I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept mediocrity

[Runum]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

Welcome to adult hood. For most of your early life you have people that tell you what to do, when to be where, what to read, what to study, and what to eat. Then you graduate and they shake your hand and wish you well. I think you need to step back from your grand plans and start just with you.

You probably need to get a job so that you can bring in money without putting a lot of thought into it. Then you need to focus just on you. Find out your desires and dreams. Find out your gifts and deficits. You need to learn self discipline. You will not succeed in the future if you do not get self discipline now. I used the bad things in my life to motivate me and some movie roll models(Clint Eastwood) to develop the self discipline I needed. I had to do it that way because I had no male role model. I became a strong, silent guy that was like a steam roller. Worked like a mad man to get what I wanted. You may need to go into martial arts or some other method of training to help you.

You also sound like a kid in a candy store. You are looking at the flavor of the month in business. All vehicles have advantages and disadvantages. You have been reading and experiencing a few of them so now you are better equipped to make some decisions in the future.

You are going to have to get your mind and core values straight. You are going to have to get things in writing. As JScott said, start with small stuff and develop the discipline to see it through no matter what. Celebrate your victories and learn from your losses. You can't do it all in one day, this will take time. Take it one day at a time.

I can tell you that you are spending your time on the internet because it's comfortable and safe. Commit yourself to spending only 1 hour a day on it and the rest on you. I need to do the same thing. I need to get off my butt and get some things done.

Ryan you have a passion and energy I wish I had, but you have got to get ahold of you. If you don't do it now, you will not have and maintain the success you desire in the future.

I wish you well.:cheers:

 

[PaulRobert]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

I can't make up my mind on my fastlane vehicle(s), I'm incredibly overloaded with information that I can't make sense of. I'm so lost. It's rather pathetic that I'm going to quit before I ever really start.

I have no guidance, no support system, no idea where I'm headed, no idea what I'm doing. There are no rules, no one to be accountable to but myself, and that's no motivator. I'm starting to lose faith in myself.


And just as always, I'm making excuses. I'm so pissed at myself, I get this far, and for what? to quit.

In a sense, this a plea for help/guidance. I just need to know where to start. The little bit of control that I had I seem to have found in my life seems to be slipping away again.

This seems to become a pattern. I build up the motivation and the drive, I have nothing to be accountable for, and I get overloaded or quit, and watch it slip away. I skipped 4 out of 5 of my first classes already this semester in the last two days.

Well Ryan, I was going through something similar like this 2 years ago.I found this forum 2 years ago and I wanted to get in the Fastlane. I knew nothing, I was arrogant, I was obnoxious. I was forcing myself to do things, in hopes to make it big. It was not something I was passionate about and my results were 0. While this story can go on and on. I will shorten it and say that what you are doing now is testing out new waters. You are searching for the path that is fit for you and your interests. As Greg (Runum) has stated above, since you have already commited to something, you cannot just bail on it. I hated school 2 years ago, all I wanted to do was come up with an idea and just do it. Well, it didnt turn out that way. As my mother told me multiple times. "Dont Force It! Your Idea Will Come to You." My mother was right and my idea did come to me, it came almost 2 years later but I was prepared for it. I also think that you should finish this year, do your best and build up a habit to work harder. Even though I am going through with my product, my grades aren't suffering. They are actually at an all time high. (No gloating intended.) I have created a balance in my life, where I can set my school goals and my personal goals apart and work on them with stellar performance.

One more thing- Take a day off, when you actually can. On a weekend lets say, and seperate yourself from the outside world. Find a spot in nature, it could be a park, it could be a forest, but spend an day there in complete silence. Just Think. Think about your goals, your ideas and probems. Nature is a great way to get away from it all and create a fresh start for yourself.

 

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[Rem]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

This is a great thread. Love watching the process. :smxB:

I know this may sound strange and I am not a millionaire but I do know what success is and have been successful at many things in my life. But success isn't really a moment in time. It's not like one day you wake up and you are now successful.

Let's talk about sports. I played sports a lot and was very successful at it. I didn't wake up one day and I was successful. It may appear that way because maybe we finally beat a team or made it to the playoffs. If it wasn't for all the little things you did all season long then you would not have won the big game.

It's running your a$$ off when you didn't want to.
It's practicing in the rain even when you wished it was sunny.
It's eating right and going to bed early all year.
It's working out at the gym when your friends are off at the mall chasing chicks.
It's doing all the extra hard work that makes you successful.

What is happening Ryan is you are focusing on big goals which is good. But you are sort of losing focus on the road map. You are looking at winning the big game but not focusing on all the little things you need to do. There are many ways to get to where you need to be. None of them really look pretty. So your brain is sorting it all out. It gets overwhelming. But you aren't really completely lost.

What you need to do is say ok what can I do RIGHT NOW to get me closer to my goal. What can I do RIGHT NOW that will increase my chances of being successful. The athlete will reach for the apple and not the brownie RIGHT NOW when he is hungry. Is he successful? No. But he is becoming successful. It's the process. Instead of sitting down and surfing the internet for the next hour. Grab those dusty old running shoes and go for a jog. Is the athlete now successful because he jogged once? No. But he is following the path to success.

When people say step back... It means don't focus on the big picture right now. Use the big picture as bait. But write a list of all the things you can do RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT to get you closer.

For instance -

1) Finish School so I have a degree under my belt. Although you may not need it to succeed you will be better off having it than not and will some day possibly open a door for you. It's a tool, or a key, that could lead you a certain way. Don't shut doors but open them.

2) Read more books in between classes and semesters. Learn more about running a business, being successful, etc.

3) Learn more about who you are. What are your strengths? Where do your weaknesses lie? Can you improve on those or will you need to outsource those at some point in your life.

4) NETWORK. One of the biggies. Start contacting people now. Get to know as many people as you can. Meet successful people. Just like on this forum. Just build relationships.

5) Workout and eat healthy. All for the obvious reasons.

Sitting home and thinking will only lead to more sitting at home and thinking. Just focus on what is happening now in your life and always make it better. Slowly raise your standards. Each month... each year... improve... With this mentality you will be successful because you are living successfully and not just waiting for the event to happen.

Condition your mind and your body and live as if you are already successful.

:smxF:

My goal for last year was to live as if I already reached my financial goals. It was difficult because I couldn't buy the big house just because I pretended. We still had 5 years before we could afford. I close on our new house Tuesday. How on earth did that happen? It wasn't so much that I made drastic changes in my life and it's not that I am a millionaire now. There were many parts of my life, including mostly my attitude where I acted as if I had already achieved my goals. For some reason it all seemed to fall into place and this week I am moving into a home that is twice the square feet. I have no idea why or how but we had the money and we made it work. We didn't get discouraged and in fact I got a lot of help from people on this forum. Was it because of just me? I surrounded myself with successful people which is part of the process and I was able to obtain information that was crucial to me and my family succeeding in getting that home.

Am I now successful? No not really. But I need to step up my standards, as Tony Robbins would say, and continue to live successfully. It's all the small things that add up.

So Ryan, I would suggest pulling back from the larger picture and worry on making just small simple goals that will improve your life today. Don't make drastic changes like quit school, or buy a business or burn your house or whatever. Just continue your path and look for small areas. You will be amazed. You may say but I want big changes. And all I say is, that big changes may happen if you force them but if you aren't conditioned it will be for the worst.

It's like going to that big game and not having practiced or worked out or eaten right all season. You will have big changes but you will lose the game. The big changes happen when you improve on your small things. It will happen. give it time.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

OMG I hate lamborghinis!

So, I'm in the process of watching the Tony Robbins video that John posted, and he was talking about having goals that should excite you and that you would have that burning desire to pursue. I stopped the video to ponder what he was saying and I realised that one of my biggest and most costly goals was a lamborghini/ferrari...and it hit me that I don't care about either one of those!

Delving into my feelings deeper, I noticed that I pretty much hate all cars. Why? Because I find them restricting, and impossibly hard to maneuver around traffic.

Even I didn't expect what happened next... I LOVE motorcycles. The freedom, the maneuverability, the vulnerability... having your girlfriend squeeze you just a little bit tighter around the waist when you accelerate...priceless.

So here I am, absolutely shocked that I am 1000000000000000x (infinitely) more excited about having the goal of owning a $10,000 motorcycle, compared to a $300,000 car. That's just crazy!

I have yet to think of a viable reason for why I would want to own an expensive car, and I doubt I will...and it feels great!!!!!!

So now I can put aside that huge hurdle, as owning a luxury car does not even get me close to excited. In fact I couldn't care less.

I've never taken time for myself like this, just to think about what I WANT out of MY life. I've always thought I wanted extremely expensive things, but as it turns out, that's not who I am... (I seriously can't believe it, and I can't convey how good this feels)

These are the things that get me truly excited;

-Reading good books
-Spending quality time with friends
-Spending quality time with girlfriends (I'm not a player...I just don't have one at the moment lol)
-Exercise: Parkour, Martial Arts, Tricking
-Poker
-Motorcycles
-SeaDoos
-Ariel Atom (Legal street race car...$50K)
-Dancing silly and singing terribly to music (Ie I like to make people laugh)
-Watching cool/inspiring movies
-Being out in nature (I went hiking with friends in the summer time...had soooo much fun and yet haven't done it since, even though there was a few more months without snow)
-Walking/playing on the beach

I realized also that the prospect of a huge house or penthouse doesn't really excite me. If I live in a house that's less than 1000 sq. ft. I'd truly be just as happy. I don't want to spend my time indoors anyway, I want to live and experience all that I can.

This is really awesome, as the things that truly get me excited (that I posted above) don't actually cost that much money. Whereas my old "goal" (that had little thought put into it) was $15,000,000 in assets to put into passive income, I realize that to TRULY be happy, I won't need even 1/2 of that! Probably not even 1/4!

So what I'm saying is, my new "sum" goal is going to be so much less daunting and more attainable faster.

Of course, once I do reach my goal (tentative at 3M,,,but I really need to think about it), I will still grow my money to the point where I can afford the lambos and the huge houses...but I'll already be as happy as I can be, so those toys will just be added bonuses.

This is truly awesome craziness that has just transpired.

Back to Tony

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Dude you're complaining about mediocrity when you're traveling around the world for reasons other than a business trip. You need to bootstrap and get to work bro.

THIS. THREAD. WAS. STARTED. THREE. YEARS. AGO. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY OF THESE FEELINGS.

What is so hard to understand?

I'm fulfilling a dream, and doing exactly what I want to be doing.

Networth is once again hovering around the $100k mark. Appears I'm doing fine, thanks.

The hell I need to bootstrap anything? I've got a profitable business that is allowing me to quit my job and travel.

Get to work? lol, I work 80-100 hours a week.

What's mediocre about seeing the entire planet and experiencing new things and different cultures? The only thing mediocre here is your mind, and it's complete inability to understand that when someone posts something 3 years ago, they probably have done something about it since then.

Can't stand this forum anymore.

See everyone at b&p where the real discussion is, but I have no interest pandering to every tom, dick and harry that joins the forum and starts posting nonsense like 90% of the threads here now.

I understand now why many senior members have long since departed.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Closed.

 

[Jonleehacker]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

I HIGHLY recommend taking a look at Tony Robbins latest video

New Year, New Life-Don’t be trapped by the calendar. Create the life you want right now. Here’s where to start.

Perfect for what you are going through, as he deals with the real issues underneath lack of motivation and success.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Every time I seem to motivate myself, it dies a few days later.
Every time I set goals, I change them a few days later.

I can't decide on what I want, I make so many plans and nothing ever happens. I've finally taken action a few times, and in each instance I attack too aggressively and end up way over my head.

I no longer know what to read. And when I do choose something I can barely focus because I'm thinking about the next thing I'm going to read.

I can't make up my mind on my fastlane vehicle(s), I'm incredibly overloaded with information that I can't make sense of. I'm so lost. It's rather pathetic that I'm going to quit before I ever really start.

I have no guidance, no support system, no idea where I'm headed, no idea what I'm doing. There are no rules, no one to be accountable to but myself, and that's no motivator. I'm starting to lose faith in myself.

Sure, I got rid of TV, but I've just replaced it with the computer. I lose track of time and spend entire days, just reading and doing nothing online.

And just as always, I'm making excuses. I'm so pissed at myself, I get this far, and for what? to quit.

In a sense, this a plea for help/guidance. I just need to know where to start. The little bit of control that I had I seem to have found in my life seems to be slipping away again.

This seems to become a pattern. I build up the motivation and the drive, I have nothing to be accountable for, and I get overloaded or quit, and watch it slip away. I skipped 4 out of 5 of my first classes already this semester in the last two days.

Life is kinda' falling apart again, and I don't know what to do.

Maybe the problem is that I should be a slowlane person with a job and blindly following other people's orders? It seems it could be better, considering I can't even follow my own. I just always thought I belonged in the fastlane... I'm not so sure anymore. But at the same time I'm not sure of anything.

I'm sorry to all who's time I've wasted when they gave me advice/suggestions etc. It truly was a waste. I'm not even so sure that I'll follow through with the advice that you'll offer me now. I'm just being honest.

Ryan

 

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[maximus20895]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

There are alot of posts that come from you that reminds me of me currently. This is one of them.

 

[Runum]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

A couple of more points.

One of the things you need to do as you grow up is learn to honor your commitments to yourself and others. IMHO you made a commitment to the college to attend classes. someone paid for those classes. You need to get yourself in that seat and finish those classes. You may not want to take any more classes after those. It would be a first step toward self discipline, doing something even when you don't want to. You will do a lot of that when you are developing businesses.

The second thing is to learn yourself. Instead of saying yes to everything, learn what you like and don't like. Learn what you will and won't do. Do not agree to to something you won't do. Do not make promises you won't keep. And, this was tough for me, learn the difference between something that sounds like something you would do and something you would absolutely do. I have learned to listen to but not do those things that sound good but I really wouldn't do them.

Just more of my .02 cents. Good luck.:cheers:

 

[Gymjunkie]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

I feel like this all the time as well. I have tried a few different things with varied success, but always feel that they weren't the right one.

Did wholesaling properties, but found it wasn't the path I thought it would be.
Did / doing affiliate marketing, but have only had small success.

At least I am learning something from each one that I will be able to use later.

Here is what I find interesting: A lot of us on this forum are in the same exact boat. I have seen numerous people post in this thread alone "I have the same problem".

This makes me feel that there is an opportunity even if I don't know what it is yet. Is there something we can do to help each other get out of this stage and get closer to success?

I think the best thing is to stop mental masturbation (constant learning of new things, reading tons of blogs or books, non-stop thinking and planing). Just go and make the first step, doesn't matter if it's in the right direction or wrong (whether you succeed or not). Like you said, you had a few tries but they didn't go as you want, still, you got what you need - you learned something useful!

This post is for everyone!

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

"Eagle": Unlike you, I respect women.

They are people, not objects.

 

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[liv42dy]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

Good Grief! This thread started out so good then turned into something children should never have to read. I hope my post will raise the intellectual plane a bit....

Ryan: You're lucky to have received so many responses to your plea. If it would have been someone my age posting a thread like this it would have been ignored! Clearly there are people who can relate to what you're going through and can sympathize with your situation. I know it's easier for you to reach out to people in the cyber world than in the real one, but eventually you're going to have to get out into the real world and engage with people who are living the kind of life you want to live.

But before you do that, there's something I want to do for you....

I'm a lot like you in the sense that I seem to jump from idea to idea, job to job. I get bored easily and am always looking for something that will challenge me intellectually, physically and spiritually. After I would work at a job for three months I would get bored and start looking for new challenges - the next BIG thing! I new that if I kept challenging myself this way that eventually, one day, I would be worthy... worthy of having money, a family, a rich and successful life.

Remembering what I have read about you and your past, I'm guessing that proving yourself to be worthy is a big reason why you are on this quest. To quote T. Harv Eker from Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, "In the end it doesn't matter whether you feel worthy or not, you can be rich either way. Plenty of wealthy people don't feel overly worthy. In fact, it's one of the major motivations for people to get rich... to prove themselves and their worth to themselves or to others. The idea that self-worth is necessary for net worth is just that, an idea, but it doesn't necessarily hold water in the real world.... Getting rich to prove yourself may not make you the happiest camper, so you're better off creating wealth for other reasons."

So here's what I'm going to do for you: I am going to release you of the burdens you've been carrying and HEREBY ANOINT YOU AS 'WORTHY' FROM NOW UNTIL FOREVER MORE. There, you no longer have to prove yourself to anyone. And now that you no longer have to prove yourself, the path to a rich life should become clearer to you now. Your focus will improve and your goals will become more tangible.

And I also agree that finding out what your personality type is will be helpful. Here's a couple of sites: Personality Test - Keirsey Temperament Website and Welcome to Personality Type! (this test is a lot shorter).

All the best for you, Ryan! Hang in there. :smx9:

 

[Rawr]

I feel like I can comment on this as I've faced this very same issue, and had done some research and REAL LIFE ACTION to figure it out.


Here are .02, take with slight grain of celery salt:


1. You problem, as you can see, is not unique. AT ALL. This problem stems from too much freedom - too many things we can (or think we can) be or do. Looking at the celebs, sportstars, reading about successful people - your identity is getting washed away, because "which one of these is better than others to be?" - realize, you aren't ANY of them.

The only solution is ACTION. I know it's scary, I know you might not want to hear it, I know you might not even know where to start, it doesn't matter - you will still be right here in this mess until you ACT. Action is merging ideas with reality. Without action, you are just hallucinating.


When you act, you start a vector - you have a direction and some speed. IT DOESN'T MUCH MATTER where you are going if you can't pick any direction at all, any is good, but know that you will change directions many many many many many times and do different things.


Your identity - you are not "the master of universe" or any of that BS. you are who people see when you look in the mirror - they also see side of your face and everything else, and most importantly YOUR ACTIONS. You might BS yourself with bad logic into not making decisions and saying it's ok - but how you treat others and how you ACT with them is directly implicit on what they think of you, which takes me to a very good point eagle made:

Getting laid, and/or having a steady girlfriends is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT factor for a reality check. Here is how:

I started dating a girl, no matter what I thought of myself or how cool I was, I had to merge my Actions with HER life. meaning, if, for example, I didn't have a car - I can't sweet talk my way out of "uh, i can't come over. can you come over pick me up?"

I don't have a money to go out - would the guy she wants to date be able to take her out once in awhile?

i don't have a cell phone because I can't afford it - would she want a guy to be able to reach her/be reachable?


do you see it? Start putting "would this person want to be with a person who DOES (not THINKS he does) x y z." and you will see the truth in reality, and you will be able to know what to do next.

and, exactly right - it's the small fixes and steps in the right direction

how is telling a girl "I will be a rap star" someday does anything for me not having a car to pick her up RIGHT NOW? Nothing, exactly. and if the girl is smart (and I love smart girls) she will see through bullshit right away. And that's why they say you must have "substance"



So, to recap:

small goals - to learn discipline, keeping your word (to yourself as well), celebrating success

identity - looking at yourself through eyes of others and judging yourself on ACTIONS.

clear vision of reality - you are just another grain in this world of other grains. You are not special or unique, learn to consider others and what your ACTIONS can do for them to provide value. Good things sometimes take a lot of time and work. Yes, good old work, doing stuff you might not want to do to get to where you want to be.

Welcome to adulthood

good luck




Last thing to consider reading before just taking boring action from now on till forever:

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/02/my_fiancee_is_pushing_me_away.html

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Ryan,

I noticed that this thread was over 2 years old, and was just wondering how things are going for you now.

I wish other people were capable of noticing as well

Frankly, I reckon there's a breakdown thread started by me once every few months... the threads probably number in the dozens.

Honestly, rereading the original post, not much has changed. Most of it is naive rambling.

Although there have been definite improvements and some setbacks as well.

 

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[Laverdure]

Every time I seem to motivate myself, it dies a few days later.
Every time I set goals, I change them a few days later.

I can't decide on what I want, I make so many plans and nothing ever happens. I've finally taken action a few times, and in each instance I attack too aggressively and end up way over my head.

I no longer know what to read. And when I do choose something I can barely focus because I'm thinking about the next thing I'm going to read.

I can't make up my mind on my fastlane vehicle(s), I'm incredibly overloaded with information that I can't make sense of. I'm so lost. It's rather pathetic that I'm going to quit before I ever really start.

I have no guidance, no support system, no idea where I'm headed, no idea what I'm doing. There are no rules, no one to be accountable to but myself, and that's no motivator. I'm starting to lose faith in myself.

Sure, I got rid of TV, but I've just replaced it with the computer. I lose track of time and spend entire days, just reading and doing nothing online.

And just as always, I'm making excuses. I'm so pissed at myself, I get this far, and for what? to quit.

In a sense, this a plea for help/guidance. I just need to know where to start. The little bit of control that I had I seem to have found in my life seems to be slipping away again.

This seems to become a pattern. I build up the motivation and the drive, I have nothing to be accountable for, and I get overloaded or quit, and watch it slip away. I skipped 4 out of 5 of my first classes already this semester in the last two days.

Life is kinda' falling apart again, and I don't know what to do.

Maybe the problem is that I should be a slowlane person with a job and blindly following other people's orders? It seems it could be better, considering I can't even follow my own. I just always thought I belonged in the fastlane... I'm not so sure anymore. But at the same time I'm not sure of anything.

I'm sorry to all who's time I've wasted when they gave me advice/suggestions etc. It truly was a waste. I'm not even so sure that I'll follow through with the advice that you'll offer me now. I'm just being honest.

Ryan

In my opinion you want to go to fast. You want it bad but you want it right now so what you are doing is just going from one idea and switching to another one because you think it's a better one then you find a reason why this one won't work and then you still switch and you don't make any progress.

I have been in this situation earlier and I talked a lot with a forum member who has helped me a lot with this problem.

I'm about the same year of age of you (I'm 20) and I wanted to go way too fast and become rich tomorrow.
I was taking 0 action and nothing was progressing and I was like OMG ... maybe I'M not a fastlaner...

I figured out with this member that my mind set was wrong and I had to change it and just go through the process.
There is a quote that says : “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.â€

Now what I did to get out of it and you shouldn't give up, yes it might be rough and tough but that's the part of the game and from that you should ask yourself : why are other people doing good and why I'm not? you might be doing something wrong for sure because these guys of acheive sucess has a brain like you but their mind set and belief are differents.

First of all I recommand you to watch this 40 minutes video (worth gold IMO and it's with Anthony Robbins, Frank Kern and John Reese. If you don't know these guys yet let me tell you that you can models these guys ) In this video they explain why some people are succesfull while many others aren't.

Second, stop being in a hurry man you are F*cking young you need to learn all the stuff by taking action, going through the process of doing the things and stop switching from one to another.

Third, Focus on one thing and belief in it.

fourth, find something you want to do and take the time you need to and do it just do it and keep trying until you succeed. If you fail ... who cares ? you learn so much from failure.

This is just my opinion ... if you stop believing in you the potential will be lower then your action will be low then your result will be crap and your belief will change again because this shit isn't working ...

I started doing the process 1 month ago and now I have my own website ... I have many videos of products reviews from my market ... I'm building a list of client with AWeber ... etc It took me 1 month to do this web site : Entrainement De Hockey | Améliorez votre hockey en suivant nos entrainements de hockey. (all alone) and just by doing and taking action now I can make the same damn website in about a day or two maximum (text, website design, menu bar ... etc.)

So please don't stop like all those people who stop believing in them self because it is not easy or it is not working yet.

Here is the video : Tony Robbins, Frank Kern and John Reese on the Most Important Skill of Achievers. - YouTube (good stuff start at like 4 minutes) best video on youtube IMO.

GL

Chris.

 

[RogueInnovation]

Every time I seem to motivate myself, it dies a few days later.

This is normal, it takes months of this stuff until you accumulate a more substantial motivation from the broken pieces.

Every time I set goals, I change them a few days later.

This is where the boat metaphor Steve Jobs mentioned comes in, you are constantly course correcting and you feel like you are sinking because every day you have doubts and difficulties. Hopefully after enough course corrections you will find some solid and simple goals.

I can't decide on what I want, I make so many plans and nothing ever happens. I've finally taken action a few times, and in each instance I attack too aggressively and end up way over my head.

It gets better over time. You become better at recognising opportunities that suit you rather than bending and running and jumping to suit them.

I no longer know what to read. And when I do choose something I can barely focus because I'm thinking about the next thing I'm going to read.

Often we skim read to "overlook" details that would otherwise overwhelm us. Try reading one sentence and then take a break and bring some of your own knowledge and experience to the table, then discuss the points, and digest what you just learnt. It helps develop a more stable work ethic.

I can't make up my mind on my fastlane vehicle(s), I'm incredibly overloaded with information that I can't make sense of. I'm so lost. It's rather pathetic that I'm going to quit before I ever really start.

It isn't pathetic at all, everyone feels that pressure, and it usually subsides a few days later.
Biz isn't THAT hard, Elon Musk says that the key to speed is to allow a gestation period for ideas, and to have them working in parallel rather than in a series, that way they all start clicking together when they are ready.

I have no guidance, no support system, no idea where I'm headed, no idea what I'm doing. There are no rules, no one to be accountable to but myself, and that's no motivator. I'm starting to lose faith in myself.

Accountability is the hardest one there. You have to find a way to integrate what you are doing into who you want to be. That way, every time you succeed you get better at fulfilling the potential you know deep down you have.

Sure, I got rid of TV, but I've just replaced it with the computer. I lose track of time and spend entire days, just reading and doing nothing online.

It is important to have rest periods, if you want to tighten this up you can. I have a biz plan open, I have a few videos ready to chill out to, and a few sites to check and some music. Everyday I chill out, but I also am aware of a couple deadlines I want to reach for the week. I constantly check myself but I also constantly make sure I am fresh and well rested. Just take that few days system and work it so that it is all within one day. Work, rest and play

And just as always, I'm making excuses. I'm so pissed at myself, I get this far, and for what? to quit.

Yeah, thats a bitch, but you always keep long term skills like biz. And making excuses really is part of the process, you just learn to make a few less over time.

In a sense, this a plea for help/guidance. I just need to know where to start. The little bit of control that I had I seem to have found in my life seems to be slipping away again.

This seems to become a pattern. I build up the motivation and the drive, I have nothing to be accountable for, and I get overloaded or quit, and watch it slip away. I skipped 4 out of 5 of my first classes already this semester in the last two days.

It is a plea for "make this faster and easier". Sorry dude but chewing on glass and staring at the abyss is really part of it. Sometimes tedious shit haunts you, but you can learn to get over it.

Life is kinda' falling apart again, and I don't know what to do.

Maybe the problem is that I should be a slowlane person with a job and blindly following other people's orders?

HA! Man, you would HATE that.
Better to hustle and figure stuff out on the move.

It seems it could be better, considering I can't even follow my own. I just always thought I belonged in the fastlane... I'm not so sure anymore. But at the same time I'm not sure of anything.

I'm sorry to all who's time I've wasted when they gave me advice/suggestions etc. It truly was a waste. I'm not even so sure that I'll follow through with the advice that you'll offer me now. I'm just being honest.

Usually you'll get a second wind if you hang on.
Don't stress, you can always get onto stuff when you feel better.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Operating a business with decent cash flow. Nothing phenomenal, but enough that I'm able to quit my job and start travelling internationally without really having to worry.

Acquired some exceptional mentors over time, one of whom recently passed away unfortunately.

All in all, life is pretty good. Can't complain.

When the only things bothering me right now are the fact that the Cardinals suck and that it's a pain in the a$$ trying to get visas to travel to certain countries, I figure I'm doing quite well compared to where I've been haha.

 

[stranger]

I now understand why somebody is In Reverse here.

 

[CMCarlin]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

Don't lose faith. You need to stick to SOMETHING. I am very much like you in that I can lose motivation quickly and spend a lot of time reading and thinking.

No one idea will ever be perfect. There will always be flaws. Could it be the negative voices in your head telling you can't do it, that you're going to fail? I only ask because that's what happens to a lot of people I think. Pay attention to your 'self-talk'.

But back to my point, just go out and do something. You know, going out and having a job at this point in your life isn't necessarily a bad thing either, if all you do now is waste time. It can teach you to be more discipled and realize even more that it is something that you DON'T want to do for the next 50 years.

Another reason is because you may be too comfortable at this point. Get uncomfortable. Get away from creature comforts. Make it so you HAVE to provide an income in one or or another.

As I said no idea will ever be perfect and you can't think of the negatives if you really want to succeed. That and expect the work. Expect to hustle. Don't shy away from rolling up your sleeves.

Get through it man, everyone goes through down spots. Just today I didn't get SQUAT done and spent a lot of my time reading, but the whole family has come down with the flew and I slept like crap last night and I'm not exactly up to par. Am I fine with that? No, not really. That's what will keep me motivated to push forward. Maybe this is your way to push forward to, by beating yourself up a little bit. The problem here is your not focusing on one thing. By bouncing around your starting over all the time. Pick one thing and don't let your lack of motivation steer you away. Do what you have to do to get through it and when you feel better, get back to work.

Not sure what else to tell you, but a lot of this is mental and at least you want more in life than most people, which is a start. Now you just have to stop being your own biggest enemy and get to work.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

I guess I'm in one of those teenage identity crisis episodes.

I can't focus because I don't know what I want to focus on.

My life is basically;

Wake up
Go to school if I feel like it (I only have class 3 days per week)
Usually just sit in front of the computer from sunrise to sunset
Eat weird combinations of food at all hours of the day
Sleep whenever the hell I feel like it (which sometimes is only the next night)

I'm sort of just rotting away on this chair, I'm sitting with horrendous posture, I cleaned the entire house yesterday and I've already dumped my stuff everywhere so it looks just the same as it did before I cleaned.

I should have been sleeping 2-3 hours ago, but as usual my mother isn't home, so no one here but me to try and figure it all out. Again excuses. The weak make excuses. I'm weak.

I hate being so honest, but at this point I have nothing to hide.

 

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[maximus20895]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

That's exactly me too so I completely understand. We should be business partners!!!!

 

[DeletedUser394]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

That's exactly me too so I completely understand. We should be business partners!!!!

That would be the worst possible thing for us to do.

What I'm trying to get at, is that my life is out of control, I don't know how to get it back. The last thing I want to do, even remotely care about, is business.

 

[maximus20895]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

So why are you trying to focus so much of your time and effort in it? What do you think you need to focus on?

 

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[Halli]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

Ryan I know what you are going through.I've been there and kind of still am.I agree with JScott,small goals are the right thing to do when starting.Pick something that you think you could start easily and focus on that.The rest of the projects aren't going anywhere.And give yourself only around 2 hours a day on that project that you are focusing on.I think 2 hours should be good for now.No more,no less.Watch this video.He even mentions that using fewer hours is better.I watch it every now and then to remind me that things don't have to be massive and complicated David Heinemeier Hansson at Startup School 08 | Omnisio

 

[Gymjunkie]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

If you are going through identity crisis then I strongly suggest you go and learn your personality type and learn anything you can about it! I did that the last few days, I was feeling crappy so I did that. I read the description and it was so very true, it does give you some security and self-knowledge. You can use it for your future plans. I think they are called Meyerrs-Briggs test or something like that.

 

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[Rem]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

Actually this is sort of good. I mean it's bad that your mind is racing but you are now prepared so when something comes along and you all of a sudden say YES THIS IS IT... you will be so pumped and fired and you will force yourself to focus to execute. Right now your mind is going through a filtering process. Let it keep going. It's going through all your options. It's like letting your computer run. Don't fight it. Allow this process to occur for a while. Relax. Just say to yourself... you will let your brain go through this process for several weeks.

In the meantime sit down where it is quiet. No books, no computers, no tv, and just you and a pad of paper. Do not write on the paper for at least 30 minutes. Just have it by your side.

Then envision where you are and what you have done. Then envision where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years etc. Don't write it down yet. Envision not just where you want to be financially but who do you want to be as a person. How do you envision you will be interacting with your friends and family. What do wish to accomplish in the long term. Remember your job and investments are just tools to get you to where you want to be in life. Don't get trapped into this thing where your job is your life and make sure you love what you do because you are going to be doing this for the rest of your life bologna.

Now that you have envisioned yourself, pick up that pad of paper and write down those qualities. Maybe you have a big house, or a beach home and you are financially stable and you are taking care of family. Maybe you have a girlfriend or married. Write down what it is you want.

Then put your paper away.

Do the same thing the next day... this time adding any new qualities to your life.

Spend a week doing this. There is no hurry. It's only one week.

Let me know when you're done and we'll proceed. haha

 

[Icy]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

Runum, very good post! I thoroughly enjoyed reading that.

One thing I want to say is to set a small limit\goal on an activity that you want to do today. I've (only just) started to try this with writing a book and setting a minimum of writing 500 words for it a day. This has been something that I've considered doing for a while but until I had an end point for the day the task seemed way too big to tackle. Setting a point I can stop (and honestly 500 words isn't that much) makes the task seem very do-able and over time this small goal turns into something big.

Try it with anything, even if you don't see it as something that'll be profitable. Right now before you pursue anything to bring in money you need to get it out of your head that you stop on anything after a week. This will help you progress into that!

 

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[TC2]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

This is how I got myself out of my own mess whenever I felt I got lost.

I spend at least once a month to do charity works and help those poor people who can't help themselves or those people who choose not to help themselves.

It constantly reminds me that I don't want to live like them.

Life is always up and down. It's your mind that tells you which one you are going. Set your mind straight. You don't want to live the low life.

PS. Guess what, I just bought the Rich Dad and Poor Dad book last night. I felt that I am just a 9 year old boy who want to start from scratch. I am start reading lesson 1. So can you!

 

[Rem]

Re: I don't know what to do anymore.. should I just accept medioc

One more thing- Take a day off, when you actually can. On a weekend lets say, and seperate yourself from the outside world. Find a spot in nature, it could be a park, it could be a forest, but spend an day there in complete silence. Just Think. Think about your goals, your ideas and probems. Nature is great way to get away from it all and create a fresh start for yourself.

++SPEEED

You will be amazed at how clearer your mind comes if you spend time in nature. It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind. Heck I still do from time to time. I have to step back a bit, go for a nice long walk in the woods, maybe find a rock to sit on that overlooks a nice view maybe.