Okay so this is a bit creepy. I began to really take a look at myself a lot more in the last few months. I have made strong attempts to change different parts of my life. For instance, I have lost 35 lbs and I have super focused on writing a novel and getting it published. But, this weekend I noticed something about me. I became aware of a single trait of mine and have been trying to figure out why I do it.
Okay so here it is. I can drink several cups of coffee but when I clean up my messes there is always a little bit left at the bottom. I figured it may be something about the bottom tasting gross, or by the time I get there it's too cold and I have learned not to finish it. I then realized at dinner I leave a tiny bit (half a swig) of milk at the bottom. Why?
There are several books I have read that are bookmarked with just 20 or 30 pages left I have never finished. I then realized that the closer I became to accomplishing any goal no matter how small or how big I begin to take the pressure off.
I am thinking it could be fear of success? I have told myself, and others, that fear isn't one of my traits. I am wondering if fear resides deep inside on a level I am not even aware of. Could it be stemmed from childhood? Why do I look around and see things not finished when I want it so badly?
It's not everything, because I am still going strong on my physical health and my books. But if I had to be honest with myself, all the old habits are possibly preventing me from following through completely. I just never thought of myself as fearing success. In fact, I feel I have embraced it.
Is there something else I am missing possibly? Does anyone have any theories? The sooner I can sort through this, the sooner I can deal with it. Thoughts anyone?
Okay so here it is. I can drink several cups of coffee but when I clean up my messes there is always a little bit left at the bottom. I figured it may be something about the bottom tasting gross, or by the time I get there it's too cold and I have learned not to finish it. I then realized at dinner I leave a tiny bit (half a swig) of milk at the bottom. Why?
There are several books I have read that are bookmarked with just 20 or 30 pages left I have never finished. I then realized that the closer I became to accomplishing any goal no matter how small or how big I begin to take the pressure off.
I am thinking it could be fear of success? I have told myself, and others, that fear isn't one of my traits. I am wondering if fear resides deep inside on a level I am not even aware of. Could it be stemmed from childhood? Why do I look around and see things not finished when I want it so badly?
It's not everything, because I am still going strong on my physical health and my books. But if I had to be honest with myself, all the old habits are possibly preventing me from following through completely. I just never thought of myself as fearing success. In fact, I feel I have embraced it.
Is there something else I am missing possibly? Does anyone have any theories? The sooner I can sort through this, the sooner I can deal with it. Thoughts anyone?
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