You Can't Do What You Want By Doing Something Else

[neverfastenough]

Summary
I'm reading Po Bronson's "What Should I Do With My Life?" which is brilliant on many levels. For one thing, it's the anti-self-help book; it's just stories from talking to people, and by no means is everyone successful.
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And it's dense, by which I mean not fluffy but packed with insight. He spent years researching and developing this book, and his own struggle is woven into it. Indeed, it's not about formulas and answers, but about the struggle itself.

One observation set me back. There are lots of people who wanted to do one thing but then got "practical" and did something else "first." The idea was that they'd be successful and sock away money doing the practical thing, and after that they could go back to the thing they loved. Bronson was sure that, among the hundreds of people that he interviewed, someone would actually have been successful with this strategy. It sounds so reasonable, after all.

But he encountered exactly zero people who pulled it off. Everyone who tried got sucked into the "practical" career and were never able to extract themselves from it. Too comfortable, too many expectations from friends and family, too easy just to keep doing what you're doing.

Although we admire when someone can do something unique and creative, society is set up to resist such attempts. Your parents, with all the love and best intentions, will urge you to do something that "makes a good living." Your friends and coworkers resist behaviors that might take you away from them, and will tell you stories of how this or that person tried and failed. And hardest of all, when you are ready to make your leap of faith, the temptations appear; the tremendous opportunities that for some reason only come out of the woodwork when you are ready to walk out the door.

There's a quote that appears again and again in various forms: "close one door, another opens." It seems like magical thinking until you see it happen. And it only happens when you don't leave the door partially open, but instead firmly close it. For some reason, being certain that you're ready to move on does cause some kind of magic to happen, and I don't know why.

This doesn't mean it will be easy. But your struggles will be towards happiness rather than trying to avoid some litany of unpleasant things as most people do -- and most people (over 80% in this country, it appears) are unhappy in their careers. And knowing that you are moving towards something that you love (even if you don't yet know what it is) seems more likely to make you happy than just marking time in a job, waiting for something to happen so you can start doing what you really want.

You Can't Do What You Want By Doing Something Else

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Great resource/article ... I refer to this occurrence as Slowlane gravity. Once you are "in it", it is really hard to extract yourself.

Many people fall out of gravity by being laid off. It can be a blessing in disguise.

 

[neverfastenough]

Great resource/article ... I refer to this occurrence as Slowlane gravity. Once you are "in it", it is really hard to extract yourself.

Many people fall out of gravity by being laid off. It can be a blessing in disguise.

EXACTLY! This is kind of my pet peeve. People spend so much time researching/ reading about businesses, yet most don't just go do it. The "research" is an excuse to never get started. Much like choosing the practical route because you "have to". The best way to learn is to do it yourself. Now I'm not saying learning and reading as you go isn't important. But by taking action, all the advice you read becomes relative.

 

[czach41]

Last Friday I was having a conversation with a 40 something co-worker. He is fed up with the corporate world, and finally taking a leap of faith. His wife's 100k job is detiorating her health, and his, due to the stress. He is personally sick of the corporate world. They're looking to open up a restaurant/Bed & Breakfast.
Anyways, he was telling me about how when he was my age, he hated having other people tell him what to do; and now, at his age, he tries to impart wisdom on people my age.
He pretty much said verbatim what was mentioned above: that it NEVER works to say, "oh, once X is paid off, I'll do this, or, after X amount of years saving, then I'll do this."
He said you'll wake up all of a sudden, 40-something years old and say to yourself "where the f*ck did my life go?"

Close that damn door ASAP and find the new one that opened!

* His conversation would have been enlightening to me, had I not known this for a few years already :thankyousign:

 

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[wildambitions]

People spend so much time researching/ reading about businesses, yet most don't just go do it.

The year before last, the B&P meet-up quote of the year was, "Just do it!" This was, of course, in reference to taking action. Though some research (due diligence) is always needed, not getting the infamous "analysis paralysis" is imperative.

I personally do need a lot of research - for complete and detailed understanding, but I also often check that it is NOT going to stop me from taking action. I can usually tell when I am about to take action because the research actually stops and I begin to simply think about the details. Within about three days I take action.

Many people fall out of gravity by being laid off. It can be a blessing in disguise.

Hallelujah!!!
Totally agree. I am LOVING my new business!