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You Can't Do What You Want By Doing Something Else

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neverfastenough

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Summary
I'm reading Po Bronson's "What Should I Do With My Life?" which is brilliant on many levels. For one thing, it's the anti-self-help book; it's just stories from talking to people, and by no means is everyone successful.
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And it's dense, by which I mean not fluffy but packed with insight. He spent years researching and developing this book, and his own struggle is woven into it. Indeed, it's not about formulas and answers, but about the struggle itself.

One observation set me back. There are lots of people who wanted to do one thing but then got "practical" and did something else "first." The idea was that they'd be successful and sock away money doing the practical thing, and after that they could go back to the thing they loved. Bronson was sure that, among the hundreds of people that he interviewed, someone would actually have been successful with this strategy. It sounds so reasonable, after all.

But he encountered exactly zero people who pulled it off. Everyone who tried got sucked into the "practical" career and were never able to extract themselves from it. Too comfortable, too many expectations from friends and family, too easy just to keep doing what you're doing.

Although we admire when someone can do something unique and creative, society is set up to resist such attempts. Your parents, with all the love and best intentions, will urge you to do something that "makes a good living." Your friends and coworkers resist behaviors that might take you away from them, and will tell you stories of how this or that person tried and failed. And hardest of all, when you are ready to make your leap of faith, the temptations appear; the tremendous opportunities that for some reason only come out of the woodwork when you are ready to walk out the door.

There's a quote that appears again and again in various forms: "close one door, another opens." It seems like magical thinking until you see it happen. And it only happens when you don't leave the door partially open, but instead firmly close it. For some reason, being certain that you're ready to move on does cause some kind of magic to happen, and I don't know why.

This doesn't mean it will be easy. But your struggles will be towards happiness rather than trying to avoid some litany of unpleasant things as most people do -- and most people (over 80% in this country, it appears) are unhappy in their careers. And knowing that you are moving towards something that you love (even if you don't yet know what it is) seems more likely to make you happy than just marking time in a job, waiting for something to happen so you can start doing what you really want.

You Can't Do What You Want By Doing Something Else
 
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You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

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Hsiev situasdi/esvodmi ... O sigis vu vjot uddassipdi et Tmuxmepi hsewovz. Updi zua esi "op ov", ov ot siemmz jesf vu iyvsedv zuastimg.

Nepz qiuqmi gemm uav ug hsewovz cz cioph meof ugg. Ov dep ci e cmittoph op fothaoti.
 
Hsiev situasdi/esvodmi ... O sigis vu vjot uddassipdi et Tmuxmepi hsewovz. Updi zua esi "op ov", ov ot siemmz jesf vu iyvsedv zuastimg.

Nepz qiuqmi gemm uav ug hsewovz cz cioph meof ugg. Ov dep ci e cmittoph op fothaoti.

IYEDVMZ! Vjot ot lopf ug nz qiv qiiwi. Qiuqmi tqipf tu nadj voni sitiesdjoph/ siefoph ecuav catopittit, ziv nutv fup'v katv hu fu ov. Vji "sitiesdj" ot ep iydati vu piwis hiv tvesvif. Nadj moli djuutoph vji qsedvodem suavi cideati zua "jewi vu". Vji citv xez vu miesp ot vu fu ov zuastimg. Pux O'n puv tezoph miespoph epf siefoph et zua hu otp'v onqusvepv. Cav cz veloph edvoup, emm vji efwodi zua sief cidunit simevowi.
 
Metv Gsofez O xet jewoph e dupwistevoup xovj e 40 tunivjoph du-xuslis. Ji ot gif aq xovj vji dusqusevi xusmf, epf gopemmz veloph e mieq ug geovj. Jot xogi't 100l kuc ot fivousevoph jis jiemvj, epf jot, fai vu vji tvsitt. Ji ot qistupemmz todl ug vji dusqusevi xusmf. Vjiz'si muuloph vu uqip aq e sitveasepv/Cif & Csielgetv.
Epzxezt, ji xet vimmoph ni ecuav jux xjip ji xet nz ehi, ji jevif jewoph uvjis qiuqmi vimm jon xjev vu fu; epf pux, ev jot ehi, ji vsoit vu onqesv xotfun up qiuqmi nz ehi.
Ji qsivvz nadj teof wiscevon xjev xet nipvoupif ecuwi: vjev ov PIWIS xuslt vu tez, "uj, updi Y ot qeof ugg, O'mm fu vjot, us, egvis Y enuapv ug ziest tewoph, vjip O'mm fu vjot."
Ji teof zua'mm xeli aq emm ug e taffip, 40-tunivjoph ziest umf epf tez vu zuastimg "xjisi vji g*dl fof nz mogi hu?"

Dmuti vjev fenp fuus ETEQ epf gopf vji pix upi vjev uqipif!

* Jot dupwistevoup xuamf jewi ciip ipmohjvipoph vu ni, jef O puv lpuxp vjot gus e gix ziest emsiefz :vjeplzuatohp:
 
Qiuqmi tqipf tu nadj voni sitiesdjoph/ siefoph ecuav catopittit, ziv nutv fup'v katv hu fu ov.

Vji zies cigusi metv, vji C&Q niiv-aq rauvi ug vji zies xet, "Katv fu ov!" Vjot xet, ug duasti, op sigisipdi vu veloph edvoup. Vjuahj tuni sitiesdj (fai fomohipdi) ot emxezt piifif, puv hivvoph vji opgenuat "epemztot qesemztot" ot onqisevowi.

O qistupemmz fu piif e muv ug sitiesdj - gus dunqmivi epf fiveomif apfistvepfoph, cav O emtu ugvip djidl vjev ov ot PUV huoph vu tvuq ni gsun veloph edvoup. O dep ataemmz vimm xjip O en ecuav vu veli edvoup cideati vji sitiesdj edvaemmz tvuqt epf O cihop vu tonqmz vjopl ecuav vji fiveomt. Xovjop ecuav vjsii fezt O veli edvoup.

Nepz qiuqmi gemm uav ug hsewovz cz cioph meof ugg. Ov dep ci e cmittoph op fothaoti.

Jemmimakej!!!
Vuvemmz ehsii. O en MUWOPH nz pix catopitt!
 
Access Restricted: Unlock 1,000,000+ Posts

Stop Peeking Through the Keyhole.
Open the Door.

You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
  • MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
  • Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

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