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Accepting negative is very positive

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I hate negative stuff, wanna change for better, get business, or increase income of current one, and just be a better person, live life for better and delay death?
I do, but is it right thing, it doesn't matter, what does is only way to get there is by accepting change for worse, loving poverty, and knowing your worst side, and experiencing death daily through mental work - only when you accept the total opposite of what you're trying to achieve, then you can finally get there people who "want" a goal or "try" and put "effort" are doing what is common - delaying it, having a DESIRE means delaying what you want to achieve, but simply choosing, getting up, doing and getting - without deadlines, plans, todolists and funny attempts to become immortal thinking you are your body is the key to the kingdom of god inside of us - simply letting go, surrendering to what's happening with a grin, a smile on the face, cup of coffee, toxic thoughts, and shit like that can get you there.
The more we "want" and "try" and put "effort" to be better - the worse we f*cking get, what you "want" is your birthright, happiness is withing, any attempt to "get it" outside of oneself, and "change" what is in constant change naturally is... playing god... why do we do that, we are gonna die someday, make it today - die today, imagine you're one hundred years old and gone back to your past, seeing on a mirror that m*otherfucker who delayed EVERYTHING that is in today to somewhere someday somehow, and say "f*ck you" and simply surrender, and then you get everything, stop trying to read books, trying to workout, trying to open a business, trying to find a woman, trying to live long life, trying to be better daily - and just be it.
 
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