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Most people, lets face it, are just saying this...
Its a routine you get into and you keep
"Hey guys! I'm new to the forum, I want to blah blah blah, now I don't want to be a billionaire I just want to help those closest to me"
Its not true though, because your NATURAL COMPULSION is to ask "how do I make it magically work and be worth billions!", you don't sit down and ask the dirty little questions and figure out the exact paths to help those you care about. You want the big bucks so you can wash it all away, and give them hope with the gold bullion you have, and you want to wave your finger and tell them "to be responsible" or to be smart like you.
You want to stick up your middle finger at the man and prove something to yourself while b#tching about how people need to be more decent.
You SAY you don't need a billion dollars, because YOU ARE RIGHT, and they are wrong, and money is what you find seperates you. But when you have money, where do you point? At those with more? Those who act indecent? Those who act ignorant?
So you then say, I don't need to
Be around average people anymore
Deal with sh#t
Think about anything other than what works
Or whatever... So you don't say the billion dollar line, but you still have that finger waving attitude, you still have that routine.
Do you know what that routine is?
It is misunderstanding of what you need.
A routine of never asking wtf it really is, you and others, TRULY NEED.
It is passing over that need, and then creating a generalisation. Something "easier". Something that will dull the white noise.
Admit you need a billion dollars
- to feel happy
- to prove it to yourself
- to make it all right
Stop sugar coating it with
- I love what I do
- I want to change things
- Its because I see the need that I make money and it comes like magic
No, you want a billion dollars.
And you know what, I do too.
Because I'm a selfish, self centered, and unashamed of it idiot.
Because for whatever reason, that is what MY brain still respects.
Because I keep making all these "work arounds" that disqualify this guy and that guy.
Because its my sheild, and I hide under it, afraid some comet will come and hit me.
Because it has become my superstition.
Because without really understanding what I am DOING, I have just acrewed ideas in the only direction that makes sense.
Because its hard and I'm owed a reprieve.
A billion dollar reprieve.
If you are going to say you don't want a billion dollars, then why not also say you don't want to hope?
I am not just a mediocre business apprentice grinding my way to success. I've been to success before.
And the secret is...
The things we hope for, hurt us the most.
And if you lose all hope, and think nothing can hurt you, you aren't invulnerable, just lost.
This hurt for hope you feel, its real.
It isn't going to go away.
I look at a billion dollars and I see a billion reasons why that hurt is real.
I see a billion reasons why I feel its the answer.
A billion reasons why I'm wrong.
And I ignore them all.
Because I want it to be true.
Because deep down I want the other changes that will take me there, but I don't enjoy finding them.
So I set that goal, not to achieve it, but to not stare in the face what I really want to achieve.
Because what I really want to achieve is heavy, its not glorious, people still act indecent, and it takes so much work, and I barely improve... But maybe that small change changes a life, accomplishes something without money, helps me act truer to myself, achieve a closer attunement.
We internally chase a billion dollars because we ALLOW ourselves to BE BLIND.
Don't race ahead, look ahead
Don't scream and tout, look and care
When you struggle to see, struggle deeper to do it justice
Ground yourself FIRST in reality
A billion dollars is a thousand things you are not
First, you are brave
First, you can put it aside
First, you look up to change... real change, and just for what it is, not what it brings
First, your heart feels it when people care, when you make that difference
Cast aside your shame
Your imaginary cloak, that hides that billion dollar wound
And rest by the fire that is you,
Your anger,
Your need,
All the neglect that got you here,
Don't turn away
The greatness in you, don't let it sneak in through the back door, watch it trickle in through the front.
Let the tiny wins, wage their tiny battles with their tiny defeats
And don't play it down, like some day it'll be bigger, mean more, or whatever.
My biggest fear, is that its as big as "this", where this is what I have.
Thats why we want the billion dollars.
I'm not saying be happy with being poor, thats asking you to be stupid, a moron and a matyr for some other person.
No, please do get a healthy flow of cash that is as abstracted from your time as possible.
But in the JOURNEY of KNOWING and FEELING, I ask you to be kinder to these gentle changes.
To fear less the war that wages inside of you.
To not HIDE you monster.
Sometimes I feel like I need a billion dollars.
But when I'm calm, I've started to understand, that what I need more, is respect for the path.
And its a brutal feeling.
A new LAYER of hurt.
One I don't THINK I can endure.
But thats how pain is.
And ignorance disguises that the way out isn't that far.
FEEL whats right, and desire that.
Let loose the old billion dollar target.
Lose all sense of reason, all sense of money.
Focus, pure.
Its a routine you get into and you keep
"Hey guys! I'm new to the forum, I want to blah blah blah, now I don't want to be a billionaire I just want to help those closest to me"
Its not true though, because your NATURAL COMPULSION is to ask "how do I make it magically work and be worth billions!", you don't sit down and ask the dirty little questions and figure out the exact paths to help those you care about. You want the big bucks so you can wash it all away, and give them hope with the gold bullion you have, and you want to wave your finger and tell them "to be responsible" or to be smart like you.
You want to stick up your middle finger at the man and prove something to yourself while b#tching about how people need to be more decent.
You SAY you don't need a billion dollars, because YOU ARE RIGHT, and they are wrong, and money is what you find seperates you. But when you have money, where do you point? At those with more? Those who act indecent? Those who act ignorant?
So you then say, I don't need to
Be around average people anymore
Deal with sh#t
Think about anything other than what works
Or whatever... So you don't say the billion dollar line, but you still have that finger waving attitude, you still have that routine.
Do you know what that routine is?
It is misunderstanding of what you need.
A routine of never asking wtf it really is, you and others, TRULY NEED.
It is passing over that need, and then creating a generalisation. Something "easier". Something that will dull the white noise.
Admit you need a billion dollars
- to feel happy
- to prove it to yourself
- to make it all right
Stop sugar coating it with
- I love what I do
- I want to change things
- Its because I see the need that I make money and it comes like magic
No, you want a billion dollars.
And you know what, I do too.
Because I'm a selfish, self centered, and unashamed of it idiot.
Because for whatever reason, that is what MY brain still respects.
Because I keep making all these "work arounds" that disqualify this guy and that guy.
Because its my sheild, and I hide under it, afraid some comet will come and hit me.
Because it has become my superstition.
Because without really understanding what I am DOING, I have just acrewed ideas in the only direction that makes sense.
Because its hard and I'm owed a reprieve.
A billion dollar reprieve.
If you are going to say you don't want a billion dollars, then why not also say you don't want to hope?
I am not just a mediocre business apprentice grinding my way to success. I've been to success before.
And the secret is...
The things we hope for, hurt us the most.
And if you lose all hope, and think nothing can hurt you, you aren't invulnerable, just lost.
This hurt for hope you feel, its real.
It isn't going to go away.
I look at a billion dollars and I see a billion reasons why that hurt is real.
I see a billion reasons why I feel its the answer.
A billion reasons why I'm wrong.
And I ignore them all.
Because I want it to be true.
Because deep down I want the other changes that will take me there, but I don't enjoy finding them.
So I set that goal, not to achieve it, but to not stare in the face what I really want to achieve.
Because what I really want to achieve is heavy, its not glorious, people still act indecent, and it takes so much work, and I barely improve... But maybe that small change changes a life, accomplishes something without money, helps me act truer to myself, achieve a closer attunement.
We internally chase a billion dollars because we ALLOW ourselves to BE BLIND.
Don't race ahead, look ahead
Don't scream and tout, look and care
When you struggle to see, struggle deeper to do it justice
Ground yourself FIRST in reality
A billion dollars is a thousand things you are not
First, you are brave
First, you can put it aside
First, you look up to change... real change, and just for what it is, not what it brings
First, your heart feels it when people care, when you make that difference
Cast aside your shame
Your imaginary cloak, that hides that billion dollar wound
And rest by the fire that is you,
Your anger,
Your need,
All the neglect that got you here,
Don't turn away
The greatness in you, don't let it sneak in through the back door, watch it trickle in through the front.
Let the tiny wins, wage their tiny battles with their tiny defeats
And don't play it down, like some day it'll be bigger, mean more, or whatever.
My biggest fear, is that its as big as "this", where this is what I have.
Thats why we want the billion dollars.
I'm not saying be happy with being poor, thats asking you to be stupid, a moron and a matyr for some other person.
No, please do get a healthy flow of cash that is as abstracted from your time as possible.
But in the JOURNEY of KNOWING and FEELING, I ask you to be kinder to these gentle changes.
To fear less the war that wages inside of you.
To not HIDE you monster.
Sometimes I feel like I need a billion dollars.
But when I'm calm, I've started to understand, that what I need more, is respect for the path.
And its a brutal feeling.
A new LAYER of hurt.
One I don't THINK I can endure.
But thats how pain is.
And ignorance disguises that the way out isn't that far.
FEEL whats right, and desire that.
Let loose the old billion dollar target.
Lose all sense of reason, all sense of money.
Focus, pure.
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