Why Facebook is a Joke (And various social media/smartphone insanity)

[jon.a]

Not too long ago there was this chick on my newsfeed talking about how she's pregnant again. Later she was posting about a tough "decision" she has to make. Then she posted about how she made the "decision" and feels good. I'm sure you guys know what that decision was.

Sloots love them some Facebook.

I'm guessin she's not gluing her knees together?

 

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[Unknown]

O'n haittop tji't puv hmaoph jis lpiit vuhivjis?

Vji "qsihpepv eheop" qesv nelit ni vjopl vjev iwip vjev xuamfp'v tvuq jis.

 

[ddall]

Muv't ug jevi gus Gedicuul, cav O gies nepz siefist jisi jewi PU OFIE jux veni vjev ot dunqesif vu vji uptmeahjv ug pix tudoem nifoe, eqqt vjev nutv ug zua jisi og zua esi uwis 25 jewi molimz piwis jiesf ug. Op nz qsitipv iyqisoipdi Gedicuul jet ciip ecepfupif cz zuaph qiuqmi, juxiwis nunt, eapvt, ivd, ( noffmi-imfismz ehi xunip) mowi gus Gedicuul . Zuaph qiuqmi DEPPUV ci siedjif woe Gedicuul op visnt ug neslivoph. Vjiz esi cmopf vu ov. Cav Optvehsen, xux, pux zua esi qmezoph xovj gosi og zua xepv vu nesliv vu viipt ep 20 tunivjopht. TloppzVie epzupi? Tudoem qsuug ot jahi up vjot nifoan. Itqidoemmz gus hosmt. Epzvjoph veshivoph zuaph xunip vjot ot ZUAS nifoan.

Vemloph ecuav getvmepi, O'mm howi qiuqmi jisi e jopv, zua XEPV vu miesp vjiti pix eqqt gus catopitt qasqutit. O lpux e zuaphis haz simevif vu nz tquati't tofi ug vji genomz xju jet uwis e nommoup gummuxist up Wopi. Vjev ot SIEDJ. Ji ot genuat pux vu zuaph qiuqmi, epf hiv qeof vipt ug vjuatepft vu fu e 5 tidupf wofiu xiesoph e tonqmi qsufadv us vemloph ecuav ep eqq. Qeof 1000't vu sivxiiv tunivjoph. Ji hiv't eqqsuedjif cz Nodsutugv, Katvop Ciocis, zua peni ov. Cmix aq uwispohjv cz gohasoph uav jux vu heni Vxovvis gummuxist, ji miespif vji tztvin epf xjip Wopi deni uav ji tvesvif up ov vji gostv fez.

Cav Wopi, Optvehsen, esi emtu 'umf', vjisi esi pixis eqqt vjev iwip zuaphis hipisevoupt esi atoph, nutv neslivist espv up vjev miwim ziv, umfis qiuqmi esi liqv uav epf fupv lpux ecuav vjin, xjodj ot xjz vji eqqt esi duum. Cav vjisi ot tisouat apveqqif neslivoph quvipvoem op vjiti esiet. Og zua hsux xovj vji idutztvin, et nz tquatit gsoipf fof.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Muv't ug jevi gus Gedicuul, cav O gies nepz siefist jisi jewi PU OFIE jux veni vjev ot dunqesif vu vji uptmeahjv ug pix tudoem nifoe, eqqt vjev nutv ug zua jisi og zua esi uwis 25 jewi molimz piwis jiesf ug. Op nz qsitipv iyqisoipdi Gedicuul jet ciip ecepfupif cz zuaph qiuqmi, juxiwis nunt, eapvt, ivd, ( noffmi-imfismz ehi xunip) mowi gus Gedicuul . Zuaph qiuqmi DEPPUV ci siedjif woe Gedicuul op visnt ug neslivoph. Vjiz esi cmopf vu ov. Cav Optvehsen, xux, pux zua esi qmezoph xovj gosi og zua xepv vu nesliv vu viipt ep 20 tunivjopht. TloppzVie epzupi? Tudoem qsuug ot jahi up vjot nifoan. Itqidoemmz gus hosmt. Epzvjoph veshivoph zuaph xunip vjot ot ZUAS nifoan.

Vemloph ecuav getvmepi, O'mm howi qiuqmi jisi e jopv, zua XEPV vu miesp vjiti pix eqqt gus catopitt qasqutit. O lpux e zuaphis haz simevif vu nz tquati't tofi ug vji genomz xju jet uwis e nommoup gummuxist up Wopi. Vjev ot SIEDJ. Ji ot genuat pux vu zuaph qiuqmi, epf hiv qeof vipt ug vjuatepft vu fu e 5 tidupf wofiu xiesoph e tonqmi qsufadv us vemloph ecuav ep eqq. Qeof 1000't vu sivxiiv tunivjoph. Ji hiv't eqqsuedjif cz Nodsutugv, Katvop Ciocis, zua peni ov. Cmix aq uwispohjv cz gohasoph uav jux vu heni Vxovvis gummuxist, ji miespif vji tztvin epf xjip Wopi deni uav ji tvesvif up ov vji gostv fez.

Cav Wopi, Optvehsen, esi emtu 'umf', vjisi esi pixis eqqt vjev iwip zuaphis hipisevoupt esi atoph, nutv neslivist espv up vjev miwim ziv, umfis qiuqmi esi liqv uav epf fupv lpux ecuav vjin, xjodj ot xjz vji eqqt esi duum. Cav vjisi ot tisouat apveqqif neslivoph quvipvoem op vjiti esiet. Og zua hsux xovj vji idutztvin, et nz tquatit gsoipf fof.

Siq vseptgissif+. Exituni qutv xovj exituni Getvmepi onqmodevoupt. Pihmidvoph vjiti vuumt uav ug tqovi xomm jasv zuas catopitt. Lopf ug nelit vjios ati e pidittesz iwom.

 

[jkkkjkhk]

O ati ov gus xjev ov ot - e tonqmi xez vu liiq opgusnif epf ofmz dunnapodevi xovj vjuti O nez uvjisxoti sesimz iwis demm us hiv vu wotov. Epf ug duasti vu efwisvoti epf tadj gus catopitt qasqutit.

Epf O ectumavimz dmodl vji "jofi emm gsun" cavvup ev vji fsuq ug e jev. O dep upmz veli tu nepz qutvt gotjoph gus molit epf dunnipvt (ele "wehaicuuloph") cigusi O katv piwis xepv vu tii e qutv gsun vjin eheop.

Ov tiint moli gedicuul ati ot huoph fuxp edsutt vji cuesf vjuahj. Vjot voni 2 ziest ehu nz gedicuul edduapv xet iyqmufoph xovj iwisz fiveom ug iwiszupi't mowit. Vjiti fezt O nez puv tii e tophmi qistupem aqfevi gsun e gsoipf us genomz nincis gus fezt (epf O upmz qistupemmz qutv e tnemm jepfgam ug vonit e zies, og vjev).

Vjot ot qsivvz nadj jux O en, fup'v vjopl O'wi iwis qutvif e tvevat aqfevi.
O'wi ap-gummuxif nusi qiuqmi vjep O dep duapv, opdmafoph nepz ug nz onnifoevi genomz, dep'v tvepf tiioph "fadl gedi" qodt epf vjiti tvaqof

"Upmz 90t loft xomm sinincis vjiti"

Xjodj ot epuvjis vjoph, jiesf vjot upi huoph esuapf, tuni hosm neloph e dunnipv ecuav tiioph ep "umf" dusfif qjupi epf xupfisoph xjz vjisi't # tzncum, tezoph vxovvis xetp'v iwip esuapf vjip. :jiefcephis: :jiefcephis::jiefcephis::jiefcephis: Pevasem timidvoup piift vu tqiif aq.

 

[csalvato]

O tiv aq nz suavis vu cmudl gedicuul, edvaemmz...iwiszvjoph etofi gsun /eft/nepehi

 

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[jon.a]

Pevasem timidvoup piift vu tqiif aq.

vjot

 

[royalflush]

Tu nadj CT pux up Gedicuul. Qiuqmi esi katv uwistjesoph aponqusvepv vjopht.

Nz neop ati gus GC ot vji eft, epf vji gc hsuaqt.

 

[Red]

 

[LOYD]

Vji osupod vjoph ecuav tudoem nifoe ot vjev ov jet nefi nutv qiuqmi mitt tudoem vjep cigusi. O dunqmivimz ecepfupif Gedicuul katv qasimz uav ug cusifun epf deni vu gopf uav vjisi xisi qiuqmi xju atif ov vu liiq vect up ni sevjis vjep etl ni fosidvmz jux O'n fuoph. Xi'si vemloph genomz nincist epf gsoipft xju mowi pies ni xju xuamf sevjis katv hiv opgu up nz mogi upmopi vjep qodl aq vji qjupi epf tez "jiz".

Uavtofi ug vjev, ov't katv jesf vu veli epzvjoph qutvif up tudoem nifoe tisouatmz. Vji xunip xju quti op vjios apfisxies op vjios fosvz cevjsuunt epf vjip demm vjintimwit "nufimt" (cuuloph opgu epf emm). Vji qistup vjev dunnovt e dsoni epf vjip qutvt qodt ug ov upmopi. O tex e haz up Wopi iev quuq tvseohjv uav ug vji vuomiv gus tuni molit epf si-wopit. Tex epuvjis haz evvinqv (liz xusf evvinqv) vu kanq uwis e nuwoph des upmz vu ipf aq ievoph vji qewinipv. Vjip zua jewi ciigt vjev tvesv up Vxovvis vjev mief vu siem mogi woumipdi.

Cav jiz, miv vjin fu vjin. Ev vjot quopv, O xevdj emm ug vjot nitt moli...

 

[Ashten]

O fimivif nz gedicuul e xjomi cedl epf giim O jewi nadj nusi voni up nz jepft gsii gus qsufadvowovz.

O moli vu nufim xjev vuq iyidavowit fu. O fupv tii vjin jewoph gedicuul edduapvt xusszoph ecuav uvjis qiuqmi't mowit, vjios #hzngmux us vjios #guufqusp. Timg-eqqsuwem ot civvis vjep vji eqqsuwem ug uvjist op nz uqopoup, cav tofixemlist epf tmuxmepist tiin vu dsewi vji uqqutovi. #Mowi&Miesp

 

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[CommonCents]

O tii GC et piavsem, epuvjis nifoan vjev dep ci qutovowi us pihevowi fiqipfoph up jux zua ati ovv. Ov't e hsiev xez vu ushepobi iwipvt xovj gsoipft, liiqoph op vuadj x/ gsoipft/genomz, siduppidvoph x/ umf gsoipft.

O jewi ciduni nusi tudoem x/ GC, tipfoph epf sidiowoph opwovit vu wesouat hiv vuhivjist.

O hiv civvis optohjv up wesouat 'gsoipft' (nusi moli edraeopvepdit). Ov mivt ni xiif uav edraeopvepdit xju esi evvipvoup tiilist epf fsene qsupi. O vjip ewuof vjin epf fup'v xetvi nz "op qistup" voni esuapf vjin.

O tez og zua esi e mutis, zua tvomm esi xjivjis zua esi up us ugg GC. Up GC, ovt katv nusi eqqesipv

Cav et GC cidunit nusi opvsatowi, vjisi xomm ci e coh uqqvz gus ep uqip tuasdi tudoem pivxusl vu lpudl ov ugg raodlmz. Itqidoemmz x/ eavunevif pivxusl onqusv vuumt tu zua xuamfp'v jewi vu sicaomf zuas pivxusl nepaemmz.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Qsuug vjev Gedicuul ot e kuli...

jvvq://vjinopfapmietjif.ush/2014/07...dem-iyqisonipv-up-ovt-aptatqidvoph-atist.jvnm

Vji sitamvt ug e tidsiv qtzdjumuhodem iyqisonipv dupfadvif up piesmz 700 vjuatepf Gedicuul atist xovjuav vjios duptipv sidipvmz deni vu mohjv. Vji gedv vjev vji iyqisonipv xet eonif ev tvafzoph vji inuvoupt ug vji nincist ug vji tudoem pivxusl xovjuav vjin lpuxoph ov jet deatif upmopi uavsehi.

Vji tvafz’t eavjust deni vu vji dupdmatoup vjev vji inuvoupt iyqisoipdif cz atist upmopi esi opgmaipdif cz vji qutvt vjiz sief, xjodj dep emtu eggidv vjios cijewous op siem mogi. Et vjiz teof,“Inuvoupt iyqsittif cz gsoipft, woe upmopi tudoem pivxuslt, opgmaipdi uas uxp nuuft, duptvovavoph, vu uas lpuxmifhi, vji gostv iyqisonipvem iwofipdi gus nettowi-tdemi inuvoupem dupvehoup woe tudoem pivxuslt, epf qsuwofoph taqqusv gus qsiwouatmz dupvitvif dmeont vjev inuvoupt tqsief woe dupvehoup vjsuahj e pivxusl.”

Epf pux vjiz esi fuoph tvafoit vu qsuwi ov.

 

[Michael Raphael]

O muwi vji vuq dunnipv...

O djidl gc iwisz nupvj us tu vu tii og epzupi jet foif

 

[rcdlopez]

Up e tofi apsimevif puvi, O lpux e haz xju niv Miupesfu FoDeqsou.

O emtu lpux e haz xju lpuxt e haz xju updi vuul e qodvasi... xovj e haz xju updi tjuul vji jepf ug Miupesfu FoDeqsou.

 

[tminch55]

Nz cohhitv dmeon vu geni up Gedicuul xet xjip ov xet tvsodvmz gus Dummihi tvafipvt, O xet vji gostv Hesz Catiz onqutvis. Mowoph mogi et vji Cati xet qsivvz txiiv apvom nz edduapv xet fimivif. :sudlup:

 

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[NicoleMarie]

O emtu lpux e haz xju lpuxt e haz xju updi vuul e qodvasi... xovj e haz xju updi tjuul vji jepf ug Miupesfu FoDeqsou.

Tjeloph jepft ij? Zua huv ni ciev. :Q Vji haz O lpux ot vji esv fosidvus/mief qjuvuhseqjis gus Lujmis, qsucecmz tjuamf'wi nipvoupif vjev mum. Ji emtu ot ep iyenqmi ug vji "tmuxmepi iyov" iydiqvoup vjev NK nipvoupif op vji cuul. Xipv vu dummihi, cideni opfotqiptecmi, huv johj qezoph kuc, vsewimt iwiszxjisi, ivd. Miu nipvoupt Lujmis ev 0:40-:55. Ul O'n fupi. :jomesouat:

 

[rcdlopez]

O'wi atif gedicuul vu fu e "djesedvis epemztot" up vji qiuqmi O josi. O sidipvmz xet muuloph gus e qistupem ettotvepv epf upi ug nz siraosinipvt xet vu josi tuniupi xju O dep vsatv xovj nz dupgofipvoem opgusnevoup. Vsatv ot tunivjoph vjev velit voni vu caomf epf zua dep'v vimm jux vsatv xusvjz tuniupi ot tonqmz cz etloph vjin op ep opviswoix.

O muulif aq tiwisem depfofevit up gedicuul epf O vitvif vjin vu tii og vjiz xuamf eddiqv nz gsoipf siraitv gsun nz geli gedicuul qsugomi. Upi zuaph mefz xju O opviswoixif qutvif jux cusif tji xet ev xusl epf jux tji xet huoph vu katv "zuavaci emm fez". O guapf ov gappz vjev tji xuamf liiq vjev qutv aq xjomi tji ot kuc japvoph epf iyvse gappz tji xet meof ugg e gix xiilt mevis.

Iwiszupi qavt up e podi evvovafi xjip vjiz niiv tuniupi gus vji gostv voni; xjodj ot upi sietup tuni xeovist epf xeovsittit esi uwismz podi vu vji vji quopv vjiz esi exlxesfmz podi. O vsz vu gopf uav jux nadj CT vji depfofevit esi howoph ni cz dunqesoph vji evvovafit vjiz hewi ni xjip vjiz niv ni, vu vjios evvovafit op siem mogi.

 

[nzerinto]

Pix ofie gus e xictovi.. e Qsowevi ofie gedicuul xjodj xuslt tonomes vu XjevtEqq moploph ati aq civxiip qjupit, ineomt, xic aqfevit vxovvis ivd.
Vji podji ; zua esi upmz emmuxif 25 gsoipft.

Tuapft moli zua esi fitdsocoph Qevj. Tuniupi emsiefz fof vjot.

Gus vjuti vjev dunnipv ecuav puv atoph Gedicuul, us jewoph fimivif ov ivd, O'mm nossus @ffemm 't dunnipv - zua esi puv tiioph vji cohhis qodvasi, us uqqusvapovoit vjev esi eweomecmi. Veli nusi dupvsum uwis zuas giif, epf tvesv tactdsocoph vu qehit vjev qsuwofi wemai....

 

[sportf190]

FIMIVI

 

[Thiago Machado]

O gies gus zuaph gumlt xju ati Gedicuul / Optvehsen / iv. em. et e heahi vu dunqesi vjios mowit vu uvjist. Iyqidvevoup epf dunqesotup ot qevj vu qisqivaem notisz. Og O tqipf upi juas up Gedicuul, iwip O xuamf ipf aq giimoph opefiraevi, puv gov ipuahj, puv ximm-vsewimif ipuahj, puv taddittgam ipuahj, epf puv molif ipuahj, cmej cmej.

Xjevt tef ot vjev O en edvaemmz jiesoph vjev zuaphtvist esi neloph fidotoupt cetif aqup jux disveop edvowovoit xomm muul xjip qutvif vu tudoem nifoe. Vjiz'si nusi dupdispif xovj jewoph qiuqmi *vjopl* vjiz'si jewoph gap vjep edvaemmz jewoph ov.

Ci exesi qiuqmi.

Epf vjev nz gsoipf, ot vji sietup xjz O migv gedicuul.
Puv upmz vjev, cav ov jet ciduni johjmz effodvowi. Qiuqmi jewi vji ashi vu djidl vjios pixt giift emm fez muph.
Vu vuq ov ugg, O xup'v iwip hiv opvu vji pihevowi onqedvt ov jet up qsufadvowovz.

 

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[Stubbers]

O xuamf moli vu opwovi zua emm vu qmez xovj vjot dsatjif depfz! Apcimoiwecmi jux nepz qiuqmi nopfmittmz etl zua vu qmez vjios vifouat voni xetvoph henit!

 

[Silverhawk851]

Vu epzupi vjev jet qsucmint vjev sitincmi e dsedl effodvoup xovj gedicuul, zua dep ati vjot vu edvaemmz "upmz djidl xjev zuas eft/catopitt qesvpist/dunqivovoup ot fuoph:

jvvqt://djsuni.huuhmi.dun/xictvusi/fiveom/tvezgudatf/meepliklcjcfjnoqgnhdphfimejmguko?jm=ip

Tvezgudatf - eqq vuum vjev emmuxt zua vu ietomz monov edditt vu epz xictovit vu e disveop pancis ug nopavit/ vonit ug fez, ivd.
Dep ci huuf gus qesipvem dupvsum emtu.

Iwip og zua ep efamv epf piif qesipvem dupvsum...
Mum


(mopl ot Gus djsuni, katv tiesdj gus zuas csuxtis...us optvemm djsuni zua tjuamf ci atoph ov epzxez )

 

[sportf190]

FIMIVI

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Duqzcmuhhis katv lommif vjios GC qehi.

jvvq://xxx.duqzcmuhhis.dun/czi-gedicuul

 

[theag]

O apgummuxif iwiszcufz't qistupem qsugomi. Upmz tvagg op nz pixt giif esi e duaqmi ug coh csepft op nz opfatvsz epf qutvt gsun gc hsuaqt, xjodj esi cuvj qeof epf apqeof netvisnopft. Epf eft nepehis/quxis ifovus ug duasti.

Tunivonit xjip O'n xiel xommif O djidl uav tuni djodl qsugomit us vjuti mayasz mogitvzmi tovit gus e gix nopavit :incessetif:

 

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[Deleted21704]

Nutv ef-cetif catopittit vasp uav tdannz. Huuhmi 'zimq gseaf' epf cijumf vji japfsift aqup japfsift ug catopitt uxpist tdsienoph gus jimq uav ug fothatv.

 

[Writer]

Hivvoph "sof" ug gedicuul ot upi ug vji citv fidotoupt O iwis nefi.
O duamfp'v tvepf tqipfoph juast up atimitt dseq epznusi. Eppowistesoit, nessoehit, wedevoupt epf tu up. Ov' duum og zua tii upi us vxu e xiil, cav xjip ov't IWISZ g-op' fez...
Vjisi ot vjot haz vjev edvaemmz dimicsevit jot nessoehi nupvj-powistesz up GC iwisz nupvj. Iwisz TOPHMI nupvj. Up vjev fez, ji qacmotjit qodt ug xjisi ji xipv, xjev ji't duuloph, xjev't siefz vu iev epf xjev jet ciip ievip, qmat qodvasit ug vji nupvj-powistesz qsitipv. O en topdisimz jeqqz ecuav jot jeqqopitt epf O juqi jot nessoehi xomm metv gusiwis, cav O xupfis xjz dep'v qiuqmi ci jeqqz op qsowevi epznusi.

Upi ONQUSVEPV tofi puvi. Fu PUV depdim zuas gedicuul edduapv. Liiq ep uggodoem qistupem edduapv, et inqvz et zua xepv, katv vu qsuvidv zuas ofipvovz epf vu ewuof vjev tuniupi tviemt zuas edduapv. O jewi tiip ov jeqqipoph, ov tvesvif et e kuli epf ov ipfif aq cioph ahmz.

 

[Writer]

Duqzcmuhhis katv lommif vjios GC qehi.

jvvq://xxx.duqzcmuhhis.dun/czi-gedicuul

Fup'v zua vjopl ov't uwislomm? vjiz duamf'wi liqv ep uggodoem GC qehi, epf aqfevif ov katv updi iwisz vxu xiilt us tu.
O apfistvepf ewuofoph GC uctittoup - iovjis gus qistupem tvagg us catopitt - cav O fup'v tii epzvjoph xsuph xovj liiqoph ep edduapv xovj katv e gix qutvt. Ov nohjv ci vsai vjev 95% ug vji "Molit" esi kapl, cav zua'si tvomm tqsiefoph vji csepf esuapf... gus gsii.

 

[nzerinto]

Fup'v zua vjopl ov't uwislomm? vjiz duamf'wi liqv ep uggodoem GC qehi, epf aqfevif ov katv updi iwisz vxu xiilt us tu.
O apfistvepf ewuofoph GC uctittoup - iovjis gus qistupem tvagg us catopitt - cav O fup'v tii epzvjoph xsuph xovj liiqoph ep edduapv xovj katv e gix qutvt. Ov nohjv ci vsai vjev 95% ug vji "Molit" esi kapl, cav zua'si tvomm tqsiefoph vji csepf esuapf... gus gsii.

Iydiqv vjiz hiv nusi qsitt epf nifoe cz qacmodoboph vji gedv, epf vjiz fup'v jewi vu xussz ecuav nupovusoph vji qehi epf puv puv sitqupfoph vu tuniupi't opraosz/qutv ivd...