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This post is a little unorthodox for the forum, but I swear it is related. Let me explain why...<br />
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I'll start with a little about me. I'm a 32 year old female and I have two fur children (goldendoodles). I'm an engineer, I have a fairly high paying 9-5 that lets me work remotely and have decent flexibility but I still absolutely hate it, and I manage my finances fairly well (no debt or car payment, emergency fund, retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, etc. etc.). I love doing crossfit competitively, snowboarding, hiking, going to the beach, traveling frequently, reading often, and learning as much as I can (working on Spanish right now). Finally, I'm laser focused on retiring by 40. Quite the spectrum, I know<br />
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Anyway, onto the main point...<br />
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I think we (single people) can all agree that dating in 2023 is absolutely dreadful. Between dating apps and social media, we live in the age of ghosting, gaslighting, and catfishing. On top of all that, being a Fastlaner makes it even harder (in my opinion, at least). Pre-reading The Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted, I definitely had my "criteria" that was I looking for in a long term relationship. You know standard stuff: have a "good" job, live a healthy & active lifestyle, not be a serial killer or a catfish or try to steal my identify. All of those things still hold true after reading both books, although now I'm almost too selective.<br />
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As I've started my Fastlane journey and I'm executing on my first idea, I've fully immersed myself in the mindset and ideology of getting out of the rat race and living on my own terms. I've found this to be somewhat challenging when dating as most people I've encountered are very much in the Slowlane and have no intentions of doing life any other way. I'm almost immediately turned off by this as I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone that just wants to work their 9-5 while I'm working on my exit strategy. What happens when one of my ideas is finally the one? I liquidate and live the rest of my life living without an alarm clock or a "job." I think I'm having an extremely hard time overcoming the difference in mindset. I'm almost subconsciously devaluing the path of the people I go on dates with because I so badly want out of the Fastlane. I'm struggling to bridge the gap in mindset. <br />
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I'm not sure if I'm very much overthinking this or there are other Fastlaners that are experiencing similar issues when trying to date? I know this isn't directly related to standard forum talk but I do think having such a dramatic shift in mindset has had a significant impact on what I'm looking for in a partner and what I envision for my life.<br />
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Would love to hear thoughts!
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</blockquote>Hi! I think your post is very interesting and it resonates with me. <br />
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First: I have deep respect for women like you (I'm female, too) for participating in today's dating world and still not giving up. I'd be completely lost. I hear stories about ghosting and narcissistic behaviour from men on these dating apps like all the time. <br />
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Second: I totally understand you being almost turned off by a slowlane lifestyle. I think people with a fastlane mindset have had it since a long time actually, it has to do with life goals, values and personality - and with personal growth, too. I could not imagine having a slowlane/sidewalk partner. It's like going in complete different directions. My partner has a fastlane mindset and our relationship feels like we're running towards the same goal. And that is the most important thing to me. Because, let's face it, if you get together with someone who doesn't have the same goals/values, it's just a matter of time until you separate. And then you'd have to start over with dating. <br />
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We are work focused, yes, but it's such a great feeling that the other one understands, why this work is important >>> to get out of the rat race and have more quality time like being able to afford traveling together, instead of watching Netflix together every day. Our relationship is great, because we understand what we want and why we want it. We have much time for each other, because we don't work 9 to 5, and we talk about fastlane themes like money, business, clients. It's exciting! He's my soulmate and we are still very much in love after so many years together.<br />
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I can't imagine a slowlaner understand why I prefer to work on a weekend instead of going out. Or why I want independence and wealth so much more than being content with what I have and work for somebody else.<br />
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I wish you all the best, and you will find somebody, who will jump on the fastlane with you, because you want it. There are many men out there, who love women, who know what they want and who are annoyed by women, who don't know what they want. So, I'm wishing you success!<br />
Anna</div>
