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James Bond

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It is very important for a man to be brave. Women love though guys. Courage is appreciated around the world.

What are good books or other ways to get braver?
 

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AmericanSpartan

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Courage or bravery is having fear but continuing with an action regardless. It's that simple. It shows confidence in yourself and your abilities. You may not necessarily be slaying dragons, but start small. Wear the shirt that you like and makes you happy, regardless of what people think. Dance and sing in public if that is your fancy. Approach the cute girl you see at the coffee shop and say hello. Cry when you feel emotion. Laugh when you are happy. Start a business that provides value, even if you are afraid it will fail. Don't think of what others think about your actions. Do them because it's what you want to do.

Just make sure that our actions not just benefit ourselves, but others as well. That is how the bravery of heroes' becomes legend. They acted when everyone was scared, including themselves, for the betterment of others.

If you want examples of bravery, read American Medal of Honor citations that detail the exploits of men in dangerous situations that put others before themselves.

Read the stories of men and women who helped people of the Jewish faith escape Nazi Germany.

Read tales of the underdogs overcoming adversity to accomplish their vision and dreams.

There are examples all around you. You just have to know what to look for.
 
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SteveO

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Early in my life, I wanted to stand up for myself and for others. I have been in over 100 fights. More than thirty were with people other than my neighborhood as a youth. I was removed from high school for fighting and fought numerous times in the Marine Corps. I jumped into a fight at a restaurant to defend someone that was being picked on. I had my young children with me.

The only respect that I got for all that was from someone that I did not give a shit about.
 

AmericanSpartan

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Early in my life, I wanted to stand up for myself and for others. I have been in over 100 fights. More than thirty were with people other than my neighborhood as a youth. I was removed from high school for fighting and fought numerous times in the Marine Corps. I jumped into a fight at a restaurant to defend someone that was being picked on. I had my young children with me.

The only respect that I got for all that was from someone that I did not give a shit about.

@SteveO , Semper Fi, brother.

While it is impossible for me to understand the situations you found yourself in where you resolved to fighting to defend yourself and others, for I am not you and was not there, I want to mention that fighting does not always correlate to bravery or courage, as your story illustrates. Sun Tzu mentions briefly that to win without fighting is best. I agree that fighting will not always bring about respect, even to a victor.

Back to the @James Bond 's initial post, I think he may have extrapolated on what bravery brings. He perhaps views it as more 'event' based than 'process' based, and sees it as an opportunity to bring about his desires for personal growth.

Courage is a highly useful trait in leadership, and all walks of life, but it is not the panacea to having the world respect you or women flock to you.

Courage is a tool, much like integrity, or dependability that we can use as individuals to bring about a change in ourselves that will alter how we interact with the world, and ultimately alter our environment and our reality to some degree. Courage combined with other traits or actions can amplify the effects we are going after, but just using it alone will not go as far.

To @James Bond , what does bravery look like in your eyes? Based upon your name, your profile picture, and question at hand, you possibly hold a stereotypical view of what masculinity is in this modern world and how it is achieved. I wonder how much of what you think a man is, is based upon a definition set by Hollywood or corporations, in order to alter your buying habits, or cultural influence to mold you to a group identity.

I'm interested in what exactly prompted you to ask this question, and I am looking forward to hearing your response.
 
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James Bond

James Bond

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Mar 10, 2016
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Early in my life, I wanted to stand up for myself and for others. I have been in over 100 fights. More than thirty were with people other than my neighborhood as a youth. I was removed from high school for fighting and fought numerous times in the Marine Corps. I jumped into a fight at a restaurant to defend someone that was being picked on. I had my young children with me.

The only respect that I got for all that was from someone that I did not give a shit about.
With brave I mean brave to defend yourself and others. But no offense, If you have been in more than 100 fights people will see you as an agressor. People don't like aggressive people, but they like brave people. Its like people like confident people, but don't like arrogant people.
 
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James Bond

James Bond

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Mar 10, 2016
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@SteveO , Semper Fi, brother.

While it is impossible for me to understand the situations you found yourself in where you resolved to fighting to defend yourself and others, for I am not you and was not there, I want to mention that fighting does not always correlate to bravery or courage, as your story illustrates. Sun Tzu mentions briefly that to win without fighting is best. I agree that fighting will not always bring about respect, even to a victor.

Back to the @James Bond 's initial post, I think he may have extrapolated on what bravery brings. He perhaps views it as more 'event' based than 'process' based, and sees it as an opportunity to bring about his desires for personal growth.

Courage is a highly useful trait in leadership, and all walks of life, but it is not the panacea to having the world respect you or women flock to you.

Courage is a tool, much like integrity, or dependability that we can use as individuals to bring about a change in ourselves that will alter how we interact with the world, and ultimately alter our environment and our reality to some degree. Courage combined with other traits or actions can amplify the effects we are going after, but just using it alone will not go as far.

To @James Bond , what does bravery look like in your eyes? Based upon your name, your profile picture, and question at hand, you possibly hold a stereotypical view of what masculinity is in this modern world and how it is achieved. I wonder how much of what you think a man is, is based upon a definition set by Hollywood or corporations, in order to alter your buying habits, or cultural influence to mold you to a group identity.

I'm interested in what exactly prompted you to ask this question, and I am looking forward to hearing your response.
With bravery I mean self defense, defense of others and facing your fears. I think men should be brave, because people use to life in primitive tribes. For men it was important to hunt and to protect the tribe. That's why women for 50% love though, strong and powerful men. And why they for the other 50% love beatiful men, because beauty is a sign of health. And women want healthy childeren. Men choose women for almost 100% for beauty. Because men want healthy childeren and don't need women for protection.

Survival and propagate is very important for people.

That's why men love sport ( fake wars ), action movies, fighting, beautiful women, etc

And that's why women love make up, fashion, powerful hansome men, etc.
 
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AmericanSpartan

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Brother,

It goes way deeper than all of that.

What is your goal with all of this?
 

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Step 1. pay a bum $5 to kick you in the nuts

Step 2. stop looking for hypothetical self improvement, and get yourself some REAL self improvement. Get yourself the first three chapters FREE of a life changing book at http://www.themillionairefastlane.com

(note : Step 1 is optional. Step 2 is NOT optional.)
 

AmericanSpartan

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To become the best version of myself.
What are your goals for improvement then. What is it you want to be that you are currently not?
 

SteveO

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With brave I mean brave to defend yourself and others. But no offense, If you have been in more than 100 fights people will see you as an agressor. People don't like aggressive people, but they like brave people. Its like people like confident people, but don't like arrogant people.
It could easily sound that way. Most people don't know me as aggressive. In fact, most would define me as passive or "too nice".

Regardless, there may be plenty of people that look up to brave people. I'm not sure though because it is not an attribute that is at the top of my list.
 
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SteveO

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Your question was how to get information on how to be braver. Most of us responded with "why would you want that" which was not what you wanted. I don't really know where to obtain the information you are looking for. Perhaps you could look towards those that are frequently seen as heros and such. Special forces in the military, police officers, firefighters, etc. Not sure if this will help you on a fastlane journey, but perhaps it will help for your goals.
 

Delmania

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It is very important for a man to be brave. Women love though guys. Courage is appreciated around the world.

What are good books or other ways to get braver?
Generalizing 2/3 of the population isn't a good idea, but in general, heterosexual women tend to find confident men who are good with babies and dogs as attractive. At least, the type of woman who's interested in a fulfilling, long term, stable relationship.

Reading a book won't help you be brave. The only way to be brave is to act even though you're scared. If you want to confident, well, that's another story. I personally recommend getting physically fit and taking martial arts as a way to start.
 

HiMyNameIsTom

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I'd take the VIA Signature Strengths test:
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/

Under questionnaires there is a "VIA Survey of Character Strengths" to find out where "Bravery" falls on your strengths.

Then, go here:
http://www.viacharacter.org/resources/ways-to-use-via-character-strengths/

They talk about some movies you can watch to connect with some that side of yourself, and some actions you can take.

Also, already mentioned here, is to read biographies of great people. To me, Ted Turner was kind of badass and his autobiography was a great audiobook, and thinking of him can help me draw on some courage. Other's as well, if you read the Bezos book, you can imagine how ballsy he must have been to make some of the decisions he made. I originally heard the idea "Read biographies of great people to draw courage" from Tai Lopez, and initially thought it was dumb until I tried it and realized that by seeing great people's stories over and over again, you at least get more of a mental roadmap of how you can then take the right actions in life.

"""
I. Bravery [valor]: Bravery is the capacity to take action to aid others in spite of significant risks or dangers. This strength allows people to avoid shrinking from the threats, challenges, or pain associated with attempting to do good works. Brave acts are undertaken voluntarily with full knowledge of the potential adversity involved. Brave individuals place the highest importance on higher purpose and morality, no matter what the consequences might be.

Too much: foolhardiness, risk taking, foolishness
Too little: debilitating fear

MOVIES:
  1. Milk (2008) – A biographical film based on the life of gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk. Movie depicts Milks’ courage to the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California.
  2. The Kite Runner (2007) – is a moving tale of courage of two friends Amir and Hassan whose friendship flourishes in pre-Soviet invasion Kabul in mid to late 1970s. Where Hassan displays the courage and loyalty of being faithful to Amir, Amir, ultimately overcomes his inner cowardice to rescue Hassan’s son from war ravaged and Taliban ruled Afghanistan, to make things right, again.
  3. Schindler’s List (1993) – Oskar Schindler is a German businessman who sees the opportunity of cheap labor in the plight of persecuted Jews. Over the course of the movie, however, his perspective changes and he begins to use his factory as a cover for hiding refugees. His actions cost him his fortune but save over a thousand lives.
  4. Life as a House (2001) – An architect diagnosed with terminal cancer finally faces the most difficult parts of his life: his relationships with his estranged son and ex-wife. As he rebuilds the house that contained his most painful memories, he braves the pain and uncertainty of his past in order to build a foundation for his future, no matter how short it may be.
SUGGESTED ACTIONS:
  1. Resist social or peer pressure, instead choosing to act on noble values and causes in meaningful ways. For example, you can write, speak out, participate in a protest, or join an activist organization.
  2. Speak up for or write about an unpopular idea in a group. Be respectful of other opinions without backing down from yours.
  3. Take small, practical steps for a constructive social change. Local volunteer organizations are an excellent resource for ways to get involved.
  4. Report an injustice, abuse, blatant unethical practice, or abuse of power or resources to appropriate authorities, even if the perpetrator is someone close to you. Remember the people that you are helping by preventing further injustice.
  5. Protect or stand up for someone who will not otherwise stand up for him- or herself, such as a younger sibling or a battered woman. Make them feel like they can depend on you in the future.
  6. Ask difficult questions that help you and others face reality. Be gentle and kind, but don’t keep questions inside merely because they are hard to express or answer.
  7. Clarify your values by thinking about how best they have served you in challenging situations. Also consider ways in which your values have hindered you, and ways to change this in the future.
  8. Cultivate a reputation for recognizing and appreciating brave acts that are accomplished despite challenges. Express your appreciation for other people who exhibit bravery.
  9. Identify an area in which you generally shy away from confrontations. Practice the phrases, the tones, and the mannerisms that will enable you to effectively confront the situation next time.
  10. Collect contemporary stories of bravery in everyday life situations. Save newspaper or magazine clippings about courageous acts.
  11. Don’t be afraid to be different while still being positive. Act in ways that make you feel true to your beliefs and personality.
  12. Don’t be afraid to befriend someone who is different. Think of ways that their strengths as a friend can compliment your own.
"""
 

W4RHRSE

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Resilient people are brave. They have to be.
I see resilience as durability and toughness. But, again... That is me.

You are either phony tough, or crazy brave. Short of getting punched in the face to see which one you are, I suggest telling someone you know who will not support you. See if they deter you. If even one doubt slinks its way into your head, you lack resiliency, regardless of your resiliency if you get up and keep moving twords your goals; you are brave.

I recommend the book Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino.
 

Delmania

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I see resilience as durability and toughness. But, again... That is me.

You are either phony tough, or crazy brave. Short of getting punched in the face to see which one you are, I suggest telling someone you know who will not support you. See if they deter you. If even one doubt slinks its way into your head, you lack resiliency, regardless of your resiliency if you get up and keep moving twords your goals; you are brave.

I recommend the book Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino.
The literal definition of resiliency is the ability to hold yourself together despite your situation. Getting punched in the face is phony tough, crazy brave is being able to stand up to someone without having to resort to violence. Short of that, it's using enough force to stop the person and no more.
 

W4RHRSE

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I apologize. I have been a biker too long lol

Look, you are already brave. You have the guts the be here and believe in yourself. Even if just in your own mind, you are brave.

It doesn't take chutzpah or gravitas to make your business work. Just, believe in yourself. You can do it!
 

Delmania

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I apologize. I have been a biker too long lol

Look, you are already brave. You have the guts the be here and believe in yourself. Even if just in your own mind, you are brave.

It doesn't take chutzpah or gravitas to make your business work. Just, believe in yourself. You can do it!
Even if you don't believe in yourself, do it any ways. What's the worst that could happen? Death? In that case, you won't care anymore.
 
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James Bond

James Bond

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What are your goals for improvement then. What is it you want to be that you are currently not?
I want to become:
  • Verbally strong.
  • Socially strong.
I want to have:
  • Business knowledge.
  • Courage to face my fears.
  • Willpower.
 
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James Bond

James Bond

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I personally recommend getting physically fit and taking martial arts as a way to start.
I'm 6'1, 185 lbs and I have a background in Karate, Boxing, Kickboxing and BJJ. So I don't physical strenght. I need verbal strenght.
 

HiMyNameIsTom

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I want to become:
  • Verbally strong.
  • Socially strong.
I want to have:
  • Business knowledge.
  • Courage to face my fears.
  • Willpower.
I dunno if its cool to post links to info products here, if not, apologies and understand if mods feel free to moderate or cut this comment. However, I have found Aziz's material useful. Here is a info product he sells:
http://www.confidenceunleashednow.com

His main site is http://socialconfidencecenter.com/ and it looks less internet market-y though obviously that doesn't mean that much.

I recommend checking out his videos and marketing emails at least, you get some more content -- and you can judge whether you think it can help or not for your case -- for becoming "verbally strong and socially strong" and "courage to face my fears" I think this product is useful.

One thing I like that he suggests doing is "friendly greetings challenge" or something like that. Its sounds SUPER silly, but I said "Alright I got this product so let me just try it out before I judge." He says to go to a mall or some area with a lot of foot traffic and just say "hi" or "hey what's up" to 25 people...and do it like, "putting yourself out there" like expressively rather than just doing it meekly. I did this a few times at places like even Wal-mart, and while its "totally weird" its really awesome to realize "Just because its not socially normal to say hi to people at Wal-mart (or the mall or Whole Foods or wherever you choose), I can still do it and still think I'm great." It kinda shows you a lot of your mental bullshit and limiting self-belief...or it did for me.

If that product is too pricey (its $500 on his email list rather than a grand on his site), his book "The Solution for Social Anxiety" is also excellent. If you go through this videos, feel free to PM me to ask me anything more specific about it.

For Willpower the book "Willpower Instinct" was awesome -- Kelly McGonical is a pretty smart researcher and distills down the research into what works in a very actionable way.

For "Business Knowledge" none of these products help except in terms of making you more confident to apply what you know -- IMO that is unrelated to social confidence or bravery or whatever, but there are tons of posts around to talk about that topic. Personally I'm learning that stuff from the book "Millionaire Fastlane" and a Robert Kiyosaki book, and reading business articles that seem relevant to me, and then when I encounter a word that I'm not certain what it means, I google until I have a high level. e.g. "executive chairman" -- wtf is that, enough time on Wikipedia "Oh its chairman of the board of directors who is also CEO" (I think that's correct), e.g. "distributor vs reseller" -- until I figure out "oh this one stocks inventory, this one doesn't..." Also going through "Bookkeeping for Dummies" and looking through relevant IRS documents like "WTF is 1040 and WTF is Schedule C" (I did some freelance work this year so first time I'm encountering these terms).

Hope you find something useful in this wall of text..back to work!
 

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