Got rejected by a girl today...

[aa610]

Join a sports team, hiking club, something team-oriented or task-oriented (accomplishing a goal together -like community centered). It's a great way to meet people, no pressure & allows you to get to know someone without them feeling creeped on.

Bingo.

 

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[aa610]

yo i totally thumbs this up, MOST women really do not know what they want. i got my dating advice from a girl on how to get girls, and i crashed and burned when i used it.

what they say they want consciously, due to social pressure and society, is not what they sometimes really want subconsiously.

so true. in all aspects of life. Don't know what we want. at least those I know do not.

 

[Unknown]

Every time I read a thread about dating I'm glad that I met my wife in college.

 

[FLYmk]

"What's up ...?" "How's it going today ...?" "How's the weather up there ..." "Hi."

Seriously ...?

What ... do I look like your personal entertainment committee ...?

Seriously ... if you are going to text me ... you had best have something interesting to say.

I just ignore them.

At first I doubted girls would initiate conversations with me that way...and then, multiple proved it's not just males who are boring, non-conversational wastes of time. And being the nice guy that I am I told myself I would at least respond. Well, then reality set in - the only thing I could think would be worth saying is "Sorry, had I thought you actually read my profile that I put EFFORT in writing, I might give you a normal response...but I highly recommend working on your communication. If you think I'm going to be the least interested in conversing when you said 'Hey what's up' lacking originality AND grammar, you're in for a surprise."

// End Rant.

 

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[Lathan]

When creating a profile on a dating site ... ask a woman to write your profile for you.

I love writing online dating profiles

I smell opportunity for any of the ladies out there!

Oh, and regarding the whole "women don't know what they want" thing.. Some do, some don't. Same with men. The problem arises whenever someone knows what they want but LIE about it to be more socially accepted.

Example:
Person: "What kind of guy are you looking for?"
Woman: "Oh you know.. I just want a good looking, charming guy with a good head on his shoulders. Someone who knows what they want. Someone who is sweet and caring. (typical response)"

Next thing you know, that same woman is dating some douchebag who is the exact opposite of what she described. So in a way, it does make you lose respect for that individual.

Same goes for a guy who says "I want a real woman.. someone who's got my back, supports me in what I do, isn't stuck up, yada yada yada..you get the point" and then goes off and dates some trashy tramp from around the corner.

I think that's what the @borntodominate and whoever else may have been referring to. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong! People can do whatever the hell they want to do.. All I'm saying is.. don't act like you're all prim and proper and then get caught being sleazy. That goes for both women, and men.

 

[Ninjakid]

And it made me realize something, there are rules to how things work. Chasing just doesn't work. Also came to the conclusion most of the content I produce is not up to par and its merely 'chasing money'

Funny how things work.

This is like one of those vague facebook statuses that hints disappointment. Usually used by teenage girls.

 

[Ninjakid]

for F*cks sake stop reading pua websites.

"Every girl is a slut and with this secret technique, you can take any girl home with you regardless of her age, martial status, or cultural background. I can prove it, I used to not get girls but now I get laid like all the time!" -Basically every pua website.
These sites are about as useful as two-dad guru's investment strategies, and will return similar results.

 

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[Digamma]

"Every girl is a slut and with this secret technique, you can take any girl home with you regardless of her age, martial status, or cultural background. I can prove it, I used to not get girls but now I get laid like all the time!" -Basically every pua website.
These sites are about as useful as two-dad guru's investment strategies, and will return similar results.

Oh, well, there is a lot of good advice in the pua community. Then, there is a lot of awful advice that will instill a toxic mindset in anybody who takes it seriously. And the inexperienced man cannot possibly distinguish the two.

 

[Luffy]

Last summer I got rejected 9 times by different women, not landing a single phone number but you know what? I killed my approach anxiety then.

 

[Durete]

Heh, good startup thread ran totally troll.


Anyways, if dating is like marketing....I'm going to be totally useless!

(Never had a gf in my life(in fact, I've never had a date in my life) I'm a musician, world traveler, athlete and soon to be business owner..
Friends usually describe me as: Charismatic, funny, confident
So on paper I got everything going for me.

In reality.....

Never a date, never a girlfriend,never getting female attention either.

 

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[Digamma]

Never a date, never a girlfriend,never getting female attention either.

Why?

 

[Lasvagabond]

Heh, good startup thread ran totally troll.


Anyways, if dating is like marketing....I'm going to be totally useless!

(Never had a gf in my life(in fact, I've never had a date in my life) I'm a musician, world traveler, athlete and soon to be business owner..
Friends usually describe me as: Charismatic, funny, confident
So on paper I got everything going for me.

In reality.....

Never a date, never a girlfriend,never getting female attention either.

Newcomer to Fastlane but this is an area (dating, relationships, lifestyle.. etc) of expertise of mine and also how I found about the book and this forum.

I've met 1000's of guys wanting to improve their dating life and the most common issues are lack of fundamentals -
grooming,
fashion/style
body language
basic conversation skills

Durete, how many girls (that you would potentially date) do you regularly talk to?

 

[Unknown]

Heh, good startup thread ran totally troll.


Anyways, if dating is like marketing....I'm going to be totally useless!

(Never had a gf in my life(in fact, I've never had a date in my life) I'm a musician, world traveler, athlete and soon to be business owner..
Friends usually describe me as: Charismatic, funny, confident
So on paper I got everything going for me.

In reality.....

Never a date, never a girlfriend,never getting female attention either.

So go ask someone out. The worst she can do is say no. Something people have to learn is that the other person is just as nervous as you are. She's likely just as insecure as you are. If nothing else you'll make her feel good that someone is interested in her even if she is already taken or not interested in you.

 

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[Bila]

This thread opened my eyes ....i thought western guys ( sorry :embarrased had it too easy, dont make efforts, like to be chased or got too used to it ...

 

[Luffy]

So go ask someone out. The worst she can do is say no. Something people have to learn is that the other person is just as nervous as you are. She's likely just as insecure as you are. If nothing else you'll make her feel good that someone is interested in her even if she is already taken or not interested in you.

Yeah, I made a 33 year old chicks day by saying she's cute even if she had a boyfriend, she walked away with a huge smile.
I know girls always use this excuse but for this instance I think she was telling the truth.

 

[The-J]

Girls dont know what they want... but neither do customers. They typically have a better idea of what they dont want. Do your research by getting out there!

 

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[Digamma]

This thread opened my eyes ....i thought western guys ( sorry :embarrased had it too easy, dont make efforts, like to be chased or got too used to it ...

Quite the opposite. Most western man are hopelessly lost. Their relationship with the opposite sex is not even remotely the first of their problems, to be fair. Having lost every connection with their masculinity is.

 

[FastNAwesome]

Chasing just doesn't work.

If by "chasing" you mean "cold approaching" - then yes it does work.
But it's a numbers game and 1 approach is nothing. Try 100.

Of course you also need to try learning things from each approach,
so you can improve the next one.

You really gotta love it to do it, but there are less stressful
alternatives like meeting through social circles and events.

Btw.don't take things personally, she didn't "reject" you - she don't know you,
she merely was saying no to whatever your proposal was.
It's her right to not like you. No big deal.

Anyways, if dating is like marketing....I'm going to be totally useless!

(Never had a gf in my life(in fact, I've never had a date in my life)

To have a glass of water, you need to take steps.

1. take a glass
2. open the tap
3. put the glass below the tap

Same with getting dates. What actual steps have
you taken towards getting dates, and how many times have you tried?

I'm a musician

musician = magnet for girls, do you play somewhere where they can see you and like you?

world traveler

so you have a lot of exciting topics to talk about on a date, and you can also talk about travels you're planning...ask her will she travel with you

Note: don't be one of those boring types who only talk about travel

athlete

I've never ever met a woman who doesn't appreciate athletic body.

and soon to be business owner

So ambitious guy with plans and direction in life. Another big plus.

Friends usually describe me as: Charismatic, funny, confident

Do you have female friends? If not, find some. If yes, ask them for hints and for help. Open your heart, and openly ask them to help you find get a date. Be completely open and say you never had a date and have no clue.

 

[borntodominate]

I honestly think getting girls is more or less the same as making money.

You need to be valuable. the product is you. That means you need to workout, you need to have goals and ambitions. You need to be able to network with people. You need to bring something to the table, and its different for everyone because we are all unique. Thats what makes it great and more effective. I dont think trying to act a certain way or behave a certain way will bring long lasting results.

sure you can bang a few girls, but eventually theyl leave because you arent providing something worthwhile.

 

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[Luffy]

I honestly think getting girls is more or less the same as making money.

You need to be valuable. the product is you. That means you need to workout, you need to have goals and ambitions. You need to be able to network with people. You need to bring something to the table, and its different for everyone because we are all unique. Thats what makes it great and more effective. I dont think trying to act a certain way or behave a certain way will bring long lasting results.

sure you can bang a few girls, but eventually theyl leave because you arent providing something worthwhile.

They're not just a costumer, they're a product too and if they aren't providing something worthwhile themselves then they shouldn't be invited to your reality. Infact I believe business is one of the best metaphors for life in terms of relationships between humans, it's all sharing value.

 

[borntodominate]

They're not just a costumer, they're a product too and if they aren't providing something worthwhile themselves then they shouldn't be invited to your reality. Infact I believe business is one of the best metaphors for life in terms of relationships between humans, it's all sharing value.

Im not just talking about your average chick, im saying if you want value. then you need to match or better that value

 

[Luffy]

Im not just talking about your average chick, im saying if you want value. then you need to match or better that value

All value is perceived value and your beliefs will determine whether you're going to invest in a particular person or thing.
I was agreeing with you btw, the thing is however bringing something you value is different from bringing something they value.

 

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[borntodominate]

All value is perceived value and your beliefs will determine whether you're going to invest in a particular person or thing.
I was agreeing with you btw, the thing is however bringing something you value is different from bringing something they value.

Which is why ive said F*ck it and stopped worrying lol

 

[Unknown]

This thread makes me sad. Women are human beings. Just talk to them.

 

[Durete]

Newcomer to Fastlane but this is an area (dating, relationships, lifestyle.. etc) of expertise of mine and also how I found about the book and this forum.

I've met 1000's of guys wanting to improve their dating life and the most common issues are lack of fundamentals -
grooming,

As far as I know it's fine,
During my free time I just wear jeans and a playful dress shirt,
During work always in a suit, tuxedo or a costume (Work is 99% of my life though...working all day, every day.

fashion/style

see above, don't know too much about fashion though, I got clothes that I think look good.

body language

My body language is generally very open, kind of a cross over from my work. (I'm an entertainer on a cruise ship, the "Go to" guy for fun.

basic conversation skills

I would say that I have advanced conversation skills.
I talk all day, every day, with everyone.(once again part of my job) I can talk for hours and come up with very deep and interesting questions.
Thing is, the girls enjoy the conversations...but then that's it.

Durete, how many girls (that you would potentially date) do you regularly talk to?

Not too many, most people that I meet are guests on the cruise ship, dating them is a big no-no.
Then there are a few female crew members that I'm interested in. But got a lot of bad experience with that. (They're either dating everybody at the same time, only date the highest officer in charge, or are married at home. also nobody takes dating or relationships serious on a ship, standard rule is: If one of you leaves the ship, the relationship is over.)

There are a few crew members I talk to occasionally, The girls I'm talking at are usually the professional dancers, aerialists or ice skaters that we have on board. But it always stays with talking and having a nice conversation.... I do ask them out but the answer is almost always "no" or that they've already got plans. Probably since of social pressure as if their friends don't think high of me, they'll never go on a date. (Think of living on a cruise ship as the adult version of high school.) and if they say yes on going out they either cancel last moment, or it just stays in the "Friend zone' all the time.

That being said, on a ship it's quite hard as well, as if a girl complaints that you're "Sexually harassing her" which is already considered saying "You're looking good today" you lose your job, and might end up in jail. and also I never get to know my work schedule until the night before. so you can't plan anything, everything has to be impulsive.

Do you have female friends? If not, find some. If yes, ask them for hints and for help. Open your heart, and openly ask them to help you find get a date. Be completely open and say you never had a date and have no clue.

I don't have too many "real friends' simply don't got time for that. I either work(+/- 14 hrs/day spread over the entire day), work out(+/- 45 mins day), work on setting up my business(+/- 1 hr/day), sleep(+/- 6 hr/day.), or eat/shower/clean my room etc.

Also most people on the ship just want to F*ck or get drunk in their free time. I'm more of a traditional guy, and don't like getting drunk, especially not if I have to work within 6 hours again. and that already makes me the black sheep on the ship.

just reading over the above sounds like a whole lot of excuses.
Simple thing is: I don't know where to start, what to do and so forth...
I never had a childhood to explore social things. (Some very traumatic things happening in the past, including attempted murder, kidnapping going into hiding and more, which resulted in not actually living through the ages of 1-22. So at the age of 22 I started to be a "Child/teenager" and be able to explore social stuff. since then I put myself through all kinds of situations that forced me to become a super social person.
Atm I work with 2500 new people every single week, and get to know the life stories of most of them...but once again that is all work. so getting girls there to like/love me doesn't count as I can't do anything with them anyways.)

Anyways back to the now: So far I talk with them, joke around with them, flirt a bit here and there....but always in the public area's of the ship.
Since I never see them in private quarters.[/quote][/QUOTE]

 

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[S&P]

I'm so glad I haven't dated or chased any women in the last 5 months.

Most productive period of my life. 26 year old man here and I spent 21-25 living a crazy sidewalking womanizing lifestyle. My brain was completely consumed with sex, picking up women and everything dating. There was nothing going up there besides reproduction. I even lived off a girlfriend for 4 months. Talk about sidewalker!!!

Had some fun experiences but now it's time to take action.

To be honest, it's great you got rejected. Get back to the grind. Good luck.

 

[S&P]

I honestly think getting girls is more or less the same as making money.

You need to be valuable. the product is you. That means you need to workout, you need to have goals and ambitions. You need to be able to network with people. You need to bring something to the table, and its different for everyone because we are all unique. Thats what makes it great and more effective. I dont think trying to act a certain way or behave a certain way will bring long lasting results.

sure you can bang a few girls, but eventually theyl leave because you arent providing something worthwhile.

This. I strongly believe all women really care about is value.

The key is to date a good girl where the value gap is big in your favor. She will see you as the prize and forever chase you. You can then enjoy a healthy relationship with less drama. My 0.02.

 

[Ninjakid]

That being said, on a ship it's quite hard as well, as if a girl complaints that you're "Sexually harassing her" which is already considered saying "You're looking good today" you lose your job, and might end up in jail. and also I never get to know my work schedule until the night before. so you can't plan anything, everything has to be impulsive.

 

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[RHL]

I'm doubling down. Chasing Paper 2.0, unfolding live, right here.

 

[Ninjakid]

I'm doubling down. Chasing Paper 2.0, unfolding live, right here.

Got my popcorn and tuning in