THIS is why you are STUCK.

[AroundTheWorld]

BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT BACKWARDS...​

I've noticed a trend. People read the book, they get excited about all the things they want to HAVE, and then they come to this forum asking some version of "What's next?"

If you look deeper, you see that they are thinking in terms of: Have. Do. Be.

HAVE: They want to HAVE things. They want the car or the house or the pool or the fabulous vacations or the amazing partner or the bank account with a lot of zeros.

DO: Then they ask... What do I need to DO to HAVE all those things? Sell products on Amazon? Invent something? Create a sales funnel? Find a product on Alibaba? Crack the code? Get in the Fastlane? Find a Vehicle?

BE: Then, they say.... If I HAVE all those things by DOING the thing I'm going to do, THEN, I will BE happy... successful... amazing.... giving...

Sorry to break it too you, but that is exactly backwards.

If you are thinking this way, then you are CHASING MONEY. You are NOT creating value, and your desire for happiness will elude you.

What is the solution? FLIP IT ON ITS HEAD...

FIRST: BE

BE the person you want to be.

BE happy by deciding to be happy. It doesn't take the house or the pool or the vacation. It takes you choosing happiness, in that moment. BE an entrepreneur. It doesn't take owning a company you will be taking public next week, or launching a kickstarter campaign, or getting onto shark tank. Sure, those things may come... but that doesn't make you an entrepreneur.

BE an entrepreneur by deciding. Decide to wake up, each and every day and making a decision to RUN your business, or LEARN something that will improve your business, or TAKE the next step - even though it is hard.

BE a philanthropist or missionally oriented by looking at a homeless person in the eye, or taking in a foster child, or giving a loan on Kiva or volunteering for your favorite charity.

The list is endless. WHO do you WANT to be? WHO do you know you are... deep down? Forgiving? Understanding? Motivating? Strong? A leader? A generous person? A compassionate person? A happy person? A family person?

DON'T WAIT to be the person you are meant to be. DO IT NOW. The only thing holding you back is THE DECISION TO DO IT.

THEN: DO

Only when you know the person you ARE. Only when you are BEING the person you are, can you EFFECTIVELY DO.

When you ARE an entrepreneur, then you wake up every day and DO THE WORK of entrepreneurship. You make the calls, solve the problems, develop the systems.

When you ARE giving, you take the time to volunteer at the charity, or listen compassionately, or love deeply.

The act of DOING flows easily from the person you ARE.

The DOING will be creating VALUE, because you are not chasing the all might dollar. You understand that the dollar will come to you when you provide value.

FINALLY: YOU WILL HAVE

Having.... they money, the things, the cars. All these "things" will flow naturally out of your DOING. They will never come to you if you are chasing them with no other motivation or understanding. Or they may come to you temporarily, but they will leave you again soon enough - if you haven't build the foundation you need.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

In other words, or for those who TL;DR things... change your identity if you want to change your results.

There's a long thread going on INSIDE about someone struggling with addiction. (Entitled "Self FN Discipline") We mentioned this there -- motivation often falls short and what really needs to go on is an identity change.

For example...

I want to be an entrepreneur.

NO.

You are an entrepreneur.

In the world of health...

I want to be a non-smoker.

NO.

I am a non-smoker.

Then when someone asks, "Cigarette?" It violates your identity to say "Yes" or "Sure, maybe just one." The answer becomes a quick NO.

Motivation is fleeting. Identity is lifelong.

Rep+

 

[MJ DeMarco]

When I first came here, anyone could ask the most basic question and get a friendly, non-judgmental, instructional reply.

Are you apart of the problem? Or part of the solution? I don't see any recent contributions from you. Forums are mostly take with little give. The people complaining are usually the takers. They expect all give from the givers and when the givers don't feel respected, or their advice is ignored (not even a click thanks) or when their shit is stolen, they leave. Forums are like mini-socialist experiments... once everyone sits on the side of TAKE and there is no one left to GIVE, they die.

I personally don't think you can really "BE" first... what you'd "BE" is a fake. And if you're a person with integrity it would bother you.

I understand what you're saying here. However, IMO, you are describing "fake it until you make it" -- that's not what this is advocating. It's advocating becoming someone who you need to become to effect real change.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit

Exactly. Going on a diet is not excellence. Declaring that you are healthy and will eat, exercise, and live to that standard is. The habit will validate the character change, or expose you as a fraud.

You think MJ would have wrote his book if he was still delivering pizzas or driving limos?

He is able to do these things because of money... it changed him.

Money didn't change me, the process changed me. Money was the result of that process. I've been an entrepreneur my entire life. It's in my DNA and my character. And half of that life, I've been broke.

Please put this post in perspective of this type of thinking...

"I'm going to give this Fastlane a try!"
"TMF was great, gonna give it a shot"

All the above are signals of failure because you aren't backing your declaration with character. Entrepreneurship has to become apart of your character and essence, and it has nothing to do with money. Fastlane is not something you try, it's something you live. BE. Then DO. Then Have.

 

[SteveO]

People tend to put their wants first. I believe that the original premise of the post is that you should put your focus on yourself, not on your desires. Take care of yourself and your own issues. Once this is done, the rest will fall into place.

The part of her post that resonates with me is the part about being happy. When I had lost 10M and had nothing left, all I could think about was misery and pain. It was all self inflicted. This went on for quite a while. One day as I was reflecting, I happened to think about the fact that I was no happier when I had what seemed like an endless supply of money than I was when I was 18 and had no money. I was jobless and sleeping in my car under bridges. This helped bring me out of my misery.

This world is not about pain and misery unless we make it be. It is about fun and happiness if we CHOOSE.

I grew up in poverty. I have worked slowlane jobs. I have worked for myself. I have also spent a number of years of my life with wealth and no job by choice. I know how it all feels.

 

[Iwokeup]

I have witnessed the maturity of this forum and it's funny how it is becoming just like some of the older so-called "help" or "business" forums I know.

When I first came here, anyone could ask the most basic question and get a friendly, non-judgmental, instructional reply. Most of the posts I read today are from people who have some degree of insight and are "talking down" to new freedom seekers. They read MJ's book and now they are preachers.

I've been broke and I've had money. And let me tell you... when your just starting out and/or broke... you have no idea what kind of person you could become once you get $2 over lunch money. Money is transformational. It's one thing to carry yourself like you're rich, but it's a totally other thing to actually experience. That experience will broaden your horizons unlike anything you could ever imagine. People will look at you differently and treat you differently.

You will evaluate things differently. Almost every person of means I know values time and guards it jealously. When you are just getting started, you will waste time entertaining any and everyone you think can help you get a leg up.

I personally don't think you can really "BE" first... what you'd "BE" is a fake. And if you're a person with integrity it would bother you.

You think MJ would have wrote his book if he was still delivering pizzas or driving limos? You think he would have started this forum if he didn't already have experience on the subject matter or a successful online biz? What do you think gives him the balls to go against the grain of society's norms and tell you to buck them in pursuit of your financial dreams? Why do you take his advice of how to become a millionaire seriously?

He is able to do these things because of money... it changed him. It made him more powerful, more confident in his abilities. And that kind of confidence has a way of attracting people and good fortune to you. (MJ, you chime in if I'm wrong)

How to accumulate money is why most freedom seekers come to this forum. Sure they need to learn about the pitfalls of chasing money and the virtues of value creation, but I think it would be more instructional to point people who ask "noobie" questions to posts that have explained or answered what they are searching for, as opposed to posting some "high brow" mental concept that will do them no good at this point in their journey.

</rant>

With respect to "how to accumulate money" question: I'll have to say that in many ways I totally agree with you. Both The Wife and I have both been extremely poor. So much so that spending $20 on yourself in a month was considered the limit of what you could do. This was true even in residency, let alone medical school. So we definitely know poor. Hell, my wife grew up raising chickens....

For those of you who have never experienced real poverty I'll bet that it's extremely difficult to imagine being something other than poor. I will tell you that the Sidewalk Mentality is rampant because it seems that nothing is in your control, just like MJ said.

On the other hand, you gotta start somewhere. And for me, that was a burning desire (even before HS was finished) that I Wanted to Do Something Big.

Old goals:

o Succeed in the Marine Corps (done)
o Go to college (done)
o Go to graduate school (done)
o Be a doctor (done, and doing)

It wasn't until I got to my current point (with much more money even though I drive a car a decade old & with 220K miles on it) that I realized it was all still Slowlane because of the lack of control. I had never really imagined myself as an entrepeneur...Then I found @MJ DeMarco 's book and and it was a lens focusing the sunlight into a bright, burning flame... Then I read @Vigilante 's, @JackEdwards ' and @biophase s threads and things just exploded inside my mind.

Having enough money to breathe allowed the mind to consider other possibilities..

I will tell you that when I tell other physicians that being a physician is now my secondary thing they have a really difficult time understanding why I would want to "get out." I understand: you work so hard for so long, why would you leave it? I am plagued by the same doubts...but the fear of being at the mercy of the Man or the Gubmint is greater. And so I press on.....

TL;DR:

0 Not having money makes it extremely difficult to imagine anything else until you have some money
o That being said, you gotta look up outta your foxhole at some point and say, "There has to be a better way than this!" <== You have to want more!
o Once you have money (enough to take care of Roof, Food, lights) then and only then can you really Get Going on the Fastlane.
o Just remember where you were once and where you aspire to be.....

In other forums where I've been a mod, we usually dealt with the same thing: We usually posted a sticky with a FAQ...not that anyone actually read it before posting a n00b question...

My two cents.

 

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[AroundTheWorld]

Usually people get stuck because they're living in the past most of the time....
... Otherwise they're caught in the future wasting time and day dreaming. It's pretty much that simple.

THIS! Yes. This is absolutely true! Rep + to you!

Most negative emotions can be traced back to either living in the past or living in the future.

Angry?
Bitter?
Sad?
Resentful?

This may mean you are dwelling on some past event. That event is continuing to "own" you because you haven't been able to let it go.

Worried?
Afraid?
Restless?
Unsatisfied?

This may mean you are "living" in some idea of a future event or state of being.

If this is your reason for being STUCK.... then learning to meditate can be a huge help.
If it is the PAST you are stuck in, then learning about / practicing forgiveness can also be a huge help.

 

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[Boo Blizzi]

I have witnessed the maturity of this forum and it's funny how it is becoming just like some of the older so-called "help" or "business" forums I know.

When I first came here, anyone could ask the most basic question and get a friendly, non-judgmental, instructional reply. Most of the posts I read today are from people who have some degree of insight and are "talking down" to new freedom seekers. They read MJ's book and now they are preachers.

I've been broke and I've had money. And let me tell you... when your just starting out and/or broke... you have no idea what kind of person you could become once you get $2 over lunch money. Money is transformational. It's one thing to carry yourself like you're rich, but it's a totally other thing to actually experience. That experience will broaden your horizons unlike anything you could ever imagine. People will look at you differently and treat you differently.

You will evaluate things differently. Almost every person of means I know values time and guards it jealously. When you are just getting started, you will waste time entertaining any and everyone you think can help you get a leg up.

I personally don't think you can really "BE" first... what you'd "BE" is a fake. And if you're a person with integrity it would bother you.

You think MJ would have wrote his book if he was still delivering pizzas or driving limos? You think he would have started this forum if he didn't already have experience on the subject matter or a successful online biz? What do you think gives him the balls to go against the grain of society's norms and tell you to buck them in pursuit of your financial dreams? Why do you take his advice of how to become a millionaire seriously?

He is able to do these things because of money... it changed him. It made him more powerful, more confident in his abilities. And that kind of confidence has a way of attracting people and good fortune to you. (MJ, you chime in if I'm wrong)

How to accumulate money is why most freedom seekers come to this forum. Sure they need to learn about the pitfalls of chasing money and the virtues of value creation, but I think it would be more instructional to point people who ask "noobie" questions to posts that have explained or answered what they are searching for, as opposed to posting some "high brow" mental concept that will do them no good at this point in their journey.

</rant>

 

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[IceCreamKid]

Just want to add though that workplaces can change your personality and cause you to be the person you do not want to be because they can restrict your life and what you want in life which for me will always be freedom from working 5 out of 7 days a week.

I may be wrong on this assumption, but I think what ATW meant when she said "Be who you want to be" was that you should DECIDE to move towards that certain goal which you may have.

For example, pretend a rat racer decided, "I want to be an entrepreneur".

The next question he should ask is, "What do I have to do to get there? Ok since I have a 9-5 gig, I must wake up a little bit earlier each day to work on my project."

The person who hasn't truly DECIDED "I want to be an entrepreneur" would probably say "I want to be an entrepreneur, but....."

There will always be a reason NOT to do something, but when you just DECIDE that THIS IS IT then you experience an interesting change in how you operate.

Restrictions irritate the heck out of me. I can't stand hearing that something cannot be done. Instead of saying, "I can't get X because of Y, why not ask what do I have to do in order to get X?"

Holy shnykies, the world suddenly becomes an abundant place with a little tweaking in the head. It may be a bit of a rocky road flavor to get there, but eventually we can all be partying in the land of rainbow sherbet.

 

[SteveO]

BE happy by deciding to be happy.

!!!!!!!!

 

[Boo Blizzi]

Are you apart of the problem? Or part of the solution? I don't see any recent contributions from you. Forums are mostly take with little give. The people complaining are usually the takers. They expect all give from the givers and when the givers don't feel respected, or their advice is ignored (not even a click thanks) or when their shit is stolen, they leave. Forums are like mini-socialist experiments... once everyone sits on the side of TAKE and there is no one left to GIVE, they die.

I haven't contributed much here because I have been off executing my own processes and businesses. I have varied interest and spending time on forums is time that can be spent launching a new campaign, or recording in the studio, or looking for an investment property.

Money didn't change me, the process changed me. Money was the result of that process. I've been an entrepreneur my entire life. It's in my DNA and my character. And half of that life, I've been broke.

I know it's taboo around here to disagree with you, cuz this is your playground, but... I know you didn't buy your Lambo with "process", you bought it with money.

I've had a similar conversation with 50 cent a while back. And you know what he said... "You damn right the money changed me. It makes people look at me different -- and that's power. If I went through all the shit I went through to make it in this game, and dropped an album that didn't sell, do you think people would love me or hate me as much as they do? Do you think they would listen when I speak? If I didn't blow, do you think they would've cared that I got shot 9 times, locked up, and stabbed? Nobody would've gave a f#ck about me. I'd just be another nigg@ try'na get on."

So here's the point: Sure you've always been an entrepreneur, but once you were able to measure your progress with money, that changed you into an entrepreneur with the power to tell people "take the fastlane." And more importantly, the "money" is what makes them listen to you. Makes them believe you. It's the reason why I listen to chapters 29-37 of your audio book in my truck.

But trust me, if you had gone through your "process" and had nothing but a bag of grapes to show for it... we wouldn't be having this conversation on YOUR (money making) forum , about YOUR (money making) book. In the words of 50, you'd "...just be another nigg@ try'na get on."

Like most of the dudes here.

This is directly from your book:
"Some months I’d PROFIT more than $200,000. Yes, profit! A bad month was $100,000. I earned in two weeks what most people earned in an entire year. Wealth poured in and I was flying low on the radar . . . no fame. If you earned $200,000 every month, how would your life change?"
When you sold your company the first time around for 1.2 mil, you said:
"For the next few years I lived a life of laziness and gluttony. Sure, I worked a few hours a month, but mostly, I worked out, traveled, played video games, bought and raced fast cars, entertained myself with dating Web sites, gambled—I was free because I had a money tree that surrogated for my time and yielded a bountiful monthly harvest."

I don't recall any mentions of "process trees". And I know a person that is passionate about building a business is not "living a life of laziness and gluttony." That 1.2 changed you!

Anyway, I get it. You're a thought leader now and you have to say something more profound than: "find a niche, then put your head down and grind."

But I think that's accurate.

Btw, that's what 50 told me to do when I was just another nigg@ try'na get on. "Find your lane, Son. Then put your head down and grind hard. Don't look up till the world is screaming your name. That's when you know you came up."

But maybe that only applies to the rap game?

 

[AroundTheWorld]

Money does not change who you are.... it acts as a magnifier...

If you are an irresponsible spender when you are broke,
you will find your problems have multiplied after you have money.

If you are not an ethical person when you are broke, your unethical ways will sink you when you have more at stake.

DO the actions to BEcome the person to HAVE the experience.

You know, somthing along the lines of what Aristotle said: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." And my interpretation of habits is that they are simply actions we repeatedly do over time.

Or am I off base here?

I get what you are saying, but here is where it is tricky...

WHY do so many people fail to follow through on creating new habits? It is the human experience.

Why are there so many people in the gym for the first few weeks in January - but the not in February, June, or September? The list goes on and on...

WHY DON'T THE HABITS STICK?

Because the people that are trying to change are simply trying to act their way into something new.... they are acting their way into entrepreneurship, or health, or happy relationships.

It will work for a while, but it won't last.... unless the motivation is coming from something deeper than that.

 

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[Boo Blizzi]

Oh and in an attempt to post something useful for anyone that is looking to get unstuck, try these:

• Instead of thinking about your whole project and getting overwhelmed. Break it down in to bite sized pieces and try to get a quick "small win." Maybe that means just installing WP on your server. Or picking up the phone to call on one sales prospect. That little win will give you momentum to move forward.
• You could also try to time box your projects. Get a timer (on ur phone or whatever) and set it to 33:33 then let it go. Work on nothing else but the very first thing you need to do to move you in the direction of progress. Again it could be any of the simple actions mentioned above. When the time runs out, take a 5-10 minute break then reset the timer and do it again. After a while you will have momentum and work past the 33:33.
• You could also try good old fashioned motivation. On my DVR I have CNBC Titans, The Men Who Built America, How I Made My Millions, Shark Tank, etc. On my ipod, I got Dan Kennedy, Gary Halbert, Frank Kern, Think and Grow Rich, Made to Stick and Switch (by Chip and Dan Heath), Blue Ocean Strategies, The Millionaire Fastlane , and more. When your feeling stuck... play any of this stuff and you will feel a boost. These successful men and women share your kindred entrepreneurial spirit and if you channel their energy you could be the next person we are talking about here.
• This is something that worked for me in business twice. Give 110% effort to serving just handful of customers. If they liked your product or service, they will keep coming back... and you will have no time to be stuck!

Hope that helps someone.

 

[IceCreamKid]

Wow this is creepy. A few days ago I was thinking for hours about writing a post discussing why people get stuck. The idea was inspired after I read a thread about a girl and her boyfriend who read TMF , but didn't know what to do next.

I really like how you approached it from a "choose yourself" angle. Forgetting "perfection" in order to have the opportunity to be your authentic self.

 

[Rawr]

In other words, or for those who TL;DR things... change your identity if you want to change your results.

There's a long thread going on INSIDE about someone struggling with addiction. (Entitled "Self FN Discipline") We mentioned this there -- motivation often falls short and what really needs to go on is an identity change.

For example...

I want to be an entrepreneur.

NO.

You are an entrepreneur.

In the world of health...

I want to be a non-smoker.

NO.

I am a non-smoker.

Then when someone asks, "Cigarette?" It violates your identity to say "Yes" or "Sure, maybe just one." The answer becomes a quick NO.

Motivation is fleeting. Identity is lifelong.

Rep+

Here is a very good video about how to create your identity through choices. I usually stay away from TED but give this one time and about halfway into it something in your brain will start sparking.



http://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices



You create your identity through things you do and DO NOT do. As you think you shall become. Think big, think process and think freedom.

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

I was going to make a thread on what the military does to change personalities and break bad habits.
I'll just quickly list them here, in order:

• Take you away from people who support your old habits and lifestyle
• Change your attire completely
  
• Change your sleeping habits
  
• Change your exercise routine
  
• Change your eating habits
  
• Change your thought patterns

Of course there is a lot more things they do that is good for changing people. After two months of breaking down the old you and building up the soldier, you can see a huge difference.

 

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[oldscool]

@omar it's just semantics.

 

[Mattie]

Usually people get stuck because they're living in the past most of the time. Rewinding every mistake, failure, every negative message from outside and negative self talk. Otherwise they're caught in the future wasting time and day dreaming. It's pretty much that simple.

The only place you can do anything is right now. I usually say move. If you're not moving than you're stuck. There's different ways to word it, there are different templates for different people. Everyone doesn't fit one size fits all. It's what works for the individual. Everyone has different learning styles. I don't think you can make clones of M.J., but I guess if you're a millionaire it's not impossible.

 

[SteveO]

I think @AroundTheWorld spelled this out perfectly.

It is important to be the right person. This should not change as you acquire wealth. I know a few people that have gotten rich in front of my eyes. They did not change much. Some of them are good friends from this forum.

I don't think I have changed. The only people that seem to treat me differently are some employees.

This post is valid and helpful.

 

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[Coalission]

I want to be a non-smoker.

NO.

I am a non-smoker.

Then when someone asks, "Cigarette?" It violates your identity to say "Yes" or "Sure, maybe just one." The answer becomes a quick NO.

I didn't finally quit smoking for good until I went from being "someone who quit smoking" to someone who doesn't smoke. Every time I was offered a cigarette, a simple "No thanks, I don't smoke" was all that was needed, instead of the previous "Nah man, I quit X days ago". Just need to stop keeping count and just become the person you want to be internally. "Act as if" type of thing. Act as if you've never smoked before, and conduct yourself accordingly.

 

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[GuestUser113]

You've got to be before you can do, and do before you can have. – Zig Ziglar

 

[IceCreamKid]

it makes me wonder if they couldn't be working smarter instead and getting more sleep.

For the most part, people are doing the best that they can with the lessons and knowledge they have been handed in life. Some of us were lucky enough to grow up in privileged homes where we were taught excellent lessons while others grew up in broken homes with a negative environment. This topic hurts me deeply because the kid had no say in what his environment would be, but often ends up blaming himself for all the negativity. They end up getting haunted with burning questions in their mind like, "Why would daddy leave me? Was I not good enough for my own dad? If I'm not good enough for my own flesh and blood then I must not be good enough for anybody". It has a huge impact on their character years down the road.

One of the most eye opening experiences of my life was when I was doing community service tutoring kids and helping them create their own vision boards. The kids who grew up in a poor background ended up creating vision boards consisting of them wanting to learn how to put on makeup well and style their own hair. Those who grew up in a wealthy background created vision boards where they looked like a scientist, doctor, dentist, astronaut, lawyer, etc.

So back to the OP's theme: Who do you want to BE?

That's a very tough question, especially if someone had a negative childhood experience.

I'm 28 and I still don't know exactly who I want to be other than that my ultimate end goal is apartment investing and to create some kind of community where people feel free to express themselves in an environment where they are fully accepted as they are.

 

[Mbiz79]

Motivation is fleeting. Identity is lifelong.

 

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[Iwokeup]

I think @AroundTheWorld spelled this out perfectly.

It is important to be the right person. This should not change as you acquire wealth. I know a few people that have gotten rich in front of my eyes. They did not change much. Some of them are good friends from this forum.

I don't think I have changed. The only people that seem to treat me differently are some employees.

This post is valid and helpful.

So what is change, exactly?

If someone has never known that they can be a Fast Laner but then they discover how to do so (by reading MJ's book, or some other catalyst) and change their behaviors and become wealthy...have they changed?

I think what you and @AroundTheWorld are saying is that, once you decide to change then you have to be the change. Yes? I totally agree with this. Once you decide with your mind then you have to change by doing every.single.day. To paraphrase Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."

Great discussion, btw. Thanks y'all.

 

[Rawr]

Really looking forward to hearing how other's answer this one!

I know what's been effective for me and I know Warren Buffet recommends it too:

Think of people you admire, and list the specific qualities you admire. Then work to get more of those qualities in yourself.

I was always good at going "aha" when I noticed that I liked a way someone carried themselves in some regard - be it sticking to the grind no matter what, or telling the truth no matter what, or something else. Then I'd incorporate that behavior, and honestly I think it sticks if you just follow through with it.


ON MJ's point about laziness - read this somewhere before as advice given to a guy who was spiraling down:


At some point, when you get up from the floor, you gonna start running and getting lost in your work. It will be to escape from the thought that's going to eat you alive - what stopped you all those years from getting a job?(creating a fastlane biz) What was so freaking scary? You are going to curse yourself for being so pathetic. Why couldn't you do this earlier?

Why is everything that's so hard now will be so easy later, even the stuff that seems impossible now?

the secret is easy.

It is hard to do things, which you don't have to do. When you have no choice - everything, absolutely everything is easy.

You will understand that lack of choice and the understanding of your ACTUAL desires will make everything easy, even stuff that seemed impossible.

You mistakenly believed that something was going to save you. Now you'll understand you have to climb up yourself.


Jerry seinfeld says "success is the biggest enemy of comedians." I agree, when you have some income coming in passively, it is easy to say "ahh ill scale back"; rather then blast forward..at least IMO. That's why there needs to be a reward system in place... to keep you pushing.

 

[Joe Cassandra]

James Altucher expands on much of what is said in his AMA here on the forum
https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...ucher-startups-publishing-bloggin-more.47309/

And on his site and podcast.

He expands on BE that @AroundTheWorld mentions, you need to work on yourself before you start your path to success.

You need to be healthy:

1) Physically: Dont' eat crap, exercise
2) Emotional: Have fun, smile (it's good for you), cut out negative people in your life
3) Mentally: Test your mind, stretch it. James writes 10 ideas a day. For myself, I'm always combining things to create new things. The other day I thought of combining cologne and cars, perfume for cars when they drive by you. Terrible idea, but it gets your mind going and sharp.
4)Spritual: Doesn't need to mean religion, it can mean meditating (calming the mind) , being generous, being grateful.

After all of these are in order, moving on to Do will be much easier and have a higher success rate.

 

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[craig1928]

http://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits

 

[MJ DeMarco]

And I know a person that is passionate about building a business is not "living a life of laziness and gluttony."

That 1.2 changed you!

Actually it didn't. If I had to describe several negatives about me, negatives that I fight every single day, they would be laziness and gluttony. The $1.2M allowed me to be so. It made me more of what I was already fighting.

 

[BlokeInProgress]

Thanks @AroundTheWorld for the post...needed this one!

The thing I noticed when the thinking is Have. Do. Be is most people tend to complain more often, maybe they feel they're not worth it or something but, most people tend to get more frustrated in the end (sometimes it works though).

e.g.
A person demands a promotion, given a promotion (Manager) - HAVE
Does manager stuffs, learns managers stuffs - DO
Acts as a manager and complains how hard it is - BE

A person wants to be an Entrepreneur (buys a business at once) - HAVE
Learns the business - DO
Becomes the boss and gets frustrated with stuffs - BE

Its like HAVE. DO. BE = RESPONSE/EVENT. EXTERNAL PROCESS. INTERNAL PROCESS where RESPONSES/EVENTS should be normally be at the end not the other way around.

While BE. DO. HAVE = INTERNAL PROCESS. EXTERNAL PROCESS. RESPONSE/EVENT has lesser or no complaints and is more gratifying in the end.

e.g.
A person decides to become a manager before promotion - BE
Learns and does managers stuffs even before getting promoted - DO
Gets promoted - HAVE

Becomes an Entrepreneur in his mind - BE
Learns the business - DO
Buys a business - HAVE

 

[chrischapman]

It's funny, the be-have-do thingy is an interesting concept.

It's funny because people naturally gravitate towards wanting to have things. Duh. I think that really shows who they are (BE) and that is a consumer. They have a consumer mindset.

I reckon having a consumer and user mindset is a total productivity and entrepreneur killer. It's a seductive thought pattern too, people read TMF and they're like, damn! I can get rich. I'll start a company now and work hard. Then I can have a cool house, lambourghini like MJ blah blah blah blah etc.

The law of effection says that you have to affect people though, and that's not gonna happen with a consumer mindset. When you get a producer mindset though, i think that's the best way to get unstuck. If you face a business problem as a consumer, you're like: "damn, now I cant get my lamborgini sooner" whereas with the producer mindset you're like: "damn, i need to overcome this problem so I can help as many people as possible, damn problem, it's stopping me from helping people get what they want"

it's a crude contrast but i think that you have to BE the producer in your mind and not the consumer. That is what drives you, when you become obsessed with the business and serving the customer as best as you can. If you can't you'll find a way to. Being obsessed will get you unstuck, not obsessed with cars and houses and millions of dollars, but with helping your customer.

the obsession has to come from the desire to get your product into the customer's hands and help them. then you will form an unswerving determination that will get you unstuck.

 

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[Iammelissamoore]

BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT BACKWARDS...​

I've noticed a trend. People read the book, they get excited about all the things they want to HAVE, and then they come to this forum asking some version of "What's next?"

If you look deeper, you see that they are thinking in terms of: Have. Do. Be.

HAVE: They want to HAVE things. They want the car or the house or the pool or the fabulous vacations or the amazing partner or the bank account with a lot of zeros.

DO: Then they ask... What do I need to DO to HAVE all those things? Sell products on Amazon? Invent something? Create a sales funnel? Find a product on Alibaba? Crack the code? Get in the Fastlane? Find a Vehicle?

BE: Then, they say.... If I HAVE all those things by DOING the thing I'm going to do, THEN, I will BE happy... successful... amazing.... giving...

Sorry to break it too you, but that is exactly backwards.

If you are thinking this way, then you are CHASING MONEY. You are NOT creating value, and your desire for happiness will elude you.

What is the solution? FLIP IT ON ITS HEAD...

FIRST: BE

BE the person you want to be.

BE happy by deciding to be happy. It doesn't take the house or the pool or the vacation. It takes you choosing happiness, in that moment. BE an entrepreneur. It doesn't take owning a company you will be taking public next week, or launching a kickstarter campaign, or getting onto shark tank. Sure, those things may come... but that doesn't make you an entrepreneur.

BE an entrepreneur by deciding. Decide to wake up, each and every day and making a decision to RUN your business, or LEARN something that will improve your business, or TAKE the next step - even though it is hard.

BE a philanthropist or missionally oriented by looking at a homeless person in the eye, or taking in a foster child, or giving a loan on Kiva or volunteering for your favorite charity.

The list is endless. WHO do you WANT to be? WHO do you know you are... deep down? Forgiving? Understanding? Motivating? Strong? A leader? A generous person? A compassionate person? A happy person? A family person?

DON'T WAIT to be the person you are meant to be. DO IT NOW. The only thing holding you back is THE DECISION TO DO IT.

THEN: DO

Only when you know the person you ARE. Only when you are BEING the person you are, can you EFFECTIVELY DO.

When you ARE an entrepreneur, then you wake up every day and DO THE WORK of entrepreneurship. You make the calls, solve the problems, develop the systems.

When you ARE giving, you take the time to volunteer at the charity, or listen compassionately, or love deeply.

The act of DOING flows easily from the person you ARE.

The DOING will be creating VALUE, because you are not chasing the all might dollar. You understand that the dollar will come to you when you provide value.

FINALLY: YOU WILL HAVE

Having.... they money, the things, the cars. All these "things" will flow naturally out of your DOING. They will never come to you if you are chasing them with no other motivation or understanding. Or they may come to you temporarily, but they will leave you again soon enough - if you haven't build the foundation you need.

I can safely say, beyond being stuck, it was the reason why I failed and failed and failed. You know that saying about "watch your thoughts for they become words, watch your words for they become actions"? As MJ says, instead of saying - I will or I want to be, we have to believe we already are, because then the mindset becomes our reality.

When I used to read success stories from other people, I always wanted to know the how, and while that isn't a bad thing, I recognised that I needed the hand-holding-step-by-step before I took any actions, because of my fear to leap and my fear to fail.

To date, though I have faced many failures, I can say it is because I have acted AND failed that I have learnt some of life's most valuable lessons and I see how important it is to just do and make things happen.

I completed Unscripted about 3 weeks ago and I have already began applying the principles directly to my business, I'm just doing it and enjoying the journey along the way, sure it ain't some easy walk in the park, but this matters to me, I am an entrepreneur and I am proud of my progress.

Thanks for your post.