I had an interesting experience today that reinforced one of MJ’s recent videos about asymmetric risk.
I was vacuuming out my car while listening to his video, and the idea stuck with me more than I realized.
Quick backstory: I’m trying to get out of a car lease because it no longer makes sense to keep paying for a vehicle I’m barely using. I’ve been trying to get some paperwork from the dealership, but they’ve been dragging their feet.
Today, I ended up on the phone with a salesperson who was extremely rude and aggressive. I’m usually a pretty laid-back person. It takes a lot to get me fired up. But this guy got under my skin, and I found myself arguing with him on the phone, which is something I almost never do.
After I got off the call, I was still fuming.
So I went online and left a one-star review.
And not just a vague one. I called out the situation with specific details and made it pretty clear how bad the experience was. In the moment, it felt satisfying. I remember thinking, “Good. Now they’ll feel it.”
But about 30 minutes later, I cooled down and realized something.
First, it probably wasn’t the right move. Maybe the guy was having a bad day. Maybe he’s just bad at his job. Either way, I never have to deal with him again, and my goal isn’t to make someone’s life worse.
But more importantly, I realized something else.
This guy had access to my paperwork. He had my address. He knew who I was. And while the odds are probably low, there is always a chance someone is completely unhinged.
And that’s when MJ’s point about asymmetric risk hit me.
The upside of leaving the review was small: a little emotional satisfaction, maybe making the dealership look bad, maybe making the salesperson’s day worse.
But the downside, even if unlikely, could be massive.
Maybe nothing happens. Probably nothing happens. But if this person were unstable and decided to take it personally, now I’ve created unnecessary risk for myself and my family over a moment of anger.
So I deleted the review.
I didn’t really want to. Part of me still wanted to leave it up. But it felt like the smarter move.
That was the lesson for me.
Sometimes the “win” you get from reacting emotionally is tiny, but the possible downside is way bigger than it first appears.
That’s asymmetric risk.
And in that moment, I realized I’d rather let the dealership be annoying and move on with my life than take on even a small chance of something much worse happening over a one-star review.
So thanks @MJ DeMarco for that video.
I was vacuuming out my car while listening to his video, and the idea stuck with me more than I realized.
Quick backstory: I’m trying to get out of a car lease because it no longer makes sense to keep paying for a vehicle I’m barely using. I’ve been trying to get some paperwork from the dealership, but they’ve been dragging their feet.
Today, I ended up on the phone with a salesperson who was extremely rude and aggressive. I’m usually a pretty laid-back person. It takes a lot to get me fired up. But this guy got under my skin, and I found myself arguing with him on the phone, which is something I almost never do.
After I got off the call, I was still fuming.
So I went online and left a one-star review.
And not just a vague one. I called out the situation with specific details and made it pretty clear how bad the experience was. In the moment, it felt satisfying. I remember thinking, “Good. Now they’ll feel it.”
But about 30 minutes later, I cooled down and realized something.
First, it probably wasn’t the right move. Maybe the guy was having a bad day. Maybe he’s just bad at his job. Either way, I never have to deal with him again, and my goal isn’t to make someone’s life worse.
But more importantly, I realized something else.
This guy had access to my paperwork. He had my address. He knew who I was. And while the odds are probably low, there is always a chance someone is completely unhinged.
And that’s when MJ’s point about asymmetric risk hit me.
The upside of leaving the review was small: a little emotional satisfaction, maybe making the dealership look bad, maybe making the salesperson’s day worse.
But the downside, even if unlikely, could be massive.
Maybe nothing happens. Probably nothing happens. But if this person were unstable and decided to take it personally, now I’ve created unnecessary risk for myself and my family over a moment of anger.
So I deleted the review.
I didn’t really want to. Part of me still wanted to leave it up. But it felt like the smarter move.
That was the lesson for me.
Sometimes the “win” you get from reacting emotionally is tiny, but the possible downside is way bigger than it first appears.
That’s asymmetric risk.
And in that moment, I realized I’d rather let the dealership be annoying and move on with my life than take on even a small chance of something much worse happening over a one-star review.
So thanks @MJ DeMarco for that video.
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