15 and destined to the slowlane ?

[Cuki21]

Hello I wanted to post this thread just to seek out for some possible advice, if anyone wanna give me their advice i would appreciate it so that i could collect advice and make up my own opinion about my actual situation and what to do.

So I'm actually 15,living in France (moved there from england with my family) our family has very decent living standards we got a big appartment and luxuries that some may not afford. I've had some various problems at 10 like suffering with stress and insomnia, because of school. However 4 years passed and I'm now in 2nd year of high school. This summer I've began reading mj's books, I've always wanted to be an engineer, creating solutions to solve important problems, but the millionaire fastlane learnt me how to plan out a more careful and efficient financial plan and understand that even people with good degrees dont always make it out in life, I've talked to my parents about the book and that I don't want to get a regular job during the rest of my life but I wanted to start my own things, im actually working hard to get a computer science degree one day just for the knowledge, but the demotivation are my parents, because of reading the millionaire fastlane , my parents thought it was a bad "influence" big lols, slowlane applies to my dad who barely never spent much time because of work with his son trying to understanding him and educating him, my mother is a lunatic who's probably a toxic parent despite me having passion for maths and programmation, activities who involve a lot of thinking and logic, my mother screams at me for the most stupid things even if she's wrong, even screaming about subjects she knows no shit about, living with my parents is hard, i feel emotionaly abused mostly when i just get insulted about my habits, I've got a problem with talking , my parents consider my way of talking antipathic and arrogant, i litteraly cant communicate, sometimes my parents obligate me to talk to "solve the problem" when they dont let me talk and just scream, tell me youre not going out bla bla bla, i swear my mother is a demon, she screams, insults, throws shit at me, and next day pretends like nothing happened, i cant say anything because it will make things worse, i just cry in my room and try to not you know punch a hole in my wall, being told that you're the reason for ruining your mothers life like holy shit im 15 im not sure that you're supposed to cry at that age, I would of preferred being bullied then having that mom, at least you can prevent encountering the bullies, i sometimes tell myself that im exagerating, people probably have worse problems then me, I hope that this thread isnt some pathetic story about a kid who has housing, food and a bed when others dont i would really appreciate if someone could give some tips, I seriously wont be able to hold 1 more year. I hope one day that I can actually be happy, not be stressed depressed or insomniac because of parents that rhink they know whats good for their childs future when their life isn't brilliant.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

Unfortunately, at your age, you have to do what your parents say. And engineering and computer science are great skills to have, Fastlane, job, or otherwise.

But you won't always be under your parents thumb.

There is nothing wrong with carrying a Fastlane mindset into adulthood. That's how I started.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Cuki21]

Unfortunately, at your age, you have to do what your parents say. And engineering and computer science are great skills to have, Fastlane, job, or otherwise.

But you won't always be under your parents thumb.

There is nothing wrong with carrying a Fastlane mindset into adulthood. That's how I started.

Welcome to the forum.

Yeah I think that having degrees and cs and some kind of other engineering should be beneficial enough knowledge wise, can't wait to participate in other interesting threads !

 

[ExaltedLife]

Hey buddy,

Having come from a toxic household too, I've got some advice for you. I've learned that a lot of people, if their home lives were stable in their childhood, simply don't understand what it's like, and how much stress and anxiety it causes.

1. You're 15, you're not destined for anything. There are a wealth of options available to you. You're basically the richest guy here because of the amount of time you have in front of you. Keep learning, keep your cool, and start working on a skill that can make you enough money to afford your own apartment. I know what it's like to be in a chaotic home at your age. My parents acted like apes. Sometimes they still do, 13 years later (I'm 28). You will treasure the peace and solitude that you get when you get your own apartment.

PS. It's not as hard as you might think, as long as you work and keep your expenses down you can save a lot of money and have a lot of time to work on your own projects at the same time.

2. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. If you want to experiment, it can wait till your 20's. Your brain is still developing, and any bad habits you pick up now are going to cause you grief later. One of my biggest mistakes was that I sought refuge from the chaos of my home life in the 'security' of friendships - friendships which led me into a life of partying, drugs and blackout drinking that took way more from me than I ever got in return.

3. Take time to sit in silence. I didn't learn the value of this till I was 25 - before that, any time my stress and anxiety reared up, I sought escapes in junk food, television, reading, socializing, drinking, drugs, you name it. Some things, like reading, were beneficial, but mostly I was running from my feelings instead of learning to sit with them. Meditation helps to calm the parts of your brain that experience stressful emotions, and it strengthens your prefrontal cortex, which is your executive decision making part of the brain. The hard thinking part, and it's going to keep developing until you're 24-25. Take care of your brain.

4. Exercise! Just take at least 10 minutes a day to do something to get the blood flowing. Look up 10 minute exercises on youtube and follow along. It's one of the best things there is for building your stress-resiliency.

If you want to talk more about it, and want some help coming up with some strategies, pm me.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[The-J]

Welcome to the forum.

Unfortunately, we're probably not going to be able to help you deal with emotionally abusive parents. The best you can do is acknowledge the abuse for what it is, don't blame yourself for it, and make a plan to get out. I don't know what kind of mental health services you have available in your area or at your school, but give those a try and see if they help.

In the meantime, studying math and programming will take you far. You'd be surprised at how great an engineering or a computer science education is for entrepreneurship. You don't have to be Slowlane if you don't want to, which is the point of TMF and Unscripted .

 

[_Seba_]

Not talking to slowlane people about fastlane principles was one of the very first lessons I‘ve learned after I read the book. They won‘t take you serious and sometimes even get mad about you.

What I think about your family situation: keep in mind that you‘re not responsible for your parents behavior. Try to do your own thing and always remember that it‘s just a part in your life that will end, very soon infact. I had a similar family situation and my mother kicked me out when I was 16, and while it was hard in the beginning my life changed for the better in almost an instant.

Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to the forum