What's new

Let's talk about purpose

Welcome to the only entrepreneur forum dedicated to building life-changing wealth.

Build a Fastlane business. Earn real financial freedom. Live your best life.

Tired of paying for dead communities hosted by absent gurus who don't have time for you?

Imagine having a multi-millionaire mentor by your side EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been a cornerstone of Fastlane, actively contributing on over 99% of days—99.92% to be exact! With more than 39,000 game-changing posts, he's dedicated to helping entrepreneurs achieve their freedom. Join a thriving community of over 90,000 members and access a vast library of over 1,000,000 posts from entrepreneurs around the globe.

Forum membership removes this block.

jeandearme

Regular Contributor
LEGACY MEMBER
Read Fastlane!
Joined
May 2, 2011
Messages
203
Rep Bank
$574
User Power: 67%
<div class="bbWrapper">I watched today <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzF2_AYjqak" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">MJDeMarco&#039;s video about purpose</a> and there&#039;s a part where he is saying that first purpose should be personal as in i.e. becoming a multi-millionaire.<br /> <br /> What struck me is that despite wanting that (well, who doesn&#039;t) that purpose completely doesn&#039;t push me nor creates motivation to work. There is no drive nor passion nor even energy to support this &#039;want&#039;.<br /> <br /> What&#039;s my current situation?<br /> <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">net worth is low (around low 5-figs)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">used to earn a living via coding (as a senior dev), but I hate working 9-5 (and meetings) despite good money and freelancing is flood with cheap labor from Asia</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">coded some apps that barely make money</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">went into crypto - made some money, lived off of it (still do), realized that full-time trading is not for me (I&#039;m better at just holding and long term swings)</li> </ul>so I&#039;m back to square one. Not really sure where to go next. With depression between my ears, I&#039;m kinda out of ideas. Even dropped on martial arts trainings for now because I feel even worse after them and when I do them in the morning I sleep half day to regenerate and other half I try to get to work and do something so it just costs me too much time.<br /> <br /> I honestly feel beaten up by life and constantly loosing in the game of life since for the last almost 20 years now (I&#039;m almost 40). Never bought myself a nice car, never really lived a good life. At times I have days that I feel better, but most of the time it&#039;s how I described. And no, therapy also doesn&#039;t work for me - tried it twice, never really helped me now I see in the hindsight.<br /> <br /> What would you do?</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161812" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161812" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161812">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I watched today <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzF2_AYjqak" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">MJDeMarco&#039;s video about purpose</a> and there&#039;s a part where he is saying that first purpose should be personal as in i.e. becoming a multi-millionaire.<br /> <br /> What struck me is that despite wanting that (well, who doesn&#039;t) that purpose completely doesn&#039;t push me nor creates motivation to work. There is no drive nor passion nor even energy to support this &#039;want&#039;.<br /> <br /> What&#039;s my current situation?<br /> <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">net worth is low (around low 5-figs)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">used to earn a living via coding (as a senior dev), but I hate working 9-5 (and meetings) despite good money and freelancing is flood with cheap labor from Asia</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">coded some apps that barely make money</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">went into crypto - made some money, lived off of it (still do), realized that full-time trading is not for me (I&#039;m better at just holding and long term swings)</li> </ul>so I&#039;m back to square one. Not really sure where to go next. With depression between my ears, I&#039;m kinda out of ideas. Even dropped on martial arts trainings for now because I feel even worse after them and when I do them in the morning I sleep half day to regenerate and other half I try to get to work and do something so it just costs me too much time.<br /> <br /> I honestly feel beaten up by life and constantly loosing in the game of life since for the last almost 20 years now (I&#039;m almost 40). Never bought myself a nice car, never really lived a good life. At times I have days that I feel better, but most of the time it&#039;s how I described. And no, therapy also doesn&#039;t work for me - tried it twice, never really helped me now I see in the hindsight.<br /> <br /> What would you do? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I didn’t get the full story. Where are you from?<br /> <br /> If you have been a senior developer for many years, and made some money off crypto to be able to live on it how did you end up with low 5 digit net-worth only.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 64612" data-quote="Kevin88660" data-source="post: 1161813" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161813" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161813">Kevin88660 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I didn’t get the full story. Where are you from?<br /> <br /> If you have been a senior developer for many years, and made some money off crypto to be able to live on it how did you end up with low 5 digit net-worth only. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I&#039;m from Europe. I ended up with low 5 digit net-worth because I lived off of it a bit + market dumped significantly so probably in few months I will be again in 6 figs+ territory net-worth wise.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161814" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161814" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161814">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I&#039;m from Europe. I ended up with low 5 digit net-worth because I lived off of it a bit + market dumped significantly so probably in few months I will be again in 6 figs+ territory net-worth wise. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Ok I am seeing the picture now.<br /> <br /> Most of your net worth has been in Altcoins?<br /> <br /> I have been playing with altcoins with small money that I can afford to lose all. I realised that it has been a waste of time because bitcoin dominance is long term getting stronger and stronger. It’s already hard to have the winners to cover the vast more number of losses.<br /> <br /> Over the long term it’s much better to be cashflow rich from business and pursue long term investment that get stronger and stronger over time by investing in bigger size.<br /> <br /> Instead of trying to be the minority winner in the zero sum/negative sum games aiming 5-10x or more on your investment, do a lot of research (waste a lot of time) and be stressed about it, or you can earn a cashflow from a business or income and invest in btc or large cap stocks expecting 10-20 percent a year with no stress, no time wasted in “research”.<br /> <br /> I think Ice-cream Kid has a few post about tech sales. You can search for it.<br /> <br /> At your age the bad news is you have no exploration time and its best to choose your own expertise and continues to hammer it aggressively. The good news is you have the work and business experience to make the sound choice and decision.</div>
 
Last edited:
<div class="bbWrapper">Does this help?<br /> <br /> <div class="embed fauxBlockLink" data-embed-content="thread-114162" data-embed-content-url="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/the-problem-purpose-paradigm-fire-unlimited-motivation-and-laser-focus.114162/"> <div class="embed-container contentRow contentRow--alignMiddle"> <div class="contentRow-figure"> <a href="/community/members/mj-demarco.1/" class="avatar avatar--s" data-user-id="1" data-xf-init="member-tooltip"> <img src="/community/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1704926753" srcset="/community/data/avatars/m/0/1.jpg?1704926753 2x" alt="MJ DeMarco" class="avatar-u1-s" width="48" height="48" loading="lazy" /> </a> </div> <div class="contentRow-main"> <h3 class="contentRow-header"> <span class="label label--blue" dir="auto">NEWSLETTER</span> <a href="/community/threads/the-problem-purpose-paradigm-fire-unlimited-motivation-and-laser-focus.114162/" class="fauxBlockLink-blockLink u-cloaked">Thread 'The Problem/Purpose Paradigm: Fire Unlimited Motivation and Laser Focus...'</a> </h3> <div class="contentRow-minor contentRow-minor--hideLinks"> <time class="u-dt" dir="auto" datetime="2024-07-11T12:33:35-0400" data-timestamp="1720715615" data-date="Jul 11, 2024" data-time="12:33 PM" data-short="Jul &#039;24" title="Jul 11, 2024 at 12:33 PM">Jul 11, 2024</time> </div> </div> </div> <div class="embed-preview"> <div class="bbWrapper"><span style="font-size: 22px"><b>The Problem/Purpose Paradigm</b></span><br /> <b>How to Tap Into Unlimited Motivation and Give Yourself a Laser-Like Focus. Every. Single. Day.</b><br /> <br /> <br /> Imagine you&#039;re chained to a railroad track.<br /> <br /> 
In the distance, you hear the ominous clatter of an approaching train. Your heart pounds like a jackhammer, and every beat is a desperate reminder that time is slipping away.<br /> 
The lock mechanism trapping you on the tracks can only be solved if you decipher the Latin passcode etched on its surface.<br /> <br /> 
Death is around the corner if you don&#039;t take action and translate the code from Latin to English. As a...</div> </div> <div class="embed-footer"> <div class="embed-footer-main"> <ul class="listInline listInline--bullet"> <li><a href="/community/members/mj-demarco.1/" class="username " dir="auto" data-user-id="1" data-xf-init="member-tooltip"><span class="username--staff username--moderator username--admin">MJ DeMarco</span></a></li> <li> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_motivation" dir="auto"> motivation </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_passion-2" dir="auto"> passion </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_problem" dir="auto"> problem </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_problems" dir="auto"> problems </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_purpose" dir="auto"> purpose </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_value-skew" dir="auto"> value skew </span> </li> <li>Replies: 20</li> <li>Forum: <a href="/community/forums/entrepreneurial-execution/">Process and Execution</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="embed-footer-opposite"> <ul class="reactionSummary"> <li><span class="reaction reaction--small reaction--1" data-reaction-id="1"><i aria-hidden="true"></i><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" loading="lazy" class="reaction-sprite js-reaction" alt="Like" title="Like" /></span></li><li><span class="reaction reaction--small reaction--12" data-reaction-id="12"><i aria-hidden="true"></i><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" loading="lazy" class="reaction-sprite js-reaction" alt="Gold!" title="Gold!" /></span></li><li><span class="reaction reaction--small reaction--7" data-reaction-id="7"><i aria-hidden="true"></i><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" loading="lazy" class="reaction-sprite js-reaction" alt="Thank You" title="Thank You" /></span></li> </ul> </div> </div> </div></div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161812" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161812" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161812">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Never bought myself a nice car, never really lived a good life. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> What is a good life to you? By most people standards you live comfortably, right? So you&#039;re not scrambling to figure out where the next meal comes from. Do you like the place where you live? Do you like the relationships in your circles? Do you want a nice car? What&#039;s stopping you?<br /> <br /> Start by trying to pinpoint what is missing, what do you want? Is there something that wakes up something inside you? Do you even know what your ideal life looks like? Could it be that you have a pretty comfy life to be grateful about, but maybe you just want some excitement? Maybe you are missing some sense of fulfillment from what you do for a living? Maybe you can separate that from what you do for a living and do it on the side? Or switch to make it into the same thing? Does it make a difference? Yes? No? <br /> <br /> I could die tomorrow, no regrets. I&#039;m not like &quot;oh no but I haven&#039;t yet climbed the Everest!&quot; cause I don&#039;t care about that. What about you? Does something come to mind?</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 64612" data-quote="Kevin88660" data-source="post: 1161815" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161815" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161815">Kevin88660 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Most of your net worth has been in Altcoins? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Yes<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 64612" data-quote="Kevin88660" data-source="post: 1161815" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161815" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161815">Kevin88660 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Over the long term it’s much better to be cashflow rich from business and pursue long term investment that get stronger and stronger over time by investing in bigger size.<br /> <br /> Instead of trying to be the minority winner in the zero sum/negative sum games aiming 5-10x or more on your investment, do a lot of research (waste a lot of time) and be stressed about it, or you can earn a cashflow from a business or income and invest in btc or large cap stocks expecting 10-20 percent a year with no stress, no time wasted in “research”. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>This. I realized the cabal is just too strong. Those that make money are mostly either devs or insiders or scammers or traders with big stacks that go for proved assets (mostly Lindy ones which makes sense). Still, cashflow rich from multiple streams seems the best idea still since crypto is quite seasonal.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 1" data-quote="MJ DeMarco" data-source="post: 1161817" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161817" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161817">MJ DeMarco said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Does this help?<br /> <br /> <div class="embed fauxBlockLink" data-embed-content="thread-114162" data-embed-content-url="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/the-problem-purpose-paradigm-fire-unlimited-motivation-and-laser-focus.114162/"> <div class="embed-container contentRow contentRow--alignMiddle"> <div class="contentRow-figure"> <a href="/community/members/mj-demarco.1/" class="avatar avatar--s" data-user-id="1" data-xf-init="member-tooltip"> <img src="/community/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1704926753" srcset="/community/data/avatars/m/0/1.jpg?1704926753 2x" alt="MJ DeMarco" class="avatar-u1-s" width="48" height="48" loading="lazy" /> </a> </div> <div class="contentRow-main"> <h3 class="contentRow-header"> <span class="label label--blue" dir="auto">NEWSLETTER</span> <a href="/community/threads/the-problem-purpose-paradigm-fire-unlimited-motivation-and-laser-focus.114162/" class="fauxBlockLink-blockLink u-cloaked">Thread 'The Problem/Purpose Paradigm: Fire Unlimited Motivation and Laser Focus...'</a> </h3> <div class="contentRow-minor contentRow-minor--hideLinks"> <time class="u-dt" dir="auto" datetime="2024-07-11T12:33:35-0400" data-timestamp="1720715615" data-date="Jul 11, 2024" data-time="12:33 PM" data-short="Jul &#039;24" title="Jul 11, 2024 at 12:33 PM">Jul 11, 2024</time> </div> </div> </div> <div class="embed-preview"> <div class="bbWrapper"><span style="font-size: 22px"><b>The Problem/Purpose Paradigm</b></span><br /> <b>How to Tap Into Unlimited Motivation and Give Yourself a Laser-Like Focus. Every. Single. Day.</b><br /> <br /> <br /> Imagine you&#039;re chained to a railroad track.<br /> <br /> 
In the distance, you hear the ominous clatter of an approaching train. Your heart pounds like a jackhammer, and every beat is a desperate reminder that time is slipping away.<br /> 
The lock mechanism trapping you on the tracks can only be solved if you decipher the Latin passcode etched on its surface.<br /> <br /> 
Death is around the corner if you don&#039;t take action and translate the code from Latin to English. As a...</div> </div> <div class="embed-footer"> <div class="embed-footer-main"> <ul class="listInline listInline--bullet"> <li><a href="/community/members/mj-demarco.1/" class="username " dir="auto" data-user-id="1" data-xf-init="member-tooltip"><span class="username--staff username--moderator username--admin">MJ DeMarco</span></a></li> <li> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_motivation" dir="auto"> motivation </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_passion-2" dir="auto"> passion </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_problem" dir="auto"> problem </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_problems" dir="auto"> problems </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_purpose" dir="auto"> purpose </span> <span class="tagItem tagItem--tag_value-skew" dir="auto"> value skew </span> </li> <li>Replies: 20</li> <li>Forum: <a href="/community/forums/entrepreneurial-execution/">Process and Execution</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="embed-footer-opposite"> <ul class="reactionSummary"> <li><span class="reaction reaction--small reaction--1" data-reaction-id="1"><i aria-hidden="true"></i><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" loading="lazy" class="reaction-sprite js-reaction" alt="Like" title="Like" /></span></li><li><span class="reaction reaction--small reaction--12" data-reaction-id="12"><i aria-hidden="true"></i><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" loading="lazy" class="reaction-sprite js-reaction" alt="Gold!" title="Gold!" /></span></li><li><span class="reaction reaction--small reaction--7" data-reaction-id="7"><i aria-hidden="true"></i><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" loading="lazy" class="reaction-sprite js-reaction" alt="Thank You" title="Thank You" /></span></li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I read it yesterday, but unfortunately it didn&#039;t do it for me - maybe because for me it would just be easier to stay on those railroads and not worry anymore? That&#039;s how I currently feel about my life.<br /> <br /> 2-3 years ago my nervous system got overloaded with stress from trying to make it and since then (when I failed again) I don&#039;t feel much anymore. Probable reason might be that I remember how last time I cared burned me down to depression I fight since then.<br /> <br /> My purpose at the early stage of my life was same as yours - to live, and live well. I even have my old notepads where I listed all the cars I will buy once I will make it and I was maybe 15yo at the time. Now, at almost 40, I&#039;m still struggling in life to make it as I imagined.<br /> <br /> Solving my own problem? I did made products around them, but market didn&#039;t seem to care about them as much as I did (sold two small biz&#039;s that way - 4 figs each so nothing big). Recently made another thing that is okay, but so niche that in good times it will maybe bring $1-2k/mo. The only significant money I made in my life was via working for someone else with programming. So, at least from my perspective, a loser&#039;s life.<br /> <br /> At times, my life makes me think that some people are just made to make it and some (like me) are just not. It&#039;s only winners that say that failures are steps to success.<br /> <br /> Real question: should I even ask these things publicly? I feel now like I&#039;m wasting your time - I&#039;m okay for this thread to be removed if it brings the forum vibe down, just didn&#039;t know where to put it honestly</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1161823" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161823" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161823">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> What is a good life to you? By most people standards you live comfortably, right? So you&#039;re not scrambling to figure out where the next meal comes from. Do you like the place where you live? Do you like the relationships in your circles? Do you want a nice car? What&#039;s stopping you?<br /> <br /> Start by trying to pinpoint what is missing, what do you want? Is there something that wakes up something inside you? Do you even know what your ideal life looks like? Could it be that you have a pretty comfy life to be grateful about, but maybe you just want some excitement? Maybe you are missing some sense of fulfillment from what you do for a living? Maybe you can separate that from what you do for a living and do it on the side? Or switch to make it into the same thing? Does it make a difference? Yes? No?<br /> <br /> I could die tomorrow, no regrets. I&#039;m not like &quot;oh no but I haven&#039;t yet climbed the Everest!&quot; cause I don&#039;t care about that. What about you? Does something come to mind? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I just want to have enough to not worry. Being able to live off of my crypto portfolio was closest to my ideal life, but life had different view on it. I just had enough of everything and everyone - and crypto was closest to not deal with anyone nor care about anything.<br /> <br /> Good questions tho, will ponder on them more deeply. But yeah, I could also die tomorrow and have no regrets, but from different reasons than you - because for now I see no point of it.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161812" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161812" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161812">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> What would you do? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I’d read <i>Nicomachean Ethics</i> by Aristotle and actually apply it, not just skim through it and move on.<br /> <br /> Even after 2,000 years, his breakdown of what it means to live well still holds up.<br /> <br /> It’s not just philosophical crap. It’s a practical guide to building habits, shaping character, and balancing virtues in real life.<br /> <br /> It’s free, in the public domain, and far more useful than all the self-help bullshit books out there.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161824" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161824" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161824">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Yes<br /> <br /> This. I realized the cabal is just too strong. Those that make money are mostly either devs or insiders or scammers or traders with big stacks that go for proved assets (mostly Lindy ones which makes sense). Still, cashflow rich from multiple streams seems the best idea still since crypto is quite seasonal.<br /> <br /> <br /> I read it yesterday, but unfortunately it didn&#039;t do it for me - maybe because for me it would just be easier to stay on those railroads and not worry anymore? That&#039;s how I currently feel about my life.<br /> <br /> 2-3 years ago my nervous system got overloaded with stress from trying to make it and since then (when I failed again) I don&#039;t feel much anymore. Probable reason might be that I remember how last time I cared burned me down to depression I fight since then.<br /> <br /> My purpose at the early stage of my life was same as yours - to live, and live well. I even have my old notepads where I listed all the cars I will buy once I will make it and I was maybe 15yo at the time. Now, at almost 40, I&#039;m still struggling in life to make it as I imagined.<br /> <br /> Solving my own problem? I did made products around them, but market didn&#039;t seem to care about them as much as I did (sold two small biz&#039;s that way - 4 figs each so nothing big). Recently made another thing that is okay, but so niche that in good times it will maybe bring $1-2k/mo. The only significant money I made in my life was via working for someone else with programming. So, at least from my perspective, a loser&#039;s life.<br /> <br /> At times, my life makes me think that some people are just made to make it and some (like me) are just not. It&#039;s only winners that say that failures are steps to success.<br /> <br /> Real question: should I even ask these things publicly? I feel now like I&#039;m wasting your time - I&#039;m okay for this thread to be removed if it brings the forum vibe down, just didn&#039;t know where to put it honestly </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>It’s okay to feel disappointed that things are moving the way you want it. We all do many times.<br /> <br /> What’s your next goal to bring cashflow in? Business idea or job ideas? Not about potentially good ideas but things you know that will surely bring cash in 3-6 months times and no later than that.<br /> <br /> You sound defeated and that could be only cured using a victory no matter how small the victory is.<br /> <br /> A victory has to be defined by $cash coming into your bank account.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Dude you made and sold two biz. I can&#039;t even get one off the ground. You made ok money from programming. You figured out crypto so you didn&#039;t have to deal with people and you did it and now you don&#039;t have to deal with people anymore. Why do you say all that doesn&#039;t matter? Your depression is speaking. Those are accomplishments, and they are not insignificant. How high is the bar you are using to measure &quot;how good&quot; an accomplishment is? Is it even realistic? You&#039;ve got some impostor syndrome going on. I should know, bc I do the same. <br /> <br /> Just bc you aren&#039;t in the Forbes list of millionaires under 40 or something like that doesn&#039;t mean you failed. You&#039;re doing great. You just want even MORE. It&#039;s not wrong, but make sure you don&#039;t just keep moving the goal posts forever, because that kind of pursue never ends, it won&#039;t give you happiness. You will be F*ck-you-money rich but you will still be miserable. See the difference? You have this arbitrary goal that isn&#039;t even specific, it&#039;s super vague because you can&#039;t even define it for me, so that tells me that it&#039;s not gonna get better with just money. <br /> <br /> Really hone in about what this life you imagined looked like, I think. Go from there.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 64612" data-quote="Kevin88660" data-source="post: 1161838" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161838" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161838">Kevin88660 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> It’s okay to disappointed that things are moving the way you want it. We all do many times.<br /> <br /> What’s your next goal to bring cashflow in? Business idea or job ideas? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>At this point I, although reluctantly but increasingly, tilt towards just getting a full-time depressing job. Because I absolutely hate it, with meetings on top of it.<br /> <br /> Besides that, I&#039;m testing whole &quot;vibe coding&quot; thing where you code using Cursor and prompts so I&#039;m just making some simple game to see how it works (since I never made a game before nor I intended to do so it&#039;s not really passion project).<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1161839" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161839" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161839">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Dude you made and sold two biz. I can&#039;t even get one off the ground. You made ok money from programming. You figured out crypto so you didn&#039;t have to deal with people and you did it and now you don&#039;t have to deal with people anymore. Why do you say all that doesn&#039;t matter? Your depression is speaking. Those are accomplishments, and they are not insignificant. How high is the bar you are using to measure &quot;how good&quot; an accomplishment is? Is it even realistic? You&#039;ve got some impostor syndrome going on. I should know, bc I do the same. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Do those accomplishment matter if at the end of the day I don&#039;t care nor my landlord when I have to pay the rent?<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1161839" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161839" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161839">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Just bc you aren&#039;t in the Forbes list of millionaires under 40 or something like that doesn&#039;t mean you failed. You&#039;re doing great. You just want even MORE. It&#039;s not wrong, but make sure you don&#039;t just keep moving the goal posts forever, because that kind of pursue never ends, it won&#039;t give you happiness. You will be F*ck-you-money rich but you will still be miserable. See the difference? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I&#039;d rather be miserable with money because at least I can just fly to Italy and be sad in the italian sun which in result make me feel better. Or, as classic would say, I&#039;d rather cry in Bentley. A man is only as good as his last shot.<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1161839" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161839" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161839">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> You have this arbitrary goal that isn&#039;t even specific, it&#039;s super vague because you can&#039;t even define it for me, so that tells me that it&#039;s not gonna get better with just money. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Nah, I had specific money goals with steps where first step was $1m (with eventual figure of $30m). Then I dropped it to $500k to make it a bit easier. Now I&#039;d be happy with $200k even and have a cheaper car instead of what I imagined for myself. That&#039;s the real depression - when you slowly have to give up on the dreams you see others are crushing.<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1161839" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161839" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161839">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Really hone in about what this life you imagined looked like, I think. Go from there. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I imagined being larger than life, but life had different plans. Regardless, won&#039;t hurt to redo it and see what happens.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Nothing wrong with job as a stepping stone now.<br /> <br /> It helps you to build your emergency cash for future business ideas.<br /> <br /> Nothing builds confidence like cash coming in, which is what you need right now.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161812" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161812" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161812">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I watched today <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzF2_AYjqak" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">MJDeMarco&#039;s video about purpose</a> and there&#039;s a part where he is saying that first purpose should be personal as in i.e. becoming a multi-millionaire.<br /> <br /> What struck me is that despite wanting that (well, who doesn&#039;t) that purpose completely doesn&#039;t push me nor creates motivation to work. There is no drive nor passion nor even energy to support this &#039;want&#039;.<br /> <br /> What&#039;s my current situation?<br /> <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">net worth is low (around low 5-figs)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">used to earn a living via coding (as a senior dev), but I hate working 9-5 (and meetings) despite good money and freelancing is flood with cheap labor from Asia</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">coded some apps that barely make money</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">went into crypto - made some money, lived off of it (still do), realized that full-time trading is not for me (I&#039;m better at just holding and long term swings)</li> </ul>so I&#039;m back to square one. Not really sure where to go next. With depression between my ears, I&#039;m kinda out of ideas. Even dropped on martial arts trainings for now because I feel even worse after them and when I do them in the morning I sleep half day to regenerate and other half I try to get to work and do something so it just costs me too much time.<br /> <br /> I honestly feel beaten up by life and constantly loosing in the game of life since for the last almost 20 years now (I&#039;m almost 40). Never bought myself a nice car, never really lived a good life. At times I have days that I feel better, but most of the time it&#039;s how I described. And no, therapy also doesn&#039;t work for me - tried it twice, never really helped me now I see in the hindsight.<br /> <br /> What would you do? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/17799/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="17799" data-username="@jeandearme">@jeandearme</a> <br /> Your story resonates deeply with me because it feels like a reflection of my own journey. I&#039;m over 40 now, and like you, I&#039;ve spent years in the world of coding. I worked on e-commerce platforms since the early days of OSCommerce, Miva, Magento, BigCommerce, and Shopify. Along the way, I stumbled, failed, and tried again — a dozen times or more.<br /> <br /> I once had an online pet store back when online shopping was still a new and wild idea. I opened four food businesses — a food truck, a small bar, a pizza restaurant, and more. I started service companies, launched products, and even tried my luck with investments. But the truth is, I lost a good chunk of money — at IBKR, I’m currently at a 96% loss, and eToro isn’t looking much better.<br /> <br /> Yet through it all, I kept chasing a dream — a life where financial decisions didn’t weigh me down. I wanted to fly business class without hesitation. I dreamed of staying in five-star hotels and driving a Range Rover without checking my bank balance. I’ve lived a decent life — better than millions — but that deep sense of fulfillment still feels out of reach. I know my expectations aren’t too high; they’re just the life I believed I could build for myself.<br /> <br /> I&#039;ve battled ADHD and procrastination for as long as I can remember. Everything gets done — but only when the fire&#039;s already burning. Even something as simple as paying an electricity bill? I&#039;ll push it off until the final warning notice arrives. It&#039;s frustrating because I know these tasks take minutes, yet they weigh on me like mountains.<br /> <br /> Relationships haven’t been easy either. I feel distant from my parents, and with my immediate family, there are endless concerns and unresolved issues.<br /> <br /> All these struggles — the failures, the broken connections — they play on repeat in my mind, and that loop has dragged me into depression more than once. Some days, it still does.<br /> <br /> But I refuse to give up. I&#039;ve realized that change isn’t about one giant leap — it’s about learning from those failures and listening to people who inspire transformation. That&#039;s why MJ DeMarco&#039;s books have been life-changing for me. His wisdom isn’t just about personal success — it’s about creating something meaningful that positively impacts thousands of others. When you build a successful product or service, you’re lifting people up with you. That’s world-changing.<br /> <br /> Some days, I feel so low that I can’t work at all — just stuck in endless thoughts about what went wrong. On better days, I push myself to be productive. But I’ve never had that power-packed, ultra-productive day — the kind where you smash through 16 hours of focused work. I know why: my mind is constantly battling those memories of failure, the financial stress, and the fear of falling short again.<br /> <br /> I avoid parties, family gatherings, and social events — not because I dislike people, but because I’d rather hide. It feels easier to be alone.<br /> <br /> Yet I know this: my purpose and dream in life are far greater than what I&#039;m currently doing. But for now, what I’m doing is crucial — I need to achieve financial stability first. Only then can I step into my true calling. So I keep pushing forward, one step at a time. Even when my mind feels heavy, I focus on one small action — then another, and another.<br /> <br /> If you’re still fighting for success, I believe your journey has incredible value. You’ve spent years learning coding, building businesses, and gathering hard-won experience. If you can channel all that knowledge into a focused path — something that aligns with your strengths and demands your full energy — I know you’ll make incredible progress.<br /> <br /> You already believe in the principles MJ teaches, and I know they can change your life too. If you’d like, we can connect and support each other — pushing each other to stay accountable and move forward.<br /> <br /> Life isn’t perfect, but we can build something better. Take one step today — no matter how small — then another tomorrow. Keep moving forward.<br /> <br /> All the best. Stay strong, stay grateful, and keep believing in yourself.<br /> <br /> Warm regards,<br /> BC</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Becoming a multi-milionaire isn&#039;t a purpose. It&#039;s not even a goal...<br /> <br /> If you want to find your purpose it takes a lot more soul searching than just chasing money. You may even have multiple purposes that feed into a grander one.<br /> <br /> Look for an anti-vision. What do you want to expel from your life? What would you want future you to never suffer from. What do you want the future world to be spared from?<br /> <br /> Then find your place within it, and get closer to a proper vision of your own future.<br /> <br /> Don&#039;t rely on motivation or bs external copes.<br /> <br /> Fix yourself instead.<br /> <br /> Go for a walk. Process your emotions. Find clarity in your path forward and you&#039;ll find your purpose after that.<br /> <br /> Wallowing and coping won&#039;t cut it.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 64612" data-quote="Kevin88660" data-source="post: 1161841" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161841" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161841">Kevin88660 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Nothing wrong with job as a stepping stone now.<br /> <br /> It helps you to build your emergency cash for future business ideas.<br /> <br /> Nothing builds confidence like cash coming in, which is what you need right now. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I know you are right since it&#039;s what makes the money counts the most (at least at the beginning). I have one more idea to try (already doing it) and if it won&#039;t work then job it is. At least senior devs are still sought after.<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 133186" data-quote="bc0510" data-source="post: 1161847" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161847" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161847">bc0510 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/17799/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="17799" data-username="@jeandearme">@jeandearme</a><br /> Your story resonates deeply with me because it feels like a reflection of my own journey. I&#039;m over 40 now, and like you, I&#039;ve spent years in the world of coding. I worked on e-commerce platforms since the early days of OSCommerce, Miva, Magento, BigCommerce, and Shopify. Along the way, I stumbled, failed, and tried again — a dozen times or more.<br /> <br /> I once had an online pet store back when online shopping was still a new and wild idea. I opened four food businesses — a food truck, a small bar, a pizza restaurant, and more. I started service companies, launched products, and even tried my luck with investments. But the truth is, I lost a good chunk of money — at IBKR, I’m currently at a 96% loss, and eToro isn’t looking much better.<br /> <br /> Yet through it all, I kept chasing a dream — a life where financial decisions didn’t weigh me down. I wanted to fly business class without hesitation. I dreamed of staying in five-star hotels and driving a Range Rover without checking my bank balance. I’ve lived a decent life — better than millions — but that deep sense of fulfillment still feels out of reach. I know my expectations aren’t too high; they’re just the life I believed I could build for myself.<br /> <br /> I&#039;ve battled ADHD and procrastination for as long as I can remember. Everything gets done — but only when the fire&#039;s already burning. Even something as simple as paying an electricity bill? I&#039;ll push it off until the final warning notice arrives. It&#039;s frustrating because I know these tasks take minutes, yet they weigh on me like mountains.<br /> <br /> Relationships haven’t been easy either. I feel distant from my parents, and with my immediate family, there are endless concerns and unresolved issues.<br /> <br /> All these struggles — the failures, the broken connections — they play on repeat in my mind, and that loop has dragged me into depression more than once. Some days, it still does.<br /> <br /> But I refuse to give up. I&#039;ve realized that change isn’t about one giant leap — it’s about learning from those failures and listening to people who inspire transformation. That&#039;s why MJ DeMarco&#039;s books have been life-changing for me. His wisdom isn’t just about personal success — it’s about creating something meaningful that positively impacts thousands of others. When you build a successful product or service, you’re lifting people up with you. That’s world-changing.<br /> <br /> Some days, I feel so low that I can’t work at all — just stuck in endless thoughts about what went wrong. On better days, I push myself to be productive. But I’ve never had that power-packed, ultra-productive day — the kind where you smash through 16 hours of focused work. I know why: my mind is constantly battling those memories of failure, the financial stress, and the fear of falling short again.<br /> <br /> I avoid parties, family gatherings, and social events — not because I dislike people, but because I’d rather hide. It feels easier to be alone.<br /> <br /> Yet I know this: my purpose and dream in life are far greater than what I&#039;m currently doing. But for now, what I’m doing is crucial — I need to achieve financial stability first. Only then can I step into my true calling. So I keep pushing forward, one step at a time. Even when my mind feels heavy, I focus on one small action — then another, and another.<br /> <br /> If you’re still fighting for success, I believe your journey has incredible value. You’ve spent years learning coding, building businesses, and gathering hard-won experience. If you can channel all that knowledge into a focused path — something that aligns with your strengths and demands your full energy — I know you’ll make incredible progress.<br /> <br /> You already believe in the principles MJ teaches, and I know they can change your life too. If you’d like, we can connect and support each other — pushing each other to stay accountable and move forward.<br /> <br /> Life isn’t perfect, but we can build something better. Take one step today — no matter how small — then another tomorrow. Keep moving forward.<br /> <br /> All the best. Stay strong, stay grateful, and keep believing in yourself.<br /> <br /> Warm regards,<br /> BC </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>My man, your story for real sounds close to mine. Just different business, but the core of it is there. Thanks for sharing, one thinks his problems are unique until he meets another one with basically same set of challenges.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 20195" data-quote="Speed112" data-source="post: 1161937" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161937" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161937">Speed112 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Becoming a multi-milionaire isn&#039;t a purpose. It&#039;s not even a goal...<br /> <br /> If you want to find your purpose it takes a lot more soul searching than just chasing money. You may even have multiple purposes that feed into a grander one.<br /> <br /> Look for an anti-vision. What do you want to expel from your life? What would you want future you to never suffer from. What do you want the future world to be spared from?<br /> <br /> Then find your place within it, and get closer to a proper vision of your own future.<br /> <br /> Don&#039;t rely on motivation or bs external copes.<br /> <br /> Fix yourself instead.<br /> <br /> Go for a walk. Process your emotions. Find clarity in your path forward and you&#039;ll find your purpose after that.<br /> <br /> Wallowing and coping won&#039;t cut it. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Anti-vision is interesting. Will ponder on this as well.<br /> <br /> Many good ideas here from so many of you - I will process all of them one by one and I think it might be also a time to read MJ&#039;s books again to just get my mind a bit more focused. I forgot to mention I have ADHD, but already doing something about it.<br /> <br /> This forum really is filled with good people. Kudos to <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/1/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="1" data-username="@MJ DeMarco">@MJ DeMarco</a> for making this forum.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Purpose is often dependent on the congruence between your actions and your identity, and the feeling of belonging. In the sense that we should neither live alone, for ourselves, or among others only for them, but to strike a balance between them. As in, to find our place in the group... our role in the family, in society, at work, in our friend group.<br /> <br /> So think about if your goals are unique to your strengths/interests as a person, and if they help you serve others in different contexts.<br /> <br /> It is common with men, that if they feel &#039;useless&#039;, as in not having a role to play, unable to help others, they become depressed. Happens often in retirement.<br /> <br /> If you have a mono-focus and lock in on &quot;I will be a multi-millionaire&quot; it&#039;s easy to limit yourself to one role in life, like that of a family provider. But you can have multiple roles at the same time. In fact, it&#039;s better, as the roles often support each other. That way you can get inspiration, energy and confidence from multiple sources. That way you bear heavy burdens without collapsing. <br /> <br /> Reminds me of this good old Shakespeare quote:<br /> <br /> <i>All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts</i><br /> <br /> Shakespeare is talking about the phases of life. First you are a child, then a student, then a soldier etc. In modern life however, these phases overlap and there are no clear beginning or ends. There&#039;s less focus on tradition, ceremony, marriage, coming-of-age. This means that you can be a lifelong student, a lifelong bachelor, always strive for a better job, never mature, and so on. <br /> <br /> But it also means you can design your own life, and set whatever goals or limits you want. You don&#039;t have to pursue life in a linear fashion with traditional goals.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161840" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161840" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161840">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> A man is only as good as his last shot. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Says who? What makes you feel this way? Is it a rational thought or just an &quot;impression&quot;? <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161840" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161840" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161840">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> when you slowly have to give up on the dreams you see others are crushing. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>You should never have tied your dreams to your identity in the first place. Classic rookie mistake. Did you actually try to make it work? What did you learn from your failures? And if you had another shot, what would you do differently?<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161840" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161840" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161840">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I imagined being larger than life, but life had different plans. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Once again, tying your self-worth to the outcome is a mistake. Do you realize that, due to adaptation, you’d probably still be unhappy even if you got what you wanted? <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/690806/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">Studies show</a> that lottery winners and accident victims tend to have the same level of happiness in the long run.<br /> <br /> The point? Focus on what you can control. Get laser-focused on your values and the actions that honor them. That’s how you create your purpose.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 114807" data-quote="Panos Daras" data-source="post: 1161963" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161963" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161963">Panos Daras said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Says who? What makes you feel this way? Is it a rational thought or just an &quot;impression&quot;? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>My bank account. I literally live on a monthly basis and my landlord doesn&#039;t care about my past.<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 114807" data-quote="Panos Daras" data-source="post: 1161963" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161963" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161963">Panos Daras said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> You should never have tied your dreams to your identity in the first place. Classic rookie mistake. Did you actually try to make it work? What did you learn from your failures? And if you had another shot, what would you do differently? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>That&#039;s a good question.<br /> <br /> For sure I&#039;d close/sell those two businesses I sold much earlier - that&#039;s one. Maybe would not try to force on myself to be good with people and try to network when I don&#039;t really like it or just get exploited by others because of me being naive. Also, wouldn&#039;t care so much about my family - I cared way to much about someone that never wanted things to be good in the first place. Wasted more than 13 years to fix something that couldn&#039;t be fixed.<br /> <br /> There quite a lot I&#039;d change, lessons are learned - it&#039;s just the energy is not the same and what I&#039;m trying to focus right now is to get my energy levels higher. Seems to me that everything starts with just getting in the proper place first and then just push forward from there (as in: hard to push when no energy available).<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 114807" data-quote="Panos Daras" data-source="post: 1161963" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161963" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161963">Panos Daras said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Once again, tying your self-worth to the outcome is a mistake. Do you realize that, due to adaptation, you’d probably still be unhappy even if you got what you wanted? <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/690806/" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">Studies show</a> that lottery winners and accident victims tend to have the same level of happiness in the long run.<br /> <br /> The point? Focus on what you can control. Get laser-focused on your values and the actions that honor them. That’s how you create your purpose. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Yes, focusing on controllables is what I&#039;m still learning. At times I&#039;m just disgusted at the world - I see so many scammers that get away with so much and live good life (where&#039;s the karma?) and good guys struggling to even live good. It&#039;s truly disheartening. One would say it&#039;s a problem to solve and I would love to take &quot;care&quot; of these, but to fight one still need to have capital first.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 17799" data-quote="jeandearme" data-source="post: 1161965" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1161965" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1161965">jeandearme said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> My bank account. I literally live on a monthly basis and my landlord doesn&#039;t care about my past.<br /> <br /> That&#039;s a good question.<br /> <br /> For sure I&#039;d close/sell those two businesses I sold much earlier - that&#039;s one. Maybe would not try to force on myself to be good with people and try to network when I don&#039;t really like it or just get exploited by others because of me being naive. Also, wouldn&#039;t care so much about my family - I cared way to much about someone that never wanted things to be good in the first place. Wasted more than 13 years to fix something that couldn&#039;t be fixed.<br /> <br /> There quite a lot I&#039;d change, lessons are learned - it&#039;s just the energy is not the same and what I&#039;m trying to focus right now is to get my energy levels higher. Seems to me that everything starts with just getting in the proper place first and then just push forward from there (as in: hard to push when no energy available).<br /> <br /> Yes, focusing on controllables is what I&#039;m still learning. At times I&#039;m just disgusted at the world - I see so many scammers that get away with so much and live good life (where&#039;s the karma?) and good guys struggling to even live good. It&#039;s truly disheartening. One would say it&#039;s a problem to solve and I would love to take &quot;care&quot; of these, but to fight one still need to have capital first. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I don&#039;t know if a short break from everything and a new place will help you, but sometimes it works magically. You need to relax as you have gone through many things. I know advising someone about this is easy, but following the same advice is hard. <br /> <br /> RESET</div>
 

Welcome to an Entrepreneurial Revolution

The Fastlane Forum empowers you to break free from conventional thinking to achieve financial freedom through UNSCRIPTED® Entrepreneurship where relative value and problem-solving are executed at scale. Living Unscripted® isn’t just a business strategy—it’s a way of life.

Follow MJ DeMarco

Get The Books that Change Lives...

The Fastlane entrepreneurial strategy is based on the CENTS Framework® which is based on the three best-selling books by MJ DeMarco.

mj demarco books
Back
Top Bottom