 'reality tunnel,' or how they view the world and their place in it. If someone is nasty to you, it is not necessarily against you personally.

Instead of trying to win through battle, try to win without fighting at all. To make an enemy a friend is a better victory. We create more value to the other person and the world at large, than we would by the destruction of an enemy. Don't be defensive. Shower them with brotherly love and kind feeling. Treat them like they are already your best friend.

They say lions don't care for the opinions of sheep. A better way of phrasing is that the developed person only seeks validation from within in adherence to their esteemed values and principles, and lets the opinions of others fly over them, for the developed individual realizes that only they are responsible for the life they live.

A man chooses, a slave obeys. A free individual chooses how they respond to ANYTHING they interact with. They do not REACT automatically to the situations they encounter (unless they have chosen to create that instinctive response aka muscle memory).

 

[HiMyNameIsTom]

So I believe Martin Seligman says you want to use your top 5 signature strengths as much as you can in your work. The positive psychology people say "don't worry about your weaknesses unless they hold you back in a major way."

For me, when I did it 2 weeks ago, my top 5 included
- love of learning
- curiosity
- judgement, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
- honesty
(I forgot the 5th)

Interestingly enough, I saw that bottom of the list was "perseverance" -- and I thought "Uhh...yeah, not sticking to things is TERRIBLE for business." Seeing that helped me realize that I avoid decision making, and I read up on "The Power of Decision" in Tony Robbins ATGW (ch.2) and the book "Decisive" by Chip and Dan Health, and those together helped me realize a huge blindspot, e.g. how much I've tended to avoid making big decisions (hence why I was always lured to new and random but "well paying" jobs but never carving my own path, until the past year of my life).

So, how I attacked that weakness (which I saw as really hindering me) was by focusing on the fact that "I'm learning to make decisions" and I'm slowly becoming more decisive.

It sounds like your #22 and #24 echo the whole point of this thread. How do you feel about your strengths vs your weaknesses? Do you you have enough info in this thread to come up with a strategy on how to move forward?

My VIA Survey of Character Strengths

The ranking of the strengths reflects your overall ratings of yourself on the 24 strengths in the survey, how much of each strength you possess. Your top five are the ones to pay attention to and find ways to use more often.
Your Top Strength
Love of learning -
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.
Your Second Strength
Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith -
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.
Strength #3
Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness -
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.
Strength #4
Curiosity and interest in the world -
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.
Strength #5
Creativity, ingenuity, and originality -
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.
Strength #6
Caution, prudence, and discretion -
You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.
Strength #7
Perspective wisdom -
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.
Strength #8
Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness -
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.
Strength #9
Zest, enthusiasm, and energy -
Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.
Strength #10
Fairness, equity, and justice -
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.
Strength #11
Appreciation of beauty and excellence -
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.
Strength #12
Kindness and generosity -
You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.
Strength #13
Gratitude -
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.
Strength #14
Humor and playfulness -
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.
Strength #15
Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness -
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.
Strength #16
Capacity to love and be loved -
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.
Strength #17
Leadership -
You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.
Strength #18
Self-control and self-regulation -
You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.
Strength #19
Forgiveness and mercy -
You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.
Strength #20
Modesty and humility -
You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.
Strength #21
Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty -
You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.
Strength #22
Bravery and valor -
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.
Strength #23
Industry, diligence, and perseverance -
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.
Strength #24
Social intelligence -
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

 

[AmericanSpartan]

You want to be strong in these areas? You know how you get strong? By lifting weights.
The weights you need to lift are going out and being social. Going to toastmasters will help you with speech.

You can't read a friggin' book to get better at these things.

Like I said earlier, reading should provide the stimulus to go out and ACT. Reading creates inspiration, motivation, and gives us tools for the toolbox. If we don't do anything with what we have read, we might as well had not read at all (unless it was for entertainment purposes).

 

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[HiMyNameIsTom]

Like I said earlier, reading should provide the stimulus to go out and ACT. Reading creates inspiration, motivation, and gives us tools for the toolbox. If we don't do anything with what we have read, we might as well had not read at all (unless it was for entertainment purposes).

Yup. The way I see it is kinda how Tai Lopez explains it, with is idea of K-S-E -- Knowledge, Strategy, Execution. Reading can give you some "theory" (e.g. knowledge), and then some "strategy (e.g. what you need to do, which is informed by the K-nowledge), and finally you must do the E, Execute (e.g. go out and do it).

Not having knowledge/strategy means you're trying to take action to solve a problem you obviously don't know how to solve yet (since you haven't).

 

[AmericanSpartan]

So I believe Martin Seligman says you want to use your top 5 signature strengths as much as you can in your work. The positive psychology people say "don't worry about your weaknesses unless they hold you back in a major way."

A nice quote I read a while back is 'Utilize and employ your strengths, staff your weaknesses.'

Take what you are good at and use them. Find others who have strength where you have weakness, and work together. It saves a hell of a lot of time vs trying to become a jack of all trades.

 

[AmericanSpartan]

Damn that was good

Thank you very much. I highly appreciate it coming from an established forum member. I just hope it helps brighten some light bulbs and gets people acting.

 

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[Mike Kavanagh]

Like I said earlier, reading should provide the stimulus to go out and ACT. Reading creates inspiration, motivation, and gives us tools for the toolbox. If we don't do anything with what we have read, we might as well had not read at all (unless it was for entertainment purposes).

Forget the books. Forget everything.

You can't be unless you are.
Books are like money, they are just a tool.
Reading X book won't get you laid.
Reading book 3 won't make you lift more weight.

It can tell you what worked for guy X. It can tell you proper form for lift 3.

Doing is the only way to know.

 

[Betuterien]

I think you might enjoy reading the 48 Law of Power by Robert Greene, if you haven't already.

But really though, it all boils down to one thing: RESPONSIBILITY.

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

Stopped to shoot basketball this morning on the way home.
Never been good at the game.
Ever.

I watched a YouTube video on how to shoot better. I never made that many shoots in a day before.
I made more today than my last 3 games in the 50 minutes I shot around
I'm not saying I'm Kobe level, nor do I have the ability to grow any taller.

I simply applied what I learned in the video and made more shots.

I could of spent my time making theories and reading books... I would of never made those shots cause I didn't take them.

 

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[Newpollz]

I want to become:

• Verbally strong.
• Socially strong.

I want to have:

• Business knowledge.
• Courage to face my fears.
• Willpower.

An unrealistic perception of life is the basis of your fear.



You are not willing to live, you are not willing to die. That is your whole quandary right now.



The fear is simply because you are not living with life. You are living in your mind.





Your fear is always about what's going to happen next. That means, your fear is always about that which does not exist. 100% imaginary.




It is your perception of yourself, as you see yourself. You think other people give a F*ck about you.



They don't, they have their own life and feel exactly the same way that you do from time to time.

They care and fear about what YOU think about them.



You want to to know something? You already have it, you are already brave for asking and admitting you have fears on a business forum filled with millionaires and geniuses.



Find your purpose through skills that you acquire. Learn all professions as best you can.



But don't become hard with yourself. Learn to respect and like yourself. Treat yourself like a finely-tuned watch. Polish it, wear it proudly. Wear yourself proudly.

Learn to really relax. Be cool. Chill out. It's really an art (that must be trained) to be able to relax especially in these technological times.



There is no race, only the rat race and I hope you don't enjoy being in that shit.


Your life is only TIME TRIAL MODE.



You are only clocking yourself, and we are all doing time trials separately against ourselves (our own ghosts) too. We all have our tribulations, demons, fears and doubts. Challenges and fails.

Lead us bro, I am speaking to the Neo inside of you, if he exists. The truth is I have no way of knowing if you are the next Carnegie or just a cocksucker behind a keyboard.

Show us your real spirit. Imagine if everyone shows their real spirit the world we could build.


Businesses are THEIR OWN ENTITIES FOR A REASON.


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People forget. Tell me.


When was the last time you made an a$$ of yourself?


What about the time before that?I bet you don't even remember.


And neither do we.




Move on, you have a life to live. Right now. This moment is happening right now. Breathe



You are alive.

 

[Newpollz]

 

[Leo Hendrix]

Bravery is taking action daily to realize your fastlane dreams.

 

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