This is Me...Desire vs Responsibility

[Sfbloo]

I guess this is an introduction and also to seek opinion of people in similar position.

I've read TMF and I'm a few chapters in on Unscripted . Hugely powerful and eye opening books. I've read some of the epic gold threads on here and blown away with the success and dedication of the posters, plus the willingness to share and help. Respect.

Currently I'm 100% slowlane:

• An OK job (Fairly relaxed environment, easy to work for if you don’t take liberties). Good people and an above average salary for my field. I don’t mind my job, but I don’t enjoy it.
• I have two young kids (3 and 5)
• I'm UK based, and 38 years old.
• Debt = Mortgage
• Some savings banked (Rainy day, if I lost my job etc)
• I don’t fully commit to the “save all my life and see the world when im older” – I don’t assume i will be around that long. I've lost friends and colleagues in my 30s sadly so have no right to assume it will be a long life, so I don’t think as far ahead as 60s/70s. I do however pay into a pension – contradiction.
  
• I don’t have great expenses. I cut down on a lot of luxuries to allow my wife to step back in her role and work less days. To be around the children whilst they are young. We cut our combined salary by 40% and managed…..just. Family time became the highest priority over a shiny new car or bustling social life.
  
• I want to create experiences and memories for my children. I rarely have nights out and restaurant visits are on special occasions only. We spend money on the kids and vacations.

Over the last 3 years I've been hustling with other things to try and earn a little extra to pay for some luxuries (vacations) and to put aside for a rainy day (if I lost my job).

I'm pessimistic by nature, and I'm firmly aware if I want anything then I need to make it happen.

My kids (and wife) are motivation to achieve something, but also motivation to carry on doing what I do, earning my salary each month. Playing it safe. I know!

However I wondered who else is in the same position and what it takes to break the mindset?

I feel like if I was 20 I would quit my job, and put every hour into what I want to achieve. I cant make that commitment at 38 with family to provide for. They MUST always be the priority.

I haven't had a lightbulb moment yet. I haven't seen the product or service I feel could lead me down my own path. I am busy learning new skills and I feel like the more I read this forum the more my eyes open to the world around me. The more I want/need to be my own boss.

My “plan” at the moment is to keep working the day job, keep learning outside of that, keep looking for opportunity, keep learning from the vast wealth of knowledge on here, and when I see the opportunity then triple my efforts then go for it.

I'm making an assumption that the more Info and topics on FF that I expose myself too, the more my perspective will change. The greater chance of seeing opportunity and how to approach it.

Am I holding myself back? Of those that have had success how many of you battled with the family commitments before taking the plunge? Is it easy to think of that “idea” whilst working 40 hours and not deviating from family time?

Thank you for the immense knowledge I've read on here (and in the books) so far.

 

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[Walter Hay]

At least you have taken the first steps towards independence. Congratulations on that.

I always kept a "Bright Ideas" file in my filing cabinet. Whenever any kind of business idea came to me, whether while driving, in a business meeting, or even when waking in the middle of the night, I would make a note and file it.

If you like that method, just be sure you don't delay because the idea will soon vanish in the midst of all the other things that occupy your mind.

Review that file periodically. Research any that look promising after you have reflected on them for a while, and discard any that fail scrutiny. If a truly good opportunity remains in that file - execute!

Listen to people grumbling about problems, whether regarding products or services. Don't turn a deaf ear to their grumbles - they might sow the seeds of a great new venture.

I still get the occasional bright idea, but at my advanced age I no longer bother recording them.

Walter

 

[Sfbloo]

Thankyou for the response Walter. Advice I will take heed of given your proven expertise.

I use Google docs for something similar. I've also took notes on some of the epic gold threads including yours, biophase, g_alexander, vigilante, ecomman and many more....just to try and understand the processes....

The more I read the more I feel it's possible but it's the "where to start" that leaves me hanging. Dropship, import, manufacture, provide a service etc.

I will focus more on collecting problems rather than how others are being successful.

It will come to me!

 

[cutthroughstatic]

Thankyou for the response Walter. Advice I will take heed of given your proven expertise.

I use Google docs for something similar. I've also took notes on some of the epic gold threads including yours, biophase, g_alexander, vigilante, ecomman and many more....just to try and understand the processes....

The more I read the more I feel it's possible but it's the "where to start" that leaves me hanging. Dropship, import, manufacture, provide a service etc.

I will focus more on collecting problems rather than how others are being successful.

It will come to me!

Hey man welcome to the forum. You're on the right track, it sounds like.

Understand that your current job is not a chain holding you back. You have responsibilities in your life, big ones. Family, wife/kids, schooling, house, etc. Your job is to meet those responsibilities - in that, you should feel proud and successful.

Yet, you want something more. What is the motivation? The feeling of more security knowing you have control? The feeling of more security in having a larger rainy day fund? Having more time to spend with your family? Figure out your true motivation. This is key. It will help determine what venture would suit you best.

I would suggest spending as much time as possible brainstorming your deepest motivation, and then visualizing what that would look like in terms of career/finances/family in a few years. Reverse engineer this thing. Use it to narrow down a path. And once that path is found, STAY WITH YOUR JOB until the side business is viable. It will take a TON of time to work on both, but it will be worth it in the end.

 

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[Sfbloo]

Hey man welcome to the forum. You're on the right track, it sounds like.

Understand that your current job is not a chain holding you back. You have responsibilities in your life, big ones. Family, wife/kids, schooling, house, etc. Your job is to meet those responsibilities - in that, you should feel proud and successful.

Yet, you want something more. What is the motivation? The feeling of more security knowing you have control? The feeling of more security in having a larger rainy day fund? Having more time to spend with your family? Figure out your true motivation. This is key. It will help determine what venture would suit you best.

I would suggest spending as much time as possible brainstorming your deepest motivation, and then visualizing what that would look like in terms of career/finances/family in a few years. Reverse engineer this thing. Use it to narrow down a path. And once that path is found, STAY WITH YOUR JOB until the side business is viable. It will take a TON of time to work on both, but it will be worth it in the end.

Thank you for the response, the reassurance, and making me think about this from another view point.

Definitely something for me to consider.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Of those that have had success how many of you battled with the family commitments before taking the plunge?

There are plenty of people with families who have started businesses. Sure it would be easier 20 and single, but this is just another obstacle. If anything, someone with a wife/family should want it more than the single guy who's doing it for other reasons. Either you want it, or you don't. (Disappearing 5X a week for 10 hours isn't necessarily good for the family either.)

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Sfbloo]

There are plenty of people with families who have started businesses. Sure it would be easier 20 and single, but this is just another obstacle. If anything, someone with a wife/family should want it more than the single guy who's doing it for other reasons. Either you want it, or you don't. (Disappearing 5X a week for 10 hours isn't necessarily good for the family either.)

Welcome to the forum.

Thankyou, and I certainly agree with the motivation, those pesky kids change everything

 

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